Is this bad?

[Katherine A.]

Everyone, i mean everyone , even me and dh

Calls our triplets "The Triplets"

And calls our twins "The Twins"

 

 

Is this bad? Someone told me we should stop, because it will make them feel like their not their own person?

 

I mean its so much easier to say "The Triplets" then 3 names, same thing applies to "The Twins"

 

So should we try to get out of the habbit & Tell people to stop? Or is it no big deal?

Edited June 29, 2011 by Katherine A.

[Jen500]

I don't know if it's bad. How old are they? As my twins get older, they are referred to less and less as 'the twins'. It just seemed to happen naturally as they've developed their own interests, relationships with others, etc.

[coffeegal]

I don't think so. If we're referring to our oldest 2, we call them 'The Boys'. If we're referring to the youngest 2 it's 'The Babies'. How is that any different?

[BatmansWife]

Well...I don't think it's a bad thing and I don't think I'd ask people to stop saying it. But...on the other hand, what do I know? I don't have twins or triplets. But, this did remind me of my 3 younger sisters. I have always referred to them as "the girls". I'm 43 and I still call them that. So....yeah, I know this was no help at all. :D

[Katherine A.]

I don't know if it's bad. How old are they? As my twins get older, they are referred to less and less as 'the twins'. It just seemed to happen naturally as they've developed their own interests, relationships with others, etc.

 

The Triplets are 6 1/2 and The Twins are 3 1/2

 

At home we call them by their names but it seems like we always say "the twins are..." etc. Especially on the phone.

[Parrothead]

You guys have a set of twin and a set of triplets? Wow! Congratulations.

 

 

I think calling each group a specif name is perfectly okay as long as you are referring to them as a group. "What are the twins doing?" "Where are the triplets going?"

 

Once they are doing individual things it won't make sense to refer to them as a group anyway. The question, "What are the triplets doing today?" will probably need an answer like "Bob is swimming, Sam is skiing and Mack is snorkeling." Unless of course you just answer with "They are at the beach."

[Katherine A.]

I don't think so. If we're referring to our oldest 2, we call them 'The Boys'.

 

Thats another thing that happens too, when we're referring to the triplets and our 7 year old we say the same thing "the boys"

[abbeyej]

I suspect that, like so many things, people are addressing a largely irrelevant thing that *could* be a symptom of another problem. I mean, there are assuredly people who don't recognize and celebrate the individuality of their multiples. Among other things, they don't call them by their names, but address them as "the twins" or "the triplets". And IF one doesn't recognize the individuality of individual children, then giving them group titles just emphasizes that. ... On the other hand, if one treats one's children as growing *individuals* with varying needs and competencies, etc, then I strongly doubt that occasionally calling them by a collective name will undo all of that.

[Diana B]

I don't think it's bad. As long as you do recognize that they are different people and each have (or will have, depending on their age) different likes/dislikes. (And do call them by their names too - don't want then to get to be 3 or 4 and think their name is 'twin'. LOL)

 

I have a friend who refused to call her twins "The Twins" because she didn't want them to think that was their only identity. So we all ended up calling them "The Babies".... even at their 3 yr birthday party..... Not sure how that is any better than just The Twins. If their older sister was around, I collectively called the "The Girls".

 

But I know the girls by who they are. One doesn't like cheese, the other likes to color, etc.

[Katherine A.]

You guys have a set of twin and a set of triplets? Wow! Congratulations.

 

 

I think calling each group a specif name is perfectly okay as long as you are referring to them as a group. "What are the twins doing?" "Where are the triplets going?"

 

Once they are doing individual things it won't make sense to refer to them as a group anyway. The question, "What are the triplets doing today?" will probably need an answer like "Bob is swimming, Sam is skiing and Mack is snorkeling." Unless of course you just answer with "They are at the beach."

 

We mainly do it when reffering to the group of them, and Yes and all of the triplets are identical, so are the twins :)

[Katherine A.]

