Who watches your dc when you have a baby?

[Aubrey]

ETA: Mom has called about 4x tonight, about totally random things. The last time she called, I told her how surprised I was that she wouldn't watch the kids. Turns out, she's run out of her rx for ADD, which...causes a lot of problems w/ her communication. We talked again, & she's simply PANICKED that I'll go into labor while she's at work an hour away, & she won't be able to get home in time. She's afraid I'll go into labor while dh is working, & she'll have to deliver the baby. When she started going on & on about all of that, I understood: she's just nervous. She's never had a friend, sister, or daughter have a baby in the same state as her. It's a BIG responsibility from her POV. Which is much sweeter than what she said the last time we talked. :glare:

 

But she's also only had babies at a hospital w/ pain meds, etc. Dad had to stay in the waiting room, I think. Anyway, she had NO IDEA why I'd care if dh was there. :001_huh: She really thought it would be fine for me to just go by myself. I'd be upset again at this statement, but it came in the middle of completely earnest reassurances that she'd do ANYTHING I needed her to do.

 

THAT sounds more like mom. It's just...there's no telling w/ her, if that makes sense. I think I may steal some of her ADD rx once she gets it, though, & stockpile to make sure she never runs out again. :svengo:

 

..............................

My ils have watched ours for 3 out of 4 births; w/ the 4th, we had neighbors across from us who were very close & kept the kids for a few hrs for a home birth.

 

This will be my first time to have a baby in a place where I have NO friends or family. I have no idea what people do in situations like that, but surely they must do something?

 

I guess there's a small chance that we could make great friends in the months before baby's born, & the problem would take care of itself, but if not...?

 

:bigear:

Edited July 20, 2011 by Aubrey

[stripe]

Have someone come stay with you?

[BlsdMama]

Make great friends. I don't know what to do otherwise! (If it's any comfort to you I don't trust people with my children easily and since moving here we've been very blessed to meet people who are just wonderful.) I'm not in the same boat as you as we have Ana (our oldest) but the rewards of striving to make like minded friends is certainly worth it.

[Parrothead]

Sadly it has never been an issue. Since we are not close to family I suppose if that need existed for us I would have had a close friend take care of dd.

[Emmy]

I thought you were moving to Colorado near family?

 

I know a couple from my church that took their kids to our local crisis nursery when it was time to deliver; not sure if that is an option or your comfort level with that. Are you delivering in a hospital or at home?

[Aubrey]

Have someone come stay with you?

 

We'll be living w/ my mom, so I don't think there'd be a comfortable way to invite mil to come stay w/ us. If we had our own house, I think she'd be there in a heartbeat!

[Aubrey]

Make great friends. I don't know what to do otherwise! (If it's any comfort to you I don't trust people with my children easily and since moving here we've been very blessed to meet people who are just wonderful.) I'm not in the same boat as you as we have Ana (our oldest) but the rewards of striving to make like minded friends is certainly worth it.

 

This is the best plan I can come up w/ so far, but honestly? Dh & I are *terrible* at making friends. :(

[Soror]

#2 It was a hb that was at my mom's since the house burned down. The oldest stayed at my brothers house that night for a few hrs then dh went to get him.

 

#3 Dh's parents came and got them when I was in labor(a few hrs before delivery) and kept them overnight for a few days-although they came and visited off and on between then.

 

I just watched my friends kids a few weeks ago when she gave birth as her family isn't close by.

[UmMusa]

Can a relative come stay with you for a week or two, or can they come at last minute notice when the labor does actually start?

 

I had this problem with #3. No really close friends and no family. We finally asked our next door neighbors if they could come. I think they might have casually offered their help, so we asked if we could call them should we need to. Of course I started labor at 10pm... awful time to call an older couple with no kids at home. But they came over and slept in our guest room. Our kids were already asleep, so they just slept in the guest bed. DH came back home at 7am right when the two kids were waking up, so they didn't really notice anything weird. Neighbors went home and DH got kids ready to come visit me. It worked out great.

 

So either ask a neighbor, call a friend or parent to come visit you, or make some friends really fast!

[G5052]

We had that concern last time out. We had people lined up, but it was around the holidays and it wasn't clear that it would work out when the time came.

 

The OB gave me names of a service that provided mother-and-baby care and could do 24/7 childcare with minimal notice in most cases, and I also asked around and found a local single mom with excellence references who did this sort of thing and promoted herself through local midwives and OBs. Her kids were old enough to manage for awhile without her, and she ran another local business that didn't require her full attention.

 

In the end, it all worked out and we didn't have to call in a stranger, but I was glad to know that there were some professionals out there that could step in if necessary. It could have been expensive, but what could we do?

[Aubrey]

I thought you were moving to Colorado near family?

 

I know a couple from my church that took their kids to our local crisis nursery when it was time to deliver; not sure if that is an option or your comfort level with that. Are you delivering in a hospital or at home?

 

We're going to live w/ my mom. When I mentioned needing someone to watch the kids while I have the baby, she offered to ask her neighbors who watched their kids when they had a baby.

 

I've never heard of a crisis nursery, so I don't know what that means. We will probably be delivering in a hospital (for the first time): Denver's laws on mw's aren't like TX laws. And at this point...if a dr insists on delivering lying down w/ IVs & a c-section...I just barely care any more.

[UmMusa]

We'll be living w/ my mom, so I don't think there'd be a comfortable way to invite mil to come stay w/ us. If we had our own house, I think she'd be there in a heartbeat!

Ummm, wait, you're living with your mom. So.... did I miss something? Why can't she be the one to watch the other kids?

[Aubrey]

Can a relative come stay with you for a week or two, or can they come at last minute notice when the labor does actually start?

 

I had this problem with #3. No really close friends and no family. We finally asked our next door neighbors if they could come. I think they might have casually offered their help, so we asked if we could call them should we need to. Of course I started labor at 10pm... awful time to call an older couple with no kids at home. But they came over and slept in our guest room. Our kids were already asleep, so they just slept in the guest bed. DH came back home at 7am right when the two kids were waking up, so they didn't really notice anything weird. Neighbors went home and DH got kids ready to come visit me. It worked out great.

 

So either ask a neighbor, call a friend or parent to come visit you, or make some friends really fast!

 

Since we haven't moved yet, we don't know the neighbors...yikes!

[TheReader]

We'll be living w/ my mom, so I don't think there'd be a comfortable way to invite mil to come stay w/ us. If we had our own house, I think she'd be there in a heartbeat!

 

Not following why your mom is not an option, but trusting you on that.

 

When we were in that situation (we moved to a new town in October, I gave birth a few months early in February), we had barely started attending a church. We had the pastor of the church stay with the boys at our house until my mom-in-law could get there, just for the duration of the birth. After that, dh and I were on our own and the juggling for visiting the NICU was insane, but the church really stepped in to do what they could.

 

Wasn't ideal, and we worried about how the boys would adjust to the pastor -- they'd never at that point stayed with anyone but family -- but they did fine. Even if mom-in-law hadn't been able to get there, we'd have trusted the pastor until one or the other of us could have been home.

 

Maybe you'll find a church family? Or if you are moving in with your mom, and she herself is not an option, would you trust her judgement on some friend(s) of hers to do the job? Your oldest is old enough to sort of be eyes & ears while the kids are with someone other than yourselves, so it would not be as worrisome as if they were all preschoolers.

 

Praying you find someone who'll work, and that you will feel comfortable. I remember what a great source of stress it was for us.

[joannqn]

Mine have always attended my births with an adult specifically responsible for being with them. For my 2nd, my doula's daughter was paid to help out with my oldest at my house during my home birth. For my 3rd and 4th, a friend of mine came to the hospital to help with the kids. She took them for walks, helped entertain them, and generally made sure they had their needs met. She also took pictures of the birth for me.

[Aubrey]

We had that concern last time out. We had people lined up, but it was around the holidays and it wasn't clear that it would work out when the time came.

 

The OB gave me names of a service that provided mother-and-baby care and could do 24/7 childcare with minimal notice in most cases, and I also asked around and found a local single mom with excellence references who did this sort of thing and promoted herself through local midwives and OBs. Her kids were old enough to manage for awhile without her, and she ran another local business that didn't require her full attention.

 

In the end, it all worked out and we didn't have to call in a stranger, but I was glad to know that there were some professionals out there that could step in if necessary. It could have been expensive, but what could we do?

 

Thank you--this is a great idea! Hopefully, if we end up needing to do something like that, it won't be TOO expensive!

 

I'm having visions of pulling up to the local ps in labor trying to enroll my big kids for a few hrs, lol, & then daycare for a day for littles, & hoping not to give birth in the car while handling enrollment forms. :lol:

[Aubrey]

Ummm, wait, you're living with your mom. So.... did I miss something? Why can't she be the one to watch the other kids?

 

Good question. When she offered to ask the neighbors who they used, she added brightly, "Maybe THEY will watch the kids for you!" Total strangers recommending more total strangers or watching my kids themselves.

 

Besides that, Mom attracts nutjobs. By virtue of being her friend or neighbor, a person is automatically less likely to be safe to leave kids with.

 

She has never come when I've had a baby, to see the baby, help, or anything. I had thought that that would be different if we were living there. I am pretty disappointed to be wrong about that.

 

But I have finished the cry & now need a plan.

[Emmy]

We're going to live w/ my mom. When I mentioned needing someone to watch the kids while I have the baby, she offered to ask her neighbors who watched their kids when they had a baby.

 

I've never heard of a crisis nursery, so I don't know what that means.

 

So, your mom isn't willing to watch them?

 

The town I live in has a "crisis nursery" - basically it's a place you can drop off your kids if you need to for an emergency situation. It's staffed by volunteers primarily.

[Aubrey]

Not following why your mom is not an option, but trusting you on that.

 

Oh, sorry: she refuses.

 

When we were in that situation (we moved to a new town in October, I gave birth a few months early in February), we had barely started attending a church. We had the pastor of the church stay with the boys at our house until my mom-in-law could get there, just for the duration of the birth. After that, dh and I were on our own and the juggling for visiting the NICU was insane, but the church really stepped in to do what they could.

 

Wasn't ideal, and we worried about how the boys would adjust to the pastor -- they'd never at that point stayed with anyone but family -- but they did fine. Even if mom-in-law hadn't been able to get there, we'd have trusted the pastor until one or the other of us could have been home.

 

Maybe you'll find a church family? Or if you are moving in with your mom, and she herself is not an option, would you trust her judgement on some friend(s) of hers to do the job? Your oldest is old enough to sort of be eyes & ears while the kids are with someone other than yourselves, so it would not be as worrisome as if they were all preschoolers.

 

Praying you find someone who'll work, and that you will feel comfortable. I remember what a great source of stress it was for us.

 

No, Mom's friends aren't options--they tend to be...crazy.

 

I am hoping we'll find a church right away & make great friends. That hasn't really been our luck in the past, but...maybe CO is different than TX. :lol:

[twoforjoy]

We don't have any family nearby.

 

When DD was born, we had a friend who had agreed to watch DS, and another friend who was our back-up. The friend who had agreed to watch DS completely forgot about it and was out of town, and our back-up ended up watching the 2 dc of another friend who was having a baby the same night. So, DH stayed home with DS, and I had the baby alone. Honestly, it wasn't that bad, although I wouldn't choose to labor alone again. DH finds labor and childbirth really, really stressful. It was kind of nice not worrying about how DS was doing, and DH was so rested and refreshed and excited when he came to the hospital (he and DS got there just as the baby was being born) that I really got to rest a lot after.

 

This time, I'm using a doula, and we're going to take childcare as it goes. I have three or four friends who've all said they'll be around and be happy to watch one or both of the kids. Most likely, during the day, we'll have friends watch DD, and DH and DS will spend time at the hospital with me but DH's main job will be watching DS (and taking him out when/if things get too intense) and not providing me with labor support. If it's at night, DH will stay home with the kids, and I'll be with the doula. Then, when the baby is born and I'm still in the hospital, we'll probably have friends watch DD as much as possible (since, at 16 months, she's not going to know what's going on or be particularly interested in the baby), and DH and DS (who's 7 and loved hanging out at the hospital with me and the baby after DD was born) will spend most of the day at the hospital with us.

Edited July 19, 2011 by twoforjoy

[milovany]

Just get that baby out in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep. That's been our modus operandi for the last five babies (well, one was during the dinner hour, so we set the others up with a video). Can you arrange that? ;)

[petepie2]

Some good friends from our church watched our kids. I don't know what we would do without them.....

 

I'm so sorry your mom won't step in and help....

[Aubrey]

Some good friends from our church watched our kids. I don't know what we would do without them.....

 

I'm so sorry your mom won't step in and help....

 

It's funny...Mom's having foot surgery next mo, & she'd asked her mom to come stay w/ her for that (ironically), but now she's excited that I will be there to help her instead of her mother.

