Eldest child= guinea pig

[Ravin]

I've begun a mental checklist of things I'll do differently with DS because they didn't work so well with DD, or because I found out about different options later. (Ex: Drew Campbell's new Latin curriculum looks like it would have been perfect as a follow-on from Song School Latin for DD this year, we went through a couple of different math curricula in 1st grade, etc.)

 

Foremost among these is that I intend to be be more laid-back and not in such a hurry to get started with DS. I was busting out Kumon workbooks with DD when she was 3 1/2. We got off on a bad start with math, too. With DS, I may not start formal instruction until he's 7, depending on his interest level. That will give me a lot more time to figure out his learning style and natural inclinations and gifts before spending money on curricula.

 

So, how much was your eldest an experimental subject to the benefit of later children? What did you do with your first that you didn't do with your second because it didn't work? Or have you had children so different from each other that you're at square one with each, each time?

[Jen500]

Or have you had children so different from each other that you're at square one with each, each time?

 

This.

[Impish]

I think that the first kid being the experiment is totally normal. In everything. Seriously, with my first, I was uber paranoid about everything. 2nd kid, more relaxed. 3rd, more still...then the 4th...

 

Dog slobber on the eldest = my taking flight.

 

On my youngest = "You missed a spot...there's food by her ear"

[StephanieZ]

I say that about my oldest all the time. Poor kid. I've gotten to be a better teacher with each subsequent kid, so each one has an easier time of it, as I know what to emphasize, what to skip, what to start when. . .

[mathewsgang]

I think they're all unique, but you do find things that work better for nearly all. God makes the first pretty resilient for a reason. :)

[ocelotmom]

So, how much was your eldest an experimental subject to the benefit of later children? What did you do with your first that you didn't do with your second because it didn't work? Or have you had children so different from each other that you're at square one with each, each time?

 

Kinda both.

 

If I had another kid like DS, I'd definitely take a more relaxed approach. But DD1 is chomping at the bit, and doesn't need or want a relaxed approach, so that's out the window for now.

 

On the other hand, I've discovered that, for example, I need a more structured math curriculum rather than just winging it, and that probably applies to any kid (unless I end up with one who just naturally understands math concepts and is doing calculus at 3 or something).

 

I think new things coming out is ALWAYS going to be an issue. Kind of like, any time you finally decide to buy a new computer, a better one comes out shortly afterwards.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree with "both". I wasn't as anxious with my second and wasn't trying to push things along as much. But - she's pushed me to do certain things earlier than her brother. And then when we've done them I've discovered that much of what ds loved is a bust with dd.

[Carrie12345]

Pretty much square one.

My eldest has Asperger's. That hasn't done very much to prepare me for the second in line, who is also opposite gender. Then my 3rd is ADHD/dyslexic, so she requires all new techniques. My 4th will (maybe?) be my first neurotypical boy. And who knows with the baby? :lol:

[Mommy22alyns]

Both here too. I do feel for Becca, being our guinea pig, but Sylvia does require some of her own innovations. :D

[Parrothead]

Then there are those poor only children. :D

[Tap]

My three children are all radically different from one another. I don't see much that I learned with ds16 benefiting dd12 or dd4. The things I would do different with him, don't apply to the girls.

 

Ds16 is very math/science minded and VERY logical (to the point of not understanding others emotional outbursts). He is quiet and meak.

 

Dd12 is logical but has an emotional side too. She is hugely creative and if she walks into a room, you notice. She is full of personality.

 

Dd4 is diagnosed as PDD and likely will end up with an Aspergers diagnosis. She also shows early signs that she could be Bi-poloar (she has a strong gentic line on both sides-she is adopted). To say she is uniqe....does't do her justice. LOL

 

 

What I have noticed, is where my own strengths lie and fail. I know that I do best with a schedule, but will not follow one for long. Due to this, unit studies are great. Little mini-schedules for a week or two are great for me.

 

I know I need the kids to be independent on the boring tasks like spelling and vocab. They need to be able to do the work without me. If we get going on something interesting, we will run out of time and then need to be able to do those tasks once I have gone to work.

 

 

I have been the guinea pig...more than they have LOL

[4wildberrys]

I think that the first kid being the experiment is totally normal. In everything. Seriously, with my first, I was uber paranoid about everything. 2nd kid, more relaxed. 3rd, more still...then the 4th...

 

Dog slobber on the eldest = my taking flight.

 

On my youngest = "You missed a spot...there's food by her ear"

:iagree:

 

And the name younger ds coined it is that his sister is 'The Prototype'..lol! It's normal and dd knows that we have always done what we felt was best, and if we learned it didn't work and did something different with ds, especially with school, that's just life ;)

[eternalknot]

So, how much was your eldest an experimental subject to the benefit of later children? What did you do with your first that you didn't do with your second because it didn't work? Or have you had children so different from each other that you're at square one with each, each time?

 

I guess I'm fortunate in the sense that I come from a large family who, in turn, has had a large family. My little siblings were my first true guinea pigs :D and then later I also experimented on neices, nephews, and younger cousins.

