fhjmom Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 The was from a leader of a particular program with which we are involved outlining the calendar for the upcoming year along with a few "housekeeping" type items, including introducing a new secretary. There are probably 100+ families that received this letter, representing a variety of school choices, mostly public school, some private/charter school and while homeschoolers are not the majority, there are definitely quite a few. The part that made me roll my eyes was the opening statement: Dear Parents, Happy 20212! I know you are all thrilled to have your kids back in school and life back to normal. I know that could technically mean that we are back to doing school at home and that we are back in a routine, but on first read it certainly doesn't come across that way. It really smacks of the sterotype of parents that can't wait to unload their kids for someone else to deal with. Anyway it just made me roll my eyes and go uggg! What do you think? Would reading that have rubbed you the wrong way? Would it make a difference to know it came from a church children's minister? Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Yes, this would rub me the wrong way. Even were my children in a ps I would not be "thrilled" to have them gone for the better part of a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Yeah, it reads as "yay, the kids are gone!" :rolleyes: I'd let it go, but I do dislike that sentiment. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Thoughts? It is a common statement, akin to "how's the weather" "how about those Jets" "how's the lumbago" and "give my regards to your wife". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I think that the implication is that "kids away at school = normal." There was no harm meant. However, it was clearly communicated that the writer views children as a burden...something that prevents "normal." Yes, it bothers me that it came from a Childrens' Minister. sigh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 It is a common statement, akin to "how's the weather" "how about those Jets" "how's the lumbago" and "give my regards to your wife". Being common doesn't make it kind or good or even acceptable. There was a time when a WHOLE BUNCH of ugly was common...it was a degrading remark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fhjmom Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 I think that the implication is that "kids away at school = normal." There was no harm meant. However, it was clearly communicated that the writer views children as a burden...something that prevents "normal." Yes, it bothers me that it came from a Childrens' Minister. sigh... :iagree: Paula, I think you articulated perfectly how it made me feel. That was it exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Although I agree to the implications of kids being a bit burdensome... I read it as a friendly, break the ice kind of comment... I don't find that particular saying annoying or offensive, personally, because I have been on both sides of the fence. But, the writer probably erred in assuming that others share the same sentiment... not realizing that others would take offense... I feel BOTH ways this very minute... 3 of my teens go back to ps locally on Monday and on Monday I drive 2 of my boys back to their dad's for ps there... I am glad that my local teens are back to school because they do much better with the structure and the requirements... and I feel horrible to say good-bye to my two sons who have to leave for a few weeks... I've enjoyed every moment with them the past few weeks... "Normal" does happen to be when kids are schooling... even when we homeschooled, I LOVED when we were back to school schedule... that was "normal life". Now "normal" does involve them going out the door to ps. And in case you don't know my story, I absolutely and quite thoroughly enjoyed homeschooling for 15 years and was more than honored to be the one who watched their first steps and taught each of them to read... and some days I miss our Saxon math meetings.... sigh... it goes by so fast... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddykate Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Dear Parents, Happy 20212! I know you are all thrilled to have your kids back in school and life back to normal. I am so slow that I was outraged that they sent out a newsletter with the date wrong! However, I am thrilled that we are back to school, even though my dc are home schooled. The routine is WONDERFUL and I was about to pull my hair out the last few days of our break because they were going a little stir crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Being common doesn't make it kind or good or even acceptable. There was a time when a WHOLE BUNCH of ugly was common...it was a degrading remark. I choose to take such small talk as it is meant: friendly small talk. I find chips on shoulders give me a neckache. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I didn't read it that way at all. I *am* glad we're back to/in/at/(your preposition here) school and back to normal. My ps mom friend and I were just talking about how nice it is to be back in our regular routine after all of the fun of the holidays. We miss the free time with the kids, but we like the regular flow of our school days. That's how I read the intro to the letter, the bustle is over and now we're settling back into the routine. *shrug* No biggie. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 it was a degrading remark. :confused: Degrading? I can understand others feeling mildly annoyed, even though I myself wouldn't even bat an eye. But degrading seems awfully strong...who exactly is being put down here? A little grace towards the sender might be in order. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmschooling Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I think it would sit wrong with me at first. But, then with a second read I think it is basically referring to the fact that it's a return to routine, day to day, regular stuff. Normalcy. Structure. Where that occurs varies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I choose to take such small talk as it is meant: friendly small talk. I find chips on shoulders give me a neckache. :) If this were said to me irl, I would gloss over it. I try to assume the best in people and give them room to grow. This thread is a discussion about a remark...atleast, I thought this was pretty much friendly small talk..."friendly discussion about the meaning of a sentence"...hmmm...I've got some advil for that neckache.:tongue_smilie: (I am :lol: and NOT :glare:. I didn't mean to come across snarky. Sorry.) :confused: Degrading? I can understand others feeling mildly annoyed, even though I myself wouldn't even bat an eye. But degrading seems awfully strong...who exactly is being put down here? A little grace towards the sender might be in order. Cat I am not speaking to the sender. I did say that I don't think that there was any harm meant. But, we are discussing the implications of the quote and not the integrity of the sender. If your dh or other trusted friend said something to the effect that they were thrilled to have you gone, you wouldn't be offended or hurt in anyway? Words carry meaning, and kids are smart enough to understand when they aren't wanted. It is absolutely a degrading remark. The children are being "put down." I understand being a frazzled mom, trust me! It's not OK to say or imply that the children - themselves - are a nuisance/burden. I think that is the implication of the quote. I'm not losing sleep over it tonight, but I'd be mortified at myself if those words left my mouth/keyboard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 If your dh or other trusted friend said something to the effect that they were thrilled to have you gone, you wouldn't be offended or hurt in anyway? Of course I would. But I don't see that at all in that greeting. Of course words carry meaning. But the sender didn't say "Woohoo! The kids are out of your hair! I'm so thrilled they're not underfoot all day long!" That would certainly be rude. We all like our routines, public and homeschooling families alike. We all like our children to get a good education, to get back to activities and friends. It is good that the kids are back in school, whether they're doing school at home or away from home. I use the phrase "We're in/out of school right now," often to mean that we've begun or finished a homeschool term. I wonder if you're reading that folks might be thrilled that the kids are "in school" to mean "at public school, away from home" when the sender likely just meant "doing school." Of course you're entitled to be offended. I'm not trying to change your mind. I just think that "degrading" is a strong word to use for a phrase that might not mean, or even imply, what you're reading into it. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I look at it this way: if I was working full time, and had a two-week vacation with dh, and someone said to him after that " I know you' re happy to have your wife back to work!" it would be hurtful, especially if he enthusiastically agreed and posted that sentiment all over FB like I see people do about their kids. I think we just hear it so often that we don' t hear what is really being said. What is really being said is " I can't wait until I don' t have to be around my kids for 6 or 7 hrs per day, 5 days a week!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 People that have no grid for homeschooling are generally of the mind that public school is a wonderful place, that the children are happy to be back with their friends and mom is happy to have some free head-space. I equate her comment with this: "You homeschool? How in the world do your kids ever get socialized?" She doesn't mean to be rude. She just has no grid for what it means to live a homeschooling lifestyle . . . and why would she? She clearly doesn't homeschool. Matters little that she works with children at a church. If you wanted to do this lady a favour, I would contact her and explain why that comment bothered you and maybe do some proactive teaching about what it means to be a homeschooling family? T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 This year at Christmas-time, when the radio was playing "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" over and over again, I realized that there's a line in that song which says: "And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again." That song was written in 1951 ! This attitude has been around in our country for a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 For parents whose kids go to school, kids being in school is their normal routine. So, it makes sense to say that things are back to "normal. " Disruption in routine is stressful, even if you enjoy being around your kids. I am relieved that our school routine has started because we are not wandering around aimlessly wondering what to do with ourselves:). That said, I would be more bothered by the fact that the comment was not "inclusive" in that it ignored the experiences of the homeschooling families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) The was from a leader of a particular program with which we are involved outlining the calendar for the upcoming year along with a few "housekeeping" type items, including introducing a new secretary. There are probably 100+ families that received this letter, representing a variety of school choices, mostly public school, some private/charter school and while homeschoolers are not the majority, there are definitely quite a few. The part that made me roll my eyes was the opening statement: Dear Parents, Happy 20212! I know you are all thrilled to have your kids back in school and life back to normal . I know that could technically mean that we are back to doing school at home and that we are back in a routine, but on first read it certainly doesn't come across that way. It really smacks of the sterotype of parents that can't wait