Hs'ing comment to my son

[5knights3maidens]

My son (14) hates cursive. Seriously, he wants nothing to do with it. Well on Christmas Eve, he opened a card from a friend of his and it was in cursive; he couldn't read it. My dad was angry. He started (loudly) saying ... what's wrong with you, you better know how to read it. What is he, dyslexic? :glare: Then he started on me about when he was going to school. I said he is in school. He will be in 9th next year.... No, the public high school. Ugh! Now I feel like a loser.

 

Dh said just to keep teaching him and showing him cursive and not to worry about it. But, now I'm second guessing everything I've done.

 

Ds is very smart and he, himself said he wasn't going to worry about it. He's not the writing type but he loves to read and watch documentaries.

 

Ds works with a friend of the family and he learns so much from this friend. This friend is a soil scientist and used to teach at a local college. He teaches ds everything from soil to animals etc. while he learns to chop wood, harvest apples, corn, etc. He also learns about hunting and will learn about trapping.

 

Ugh...I'm sorry for going on and on, but I needed to get this out. Today is a very stressful day.

[QuirkyKapers]

:grouphug: Aww- I wouldn't worry about it. In my area, some schools aren't even teaching cursive anymore. What does your son hate about it?

[NicAnn]

I'm sorry. That must have made you and your son feel terrible!

 

For what it's worth, reading others handwriting is difficult! Ever seen a drs? :) Besides, once he is in college, no one will write the way they were taught in school, and most everyone will be writing on the computer. I took online classes and probably haven't wrote more than a paragraph in script since high school!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Your father was out of line. Many children today don't know how to read (or write) cursive. It's going by way of the buggy whip. Personally, I do think it's still important to teach it to my children, but I realize that I'm the dying dinosaur. Children today - public schooled, private schooled, and homeschooled - don't get as much practice reading it as they did even a mere twenty years ago. Everything is type-written or word-processed. Kids don't even hand-write notes to pass in class when the teacher isn't looking - they send text messages! So don't beat yourself up. You've done fine.

 

:iagree: My kids actually like cursive better than printing, but in either case their handwriting is terrible. People get on my case about it sometimes, too, but you just have to ignore it and know that you are doing the best you can do with your son and he will be fine.

[Shellers]

Not all schools teach cursive anymore. http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20111203/ARTICLES/111209819

[elegantlion]

I'm sorry, that was out of line. They aren't going to teach him cursive in school anyway, not at 14. You are not a loser!!!! Neither is your son!!!

 

My ds has trouble with cursive. He always has. If you write out the cursive letters individually they look like a foreign language compared to print. I do want him to read cursive, his cursive writing is actually nicer than his print. At this point he types most projects.

 

However, I've started printing out some copywork pages in cursive, there are free ones online all over, or check lulu for free copybooks. It's usually a quote, something short. I have him read the quote outloud to me, spelling the words if he's not sure, and then he copies it. We post them. I'm doing about one a week. I make it low key, but I hope to avoid the very scenario your ds encountered.

[Caribbean Queen]

He started (loudly) saying ... what's wrong with you, you better know how to read it. What is he, dyslexic?

 

That was rude. He sounds like a grumpy old man.

[GoVanGogh]

:grouphug:

I just went through something similar with MIL. She spent her entire visit belittling homeschooling, but I felt fine/confident in our choice. Then, the last day, my DS asked how to spell a word and my MIL jumped all over my son for not knowing how to spell the word.

My MIL was way out of line, as was your father.

My MIL's comment left me rattled and shaken for several days. A friend and I got together for a cup of tea and had a good talk about our (positive!) thoughts on homeschooling. It really helped me regain my confidence and pull myself back together. You know you aren't a loser and neither is your son. It is challenging to do something so different, like homeschooling, when every 'negative' is going to be associated with homeschooling. :glare:

:grouphug:

[southcarolinamom]

I carefully taught my children cursive from 3rd through 6th grade. Their handwriting was so meticulous and neat! When they hit junior high and didn't "have" to write in cursive anymore, both chose to switch back to printing, and have been "printers" ever since.

