I am losing. my. mind.

[plain jane]

I have the fussiest baby ever. Hands down. :glare:

 

It has been nine months of crying, whining, complaining, fussing. I am so sick of it. Oddly enough no colic but we're sure making up for lost time these last few months. :001_huh:

 

I can't take it anymore. I'm not enjoying having a baby at all and I LOVE babies. I daydream of dropping this one off at daycare every morning just so we can get a break from all the fussing.

 

I can't get anything done. My sleep is greatly affected. Not only is the constant night waking but for the last week, baby won't settle down to bed before midnight. MIDNIGHT!!:glare: Our schooling is the most affected. Not only am I totally sleep deprived but there's the constant fussing during school time. Playing on the floor is not good enough, the bouncer is not good enough, in the carrier is ok, but only if I'm not sitting & in constant motion & only then for maybe an hour or so. Then it's fuss, fuss, fuss.

 

Then there's the 3 second nursing routine. Nurse for 3 secs, look around, coo, giggle, try to crawl away, nurse for 3 more seconds, claw at mommy's face, repeat ad nauseum.

 

No naps during the day. Ever. :glare: Trust me, it's not from lack of trying on my part. I waste a good hour to two hours PER DAY trying to get this baby to nap. At the slightest sign of fatigue, I start the nap routine. No luck. Usually around 5pm baby will crash for an hour or so. I know this is the reason baby's up until midnight but lemme tell you, after an exhausting day of fussing and crying I'm so done and ready for a break. :(

 

I am so tired. I am so frustrated. I am incredibly disappointed at how little school work I can get done with my kids because of this baby.

 

These have always been the best years of my life (the ones when I've had a baby) but I'm not enjoying this one at all. Worst of all, I'm already fearing the toddler years. :(

 

What on earth do I do?

 

Edited to add: Since birth this child won't settle in the evening for anyone but me. :willy_nilly: We cosleep and there's always been *constant* waking in the evenings until I come to bed for the night. I rarely get a moment to myself. I've not been able to get anything done in the evenings because of baby. No school prep (which again has greatly affected our schooling) no things for myself, nadda. I get to watch TV shows and sometimes read a book if the book light doesn't get in the way too much.

 

It's been nine months of no time to myself in the evening and I'm going crazy. This one is so difficult and I'm so tired and so frustrated. I do go out by myself once a week or so but even then, I'm so exhausted that it's not even worth it.

Edited December 14, 2011 by plain jane

[clementine]

:grouphug::grouphug: I wish I had advice for you! Hopefully the napless days & sleepless nights won't continue for too much longer. I would be extremely exhausted & frustrated too! :grouphug::grouphug:

[emeraldjoy]

You probably have tried this a thousand times over but Espsom salt lavender bath....maybe he would sleep for atleast a little bit???

so, so sorry. Mine is 5 monthes and I think he is more fussy than my other 4, but nothing like what you describe. Sleeping at night is an issue thoug....and not getting enough sleep affects everything like you said. You beastfeed....maybe he is sensitive to something you are eating? probably tried that though.

so sorry.

My babe does well with the bath and then a rubdown with lotion....then he naps for longer than I can ever get him otherwise.

e

[Lily_Grace]

Do you have an amber necklace? I'd try that first and if that didn't work look for an infant chiropractor.

[fairfarmhand]

I would try eliminating stuff from my diet. For my kids it was cows milk dairy.

 

So So So sorry about this. I know it has to be miserable.

[plain jane]

You probably have tried this a thousand times over but Espsom salt lavender bath....maybe he would sleep for atleast a little bit???

so, so sorry. Mine is 5 monthes and I think he is more fussy than my other 4, but nothing like what you describe. Sleeping at night is an issue thoug....and not getting enough sleep affects everything like you said. You beastfeed....maybe he is sensitive to something you are eating? probably tried that though.

so sorry.

My babe does well with the bath and then a rubdown with lotion....then he naps for longer than I can ever get him otherwise.

e

 

I've never tried the epsom salt bath. I will give that a try tonight, thank you.

 

I've cut out dairy and a few things but not gluten. I don't know if gluten would make a difference or not. Being without dairy I'm already down to fruits, vegetables and some basic breads. The thought of having to go gluten free at this point is enough to put me over the edge. :tongue_smilie: I haven't had so much as a cookie (as far as anything dessert-ish goes) since baby's been born. Don't take away my bread too! :lol::lol:

[Mommyfaithe]

My 2nd baby was like this. She had a deep inner ear infection that had gone undetected....yes, by the doctors:glare: she cried for 8 straight months...supposedly because she was fussy. I used to go to my friends house and hand her baby and ask for just 5 minutes to pee. Seriously.