 

By the time I got to having kids of my own, I had my flow down LOL. We have so many different personality types in my extended family that I've got lots of references to refer to for any child's given different personality!

[Mrs Mungo]

This.

 

:iagree: I get to screw up with each one in their own special way.

[ElizabethB]

I practiced on other people's children! I had phonics down, and have 20 different books just in case. I tell people only half-jokingly that I should have practiced on other people's children for math. (I had tutored Algebra and Trig, but not elementary math. Before reading Liping Ma and switching to Singapore, I thought that there was only one way to explain elementary math, and was shocked when my daughter did not get it with traditionally taught math. When an older neighbor girl had trouble with fractions last year, I jumped at the chance to have a fraction guinea pig!! Unfortunately, my daughter gets fractions but took forever to get long division. I read every long division post in existence.)

 

I am the guinea pig for Latin. I worked through a bit myself, and tried about 5 programs before finding one that made sense to me. I'm finally learning Latin with Latin Alive and that makes it easy to teach their lower level LfC.

[EthiopianFood]

:iagree: I get to screw up with each one in their own special way.

 

:lol:

[Peela]

My two are close in age- and very different personalities- so it hasn't been an issue at all.

 

However they have a half sister 5 years older than my oldest. I learnt a lot of how not to parent, and what not to do, from watching her parents, and being with her. She's pretty damaged emotionally. But academically- she is dyslexic like dh, her dad, and ds, her half brother- and it wasn't dealt with at all, and she just did terribly at school. Her mum put her on the ADHD drugs in highschool (without dh's knowledge or permission) and it turned her into a spaced out, sweet, kind of flat robot, who did no better at school but was probably easier for a teacher to handle. SHe sold her tablets to other kids, and is now an alcoholic- however she did just get into university as a mature aged student so hopefully she is turning her life around.

We learnt a lot from her. Her next youngest brother, who spent a lot of time with us, and who I homeschooled for a year, was also messed up.

 

But my 2- my first was so easy to rear, still is- I have learned a lot from parenting the 2nd- but I didnt have any more to use what i learned :)

[Natalieclare]

The number one change I made with my second batch of kids was to stop offering choices so early. Oh. my. stars. It made such a difference! With my first batch of kids, it went something like this:

 

kids: Mom, we're thirsty. May we have some juice? (this was back when we used to get juice.)

 

Mom, with bright sparkly smile: Why, sure! Would you like the red cup or the blue cup, Child Number One?

 

Child#1: I want the red cup.

 

Children 2 &3: What?!>?! I waaaant reeeeeed cup! Why does she alwaaaaays get the red cup?????

 

Child #4 was my transition child. Now it looks something like this:

 

kids: Mom, will you help us get some water?

 

Mom: Sure. <gets out cups, plops them in front of children>

 

child #5: I waanted a different cup!!!!

 

Mom and child #4 in unison: You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!

 

I fully expect child #5 to begin helping me indoctrinate the baby in the new method any day now.

[leeannpal]

Well, since I've got and only, I suppose she will be a guinea pig of sorts. We will be starting much later (age 9) than many people do, so she will certainly have a lot of input in what we choose to do. I hope she doesn't feel like a guinea pig someday!

[Lady Florida.]

An only child is a guinea pig, and then you don't get to use what you learned from the "experiments". :lol:

 

Technically mine's not an only since dh already raised one. However, I've made some choices that dh wouldn't have made, and didn't make with his older son, even if he thinks those choices were the right ones.

 

 

Dss was a teen, being raised by dh, when I met them, so I actually went through raising a teenager before I experienced the baby and child stage. In a way I guess we had 2 guinea pigs. :D

[mommaduck]

Then there are those poor only children. :D

LOL! I don't feel too badly...there are pros to those families as well.

 

I was the guinea pig...I was also chopped liver at times. My oldest KNOWS he's the guinea pig. He knows that it can't be helped; it is just part of the packaged deal when you are the oldest. He also knows though that we, as parents, have learned that sometimes we are starting from scratch with another kid because they are so different. It goes both ways depending on the issue.

[KidsHappen]

:iagree: I get to screw up with each one in their own special way.

 

This is me! :001_smile:

[sewingmama]

Well my kids are so close in age I didn't really get to experiment much on the oldest before the next came along - now they are all kind of lumped in together with my parenting experiments :D

 

I am enjoying my third child more as a baby though then the first two -it's easier to relax and know what is just a stage and when something is truely wrong. After you have more then one child you do realise that things pass and they get over it :) I was always worried things were wrong with my DD but I saw that she grew out of a lot of things as she got older and now with the youngest instead of worrying I can just say "Oh DD/DS did that at that age - it's nothing, he'll grow out of it" - and it is easier to bear 2yo tantrums that way knowing it's just a stage a lot of children go through as opposed to feeling intense guilt that the reason my 2yo is throwing a huge tantrum is that I'm a crappy parent with no clue on child raising:D