MeganW Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) My kids have now been homeschooled for THREE WEEKS. They were in church preschool through Memorial Day. Oh, and we do numerous meetups, dance & gymnastic lessons, etc. every week. I was venting to my mother about my kids misbehaving at a kids' ice cream social / park playdate. "Well, you have to know that homeschooling is causing them to be socially stunted. They are just STARVED for the company of other kids!" Seriously? Oh, by the way, this is the same person who is constantly harping on me about having the kids "overscheduled" - choir, gymnastics, swimming, AWANA, dance, & soccer. Yeah, we stay busy - otherwise Mommy goes insane! We still have plenty of time at home for free play & lessons & playdates! So here is my question, so I will understand better how it works. We have only been out of school for 6 weeks, so the same amount of time as everyone else who is in traditional schooling. Are ALL children who don't school year-round in a public/private school socially stunted? Or is it just those whose moms intersperse some summer learning with their playdates and other activities? Because other than that, our life isn't any different from anyone else's yet!! I am so lonely. I'm a pariah among the mainstream due to having triplets and being a homeschooler. I'm conservative by general standards, but too liberal for most of the homeschoolers. Sorry - had to vent!!! I'll quit feeling sorry for myself and go back to being productive now... Edited July 13, 2011 by MeganW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warneral Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I'm not 100% following you. Are you feeling they are socially lacking or are you talking about your mom's comment? I just started too so I can relate to the fears and concerns. My kids tend to cling to me and hang onto me even more (in social situations) now that we've been homeschooling. I don't think it is social stuntedness (?), but more that they feel more connected me. Or perhaps they ARE feeling insecure - but that's OK too. This is a whole new lifestyle and we need time to adjust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeganW Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 Just annoyed. I don't really understand how she can blame homeschooling for my kids having a out-of-character episode of bad behavior when we have only been doing it for a few weeks, and when the other kids haven't been in school anyway! She's just SOOO anti-homeschooling. We were so close previously, and this has driven such a wedge between us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) All kids behave poorly at one time or another. It's not a sign of being socially stunted. It's a sign of being a child. ;) The "socially stunted" stuff is crazy. And is the only manipulating, mommy guilt inducing thing that people have to use against homeschooling because they usually know that academically it is better. So they poke and prod at our human desires to not be left out of the mainstream crowd. Anyway, I'm sorry that you are lonely and I hope that you find a good friend soon. But your children will be just fine! They are so fortunate to have siblings that close in age! Edited July 13, 2011 by jannylynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warneral Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 oK I totally get that her suggestion was ridiculous! All kids are home for the summer right now anyways! SOme are home inside playing video games all day while their parents are off at work! :D Maybe remind her what the "real world" really contains and it will help her realize what you are doing and why :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 My kids have now been homeschooled for THREE WEEKS. They were in church preschool through Memorial Day. Oh, and we do numerous meetups, dance & gymnastic lessons, etc. every week. I was venting to my mother about my kids misbehaving at a kids' ice cream social / park playdate. "Well, you have to know that homeschooling is causing them to be socially stunted. They are just STARVED for the company of other kids!" Seriously? Oh, by the way, this is the same person who is constantly harping on me about having the kids "overscheduled" - choir, gymnastics, swimming, AWANA, dance, & soccer. Yeah, we stay busy - otherwise Mommy goes insane! We still have plenty of time at home for free play & lessons & playdates! So here is my question, so I will understand better how it works. We have only been out of school for 6 weeks, so the same amount of time as everyone else who is in traditional schooling. Are ALL children who don't school year-round in a public/private school socially stunted? Or is it just those whose moms intersperse some summer learning with their playdates and other activities? Because other than that, our life isn't any different from anyone else's yet!! I am so lonely. I'm a pariah among the mainstream due to having triplets and being a homeschooler. I'm conservative by general standards, but too liberal for most of the homeschoolers. Sorry - had to vent!!! I'll quit feeling sorry for myself and go back to being productive now... You sound perfect for us. Are you in Indiana?:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Just annoyed. I don't really understand how she can blame homeschooling for my kids having a out-of-character episode of bad behavior when we have only been doing it for a few weeks, and when the other kids haven't been in school anyway! She's just SOOO anti-homeschooling. We were so close previously, and this has driven such a wedge between us. :grouphug: I know exactly how you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 A friend of mine who pulled her two older kids out of school around Thanksgiving to homeschool them ran into this bias the other day. She took her oldest into the pysch. doc at her normal pediatrician's office to evaluate him for some longstanding issues (prob. related to being on the autism spectrum but he hasn't been officially diagnosed as such). The doc didn't listen to anything she said after the word "homeschooling" passed her lips. All the issues her ds has been experiencing for 4+ years are all due to his being homeschooled since the end of November according to the pysch. doc. If she just put him back into ps, all these issues (that he experienced while in ps) would go away. She said she felt very discriminated against. Me? I just ignore relatives like that. It is one reason I don't vent about anything in my life to my mother. :auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuckoomamma Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Oh, hang in there Mamma! It's tough to be different and it's tough when our own moms aren't there telling us that they're so proud of us for taking the harder road because it's the better road for our families. Try to surround yourself with only positive messages about homeschooling until you build up your own confidence. Don't discuss anything that might invite negative comments from your mom. She'll come around. It just takes awhile for people to see the great results, and sometimes they need them to be gently pointed out to them. She loves you and thinks you're making a mistake. We can all understand that point of view. Yes, it's horribly hurtful to you, and you need support on what can, at times, be a lonely road. It may take time, but you will find people who are like you. They may not be homeschoolers. Some of our greatest fans and supporters aren't homeschoolers! I have some hs mom friends but our children aren't friends. The girls have some hs friends, but not very many right now. It just didn't work out that way for many reasons. You're fortunate to have triplets, as they do have each other. I know that there's at least one other mamma out there like you, because I've met her! Hang in there and find your support in other places than with your mom. Kudos to you for doing what's best for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I was venting to my mother about my kids misbehaving at a kids' ice cream social / park playdate. "Well, you have to know that homeschooling is causing them to be socially stunted. They are just STARVED for the company of other kids!" Seriously? Thank you for your concern Mom. Wanna cookie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalliemorgan Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 People will criticize you, and for funny, different reasons. One thing that I found was when I was ready to start homeschooling my kindergartener, five moms (who are friends of mine) were on board and wanted to do it also. But when it came time to do it, I was the only one that followed through. Then they all became my worst critics and were constantly justifying to me why they sent their kids to public school and why I needed to do the same. The one friend that ended up being the snottiest about it has now decided to homeschool her oldest (2 years later) and is not only a huge supporter (miraculously again) but has also chosen to do the same cirriculum as I have! :tongue_smilie: It took me a while to figure it out that they were just jealous, and not to take it personally. Then there are others that truly don't understand the concept of homeschooling or the benefits (sounds a bit like your mom?) but with time and the great results in your kids you win them over also. Maybe she feels guilt that she didn't do the same for you??? So try not to let it get you down. It's hard to not take it personally. But 99.9% of the time, it is nothing personal at all. Hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 People will criticize you, and for funny, different reasons. One thing that I found was when I was ready to start homeschooling my kindergartener, five moms (who are friends of mine) were on board and wanted to do it also. But when it came time to do it, I was the only one that followed through. Then they all became my worst critics and were constantly justifying to me why they sent their kids to public school and why I needed to do the same. The one friend that ended up being the snottiest about it has now decided to homeschool her oldest (2 years later) and is not only a huge supporter (miraculously again) but has also chosen to do the same cirriculum as I have! :tongue_smilie: It took me a while to figure it out that they were just jealous, and not to take it personally. Then there are others that truly don't understand the concept of homeschooling or the benefits (sounds a bit like your mom?) but with time and the great results in your kids you win them over also. Maybe she feels guilt that she didn't do the same for you??? So try not to let it get you down. It's hard to not take it personally. But 99.9% of the time, it is nothing personal at all. Hope this helps. I agree. When I began to homeschool NO ONE I knew well was doing it. One of my closest friends thought it was a horrible idea until his dd was ready for K and suddenly they were signing up for the same program I was in with ds. After that 6 other of my friends began homeschooling...a few that were outright hostile to it previously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I would be careful about complaining to others about your kids' behavior. You will never get a suitable reply! If someone agrees with you that your kids are unruly, then they are insulting you, and so on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in STL Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 :grouphug:Just to encourage you let me say that her perspective may change. My oldest was three when I told my parents that we had decided to Homeschool. I have a BA in elementary education, so I expected them to think it was a great idea. Wrong! My dad said that he didn't believe in that, like it was areligious doctrine or something. My mom basically said that I could do whatever I wanted, but she was sure that when the time for kindergarten came I would realize that I should send him just like all the other kids. Not exactly the supportive response I expected. Seven years later the results of our homeschooling adventure have totally changed their minds. I mean now they practically grab strangers and tell them their grandchildren are home schooled and it's awesome. They have done a complete turnaround. So, support may come eventually, but in the meantime I understand how hard it is not to get that from parents. I remember feeling like they didn't trust me to make the right decisions for dc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I would be careful about complaining to others about your kids' behavior. You will never get a suitable reply! If someone agrees with you that your kids are unruly, then they are insulting you, and so on. Other than seeking advice from a trusted mom who has been there and DH of course, I don't complain about my kids. It just doesn't pay. And FWIW kids who are the age of yours are going to misbehave in public. They are little and still learning about life. Your job is to deal with it and go on. It isn't about you, it is about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 and DH of course, I have to watch that one too... It becomes a "we shouldn't homeschool" discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Wow, you're talented! Socially stunting triplets in 3 weeks! How on earth can triplets even be socially stunted?!?!? Maybe if you put them each in separate rooms all day... solitary confinement (and I'm sure you've been tempted at times :lol:). I agree with not talking to most people about bad behavior of your kids. The only people I usually tell about it are a couple of my best friends whom completely understand exactly where I'm coming from (that I'm just venting... my kids are normally pretty good), and one of them homeschools... the other is homeschool-friendly. I only tell my DH about bad behavior if a) he needs to deal with it in some way, or b) I want suggestions on how to change the behavior (he's a great problem solver). Btw, my kids acted WORSE when my oldest was away at school all day. He'd come home TIRED, and they hadn't seen each other much, and they were just bicker, bicker, bicker. Non-stop. Homeschooling actually made them act better toward each other. Do they still fight? Sure. Probably 99.9% of siblings fight on occasion. Is it constant? Nope. They play together and enjoy each other. They are young, so we sometimes get the squabbles of one doing wrong to the other, but that's getting better as they grow and mature. My biggest fights are between the 2 and 4 year old now, both of which just don't have the maturity or language expression to discuss a problem instead of hitting, biting, or throwing something. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay3fer Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 We were so close previously, and this has driven such a wedge between us. Just curious - is this the first time you've gone against her parenting / schooling advice in a big way? I certainly agree with the advice and good humour of previous posters: - There is no way your kids could be stunted after such a short period of time: it takes YEARS of actual neglect for any type of difference to emerge! (and even - sadly - under circumstances of extreme neglect, some kids seem okay socially) - Watch who you complain to: surround yourself with a circle of homeschoolers and/or supporters and save the REAL concerns for them. - Know that your triplets may have an adjustment while they're "deschooling"; kids are sometimes bored / listless / hostile / "bad" because they're so used to being told what to do at every moment of the day. Having the summer to decompress & take it easy (schooling "lite") will help. If you're real quiet about homeschooling, you may be able to rebuild the closeness with your mother... but it's my guess that she will only feel you're really close if and when you follow her advice, not just listen and thank her respectfully for offering it. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IdahoMtnMom Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I am new to homeschooling but I will say this. I keep my kids close. And because of a LOT of stuff going on in the past year, they have not had the opportunity to interact much with other kids. I was in hospitals for 3+ months last fall and back in this past winter. They seriously are super comfortable around doctors and nurses, lol... They have only been to Sunday School 4 or 5 times ever. They have not done any sports or activities. So they are very unsocialized when it comes to other kids.... and yet, they met a little boy at the lake on Monday... a little older and he had a prosetetic leg. My kids jumped right in and played with him and were not shy. DS4 took his mom a flower for her hat!!! Molly showed them her beloved stuffed animal... If we go to a place with kids, again, they jump right in and make fast friends.... they hold nothing back.... but it's also with adults. DD3 have her favorite clerks in the local stores (one of whom swears she walks on water!) and DS4 had a doctors appointment today and talked with the nurse about alfalfa and the baby swallows and at the end, thanked his doctor with "knuck knucks" and a hug.... Either child can carry a full conversation with any adult who will give them the time of day... and I can say without lying, Molly (DD3) held the attention (jointly) of Tom Hanks and Martin Short in a grocery store for 10 minutes and left with popcorn that Tom bought her. They found her super friendly and "adorable".... esepcially when she did a dance for them. My point is.... the line about acting out because they are not around other kids is a load of ^&*^&%!!!! it's just a judgement against you and it is not fair. Period. Kids have unique personalities and ALL KIDS ACT OUT!!! End of story! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin's Song Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 :lol::tongue_smilie: You must be really awful to manage that in only three weeks! The fact that you discovered this at an ice cream social shows how absolutely weird and unsocialized your kids really are :tongue_smilie:. Seriously, don't pass the bean dip. I find a hearty "Are you kidding me?!" to be appropriate here. Nip it in the bud! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kesmom Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I'm wondering if perhaps your mom has never been around anyone with children before? ;-) There are plenty of mothers frustrated with their kids' behavior this time of year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iona Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 It is tough when all sorts of things can be attributed to hsing...or at least not blamed on "school".:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Leigh Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 People will do anything to "prove" their opinions... even loved ones. Ask me how I know, lol! My grandma loves to yell at me for having a frappuccino for lunch, harping on how important health food is. Then I leave her with my kid for 3 days and they go to McDonalds and Dairy Queen and she makes them hot dogs and macaroni and cheese at home, lol! I try not to take it personally! It doesn't mean they don't love you... just that they think they know better!! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marsha SC Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Wow! That is rough for just starting. We will soon start our sixth year of homeschooling and I still hear the "unsocialized" crap. Yep, I said crap, because that what it is. Think about when you were in school. You had to be quiet at your desk, in the halls, in the cafeteria, etc. There are actually very few times when they can talk "socially". I think most people believe homeschoolers stay at home fearing the outside world. When in actuality most homeschoolers are in some kind of co-op group and attend field trips regularly with other homeschoolers. If you are lonely, I suggest checking Yahoo (or other places) for a homeschool group near you. We have several in our area, so we can choose from different activities we'd like to join. You have just started so I hope you will not let others change your mind for you (even though it is your mom). We were very lucky that both of our mothers were for homeschooling, though neither knew much about it. The journey is wonderful but not without difficulties. Just remind yourself why your family chose to homeschool and try your best to ignore the negatives being thrown at you. Good luck! Have fun! Marsha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Homeschoolers don't get to complain about their kids to non-homeschoolers, because everything would be solved if we just put our kids in school, don't'cha know? :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I hear ya. You may possibly be able to turn her around or not. I've homeschooled for 8yrs , we never got an ounce of support from my husband's family. We live closer to them. My 2nd sister is very supportive. She has homeschooled as well. My third sister does not support homeschooling but I take her talk with a grain of rice. My inlaws will never approve and quite honestly I'm at a point in my life where I just don't care anymore. If they can't be supportive then I really just don't want to hear it anymore. Its sad though when your own family can't be supportive. But they aren't supportive when it comes to when I care for my youngest's health needs, they don't support us when we homeschool etc. It does make for a lonely road to go down the path least traveled on. I think all we do is want some kind of approval. That voice that tells us that we're doing a good job. I have some really great girls and honestly it wasn't from putting them in school that made them who they are today. Sadly my in laws can't even give me that. They think that having me put them in school for the first time in their life last year made up the past 8yrs of homeschooling. Which I will admit this is one of the many reasons why they aren't returning because them going to school all of a sudden became about them. All of a sudden we came to our senses, and honestly its a control thing. Remember you are an adult. You know what is best for your family. We're all not perfect, our children aren't perfect and all we can do is the very best we can. If they don't like it or accept it that's just to darned bad. No one told them how to raise their children. They don't need to be telling you. Its now your time with YOUR family. They've had their chance. It can be lonely being a homeschool mom at times. Your going to have to seek and find. It took me up until this year that I found out there was a homeschooling family that lived a few blocks from us ( after 8 years). We live in a small rural community so we don't have homeschooling groups. If you live in a larger community or city look for some homeschool co-ops , ask here if there is anyone close by. You'll get your grove with homeschooling. It takes some time though. But don't go looking from acceptance from family or those who don't understand homeschooling. Your not going to get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrowacademy Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I think someone who is not generally interested (or outright opposed) will often find it pretty easy to blame anything they view as "wrong" or "negative" as being due to the homeschooling :tongue_smilie:& I'm sure many of you can attest to that! I joke w/ my fellow hs'ing friends, "if my kids are wierd, it's certainly not because we homeschool--- look at their parents!!" :D Hang in there :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I have some really great girls and honestly it wasn't from putting them in school that made them who they are today. Sadly my in laws can't even give me that. They think that having me put them in school for the first time in their life last year made up the past 8yrs of homeschooling. Which I will admit this is one of the many reasons why they aren't returning because them going to school all of a sudden became about them. All of a sudden we came to our senses, and honestly its a control thing. I am having trouble following. Became about your in-laws? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I'm conservative by general standards, but too liberal for most of the homeschoolers. This fits me too. Don't worry there are more of us out here in the hs world that fit your description than you think! I promise. And how in the world did my mother do it? Keeping us home every summer on break between P.S. years? All four of her children being so socially stunted from not being in a classroom for 2 months? :D On a serious note, I know you didn't bring up hsing, but it sounds like you will have to avoid the subject with her and change the subject when she brings it up. i would be ready for a flip answer and a quick "gotta go" every time she brings it up until she gets the hint. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsingscrapper Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I was venting to my mother about my kids misbehaving at a kids' ice cream social / park playdate. "Well, you have to know that homeschooling is causing them to be socially stunted. They are just STARVED for the company of other kids!" Seriously? :grouphug: I feel for you with a mom making those comments. My mom and my bil's wife say crap like that on the occasions my boys step out of line. Part of is social brainwashing that says kids "belong" in a classroom with a teacher who knows what they are talking about. But let's not get out my old soapbox because I'd just be preaching to the choir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Welcome to our world! Just the other day DD had a group of friends over the house and one girl mentioned that she had told her mother that DD was homeschooling and that her mother had commented "She won't have any friends". The girl and I looked at each other after she finished her comment, and then we both burst out laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagira Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 (edited) Wait a minute.. Did everyone miss the post about Tom Hanks? :confused::tongue_smilie::D To the OP, I was there. I'm fact, I'm still a few times a year. The truth is, for better or worse, children ought to learn socialization from their parents. That said, I need to work on holding eye contact and not Interrupting, and dh needs to work on not walking away when his family members are talking to him :lol: That said, ds7 is sociable and likes people, whereas dd3 is a bit more reserved. She has come out of her shell more with plenty of encouragement from me. I'm generally sociable as well, and I think my kids pick up from that. Edited July 15, 2011 by sagira Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 We've been homeschooling for only 6 months, and I get a lot of smirks when I revealed to family that DD was going to be homeschooled. Family members are all eager to point all that every homeschooler they've met was unsocialised, uneducated, and rude. Then I started asking how many they actually met. Turns out they all know of someone who knows of someone, who has a cousin who homeschools! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Just annoyed. I don't really understand how she can blame homeschooling for my kids having a out-of-character episode of bad behavior when we have only been doing it for a few weeks, and when the other kids haven't been in school anyway! She's just SOOO anti-homeschooling. We were so close previously, and this has driven such a wedge between us. You need to point out to mom that if she wants you to keep an open mind to *actual* concerns then she needs to lay off the ridiculous. Her comment was ridiculous. Seriously. Make her aware of it if your relationship is conducive to that. If she's in the habit of making ridiculous comments then she turns into the boy that cried wolf. You will just start putting all of her anti-homeschool comments in the ridiculous pile. I'm sure she doesn't want that. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Tell your mom that you were so concerned about the rapid infection of "socially stunting" that you took your kids to the doctor. The doctor said your kids were great; you, however, were suffering from the dreaded illness of UPD. (Unsupportive Parents Disease) The infected suffer from lack of support, inappropriate comments, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjbucks1 Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 This is just laughable :lol:. Every child that misbehaves is socially stunted!? Well, doesn't this cover EVERY CHILD and MANY ADULTS :D? There are several studies that have examined the socialization of homeschoolers and have found that they are better socially adjusted than their public school counter parts. I think you will find that as your children grow, you will notice a difference in your children's behavior....for the good. A mom at a swim meet this past week complemented me on our 13 year old son saying how he is able to talk to adults and how helpful he is to others. What I notice the most is that my children can get along with other kids of ALL ages, and are also able to hold an appropriate conversation with adults. I think it is so sad that people hold such strong opinions against homeschooling, when they have never read any of the research. You will continue to run up against people who think you are damaging your children, but hold fast to your committment. It will pay off in the end :001_smile:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janainaz Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 My ds11 is not interested in sports, music, etc. I was always trying to sign him up for something, and he finally got angry and asked me if I thought he was weird. He's the farthest thing from weird. He's cute, he's witty, he's smart, and he can hold an intelligent conversation. He's fun and there's not a thing wrong with him. He has no issues talking to anyone, and everyone that he meets talks about what a great kid he is. He has two close friends and he sees them periodically through the week, but he's an introvert and gets drained after a while. But he's content. Society tells us that our kids need to be constantly busy becoming something. It's never ok to just 'be'. I asked my son if he was happy, and he told me yes. I promised to stop badgering him because all my 'asking' was making him feel like there was something wrong with him. My other son is polar opposite. He will ask me to play sports, and wants to join in on everything. I keep him involved in one activity at a time. He gets plenty of interaction with friends, and everytime we leave this house for any reason, he has an opportunity to be social. He does not need to spend 6/7 hours a day with a large group of kids in order to be 'social'. I don't even WANT my kids around that many kids all day long. As for family or friends who make comments - I used to get questioned more often, but rarely does anyone ask me anymore about the social aspect. It's easy to see when you meet my kids that they're normal and fine. On the few occassions that I get grilled by someone, I let it slide off my back. I could care less about their opinion. It's not even worth my time to debate it. The more confident you are in your decisions, and in who you are, the less other peoples opinions will bother you. It takes time to get there, but I haven't a single regret about my decision to homeschool. Every year I feel stronger and stronger about the path we chose to take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrowacademy Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Sunflowers, this is funny to me-------> "every homeschooler they've met was unsocialised, uneducated, and rude". As opposed to themselves (probably public-schooled) who are exhibiting the height of socialization, education & courtesy in making the above comment, right? :tongue_smilie: I have never met someone who went to public school who was unsocialized, uneducated, or rude......................so that's obviously THE best choice for every parent who loves their kids :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma H Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I will just say that sometimes choosing to be counter cultural like we all are costs you friends. I had a (BEST) friend for literally 30+ years and we are not friends anymore. My homeschooling choices made her feel judged (maybe she deep down knows it is best but she will not give up her own stuff). For years she gave little jabs here and there and basically let me know she thought it was a bad idea. I have heard of that happening with other people too. Some people just have a bad taste in thier mouths for whatever reason and you lose them. It is sad.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehogs4 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I used to be a leader for La Leche League. I got my "training" for all the weird comments and reactions people would have in that forum. It seemed that whenever the subject of bfing came up (even saying almost nothing about it, no judging, no criticizing...) some mom would immediately launch into a diatribe about how she just couldn't breastfeed for whatever reason, and she tried, she wished she could, but yada, yada, yada... I quickly came to realize that people really and truly spend a lot of time justifying their own actions to themselves, and when confronted with a choice they wish they had made, or should have made, or think is better than the one they made, the other person gets an earful. The same is true and then some with homeschooling. People just don't get it. I have found the best thing is not to tell people that we homeschool. I just don't feel like throwing my pearls to the proverbial swine anymore. What I do with my home and my family are precious to me. I don't need someone else, no matter how close or how distant relationally trampling on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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