 

We finally found the ear infections...treated...tubes...and she has been an absolute delight ever since...

 

Also, some babies are allergic to stuff you could be eating and reacting with crying....dairy, broccoli and spinach were known to set some of my kids to crying for hours.

 

I am sorry you are dealing with this....:grouphug::grouphug: I can certainly commiserate.

 

Faithe

[Kim in Appalachia]

:grouphug:

 

I wish there was an easy answer. :grouphug: Out of my 5, I had one who would not sleep at night (nor would she nap), and one who was fussy all day long. It's hard, very hard.

 

Some things that helped a little (not a cure-all) were: wearing the child as much as possible (even at 9 months),

 

forcing the nursing sessions (not letting go of the child until he/she was done then not feeding again until next feeding), Also increasing whole foods at feeding time,

 

checking for food allergies (my oldest son was allergic to milk, but I realized later that he was probably allergic to eggs as well. :sad: ),

 

and putting the child in the crib (awake) and taking a nap.

 

That last one was important. I shut the child's door, took the sound machine to my room and took a nap. Even 30 minutes helps.

 

My 2 worst babies were also my best toddlers, so there is hope. My best ever baby was my most difficult toddler. You never can tell.

 

:grouphug:

[heartosunshine]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Both my dc were exactly this way! Fussy, fussy, fussy, no naps, etc. It was exhausting both physically & mentally. I'm so sorry to hear your struggles & I completely understand. All I can say is "Hang in there!"

 

For my children, the toddler years were "willful" and the elementary years were "the years of inflexibility". Now, the middle school years, which I hear are supposed to be the worst, are absolutely joyful! Not that we don't have our moments, but, overall, it's so much better now.

 

I'm thankful that they were willful because now they don't bend to peer pressure. They are more flexible on some things now but their inflexibility has moved them to work harder to achieve what they want their world to be. (Does that make sense? :confused:)

 

If there's any way you can get some help right now, do so. Get regular breaks somehow. Otherwise, you'll get completely run down. And, I'll reiterate, Hang in there!

[Desert Rat]

Hugs to you. This was like my first. Luckily, I was a first time mom so I knew no different. My mom was actually shocked that I was having a second!

He started getting better at 1 yo. Before that he would wake every other hour all night long. He took naps only when on me (both of these I now realize are my fault-but I was a new mom). Dh was terrified he was going to break him, so he was very hands off. I lost a bit of my sanity that year.

I can tell you that he was a good toddler (clingy but good), a difficult preschooler, and is wonderful now. I'm hoping that's not a pattern because that will mean he's a difficult teen, but we will see.

Anyway, all this to say, I've been where you are. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and swing for a bit. It'll get better.

[plain jane]

Do you have an amber necklace? I'd try that first and if that didn't work look for an infant chiropractor.

 

Yes on both counts.

[plain jane]

My 2nd baby was like this. She had a deep inner ear infection that had gone undetected....yes, by the doctors:glare: she cried for 8 straight months...supposedly because she was fussy. I used to go to my friends house and hand her baby and ask for just 5 minutes to pee. Seriously.

 

We finally found the ear infections...treated...tubes...and she has been an absolute delight ever since...

 

Also, some babies are allergic to stuff you could be eating and reacting with crying....dairy, broccoli and spinach were known to set some of my kids to crying for hours.

 

I am sorry you are dealing with this....:grouphug::grouphug: I can certainly commiserate.

 

Faithe

 

Ped and chiro both say baby checks out fine. I don't know anymore. :confused:

 

I have to revisit the allergy stuff. This would be the first time one of mine has reacted while I'm nursing. I'm completely off dairy, and consequently all processed foods but perhaps I need to start thinking of ditching gluten. I can't think of what else it could be. I need to eat too. :tongue_smilie:

[Leanna Tomlinson]

Have you considered reflux? (GERD)

 

Does/did your baby spit up at all? I am now convinced after extreme reflux with my 6th baby, that my first had it but never spit up. My sixth baby spit up all.the.time. Massive amounts. I had to get a new wardrobe when she was a toddler because everything was stained beyond rescue. Baby #6 was a new child when we started Zantac at 5 months. Both of these babies were very fussy, difficult to settle, and much like the way you described your baby.

 

When #6 was diagnosed with reflux, I started remembering my firstborn. She was very fussy, never napped, and acted much the same way without spitting up. I am convinced that she had reflux, too. I just suffered through.

