Which person(s) in your home pay for homeschooling?

[Wabi Sabi]

If asked I might say that *my* money pays for homeschooling, but like Mrs. Mungo said, it's really largely just semantics.

 

Dh and I both work full-time. My paycheck is deposited into one account, his paycheck is deposited into a different account. It just makes it easier for us to budget/pay bills: his check is just enough for all of our bills, my check covers anything that's not a recurring monthly bill (food, homeschooling purchases, household supplies, gas, clothing, etc.)

 

In all reality they're both joint accounts with OUR money and we each have equal access to them, but we still sometimes refer to his money and my money just to differentiate which account we're using.

[Parrothead]

I'm with Mrs. Mungo. It is semantics.

 

If you were to ask dh what his main contribution to our homeschooling is, he would tell you that he pays for it. But not in a sense that he uses *his* money. It is more that he goes to work 5 days a week, 10 hours a day to earn the money used to fund our lifestyle.

 

I actually do the physical hand over the credit card number and purchase the materials.

[Laura Corin]

Our money is our money. Right now husband is unemployed and I am working part time. Previously he worked full time and I home educated the children. It's all our money. We each spend reasonably moderately within our budget; large purchases are discussed in advance, whichever of us wants to make them.

 

Laura

[Carrie12345]

Another vote for semantics. He earns it, we spend it. I would probably never call it "his" money, but I might say he's paying. Because he is.

 

I also tell the kids not to destroy MY house or slam MY car door. Even though dh has paid for these things. :tongue_smilie:

[MamaBearMO]

My husband has told me numerous times that if he had to pay someone to do everything I did, he would need another job.

I may not make a salary - but we consider his salary both of our pay - it's all a team effort.

 

This is how my husband views things too; we're a team and what I do enables him to go out an earn what he does, and what he does enables me to do what I do. Neither of us could do what we do without the other, so the money is ours.

[Puma Mom]

We just had a humorous discussion about this at our house. Dh was chagrined to realize that I must be smarter because I work out of the house none and make 100% of what he makes. :D

 

It's all our money. When we were both earning salaries, it was all ours. When I was the only one, same thing. Now that he is the only one, it's still all ours.

 

Maybe the comments are meant to reflect the notion that dh might have no day-to-day participation in hsing, but the fact that he earns enough for the dw to stay home and hs is part of the equation that makes it all work.

[Mynyel]

Hmmm. I don't earn money, as I'm here raising the kids, but I certainly spend the most! He really has no idea what I spend, as I do the budget for the household. We discuss larger purchases together (or at least warn each other!), but our finances are combined.

 

That said, I could see myself saying that he's footing the bill for the homeschooling supplies (even though his paycheque is deposited into our joint account... we have no finances seperate), because he's the one actually earning the money.

 

I would say the same as well.

 

Most of the comments are probably said tongue in cheek anyway, not that they actually mean that it is his money.

[EKS]

I'm with you.

[RegGuheert]

A thread on the K-8 forum has me thinking about this subject. Some responses to the question, "How much does husband help with homeschooling?":

 

"My dh doesn't help homeschool except to pay for curriculum."

 

"My husband...lets me get whatever I need."

 

"My husband works full time and really has no involvement with the homeschooling, other than footing the bill."

 

In no way, shape, or form can I identify with the notion (as I read it in the comments above) that the spouse who technically earns the salary is the one paying for curriculum (or anything else). It's our money. We both pay for homeschooling. I'm always brought up short when I realize that even now, some women apparently think in terms of the man having primary ownership of the money. I suppose in part that's because our business truly is OUR business. But I'd no doubt feel this way even if we didn't own & operate a business. Likewise, if I worked full-time outside the home and my husband stayed at home with the children, it would still be our shared income. What about you?

So would you prefer these women instead say "My husband does nothing for our homeschool."?

[Peela]

The way I tend to put it is that my husband has supported us to homeschool and i am grateful for that. Meaning, he has emotionally supported us, has earned the money so I don't have to worry about that, and in every way dedicated himself to making sure it happens. That includes economically. If he hadn't been supportive it would have been difficult and i have no problem acknowledging that if he hadn't earned the money it would have been very difficult. But my own income was used for homeschooling so I never had to ask or money for that, fortunately.