I don't think it's bad. As long as you do recognize that they are different people and each have (or will have, depending on their age) different likes/dislikes. (And do call them by their names too - don't want then to get to be 3 or 4 and think their name is 'twin'. LOL).

 

 

LOL :lol:, yes we do call them by their names too.

[Mrs Mungo]

I have 3 younger sisters. The youngest 2 are 13 months apart. They were called "the babies" until they were teenagers.

[Kathleen in VA]

No experience with twins or triplets, but I was one of two girls and one boy - stair steps. My sister and I got referred to as "the girls" a lot and I despised it. I did feel as if I weren't my own person. It grated. Just my limited experience.

[Ellie]

I don't know.

 

But I had a friend who had twin dds, and she always called them by their names, never "the twins." She said she thought they had the right to be thought of as individuals, not always lumped in with their siblings.

 

It made sense to me.

[Impish]

Tazzie and Princess get called 'the Littles'. My younger brothers were 'the boys'. *shrug* Nobody was emotionally scarred.

[Lauren R.]

I have a 2 & 3 year old boys and they're often called "the boys"

I also have a 6 & 4 year old often called "the girls"

And then the 3 olders kids 13, 9, 11 are occasionally called "the older kids"

 

IMO, i dont see anything wrong with it, especially when you have a large family, instead of listing everyone's name its easier.

 

As long as you still call them by their names too, i dont see anything wrong with it ;)

[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

I don't think so. If we're referring to our oldest 2, we call them 'The Boys'. If we're referring to the youngest 2 it's 'The Babies'. How is that any different?

:iagree: We have "the girls" in our house.

[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

I also don't see it as any different than saying "my oldest two" or "my kids." Or any other form of grouping together, like "my parents" or "the kindergarten class." If you are talking about them collectively, you are free to say "the triplets" if you want to. :D

[ChrisN in NY]

Everyone, i mean everyone , even me and dh

Calls our triplets "The Triplets"

And calls our twins "The Twins"

 

 

Is this bad? Someone told me we should stop, because it will make them feel like their not their own person?

 

I mean its so much easier to say "The Triplets" then 3 names, same thing applies to "The Twins"

 

So should we try to get out of the habbit & Tell people to stop? Or is it no big deal?

 

I don't think it's bad. I have six kids and the biggest break is between numbers 3 & 4. So in our house we have "Older Kids" and "Younger Kids." It just works in many situations.

 

They're 24, 20, 19, 16, 13, and 11 now, and they have all surivived.

[T'smom]

Dh is a triplet. It kindof annoyed him that people knew him as one of the "lastname triplets". But that wasn't really people who KNEW them, more people who knew OF them. I don't think that's any different than people knowing of people like 'so-and-so's kid/sister/cousin'. No way to keep that from happening.

We have a lot of cousins on dh's side and we often refer to them as the 'big kids' or 'the babies'.

[happypamama]

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. I call my two sons "the boys," or the two older children "the big kids," or DS2 and the baby-to-arrive-soon "the babies/the little ones." I nannied for a set of girl twins, and while we didn't usually say "the twins" (probably because it was just those two children in the family), we often said "the girls."

[Brigitte]

We mainly do it when reffering to the group of them, and Yes and all of the triplets are identical, so are the twins :)

 

I don't think you are doing any harm. When talking about my twins collectively, I either say "the twins" or "the girls." They are about to turn 10 and don't seem to harbor any resentment about it. :001_smile:

[Wheres Toto]

I call my younger two "the little guys" all the time or "the kids" if I'm talking to oldest dd.

 

As long as they are also allowed to have their own identities and own interests (you don't constantly dress them in matching outfits and make them do the same activities) I don't think it would be a problem.

[Carrie12345]

We have "the girls", who used to be "the babies". We also have "the big kids" and "the little boys".

 

I really don't see the issue. If my mom calls to ask how "the kids" are, I'm not going to lay into her about how each of my kids is an individual. She's asking about the group.

[Julie in Austin]

The Triplets are 6 1/2 and The Twins are 3 1/2

 

 

So . . . you had five kids in 3 years?