 

Here's what goes on with them...

The baby is hungry, so they nurse, but after a few minutes the stomach contents start traveling back up the esophagus causing pain, so they stop nursing. But they are still hungry, so they come back for a few more sips. Lying down can also trigger the reflux, so baby chooses to stay awake in an upright position. Also, stomach acid can bathe the eustachian tubes causing moderate ear pain even when there is no ear infection.

 

Basically, by 9 months they have figured out that lying down causes pain, so they conclude life is better if they remain active.

 

Does your baby arch his back when he nurses? Cock his neck back while nursing or sleeping? Swallow a lot? Wake up suddenly as if startled? (choking on acid)

 

The fussiness could be many other things as well.

I knew one family where the baby fussed for months until his dislocated shoulder was fixed by a chiropractor. (This happened at birth.)

 

Food allergies are another cause and can be tied to reflux.

 

Environmental allergies can also play a part.

 

Start watching for times that baby is more or less fussy. Keep a journal. You may have to watch for minor signs/ triggers/ differences in behavior, but these small things may be your clue to finding a cause.

 

:grouphug:

[Upward Journey]

I had one that was GREATLY affected by caffiene, to the point that I couldn't even have decaf tea or coffee. My life was exactly as you descibed until I cut every trace from my diet, I couldn't even sneak a chocolate chip. It took me quite a while to figure this out unfortunetly :glare: He also couldn't tolerate oats. Life at least became bearable after my dietary changes.

 

:grouphug: hugs to you.

[plain jane]

:grouphug:

 

I wish there was an easy answer. :grouphug: Out of my 5, I had one who would not sleep at night (nor would she nap), and one who was fussy all day long. It's hard, very hard.

 

It is so hard and I feel so guilty at how unhappy I am about this whole situation. :(

 

Some things that helped a little (not a cure-all) were: wearing the child as much as possible (even at 9 months),

 

I do this as much as I can but I'm paying for it in my back. I'm having to see my chiro weekly despite having an Ergo carrier. He says baby is simply too heavy for me (more than 15% of my body weight)to be carrying around so much but it's the only way to get a bit of sanity. If one can consider sanity to be cooking with a screaming baby on your back who's pushing away from you. ;)

 

forcing the nursing sessions (not letting go of the child until he/she was done then not feeding again until next feeding), Also increasing whole foods at feeding time,

 

I do the forced nursing sessions. :blush: Working on the rice cereal thing to at least try to get food in the tummy

 

checking for food allergies (my oldest son was allergic to milk, but I realized later that he was probably allergic to eggs as well. :sad: ),

 

Hmmm. Hadn't thought of egss. I don't have many of those. I don't know what else to eliminate.

 

and putting the child in the crib (awake) and taking a nap.

 

A nap sounds so glorious!!

 

That last one was important. I shut the child's door, took the sound machine to my room and took a nap. Even 30 minutes helps.

 

My 2 worst babies were also my best toddlers, so there is hope. My best ever baby was my most difficult toddler. You never can tell.

 

:grouphug:

 

Thanks for the kind support. :grouphug:

[Plucky]

I'm so sorry. I like co-sleeping, but maybe for this one she needs her own space? I don't know since I am only reading a message board. I will say that my 2nd son was like that. He has adhd/sensory issues. I only co-slept for a few months with my kids. When I had enough I would put him in his crib and take a break. I love him, but I couldn't take it either and I am not a CIO mom, but I started feeling overwhelmed and resentful and worse so we took breaks so I could recoup. He could cry in there as well as my arms. When I felt better I'd go get him. I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is having a difficult baby, and yes he was difficult for a long while, still is in some ways but I know how to handle him better now.

[plain jane]

I had one that was GREATLY affected by caffiene, to the point that I couldn't even have decaf tea or coffee. My life was exactly as you descibed until I cut every trace from my diet, I couldn't even sneak a chocolate chip. It took me quite a while to figure this out unfortunetly :glare: He also couldn't tolerate oats. Life at least became bearable after my dietary changes.

 

:grouphug: hugs to you.

 

I've been thinking about this lately. :( I only have one cup in the morning and one in the afternoon but I guess that would be enough to do it, huh?

 

I don't want to give up coffee. I don't think I'm addicted, I don't *need* it to wake up or keep me going but I really do enjoy a good cup. Since having to go dairy free, I've not had any treats. No chocolate, cookies or cakes or anything of the sort. My coffee is my one indulgence. Sigh... I don't want to give that up too. :tongue_smilie::crying:

 

Darn. Sounds like I should give that a go.

