I think we have started a bad habit and now I don't know what to do...

[ProudGrandma]

When the children were really little, we would put very soft, quiet music on until they fell asleep...and now here they are 10, 9 and 6 and they still think they need music to fall asleep. I never thought it would last this long, but it has. It wouldn't bother me so much except there are nights when my 10 year old dd won't fall asleep for hours becasue she is so fretful that if her music runs out and we find out about it, we won't let her restart it, so she watches carefully so to catch it before it stops. Did that make sense? Not only am I concerned that she will stay awake too long and not get enough sleep...I wake her almost every morning, but also that we can't go anywhere overnight without their music...and I am beginning to think it is silly now. My 9 year ds (has sensory issues and insists on things never changing, so I am less inclined to take his music away, but how do you take one's music away and not the other).

 

Does anybody have any advice for me...or just thoughts in general. thanks.

[ChristusG]

Lots of people need certain things to fall asleep whether it be music, white noise, or the sound of a television going. We use a fan each night. I think I'd just find a way for it to play continuously.

[Sherry in OH]

Give your daughter permission to restart the music if it runs out before she is asleep. If getting out of bed is an issue, put the music player next to her bed.

[ProudGrandma]

wow...I was expecting to get my hand slapped for starting a bad habit in my kids...oh thank you for your ideas...I really appreciate it.

[Lolly]

I wouldn't worry about it. I know a lot of people who listen to music while they sleep. If they sleep with people who don't like music to sleep to, they use earbuds. I wouldn't make a problem out of something that doesn't have to be one.

[SEP]

buy a cd player with repeat and a 'sleep' function.

 

set it for the 2 hr period and just say that is the limit. it saves you from having to go back in there.

 

i would change it up to a book on tape, if were me. if they are going to listen to something at least it could be teaching them as well... :) the library has tons of choices. choose ones above their reading level.

 

for years i put music/books on tape on for my children at bedtime. once my children can independently read then they cannot listen to their cd players at bedtime. they can either read for 30 mins-60 mins (depending on when we got them in bed) or go to sleep.

 

however my 2nd dd still would prefer a cd, so at least once a week i let her listen to a book at bedtime.

 

i debate on whether it would be better for her to listen to more challenging books at bedtime or read her level books. however, i'm afraid she will never read for leisure if i don't set it up now.

 

also, mp3 are a great choice for trips. headphones in and everyone has their books. you don't have to go the ipod route-walmart has great inexpensive sony ones.

[mo2]

I think it's fine. I like white noise (fan) to help me sleep. It drowns out all the little noises in the house that would keep me up otherwise, but I can still hear things like the kids crying.

[speedmom4]

My kids have always listened to books on tape/CD to fall asleep. My oldest son has anxiety issues about it. He wants to fall asleep with it on. He has special needs and epilepsy. Sleep is a huge issue for him. I think the best thing is consistency. If I know my son has had a rough night I just let him sleep a little more in the morning.

 

HTH,

Elise in NC

[happi duck]

My sister has always slept with the radio playing.

[ProudGrandma]

her music is on her Mp3 player...I figured out how to loop the music, but haven't yet figured out if there is a sleep mode...I'll have to look a little bit to see if I can find that. I don't know why I didn't think of that before...a duh moment...

[Sasharowan]

Dd11 still plays music to sleep by. She just has to keep it turned down where it won't disturb others. She can't use an MP3 at home because dh has a thing about not using earbuds to bed, he's afraid of strangulation. I never asked if she uses them at other houses for sleepovers, I know she doesn't take her CD player. She listens to a relaxing, classical music/nature sounds CD. I used to play the radio really low as a teen to go to sleep and it would play all night.

[love2read]

Once you have an endless loop of music, turn the volume down a little bit every few days until they are sleeping without the music. I did this with a child who couldn't fall asleep unless his crib was jiggled, but of course it was the jiggling that was reduced a little at a time. It took about 2 weeks.

[Pretty in Pink]

Let them have their music. Just put the CD on repeat so that your dd doesn't have to get out of bed.

[Ellie]

We all have nighttime rituals. I take a shower at night and read a book in bed for awhile before I sleep. :-)

 

You might be able, though, to help your dc learn to let the music play through once and not have it play all night. There may be times when it isn't possible for them to have that music, KWIM? Maybe you could have the discussion with them first, about how they all enjoy the music, but it really is tricky to have it play all night, so tomorrow night, let's see if we can go to sleep while it's playing, and then stay asleep.

