DC different ages but same size in clothes. WWYD?

[JeneralMom]

When my DD5 was born she was above average height but after she weaned she stopped growing, her hair started falling out, her stomach bloated and a few other issues. She dropped down to the 3rd percentile for height. When the dr discovered my gluten intolerance, he and I put two-and-two together and realized she had it also. Since taking the gluten out of her diet in Oct 2010, she has grown, her hair is full again and most of her symptoms are gone. She has rebounded her growth up into the 55th percentile (I had to measure them for passport applications so this is why I know their current percentiles.)

 

My DD2 is and always has been very tall. She is only 2 inches shorter than DD5 (97th percentile). She is wearing 3T clothes right now, but they are, honestly, too short. DD5 is in 4T and they fit her just fine. DD2 really needs to be bumped up to the 4T but I don't want DD5 to feel bad that her baby sister is the same size (DD5 was teased for being so small at the park once - she was told she wasn't allowed to play with the other girls because she was so short - that little girl was a one-time-only park visitor thank goodness, and has been sensitive about it since.)

 

Would you just bump DD2 up to the 4T and let them share, or would you bump DD5 up to 5T even though they would be big on her? They don't mind sharing play clothes but I am not sure if they would mind sharing clothes. I do not have a sister, but I have heard from friends and my DH (about his sisters) that sharing clothes is a point of huge contention between sisters (I know my nieces fight like demons if one of them wears the others' clothes). Would making them share just be setting up nasty situation?

 

We are not in a financial position to buy DD2 a whole new 4T wardrobe for herself.

[MeaganS]

I'd put them in the sizes they fit and not worry about it too much. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or anything either. But this may be a problem for a while, and I it seems like it is just one of those fact-of-life kind of things.

[AK_Mom4]

My older THREE kids (all 2 years apart) went thru a period where everyone was wearing the same size (a 6x, I think). I laughed and had them all share clothes (except for DD's dresses from Grandma). The kids didn't care - we just kept everything in a laundry basket at the top of the stairs and they grabbed clothes on their way by. It was winter and everyone was wearing sweats/jeans/sweat shirts then anyway.

 

It lasted about 6 months before the older two hit growth spurts, but it was nice while it lasted!

 

ETA: my boys are the same size now (ages 20 and 16) and share clothes when DS20 is home from school. No big deal. DD17 borrows my stuff on occasion. Around here, it's no big deal.

[regentrude]

I think each child should be able to wear clothes that fits her, whether they are the same size as a sibling or not.

You do not have to get a "whole wardrobe" for the younger one - but I would make sure to get her a coulple of shirts and pants that are *hers*, and I would make sure each child has a "special" outfit for herself. Other than that, they can share, I would not make it a big deal.

But they might be the same size for the forseeable future, so I would not force one to wear clothes that are too small or too large. Most likely they won't care. If they do, they have to learn to deal with it.

[bluemongoose]

If I was really worried about them fighting, and I had the 5T size already, I might put the older DD in the clothes if they were only slightly big on her. If she was swimming in them, I would not.

 

If I had to put them both in the same size, I would try it and see if they fought about it. If they did, I would let big sis decide which items she wanted to be just hers and which she could share/lend to little sis. After all, they are her clothes.

[Guest submarines]

I'd put them in the sizes they fit and not worry about it too much. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or anything either. But this may be a problem for a while, and I it seems like it is just one of those fact-of-life kind of things.

 

:iagree: They could have been almost the same size even if there was no growth issues. I have a friend whose 6 yo is only a few inches taller than his 3.5 year old sister (she is *very* tall, and he is shorter than most 6 yo's, not sure what percentile, but the doctor told my friend he was within normal).

 

I don't think you need to make them share clothes--they can have their own, even if the clothes are technically the same size. You will see as the time goes on whether the older sister is sensitive about the size.

 

I know my friend's son is very proud to share his clothes with his sister. Go figure. (I've seen her wearing his spiderman t-shirts, and he told me that he shared. He was beaming. :D)

 

:grouphug:

[gardenmom5]

Would you just bump DD2 up to the 4T and let them share, or would you bump DD5 up to 5T even though they would be big on her? .

 

I would just bump 2dd up to the size that *fits* her - why are you making this about 1dd's "feelings" because her sister will be the same size? some kids are tall, some kids are short. (I have three dc, including a dd, who are INCHES taller than my husband.). I think it would also have a negative affect for her to be wearing clothes that are too big.

 

children's consignment shops are a great place to get children's used clothing. You might want to check if there are any in your area.