[Pink Fairy]

I'm so sorry, this sounds just miserable. :(

[plain jane]

Have you considered reflux? (GERD)

 

Does/did your baby spit up at all? I am now convinced after extreme reflux with my 6th baby, that my first had it but never spit up. My sixth baby spit up all.the.time. Massive amounts. I had to get a new wardrobe when she was a toddler because everything was stained beyond rescue. Baby #6 was a new child when we started Zantac at 5 months. Both of these babies were very fussy, difficult to settle, and much like the way you described your baby.

 

When #6 was diagnosed with reflux, I started remembering my firstborn. She was very fussy, never napped, and acted much the same way without spitting up. I am convinced that she had reflux, too. I just suffered through.

 

Here's what goes on with them...

The baby is hungry, so they nurse, but after a few minutes the stomach contents start traveling back up the esophagus causing pain, so they stop nursing. But they are still hungry, so they come back for a few more sips. Lying down can also trigger the reflux, so baby chooses to stay awake in an upright position. Also, stomach acid can bathe the eustachian tubes causing moderate ear pain even when there is no ear infection.

 

Basically, by 9 months they have figured out that lying down causes pain, so they conclude life is better if they remain active.

 

Does your baby arch his back when he nurses? no Cock his neck back while nursing or sleeping? no Swallow a lot? nope Wake up suddenly as if startled? (choking on acid) not this either

 

The fussiness could be many other things as well.

I knew one family where the baby fussed for months until his dislocated shoulder was fixed by a chiropractor. (This happened at birth.)

 

Food allergies are another cause and can be tied to reflux.

 

Environmental allergies can also play a part.

 

Start watching for times that baby is more or less fussy. Keep a journal. You may have to watch for minor signs/ triggers/ differences in behavior, but these small things may be your clue to finding a cause.

 

:grouphug:

 

Thank you. I'm going to start a journal today and see what comes of it.

 

I've thought about reflux and have asked my ped and chiro about it. Neither seem to think that's what's going on but neither can say with certainty that it's not what's going on. :confused: I'm going to ask again. Or maybe I can get a script for something and see if it helps. :confused:

 

Frustrating!!!

[mom2myboys]

:grouphug: Don't feel guilty for not enjoying this. I don't think anyone in their right mind would enjoy what you are going through. I am so sorry that things are so miserable. :grouphug:

 

I would also look into GERD (although you probably have). As already mentioned, some babies have it but never spit up.

 

Does your baby seem particularly sensitive to certain stimuli? Could sensory issues be a possibility?

 

Did you see any improvement after cutting out dairy? If not, you could try to gradually put it back in and if there is no worsening of symptoms it may not be that. No reason for you to suffer needlessly.

 

Have you seen Dr. Sears' book the The Fussy Baby? Maybe there are some ideas there?

 

You are doing such a great job in a tough situation. I hope that this stage will pass quickly and that your little one will be a most delightful toddler. Hang in there mama. :grouphug:

[unsinkable]

I've been thinking about this lately. :( I only have one cup in the morning and one in the afternoon but I guess that would be enough to do it, huh?

 

I don't want to give up coffee. I don't think I'm addicted, I don't *need* it to wake up or keep me going but I really do enjoy a good cup. Since having to go dairy free, I've not had any treats. No chocolate, cookies or cakes or anything of the sort. My coffee is my one indulgence. Sigh... I don't want to give that up too. :tongue_smilie::crying:

 

Darn. Sounds like I should give that a go.

 

Why do you have to give up cookies or cakes to go dairy free?

 

Cookies are fat, (shortening or margarine works, altho' I know it's WTM verboten :D) sugar, flour and and egg or two? Am I missing something? :confused:

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

:grouphug:

None of mine were fussy for 9 months, but one was unbearable for 3 months. I remember having to take daily breaks for a few minutes just to keep my sanity. Fed the baby, dry diaper and put in crib. Then we all went on the deck for 15 minutes just for the quite. At exactly 3 months he stopped and has been my most easiest child since.

 

You have been given great advice to check into. Other then that, :grouphug:

[plain jane]

:grouphug: Don't feel guilty for not enjoying this. I don't think anyone in their right mind would enjoy what you are going through. I am so sorry that things are so miserable. :grouphug:

 

I would also look into GERD (although you probably have). As already mentioned, some babies have it but never spit up.

 

Does your baby seem particularly sensitive to certain stimuli? Could sensory issues be a possibility?

 

Did you see any improvement after cutting out dairy? If not, you could try to gradually put it back in and if there is no worsening of symptoms it may not be that. No reason for you to suffer needlessly.

