OK, it's official, I need some HS advice. Thinking about eschool...

[radiobrain]

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

Here is my thinking.

 

OK, so my boys are 13 & 11. They are very, very bright but have the typical motivation, follow-through, output problem. As I am burned out right now, and they know it, they are able to easily derail me and make me discouraged and we'll stop for the day.

 

I have been considering doing an eschool. My issues about it are weird though. I want them to be accountable to someone else, but what if they aren't? What if they don't do that stuff either? I mean, I pick some pretty great subjects and programs, and the idea of the busywork they would need to do seems counterproductive to me. I know that my stuff is better, but if they aren't doing it, does it matter? If I go this way, my husband will want me to stick to it for the year, I would assume.

 

SO looking at these pros/cons, and options, what do you think I should do? Poll to follow.

 

You all know the pros to my homeschooling. I won't bother with that. ;)

 

Pros to eschool

FREE, will also help pay for some outside activities we do (like fencing).

I don't have to be so involved

Kids accountable to someone else

 

Cons to eschool

No say in curricular content

set amount of work must be done in a certain time frame (this could go under a pro too!LOL)

My kids are "in the system"

It feels kind of gross to me. :tongue_smilie:

 

Option #3

Come up with some amazing system that helps me be the uber HS mom of my dreams.

 

Also, there are several on-line options. I can go with one of many random state digital charter schools, or the new one that my school district set up. I think that I can make my district be more flexible, but I would rather not have them keeping any info on my kids. Am I too paranoid? I do plan on enrolling at some point in high school (for 1 year, maybe 2) to take advantage of the flex credit/PSEO options, but I fear that if I start too early the things I'd like to do in the future might be screwed up. But again, if I am not able to get them to do very much... isn't that also screwing up?

 

Oh, and did I mention that we are practically broke? And that I am a procrastinator, and generally not good at putting my foot down about things? I am also afraid that my stance on Home education is clouding my judgment.

 

ARG!!!!

 

 

Any advice, wisdom, hugs appreciated!

Edited November 26, 2011 by radiobrain

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: IDK. I hate being told what to do. My son is not the most motivated student, but I set the boundaries, kwim. I can see if we did an e-school then I'd be the one nagging him about doing the work. Then I'd have a chip on my shoulder because I didn't agree with the assignment. Looking at my situation I don't think an e-school would improve morale and work ethic for anyone, it'd probably make the burn out worse.

 

Public or private school would be the same thing, but it might improve attitudes to just be away from each other for a bit. But then there is the school to deal with...

 

In your case I'd be tempted to make some drastic changes until the end of the calendar year. Maybe dump everything but the basics, dump everything and do a long unit study, dump everything and bake cookies all day.

 

In our case though, we've made the decision to homeschool through high school. So when something is really wrong we have to find a way to work through it.

[radiobrain]

I really appreciate your response. :D

 

You make a lot of good points. I am actually, totally on board with all your statements. I think that's why I need some outside advice, to see if I am going in the right direction, or just wack-a-doodle.

 

FYI, a brick and mortar school is NOT an option.

 

When I say that I will enroll them for 1-2 years in high school, I mean that I will enroll in the school districts digital academy and my kids will take a few college classes, and as I will be able to flex-credit a bunch of stuff, might only take one or two online classes. Even then, I think that I can get them to let me choose where those classes come from.

[elegantlion]

I really appreciate your response. :D

 

You make a lot of good points. I am actually, totally on board with all your statements. I think that's why I need some outside advice, to see if I am going in the right direction, or just wack-a-doodle.

 

FYI, a brick and mortar school is NOT an option.

 

When I say that I will enroll them for 1-2 years in high school, I mean that I will enroll in the school districts digital academy and my kids will take a few college classes, and as I will be able to flex-credit a bunch of stuff, might only take one or two online classes. Even then, I think that I can get them to let me choose where those classes come from.

 

In that case I would find a way to work with them now, doing what you're already doing. Protecting the relationship would be first priority to me.

[KungFuPanda]

We started a co-op last year, so this year for 9th grade, dd has 'other' teachers for 4 high school classes. It's been a refreshing change of pace for us. We still do a few subjects together and she can drag her feet with me, but the other teachers never see this and report that she's a model citizen.

 

I say give it a try for a set amount of time. If it doesn't work, you'll know and can try something else.