 

Overall I can't say I am 100% happy with the power balance around money with my dh but it is a work in progress. We definitely have our separate money as well as our together money, and I instigated that because I wanted some autonomy and didn't want to have to ask for money, ever. It's not ideal but its what works for me.

[QueenCat]

All income goes into the same checking account... my itty bit of income and his great bit of income are all shared. We do each get a bit of cash each week that we are not accountable for (for things like lunch out, him picking up breakfast on the way to work, a loaf of bread- groceries normally go on the cc and are paid when the bill comes in but not if you're picking up one small item). Everything else is on the family budget, be it the mortgage or clothing or dinners out or groceries. I can't imagine my dh calling the money "his".

[Mrs Mungo]

So would you prefer these women instead say "My husband does nothing for our homeschool."?

 

Or, "he supplies the booze and chocolate?"

[*Lulu*]

Or, "he supplies the booze and chocolate?"

 

But, but, but.....I thought those were the most important supplies for homeschooling? :tongue_smilie:

[Jean in Newcastle]

But, but, but.....I thought those were the most important supplies for homeschooling? :tongue_smilie:

 

They are, but those who are not raiding their local library like me, do need some money for curriculum;) I think this whole question was classic overthink. And I do think the cure for that is booze and chocolate:cheers2:

[Colleen]

So would you prefer these women instead say "My husband does nothing for our homeschool."?

I don't have any preference as to what they say. Just making conversation, wondering how others view the subject.

[jujsky]

It's absolutely "our" money, but to give credit where credit is due, he earns it. It's a fact. What's more, I feel it somewhat belittles the very real stress and pressure he feels as the sole bread-winner if I suggest otherwise.

 

He acknowledges that I work, and is the first one to say that he couldn't do what I do and he doesn't know how I do it, but in terms of earning the money? He earns it. It is our money and he never suggests or implies that it's his. We both clear major purchases with each other. DH also does participate in our homeschool besides financially. He teaches the kids music.

[Colleen]

 

I really think this is an issue of semantics more than anything...Yes, it is our money, but he is the one that gets paid.

I agree that it's largely semantics, though there are people (friends I have in "real life", for example...yes! they exist!:D) who think in terms of the husband "owning" the money because he works outside the home. Which, er, wouldn't sit well with me. Then, too, as I said in my original post, our situation is rather different in that we own & operate our business jointly. Hans without question does the majority of the labor & management, along with one employee and our boys. But it's very much our business, as reflected on our paycheck.

 

[Mrs Mungo]

I agree that it's largely semantics, though there are people (friends I have in "real life", for example...yes! they exist!:D) who think in terms of the husband "owning" the money because he works outside the home. Which, er, wouldn't sit well with me. Then, too, as I said in my original post, our situation is rather different in that we own & operate our business jointly. Hans without question does the majority of the labor & management, along with one employee and our boys. But it's very much our business, as reflected on our paycheck.

 

I know what you mean, I definitely know people who are "allowed" to homeschool. I think I said in a similar thread that my dh pays for homeschooling. But, can you imagine me asking permission for...well...anything? :lol: It is just my way of acknowledging the fact that he has a stressful job with long hours and I can't really expect him to share in homeschool duties, not if I want him to keep helping with housework! ;)

[Shellydon]

A thread on the K-8 forum has me thinking about this subject. Some responses to the question, "How much does husband help with homeschooling?":

 

"My dh doesn't help homeschool except to pay for curriculum."

 

"My husband...lets me get whatever I need."

 

"My husband works full time and really has no involvement with the homeschooling, other than footing the bill."

 

In no way, shape, or form can I identify with the notion (as I read it in the comments above) that the spouse who technically earns the salary is the one paying for curriculum (or anything else). It's our money. We both pay for homeschooling. I'm always brought up short when I realize that even now, some women apparently think in terms of the man having primary ownership of the money. I suppose in part that's because our business truly is OUR business. But I'd no doubt feel this way even if we didn't own & operate a business. Likewise, if I worked full-time outside the home and my husband stayed at home with the children, it would still be our shared income. What about you?

 

Since I used to earn a salary equal to DH and I could go back to work tomorrow earning roughly 100K or more, I tend to feel like DH salary is his money. I would spend differently if I contributed to the income with an actual salary (which is not necessarily a good thing).