[Tammyla]

Remove the tags and let them wear what fits.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Two of my boys were the exact same size for 12 years! They had their own coats and shoes and a few favorite items, but they shared everything else.

 

For girls, who would probably care much more than my boys did, I would try to differentiate by style or color.

 

Children should wear clothes that fit. Nobody should wear baggy or tight clothing just to pretend they aren't the same size as a sibling.

[JudoMom]

Ds12 wears a size smaller than ds11. There is a good chance that at some point ds9 will pass up ds12, too. Ds6 will pass ds7 up sometime, probably sooner rather than later. It's a fact, and it can be painful (there were quiet tears when the oldest was passed up by his younger brother). But it is what it is, and there's no way to change it. Ds11 has learned not to make a big deal out of it, and has learned to graciously correct people when they assume he's older.

 

All this to say, have them wear the clothes that fit.

[PeacefulChaos]

I would just put them in what fit them.

My boys are closer in age than your girls are, but DS6 weighs more than DS7, and they wear the same size in shirts in particular. They think it's cool that they can share clothes. Of course, they are boys, but I don't know that it would be a big deal for girls, either, if you don't make it one. :)

Most of the girls I know with sisters never minded sharing clothes. As long as they took care of them, most of them saw it as the opportunity to have an expanded wardrobe. ;) Which is how I would feel about it, as well!

[itsheresomewhere]

I would just let them share the clothes. But what about for christmas buying them each separate outfit that is just for them. Put the child's initials on the tags. That way each of your DD's have a set of clothes just for them.

[SunD]

I wouldn't have wanted to wear clothes that were too big. That would have just confirmed my feelings of being "too small". I'm even too small for my clothes! KWIM?

 

I would buy enough at a thrift store (she'll be wearing "used clothing" if you move her into big sister's old stuff anyway) to add to what you already have and make two sets. Let them each choose their favorites from the "new" and the "old" clothes, and divide everything.

[2squared]

My oldest three wear the same size shoe. They share without any issues. We don't make a big deal out of it. It just is the way it is.

 

The boys like to share their clothes. Maybe your daughters will enjoy sharing?

[happypamama]

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but having been the tiny sibling who was eventually outgrown, I do know that I was a little sensitive to it. After all, I WAS two years older than my brother, darnit! (Now, we all laugh about it; I'm the oldest of four, and they're all taller than I am.) So I do see why you'd not want them to be pointedly sharing clothes.

 

Can you alter 5Ts to make them fit your older DD (take in waists a bit)? Can you put one of them in dresses, so that it wasn't the same set of clothing?

[Susan in TN]

Go insane.

 

3 of mine - 2 girls and 1 boy, all wear the same or nearly the same sizes. Drives me nuts trying to get them to pay attention to WHOSE clothing they are putting on.

 

Next season I am getting each of them clothes in only one color. Surely they can't mess that up?

[Punks in Ontario]

I have 4 boys and 2 sizes around here. The olders have all their own clothes. The youngers also have mostly their own clothes too, but there is some sharing esp. shirts and pants. I label the items that are important with Y and YY (male chromosomes) The younger gets the extra Y. With the guys I rarely hear of problems, although the older get a bit annoyed if things get mixed up. Usually it's because one guys clothes got put in the other's closet and just left there. Just today I found about 4 items in the wrong closet.:tongue_smilie:

[Wabi Sabi]

Put them in whatever fits them each best. It doesn't make sense to make your older dd wear too big, baggy clothes in order to spare her feelings. If anything, it will have the opposite effect. No one feels their best in ill-fitting clothing.

 

Frankly, my kids would LOVE to share clothes and they're opposite genders, LOL. Sure would make life easier all the way around.

[Guest]

I think each child should be able to wear clothes that fits her, whether they are the same size as a sibling or not.

You do not have to get a "whole wardrobe" for the younger one - but I would make sure to get her a coulple of shirts and pants that are *hers*, and I would make sure each child has a "special" outfit for herself. Other than that, they can share, I would not make it a big deal.

But they might be the same size for the forseeable future, so I would not force one to wear clothes that are too small or too large. Most likely they won't care. If they do, they have to learn to deal with it.

 

 

I agree with everything you said, especially the bolded part.

[Guest]

I would just bump 2dd up to the size that *fits* her - why are you making this about 1dd's "feelings" because her sister will be the same size? some kids are tall, some kids are short. (I have three dc, including a dd, who are INCHES taller than my husband.). I think it would also have a negative affect for her to be wearing clothes that are too big.