[Night Elf]

So sorry it feels gross to you. I think that answers your question actually. If you have such strong negative feelings about it before you even begin, you'll always be on the lookout for reasons you don't like it once you've started which will justify you stopping. just IMHO.

 

I use an online program, but it's not free. My children and I were in a similar situation. None of us felt motivated to get anything done because there was no accountability. We made the switch several years ago to using an online program and it has been exactly what was needed. Yes, we've complained about some of the work because there certainly is busy work involved, but we've never NOT done the work. There is too much at stake. It got even more serious when the kids began high school work. What they are doing is a permanent grade on their transcripts. There is no room for screwing around. So yes, it has been good for us. It was an extremely good decision. But YMMV.

[radiobrain]

So sorry it feels gross to you. I think that answers your question actually. If you have such strong negative feelings about it before you even begin, you'll always be on the lookout for reasons you don't like it once you've started which will justify you stopping. just IMHO.

 

I use an online program, but it's not free. My children and I were in a similar situation. None of us felt motivated to get anything done because there was no accountability. We made the switch several years ago to using an online program and it has been exactly what was needed. Yes, we've complained about some of the work because there certainly is busy work involved, but we've never NOT done the work. There is too much at stake. It got even more serious when the kids began high school work. What they are doing is a permanent grade on their transcripts. There is no room for screwing around. So yes, it has been good for us. It was an extremely good decision. But YMMV.

 

I am not totally adverse to it, I think I was trying (lamely) to be funny.

 

See, here you go. This is the other side of the coin. Who is to say that we won't have the same experience as you? This is what I am trying to wrap my head around. I flip flop between the pros & cons of the eschool and my home school.

 

Curious, which school do you use? I can put that in my hopper. :001_huh:

[Ellie]

:grouphug:

 

I feel your pain...but stick to your guns. You can do it. Lots of us have done it before you and lived to tell about it. :D

 

Community college might be an option for your dc at some point.

[Farrar]

I also have the gut reaction that eschools are yucky. I wouldn't do it, personally.

[oldskool]

I am not totally adverse to it, I think I was trying (lamely) to be funny.

 

See, here you go. This is the other side of the coin. Who is to say that we won't have the same experience as you? This is what I am trying to wrap my head around. I flip flop between the pros & cons of the eschool and my home school.

 

Curious, which school do you use? I can put that in my hopper. :001_huh:

 

I understood what you were saying with that. We are in the middle of similar issues. Not easy decisions, but ps would likely not solve anything for us either. We have thought about online school too. And no great advice since I am in the thick of it.:grouphug:

 

You may want to read my thread on the high school board "ninth grade disaster". There is a lot of very good advice that has already been helping this week. I actually have hope that things are looking up.

 

Lesley

[Amy in NH]

As I am burned out right now

 

Maybe they are too?

 

Our state public online charter school allows part time attendance, which has been a great way for my kids to try out a couple of courses offered by someone else with accountability attached. Maybe yours could do 1 online class so that you can all see if it fits?

Edited November 26, 2011 by Amy in NH

[Pamela H in Texas]

We used the cyber public school for 7th and part of eighth. It was the best thing we've done. Our reason was no longer the reason so we went back to homeschooling. Honestly, with that kid, I should have stuck with the cyber school.

 

By the way, we had an hourly requirement which we abided by strictly though we may have been the only ones to do so. That gave me plenty of time to add in things I wanted for him as well as a decent core curriculum from the program.

[OLG]

Well, it sounds like it time to mix it up a little but NOT to do a cyber school. Boys at this age are trying but they can be managed (tricked:001_smile:). Agree with the PP that searching for one outside class on anything that would ease them in to accountability to others would be a great idea. Might also suggest taht you allow each to pick one special course/class that they would like to do and work with you on finding out how to get it done. Mix up the school day too and rearrange to get the tougher stuff done early. Remember, YOU are in charge here and try to let go of the normal tendency to try to make this all pleasant for them! It's that tug-o-war between Mom and teacher, I think, that burns us out. Don't worry, this too shall pass. Each 'phase' requires tweaking. It's normal! Good luck.