[Ria]

Our household, our money. We each contribute to running this household; my work at home is no less valuable to either of us just because I don't pull in the big bucks from working full-time.

[Sara in AZ]

DH and I have a pretty good understanding of how much we need each other and how all the work we both do and income that comes in is for the good of the family.

 

A few months ago in good fun I joked with him that he thinks the refrigerator somehow magically fills itself up with food every week, and he didn't miss a beat before he shot back (with a twinkle in his eye) that it must be the same way my bank account magically fills up with money every two weeks! ;)

[Julie Smith]

If someone is said to own the money in the house, I would right now pick dh. Because he recently taken over the job of handling it. If I offered to be in charge of paying bills he would happily give the job back to me.

 

The closest I have ever heard to "his" and "her" money is my parents. The money my Dad makes belongs to both of them - but he sometimes vetos what my Mom wants (ie. a ATV, ... big purchases). The money my Mom makes just belongs to her to do with as she wishes. She always has paid for all the grocery needs for the family with her money. She has almost always made about 40 000 a year with which she does as she pleases.

 

My Dad's money does fund retirement, and all that sort of stuff for both of them.

[Daisy]

We both consider his income our shared income. However, when it comes down to it, it is HIS job that gives us financial stability, from the house over our head to the food on the table. When I say he pays for our homeschool, I am simply honoring his willingness to work hard to make homeschooling financially possible.

[eternalknot]

In no way, shape, or form can I identify with the notion (as I read it in the comments above) that the spouse who technically earns the salary is the one paying for curriculum (or anything else). It's our money. We both pay for homeschooling. I'm always brought up short when I realize that even now, some women apparently think in terms of the man having primary ownership of the money. I suppose in part that's because our business truly is OUR business. But I'd no doubt feel this way even if we didn't own & operate a business. Likewise, if I worked full-time outside the home and my husband stayed at home with the children, it would still be our shared income. What about you?

 

I earn my own money, which I use to homeschool the children.

 

My husband earns his own money, which he uses to support our homes.

 

It's all just money we put into our family, regardless of whether it came from one account or two and whether we call it "ours" or his and mine. I don't get hung up on the semantics of it nor do I attach any deep meaning to our financial habits or the habits of other couples. I guess I don't get the point :confused: it's a non-issue, here.

[LG Gone Wild]

A thread on the K-8 forum has me thinking about this subject. Some responses to the question, "How much does husband help with homeschooling?":

 

"My dh doesn't help homeschool except to pay for curriculum."

 

"My husband...lets me get whatever I need."

 

"My husband works full time and really has no involvement with the homeschooling, other than footing the bill."

 

In no way, shape, or form can I identify with the notion (as I read it in the comments above) that the spouse who technically earns the salary is the one paying for curriculum (or anything else). It's our money. We both pay for homeschooling. I'm always brought up short when I realize that even now, some women apparently think in terms of the man having primary ownership of the money. I suppose in part that's because our business truly is OUR business. But I'd no doubt feel this way even if we didn't own & operate a business. Likewise, if I worked full-time outside the home and my husband stayed at home with the children, it would still be our shared income. What about you?

 

My husband says, "My money" and it doesn't bother me. When our roles were reversed (a long, long, long time ago) I said, "My money."

 

That probably sounds archaic but it is a joke between us.

[Colleen]

©an you imagine me asking permission for...well...anything? :lol:

"Permission"? What is this "permission" of which you speak?:huh:

 

:D

[Plucky]

We are very weird here in regards to money. His money is ours, and mine is mine. I make money on the side, and also get an allowance direct deposited into my own checking acct. I shouldn't have to go to dh for every little penny. I would find that demeaning. Large ticket items we both discuss.

 

He does pay for homeschooling stuff, lessons, clothing, haircuts, and everything else.

 

I pay for food, household items, private school tuition, college fees, college books, etc.

 

The money is still "ours" we just handle things differently. Plus, all "my money" goes to the kids or back to the family. This way though I get more of what I want for the kids and have a bigger say in things that are important to me without my dh saying that we can't afford it.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

We do not have his or hers money. He does not give me an allowence. He earns the money but it is our money. Dh does not do any teaching. He works alot. He says "I am the teacher, he is the superintendent. It is his job to make sure the teacher is fully funded and deal with any discipline issues that is beyond the teacher" :lol:

[Rosie_0801]

we share our income. Always have and it boggles my mind to meet couples married for 10+ years with separate banking accounts who 'split' the utilities/mortgage and such. Each has their own money and they don't share with each other. Heck, my dad remarried and he and his wife would take turns paying for the vacation. WEIRD.