to unload their kids for someone else to deal with. Anyway it just made me roll my eyes and go uggg! What do you think? Would reading that have rubbed you the wrong way? Would it make a difference to know it came from a church children's minister? Thoughts? I think it's an ice breaker. It's not meant to be cruel, unfeeling, or do much else than try to be a lighthearted introduction to the rest of the information. I can see a dozen different ways this could be offensive, however. "Happy 2012! I know you are all thrilled to have your kids back in school and life back to normal, unless you're homeschooling, or have had a terrible tragedy and life will never be "normal" again. Please disregard if you don't for recognize the Gregorian calendar, or are not thrilled to have your kids back in school because they're having a tough year, or if you thrive on variety and despise routine." I assume the best in people. I don't necessarily think someone needs to "grow" more because they don't cover every possible contingency in a basic, boiler-plate opening line that's meant to be empathetic/sympathetic. "Thanks for the holiday well wishes. It is nice to be back to our routine," would be all I would think. Edited January 7, 2012 by Ipsey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 "Happy 2012! I know you are all thrilled to have your kids back in school and life back to normal, unless you're homeschooling, or have had a terrible tragedy and life will never be "normal" again. Please disregard if you don't for recognize the Gregorian calendar, or are not thrilled to have your kids back in school because they're having a tough year, or if you thrive on variety and despise routine." :lol::lol::lol: Har Har! Good one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 It's simply a statement of routine, not that they feel kids are a burden. It doesn't bother me because it's just simply an ice breaker, as a pp said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 This year at Christmas-time, when the radio was playing "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" over and over again, I realized that there's a line in that song which says: "And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again." That song was written in 1951 ! This attitude has been around in our country for a long time. :iagree: I noticed that a few years ago and laughed to myself when I heard it. I don't find the remark degrading. It's an icebreaker and I received a similar one from dd's Girl Scout leader last week. I think people need to remember that for many, having the kids off during the holidays *really* changes their routine. By the end of that week, or two, everyone is ready to get back on their schedule. In families where there are two working parents, they often need to find childcare. This can be difficult, and in some cases, expensive. I feel thankful it's not a burden I need to carry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Yeah, it reads as "yay, the kids are gone!" :rolleyes: I'd let it go, but I do dislike that sentiment. :tongue_smilie: Ditto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I didn't read it that way at all. I *am* glad we're back to/in/at/(your preposition here) school and back to normal. My ps mom friend and I were just talking about how nice it is to be back in our regular routine after all of the fun of the holidays. We miss the free time with the kids, but we like the regular flow of our school days. That's how I read the intro to the letter, the bustle is over and now we're settling back into the routine. *shrug* No biggie. Cat I agree. I would take it as being glad to be back to our normal routines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I think that over Christmas Break, the parents are NOT seeing their kids at their best, which compounds the situation. The kids are SUPER excited and in most cases, full of sugar, so they are not behaving real well. So yes, please send them back to school!!!!! I, on the other hand, see my kids when they are not super excited and full of crappy food, so I can't wait for things to just get back to normal. Maybe the parents of schooled kids don't realize that their kids aren't always like that. Sort of sad, isn't it. ETA: To OP, I think it was MEANT as a cheery post holiday greeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 It saddens me that some really do not want to actually spend time with their kids. However, I truly think the sentiment intended was more along the lines of "Happy 2012, now that we are settling back into our regular routines..." Yes, the writer could have worded it better, but I wouldn't take offense where none was intended. If it makes you a bit sad for some, as it does me, that's one thing. But mad, offended? Nah... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I think you're reading too much into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 It wouldn't bother me because I am glad to have my kids back in school and our life back to normal. The holidays are wonderful but I love getting back to routine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 That's the children's minister? Seems like he should rethink his ministry target group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 It wouldn't bother me. When dh is home it messes up my routine and although I love him I do look forward to him going back to work in a way because it is like everything is on hold(of course if he miraculously got to retire I'm sure we'd adjust happily :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 It wouldn't bother me because I am glad to have my kids back in school and our life back to normal. The holidays are wonderful but I love getting back to routine. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Why look for offense where none was intended? I've only ever homeschooled, and I'm very happy that my kids are back in school and we're getting back into our routine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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