[AK_Mom4]

Well, it sounds like it time to mix it up a little but NOT to do a cyber school. Boys at this age are trying but they can be managed (tricked:001_smile:). Agree with the PP that searching for one outside class on anything that would ease them in to accountability to others would be a great idea. Might also suggest taht you allow each to pick one special course/class that they would like to do and work with you on finding out how to get it done. Mix up the school day too and rearrange to get the tougher stuff done early. Remember, YOU are in charge here and try to let go of the normal tendency to try to make this all pleasant for them! It's that tug-o-war between Mom and teacher, I think, that burns us out. Don't worry, this too shall pass. Each 'phase' requires tweaking. It's normal! Good luck.

:iagree:

[Wildiris]

I picked an online high school for my 3rd child because I felt strongly that outside accountability-Mom can alway bend the rules-was more important for my child than for me clinging to my homeschool idealism. At some point I think it important to separate what I want for my kids and look deeply at what is "good" for their development as human beings. This last point is an important consideration for me.

 

With this particular kid, online school works. She has follow through, meets deadlines, and is in control of her experience. I just check in to make sure she is on track. Overall, I feel this approach is in keeping with the traditional high school experience where parents should be assuming a smaller role in their kids' lives. I use what I know as a homeschool parent to deepen her online experience, but I am not interested in controlling that experience.

 

I think you are being paranoid about the school keeping information. What's the problem here?

 

REMEMBER: Do not let your desires cloud judgment. What's the goal here?

[Denise in Florida]

Do not do it! You are still going to be the one pushing them to get the work done and assignments turned in. You will have lost autonomy but still be accountable. yeck

 

I have two hard working motivated students. They both took Latin through the virtual school because they needed an accredited language and our local community college did not offer foriegn language at the right times. They hated the online work, they did not learn any Latin and I ended up pushing them for every last assignment. :001_huh:

[Joyofsixreboot]

We went with one for my 7th grader. I don't love it but I don't hate it either. For this year it was right. Next year I don't know. I went with try it, you cam always dump it.

[radiobrain]

Well, I think I feel better that there is no one way the poll is going. It is not as cut and dried as I thought it would be, which is a good thing.

 

See, I feel like I am just not doing enough. My older son is the epitome of underachiever and has always been difficult. It would've been worse if he had gone to school, trust me. Maybe I can't get him to do any written work, but he is emotionally stable and intelligent. He can argue all the logical reasons why he shouldn't be doing what I ask. :tongue_smilie:

 

Anyway, I just don't like the way that the school system judges things- that is why I am not fond of being in their system. I have a different set of priorities, and my son thinks standardized tests are stupid (I agree with him). I also think that the general public school curriculum is sub-par, and I don't see how they can adequately gauge where he is and what he knows, KWIM? So it is not that I am scared about him being "on the radar", I just prefer to be the one who understands where he is, not a bureaucrat.

 

My other son is almost the complete opposite, but has a slow reading speed. Drives all of us nuts.

 

Anyway... I would still like some advice, but here is a new angle....

 

WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THIS WORK?

 

I am thinking that we will do our Algebra every day (it is never an issue) and keep on top of our history as it is a time-critical thing, and I will maybe do some unit studies on stuff. Should I give my kids their own personal schedule? UGH. YUCK YUCK. I hate all of this right now. I am in love with planning their next year and high school, but I just hate the day to day drudgery right now.:banghead:

[Tammyla]

I think once thing you can do right away is to let go of the dream. Try not to expect a love of learning for a while and just focus on getting the lessons done. Cut out any redundancies, and trim down to the daily must be completed lessons.

 

You can set the tone by not allowing yourself to be dragged down by their lack of enthusiasm. (Expect more as they go through the season of brain fog; heck pat yourself on the back for every effort they make.) The winter seems to intensify our angst, but I expect and try to plan for the winter blahs. In truth it isn't a great time to jump ship no matter how green the grass looks over the hill.

 

Hang in there you can do this, and if you still feel the same come February, make plans for the change then. :grouphug:

[radiobrain]

I think most of it is the age, but holey moley, give me a break.

 

I am planning on calling the local eschool this week, just to get some more info, see how flexible they are.... and am gathering more data from state eschools. UGh. See, by gathering data and all that, I am able to avoid teaching my little gremlins. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would still like some advice on some things to help me do this. Whether it be sticking with HSing and doing a bit of a modification.... or just giving in for a while. I wish I had a magic ball to see if it would work for him, or if it would just be a new set of teeth to pull.

