amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Dd had counseling today. Ds was supposed to stay home (no bashing) but insisted on coming because they get a piece of candy at the end. They starting fighting and ds was above and beyond with his cursing. "Why does dd always f****** have to f****** talk talk about me? She's a f***. I f****** hate this world." He was sticking up the finger, and just totally out of control. When we left he was acting the same and I lost it. I told him to stop f****** cursing at everyone! :blink::mellow::blushing: I couldn't and can't believe I said that! Both kids started hysterical laughing and ds did calm down. His behavior has regressed and I can't pinpoint a starting place. I don't know how good was good. I know at his lowest point he was having an average of 10 aggressive tantrums each day. I'm scared to chart it now because I don't want to know how bad it's really gotten. In Sept 2009 the targeted behavior was his aggression towards dd. I think it's still the same but verbal aggression instead of physical. My question is how do I start behavior boot camp? Both kids react so strongly to the dumbest things that I don't know who to address first. I don't know how to change to get them to listen before I yell. I do know that my slip today is not acceptable and is certainly not the norm around here. I really do not know what to go after first, except moving ds's bedtime back to 6:30 from 7:00. Now what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Not sure if I have missed a story about this on another post..but when you say DS....do you mean your DS7 that you have in your signature!?!?!??!?! IMHO, children that age, who are saying that type of stuff, it's because they hear it all to regularly in their life...they barely recognize it as a "bad word" because it's a normal word for them. Other than that, I'm at a loss for words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Do you mean your 7 year old? My 7 year old doesn't even know that word exists. Surely you mean a teen, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 You poor thing. That is not good that you cursed back, but I might have lost it too listening to that. Sorry you are having such a bad day. Intense kiddos can be tough to deal with. Hope you have a better day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes, I mean my 7 year old. I know that he no longer hears that language in day to day life (because he's at home with me), but he did. His father and his side of the family think it's funny for little ones to curse. He was also in public school for 4 years. He *knows* it's wrong, but it gets the strongest reaction from people outside of home and from me today. Curses and emotional words are tied to different parts of the brain and not "just" the language center. Emotional words (usually curses) are physically easier to say when frustrated, which is why stroke patients or other brain damaged patients tend to have foul language. The above doesn't excuse his language. If anything, it's prompted me to figure out how to afford (the weekly gas to) speech therapy. Now that's he's older, it's obvious that he really can't comunicate well, and I might even rate him below poor. So he has special needs, but that doesn't mean it's easier to accept his behavior or how the kids are feeding off each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Is your DS also in therapy? If not, I would start there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I'd suggest family therapy over therapy for him so everyone can work on the dynamic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 He can't do out-patient therapy, not enough language. We do have in-home behavioral therapy, but they don't DO anything. Everyone involved (except OT) is pushing towards meds, but we've BTDT and it has never worked well. He is due for a sleep study, and feeding therapy, but I'm sick and tired of waiting for answers. Something has to give, but I can't find a Dr willing to just chat and come up with ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 I'd suggest family therapy over therapy for him so everyone can work on the dynamic. We tried. It was a joke. Everyone left more frustrated with every visit, nothing ever changed, and meds were suggested again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 He can't do out-patient therapy, not enough language. We do have in-home behavioral therapy, but they don't DO anything. Everyone involved (except OT) is pushing towards meds, but we've BTDT and it has never worked well. He is due for a sleep study, and feeding therapy, but I'm sick and tired of waiting for answers. Something has to give, but I can't find a Dr willing to just chat and come up with ideas. With limited verbal ability I'd look at somebody with play therapy assistance. A lack of words doesn't mean a lack of feelings and need for how to appropriately show them. Being older with communication issues is frustrating in and of itself and it sounds like there's more going on then just that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 He's capable of behaving fairly well when there are no expectations. For example, I have physical therapy on M, W, and F mornings. Dd is still sleeping and ds really enjoys his "independence." He doesn't do well when there are other people around (doesn't work well in this world!