Long-term bre@stfeeding - I have some questions.

[3lilreds in NC]

So, Schmooey is 3.5 years old now and still nursing. He and I are the only two people we know who think this is a good idea. And, to be honest, I'm getting less enchanted. I love that he loves "mom-mom" and that we get special time together, but he is getting worse about letting me feel his teeth. I'm not amused.

 

I thought I'd read somewhere that I could expect him to self-wean by about this age. If anything, he seems to be more determined than ever and asks at times (ie., not at sleeping times) when he'd stopped asking.

 

When will he wean himself? I just don't have the heart (at least, not yet) to wean him. He is so very loud when he cries, and it would break his wee heart.

 

Look at that, I guess I only have the one question. Thoughts? I know there are no guarantees.

[unsinkable]

For me TEETH= stop immediately. He'll catch on to that quickly.

 

Other than that, if you really want to cut back, distract and delay.

 

"Oh, let's do play-doh first and we'll nurse later."

 

:grouphug:

[jplain]

From an article on the topic by anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler:

 

The minimum predicted age for a natural age of weaning in humans is 2.5 years, with a maximum of 7.0 years.

 

source

Unfortunately, there's no good way to predict when a particular child will self-wean. ;)

 

I was willing to continue to breastfeed my kids until my need to stop was greater than their need to continue. I did wean my first at just under 5 years, and she only needed a little nudge. I'd have been thrilled if she'd stopped earlier, but nursing was important to her as she learned to share her parents with a baby sister. My younger daughter weaned herself at just under 4 years.

 

With my older daughter, I did realize at one point that her lazy nursing habits (teeth) were really irritating me. So I started prompting her to correct her latch (I cued her by saying "wide mouth"). If she wasn't willing to nurse properly, that nursing session was over, and she could sit with me and snuggle instead. That did help.

 

As time went by, I cut down the length of the nursing sessions, down to as little as a minute, as well as the timing. By the end she was only nursing for a minute or two just before brushing teeth and turning out the light at night.

 

I'd suggest calling a local LLL leader for suggestions, and/or information on attending a meeting at which weaning will be discussed.

 

Good luck!

 

[Joanne]

Yes. He will wean.

 

Do you have limits, boundaries and rules around it? A lot of AP/natural moms don't. There tends to be a belief in that community that the nursing relationship is not a place for limits.

 

My kids nursed for a long, long time. I don't believe in child led weaning, though. It's my experience that some kids and some mom/kid units need a mother lead weaning.

 

There is also the dynamic that develops with certain personality of kids in which "on demand" nursing makes them feel insecure and they develop a passionate attachment to nursing in which they melt down if they can't and they are not age expected regarding nursing. I have a link if that is the case for you.

 

In any case, limits were what saved my breastfeeding relationship with my kids.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

For me TEETH= stop immediately. He'll catch on to that quickly.

 

Other than that, if you really want to cut back, distract and delay.

 

"Oh, let's do play-doh first and we'll nurse later."

 

:grouphug:

 

Ditto! He's old enough to be careful while nursing. If you get bitten, that nursing session is over.

 

I'm not sure what to say about weaning. All of my kids have weaned while I'm pregnant with another child (though my oldest tandem nursed with #2 and made it to week three of pregnancy #3). They just got more interested in other things and stopped asking. If I wanted to encourage weaning, I would offer them something fun to do or a yummy snack.

[Sevilla]

I nurse a long time (2-3 years generally, though open to going longer depending on circumstances). I am a stickler for nursing manners and respecting mom's body (no teeth!).

 

Do you have a regular rhythm of nursing? With a 3.5 year old, I would have nursing only in the morning and evening and possibly at nap, not as an 'on demand' type of thing throughout the day. It would be a rare comfort tool by that age that I would have actively worked to supplement with others means of comfort and love from mom.

 

He will eventually self-wean, though if he is 3.5 and still quite attached it may not be for awhile. There is nothing wrong with mother-led weaning IMO. That is what I have done in spite of nursing my children longer than the norm.

[Peela]

Yes, don't let him bite- he's old enough to understand that one. I yelled and pushed them off. They stopped biting pretty quickly.

I breastfed my first for 5 years and my 2nd for 3.5- they tandem fed for 3.5 years and then weaned themselves together after having a discussion with each other!

Its unpredictable...but as others have said, you can set boundaries. I night weaned my younger when he was 2.5 and put him to bed with his sister- I needed my sleep. He cried once and then accepted it.