[secular_mom]

Put their music on repeat, so that your dd can rest without worrying about the music stopping.

There's no reason to take away their music- if there comes a time when they aren't able to have it for a real reason you can deal with it then, and it should only be temporary anyway. If they continue into adult hood what's the harm?

[ProudGrandma]

just to rest assure anybody who is concerned that my dd is using earbuds...she is not...they mp3 is plugged into speakers. She usually falls asleep before I go to bed, so I can turn off the music most nights...thanks for all of the responses.

[Disney Dreaming]

Everyone in my house has to have a fan AND either music(dd 7) or sound machines(dd 21, ds 17). I had a sound machine too until dd7 was born, now I still have the monitor in her room since she is on the other side of the house(that's my sound machine, her fan running in the monitor:)). I say let your dd have her music, *I* don't see it hurting anything.

[Starr]

My dd has listened to a favorite audio story since she was 5. Now at 16 she still turns it on if she wakes up at night but no we don't have to travel with it. I wouldn't worry.

[Dolphin]

If her music is on a mp 3, that is great. We have these for traveling. The kids just fall asleep with them on, the come off at some point during the night, but it helps when we are sleeping in a new place. I have to admit that I listen to music to fall asleep when I am traveling still, and I am 36. My dh is the only one without headphones on when we travel.

[Alicia64]

I don't think it's all that silly. Is there a way to have it continuously play?

 

:iagree:

[Pegasus]

Does anybody have any advice for me...or just thoughts in general. thanks.

 

Stop thinking of it as a problem and just let them have their music. Music can be very portable so they won't be tied to home!

 

DD11 still needs a nightlight. The only snag I've run into is when we are camping. I've found that those light-up bracelets put out just enough light to comfort her and last long enough for her to fall asleep.

 

Pegasus

[Julie in CA]

...And I'm okay with that! :D

I think of it as part of my job to encourage my dc to enrich their lives in easy ways. Playing music at bedtime is an easy way, so I'd allow it to continue.

BUT...:grouphug:

It's also my job to help my dc overcome dependencies that would probably detract from their lives in the long run, and that strong of a dependence on bedtime music for that long of a time would concern me. I want my dc to be able to get to sleep when, for whatever reason, their sleep situation has to be different than normal. I want them to grow up able to go to a sleep-over, or camp, or even to have an easy time fitting into dorm life or future married life. For that reason, I'd try to help them ease into some other routines for calming themselves. Maybe prayer (if you're a family that has that religious tradition), or meditation, or self-talk, or any of a variety of other strategies for reducing anxiety. I certainly wouldn't completely end the bedtime music, but I would probably limit it to a certain length of time each night, and then music only on certain nights, etc. That way they'd still have the pleasure of enjoying their traditional routine while growing enough that their well-being doesn't depend on it so dramatically.

 

In other words, I don't think it's a *problem*, but I would encourage a variety of healthy habits rather than an exclusive reliance on only one way of calming for sleep.

[mama2cntrykids]

That's not bad at all hon! My oldest ds *needs* to sleep with a box fan on high or he doesn't sleep well AT ALL.

 

It's my fault, I always had a fan on when the kids were babies. My two youngest can sleep without, my oldest, not so much. I'm the same way though. I have a hard time sleeping with out a fan on.

[Jenny in Florida]

My son lets music play all night. He just turned 13 and still sleeps better if the room is not dead silent.

 

Frankly, so do I.

 

When I was a teen, I used to play records when I was going to sleep, and if I didn't get to sleep quickly enough, I would start stressing out that the record would finish before I was truly asleep. And the sudden silence of the record finishing would wake me up just like a noise would.

 

So, I have sympathy for your children.

 

Honestly, I'm not sure why it's a problem?

[justasque]

My iPod, a Classic model, has a "sleep timer" option. It's under "extras", under "alarms". (Go figure.) You can set it for various increments up to 120 minutes. Also, you can set up a playlist and have it either play through once, or continue to repeat.

 

There are several places to get free relaxation mp3's, which can be good for inducing sleep.