[Miss Marple]

My advice would be to outsource a couple of the bigger courses - those that you have a harder time keeping up with. Pare your teaching back to those subjects you can do with your eyes shut. I was in this position recently. I outsourced world history. It wasn't the course I wanted, but it was something that ds enjoyed and did learn from. This year I am outsourcing foreign language - I never learned Greek and I don't have time to learn it (taking care of 2 sets of elderly parents).

 

Look at the courses you want them to take next year and see what you just really don't want to do. Then outsource that. Our state K12 program allows students to take just a couple of classes rather than do the whole curriculum. Some of the other programs are more expensive, but you may find a way to make it affordable.

 

And, take it a year at a time. Have a general plan, but don't make final decisions until necessary.

[rafiki]

.

[sagira]

Why not sign up for an online class or two to see how it would work? I'm worried we'll end up in the same place if ds is already complaining at age 8.

[Corraleno]

Hi Korin!

 

I think the answer to your question really depends on the root causes of the problems you're having. If it’s mostly a parent/child power struggle, then having outside teachers may fix the problem, but if the issue is that the boys are unmotivated and disinterested in school in general, then putting them in an even more “schooly†environment may have the opposite effect. More busywork; more testing; less challenging material; reading & writing assignments they may hate; history & science topics they may have zero interest in — those are not likely to improve their motivation and morale, kwim? And you may find that you have to do just as much reminding/nagging/arguing to get them to do the work anyway. At least with homeschooling, the work you’re nagging them to do is work you choose; nagging them to do an assignment that you agree is pointless busywork is much worse!

 

Before I'd put the boys into an eschool, I’d try to change things up at home and focus more on rekindling their love of learning. Your boys are young, you still have time to find your groove and light that fire before they hit high school. You want them to be running under their own steam by then, because trying to push/prod/drag a reluctant teen through HS work will be much harder than what you’re doing now!

 

Which courses/curricula do they hate the most? Can you drop those and cover the material in a different way (e.g., do them informally, integrate several subjects in a project-based unit, etc.)? Can you change your “output†requirements to things that are more creative and hands-on? Are they balking at covering the content, or is the problem that you’re afraid their output isn’t “traditional†enough (not writing essays, not doing spelling tests, not writing lab reports, etc.). If they actually enjoy learning but feel that “school-ifying†the process sucks all the joy out of it, then I’d sit down and really think about what your goals are, and design a program based on your end goals, rather than on someone else’s standards & benchmarks (6th graders “should†be doing X, 7th graders “must†be doing Y, etc).

 

YMMV of course, but I can tell you what’s worked with DS13, who is not only awash in pubescent hormones but who used to be a die-hard school hater and extremely reluctant reader. By allowing him to pursue his interests in Greek mythology and ancient warfare (providing him with books, documentaries, TC courses, etc.), letting him go as in-depth as he wanted and pursue any and all rabbit-trails (e.g., extended research on the Hittite and Persian empires), DS has gradually expanded into much wider-ranging areas of history, politics, philosophy, religion, and culture. He’s also developed a passion for the Greek language, which has in turn led to a strong interest in linguistics (when I woke him up this morning, the first words out of his mouth were “Did you know that Finnish has 15 cases???†lol).

 

So now, instead of a grammar text, DS has college-level books & TC courses on linguistics. For literature, he’s reading LOTR and we’re doing the plays of Aristophanes as a read aloud, with lots of cackling and discussion. Instead of a vocabulary workbook, I give him lists of English words from Greek roots relevant to the current chapter in Athenaze. Handwriting practice using colored fountain pens (fun, plus prevents DS from pressing too hard and ripping the paper) doubles as spelling work by incorporating words he’s recently misspelled. Instead of writing formulaic essays, he’s just started the One Year Adventure Novel; I like the idea of starting writing instruction with OYAN instead of essays — it’s high-interest, flexible, creative, and it does double-duty by teaching literary analysis from “the inside out.†Although DS’s “output†is not traditional, it serves the same purpose — in place of grammar worksheets, spelling tests, vocab quizzes, and five-paragraph essays, he’s doing linguistic puzzles from the Computational Linguistics Olympiad, writing a novel, and inventing a language. And instead of fighting me about doing boring worksheets, he wants to work on this stuff, even in his free time.