 

:svengo:

 

Honey, you can call them anything you want! It is a miracle you survived!

[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

So . . . you had five kids in 3 years?

 

:svengo:

 

Honey, you can call them anything you want! It is a miracle you survived!

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Belacqua]

I also don't see it as any different than saying "my oldest two" or "my kids." Or any other form of grouping together, like "my parents" or "the kindergarten class." If you are talking about them collectively, you are free to say "the triplets" if you want to. :D

 

That makes sense to me. Unless the kids object, it doesn't seem to be something to be concerned about.

 

It also makes me think of somebody referring to Jon and Kate's kids as "the 'tups and the twins." I found that quite fetching (on first reference; I can see how after a while that could get irritating).

[Paige]

I never call my twins "the twins." Never. It grates on my nerves when other people do it too, but I don't think it is always a bad thing in itself. It also grates on my nerves when they call my other kids by unsanctioned nicknames and I don't think there's any more to it than that. I would ask the kids what they think. Just say, "Hey, does it bother you when we call you all the triplets?" If it doesn't bother them, then who cares?

[Remudamom]

I think it's a bunch of nonsense for someone to tell you that's bad. Can't they find more important things to criticize?

 

We call ours either the trippers (all three) or the twins (the identical boys). They are grown and show no signs of not realizing they are three different people.

 

I'd say that theory has really been through the horse.

[Katherine A.]

So . . . you had five kids in 3 years?

 

:svengo:

 

Honey, you can call them anything you want! It is a miracle you survived!

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::smilielol5: I think you make a good point :D

[5kidsforME]

I think it's a bunch of nonsense for someone to tell you that's bad. Can't they find more important things to criticize?

 

We call ours either the trippers (all three) or the twins (the identical boys). They are grown and show no signs of not realizing they are three different people.

 

I'd say that theory has really been through the horse.

 

Seriously! The only reason they will be emotionally scarred from it is because someday some moron is going to tell them they should be emotionally scarred. :glare:

[Julie Smith]

Seriously! The only reason they will be emotionally scarred from it is because someday some moron is going to tell them they should be emotionally scarred. :glare:

 

I have a friend with a 9? year old and then some 5 year old twins. I was just getting to know her and had forgotten the names of her twins. So I asked, "What are the names of your twins?" I got a several minute speech about how they are individuals and no one is allowed to refer to them as twins. So till I learn there names (And I had trouble learning how to pronounce on of the names) I had to refer to them as your two youngest children. :confused:

[5kidsforME]

I have a friend with a 9? year old and then some 5 year old twins. I was just getting to know her and had forgotten the names of her twins. So I asked, "What are the names of your twins?" I got a several minute speech about how they are individuals and no one is allowed to refer to them as twins. So till I learn there names (And I had trouble learning how to pronounce on of the names) I had to refer to them as your two youngest children. :confused:

 

 

:glare: Some people are just setting their children up to have major (non) issues.

[Impish]

So . . . you had five kids in 3 years?

 

:svengo:

 

Honey, you can call them anything you want! It is a miracle you survived!

:iagree::lol::lol::lol:

I think it's a bunch of nonsense for someone to tell you that's bad. Can't they find more important things to criticize?

 

We call ours either the trippers (all three) or the twins (the identical boys). They are grown and show no signs of not realizing they are three different people.

 

I'd say that theory has really been through the horse.

Remuda, I love you. :001_wub:

[Katherine A.]

Seriously! The only reason they will be emotionally scarred from it is because someday some moron is going to tell them they should be emotionally scarred. :glare:

 

I've come to the conclusion, it's no big deal, it's just like saying "kids" etc. your're just referring to them as a group.

 

I have a friend with a 9? year old and then some 5 year old twins. I was just getting to know her and had forgotten the names of her twins. So I asked, "What are the names of your twins?" I got a several minute speech about how they are individuals and no one is allowed to refer to them as twins. So till I learn there names (And I had trouble learning how to pronounce on of the names) I had to refer to them as your two youngest children. :confused:

 

That is ridiculous!