 

I also find that, for adults anyway, podcasts can be good for sleep, especially those which are someone talking naturally about something fairly technical, perhaps even droning on a bit, without musical interruptions. Albany Medical Center has a series of continuing education EMS lectures that may fit the bill.

 

For my kids, reading at bedtime until they fall asleep has also worked well. They have LED booklights, so they are not kept awake by bright light. Booklights can also be a good nightlight in an away-from-home situation.

 

Some of the people in my family can just put their head down and sleep, just like that. Some need a lot of help to shut out all their thoughts and wind down and go to sleep. It's not because the easy-sleepers are doing something the difficult-sleepers aren't, it's, IMHO, more about how their brains are wired.

[IsabelC]

Put on famous classics and call it music appreciation?

 

Seriously, does it really matter if they end up spending their whole lives listening to music as they drop off to sleep?

 

As adults, we tend to assume it's a problem if a baby or child needs certain things to fall asleep. Yet at the same time, we tend to overlook our own sleep crutches. Many of us need to be in our own bed, or with our favorite pillow, or with/without light, etc etc. We might have pre-sleep rituals such as moisturizing, drinking something, walking around checking things in the house, etc etc. Some of us sleep with a partner and find it difficult to settle if that person is not in the bed. Most adults have some things that have to be just right before we can happily go to sleep, we just don't notice them. But when it comes to our kids, we think they need to learn "self settling" without all those little things.

[elfgivas]

i haven't read the other responses.

 

i wanted to share with you that one of my fondest childhood memories is falling asleep to songs from musical theatre. i would stay awake so that i could listen to the whole story..... i'm sure my dear parents fretted; i am so very thankful that they continued to play it.

 

and fifty years later, all four of my dd can sing most of the music from most of the musicals....

 

:grouphug:

ann

[Paintedlady]

Not a big deal. Put the music on repeat or continuous loop.

 

Dh & I have to have a fan on at night or we have trouble going to sleep. I hate going to hotels b/c I can't drag my fan along and it's sooo quiet I have a hard time falling asleep.

[RoundAbout]

I don't think its silly at all. We've used a white noise generator with my son since he was a baby and its my magic machine. We seem to have less sleep issues than our other friends with kids and we take it everywhere we go. It actually makes travel a snap.

 

I think its totally normal to have a little sleep crutch like that (counting sheep anyone?) Also if you think about it for most of human history most kids would have slept in the same room as adults, or nearby, and there would have been singing, talking, wind etc. to help soothe one to sleep. It's only in the modern era that we have the luxury of a totally sealed off isolated room with complete silence to fall asleep in.

[parias1126]

This post made me realize that my only DC (18 now) that I put to sleep very young with music every night is the only one that needs to fall asleep to music and leaves the radio on all night.

 

I don't see anything wrong with it. I have one child that has to fall asleep with a nightlight. The other two, it has to be completely dark.

 

Everyone has conditions they need fulfilled to fall asleep. I need to have it completely dark and the fan on. I like to have some type of soothing noise (which is usually my DHs sleep apnea machine. :lol:

[Pam Wilhelm]

All three of my kids fall asleep with their own music....

 

Gretchen listens to a nice older Country Western music station on the radio.

 

Eli listens to a CD of music/environmental sounds.

 

And somehow Heidi has absconded with my IPOD and listens to that every night.

 

Going to sleep in odd places (hotels/camping/visiting) has never bothered them too much..... if I remember I bring the ipod with battery speakers and we get to listen to that going to sleep...... but they manage if I don't have it.

 

Kids are clever and adaptable...... they'll get on without music every once in a while. Let them keep their music. :001_smile:

[nukeswife]

My kids have ipods on a dock they listen to every night. I put books from audible on them and that's what they listen too. I don't see it as a problem. If we are on an overnight trip they either have their ipods with them or they deal with it fine. Usually in a situation like that they are so tired from the excitement of why we're not home and everything we've done that they fall asleep pretty quickly.

[3lilreds in NC]

I like white noise too. I have terrible tinnitus so if it's too quiet the ringing in my ears keeps me awake.

 

I've always used a humidifier in the winter and a small fan in the summer for white noise for my kids. I don't have one for the girls now, but I think I should, because they stay up way too late talking! I think if they had the white noise going on, they would have to talk too loudly. Ha.