 

I can't speak for your friends but at our place it's far, far less about ownership and far, far more about organisation.

 

:)

Rosie

[LaxMom]

It's our children, we homeschool (though I do primarily) and it's our $.

 

BUT, when we were first married and I used to feel bad about staying home with a baby and him out earning, HE was the one who always stressed to me it was OUR $.

 

Us, too, though we are fortunate with his schedule that both of us do the homeschooling.

 

When we were married, I was the primary wage earner (IT consulting pays better than civil service). It was OUR money then, too.

[Dolphin]

Sure I can think of it as "our" money in general. But there is no getting around the fact that HE physically earns it and therefore pays for the curriculum etc. I don't mind giving him credit for that. It's an important contribution.

 

On the flip side, there is no getting around the fact that *I* do all the planning and researching and implementing of homeschooling and if I say that "I homeschool my kids," I would arch a brow if someone said what you just said only reversed it to: "In no way shape or form can I identify with the notion that the spouse who actually does the teaching is the one homeschooling. It's our children. We both homeschool them." No- I homeschool them. He earns the money. ;)

 

ETA: Or...I can just agree with Mrs. Mungo. Semantics! Yes, WE have family income. Yes, WE are a homeschooling family. But WE do have individual roles to play and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging them, especially in a thread ABOUT those particular roles. If it were just a random conversation about something purchased or that our kids stay home from public school, I'd say: "We bought the kids X," "We homeschool our kids...."

 

:iagree:with Nance and Mrs. Mungo

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I have to agree with a couple previous posters.

 

Money in our family is our money. By choosing homeschooling we have chosen where to place a priority in our finances. That impacts all members of the family-parents and children.

 

However, as previously mentioned, it is a matter of semantics. For all the hours I may spend raising and educating our children it is my husband who spends the hours out in the world working to earn the income that supports us. He has spent his entire adult life working long and hard to provide for our family and to allow us to live on one income. I can claim to have assisted him in many ways but I can't take away from all he has done and does for his family.

[Lightly Salted]

It's absolutely "our" money, but to give credit where credit is due, he earns it. It's a fact. What's more, I feel it somewhat belittles the very real stress and pressure he feels as the sole bread-winner if I suggest otherwise.

 

He acknowledges that I work, and is the first one to say that he couldn't do what I do and he doesn't know how I do it, but in terms of earning the money? He earns it. It is our money and he never suggests or implies that it's his. We both clear major purchases with each other. DH also does participate in our homeschool besides financially. He teaches the kids music.

 

That - it's all our money; I even contribute from time to time when I have a small writing contract, but realistically, HE earns and manages it. He doesn't contest anything I spend (on school or anything else) and we're both respectful of each other in regards to big purchases, so it doesn't bother me at all to say "he pays" with "our money."

[Pretty in Pink]

My husband pays for our homeschooling. Sure, it's "our" money, but I don't earn it. He does. I do not feel in any way belittled by saying so. My husband works very hard to provide for our family. I don't mind recognizing his specific contribution to homeschooling, which is the financial part. He doesn't say, "We teach the children." He says, "My wife teaches the children." That is the truth. It's also correct to say that "we" homeschool.

[8circles]

Its our money. Same as it was when I made 2x his salary (pretty much the our whole marriage before kids, when I SAH). I don't ask his permission for any money - although I do occasionally ask him for cash when I'm out (we need to get another ATM card for me & I'm dragging my feet). But there is no questioning as to what it's for. Big purchases we always discuss beforehand.

 

Our money. WE pay for homeschooling. WE homeschool. Besides me doing primary childcare & he having his job, its all shared.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I don't work outside the home, DH makes enough that I can (just barely) justify staying home. It has always been our money. He whole heartedly agrees with HSing and is very happy to have me stay home. I take care of all the "stuff" that his long hours keeps him from doing. We have agreed that at some point after the kids are grown I will go to work to do something(mainly so I won't go stir crazy), until the grandkids come then all deals are off. This works really well for us.