[greenvneck]

I haven't read the other replies, after the first page, but that is something we actively discouraged after having our twins. We had a collective nickname for them, though, which I guess could be compared to The Twins. I don't know, I tried from the very beginning to think of them as individuals and to make everyone else do the same. They didn't even know who was born first until they were 16! Only dh and I did. OTOH, maybe we went to too many extremes.

 

That said, we do now often refer to them as "the girls," and the younger kids as "the boys," but I think that if the genders were mixed we would have come up with another option.

 

Honestly, though, if you are raising twins + triplets and this is what you are worried about? You must be doing an amazing job!!!! :D:hurray::thumbup:

[greenvneck]

Okay, I just asked one of my twins (the other is at work) and she said that they have always considered themselves a unit, though I didn't realize it. She didn't know that we had put effort into making other people refer to them by name or not call them The Twins or consciously not dress them alike, etc.. Until two minutes ago, I had no idea they felt that way! I asked if she thought the other would say the same thing and she said they have talked about it and they decided they function better as a pair than separately. Wow.

 

Until we started homeschooling, halfway through 3rd grade, I was convinced they would be the only twins in the history of the world (forget Jacob and Esau) who hated each other. Once we started homeschooling, they became BFFs. Best decision we ever made.

 

Which made me want to cry, since one is going off to college a year early in August and the other will be stay home another year. I have a feeling there will be many road trips in my future.

[Katherine A.]

Okay, I just asked one of my twins (the other is at work) and she said that they have always considered themselves a unit, though I didn't realize it. She didn't know that we had put effort into making other people refer to them by name or not call them The Twins or consciously not dress them alike, etc.. Until two minutes ago, I had no idea they felt that way! I asked if she thought the other would say the same thing and she said they have talked about it and they decided they function better as a pair than separately. Wow.

 

Until we started homeschooling, halfway through 3rd grade, I was convinced they would be the only twins in the history of the world (forget Jacob and Esau) who hated each other. Once we started homeschooling, they became BFFs. Best decision we ever made..

 

Good to know! And My kids that are close in age also think of each other as Bestfriends ;)

[Farrar]

I really disagree that it's the same as all the examples people gave about referring to siblings close in age or with the same gender by a group designation.

 

One of the things I've become aware of since having twins is the huge societal pressure on twins to have a certain type of close relationship. I think referring to kids as "the twins" can help reinforce that pressure, a pressure that simply doesn't exist for other siblings, who everyone knows are individuals who may grow up to be close - or not. Among other issues, that pressure can make it harder for twins to work out differences as they get older because people refuse to really accept that they might actually have differences of opinion and therefore family and friends don't help them mediate like they would for other siblings.

 

So I purposefully never call my sons "the twins." On the other hand, I don't think it's scarring or anything - there are a lot more important things in parenting kids - even multiples. And like others said, if you have twins AND triplets, then my hat's off to you. I know how hard even just infant twins is and I'm in awe of those with multiple sets of multiples.

[Runningmom80]

I never call my twins "the twins." Never. It grates on my nerves when other people do it too, but I don't think it is always a bad thing in itself. It also grates on my nerves when they call my other kids by unsanctioned nicknames and I don't think there's any more to it than that. I would ask the kids what they think. Just say, "Hey, does it bother you when we call you all the triplets?" If it doesn't bother them, then who cares?

 

:iagree: I took a multiples class when I was pregnant, and they said to always try to call them by their names, so they don't feel like "just a twin."

 

 

But I also agree with the pp who said you've had 5 kids in 3 years, call them whatever you want! I actually think in your case it's probably fine, they are two groups. You are my hero!

[Impish]

Good to know! And My kids that are close in age also think of each other as Bestfriends ;)

Is one of your son's name 'Even' or is it pronounced 'Evan'? Just curious, I haven't seen Even as a name before. :001_smile:

[redsquirrel]

I guess I should hope that none of those people hear me call my two non-twin boys Thing 1 and Thing 2. Sometimes I refer to them as Wee Beasties. Occasionally they are boybarians.