I remember having lots of discussions with my kids around breastfeeding and lots of negotiations in that last year or 2. By 3.5 you should be able to set some boundaries- such as not at night time (except when going to sleep perhaps), not while you are out and about at the park anymore- that sort of thing.

I think my dd decided to stop breastfeeding because she was going to kindergarten and then preprimary school and realised it was very uncool- and ds just took her lead. Without those sort of influences, who knows when they would have stopped.

Mine also enjoyed their bottles so that helped.

[ChristusG]

DD3 is just about to turn 4 this next week. She's still nursing. I only allow it at bedtime. Occasionally she'll ask at other times, or even wake in the middle of the night, but I just remind her that we only nurse at bedtime. Like you, DD and I are the only ones who think it's a good thing. DH doesn't mind but he does make comments sometimes like "don't you think she's too old to nurse?"

 

I plan on weaning very soon. I'm 6 weeks pregnant with #3 right now and I really want a break in between. I'm just nervous to do so because she nurses to sleep, and has every night since she's been born 4 years ago! That means bedtime is probably going to turn into an unpleasant experience for a while LOL. She does accidentally nick me with her teeth sometimes, but I know it is not intentional....and it usually happens when she's falling asleep. I'm not sure how to wean without it being traumatic.

[Irishmommy]

Mine nursed and weaned at 19 months, 26 months, and 23 months. I believe they all self-weaned with a little help from me. They were already on the way themselves when I just put in some limits that were comfortable for me. After a certain age, I just wasn't comfortable nursing my toddler in public, only because I didn't welcome advice from others about when/how to wean. That was a personal choice of mine and like I said, mine were already self-weaning at that point. So, I explained to my toddler that those nursing sessions were for nap-time and night-night time (or wake up time). The rest of the day, I just distracted them, as I noticed that they would ask for it out of boredom. We kept busy and none of them asked! When they could go all day and only nurse at night/morning, that was a big milestone. Then I just started giving him/her a sippy cup with the appropriate milk (cow or soy). He/she loved the fact that he could take her cup with her and not have to wait or sit still!

[Mynyel]

From an article on the topic by anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler:

 

Unfortunately, there's no good way to predict when a particular child will self-wean. ;)

 

I was willing to continue to breastfeed my kids until my need to stop was greater than their need to continue. I did wean my first at just under 5 years, and she only needed a little nudge. I'd have been thrilled if she'd stopped earlier, but nursing was important to her as she learned to share her parents with a baby sister. My younger daughter weaned herself at just under 4 years.

 

With my older daughter, I did realize at one point that her lazy nursing habits (teeth) were really irritating me. So I started prompting her to correct her latch (I cued her by saying "wide mouth"). If she wasn't willing to nurse properly, that nursing session was over, and she could sit with me and snuggle instead. That did help.

 

As time went by, I cut down the length of the nursing sessions, down to as little as a minute, as well as the timing. By the end she was only nursing for a minute or two just before brushing teeth and turning out the light at night.

 

I'd suggest calling a local LLL leader for suggestions, and/or information on attending a meeting at which weaning will be discussed.

 

Good luck!

 

 

 

 

7?! Not my son... by that time he is perfectly able for me to say "I don't think so" and move along.

 

Mine is 2.5 and I am hoping in the next year he weans. He only nurses at night time, once before falling alseep for the night and even those are getting shorter. Probably because I am pretty much dry!

[Slartibartfast]

I agree with limits.

 

I don't allow my kids to perform gymnastics, death defying stunts or ANY twiddling while nursing. I do stop nursing for teeth.

 

I won't nurse if they won't eat any food (unless they are sick of course) after they are 2+

[3lilreds in NC]

Thanks, ladies, for all your wise words!

 

He doesn't bite; I can just feel his teeth when he's nursing sometimes. I do make him stop and tell him to "open big wide," and that he's hurting me. He will latch back on, then in a minute, stop nursing and ask me if he's hurting me. :001_wub: If we can't get it corrected, we stop. He's actually said to me, "I wasn't hurting you!" :lol: Um, yeah, I get to be the judge of that.

 

He only gets to nurse first thing in the morning and at night, and if he naps. I will let him nurse if he's really hurt himself sometimes. When he asks at other times, I tell him he doesn't need to, and we get a drink or a snack or do something else. He's pretty good about that. Sometimes he's insistent, but I am stubborn, too. We do have pretty good limits. It's just that he's started asking more, again.

