Mom Banned For Life

[happyhomemaker25]

Weren't we just going through this with a member here? I actually clicked on the article thinking they were doing a story about her, but NO it's a different story about another mom. Are these stores crazy??

Mom Banned For Life

 

Why can't these poor women just pay for the things they "stole" (heavy sarcasm on stole) and then go back to being the law abiding citizens they have always been? Why make it such a big deal. OK, if it happens again or three more times or whatever THEN call it what it is and ban them. Ridiculous!

What kills me is my career criminal cousins KNOW how to shoplift and do it well and never get caught. These poor moms need to take some lessons I guess.

 

P.S. Did I use "stole" correctly? It looks very weird. Don't ban me from the message boards, please. :tongue_smilie:

[tmulcahy]

There is no common sense there! The store manager is on a power trip.

[Parrothead]

Yeah, true shoplifters would put the brie down their pants and paid for the milk.

 

You'd be surprised by what people put down their pants expecting to get away with it.

[LibraryLover]

That's crazy. I once strolled out of a store with some items on the metal bottom basket of my pram. When I stopped outside the store to check and adjust the baby, I noticed the items. I went back in and paid for the 'stolen goods'. The clerk laughed, "I didn't even see that!" It was no big deal. I also had a toddler in a stroller once 'lift' some display shirts at Baby Gap. It was pretty funny to look in the carriage and see 3 or 4 shirts with tags on them littered around the child. I just brought them back.

 

I love the mother's response about buying the $ Stilton but stealing the milk? lol

Edited August 10, 2011 by LibraryLover

[JulieH]

That's insane. I think the town should ban together and boycott the store! Good grief. With all the bad things going on in this society. It just doesn't make sense!

[Alenee]

Too bad for the store...bad press, if you ask me. At the grocery store recently, I was finished unloading my cart on the conveyor and beginning to pay when my dd called my attention to the wine left in the seat of the cart. I was thankful she noticed. You just never know how people are going to react.:glare:

[southcarolinamom]

Yeah, kind of like this story from last summer:

 

http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/July-2010/Whole-Foods-Versus-Shoplifters-The-Conundrum/

 

I came close to walking out of a store with a DVD tucked under my arm (to free up my hands for other things) just last week.

 

My friend's 1 year old "shop lifted" a stuffed animal out of a Myrtle Beach boardwalk store, while sitting in her stroller! My friend didn't realize what had happened for a while, and when she realized the stuffed animal her child was holding didn't belong to her, she didn't know where to return the toy to.... sigh. Stuff happens.

 

The moms were trying to "make things right" and correct what I am sure was simply a "frazzled mom moment."

[gingersmom]

I think you would be hard pressed to find a mom/dad who has not either walked out of a store with something in the bottom of a stroller or accidentally walked out with something. Usually it involves a screaming child having a tantrum.

 

My daughter put candy (that I told her we were not buying) in the bottom of our stroller. I walked around the mall and headed to my car. It wasn't until everyone was strapped in and I was folding up the stroller that I discovered it. I was mortified. It was too far to get kids out of car and back into mall to return so I left it on the garage floor. I felt so guilty.

Edited August 9, 2011 by gingersmom

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

That is just absurd! I say we all write that store manage and let them have it :D

 

 

How many of us have done something similar? I know I sure have. When you find it, you go in, apologize and pay for it. Then be on your way. Good grief.

[SonshineLearner]

I walked out of Children's place, with things hanging on my stroller bar, I had to walk back and pay or put them back... I don't remember what I did. I've had it happen multiple times, with and without children present. I've never tried to charge the store with burglary when they've over rung my items. And yes, I've had that happen multiple times, too!!

[Stacie Leigh]

I "stole" a tube of mascara once at wal-mart. (It was under all the bagged groceries in my cart, so it just never made it onto the belt.) I could have cried, but I dragged all the kids back in (in the rain) to pay for it.

 

Not 6 months later, I left milk and something else in the bottom of my cart and, again, dragged everyone back in to pay. The clerk looked at me like I was nuts when I said I forgot and came back in.

[Crimson Wife]

It's not politically correct to say this, but these kind of "zero tolerance" policies typically come about because stores are so afraid of getting sued for racial/ethnic discrimination. Gotta throw the upper-middle-class white lady under the bus because otherwise members of those organized Colombian shoplifting rings who get caught might claim unfair treatment... :thumbdown:

Edited August 9, 2011 by Crimson Wife
fixed typo

[Meriwether]

I think some common sense would see that it was the heavy things not the expensive things that got put into stroller.