 

children's consignment shops are a great place to get children's used clothing. You might want to check if there are any in your area.

 

Exactly. My dd (8) is now one inch taller than ds (10). When the nurse told us I giggled a funny way which made ds laugh and that was it. No biggie.

[eternalknot]

I have three boys that wear the same size clothes; each has a few things that are distinctly theirs, but for the most part it's a free-for-all and everyone shares. It's only an issue when I say put the clothes away, and suddenly all of the shirts belong to another boy LOL. They don't care.

 

I didn't care that I had to share clothes with my siblings (I'm an older girl, but also the smallest girl so I got hand-me-downs from younger siblings. Heck, I still do!). I wonder if the things you're hearing from DH et al is more reflective of the females' general personalities and relationship, of which sharing clothes is just one small part - kwim? Besides, I think marketing a situation can severely affect how others take it; I love that my sisters and I have a greater pool from which to draw :) when we were kids, we each had a few things that were just ours and in general that was shared but favored by one of us tended to naturally become "ours" even though it was technically shared. We had good relationships, though, and generally agreeable personalities.

 

Can you use a marker to initial each one's clothes, even if they're the same size? If it's a matter of your one DD feeling self-conscious about her size, that's an issue to be tackled separately IMO. It's a valid concern, and one I understand first-hand! I'm shorter than my mom and my 90 year old hunched-over grandmother, and my siblings are all 5-14" taller than I am. It's an issue that requires maturity to fully accept, but in the meanwhile you can find ways to be respectful of her feelings without hindering her because of them. I think to do anything other than suggest they wear clothes that fit might FEEL like the right way to be sensitive to her feelings, but I suspect that pushing kids into incorrect sizing would only do more to suggest there really is something for her to feel self-conscious about. I'm not sure if that makes sense? It seems to keep the focus on the tangible issue (sizing) rather than the internal one (self-acceptance), IMO/IME. The last thing we want to do with any child, but especially one struggling to accept her size, is to place undue priority on what the tag says (size). Besides, labels and brands differ.

 

Do your girls share a closet?

[*********]

I'd put them in the sizes they fit and not worry about it too much. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or anything either. But this may be a problem for a while, and I it seems like it is just one of those fact-of-life kind of things.

 

Ayup.

 

In fact, I kinda did something different in regards to hand-me-downs for the boys. Since each boy tends to look up to the big brother(s), it made it a 'Oh neat, guess who used to wear that sweater! Yep, big brother! And now you get to wear it too! Boy, you sure are getting big like big brother, blah blah blah' It works quite well. :D Don't know how it'd work with girls however.

[*********]

Same here!

 

But I dunno, are girls really so difficult? I don't recall being so difficult. ;)

 

I know, I was gonna say, me and my three sisters certainly ddn't ever give my folks any grief about anything. :001_huh: :tongue_smilie:

 

You know, two of my sisters are really close in age to me, and I do seem to recall that we were real territorial about our clothing. But then, my parents brought us up differently than dh and I are doing with the boys. We really emphasize good sibling relationships, whereas my parents just didn't want to be able to hear us arguing. :D

[JeneralMom]

I guess maybe people who had good experiences sharing clothes just don't talk about it. For Dh, his sisters were 10 and 11 years older than him, but were just 13 months apart from each other. They were vastly different sizes (5ft and larger, and 5'9" and lean) but constantly took each other's clothes and fought about it. I have never experienced my nieces fighting, but my mum (who lived with them for almost a year) said that they would freak out if they saw someone else wearing what was bought for them or what they had bought for themselves (they are 21yo, 19yo and 16yo) - she said the vitriol they would hurl at each other was just jaw dropping.

 

I just talked to DD5 and explained the situation. She is actually totally okay with sharing as long as DD2 doesn't touch the things she just got for her b-day. I asked her if she would like to move some 4T things into my closet (which is where DD2's clothes are now) but she wants to just share the closet too. I explained that we would designate the smaller 4T clothes just for DD2 and that I would go through the 5T bucket and see what was smaller and would add it to the closet just for DD5.

 

(the boys said they wouldn't care about sharing either, but I always knew they wouldn't care)

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I would let them both wear the same size and not make a big deal about it. My two girls are almost 3.5 years apart and about 2 sizes apart. Honestly, I'm sure they would love if they wore the same size and could share clothes. They do occasionally wear each other's clothes even though they are too big or too small.

[Iucounu]

You could alternate naked days. Trying to think outside of the box here.