 

Don't worry about it, your 14 yo is fine!

[*********]

Your father was out of line. Many children today don't know how to read (or write) cursive. It's going by way of the buggy whip. Personally, I do think it's still important to teach it to my children, but I realize that I'm the dying dinosaur. Children today - public schooled, private schooled, and homeschooled - don't get as much practice reading it as they did even a mere twenty years ago. Everything is type-written or word-processed. Kids don't even hand-write notes to pass in class when the teacher isn't looking - they send text messages! So don't beat yourself up. You've done fine.

 

:iagree:

 

You dad's 'deficit' is much larger than your son's, to be honest. :tongue_smilie:

 

I think if you teach your boy to READ in cursive, that will be enough. Writing in it is going the way of the doo doo bird, IMO. If he doesn't want to learn to write it, that's fine to me. Just teach him to read it, and he'll be good to go. The only time an adult is required to write cursive is for a signature. Help him develop one of those, if he hasn't yet.

[pdalley]

Please tell your father that my entirely public school educated brother- who has a BA in English - has the cursive handwriting of a Doctor or a Serial Killer.

 

He has trouble reading cursive also. He was 'remediated' for his poor handwriting all through school with no other result than to frustrate and exasperate him. I am currently trying to read old letters from my Great Uncle written in the WWII era. Guess what? My Great Uncle was also entirely public schooled and had graduated law school to boot. Horrid handwriting.

 

The ability - or lack thereof - has not one thing to do with where one is educated.

[ktgrok]

How about you and your son work on READING cursive, but don't require him to write in it?

[Mom-ninja.]

The schools here don't teach cursive.

 

 

Also that remark about dyslexia was very insulting. I would have exploded because I do have a ds that is dyslexic.

[Mimm]

Hey, my 10 year old hates cursive and I don't make her use it. I'm not sure how well she can read it but other people's handwriting can be difficult to read sometimes. I'm always having to slowly decipher my father's writing. And what kind of person gets all loud and rude about that type of thing during a holiday of all things? If I had concerns I would quietly start a conversation about it later. "Hey, does he often have a hard time reading or was it just a handwriting issue?" etc. You know, tact! :p

[5forMe]

In our area the public schools don't teach cursive handwriting.

[ma23peas]

My son is the SAME way!!! But I don't care how much he HATES it, he is going to do it!! The same with eating his vegetables and limiting screen time (electronics)...if we let our kids not do things because they hate it then we would not be guiding them as well..but let him have some control...

 

Offer him two solutions...either switch to D'Nealian which is a combo italic style writing...or give him a whole set of cursive workbooks...my son is 16, this year, as much as he HATED it..he had to go back to doing two full pages of copywork in cursive (before that, he has to complete one full worksheet on cursive to make sure he's doing it right and to help his brain map the writing curves)...HE has seen how much his handwriting has improved (I am doing it with all three kids..one has incredibly beautiful handwriting but she has written probably more than 5000 pages of cursive, in homeschooling we get away with not writing so much so it's natural they hate something they're not good at)....

 

I am now teaching writing classes, and expect them to journal 4 pages weekly in handwriting...because many of them have horrific cursive/print and if they're taking the written portion on the ACT/SAT..the one thing I have found is that neatness counts..and it is also about taking pride in your work...which translates into many areas.

[HeatherM2]

How about you and your son work on READING cursive, but don't require him to write in it?

:iagree: This is what we did.

[jhschool]

Sorry if I offend you, but your father saying to your son "What is

wrong with you? Are you dyslexic?" is COMPLETELY inappropriate!!!

 

DH can't write cursive to save his life. He is a Research Scientist

in Mechanical Engineering. Prints everything in squishy writing. No problems.

Always very successful in school, graduated Suma Cum Laude from

engineering college.

 

DS *hates* cursive, reading and writing.