 

Have you seen Dr. Sears' book the The Fussy Baby? Maybe there are some ideas there?

 

You are doing such a great job in a tough situation. I hope that this stage will pass quickly and that your little one will be a most delightful toddler. Hang in there mama. :grouphug:

 

I love the Fussy Baby book idea. Thing is, I really don't have time to read a book. :lol::lol: :blink:

 

Oy.

[The Girls' Mom]

:grouphug:

 

My oldest was like that. I cried. A. Lot. She's my most easy going child now though. (Although she STILL doesn't sleep well, and she's 15!) I don't have any advice, just hope. Once she could walk, the constant fussiness stopped. We also know now that she's allergic to practically everything that grows, so that may have been part of the problem.

 

:grouphug:

[Upward Journey]

I've been thinking about this lately. :( I only have one cup in the morning and one in the afternoon but I guess that would be enough to do it, huh?

 

I don't want to give up coffee. I don't think I'm addicted, I don't *need* it to wake up or keep me going but I really do enjoy a good cup. Since having to go dairy free, I've not had any treats. No chocolate, cookies or cakes or anything of the sort. My coffee is my one indulgence. Sigh... I don't want to give that up too. :tongue_smilie::crying:

 

Darn. Sounds like I should give that a go.

 

Definetly. I'm sooooo sorry. It's worth a shot. Maybe it'll turn out to not be the caffiene. :grouphug:

[plain jane]

Why do you have to give up cookies or cakes to go dairy free?

 

Cookies are fat, (shortening or margarine works, altho' I know it's WTM verboten :D) sugar, flour and and egg or two? Am I missing something? :confused:

 

I haven't had much time to bake and most of the cakes/treast in stores have dairy in them or in the icing. Or butter. :rolleyes: I've recently (as in the last week) discovered that there are cookies without dairy. :hurray:

 

I do miss cakes and pies and desserts. Was not able to track down a dairy free pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. :tongue_smilie:

 

No, you're not missing anything. I could bake my own but I have no energy for it. I know that sounds lazy. I probably am much lazier than I should be. I'm just so tired and worn out.

[almondbutterandjelly]

Have you taken the baby to an allergist to get her tested? I wouldn't be surprised if it were allergies. Then you would know what you can and can't eat. That makes it much easier, instead of the guessing game. My dd was allergic to milk, we thought for sure, and then also found out about eggs at the allergist. Very helpful information to have. :grouphug:

[plain jane]

Definetly. I'm sooooo sorry. It's worth a shot. Maybe it'll turn out to not be the caffiene. :grouphug:

 

How long do I have to give it up for to know if it's the caffeine? Is it a matter of days or weeks? I need to know what I'm getting into here. :lol::lol:

[plain jane]

Have you taken the baby to an allergist to get her tested? I wouldn't be surprised if it were allergies. Then you would know what you can and can't eat. That makes it much easier, instead of the guessing game. My dd was allergic to milk, we thought for sure, and then also found out about eggs at the allergist. Very helpful information to have. :grouphug:

 

No, I hadn't done this. I didn't know an allergist would see one so young. Duh. I'm going in a bit with one of my other kids. I'll ask him then. Thanks!

[unsinkable]

I haven't had much time to bake and most of the cakes/treast in stores have dairy in them or in the icing. Or butter. :rolleyes: I've recently (as in the last week) discovered that there are cookies without dairy. :hurray:

 

I do miss cakes and pies and desserts. Was not able to track down a dairy free pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. :tongue_smilie:

 

No, you're not missing anything. I could bake my own but I have no energy for it. I know that sounds lazy. I probably am much lazier than I should be. I'm just so tired and worn out.

 

It doesn't sound lazy. You sound overwhelmed.

 

:grouphug:

 

I hope you get some answers.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Have you considered reflux? (GERD)

 

Does/did your baby spit up at all? I am now convinced after extreme reflux with my 6th baby, that my first had it but never spit up. My sixth baby spit up all.the.time. Massive amounts. I had to get a new wardrobe when she was a toddler because everything was stained beyond rescue. Baby #6 was a new child when we started Zantac at 5 months. Both of these babies were very fussy, difficult to settle, and much like the way you described your baby.

 

When #6 was diagnosed with reflux, I started remembering my firstborn. She was very fussy, never napped, and acted much the same way without spitting up. I am convinced that she had reflux, too. I just suffered through.

 

Here's what goes on with them...