 

I know I don't really *want* to wean because he's my baby, and my last one. :crying: That, and I'm a big wimp.

 

Joanne - I would not consider myself an AP/natural mom, LOL. Emma only nursed a few weeks. Abbie weaned herself just before she turned 1. I kinda thought Isaac would have stopped by now, and I've been waiting to see when he would.

 

I'm turning 40 this year and the dr reminded me that I need to have a mammogram at some point. That's really the only reason that I would need to wean and it's not a very good motivator! Dh thought we should have been done at a year, 2 at the most. He's been very tolerant but doesn't understand why we're still nursing.

[5forMe]

I have nursed all of mine. The longest was 3 years old. We transitioned him with a sippy cup of warm chocolate milk and then just warm cows milk (slowly decreasing the chocolate). It was pretty easy, however I was pregnant with number 4 at the time and I am sure the taste of my milk had changed.

 

He would have the warm milk in a cup while I read to him at bedtime and then we would brush his teeth. He really did great with it.

[LittleIzumi]

For me TEETH= stop immediately. He'll catch on to that quickly.

 

Other than that, if you really want to cut back, distract and delay.

 

"Oh, let's do play-doh first and we'll nurse later."

 

:grouphug:

:iagree:

Dd nursed until almost 3 and I stopped it (I was preggo & had a horrible case of thrush that I couldn't kick for months), but any time she used teeth she had to get down immediately, and after she turned 2 I used a lot of distraction & she was usually fine with that. She only nursed maybe 3 times a day when I weaned her.

[mommyto4]

If you do want to wean him, I second the chocolate milk idea. We would still have mommy time but with a sippy cup on a rocking chair. It only took about a week to get to the regular milk.

 

That being said, I am nursing my 26 month old and can't imagine stopping. She is my last too, and when weaning happens, it will be hard for me.:crying:

[Carol in Cal.]

I breastfed my first for 5 years and my 2nd for 3.5- they tandem fed for 3.5 years and then weaned themselves together after having a discussion with each other!

 

 

Wow, I've never heard of tandem self-weaning before!

[jelbe5]

I did not read all responses but my younger dd weaned at 4. I decided to extend breastfeeding after learning of the scientific benefits and how other cultures practice this. We also figured she was probably our last as another pregnancy would have been high risk for me.

 

However, if I felt teeth nursing time was over. She was old enough to understand that. Also we eventually relegated nursing to the couch at home only . . . not outside the house or even anywhere else in the house. I believe this helped us both wean naturally.

[LaissezFaire]

Honestly I think there is a window. Between a year and 18 months or so they usually self wean, if they don't it gets trickier and trickier. My youngest weaned at 2.5 years and I had to do a lot more distracting. She hasn't nursed in over 6 months now but still to this day wants her hand in my shirt for comfort.

 

I never had any problem with teeth.

 

If you are feeling spent and done with nursing I would move to distracting. It might mean not sitting down much for a few days. If you are standing, the child cannot be nursing.

[ocelotmom]

I thought I'd read somewhere that I could expect him to self-wean by about this age. If anything, he seems to be more determined than ever and asks at times (ie., not at sleeping times) when he'd stopped asking.

 

When will he wean himself? I just don't have the heart (at least, not yet) to wean him. He is so very loud when he cries, and it would break his wee heart.

 

I've known more than one person who believed in self-weaning who had a nursing child in the 7-8 range. I don't know if they did eventually self-wean, or if they were encouraged to stop (I assume they've all stopped at this point, as this was several years ago, but I don't know for sure!).

 

I'm sure some kids will self-wean at 3.5 or earlier, especially if life circumstances are such that they don't have free access to nurse whenever they want. But others won't.

 

My DS weaned at about 3.5 - DD had been born a few months earlier, and while I didn't refuse him nursing, I'd tell him to wait until DD was done. He'd often lose interest or fall asleep on his own first, and he gradually stopped asking. So, not really self-weaning, but it was pretty gentle and child-directed.

Edited March 6, 2011 by ocelotmom

[Jennifer in MI]

My youngest nursed the longest too. She weaned at 4.5. She was SO sweet about it. She'd ask if I was sore (I get tenderness at that TOM). If so, she'd be SO careful. If not, she wasn't as careful. But, I certainly appreciated that she was aware that it might hurt.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Your ds is a very lucky kid!!!!