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes, I mean my 7 year old. I know that he no longer hears that language in day to day life (because he's at home with me), but he did. His father and his side of the family think it's funny for little ones to curse. He was also in public school for 4 years. He *knows* it's wrong, but it gets the strongest reaction from people outside of home and from me today. Curses and emotional words are tied to different parts of the brain and not "just" the language center. Emotional words (usually curses) are physically easier to say when frustrated, which is why stroke patients or other brain damaged patients tend to have foul language. The above doesn't excuse his language. If anything, it's prompted me to figure out how to afford (the weekly gas to) speech therapy. Now that's he's older, it's obvious that he really can't comunicate well, and I might even rate him below poor. So he has special needs, but that doesn't mean it's easier to accept his behavior or how the kids are feeding off each other. If he has a communication disorder, I would do speech therapy. I would also have both siblings in family therapy. I would then work with a behavior specialist to script a plan for when he blows up like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 That must be really hard because on the one hand, he's expressing himself (rudely, but okay, still, telling you how he feels) and as a parent, I would want to listen and validate that and work through it and find a better way to express it (you're angry at your sister, etc. etc.) but being in public and all that language... It's impossible as a parent to not sit there thinking, "I'm being judged, I'm being judged, someone is about to call CPS on me..." So, I guess I'm really just saying :grouphug:. That's tough - especially since you sound like you "get it" about why he's doing it, but it's doesn't translate to a solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabula Rasa Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: I wish I had some sort of advice or help I could give, but I have no experience with what you are dealing with. All I can give is hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 That must be really hard because on the one hand, he's expressing himself (rudely, but okay, still, telling you how he feels) and as a parent, I would want to listen and validate that and work through it and find a better way to express it (you're angry at your sister, etc. etc.) but being in public and all that language... It's impossible as a parent to not sit there thinking, "I'm being judged, I'm being judged, someone is about to call CPS on me..." So, I guess I'm really just saying :grouphug:. That's tough - especially since you sound like you "get it" about why he's doing it, but it's doesn't translate to a solution. The bolded is how it got so bad. I was thrilled the first time he cursed at me instead of biting, kicking, etc. :grouphug: I wish I had some sort of advice or help I could give, but I have no experience with what you are dealing with. All I can give is hugs. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Try Valerian root for sleep issues. Getting the proper kind of sleep (complete cycle) does wonders for attitude. Secondly, if he can talk like that, and verbally insist on accompanying dd to therapy, he has enough language for therapy himself. Even 2 and 3 yr olds can receive therapy. I would highly consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 He can't do out-patient therapy, not enough language. We do have in-home behavioral therapy, but they don't DO anything. Everyone involved (except OT) is pushing towards meds, but we've BTDT and it has never worked well. He is due for a sleep study, and feeding therapy, but I'm sick and tired of waiting for answers. Something has to give, but I can't find a Dr willing to just chat and come up with ideas. Not knowing the whole story, who evaluated him? Who prescribed the meds? What did they try? Those things can really make a difference. You need a good psychiatrist that is well versed in very young kids with complex issues if you are going to try meds. Now, meds are not a cure all, but I will say that, at least in our case, meds make about 90% of the difference here. WITH the meds, the therapy/parenting, etc. works, without the meds, nothing matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: No advice. Just wanted to give you hugs and let you know I read your post. If I think of anything I will let you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No advice just :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. I have not faced anything like this situtation so I can only say 'be kind to yourself, you are doing your best". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I am really sorry you are dealing with this and I hope you don't take this as "bashing" but please reconsider allowing a special needs 7 year old with anger issues to stay home alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Not that it really matters, but dd insisted we come in this time. I don't know why, but I ended up taking ds out because it got too intense. We do have the in-home and the therapist is supposed to be a mobile therapist (home therapy instead of office), but they've never done anything. I can't take endless months of ds playing board games with a high paid therapist while his behavior worsens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Not knowing the whole story, who evaluated him? Who prescribed the meds? What did they try? Those things can really make a difference. You need a good psychiatrist that is well versed in very young kids with complex issues if you are going to try meds. Now, meds are not a cure all, but I will say that, at least in our case, meds make about 90% of the difference here. WITH the meds, the therapy/parenting, etc. works, without the meds, nothing matters. He tried risperdal at 2 and half and it was a disaster (allergic reaction). A different form of risperdal at 4 years old and had a drug reaction (drooling, lethargy, increased bad behavior), and ritalin at almost 6 with another immediate alergic reaction. He has seen way too many Drs, and I thought I had fixed that issue by changing all Docs to the children's hospital where he got the CP diagnosis. He saw a psychiatrist a few months ago who does not want to prescribe meds with ds's history, but wants to look into neuro/bio feedback and brain mapping (I've posted about it) and