The baby is hungry, so they nurse, but after a few minutes the stomach contents start traveling back up the esophagus causing pain, so they stop nursing. But they are still hungry, so they come back for a few more sips. Lying down can also trigger the reflux, so baby chooses to stay awake in an upright position. Also, stomach acid can bathe the eustachian tubes causing moderate ear pain even when there is no ear infection.

 

Basically, by 9 months they have figured out that lying down causes pain, so they conclude life is better if they remain active.

 

Does your baby arch his back when he nurses? Cock his neck back while nursing or sleeping? Swallow a lot? Wake up suddenly as if startled? (choking on acid)

 

The fussiness could be many other things as well.

I knew one family where the baby fussed for months until his dislocated shoulder was fixed by a chiropractor. (This happened at birth.)

 

Food allergies are another cause and can be tied to reflux.

 

Environmental allergies can also play a part.

 

Start watching for times that baby is more or less fussy. Keep a journal. You may have to watch for minor signs/ triggers/ differences in behavior, but these small things may be your clue to finding a cause.

 

:grouphug:

 

 

:iagree: This could be a possibility.

My first baby was like this. He cried and fussed inconsolably. He never nursed well, either. I kept taking him back to the ped and insisting something was wrong. Yes, this was my first baby, but having 4 younger siblings and a huge family, I'd spent enough time around infants to know something wasn't right. The doctor kept telling me everything was okay, and kept giving me that "new mom" look and telling me that babies cry, it's normal. Whatever.

 

I didn't have to deal with it anywhere near as long as you did, though. When he was 3 months old, we went on vacation with my whole family to the Outer Banks. One BIL, who is a pediatrician, volunteered to watch my son while I went in the hot tub with my sisters. This was the first chance I had to get away from holding him. After 15 minutes of dealing with the screaming baby, BIL came out to the hot tub, and said he thought my son had reflux, even though he didn't spit up that frequently. He gave him some Maalox for the time being, and told me to take him back to the ped at home and tell him what BIL told me. So, we got meds for the reflux, and within 3 days, I had a totally different baby. He started sleeping through the night and no more fussing and crying all day long.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: I hope you can figure out what is making your fusser so miserable! And I hope you can get some sleep! :grouphug:

[mom2myboys]

I love the Fussy Baby book idea. Thing is, I really don't have time to read a book. :lol::lol: :blink:

 

Oy.

 

I know. It sounds like you don't have time to pee in peace. :tongue_smilie:Life with a difficult baby is trying. I remember. (Ah the memories of going to the bathroom with a baby in the Ergo.:tongue_smilie:) Maybe your DH could skim the book for you for some things to try? I wonder if there is maybe a checklist or something in there with ideas? IDK. It has been too long since I have read it to remember some things to try. Maybe someone who has read it more recently can give you some ideas? I am really hoping you get some relief soon. :grouphug:

[Kathleen in VA]

Three things. If you give up coffee be prepared to have a headache the day of or the day following. I get a killer headache if I don't get just my one cup of coffee, but that's it. After that, it's over. I've heard some people don't have any withdrawal effects, especially those who only have one or two cups a day - but I did so just wanted to give you the heads up.

 

Also, my first was like that. I think I stayed in my pajamas for a year after he was born. I was neurotic, sleep-deprived, practically insane!!! He was and still is my easiest child. I've seen other posters say a similar thing and it sure makes me wonder what's up with that, but just sharing my experience to give you a little more hope.

 

And, finally, do not feel guilty for feeling this way. Of course you feel this way. You are beyond exhausted, stretched in every way imaginable. Your feelings are perfectly understandable. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep on swimming. You can only do what you can do. Try not to have unrealistic expectations about the state of your housekeeping and what you are getting done in school. There will be time later to catch up on that - really. This is just a season (although I know it seems like it will never end) and when you're on the other side and feeling more rested and sane, regroup and work on catching up.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: and prayers, too.

[Parker Martin]

Our second was like this from the beginning. Bought The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD (not book.) Learned the soothing techniques in it. Different baby.

 

Ours would only sleep tightly swaddled in a baby swing set on high. :tongue_smilie:

[2squared]

:grouphug: I was in nearly the same place with #4 and #5. My sanity took a serious toll, and I am still recovering.

[learningmama]

Lots of :grouphug:. My kids were both very difficult as babies. Each in their own way. It was rough. They are better now as 6 and 7-year-olds, but still very intense.

[gardenmom5]

Are you nursing? is the baby reacting to anything you are eating? have you kept a food diary of what you eat?

is the baby getting a bottle?

what solids is the baby getting?