[Impish]

The argument about paying for the brie doesn't make sense to me. Ppl don't always shoplift the highest price items, specifically so they can make that argument.

 

I'm not saying she did it deliberately...I don't know. How is the store to be able to tell btwn someone that makes a mistake and someone purposefully shoplifting? Sounds like they have a blanket policy and are enforcing it.

 

And, if they didn't have a blanket policy, and went on a case by case basis, you have to know that would create MORE problems...there would be accusations of prejuidice (ie Mom driving a Beemer was excused, single male wasn't...) etc.

 

Accident or not, what happened meets the legal definition of shoplifing, and she's being treated accordingly. I don't know what else the store *can* do, and not be accused of favouritism, prejudice, etc.

[kiana]

The argument about paying for the brie doesn't make sense to me. Ppl don't always shoplift the highest price items, specifically so they can make that argument.

 

I'm not saying she did it deliberately...I don't know. How is the store to be able to tell btwn someone that makes a mistake and someone purposefully shoplifting? Sounds like they have a blanket policy and are enforcing it.

 

And, if they didn't have a blanket policy, and went on a case by case basis, you have to know that would create MORE problems...there would be accusations of prejuidice (ie Mom driving a Beemer was excused, single male wasn't...) etc.

 

Accident or not, what happened meets the legal definition of shoplifing, and she's being treated accordingly. I don't know what else the store *can* do, and not be accused of favouritism, prejudice, etc.

 

Well, it would seem more reasonable to take their name and information (driver's license etc) and tell them if it happens again they'll be banned. Allows for one mistake etc.

[abreakfromlife]

 

That's insane. I think the town should ban together and boycott the store!

:iagree:

[LaxMom]

I can't tell you how many times I "stole" eggs from Giant, only to discover them when everyone was strapped into carseats and I was putting the stroller in the back. It got so routine that one of the customer service ladies saw me coming to the desk one day and said " steal the eggs again?" with a chuckle. :ohmy: I mean, it was completely obvious to them that one does not spend hundreds on groceries and steal the $2 eggs.

[kitten18]

I think some common sense would see that it was the heavy things not the expensive things that got put into stroller.

Very good point.

[roxanne23]

.

Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23

[Farrar]

I once did that with a cantaloupe by accident and realized it when I got home. The next time I was there, I told the checkout lady to ring me up for two when I just had one and explained. She laughed and agreed to do it. But the people at my grocery store actually sort of know me. Certainly most of the cashiers recognize me and my kids. When I'm there without the kids, they ask after them. It's a unionized store so (regardless of what you think of unions) the workers are pretty well paid and there's not a ton of turnover. I think maybe that sort of thing is too much to hope for sometimes, but it certainly helps in situations like this.

 

Zero tolerance makes me nuts in pretty much every case. Anything where people are barred from using common sense is just wrong.

[gingersmom]

The store is on the Upper East Side of NYC (and actually has only been open several weeks) so I doubt there will be any people protesting/not shopping there. Fairway is an amazingly nice foodstore (think a combo of whole foods/trader joes with low prices).

 

I read in an article online that the stores owner said they would have been willing to accept an apology but because she called the corporate offfice screaming and then called the local newspapers/tv stations they decided to stand firm and have her permanently banned from the store.

 

If you lived in New York City it is not a store you want to be banned from. My mother would die of starvation if she could not shop at Fairway.

[justamouse]

Ugh, that is so utterly ridiculous. There have been so many times I accidentally forgot to pay for one item and went back in to pay for it.

 

Granted, she went off, afterwards, but I think that was from the sheer humiliation.

 

Also, why does everyone immediately think the worst? Couldn't the guard have asked why she didn't pay? Did she have to assume it was intentional? Why must we always leap and assign wrong motivations to people? Are we that cynical?

[lisamarie]

The store is on the Upper East Side of NYC (and actually has only been open several weeks) so I doubt there will be any people protesting/not shopping there. Fairway is an amazingly nice foodstore (think a combo of whole foods/trader joes with low prices).

 

I read in an article online that the stores owner said they would have been willing to accept an apology but because she called the corporate offfice screaming and then called the local newspapers/tv stations they decided to stand firm and have her permanently banned from the store.

 

If you lived in New York City it is not a store you want to be banned from. My mother would die of starvation if she could not shop at Fairway.

 

I could see why they'd stick by their ban because of her reaction (kinda like with parenting), but I totally understand her position. Yesterday I went shopping and I got home and looked at my receipt and saw that the cashier rang me up as having paid $5 of my order with cash, $5 with a gc, and the rest credit. I didn't give her cash and I felt really bad because her drawer is going to be short. I plan to give them the money the next time I'm there.