 

When they are together, they are almost never called by an actual name.

 

Tell me the truth...are they scarred for life?

 

And if I had that many kids to keep track of, every single one would be referred to as "Hey you" or maybe one of the pets names.

[kchara]

Girl, you have identical triplets *and* identical twins??? You go on with your bad self!!!

 

I call my twins "the twins." I call my big two "the biggers," and my little 4 (twins included in there) "the littles." I guess it wouldn't occur to me to call them anything else. That's what they are.

 

I did have to put a stop to certain people **ahem, DH, ahem** combining their names when he called them. They're identical, and he would go through both of their names as they ran away in that great way that toddlers do. Eventually, he just shortened it to a nickname that incorporated both of their names. Irritating, I asked him to stop it, but I had to put my foot down when the big kids picked it up. :glare: Then we all had a very long talk (read: Mom lectured for an hour to make sure they ALL got the point) about the twins being two individuals...

 

I don't usually dress them the same, but I do put them in similar outfits, but with a different fabric or color or something. Mostly because that's what people buy them, so that's what I have. They're two, though, they can suck it up for now.

[Katherine A.]

Is one of your son's name 'Even' or is it pronounced 'Evan'? Just curious, I haven't seen Even as a name before. :001_smile:

 

 

Opps i made a typo on my signature, going to go fix it :001_smile:

 

It's "Evan"

[Katherine A.]

I guess I should hope that none of those people hear me call my two non-twin boys Thing 1 and Thing 2. Sometimes I refer to them as Wee Beasties. Occasionally they are boybarians.

 

When they are together, they are almost never called by an actual name.

 

Tell me the truth...are they scarred for life?

 

And if I had that many kids to keep track of, every single one would be referred to as "Hey you" or maybe one of the pets names.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[The Girls' Mom]

I do occasionally refer to my twins at "the twins" or "the girls" (which in and of itself is funny because although I have THREE girls, in just saying "the girls" everyone knows I'm referring to the twins) But mostly I just say their names. I have been made aware recently that I tend to run them together like "Sarahanmiranda did such and such". So now I also worry about enunciation in addition to calling them something that means they are a unit. :glare:

 

THEY hate being called the twins. I never do it when addressing them. It's always when I'm typing or talking to someone else about them.

[AvasMom]

Everyone, i mean everyone , even me and dh

Calls our triplets "The Triplets"

And calls our twins "The Twins"

 

 

Is this bad? Someone told me we should stop, because it will make them feel like their not their own person?

 

I mean its so much easier to say "The Triplets" then 3 names, same thing applies to "The Twins"

 

So should we try to get out of the habbit & Tell people to stop? Or is it no big deal?

 

I vote no big deal. I refer to mine as "the kids" and so do most people I know. I have a friend whose kids have the initials J, A, and C. She calls them, as a group, JAC for short. :lol: I think it's so cute and much easier than calling them all by name when you are trying to get out the door!

[AvasMom]

I guess I should hope that none of those people hear me call my two non-twin boys Thing 1 and Thing 2. Sometimes I refer to them as Wee Beasties. Occasionally they are boybarians.

 

When they are together, they are almost never called by an actual name.

 

Tell me the truth...are they scarred for life?

 

And if I had that many kids to keep track of, every single one would be referred to as "Hey you" or maybe one of the pets names.

 

Oh my. Hope you don't mind if I go ahead and steal these. :lol: I'll use the singular form since I have but one "wee beastie." lol! We typically just call him Boy or The Boy.

[Katherine A.]

much easier than calling them all by name when you are trying to get out the door!

 

When trying to get out the door, i never call any of them by their names i usually say "you guys" :lol::lol: If i had to list all of them, by name, we would be even more late to wherever we're trying to go! :001_smile:

[redsquirrel]

We typically just call him Boy or The Boy.

 

We just had one for a while and he was almost always Boy or The Boy, a la Homer Simpson.