[Splinter]

My three younger kids all pretty much wear the same size. They're almost 5, 6 and almost 8. They don't share clothes (except socks), but that's mostly because one is a girl and the other two like completely different types of clothes.

 

I'd dress them in whatever size fits, and just make sure that your older daughter's clothes don't look babyish.

[justamouse]

My twins wear the same size, and they share much of the clothes, but they have a few items that are theirs alone-things that suit thier personal style.

[silliness7]

When my DD5 was born she was above average height but after she weaned she stopped growing, her hair started falling out, her stomach bloated and a few other issues. She dropped down to the 3rd percentile for height. When the dr discovered my gluten intolerance, he and I put two-and-two together and realized she had it also. Since taking the gluten out of her diet in Oct 2010, she has grown, her hair is full again and most of her symptoms are gone. She has rebounded her growth up into the 55th percentile (I had to measure them for passport applications so this is why I know their current percentiles.)

 

My DD2 is and always has been very tall. She is only 2 inches shorter than DD5 (97th percentile). She is wearing 3T clothes right now, but they are, honestly, too short. DD5 is in 4T and they fit her just fine. DD2 really needs to be bumped up to the 4T but I don't want DD5 to feel bad that her baby sister is the same size (DD5 was teased for being so small at the park once - she was told she wasn't allowed to play with the other girls because she was so short - that little girl was a one-time-only park visitor thank goodness, and has been sensitive about it since.)

 

Would you just bump DD2 up to the 4T and let them share, or would you bump DD5 up to 5T even though they would be big on her? They don't mind sharing play clothes but I am not sure if they would mind sharing clothes. I do not have a sister, but I have heard from friends and my DH (about his sisters) that sharing clothes is a point of huge contention between sisters (I know my nieces fight like demons if one of them wears the others' clothes). Would making them share just be setting up nasty situation?

 

We are not in a financial position to buy DD2 a whole new 4T wardrobe for herself.

 

I would get your dd2 the clothes that fit her and same for dd1. But I would not make them share. Shop thrift stores and garages sales if need be.

[Aubrey]

My bigs wear one size, & my littles wear another. They're b/g. Boy is older in the bigs, younger in the littles. None of them seems to care. The older 2 don't wear ea others' clothes, but I think that's probably because they've got plenty & it hasn't occurred to them.

 

The littles...sort-of object to wearing ea others' clothes, but mainly just because they're b/g. At their age, they think it's kind-of fun to be the same size. 3yo thinks he's gotten a promotion & is really 4yo because he wears a 4 (now that we've convinced him he doesn't wear a 3); 4yo just likes to talk about stuff. So she's happy w/ any topic, incl clothing sizes. LOL

[Mandamom]

My 2 girls wear mostly the same clothes. They are 19 months apart and although the older one is taller they are both thin.

 

I draw the line when my 11 year old decides to wear ds5's clothes. She can actually wear a couple of his shorts. :tongue_smilie:

[Embassy]

My boys are 2 years apart and have worn the same size for years now. They have a few things that are specifically theirs, but mostly they share everything.

[AdventureMoms]

I suspect we'll be in that position sooner rather than later. My girl is 3yo and on the big side (60-75th percentile) but my boys are ENORMOUS (98th+ percentile). Right now in spite of a 2.5 year age gap they are only about 1.5 sizes apart (she is in 4T at 3yo, the boys are outgrowing their 2T's at 1yo). I'm sure the boys will slow down, but I'm also sure they will overtake her eventually. I actually think it would be fun to have all three in the same size. Except DD would try to dress the boys in her dresses. But that's not an issue if you have two girls, at least! I do buy a lot of "boy" clothes for DD (cargo pants, t-shirts, hoodies, sweats) so she can pass them down.

[Ester Maria]

I'd put them in the sizes they fit and not worry about it too much. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or anything either. But this may be a problem for a while, and I it seems like it is just one of those fact-of-life kind of things.

I agree.

 

I do think it would be extremely beneficial for each girl to have some of "her" clothes to continue to feel special and that they have something of their own, but if they get to share a part of the wardrobe because you do not have the financial means to provide each a full wardrobe of her own (or because it is plainly unnecessarily), oh well, they will survive, not the first and definitely not the last who were in such a situation. ;) My gut opinion is that the less you make it an issue, the less of an issue it will be.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I'd put them in the sizes they fit and not worry about it too much. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or anything either. But this may be a problem for a while, and I it seems like it is just one of those fact-of-life kind of things.

:iagree: