Do you have a no-nudity-with-friends-policy?

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I just found out a friend is getting certified to become a mw. I don't think I'd change the one who's delivered all of my babies anyway, but I got to thinking about the idea of knowing someone outside of a mw office/dr's office & then knowing them *inside* it.

 

It's heart-warming & run-screaming at the same time. I think I'm voting in favor of the no-nudity-w/-friends policy. Sorry, MW Friend.

 

Then this will definitely make you want to run screaming.

 

When I was in the Navy, my last ship was big enough to have its own doctor (rather than an independent duty corpsman). The first doctor was a woman. But her relief was a male doctor. Nice guy, but it meant that when it was time for my annual exam, it was done by someone that I then ate lunch with.

 

I will give him credit that he was incredibly professional.

[Aubrey]

I am right there with you Aubrey....no male OB's. Nope. Can't do it.

 

Definitely have a no nudity policy w/ everyone but my OB and dh I guess :)

 

Not even my parents were there when I gave birth. Just me, dh, the dr and oh 14 or so assistants, nurses, etc. (I think the hospital janitor might have been there but I wasn't counting)

 

We have 2 friends who are nurse anesthetists (guys!:eek:) Here's hoping I never have to have anything done at their hospitals!!!

 

I went to see some mw's who work out of a hospital here w/ #4. The lady I met w/ was truly, truly awful, & I left very determined to never go back, BUT on the way out, we passed one of the janitors, & I lost it. There were SO. MANY. PEOPLE. there. I can't handle that many people when I'm in a good mood & my clothes are ON.

 

I was still ranting like a crazy person when we pulled out of the parking garage. :lol:

[Holly]

Honestly, btwn late OB appts, then the labour and delivery process, I feel so much like a molested Muppet at that point that nudity wouldn't occur to me to care about.

 

:smilielol5:I know that exact feeling...I've just never seen it in words before.

[HayesW]

I have been a doula and a photographer at several friends births. You wouldn't BELIEVE some of the photos on my computer. I still see them, and talk to them. Nudity during birth is different than seeing someone in the shower.

[MeaganS]

I've realized with my last 2 births, that for the week before and the two or three weeks after, I don't care a bit who sees me sans clothes. My mom, her best friend, my sister, some of my female friends... all have seen me at that time. Any other time and place, I'm very modest and concerned about it, but not during baby-having time!

[LidiyaDawn]

Friends/etc watching birth? Are you kidding? I don't even want my husband watching. :tongue_smilie:

[Impish]

I've always been very clear that birth is not a spectator sport. If you weren't there for the conception, don't expect to be there for the delivery.

[fairfarmhand]

I've always been very clear that birth is not a spectator sport. If you weren't there for the conception, don't expect to be there for the delivery.

 

:lol:

 

I went to school with a young man who attended his Sister In Law's birth. The guy was 17 !!!! To this day that stuns me.

[texasmama]

I'm always tempted to birth alone. Theoretically, I'd prefer not even dh to be there. I mean, I'm always glad he & mw were there afterward, you know. Just not before hand.

 

With my last pg, I had a recurring fantasy of disappearing into our big bathtub and coming out in a bit with a baby.:tongue_smilie: The doc didn't make it in time for that birth, and dh and the nurse were both Nervous Nellies. The only person I really needed was my doula.

[Paige]

I knew two doulas when I delivered my twins and I chose the one who was an acquaintance and not a friend. I would not have been comfortable with a friend in there who I was going to see all the time after the birth. With my last, my very good friend was a L&D nurse at the hospital I was going to deliver. She wanted me to let her know when I went in and she would try to get a shift so she could be my nurse or she would at least come as a labor support friend. I told her she could be in the room and come but I did not want her checking my cervix! It would just be weird. I was, however, more comfortable with the idea of her being there than I would have been in my first deliveries. By that time, I knew how I handled labor and knew that I wouldn't embarrass myself or make anyone uncomfortable. It turned out that my nurse friend had a family emergency and couldn't be there, but I think I would have been fine. My mom was good friends with our OB/GYN when I was a kid/teen. We would schedule our appointments so that we could go to lunch with her right after. I thought it was a little weird now to head for lunch after that but they acted like it was no big deal.

[JeneralMom]

For DS7 I only ever saw my midwife until I went into labour and got to the birth center (attached to a hospital so kind of like a med birth center) and saw the admit nurse and she was evil. When my midwife came it was only her and a new nurse and my DH. With DS6 I only saw the same midwife until hospital, then the admit nurse and the mw who came to deliver the baby. DH and I were alone in the room when DS6 came and the nurses heard me yell and then so many people streamed into the room I lost count. With DD4, a friend was training to be a doula and had to attend a certain # of births, so asked if she could be there, and we agreed. I was really worried that it would be awkward but it wasn't during the birth, nor was it after. With DD2 I saw a midwife in KS and then we moved to TX so I saw a team of homebirth midwives here. They and DH were the only ones at the birth. DS7 wanted to be there, but I made him leave right at the end. My dear friend was downstairs looking after the kids, and my DD4 who was 2 at the time wanted to come see me, and because I don't make noise or scream or anything, she didn't realize the baby was in the process of being born and walked in maybe 5 seconds after the baby came out with her DH trailing behind her. She was able to stop him at the door and make him turn so she didn't really see anything other than a baby coming up out of the water.

 

I would not have a friend as OB/MW because it would change the dynamic of the friendship and what if something went wrong - I would never be comfortable with them again.

[Mejane]

Yes. My friends think I'm in "great shape", and I'd like to keep it that way. :D

[MSNative]

I've always been very clear that birth is not a spectator sport. If you weren't there for the conception, don't expect to be there for the delivery.

:iagree: Yep.

 

BTW - Bill, you cracked me up. Now I'm wondering if I can friend Johnny Depp.....;)

[coffeefreak]

YUP! No nudity with friends here! I have a friend who had a home birth in October. Several of our friends joined her for her water birth, and I was blessedly, out of town. I am not a prude, but I feel like child-birth is private. I will let any medical staff (including interns and Midwives in training) that want to party with me come on in, but family and friends are banned until the baby is clean and at home. If I'm in a situation where I'm changing in the same room as others, I politely turn my back and avert my eyes.

 

Just me :)

Dorinda

[coffeefreak]

I've always been very clear that birth is not a spectator sport. If you weren't there for the conception, don't expect to be there for the delivery.

 

Imp, you're killing me. But I soooooooooo :iagree:

[jenniferlee]

My best friend was there for my first labor - total nudity.

She then got certified as a midwife and delivered 2 more of my children.

and she was there for the last baby as well. (more as a doula).

I felt a tiny bit awkward for the first delivery, but it turned out to be not a big deal at all. She was very "professional" and I was in labor (which has always changed all my perceptions about the world at the time- (I am normally a fairly modest person).

[Mom-ninja.]

I have a no-nudity-with-strangers policy. ;)

 

:lol:

 

 

The first time I went to my GYN and the nurse told me to undress and wait, I remained fully clothed. The Dr. came in and introduced herself and we discussed things. She told me she was glad I remained dressed as it's much nicer for a woman to actually meet the person, who is doing the exam, before taking off her clothes.

 

I've had two friends present during my births. They saw me in all my glory, and it doesn't bother me in the least.

 

Just a couple months ago I went with a friend to Nordstrom for a bra fitting. We both went in the same stall to get measured and try on bras. It's just not a big deal to me.

 

 

Imp, I share your opinion about spectators at birth. My mother and aunt both tried to invite themselves to my births. Nope, sorry. Not happening. I told them the exact quote you gave. My friends that were present were there because one was a doula and the other was the apprentice midwife.

Edited May 6, 2011 by Kleine Hexe

[coffeefreak]

I don't want anyone touching me. And the murmurs of encouragement...well, dh says I'm hard to encourage. I wouldn't say this to my mw directly, but when she leaves the room, I growl to my dh, "I'm not doing a 'good job'--I'm having a baby. I'd absolutely stop the process & go have a cup of coffee, given the choice." :lol:

 

I'm always tempted to birth alone. Theoretically, I'd prefer not even dh to be there. I mean, I'm always glad he & mw were there afterward, you know. Just not before hand.

 

OMG!:lol: With our youngest, I told dh if ANYONE called me a "trooper" like they did with our oldest, they would be killed and divorced (hint hint). I will admit to accosting the midwife when she tried to check me during a contraction. Not one of my finer moments, but really, she was way too timid and let her guard down.:lol:

 

ETA: OH, and his family has a habit of saying, "Yup, this one's a Keeper." That was also banned because my thought when they said this about my oldest was, "If she's not a keeper, where do you think she's going to go?!? She's not going back in!"

Edited May 6, 2011 by coffeefreak

[silliness7]

I don't think a mw friend would bother me but when I went looking for a urologist I went with a colleague in a church member's practice instead of with him personally. *That* would have made me VERY uncomfortable.