 

At the store before that one, I was ready to walk out when I noticed DD holding her new lunch box and sandwich box. I thought it was odd that it wasn't in the bag. I looked over my receipt carefully to be sure, and nope, we hadn't. So I stood in line again to pay for them and the lady thanked me for my honesty.

 

I think 1 out of 3 store trips result in me not being charged for something or the store overcharging me for something. I stop at the customer service desk after almost every visit.

[5kidsforME]

Yeah, kind of like this story from last summer:

 

http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/July-2010/Whole-Foods-Versus-Shoplifters-The-Conundrum/

 

 

 

You know, I would believe this if she hadn't put it in her purse. I mean, that really really looks bad. I have set items on top of my purse and then in a panic move them because I can see how that could look bad. BUT in her purse..why??

 

I would definitely have more compassion for a mom if it was in the bottom of a stroller or cart but inside a purse and I have to agree, that's stealing. Even if it was by accident.

[Guest submarines]

Well, it's clear what happened there. The frequency of theft had increased in that store. The security guy had been reprimanded for not doing his job. And oh! How awesome! He didn' even need to work hard. He saw her on camera! An easy case. He met his quota.

 

What's puzzling is the manatement's position on this.

[Scuff]

Banning someone who spends hundreds of dollars on a regular basis. Smart move.

[Hannah C.]

At the Tom Thumb I used to work at, we were *specifically instructed* to check the bottom of the carts for items which people forgot. I'm sure there are some people who really meant to steal a 24-pack of water or a bag of dog food. I'm equally certain that there were many, MANY more who had no such intent. It's just that it's easy to forget things when they're not right in front of your eyes.

 

I think it's ridiculous that she was banned from the store in the first place. It seems obvious to me that she didn't mean to steal the groceries. But it sounds like the whole situation could probably have been handled better by both parties, as well.

 

Years ago, I walked through the metal detectors at a Walmart to get a cart - and I had two CDs on me. They thought I was stealing. Thankfully they let me go back in the store, and I made sure to show them the receipt when I left!

[elegantlion]

Didn't something like this happen to someone here recently? Like with ice cream or something?

 

I think retailers are getting antsy in this economy and throwing common sense out the window with it.

 

Come on, get a grip people. I swear some people should be forced to shop with small children in tow just to get a feel for what they're missing out on.

 

I found a playstation game someone left in the cart outside walmart one time. Receipt in the bag, game not opened. I could have easily returned the game for store credit. When I took it inside to the customer service to let them know someone dropped it they looked at me like I had two heads.

[mcconnellboys]

My problem with this is that willful shoplifters make runs on groceries and other stores and steal loads of stuff, running away with it, and employees are told NOT to chase or confront them. But they will bully a poor, harried mother who is offering to pay for something she never meant to take....

 

Why don't they just take a pic of her and watch her for a while whenever she shops there if they think she might be a regular shoplifter? If they catch her again, after warning her, then ban her.

 

As the mother in this particular case said, why would she steal inexpensive (large, heavy) items but pay for the expensive (easier to conceal) cheeses she was buying? That makes no sense.... As in so many other cases today, there seems to be an inability to apply common sense....

[JennyD]

Banned from Fairway -- that's harsh, man. One of the grocery stores I used to shop in (also in NYC) tried to enforce a policy prohibiting anyone from putting anything at all in the bottom of their strollers while shopping. That didn't last last long.

 

I recently took my children to Target. They aren't all that used to shopping carts (we just moved here) and I discovered about halfway through the trip that my 6yo and 3yo were taking small things out of the cart and 'hiding' them in their pockets. They thought that this was hilarious. I was looking around frantically for the security cameras, already hearing the story on the evening news ( "A Nashville mom was detained today when her three-year-old son left a store with a trial-sized Garnier Fructis conditioner in his shorts pocket."), and hissing, "Do NOT put anything in your pockets! The people in charge of Target do NOT like it when you put things in your pockets!"

[Shelly in IL]

If you pay cash, how would they know it is you? Will they card all their customers to check against a master list?

[LidiyaDawn]

If you pay cash, how would they know it is you? Will they card all their customers to check against a master list?

