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It's ok to be an introvert....(expert opinion :) )


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"They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping."

 

I love this quote!

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I haven't had time to read the articles yet but just wanted to say that I despise the term "shy".

 

Shy implies that one has a fear. I'm an introvert but I am certainly not afraid of people. All my life I've had to battle that presupposition.

 

Must go pick up the kids or I would rant a little more about that. Probably better since this is all about a word in the title of the article, not the article itself.

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Thanks for posting this. As an introvert mother of two introverts, I am sick of introversion being type-casted as a disease born out of homeschooling. Homeschooling doesn't create introverts, but it does allow them to blossom at their own pace.

 

My brother, an uber-extrovert, has one son who is an introvert. For years, he would get on this kid's case for not being social and outgoing. He finally gets it that not everyone wants or needs to be the life of the party. My nephew is now in grad school and wants to be a sports broadcaster.

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"They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping."

 

I love this quote!

 

Me, too - my in-laws are extroverts and can't understand why everyone doesn't want to spend every waking hour talking and talking and talking - they think it is abnormal for a person to need to go off by themselves for a spell.

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Thanks for posting this. As an introvert mother of two introverts, I am sick of introversion being type-casted as a disease born out of homeschooling. Homeschooling doesn't create introverts, but it does allow them to blossom at their own pace.

 

 

:iagree:I get told far too often that my introverted children should go to school.

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I am an introvert surrounded by extrovert dh and both my kids.

However...I never really thought anything was wrong with me- although sometimes I do envy their party personalities, their ease with people. I can be shy but not usually- I can relate to being a sitter, watching and listening at social events. It is not an invisible position, either- people often ask for my opinion or come and connect with me.

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My question is how to be an introvert mother in a houseful of noisy chaos (with almost 6 children) :D I love my babies but get SO worn out.

 

THIS. Exactly. 4 out of 5 of mine are extraverts, and so is my dh. I think this dynamic is more challenging to me than anything else about my life, especially right now with an early-rising toddler. I am almost never alone, and sometimes it makes me feel like I am about to have a breakdown! I need to remember to schedule in alone times and stick to them religiously. Makes for a much happier, nicer Mommy!

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I'm another introvert in a house with six children, most/all of whom are also introverts, but who manage to be plenty loud enough within the safe comfort of home. And they wonder why I'm always escaping into the computer - that's how I find my alone time while simultaneously sitting in the middle of chaos ;)

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I am almost never alone, and sometimes it makes me feel like I am about to have a breakdown!

 

YES.

 

And they wonder why I'm always escaping into the computer - that's how I find my alone time while simultaneously sitting in the middle of chaos ;)

 

I'd never thought of it this way but I think you are right.

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I don't see shy and introversion as the same thing at all. It's possible to be both, but not necessarily.

 

I agree, I'm an introvert (INFJ apparently) but I'm not shy at all, have no problems leading and have good communication skills - I often do the talking for my highly-introverted DH. In fact to realise I was introverted was an epiphany to me, I always pushed myself to try and overcome it...

 

People just don't get that we find a big event or keeping up with lots of friends/activities exhausting.

 

I'm not sure about my children yet, but for my older two I think they lean towards introverted too...

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I haven't had time to read the articles yet but just wanted to say that I despise the term "shy".

 

Shy implies that one has a fear. I'm an introvert but I am certainly not afraid of people. All my life I've had to battle that presupposition.

 

Must go pick up the kids or I would rant a little more about that. Probably better since this is all about a word in the title of the article, not the article itself.

 

Argh! My father accused me of being afraid of people, and walked off sighing sadly and shaking his head at my perceived lie when I said I wasn't. I don't know what he thought I, a humanities student at the time, did all day. I read stuff, conversed, read more stuff and conversed some more! :lol: What's really weird is Dad is also an introvert. :rolleyes:

 

My self esteem has just risen twenty notches now an expert has told me I'm ok. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

Rosie

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I've known so many people who harbor misperceptions of folks who are introverts. I believe this is why I've often been misunderstood, why my ds is often misunderstood, etc, even by friends. I'll tell ya - we've known some very frustrating times (he and I) - of being falsely accused, labeled as "anti-social", and the likes. This is a great article. I'm glad you posted it.

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The article reminds me of this book I read awhile back, The Introvert Adnvantage. Totally explains dh, me, and most (all?) of our kids. Mil called dd5 a diva :confused: the other day and dh was able to respond, "No, she's an introvert and I think most people don't know what that means." :lol:

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Another introvert here with a very strong need to be alone in my own home sometimes. In the past, I've subtly suggested that DH take the kids out for an activity. I always thought I was trying to foster more together time for them (both very much mama's kids). Now I realize I've been trying to engineer my alone time. With this realization, I think I'll be more direct with husband about my need to have some alone time.

 

Here's a blog I follow: The Introvert's Corner

 

Especially interesting article theorizing extreme introversion as being on the autism spectrum.

 

Pam

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I am introverted as well. I like to say I am Very outgoing...but I am not social.:D. I genuinely like people, and I enjoy a good conversation....but I do not want to hang out or go for lunch, I do not want to go to gatherings or parties. I enjoy my alone time...I like to be able to think my thoughts and I like quiet....I drove my extremely extroverted mom crazy. She could not understand how I would choose to be home over going out to the mall or dinner etc.

 

Dh is very extroverted as are 3 of our 7 kids. 2 are very like me...and 2 are very medium.

 

Faithe

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Thanks for posting this. As an introvert mother of two introverts, I am sick of introversion being type-casted as a disease born out of homeschooling. Homeschooling doesn't create introverts, but it does allow them to blossom at their own pace.

 

Thank you! My children have blamed homeschooling for their introversion for years. I have tried to explain that while it may be my fault (genetics) it is not for homeschooling them. I have five children of varying levels of introversion and one extrovert who is driving us all crazy.

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