[Impish]

:lol:

Imp, I share your opinion about spectators at birth. My mother and aunt both tried to invite themselves to my births. Nope, sorry. Not happening. I told them the exact quote you gave. My friends that were present were there because one was a doula and the other was the apprentice midwife.

One of my sisters in law had her dh, her mom, her dad, her sister, my parents in the room. I gag at the thought.

 

My MIL was in town until 2 wks before Princess was born. She tried to demand that Wolf come and get her after DROPPING ME OFF at the hospital if I went into labour while she was in town. Wolf, thankfully, isn't that dumb, and told her off.

[justamouse]

I will say yes, up until transition. At that time you can run a marching band through the room and I Will. Not. Care. Just get it *OUT*.

[DesertDweller]

If it's because they're a medical professional, no problem. That's just what they do and have probably seen it all anyway.

 

As far as inviting friends to be a part of labor and delivery, dh was lucky I let him be there. It's just not happening.

[missiemick]

I can't even let my sister clean my teeth -- too personal.

[Jean in Newcastle]

This reminds me of when my MIL was very ill and needed some pretty intimate care. I was floored when her daughters both refused to do it for her! They said, "You do it," to me. I did, but I really thought that it would have been more comfortable for her to have her daughters helping her that way.

[Plucky]

This reminds me of when my MIL was very ill and needed some pretty intimate care. I was floored when her daughters both refused to do it for her! They said, "You do it," to me. I did, but I really thought that it would have been more comfortable for her to have her daughters helping her that way.

 

Yes! That is what I was trying to get at with my s/o thread. Love means getting past fears and discomforts to meet a loved one's need.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I watch Gray's Anatomy, and I have two sister's who are nurses (one is labor a delivery). It's all professional until you get a room of professionals gossiping. They remember it all. :001_huh:

 

I would NEVER be comfortable having a baby withy anyone I know, sisters or friends, present. And I've never had to give birth to have a baby. Oh you should hear the stories.

 

And maybe that is a big difference between baby-factory hospitals and a home birth. It is a privilege to attend a home birth. You have to be invited. Those who attend treat it as a sacred thing, not something to be gossiped about. A homebirth midwife treats a birth as something to be honored. A midwife isn't so much a "professional" (yes they are professional, as in skilled, discrete, etc.) but she is a guide and a friend on this journey.

[mamachanse]

My midwife is a dear friend after seeing me through two pregnancies and holding my cervix open for a few hours. Nudity with friends wouldn't bother me. :)

[SnowWhite]

No, I don't have this policy. I've shared a shower/locker room with my MIL.... awkward much? It's just not a big deal to me. I'm very modest generally, but I do not worry about other women. I nurse in front of them and don't mind changing in front of them, but I do draw the line at unclothed massages- that's just too weird to me. I guess because it seems so superfluous.

[MamaT]

My OB and his wife were good friends of ours and we went to church with them. I say "were" because we have since moved away and lost touch. It was not a problem for me.

 

I also have been present at the birth of my best friend's babies and neither one of use had a problem with it. She couldn't attend mine because I had C-sections.

 

Just undressing or being naked in front of a friend for no good reason - um, no.

[SnowWhite]

I posted before reading the thread--- Oh, I'm definitely a female ob/gyn chooser, and I definitely want my children and my friends to stay FAR AWAY until I'm back in my own nightgown and the baby's all cleaned up, etc. The only people I want in my birth rooms are dh, my mom (preferably after most of the action is over unless I'm medicated- she panics), and my attendees--- but I wouldn't mind if a friend was an attendee as long as she didn't want to *chat* while I was doing my bit. (I had a friend "stop by" too far into the labor process with oldest ds and to say that I was short with her would be sugar coating the exchange.)

[Virg]

I have no problems with nudity and friends lol. My BFF today is still the same one from my childhood. We all swam competitively, year-round, before and after school, weekends too, for YEARS. This included tons of naked locker room time and the rest of the time we didn't have much more on. It killed my modesty completely. At swim meets we were mostly naked while hundreds of people around us were fully clothed for three full days. It is a weird thing you just get used to and no longer care about at all. (At least for everyone on my team, a bunch of us are still friends but I won't speak for all swimmers.)

 

Right now my BFF is going to school to be a nurse and I would love to have her help me birth :) I will admit I know I am not normal...

[RahRah]

With baby-DS born in January, I had to decide if my modesty was more important or having the *best hands* for surgery was since I was going to have to have a c-section. Best hands won and DH's best bud, whom we're good friends with, was my OB for the pregnancy. I thought it was going to be very weird - I mean we all socialize together and are friends - but it was honestly a much better OB experience because, I think, he knew me - I wasn't just another chart.