 

For science, he’s currently into physics (TC courses, documentaries, hands-on projects, visits to the science museum), plus lots of nature study/journaling (he spent two hours at the river today, collecting snails, planarians, and amphipods for his “ecosystem tankâ€). He also does programming, electronics, and Mindstorms with DH in the evenings. Chess and strategy-based board games take the place of “critical thinking†workbooks. Oh, and he’s finally realized that algebra really is easier and more fun than arithmetic (thank you Harold Jacobs and Ed Burger).

 

Starting with DS’s interests and then expanding those interests through connections with the wider world, jumping on opportunities for research and discussion, blurring the lines between “school†and “life,†have all contributed to a total turn-around in DS’s attitude. And since we’re now on the same team, we’ve eliminated 99% of the battles over “schoolwork.†Even DD9, who doesn’t “need†this kind of approach, has totally blossomed. Both kids are engaged, motivated, and working hard without any nagging/pleading/cajoling on my part.

 

I would really encourage you not to give up the dream — you can have the kind of homeschool you want. Your boys can have the kind of homeschool they want, too; you guys just need to find the goals that you have in common and work towards those. And if the path you take to get there doesn’t look like anyone else’s... well, so what?

 

Jackie

[Capt_Uhura]

Jackie - Thank you for posting. Your posts always make me stop and reflect.

[radiobrain]

Jackie!

 

Thank you!! I think I needed your post.

 

I am trying to change it up, but there are two big issues...one is my husband's expectations and my son's apparent lack of enthusiasm for anything. Right now, I decided on a date we will officially take Christmas vacation and I need to teach a class in Jan-Feb so we will test out all my art projects in Dec. That is all we will do, and he can read all the books he wants and listen to audiobooks all day long.

 

A nice side note, that I think will influence all my decisions...Yesterday, I got his "grade" adjusted at our district (he has a mid Sept. birthday) so I bought him an extra year before official high school and was approved to be our own assessor for their whole education. That saves me stress and $$. In our state, you can do standardized tests, a portfolio review by an Ohio certified teacher or "someone else mutually agreed upon". Well, I am now the "agreed upon.":D That saves me the 40-80$ a year, for 6 years! Also, my sons can do the content but not the output of high school, and I just bought my older one one more year before having to take the PSAT. :)

 

I think I need to try to make it work. I am going to try to farm out a few things when possible, (cost is still an issue, though) and some other stuff.

 

Really, it is mostly my son. He doesn't like to do anything. Really. Not just schoolwork.....he is just not internally motivated.

[TXMomof4]

We used the state charter last year and used K12. I loved it. If you had told me two years ago that I would be "giving away my freedom and autonomy in schooling my children" I'd have called you a liar.

 

The reality was awesome. I loved K12. Loved it. It has a good, strong history program. The LA is fantastic - and very advanced compared to what they used in the PS. I had a ton of flexibility in choosing their courses. DD did history a year ahead, LA a year ahead, on grade level for math and science. The teachers they were accountable to were fantastic - not at all in your face about being the "teacher". I was the teacher, they were just there as a resource and to provide support in whatever way I needed it. The requirements weren't ridiculous and gave me the option of having someone else be the bad guy. Of course the kids had to do their math everyday - I didn't say so, the school said so. At the same time, if we had other obligations that day, we could take the time to go to art class, field trips - whatever.

 

We're actually starting back with K12 after Christmas with dd2. I had hesitated because the requirements in GA seemed much stricter than the requirements in KS, but after talking to several people, it seems like it won't be much more. The free K12 is worth it to me for this child.

 

Good luck with your decisions!

[TXMomof4]

I think most of it is the age, but holey moley, give me a break.

 

I am planning on calling the local eschool this week, just to get some more info, see how flexible they are.... and am gathering more data from state eschools. UGh. See, by gathering data and all that, I am able to avoid teaching my little gremlins. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would still like some advice on some things to help me do this. Whether it be sticking with HSing and doing a bit of a modification.... or just giving in for a while. I wish I had a magic ball to see if it would work for him, or if it would just be a new set of teeth to pull.

 

When I looked at the requirements they seemed very daunting. X number of hours per subject - the way it was presented it seemed like we HAD to be doing that # of minutes, regardless of what time the assignment actually took. The reality was that there is a time that is is assumed that the assignment will take. 1 hour for LA - that is the default time that fills in on the schedule. Some days it takes an hour, some days less, some times more. If it takes less, we go with the default time. If dd was in class and finished her work early they wouldn't make her do something else for that time, she'd sit there bored for the remainder of the time. If she needed more time, it would be brought home as homework.