would love to see an fMRI. He has a range of diagnoses and the psychiatrist found his history interesting and said that since many things overlap (ADHD, mood disorders, spectrum, etc) ds could easiely be diagnosed with any of them or all of them and it would be pretty accurate. I personally think he has something going on in the cerebellum, which is 4mm low as per MRI, that is causing or heavily contributing to every issue he has. Whether or not something can be done about it is where I'm stuck and Drs do not answer. :grouphug::grouphug: No advice. Just wanted to give you hugs and let you know I read your post. If I think of anything I will let you know. Thank you. No advice just :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. I have not faced anything like this situtation so I can only say 'be kind to yourself, you are doing your best". Thank you. I am really sorry you are dealing with this and I hope you don't take this as "bashing" but please reconsider allowing a special needs 7 year old with anger issues to stay home alone. I think leaving a "normal" 7 year old home could be a problem (I'm not taking it as bashing at all!). He now knows how to call me, I'm extremely local, and he behaves so much better on his own (playing alone in the yard, at the park with no other kids, freedom on the cruise, etc). I didn't just wake up and decide to leave him home. Legally, which I considered but didn't use exclusively, is that it's allowed as long as he can access emergency services, knows the rules of the house, and general safety rules. Any behavior person we work with knows he behaves better alone and that is taken into account. I wish I could get in his head! Most kids sneak stuff when parents are not looking; mine surprise me with a clean room, or getting along :confused:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Not trying to be snarky at all, but just uber-curious, if you don't mind sharing, which state legally allows a 7 year old to be home alone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 No advice for you...just :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I personally think he has something going on in the cerebellum, which is 4mm low as per MRI, that is causing or heavily contributing to every issue he has. . Why do you think the cerebellum is contributing to this? Do you have any other reason than it being the only abnormality on the MRI? I'm just asking because I'm curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 No advice, but :grouphug: It sounds like you are both really frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Not trying to be snarky at all, but just uber-curious, if you don't mind sharing, which state legally allows a 7 year old to be home alone? I believe quite a few of them do. Some states just leave it up to the parent to decide. I think Iowa is 7 years old or older. I can't find the site anymore. I think there is a state by state guide online. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Not trying to be snarky at all, but just uber-curious, if you don't mind sharing, which state legally allows a 7 year old to be home alone? I was wondering about that, too. Seven seems way too young to me, but I guess a lot of latchkey kids are getting off the school bus and going into empty homes at that age, so maybe it's legal in many places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 NV allows children to stay home alone as long as they know contact numbers in case of an emergency. Even at 7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Not trying to be snarky at all, but just uber-curious, if you don't mind sharing, which state legally allows a 7 year old to be home alone? We're in PA, and I checked with Children and Youth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 (edited) They starting fighting and ds was above and beyond with his cursing. "Why does dd always f****** have to f****** talk talk about me? She's a f***. I f****** hate this world." He was sticking up the finger, and just totally out of control. ... I really do not know what to go after first, except moving ds's bedtime back to 6:30 from 7:00. Now what? Two things -- I really hope you're able to put a stop to the cursing, because I'm sure many people would be shocked and appalled if they heard a child using that language, and they would definitely judge you very harshly as a mom. (You've explained your situation to us, so we understand, but I'm thinking of "first impressions," and I have to be honest -- I would be absolutely mortified to hear a 7yo using that kind of language and yelling at his mom that way.) Secondly, what time does your ds get up in the morning? I can't even imagine my ds going to bed at 6:30 or 7:00 pm unless we got up at 5 am. Could he be getting too much sleep, or lying awake and feeling angry and frustrated about it? (I have no idea; I'm just wondering.) Edited to add: I definitely wouldn't judge you on losing your temper with your ds -- it sounds like he really had it coming, and we all have our breaking points, especially when a child does something to mortify us in front of other people. It's not like you beat him with a stick or anything; you just got angry! :) Edited January 10, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 We're in PA, and I checked with Children and Youth. Thanks -- I was wondering about that. Ds is 11, and he still doesn't want to stay home alone, so I never had to find out about the laws. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Why do you think the cerebellum is contributing to this? Do you have any other reason than it being the only abnormality on the MRI? I'm just asking because I'm curious. Prior to his MRI, all mommy research was always going back to cerebral palsy and/or brain damage (CP only explains motor). I know CP is brain damage, but the emotional problems are different in patients with brain damage. It wasn't until the MRI that I started researching the cerebellum specifically. His verbal, emotional, motor, impulse, and attention problems are (so far) best explained by a problem in this part of the brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Two things -- I really hope you're able to put a stop to the cursing, because I'm sure many people would be shocked and appalled if they heard a child using that language, and they would definitely judge you very harshly as a mom. (You've explained your situation to us, so we understand, but I'm thinking of "first impressions," and I have to be honest -- I would be absolutely mortified to hear a 7yo using that kind of language and yelling at his mom that way.) I would love to put the brakes on this, but I'm so lost! Secondly, what time does your ds get up in the morning? I can't even imagine my ds going to bed at 6:30 or 7:00 pm unless we got up at 5 am. Could he be getting too much sleep, or lying awake and feeling angry and frustrated about it? (I have no idea; I'm just wondering.) He gets up between 6:30-7:00am. He's in bed for about 12 hours which is only a little more then recommended for his age (I think 10-11 hours is recommended). He falls asleep very quick and is out of bed when he gets up. Even he knows he needs that much sleep. The winter is great because he "gets to stay up when it's dark!" lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Prior to his MRI, all mommy research was always going back to cerebral palsy and/or brain damage (CP only explains motor). I know CP is brain damage, but the emotional problems are different in patients with brain damage. It wasn't until the MRI that I started researching the cerebellum specifically. His verbal, emotional, motor, impulse, and attention problems are (so far) best explained by a problem in this part of the brain. yes, the emotional problems ARE worse with brain damage. My son suffered a double concussion and has been awful ever since. How do you feel about neuro/biofeedback? I've read amazing stuff about it. After my own head injury, I went in for a consultation, and the dr. did a quick 3 minute treatment to help my insomnia issues. I slept like a BABY for months afterwards. I'm really sorry. I know how hard it is to find GOOD help. Don't give up. You just need to keep trying until you get the RIGHT help. We've been searching for answers for dd12 for 8 years. She's seeing her 13th doc soon. It's frustrating, but we're getting closer to a diagnosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 He gets up between 6:30-7:00am. He's in bed for about 12 hours which is only a little more then recommended for his age (I think 10-11 hours is recommended). He falls asleep very quick and is out of bed when he gets up. Even he knows he needs that much sleep. The winter is great because he "gets to stay up when it's dark!" lol. That seems normal to me, too -- I was thinking that maybe he was going to bed really early, and then not getting out of bed until 10 am the next morning or something. I wish I had some advice for you, because anger in kids is so hard to deal with. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 (edited) I think that amount of sleep is reasonable for the age. My almost 8 year old sleeps at least 12 hours (he has disrupted sleep/sleep disorder and other issues) and his twin sleeps around 11 hours. I'd guess given the sleep disorders it's likely not restful sleep anyway. I can't remember all he has going on with sleep but I do remember thinking in past threads that part of it is likely sleep deprivation due to sleep quality. He's got more going on than my special needs son and I know my son's poor sleep affects his emotional stability. :grouphug: A few thoughts but mostly I really feel for you. My son is hard but he's not that hard. :grouphug: I do think play therapy could be used in a child with speech issues but I understand your experience/reluctance. It sounds like you've got physical and/or neurological issues in play here that are going to be challenging no matter the therapy approach. But if there is any trauma re: his father/background I'd seek a really good play therapist if I could find one. I wonder if Howard Glasser's approach might help with his particular issues. I don't know. I've got a special needs child with extreme emotional volatility and I tried to use it but then life fell apart and I got off track. I actually like his All Children Flourishing book--it's written much better and the technique is refined--but we likely needed a reward system as laid out in the Transforming the Difficult Child book. Our library system have both books. Some with really hard to handle children including troubled or special needs (autism, etc.) have found it extremely helpful. Edited January 10, 2012 by sbgrace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Yes, I mean my 7 year old. I know that he no longer hears that language in day to day life (because he's at home with me), but he did. His father and his side of the family think it's funny for little ones to curse. He was also in public school for 4 years. He *knows* it's wrong, but it gets the strongest reaction from people outside of home and from me today. Curses and emotional words are tied to different parts of the brain and not "just" the language center. Emotional words (usually curses) are physically easier to say when frustrated, which is why stroke patients or other brain damaged patients tend to have foul language. The above doesn't excuse his language. If anything, it's prompted me to figure out how to afford (the weekly gas to) speech therapy. Now that's he's older, it's obvious that he really can't comunicate well, and I might even rate him below poor. So he has special needs, but that doesn't mean it's easier to accept his behavior or how the kids are feeding off each other. I'm confused. He was in ps for four years? And he's 7 now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I'm confused. He was in ps for four years? And he's 7 now? I was thinking that maybe he was in 2 years of pre-K, kindergarten, and first grade, but I'm just guessing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I was thinking that maybe he was in 2 years of pre-K, kindergarten, and first grade, but I'm just guessing. Not even an option to have 2 yrs of pk here, nor would they take them at 3 yo. That's why I'm completely confused. Plus, being hs'd this year, means he'd have had five years of school, this being his 5th. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 He's capable of behaving fairly well when there are no expectations. For example, I have physical therapy on M, W, and F mornings. Dd is still sleeping and ds really enjoys his "independence." He doesn't do well when there are other people around (doesn't work well in this world!).yep :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Just a guess, but for children with significant needs, the public school takes them into a special needs pre-school at age 3. My daughter was in pre-school at that age due to her autism. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 I'm confused. He was in ps for four years? And he's 7 now? SpEd preschool at 2yrs 9mo, second year at 3yrs 9mo, kindy at 4yrs 9mo, 1st at 5yrs 9mo, and repeating first at home. If I could go back, I never would have put him in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Just a guess, but for children with significant needs, the public school takes them into a special needs pre-school at age 3. My daughter was in pre-school at that age due to her autism. :) Interesting! That sort of thing doesn't exist here. There's a Head Start program, but it's a nursery school sort of thing, def nothing to do w/ps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Not even an option to have 2 yrs of pk here, nor would they take them at 3 yo. That's why I'm completely confused. Plus, being hs'd this year, means he'd have had five years of school, this being his 5th. :confused: Special needs kids start pre-k at age 3. It is called PPCD (preschool program for children with disabilities) and is federally mandated and funded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Are you positive ds 7 has not been tested for ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)? That outburst alone makes me think there is too much rage/anger in a seven year old. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 I think that amount of sleep is reasonable for the age. My almost 8 year old sleeps at least 12 hours (he has disrupted sleep/sleep disorder and other issues) and his twin sleeps around 11 hours. I'd guess given the sleep disorders it's likely not restful sleep anyway. I can't remember all he has going on with sleep but I do remember thinking in past threads that part of it is likely sleep deprivation due to sleep quality. He's got more going on than my special needs son and I know my son's poor sleep affects his emotional stability. He does have a handful of sleep disorders. I did finally call children's hospital today and get the ball rolling on an updated study, then he'll see the sleep disorders team. :grouphug: A few thoughts but mostly I really feel for you. My son is hard but he's not that hard. :grouphug: I do think play therapy could be used in a child with speech issues but I understand your experience/reluctance. It sounds like you've got physical and/or neurological issues in play here that are going to be challenging no matter the therapy approach. But if there is any trauma re: his father/background I'd seek a really good play therapist if I could find one. I wonder if Howard Glasser's approach might help with his particular issues. I don't know. I've got a special needs child with extreme emotional volatility and I tried to use it but then life fell apart and I got off track. I actually like his All Children Flourishing book--it's written much better and the technique is refined--but we likely needed a reward system as laid out in the Transforming the Difficult Child book. Our library system have both books. Some with really hard to handle children including troubled or special needs (autism, etc.) have found it extremely helpful. I'm going to see if my library has or can get his books. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Are you positive ds 7 has not been tested for ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)? That outburst alone makes me think there is too much rage/anger in a seven year old. :confused: He does fit a bit of ODD and it's even been tossed around. But he doesn't really flip out on other people like he does his sister. He will lose it on older/bigger boys, but does well with most adults. I'll look into again now that he's a little older (first neurologist mentioned it when he was 3, but recent psychiatrist said he didn't think so.). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 He does fit a bit of ODD and it's even been tossed around. But he doesn't really flip out on other people like he does his sister. He will lose it on older/bigger boys, but does well with most adults. I'll look into again now that he's a little older (first neurologist mentioned it when he was 3, but recent psychiatrist said he didn't think so.). Having taught some ODD students in the classroom, I can assure you they can be charming and nice. But to family members or situations where they are close to losing it (i.e. not wanting to follow directions, extreme defiance, etc.) the ODD child can be a danger to others. I've had to call administrators to help with a child (age 8) who was out of control in a classroom. She was close to being expelled from school -- but her IEP saved her from that. Last I heard of her years later, she was in and out of juvenile courts and not doing so great in life. Tough road, if it is ODD on top of all you handle. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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