Has huge problems understanding people's bad

cursive handwriting. Has very legible cute print.

DS learned to read when he

was 4, tested high in all the Standardized tests he ever took, but

hates cursive with a vengeance!!!

 

So that's two examples that

hating cursive has NOTHING to do with reading (dyslexia)

or writing (dysgraphia).

[Myeightkiddies]

Your father shouldn't have said anything. People who are against homeschooling look for everything and anything to give them an excuse to bash it. If your son was in public school, chances are nothing would have been said. Ignore it and move on.

 

As far as the cursive goes, I'd like to encourage you to work with your son on teaching him how to read it. There will be times, such as with the card, when it will be needed. My dh, "rocket scientist", seems to only write in cursive when he signs his name. My older sons know how but typically no longer do either. My rule has always been if you choose not to write in cursive at least know how to read it.

 

I'm really sorry that your son went through that (and you too). :grouphug::grouphug:

[jasar31629]

First of all, I'd be absolutely livid if anyone spoke to my child that way. Now that you've had time to process, I hope you'll let your dad know that you expect an apology for your ds. It was totally uncalled for- what a horrible way to bring up concerns about a person's education. Yeesh. Even if it came from a 'good' place (I've no idea about the history there...if he's been supportive or not in the past) it's demeaning and alienating. I'd let him know how upset I was...that if he had concerns he should bring them to you and not holler about them in front of everyone.

 

All that being said, I do find it a bit of a concern that your 14yo could not read cursive. I don't feel that it makes a child dumb or is a reflection of their IQ/ability/etc but I do feel it's something that needs to be taught for the very reason you've just found. If you don't want to write in cursive, that's fine, but you should be able to read it at the very least. There are the older generations who still write this way and plenty of the current as well.

 

Still, it was a horrible reaction from your dad. Seems there might have been some pent-up worries there? :confused: I'd be firm and let him know he most definitely crossed the line...but if he's been generally supportive in the past I'd handle it a bit more gently- probably sharing with him what you shared with us as well as remedies you seek to fix this small hole. Sorry you had to deal with that over the holidays...and for your ds.

[TracyR]

I have to say that sounds like something my fil would say. Anyways, I wouldn't worry about it. Schools in our area, even our one and only local private school is trying to phase out cursive. They teach it to the kids now in 2nd and maybe 3rd (not sure since they changed teachers this year for 3/4 grade) and that's it. After at least 5 and up the teachers are actually discouraging the kids from using it anymore ( which makes me really unhappy). So really more and more schools aren't teaching it because they feel they no longer have the time to teach it since they have to teach kids to the tests.

 

If your son was upset then its time he learns it. If your homeschooling then you can purchase or print out some worksheets for him to practice with. If he hates it and doesn't want anything to do with it , then that's your son's problem and maybe he should learn. I would tell him its a good learning experience as to WHY you need to learn it.

[myfunnybunch]

:grouphug:

 

Your dad: Meh. His manners leave something to be desired.

 

Cursive: Many schools do not teach cursive writing any more. It is nice to be able to read it, and maybe your ds will be willing to try to learn to read it with the card as a motivator, but cursive writing is certainly not a great yardstick to measure quality of education.Maybe just having him type some things in a cursive font on the computer will help him to decipher cursive without having to learn to write it.

 

Education: I am impressed that your ds is, at 14, is doing work that is meaningful to him with a knowledgeable person who is teaching him skills for the future. Being able to do and make things is far more important than cursive.

 

:grouphug: Our parents can certainly do a number on us. What a shame that your dad can't see all of the good things your ds is doing and learning and be proud of both of you. I am impressed with you for making sure your ds has an education that suits him instead of trying to squash him into someone else's education "box".