 

Honestly, I've been thrilled with the flexiblity of the e-school so far. I love the accountability for me and for dd. It doesn't work for dd3, and ds is too young to have that much structured anything, IMO, right now. We'll see later.

[Tammyla]

What an excellent post, thanks.

 

Hi Korin!

 

I think the answer to your question really depends on the root causes of the problems you're having. If it’s mostly a parent/child power struggle, then having outside teachers may fix the problem, but if the issue is that the boys are unmotivated and disinterested in school in general, then putting them in an even more “schooly†environment may have the opposite effect. More busywork; more testing; less challenging material; reading & writing assignments they may hate; history & science topics they may have zero interest in — those are not likely to improve their motivation and morale, kwim? And you may find that you have to do just as much reminding/nagging/arguing to get them to do the work anyway. At least with homeschooling, the work you’re nagging them to do is work you choose; nagging them to do an assignment that you agree is pointless busywork is much worse!

 

Before I'd put the boys into an eschool, I’d try to change things up at home and focus more on rekindling their love of learning. Your boys are young, you still have time to find your groove and light that fire before they hit high school. You want them to be running under their own steam by then, because trying to push/prod/drag a reluctant teen through HS work will be much harder than what you’re doing now!

 

Which courses/curricula do they hate the most? Can you drop those and cover the material in a different way (e.g., do them informally, integrate several subjects in a project-based unit, etc.)? Can you change your “output†requirements to things that are more creative and hands-on? Are they balking at covering the content, or is the problem that you’re afraid their output isn’t “traditional†enough (not writing essays, not doing spelling tests, not writing lab reports, etc.). If they actually enjoy learning but feel that “school-ifying†the process sucks all the joy out of it, then I’d sit down and really think about what your goals are, and design a program based on your end goals, rather than on someone else’s standards & benchmarks (6th graders “should†be doing X, 7th graders “must†be doing Y, etc).

 

YMMV of course, but I can tell you what’s worked with DS13, who is not only awash in pubescent hormones but who used to be a die-hard school hater and extremely reluctant reader. By allowing him to pursue his interests in Greek mythology and ancient warfare (providing him with books, documentaries, TC courses, etc.), letting him go as in-depth as he wanted and pursue any and all rabbit-trails (e.g., extended research on the Hittite and Persian empires), DS has gradually expanded into much wider-ranging areas of history, politics, philosophy, religion, and culture. He’s also developed a passion for the Greek language, which has in turn led to a strong interest in linguistics (when I woke him up this morning, the first words out of his mouth were “Did you know that Finnish has 15 cases???†lol).

 

So now, instead of a grammar text, DS has college-level books & TC courses on linguistics. For literature, he’s reading LOTR and we’re doing the plays of Aristophanes as a read aloud, with lots of cackling and discussion. Instead of a vocabulary workbook, I give him lists of English words from Greek roots relevant to the current chapter in Athenaze. Handwriting practice using colored fountain pens (fun, plus prevents DS from pressing too hard and ripping the paper) doubles as spelling work by incorporating words he’s recently misspelled. Instead of writing formulaic essays, he’s just started the One Year Adventure Novel; I like the idea of starting writing instruction with OYAN instead of essays — it’s high-interest, flexible, creative, and it does double-duty by teaching literary analysis from “the inside out.†Although DS’s “output†is not traditional, it serves the same purpose — in place of grammar worksheets, spelling tests, vocab quizzes, and five-paragraph essays, he’s doing linguistic puzzles from the Computational Linguistics Olympiad, writing a novel, and inventing a language. And instead of fighting me about doing boring worksheets, he wants to work on this stuff, even in his free time.

 

For science, he’s currently into physics (TC courses, documentaries, hands-on projects, visits to the science museum), plus lots of nature study/journaling (he spent two hours at the river today, collecting snails, planarians, and amphipods for his “ecosystem tankâ€). He also does programming, electronics, and Mindstorms with DH in the evenings. Chess and strategy-based board games take the place of “critical thinking†workbooks. Oh, and he’s finally realized that algebra really is easier and more fun than arithmetic (thank you Harold Jacobs and Ed Burger).