 

It honestly sounds like a food intolerance. wish I'd know about them a few years ago. casein, gluten, yeast, and soy are big culprets, (but NOT the only ones) and it only takes one being intolerant to make an unhappy baby. casein and soy have a similar protein chain, so intolerance to one often leads to intolerance to both.

 

:grouphug:

[Thea]

This was my youngest (the poster child for birth control). You have my sympathy. She was NEVER on any schedule and fussed and screamed for hours on end. I didn't like her for a long time, HOWEVER, once she started moving, she was a different baby. It was like a light switch. I swear she was just p**sed off that she couldn't go where she wanted and couldn't communicate.

 

It's hard, hard, hard. I wish I had some advice that would help you NOW. All I *do* have is a delightful 12 year old. I actually like her now. A lot. :)

[pink&bluemommy]

Sounds like my 2.5 year old. HOnestly he is still pretty bad. Tantrums frequently. VERY MUCH DISLIKES daddy if I am around. Behaves tolerably with daddy if I leave. Honestly I have to get out without him frequently cause the leg hugging just drives me crazy! I feel like I have missed out on a lot with this baby, but am too afraid to have another cause he was so high needs (and still is). I keep hoping it ends soon!

[sassenach]

He sounds just like my ds9. He was just a cranky, intense baby. He got much better when he started walking, then even better when he started talking. He's just a high strung kid in general, so I think being trapped in a baby body was just terribly frustrating for him. He is actually my kid who gets easier to parent every year. He's also my SUPER high energy kid. He swims for an hour and a half a day and still has plenty of energy to spare. He was no fun as a baby. My dh drives me crazy, because he doesn't remember ds's crankiness at all. I have to point it out on home videos to prove it.

 

For my kid, his crankiness had nothing to do with food tolerances. It was purely personality.

[plain jane]

He sounds just like my ds9. He was just a cranky, intense baby. He got much better when he started walking, then even better when he started talking. He's just a high strung kid in general, so I think being trapped in a baby body was just terribly frustrating for him. He is actually my kid who gets easier to parent every year. He's also my SUPER high energy kid. He swims for an hour and a half a day and still has plenty of energy to spare. He was no fun as a baby. My dh drives me crazy, because he doesn't remember ds's crankiness at all. I have to point it out on home videos to prove it.

 

For my kid, his crankiness had nothing to do with food tolerances. It was purely personality.

 

I'm leaning more towards this with mine, but I don't know for sure. I do know that this child always wants what is out of reach, be that a toy across the room, or the drink in my hand. Never content for long with the status quo. :glare: The most yelling occurs when trying to crawl but being unable to. I can totally relate to the sentiment of being trapped in a baby's body. Sounds totally like how mine feels. :lol:

[sassenach]

I'm leaning more towards this with mine, but I don't know for sure. I do know that this child always wants what is out of reach, be that a toy across the room, or the drink in my hand. Never content for long with the status quo. :glare: The most yelling occurs when trying to crawl but being unable to. I can totally relate to the sentiment of being trapped in a baby's body. Sounds totally like how mine feels. :lol:

 

My ds 11 is severely disabled and cannot independently move himself at all. Many, MANY times, I have been grateful that ds11 has my brother's easy going personality and not ds9/dh's intense personalities. Ds9 would have been miserable in ds11's body.

 

Word to the wise, start baby proofing now. My war stories from the toddler years include him climbing out windows (and boosting his little sister out with him), letting himself out the front door at 6am and walking down the street (at 15months old), and various other destruction. We ended up with locks on every possible door, fridge, oven, and after the 6 am incident, a double keyed deadbolt. It felt like Fort Knox for a couple of years.

[bookfiend]

Ped and chiro both say baby checks out fine. I don't know anymore. :confused:

 

I have to revisit the allergy stuff. This would be the first time one of mine has reacted while I'm nursing. I'm completely off dairy, and consequently all processed foods but perhaps I need to start thinking of ditching gluten. I can't think of what else it could be. I need to eat too. :tongue_smilie:

 

Before giving up gluten, try eliminating the calciferous veggies and cukes.

[DawnM]

My oldest was like this. He never napped. They really had a hard time with him in daycare. He would stand up in his bed/cot and look around an yell, "Wake up everybody, I want someone to play with!"

 

They had rules about no pacifiers or toys in the cots for nap time. They finally relented and let my son have them because they were the only things that would calm him down and not make him wake up others.

 

He would do the same thing at 2 and 3 am. He would get up, go into the living room and yell, "I'm all alone in here!"

 

When we was an infant/baby we co-slept because none of us would get sleep if we didn't.

