heartosunshine Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I'm just curious how much you tell your kids about the family finances? Do you share more as they get older (pre-teen, teen)? :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 We don't hide anything from the kids... well we really can't too much anyway. Dh and I both work from home and we homeschool. Doesn't leave much for time to talk without kids around. Still we don't hide anything. My parents didn't either. I knew what they could afford and what they couldn't. My kids know it too. It helps immensely with real life skills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 In a general kind of way, they know how our finances are. Our financial situation has changed over time and it helps to set expectations for the kids to know that sometimes there is money available for extra activities/trips and that sometimes we are saving every penny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Yes, the amount we share depends on their age. At 12, the kids know our salary, the amount of our mortgage payment and utilities. They know how much it costs to shop for groceries, to travel, to pay for extracurriculars. they know what percentage of our income we save. We felt comfortable sharing information about salary and house payment when the kids were mature enough to understand that this is personal, private information which is not intended for comparison with friends- so around age 11/12. Before that, our financial discussions were less specific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Everything, unfortunately. I hate that they know, but it was to the point of sit down and try and understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I have one who doesn't have a verbal filter so in the interest of not advertising our personal situation to the whole world the flow of information in this regard is limited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartosunshine Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 At 12, the kids know our salary, the amount of our mortgage payment and utilities. They know how much it costs to shop for groceries, to travel, to pay for extracurriculars. they know what percentage of our income we save. We felt comfortable sharing information about salary and house payment when the kids were mature enough to understand that this is personal, private information which is not intended for comparison with friends- so around age 11/12. Before that, our financial discussions were less specific. This is kind of what I was thinking. Now that my kids are a little older, I feel like they need more info to understand our financial situation better. (And know why we don't rush right out & buy a new flat screen tv when we have to save for a new ac unit for the house) It sounds like pp's felt more prepared to handle their own finances, when the time came, if their parents discussed the family finances openly. Another learning opportunity! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I didn't know my parent's salary until I had to fill out the FAFSA for college. Before that, though, I did have very detailed knowledge of a lot of our finances. I even knew how much our house cost, but that was because I helped my mom when she was looking for a new one. I think it is great for kids to know about budgeting. I still remember one time when my dad was laid off and my parents sat us down and walked us through our new budget. They told us how much money we had in each category for every month (I was the oldest and about 13?). I remember them having a date budget and thinking that was excessive and not important, but they told us that it was very important for mom and dad to be able to spend quality time together away from the kids. From then on, when I wanted something, I knew whether or not to ask for it because it was or wasn't something we could afford. I found it very helpful as a kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liza Q Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 They don't know exact numbers but they understand our general situation. I have told them but they forget....hey, I often forget how much we have in savings or how much we still owe on our mortgage! That sort of information doesn't stick well. Thankfully, my husband keeps excellent track!! ETA: They understand well enough that the two oldest are content to stay home during college and are motivated to get through college debt-free if possible. I think that they do see the big picture pretty well!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I don't make it a point to sit down with all of my children and run the numbers with them, but we don't hide anything on purpose. I did sit down with dd19 just recently and showed her my bank accounts: savings, checking, car loans, credit card, mortgage. I showed her the actual bills that are necessary. I showed her how we decide what 'fun money' we can have. It's one thing to learn about these things in her consumer math course, but seeing the real life numbers really surprised her. She is planning on moving out by the end of the year and she realized that her expectations were WAY off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 It sounds like pp's felt more prepared to handle their own finances, when the time came, if their parents discussed the family finances openly. Another learning opportunity! :D I tend to think this - OTOH, I know it is not strictly necessary. I grew up having no idea what my parent's incomes were and what they paid for mortgage and utilities - I knew the cost of groceries and stuff, but that was it. Nevertheless, once I moved out and had to budget I had absolutely no trouble managing money, even though that time coincided with a huge shift in economic systems: I had grown up in a communist country, and moved out on my own the year we transitioned to a capitalist market based economy. So, even though I do my best to educate my kids about finances, I am wondering whether there are not some fundamental character related skills that help a young person manage money. First and foremost, delayed gratification comes to my mind, along with a general attitude of not being oriented towards consumerism. Both delayed gratification and non-consumerism were main features in my childhood - there was little stuff, and you had to wait for LONG times. I wonder whether not THIS had a major effect on my relationship with money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 My parents never told us anything about finances -- in retrospect, I realize that having both grown up in poverty themselves, they urgently wanted to spare us the anxiety that had characterized their own childhoods. Whatever the reason, it made no difference -- I have never had any trouble at all handling my own finances. My children are young and I don't see the need for them to know specifics. I do think that my parents would have done themselves a big favor by sharing some more specifics while I was in college. My parents were not particularly knowledgeable about the financial aid system and I think that if I had actually had a clue about what was going on with their finances, I could probably have negotiated a better deal with the financial aid office. But I certainly can't blame them, far from it -- they were so happy to be able to send me to a school that was perfect for me and just wanted me to focus on my education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liza Q Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Do you share more as they get older (pre-teen, teen)? :bigear: We sat both our older girls down when they were about 17 and went through everything - tax returns, mortgage, savings, monthly bills, etc. Before that it was more general talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 They generally know, and aren't interested in the details. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 So, even though I do my best to educate my kids about finances, I am wondering whether there are not some fundamental character related skills that help a young person manage money. First and foremost, delayed gratification comes to my mind, along with a general attitude of not being oriented towards consumerism. Both delayed gratification and non-consumerism were main features in my childhood - there was little stuff, and you had to wait for LONG times. I wonder whether not THIS had a major effect on my relationship with money. :iagree: Along with teaching that saving for emergencies/raining days is critical and every dollar spent is a choice. A choice to save or a choice to spend. A choice to spend on A or B. I think that teaching the things listed above and helping your dc manage their own money goes a long way. I never knew the details of my parent's financial situation, but I definitely knew how to manage finances before I graduated from high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 At 8 and 11, they know the general situation and they know our financial goals, but not actual numbers. We are finally recovering after a long layoff. So, the kids know that money was super, duper tight and now it's not. They still don't ask for things when we are shopping, but have really appreciated being able to do some fun "pay" things again-like movies and bowling. We include them in our financial goals because I think it's healthy for them to see a positive model of fiscal responsiblity. We do not concern them with specific money problems or adult concerns. They both have their own savings account, which helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 I probably would as they get older....right now zach knows basicly that dad works-gets a paycheck and we use the paycheck to pay bills and when the money runs out that's it! LOL simple.....but I think he has the same mentality as my nephew did years ago--my nephew thought that if you had CHECKS that mean you had money in the bank LOL.... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Dd has very little knowledge of the actual numbers. She knows we pay rent and a mortgage and that we are okay but by no means overly comfortable. She is a worrier in a big way. I don't see any need to add to her worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Our kids have all known. As they get older we have used our bank statements and bills as real-world math problems. As a previous poster stated, I think it really helps cut down on unrealistic expectations from the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 I have one who doesn't have a verbal filter so in the interest of not advertising our personal situation to the whole world the flow of information in this regard is limited. This. . . If we weren't small business owners, I'd be a lot more open with the kids. . . as we'd have less to lose if the kids were indiscreet. (Just our reputation, not our livelihood.) But, I could see them blabbing/bragging to their friends, and then that could come back to bite us in the butt if people/clients thought we were making a lot more than we actually do. When they hit 16 or so, and I trust they can keep confidential things quiet, I will be a lot more open. However, as it is, I could totally see my 12 yo blabbing that "Dad made $4000 in one day last Friday!" when, in reality, that was $4000 inflow into a business that we support our family, plus 12 staff . . . and business expenses eat up the vast majority of that inflow long before we see any of it. . . Plus a good day must make up for the slow days when expenses do not take a break. . . Likewise, it would take a long, detailed explanation of student loans, taxes, lesson fees, mortgages, business loans, risk/reward analysis, etc for any kid to understand how our finances work. . . At first glance they'd think we were loaded, but, really we are NOT. Anyhow, those issues x10 is the thing that keeps me mum on some financial details. . . When they hit an appropriate age, I do plan to fully inform them, as I think it is really healthy and worthwhile to start to understand these issues as a teen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 They know ball park figures. We have talked a lot about finances, savings, long term retirement savings, and spending. We not only talk to them about it in regards to thier money, but ours as a family also. They know that we are much more financially stable and comfortable with a large savings, than thier friend's parents who have similiar imcomes, but spend money more freely. Several of my kid's bffs families have gone through financial crisis in these past few years. The kids are aware of financial troubles, mainly due to the parents fighting about money in front of them. These have given us many opprotunities to discuss finances and the ramifications of spending vs. buying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 They know exactly how much DH makes, what bills we can pay, those we have to put off for a week. They understand why they can't have the new toy, or when they can spend our (the family) money. Knowledge is important, if they see and understand the issues now, hopefully they won't make as many mistakes when they're older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfatherslily Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 LOL, my oldest is still very young and thinks I'm rich, so I have no actual experience here yet:) We did use it in math the other day though, when she was subtracting hundreds - "Okay, if mommy just put $780 in the bank and now she gets to pay the mortgage for $560, how much money will mommy have left to buy groceries, gas, and to pay the electricity bill?" :) I have no intention of intentionally hiding anything from them, but like I said, we're just not the point yet where I have to work it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 They know we're comfortably off. They know DH has a well-paying job. They don't know how well off I am personally, otherwise I think they'd really push to get me to buy more for them :tongue_smilie:. They know how much the house cost and how much my weekly grocery bill is. DS12 has just been trying to find out how much I pay my cleaners, but I feel that's my business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Everything, unfortunately. I hate that they know, but it was to the point of sit down and try and understand. :grouphug: My kids know pretty much everything, but I don't mind. I really view it as a moving towards adulthood in a very positive way, that they know how financial matters in the real world work. Would it help you to look at it that way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 At this age (13-14), I suppose that they pretty much know as much as they want to know. Maybe without all the juicy details or exact numbers on all accounts, but they seem to be very good at approximation where do we stand compared to other people, what is and what is not reasonable to ask or expect, and so forth. We consciously hide very little from them, if they asked for more details, we would probably offer them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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