 

I'm tempted to tell her I will if I can, but she might want to call her neighbors. You know, at least SHE knows them. :glare:

[Karen in CO]

This is the best plan I can come up w/ so far, but honestly? Dh & I are *terrible* at making friends. :(

 

Well you will be in CO, right? You'll have to let us know when you get here. I mean, really. How weird could you be compared to us? ;)

 

I flew to FL to watch my nephew while my sil was having my next nephew. Maybe there is somebody in your family that could come to you to help. And if your Mother refuses, then maybe your mil isn't a bad option. She'll want to see the new grandbaby anyway.

Edited July 19, 2011 by Karen in CO

[Aubrey]

Well, I just googled churches near mom's house. Then I remembered we won't have a car (big enough for all of us), so I kept the search radius REALLY small. There's ONE (of any denomination) church 1/2 a mile from her house, so I guess that's easy. :lol:

 

The next closest says it's an Ethiopian denomination. Never heard of such *as a denomination,* lol, so I guess we'll stick w/ the shorter walk.

 

Hopefully, they're nice. Honestly, I think it's a relief to not have more choices. (If you've read my religion threads, you're probably glad I don't have too many choices, too, lol!)

 

ETA: Nevermind. Apparently there are denominations I've never heard of. I think my blood pressure just went sky high.

Edited July 19, 2011 by Aubrey

[Sukale]

My oldest was 10 when we had the baby. I had no family or friends near me either. I did a planned C-section and had an elderly neighbor watch her. I made it a point to get to know her a few months before the baby was do. If i seen her out side I would take my daughter for a walk and we would talk to the lady for a minute and just built on that. She offered to watch my dd when I was telling her that I was afraid that my husband would have to miss the birth so he could be with the 10 yr old. The lady only had my dd for about 3 hours. I had to stay the night in the hospital by myself so dh could stay with our older daughter. If she couldn't have helped I would have had the baby alone so my husband could have stayed in the waiting room with the older one.

[Orthodox6]

Most embarrassing, but I do not remember who watched our three children when #4 was born. It was not either grandmother.

 

When #3 was born in the middle of the night, a close friend drove into the city to pick up our first two. They still remember sitting in Miss Bobbie's (yep, the South) kitchen at 2:00 A.M., eating cereal, when the phone call came in that they had a new brother.

[AmyinMD]

When my youngest was born we didn't have anyone. We wound up taking all 5 to the hospital with us. Dh wound up missing the birth though because he spent most of the time going back and forth with our then 14 month old. Luckily ds came pretty quickly and we were only there maybe 3 hours before the birth and since it was around 9 pm when i was admitted the kids mostly slept in the waiting room. Not really my ideal birth.

 

Now that my oldest is almost 14 I'd just have her babysit. Of course now that we've lived here longer i have friends i could call but we'd moved here right before ds was born.

[stripe]

We'll be living w/ my mom, so I don't think there'd be a comfortable way to invite mil to come stay w/ us. If we had our own house, I think she'd be there in a heartbeat!

 

Honestly, I'd ask your mil anyway. If your mother wants to send your kids to the neighbors, then ask your mil.

 

I feel your pain.

[vonfirmath]

We have asked our once and future childcare couple if they would take care of DS while we are in the hospital with DD

 

Our 2nd backup is his AWANA's teacher from last year...

 

We're not great friends with either. But we know they care about the kids and trust them with him.

[MelanieM]

We're going to live w/ my mom. When I mentioned needing someone to watch the kids while I have the baby, she offered to ask her neighbors who watched their kids when they had a baby.

 

</p>

Did you actually ask her if she would do it, or did you say you needed someone and this is how she replied? I'm wondering if maybe she's just clueless and needs a direct request? I know some people really are like that... What would your Mom say if you just said "well, I figured you'd watch them!" Can't hurt to try?

 

For #2, we were having a homebirth and my oldest was sleeping through. The midwife suggested we might have to transfer (we ultimately didn't leave home) so my husband woke up our neighbours, a senior couple who were like adopted parents to us, and she spent the rest of the night there.

 

For #3, labour started at night but was still dragging on when the kids got up in the morning and they were starting to distract me. I had a friend come by and pick them up for a couple of hours, which worked out really well for all of us.

 

This time we have family nearby, but it's actually going to be more tricky because of their schedules. I'm hoping baby will come in the middle of the night and the kids will sleep through. If not, I'm still not sure what we'll do. I have recently met a lovely woman who has newly moved here and isn't yet working (her husband works for my SIL), so I think I will ask her if she could be on call to help if we need her. I'm thinking she'll say yes, and I think the kids would do great with her.

 

Honestly, I find this to be one of the most challenging parts of birth, and it always stresses me out. I'll send lots of good vibes for you finding the perfect solution for your family. :grouphug:

[Aubrey]

Honestly, I'd ask your mil anyway. If your mother wants to send your kids to the neighbors, then ask your mil.

 

I feel your pain.

 

But where would she stay? I'd hate to ask her to come & stay in a hotel.

[Aubrey]

</p>

Did you actually ask her if she would do it, or did you say you needed someone and this is how she replied? I'm wondering if maybe she's just clueless and needs a direct request? I know some people really are like that... What would your Mom say if you just said "well, I figured you'd watch them!" Can't hurt to try?

 

I did. She said she guessed maybe she could, if it worked out. No commitment.

 

She's watched our kids once in ten years. She LIKES the kids. I don't know what's wrong.

 

I suggested once (when she said she didn't want to come to see a new baby because new babies don't do much) that other people's mothers come to HELP TAKE CARE OF THEIR DAUGHTERS. Her reply? Nobody did that for me.

 

Which of course isn't even true. I remember *at least* staying w/ my dad's mom when my sis was born & w/ mom's mom when bro was born.

 

Whatever. She doesn't want to be that kind of grandma--her loss.

 

For #2, we were having a homebirth and my oldest was sleeping through. The midwife suggested we might have to transfer (we ultimately didn't leave home) so my husband woke up our neighbours, a senior couple who were like adopted parents to us, and she spent the rest of the night there.

 

For #3, labour started at night but was still dragging on when the kids got up in the morning and they were starting to distract me. I had a friend come by and pick them up for a couple of hours, which worked out really well for all of us.

 

This time we have family nearby, but it's actually going to be more tricky because of their schedules. I'm hoping baby will come in the middle of the night and the kids will sleep through. If not, I'm still not sure what we'll do. I have recently met a lovely woman who has newly moved here and isn't yet working (her husband works for my SIL), so I think I will ask her if she could be on call to help if we need her. I'm thinking she'll say yes, and I think the kids would do great with her.

 

Honestly, I find this to be one of the most challenging parts of birth, and it always stresses me out. I'll send lots of good vibes for you finding the perfect solution for your family. :grouphug:

 

I googled churches near mom's house, found the closest one that was acceptable (wow--it's TOTALLY different outside the Bible belt!), & emailed them (that we're planning to move there this mo, not that we need help w/ childcare, lol). *Hopefully* that will help us meet people & get involved there more quickly than our shy selves otherwise would.

[babysparkler]

Where in DFW are you? I may be able to give you some recommendations... I'm PM'ing you :)

[Shannanlee]

With my 3rd child my children were there with us. They stepped out of the room when the baby was born but they were there for the labor. It is no big deal to me.

[duckens]

***I haven't read the other suggestions.***

 

Do your dc have friends who would keep them? Another family with similar aged children who would keep your young 'uns for a few days or parts of a few days?

 

When #2 came along, I asked the mom of dd's best friend to keep #1 while we were in the hospital having the baby.

 

#1 went to friend's house early in the morning (5am), and stayed most of the day until daddy collected her (5pm or so). After a quick visit to the hospital, daddy and #1 went home until the next morning (mid-morning), when #1 went to visit friend again. This continued until mom and baby were released from hospital.

 

Some other things we did to prepare:

--Same friends were willing to be on emergency call if the baby came early.

--The day before baby's birth (planned C-section), we visited friends and daddy attached carseat in friend's car for their convenience.

--Babysitter's notebook for friends to keep when our dd was there. This has all important phone numbers (cell phones, pediatrician, etc).

--Permission slip for friend to put in her wallet in case dd needed emergency medical care....even though we were at the hospital. Oh, the irony. :tongue_smilie:

--$100 in cash for friend to spend on dd for a fun day or for emergency. I know they planned to go out to lunch ("because it's not every day you become a big sister.") Likewise, I wanted friend to have cash on hand if dd needed anything we forgot to pack. Most of this money came back to us.