[justasque]

So, Schmooey is 3.5 years old now and still nursing. He and I are the only two people we know who think this is a good idea.

 

Find a La Leche League group! Seriously. You are likely to meet many moms who are or have been long-time nursers (though they may not reveal that at the meeting itself, as some new moms aren't comfortable with it). You might even have a special group in your area for moms who are nursing older kids. You don't have to be a super-crunchy hard-core AP mom; LLL-ers represent a wide variety of moms, much like homeschoolers.

 

Think about what your child is getting out of nursing (food, drink, closeness with mom, help going to sleep, mom to himself), and be sure that he is getting a lot of that outside of the nursing - that helps move the process along. I agree with PP's about setting limits when it comes to the teeth. Little ones often nurse more if there is a stressful situation (illness, dad away on business, etc.) or special needs of one kind or another, so being aware of that kind of thing helps too, if not to reduce the nursing, at least to know that it's meeting a need.

[Mandy in TN]

When will he wean himself? I just don't have the heart (at least, not yet) to wean him.

He may need for you to guide him and so he may nurse until you have the heart to do so. (or maybe some silly conversation with your dh about diapers will prompt him to wean. see ds #3.)

 

My oldest was my only one who weaned himself. He did so between 11 and 13 months. He loved his sippy cup. He loved straws. He loved being able to look around. When he was 13 months, he fell and bonked his head. When he started crying, I offered him the breast and he pushed away. At that point I knew he was totally done. I never offered again and he never asked again.

 

With ds #2 he was 18 months old and I got a horrible stomach/ fever virus that I kept for a week. When it was over, the milk was gone. He was very upset while I was sick, but I was delirious with fever and so ill that I just couldn't nurse for spending so much time in the bathroom. By the time I was well he was fairly alright and after he tried a couple of times and there was nothing to be had, he moved on.

 

Ds #3 was a little over 3yo. He weaned and potty trained all at the same time. About a month or so after he turned 3 my dh told ds that Sam's Club wasn't going to let him buy any more diapers, because they said that ds was too old to need them. :lol: It was so funny. It was like something went click in ds's wee little brain and he suddenly decided that he was a big boy. It was indeed the last giant box diapers that we bought! Shortly after that he also stopped nursing. Maybe he thought the diapers and nursing were a package deal.

 

So, is he potty trained?

Mandy

[nmoira]

DD the Elder nursed until 4.5 (I gave her a choice between extra reading time and nursing), and DD the Younger nursed for the last time on her fifth birthday (my choice). She's now 6.5 and still talks about how much she misses it.

[ShutterBug]

I don't know..I know a family whose son nursed until he was 8 or 9...if you're feeling done then maybe a little nudge in the weaning direction wouldn't hurt?

[Embassy]

I have nursed all of mine. The longest was 3 years old. We transitioned him with a sippy cup of warm chocolate milk and then just warm cows milk (slowly decreasing the chocolate). It was pretty easy, however I was pregnant with number 4 at the time and I am sure the taste of my milk had changed.

 

He would have the warm milk in a cup while I read to him at bedtime and then we would brush his teeth. He really did great with it.

 

Good idea. I'm weaning my little girl soon as age 3 is my limit. She turns three in a couple months and I had already planned on the transition to reading together at night, but the chocolate milk should make it easy. We have been talking about it for a month now so she is aware that she is growing up and nursing will end when she turns 3.

 

My oldest mostly self-weaned with some encouragement from me at 17 months. I was pregnant at the time so I think that had a lot to do with it. I weaned my younger son over couple months when he was 2.5. I did wean my daughter from nursing to sleep over a year ago. She had problems with her teeth that required me to brush her teeth after nursing. So the biggest hurdle of weaning (at least to me) has happened.

[Slartibartfast]

Thanks, ladies, for all your wise words!

 

He doesn't bite; I can just feel his teeth when he's nursing sometimes. I do make him stop and tell him to "open big wide," and that he's hurting me. He will latch back on, then in a minute, stop nursing and ask me if he's hurting me. :001_wub: If we can't get it corrected, we stop. He's actually said to me, "I wasn't hurting you!" :lol: Um, yeah, I get to be the judge of that.

 

He only gets to nurse first thing in the morning and at night, and if he naps. I will let him nurse if he's really hurt himself sometimes. When he asks at other times, I tell him he doesn't need to, and we get a drink or a snack or do something else. He's pretty good about that. Sometimes he's insistent, but I am stubborn, too. We do have pretty good limits. It's just that he's started asking more, again.