 

Starting with DS’s interests and then expanding those interests through connections with the wider world, jumping on opportunities for research and discussion, blurring the lines between “school†and “life,†have all contributed to a total turn-around in DS’s attitude. And since we’re now on the same team, we’ve eliminated 99% of the battles over “schoolwork.†Even DD9, who doesn’t “need†this kind of approach, has totally blossomed. Both kids are engaged, motivated, and working hard without any nagging/pleading/cajoling on my part.

 

I would really encourage you not to give up the dream — you can have the kind of homeschool you want. Your boys can have the kind of homeschool they want, too; you guys just need to find the goals that you have in common and work towards those. And if the path you take to get there doesn’t look like anyone else’s... well, so what?

 

Jackie

[Guest]

I feel a little burned out right now, but it's because of behavior. I heard of a free satellite school that offers a very expensive curriculum for free. I am soooo tempted to try this next year. However, I don't think it will change behavior and it might make me more stressed out.

[radiobrain]

Jinnah... I think that is where I am really coming from, or going.. I feel like I can't string together a coherent thought, much less a sentence anymore!

 

TXmomof4.... I am really happy that you are so thrilled with your experience. Unfortunately, K12 is totally off our list, which is sad, as I know that they have some great curriculum. We have several eschools in the state and the one that uses k12 (or is K12) was horrid to deal with. They called within 2 minutes of my filing out a request for info form (I used our fax number) called several times a week after repeatedly telling them that I would make a decision on my own, thank you very much, and called my husband's cell phone number (during a class he was teaching) that is on our outgoing message "in an emergency please try...". It was bordering on harassment. I wrote them a pointed letter, asked them to reevaluate their marketing policy (I said I would have gone with them if they had just left me alone) and they have not called me since. My husband said we could in no way use that company.

 

Also, one of my closest friends has been using them for years and has a gazillion issues with their flexibility. I don't know if it is an OHVA specific issue or a K12 in general issue. She has been complaining that they are getting more rigid as they go along.

 

I am still a mess about the whole thing, but really, I think I need to chill. Oh, and have a bottle of wine.:cheers2:

[Corraleno]

A nice side note, that I think will influence all my decisions...Yesterday, I got his "grade" adjusted at our district (he has a mid Sept. birthday) so I bought him an extra year before official high school and was approved to be our own assessor for their whole education. That saves me stress and $$.

Yay! I did a very similar thing, and I know that getting a little extra “breathing room†like that can really help.

 

My DS repeated a grade; when he finished his second year of 3rd grade in basically the same place academically that he’d started his first year of 3rd grade, I decided it was time to homeschool. After a year of relaxed schooling, when he finally stopped thinking he was stupid and seemed to have recovered from his school experience, I started trying to get him “caught up†and back on “grade level.†Suddenly “school†went from being documentaries and nature study and experiments and read-alouds to a dozen different “subjects,†each with its own curriculum: spelling, vocabulary, grammar, writing, literature, math, history, science (with textbooks), “critical thinking†workbooks, blah blah blah. Huge mistake. HUGE.

 

At the end of that year I decided to stop trying to “catch up†and just let it count as 5th grade instead of 6th. I felt like an enormous weight had lifted off my shoulders, and that I could use the extra year to really figure out how we were going to go forward, because what I’d done the previous year (and what 2 different schools had done) clearly had not worked. Best. Decision. Ever.

 

The irony? By devoting that year to “lighting the fire†instead of trying to “fill the bucket,†he’s ended up not only back on “grade level,†but ahead of it. On his own. For fun.

 

Really, it is mostly my son. He doesn't like to do anything. Really. Not just schoolwork.....he is just not internally motivated.

Well, that’s what you can use this year for — to find out what he’s interested in. No matter how wonderful the curriculum is, trying to fill a bucket when the lid is clamped on tight is just a waste of time and resources (ask me how I know :tongue_smilie:). By the end of the year, if you can find something that your DS is really excited about, that’s worth way more than a stack of worksheets and essays.