 

My philosophy is that, "These people are caring for our child. We want them to be happy, and we want to make things as easy/simple for them as possible." Can you tell that I used to be a nanny?

 

I offered cash payment to friend, too, but she refused. Instead, I bought a really nice set of blocks for their household.

 

http://www.toystogrowon.com/sku601

 

Again, these people cared for Dear Daughter and helped us when we really needed it. To know that dd was in a safe and loving location allowed me to do what I needed to do: birth #2 and heal/rest before going home.

[Anne]

You know, if you explained the situation, she might be so happy to be the "helpful" parent in the room, that she wouldn't mind staying in a hotel.

 

:D

 

Anne

[Pink Fairy]

What about all your WTM friends? Does anyone on the board live close enough? I feel like I "know" you (it's okay if you don't feel the same about me :lol:), and I'd certainly be willing to watch your kids for you in a pinch.

[Aura]

You know, if you explained the situation, she might be so happy to be the "helpful" parent in the room, that she wouldn't mind staying in a hotel.

 

:D

 

Anne

 

:iagree:

 

I haven't had this problem, but I'm going to go to with this suggestion. It's amazing what people will put up with if they feel like they're really needed and wanted.

 

:grouphug:

[Aubrey]

You know, if you explained the situation, she might be so happy to be the "helpful" parent in the room, that she wouldn't mind staying in a hotel.

 

:D

 

Anne

 

I have to say...I don't really mind (at the moment) how uncomfortable it would make my mom, either. ;)

 

But I don't think mil would do it under these circumstances. She wouldn't want to "step on Mom's toes."

[Aubrey]

What about all your WTM friends? Does anyone on the board live close enough? I feel like I "know" you (it's okay if you don't feel the same about me :lol:), and I'd certainly be willing to watch your kids for you in a pinch.

 

You can't watch my kids while I'm in labor: I'd be too jealous of them for getting to meet you! :D

[EKS]

When we moved to a place with no friends or family, the only time someone watched the kids was when my parents came to visit. We didn't go out a lot.

[clarkacademy]

With the first three my sister lived near us so there was no worry. With number 4 she had moved and we don't really allow other people to care for our children so her delivery was scheduled anyway I just drove myself to the hospital, checked in, had the baby and a few hours later he showed up with the other children. The nice nurse took alot of pictures and it was better for me to know that my other children were in their home with their dad safe and sound. Otherwise I would have been a fruitcake wondering if they were all right. The real aggravation came when I was released and they wouldn't let me drive myself home :glare:

 

My ex just showed up and drove me to my car then I drove home.

[Mommy22alyns]

Well, Sylvia was kind of an emergency situation. MIL lives about an hour away and luckily she was able to drive down and take Rebecca when I was hospitalized. When Sylvia was actually born, we had my dad and sister and MIL all in town. Dad & sis had been staying with DH and helping care for Becca and MIL drove down for the birth (as she was able to do, as Sylvia was a scheduled C-section).

[Susan C.]

I only have two kids, so only needed help once. A neighbor watched ds, I had the baby quickly, then dh went and got ds. Done! A new friend moved around the block back then, and knew no one. Her husband was a pilot, and of course she went into labor at night while he was gone, it was her #3. I was pregnant with #2. I told her if she was desperate I would come over and go back to bed at her house. I did, and a neighbor took her to the hospital (her dh made it to the hospital just in time for the birth). You should have seen the look on her two little ones faces when they woke up to me! It was cute and fine. They just played together until their dad came to get them.

[Pink Fairy]

 

You can't watch my kids while I'm in labor: I'd be too jealous of them for getting to meet you! :D

:001_wub:

[redsquirrel]

Can you have a homebirth? I did and I didn't have to leave home. I wanted one to begin with, but I was really stuck on that point. I didn't know what to do.

 

if that is not an issue, I would call a doula and explain the issue. You will have to hire someone. I once had my midwife call and ask me to watch kids while the baby was being born. I think I got paid 100$ for 5 or 6 hours of work.

[peachskittles]

For my most recent, I didn't have anyone I could trust so my SO dropped me off at the hospital, made sure I got checked in and stayed at home with the other kids. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I had a great nurse who coached me and the entire staff that was there was completely friendly and helpful. He was happy to be away from the medical side of birth (seeing blood gets him close to fainting). The only sad part about it was it was our first daughter but looking at it from a different angle, he was able to be rested up with the kids to meet her.