 

I know I don't really *want* to wean because he's my baby, and my last one. :crying: That, and I'm a big wimp.

 

Joanne - I would not consider myself an AP/natural mom, LOL. Emma only nursed a few weeks. Abbie weaned herself just before she turned 1. I kinda thought Isaac would have stopped by now, and I've been waiting to see when he would.

 

I'm turning 40 this year and the dr reminded me that I need to have a mammogram at some point. That's really the only reason that I would need to wean and it's not a very good motivator! Dh thought we should have been done at a year, 2 at the most. He's been very tolerant but doesn't understand why we're still nursing.

 

 

Babies don't generally wean themelves before two, if they stop nursing before one then that is usually a nursing strike.

 

You do not need to wean for a mammogram, you can have them do an ultrasound instead. I am high risk and I have been having ultra sounds while I am breastfeeding. If they balk or say they cannot then maybe consider seeing an actual breast specialist.

 

You are well within normal.

 

If you are considering weaning or growing tired of BF then maybe you could discuss it with your ds. He is old enough to understand. :)

Edited March 6, 2011 by Sis

[Catherine]

At your son's age, talk to him about it and set limits that you are comfortable with. I did not allow public nursing after a certain age, and none except bedtime and dire "emergencies" LOL after a certain age.

[nd293]

I thought I'd read somewhere that I could expect him to self-wean by about this age. If anything, he seems to be more determined than ever and asks at times (ie., not at sleeping times) when he'd stopped asking.

 

When will he wean himself? I just don't have the heart (at least, not yet) to wean him. He is so very loud when he cries, and it would break his wee heart.

 

Well, your problem is obvious to me - he's not reading the same parenting books as you, and hasn't heard that he's supposed to self-wean. :tongue_smilie:

 

Ds turned 4yrs in January and is still nursing. He definitely did not read the book about self-weaning. We now have things at a level which makes both of us happy. I probably started discouraging breastfeeding outside the house at around 3yrs, and stopped it at 3.5yrs (this coincided to some extend in a change in our social circle from extended breastfeeders to more "conventional" parents). At that stage ds was having a wake-up and a bed-time feed.

 

A little before he was 4yrs I realises that self-weaning was not going to happen, and that I would have to get involved. The hardest step is to say "No" for the first few times. There were long nights with ds crying while I lay with him - on some of these nights I did feed him if he woke crying during the night. It helps if you find some excuse to stop feeding for a few days - initially we made night feeds dependent on him finishing dinner (which he often refuses to do), and then I feigned illness every few nights. Once we broke the feeding "habit" things were easier - some nights I just told him in advance that I was tired and we would not be nursing. Sometimes when he asked I said yes, sometimes I said I was too tired. Over tim he became more relaxed about me saying no, and now if he makes a fuss I realise he really needs the closeness, and I agree. He now feeds about every 2-3 days, sometimes on waking, and sometimes at bedtime.

 

For me, it was important to realise that weaning doesn't have to be all-or-nothing - that it is possible to find a balance.

 

Nikki

[dirty ethel rackham]

He is definitely old enough to learn that undesirable nursing behaviors mean end of nursing session. I would often compress the breast away from the teeth, but this was with a younger child. There is no self-weaning age. Some kids do, but many don't. So, I wouldn't count in self-weaning in with this child based upon the temperment you describe. If I hadn't gotten pregnant with dd, my second child would not have weaned on his own. He was very high-need and nursing was one of the few tools we had for calming him. He did self-wean, but only because my milk changed. I laugh that dd would still be nursing if we hadn't weaned while I had a week in the hospital for surgery. She loved it so much. (She did, however, have excellent nursing manners;).)

 

I think it is perfectly OK to put limits on nursing. When I actively weaned my oldest at age 2 (I was pregnant and nursing was excruciatingly painful), I put time limits and location limits. We got down to bedtime and morning nursings for 10 minutes and cut down on the time over a couple weeks. We had to distract, distract, distract in order to not nurse other times. It was exhausting. With my second son, I had to find other ways to comfort him without nursing. It was rough. I would work now on helping him have ways of getting calm and in control before full out weaning.

 

hth,

[Mom-ninja.]

Listen to you heart. You are the mommy. How do you feel about continued nursing. Both mama and child should be happy. If one of you isn't look to see what changes can be made.