 

Cat

[Moxie]

First of all, I'd be absolutely livid if anyone spoke to my child that way. Now that you've had time to process, I hope you'll let your dad know that you expect an apology for your ds. It was totally uncalled for- what a horrible way to bring up concerns about a person's education. Yeesh. Even if it came from a 'good' place (I've no idea about the history there...if he's been supportive or not in the past) it's demeaning and alienating. I'd let him know how upset I was...that if he had concerns he should bring them to you and not holler about them in front of everyone.

 

All that being said, I do find it a bit of a concern that your 14yo could not read cursive. I don't feel that it makes a child dumb or is a reflection of their IQ/ability/etc but I do feel it's something that needs to be taught for the very reason you've just found. If you don't want to write in cursive, that's fine, but you should be able to read it at the very least. There are the older generations who still write this way and plenty of the current as well.

 

Still, it was a horrible reaction from your dad. Seems there might have been some pent-up worries there? :confused: I'd be firm and let him know he most definitely crossed the line...but if he's been generally supportive in the past I'd handle it a bit more gently- probably sharing with him what you shared with us as well as remedies you seek to fix this small hole. Sorry you had to deal with that over the holidays...and for your ds.

 

I agree with all of this. Your dad needs to learn to hold his tongue. But your 14 year old should also probably learn to read cursive.

[catz]

I agree with all of this. Your dad needs to learn to hold his tongue. But your 14 year old should also probably learn to read cursive.

 

:iagree: Is he a good reader otherwise? Just curious - because my kids figured out how to read cursive long before they could comfortably write it.

[lllll]

..

[ChristyB in TN]

My oldest son is on an academic scholarship at a university, homeschooled most of his life, and doesn't use cursive because he simply did not want to learn it. I felt no reason for him to KNOW it! He can read it if he tries, now, but this is probably a recent thing. Psh. Tell your dad to stick to something worth fussing about.

[SKL]

That was simply mean.

 

However, I think your son needs to read cursive. It should not take long to learn at this point.

 

Here's my philosophy on learning cursive: the nation's founding documents and so many important source documents are written in cursive. Who wants to have to take someone else's word for what such important documents say? Animal Farm, anyone?

 

This is why I think it's wrong that public schools in some areas are ceasing to teach cursive. But on the other hand, at least you can take comfort in the fact that your son is ahead of the anti-cursive trend. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but personally I don't think it's ideal.

[TranquilMind]

I'm sorry, that was out of line. They aren't going to teach him cursive in school anyway, not at 14. You are not a loser!!!! Neither is your son!!!

 

My ds has trouble with cursive. He always has. If you write out the cursive letters individually they look like a foreign language compared to print. I do want him to read cursive, his cursive writing is actually nicer than his print. At this point he types most projects.

 

However, I've started printing out some copywork pages in cursive, there are free ones online all over, or check lulu for free copybooks. It's usually a quote, something short. I have him read the quote outloud to me, spelling the words if he's not sure, and then he copies it. We post them. I'm doing about one a week. I make it low key, but I hope to avoid the very scenario your ds encountered.

Yes, agreed. Your father was out of line to chastise you like that. Just tell him to stuff it.

 

Now teach cursive to your son. He's older so he will pick it up very quickly and he will need it, because there WILL be handwritten notes and instructions in life as he has already learned.

 

It is true that many schools are dropping it, but it isn't wise.

[Chris in VA]

They teach it in the early grades, here, but don't require it in 7th and on; once they learn it, kids can write however they want to.

 

I think it's useful in some ways.

 

But your dad was out of line.

 

:grouphug:

[laundrycrisis]

I agree with all of this. Your dad needs to learn to hold his tongue. But your 14 year old should also probably learn to read cursive.

 

:iagree: I do not think it is important to be able to write in cursive, but it is important to be able to read it. Still, your dad was way out of line to speak to you that way. :grouphug:

[5knights3maidens]

Thank you for all the replies. :001_smile: I will be getting some cursive writing books. We will take it easy.

He did do cursive for a year and just hated it. He did HWOT.

 

Thank you again.

:001_smile:

 

Someone asked how his reading (books, etc.) is; it is wonderful. ;) He reads all the time.