 

He wanted to be held constantly. It was exhausting.

 

Now he is almost 14 and has been diagnosed with Asperger's. I don't know if this is typical of Aspie kids, but I can tell you that number 2 was a dream in comparison.

 

In fact, he is still a dream in comparison. Sigh (and don't tell oldest I said so.)

 

Dawn

[catz]

He sounds just like my ds9. He was just a cranky, intense baby. He got much better when he started walking, then even better when he started talking. He's just a high strung kid in general, so I think being trapped in a baby body was just terribly frustrating for him. He is actually my kid who gets easier to parent every year. He's also my SUPER high energy kid. He swims for an hour and a half a day and still has plenty of energy to spare. He was no fun as a baby. My dh drives me crazy, because he doesn't remember ds's crankiness at all. I have to point it out on home videos to prove it.

 

For my kid, his crankiness had nothing to do with food tolerances. It was purely personality.

 

:iagree: Oooo ... this sounds like my oldest. We was bitter until mobility and language started to kick in. I think my younger would have been this way too, but got some additional stimulation from having a high energy big brother. I did have to hold her constantly though and she was SO sensitive. My kids do SO many activities and really it's the only way we can stay sane and homeschool. They need a bunch on their plate and mind to be happy. My oldest rarely napped and was done with any kind of napping by age 2 (even in the car). But honestly, my oldest is SUPER easy to parent now as long as he has enough social and activity going on.

[Paige]

:grouphug: I had one like that except he had colic too. Thank goodness he was my first or I would have lost my mind. I seriously think I have some PTSD from his infancy. In hindsight, I think he had reflux. He spit up a ton but I didn't get the connection. My youngest had silent reflux and was an angel once medicated because I recognized the signs from my two projectile refluxers. I think DS probably had very bad reflux but mostly silent. Have you looked into that? I also think DS may have restless leg syndrome or some kind of sleep disorder. He had to be swaddled and once he outgrew that I had to physically restrain his limbs before he would fall to sleep and it still took hours. I would recommend melatonin for a 3 or 4 yr old but I don't know what to do with an infant like that other than swaddling. Maybe you could get a giant swaddling blanket or one of those weighted blankets. You may also want to try a good carrier if you don't have one. If you can't get baby to settle without you, just strap her on and go about your business. I used a pouch or a wrap with my littlest and think my oldest one would have benefited from it. We had a different one that he didn't like but it was more of the backpack/frontpack type. I think he would have been happy with the pouch because it holds them tighter and closer. And sometimes, it's really ok to just walk away. It's not crying it out if your goal is to just get some sanity for a few minutes rather than train your baby. It's just life and sometimes baby has to wait a bit while Mommy gets a nice, hot shower alone. :grouphug:

[ChrisB]

If you want to visit food intolerances while breastfeeding, I've had two who couldn't handle dairy, one who went nuts on nitrates/nitrites (think deli meat, sausages, bacon, processed meats), one who couldn't handle onions, chocolate, and something else I can't remember...:tongue_smilie: To this day, the one who couldn't handle the nitrates still can't and gets really angry when he has them. It takes 3 days to work out of his system.

 

Pamela's cookies that are gluten free and may contain traces of milk. There are eggs in it. She has other products that might satisfy your sweet tooth if needed.

 

eta: My twins were mostly this way. Let's just say that the first 13 months were very trying...

Edited December 14, 2011 by ChrisB

[Sugarfoot]

:grouphug: Nearly everything you wrote described 2 of my 4. They are my 2 with sensory issues and are my VERY intense kids. ;) They're also my lefties, so DH says they're ALL mine... Anyway, they were also the 2 who, once they got a chance to experience it, really preferred to sleep alone. They were still fussy, intense, needy, etc, etc, etc, but I was able to get a little bit of sound sleep in between their needs, which really helped. Just a thought...

 

I'm sorry, I know how hard it is... :grouphug:

[Upward Journey]

How long do I have to give it up for to know if it's the caffeine? Is it a matter of days or weeks? I need to know what I'm getting into here. :lol::lol:

 

I'm trying to remember, but this particular child is now 10yo so it's been a while, lol. I'm thinking that it was w/in a day or two, though. Definetly NOT weeks.

 

Hope you find the trigger soon and are able to get some rest. :)

[ChrisB]

I'm trying to remember, but this particular child is now 10yo so it's been a while, lol. I'm thinking that it was w/in a day or two, though. Definetly NOT weeks.

 

Hope you find the trigger soon and are able to get some rest. :)

:iagree:I think this is true for most foods except dairy and wheat/gluten.