 

If anyone had told me 2.5 years ago that the sulky, unmotivated 11 yo who was whining/complaining/dawdling through every stinkin’ math problem, vocabulary exercise, and science chapter review would be voluntarily putting 10-15 hrs/wk into an Attic Greek class, reading linguistics for fun, and having conversations about dark energy, Xenophon’s approach to horse training, and the succession of kings in the Achaemenid empire (to name three topics of conversation at dinner last night!), I’d have laughed my @ss off. Not only did DS have zero interest in any of those things, he wouldn’t even read a book — I used to have to bribe him to read Magic Treehouse books.

 

One thing he was interested in was computer games, especially Age of Mythology, Age of Empires, and Civilization III. I know some kids can handle gaming with no problem, but the combination of really boring schoolwork and really exciting video games was toxic for DS. Even when he wasn’t doing “school,†if he wasn’t allowed to play videogames, he would just sit around and mope, complaining that he was bored and there was “nothing to do.†So I took away the computer games, the DSlite, and the Wii, and decided to prove to him that learning cool stuff could actually be a lot more fun and interesting than playing computer games.

 

Age of Mythology had piqued his interest in Greek mythology, so I used that to tempt him into reading the Percy Jackson books. Bingo! Then I kept him supplied with every semi-magical series with a tween/teen boy hero I could find, and suddenly I had a reader on my hands. I gradually increased the reading level and complexity of the books, until he was reading Lloyd Alexander, Ursula LeGuin, and Tolkein (and Homer!). The interest in mythology and ancient civilizations led to TC courses, which led to books like Warfare in the Classical World, which led to more TC courses on topics like the Greek & Persian wars, which sparked additional research and requests for books and TC courses on the Persian Empire, etc. etc. etc. When he asked to learn Greek, I told him I thought Greek was not a good choice for a dyslexic, ADD kid with poor working memory and slow processing speed who still struggled to memorize his math facts! But he was adamant, so I told him he’d need to do a crash course in grammar, and he shocked me by acing Lukeion’s grammar course. He’s just finishing up his 1st semester of Athenaze — he has worked his butt off and he has straight As.

 

The interest in civilizations led him to invent his own civilization — complete with religion, mythology, weapons, housing, clothing & jewelry, maps of the landscape, everything — which he illustrates in a large sketchbook. The combination of learning Greek and working on his invented civilization inspired him to invent a unique language for his culture, so now he’s studying linguistics. He’s learning computer programming by working through Virtual World Design & Creation for Teens, so that he can design his civilization in 3D. Reading the Greek epics and LOTR (not to mention all those YA novels) got him interested in writing a novel about a hero figure from his invented culture, so I got him the One Year Adventure Novel. He’s interested in taking Lukeion’s Classical Lit class, so I was brushing up on my Greek drama and one day I said “Wanna hear something funny?†and started reading a passage from The Frogs, which DS thought was hysterical, so that has turned into a daily read-aloud.

 

My point (which you probably thought I'd never get to :tongue_smilie:) is that ALL OF THIS started with a sulky, unmotivated 11 yo boy who hated school and was obsessed with a few computer games. You never know where even the most trivial and seemingly “uneducational†interest might lead, if you start from there and keep feeding it and guiding it and even sharing it with him.

 

Jackie

[mom4him]

I didn't vote as I know nothing about eschool. As I read your post thought the one thing that I did think about is something I do. I make out a schedule for the next week. It is daily for each subject and fairly detailed(pages, workpages, experiments, etc). As we go through each day I stamp each subject/item when completed with a date stamp(it is fast and easy). When everything for them for that day is completed they are finished for the day. Until that happens we are still in school. It works well. Anymore they will each ask, "what is next" or "what do I have left". They have gained the reality that when they are finished they are then pretty much free until then they have work to do. The harder they work the sooner they will be finished.

[readinmom]

DS 15 is enrolled in k12. If you are looking for flexibility, I definitely do not recommend this option. It is definitely structured day by day, not a lot of wiggle room. His workload is much more than it was in a top public school.

 

We went with k12 for several reasons. I like the accountability factor, and I also liked the curriculum for science and English. I know what he would be getting at the local high school, and it doesn't even compare.

 

For us, it was a good option right now. It is free, it provides a solid foundation, and he is learning to become an independent learner. If I were not working, I would go an alternate option. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

 

Hope this helps...

[klmama]

Well, I don't have any experience with cyber schools, but I do have a teenage boy. I think reading the book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris has helped ds to step up to the plate. Also, developing a passion actually helped him improve his work habits, as it gave him something to look forward to when the less desired work was done.