 

I've seen photos in the back offices - pictures of banned people, so that employees know what they look like…

[swellmomma]

DS and DD are banned for life from our small town grocery store and they never stole anything. Ds was inside walking around with a bag of candy. 1 worker *felt* he was going to steal it so they called me and informed me both kids were banned for life (dd was outside). Now whether or not he was going to steal it I don't know. I do know he did not have enough money for it, but he has been known to go into a place, figure out what he wants to buy, add up the total and then come home and earn the money to do so. The worker in question we have had issues with in the community (her son was involved in 3 fires when we moved here, ds was with him for 1, he blamed ds for all of them and his mom believed him even when we had proof we were not in town at all during them, he also offered my dd mom to have s*x with him, when I told her she tried to say it was my own dd's fault and that she asked for it, umm nope, my dd was 10 years old) So there is more at play here behind the scenes. Sometimes people jsut get on a power trip. Police were also not called on ds because as the manager said he never actually stole anything, but the manager decided to go with this employee's "feeling".

 

I have inadvertantly walked out of a store without paying for something. I once had toilet paper on the bottom of my shopping cart. I was in the middle of having things rung up. Normally around here for large packages etc you do not put them up on teh belt, you just tell the clerk and they will come around and use the hand scanner thing. Anyway, the kids were miserable, but I had to finish getting the groceries there was no food at home, I had to buy them right then. My youngest was maybe 6 months and crying, ds was having a meltdown, all 4 were tired and hungry. In other words it was the worst possible time to be at the store. I finished paying for everything, and walked out to the van. I get the cart unloaded and see the pack of TP on teh bottom shelf of the cart and realize what I have done. I ran back in with it, explained what happened and paid. NO big deal. I would have been mortified to be accused of shoplifting for simply having a brain fart about it under there.

[Mrs Mungo]

Treating customers like this will *always* result in bad blood. When I worked retail we regularly encountered people removing stuff from boxes and putting it in their strollers, putting large merchandise in their purses and putting items down their pants. Even when we confronted them (which, we were not technically supposed to do), we never kept a list (other than a mental one) or banned anyone from the store. That sort of behavior has always been considered bad for business. The company I worked for firmly believed that it was better to take a loss on the stolen items than to lose numerous customers over someone throwing a fit.

[Mrs Mungo]

You know, I would believe this if she hadn't put it in her purse. I mean, that really really looks bad. I have set items on top of my purse and then in a panic move them because I can see how that could look bad. BUT in her purse..why??

 

 

It said that she put it in her bag. She had already paid for most of her items, I think it meant in her shopping bag, not her purse.

[Mom in High Heels]

Good grief I've done this. It's not on purpose, but sometimes you just get harried or are tired and forget. I think the store took this way too far. They should have let her pay for the items and warned her that if it happened again, she would be banned or the police called.

 

Heck, I did it once before I even had children. Dh and I were in Disney World (on our honeymoon) and in a shop looking at stuff. We were looking at different stuff in different areas of the shop. I had a photo album in my hand and looked around for dh to show it to him. The store was packed, but I saw him going out the door. I panicked because if he got out in the crowd I would never find him. Of course we were adults, but getting separated in DW is not ideal and would have messed up our day. I ran out the store still holding the photo album. I caught up to him (he thought I left the shop and went out to look for me) and asked what I had in my hands. I freaked out because I could just see us getting tossed out for shop lifting. I ran back to the store and explained to a worker what had happened. Turns out it was the asst. manager. He was so nice and thanked me for my honesty. He gave me the album for free (in a bag with a receipt marked "complimentary"). He said they get stuff stolen every day but had never had anyone come back to pay for something.

 

Just about 2 months ago, we were having a function and I ordered a cake. I didn't have time to pick it up, so dh went. He asked for the cake, they handed it over and he walked out with it. When he came home I asked how much it was. He flipped out because he thought I had prepaid. This was at our military commissary. He just knew he was going to get into trouble. I called the store and explained what had happened. I told them I couldn't get back that day to pay for it but would be in the next day. They were fine with it. I went in and went to customer service, explained who I was and that I needed to pay for the cake. They said if we hadn't called they never would have even known it wasn't paid for.

[ChristineW]

My guess is that the six pack of beer got her in trouble. The sale of alcohol is pretty tightly regulated, and missing alcohol inventory is probably treated differently than missing dairy after all we do have a whole federal agency dedicated to Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms. The red bull under the stroller probably didn't help her case either.

 

Christine W

[5kidsforME]

It said that she put it in her bag. She had already paid for most of her items, I think it meant in her shopping bag, not her purse.

 

 

I just re-read it, you're right. It still doesn't make sense that she put it in HER bag with her other paid groceries. It just does not look good and I can see how they would think she was stealing.

 

I still think they went overboard.