 

As others have stated, at his age you can talk about limits. Limits like where, when, and how long.

 

From experience, it seems the older the child the easier it is to wean. My 10yr old weaned when he was 3.5. At that point my second ds was 5 months old and I didn't want to tandem nurse anymore. I simply told him that nursing was for the baby now and he was the big brother. He said, "Ok" and that was that.

 

My second ds was 4.5 when I weaned him. I was pg with my third and I was tired of painful nursing. So I told him it hurt mommy to nurse him and I would cuddle instead. He was fine with it.

 

I do have a friend who nursed both sons until they were 7. At that point both boys decided to wean themselves.

 

Children *do* eventually wean themselves. I don't think there is any child going to college that had to wean before moving to the dorm. ;) You just don't know when a child will wean. If you are having issues with the nursing relationship, you have the right to change things. Mama's feeling are important too.

 

Good luck.

[mommymilkies]

Well, average age of weaning is 4. That said, I had to wean mine at 2.5 because I got touched out. I would definitely put limits on nursing if it's not working for you anymore. Better that than resentment and bad memories surrounding weaning, kwim?

[3lilreds in NC]

Babies don't generally wean themelves before two, if they stop nursing before one then that is usually a nursing strike.

 

You do not need to wean for a mammogram, you can have them do an ultrasound instead. I am high risk and I have been having ultra sounds while I am breastfeeding. If they balk or say they cannot then maybe consider seeing an actual breast specialist.

 

You are well within normal.

 

If you are considering weaning or growing tired of BF then maybe you could discuss it with your ds. He is old enough to understand. :)

 

You know, I didn't think Abbie would wean that young, either. I thought she'd be the kid nursing in college. :) She'd been really sick for about 3.5 weeks before she weaned and was nursing almost exclusively while she was ill. Once she got better, she went from nursing several times a day, to 4, to 2, to refusing to nurse all together, in the space of about 5 days. I tried having her latch on at night when she was sleepy & all the other "nursing strike counter attacks." As soon as the milk started to flow, she would grab my shirt and pull herself up. I could not get her to nurse for love nor money. I took her to the doctor, thinking she must have a terrible ear infection or something, and she was fine. Trust me - I had booKs the size of cantaloupes from all that nursing while she was sick. I did NOT want her to wean just then. However, she has always had a mind of her own, and nothing I did could entice her to nurse. She never asked again.

 

Thanks for the info about the ultrasound. I may ask about that. It sounds like a whole lot more fun than a mammogram in any case.

 

I think the chocolate milk idea may work too, but I'm not sure about bedtime. We will have to see.

[jld]

I'm a big believer in child-led weaning, though I know I'm in the (very small, tiny, microscopic?) minority. No kids, as others have mentioned, have gone to college nursing.

 

Trust your kid. He'll stop when he's ready. And you'll know you (perhaps sacrificially) gave him something (love, comfort, custom milk) he truly couldn't get from anyone else.

[Cindyg]

I breastfed longer than that, and I don't regret it one bit. Mine was never going to self wean. Really, never. I finally did have to cut him off. But it was a precious time. Hold him while you can.

[HS Mom in NC]

My oldest did not self wean-I weaned her at 5 years old. My second child (22mos. younger than my oldest) self weaned at 4 years old.

 

I attended LLL meetings from mid pregnancy with my first until my second child weaned at 4 years old. Our meetings were divided into two groups: pregnant- 1 year old and 1 year old and up. Toddler nursing groups are rare even for LLL. I was very grateful to have one within a half an hour drive of my house. We had a couple dozen moms with toddler-preschooler nurslings. Most were tandem nursing. One mom tandem (Or would it be multiple?) nursed her 3 children under the age of 6. Many of us nursed through pregnancy even though few were producing much milk at all. Once tandem nursed her 3 year old twins through her second pregnancy. As I recall, the average age of weaning in that group was around 3 or 4 years old. I never met anyone nursing a child over 6.

 

You can limit the duration of nursing sessions, "I'll nurse you for one ABC song and then you'll have to do something else, honey." Or you can limit the number of nursing sessions, "You can nurse to go to sleep and that's all." Or you can do both.

 

Never make a big decision on a bad day. When you're ready to wean you'll be ready to wean when your day is gloriously good AND when you're day is terribly bad.

[texasmama]

My last child weaned at 3 years, 9 months. She was, for sure, my last child, so I had mixed feelings about it. I gently set limits, and she accepted them. The nursing became less frequent, until she asked only every few days...and then not at all. When she asked again, I told her that the milkie was all gone. She accepted this, too. Neither she nor I were traumatized at all by the weaning. I weaned because I felt that it was time for me and that it would be okay/not traumatic for her. All kids are different. I have no regrets about nursing as long as I did, nor about weaning when I did.:001_smile:

[3lilreds in NC]

I breastfed longer than that, and I don't regret it one bit. Mine was never going to self wean. Really, never. I finally did have to cut him off. But it was a precious time. Hold him while you can.

 

This is it right here - I know I'm only going to have him for a short time so I don't want to stop.

 

Tonight after we read a book he said, "I want mom-mom." I told him, teasingly, there would be no mom-mom. He said, "I should I go to bed? No, I want mom-mom!" He is so cute. I haven't nursed anyone before who was able to discuss it with me so I get a big kick out of him.

 

I am not really done so much as wondering if he ever will be. :lol: We will see how it goes and if he's not done by 4, I will have to consider weaning him. Of course, I've said this every year since he turned 1, and you see where we are... ;)

[Guest Backyard_Chickens]

I am almost 49 and still nursing. My midwife said 6 months after my daughter weans I should get a mammogram. I don't know if I want the radiation, but that's a different matter.

 

The longer you nurse, the lower your risk of developing breast cancer. I certainly would not stop nursing to have a mammogram.

 

My son was an avid nurser. At 32 months he was still nursing 8 times a day. Slowly that decreased. As he neared 5, I was tired of nursing him. (I was tandem nursing him and his adopted sister.) He was mainly nursing in the morning. The two of them loved to lounge around in bed, having a bit of milk together. Her nursing didn't bother me, but his did. However, I just couldn't wean him. I knew he'd do it when he was ready. But I really wanted him to wean.

 

We have a 3 dimensional advent calendar we call the birthday house. Every morning we count down his birthday with the house. He gets a little chocolate coin in the house each day. Every morning, those weeks before his 5th birthday, before he could ask to nurse, I'd ask him if he'd checked the birthday house yet. He would run into the living room, I would get up, and there would be no morning nursing. When his birthday arrived, he was out of the habit of nursing on waking. He randomly asks to nurse now and I let him, but he stops after about 5 seconds. I so loved our nursing relationship when he was little, but those days are gone. I still love nursing my 2 year old, but I am glad my son finally weaned himself (with just a smidgen of help from me.)

[tkeller]

I started asking my son when he would be done with "night nights" shortly after his third birthday. He always answered "When I'm four!" So we discussed often about how when he turned four he would stop. He would tell mw the things he could do when he was a big boy, and the things he wouldn't do anymore like have night nights.

 

He only cried a couple times after his birthday (tried to tell me he meant to say he'd quit when he turned seven, not four) and I gave in once, but after I gave in that one time he stopped asking.

 

Have you asked your son? Maybe he has an age in mind?

[TX Bluebonnet]

I told my oldest son that he would have to stop nursing on his fifth birthday. We had a big party for him on his birthday and he fell asleep that night without nursing. I don't remember if he asked for it the next day but if he did he didn't make a big deal about it!

 

He is eight now and his little brother is still nursing at two and a half. Sometimes my eight year old asks in a joking way if he can nurse. I tell him to stop being silly but he says he remembers it and that it tasted really good! I hope I haven't scarred him for life!

 

My little guy doesn't nurse nearly as much as my oldest did at 2 but he doesn't seem inclined to give it up any time soon. I am going to miss nursing when we are done but it will be nice to have my body back!

[nmoira]

 

Have you asked your son? Maybe he has an age in mind?

Careful with that... DD the Younger told me she didn't want to stop nursing until she was one hundred. :tongue_smilie:

[jld]

This is it right here - I know I'm only going to have him for a short time so I don't want to stop.

 

Tonight after we read a book he said, "I want mom-mom." I told him, teasingly, there would be no mom-mom. He said, "I should I go to bed? No, I want mom-mom!" He is so cute. I haven't nursed anyone before who was able to discuss it with me so I get a big kick out of him.

 

I am not really done so much as wondering if he ever will be. :lol: We will see how it goes and if he's not done by 4, I will have to consider weaning him. Of course, I've said this every year since he turned 1, and you see where we are... ;)

 

You sound like a loving mom!:)