What do you do when your 7-8 yo does not want to do his school work?

[blessedmom3]

Looking for creative ideas that work for this age :) .

[MrsMe]

I always made dd sit on the couch, doing absolutely nothing until she would do it. No playing, eating, tv, nadda, nothing. I'd tell her that we all have a job to do and hers was for her to do her schoolwork and until that was completed, she would do nothing. :001_smile: It doesn't need to be creative, it just needs to work. And this for us, worked.

[Parrothead]

"It is time to do your school work or it is time to go sit on your bed."

[caitlinsmom]

I switched up our routine quite a bit. My dd does flash cards, writing and reading in the morning. After dinner she does her math worksheets, spelling, grammar, writing and more reading at night. Breaking it up got rid of all the power struggles we were having. We get twice as much done and with a happier child and mom. :)

 

P.S. We also get more chores done everyday. A clean house is a happy mom. :D

[SailorMom]

I'm mean. They lost privledges, were grounded, had more difficult work added.

It only took a few days like this,,,, ever.

[Mommee & Baba]

On our marker board I have the first letter of each of my children's name. They know that if they are whiney, fussy or the likes, rude, mean, cranky or refuse to do their school they get 1 mark. If it continues they get another mark...after 3 marks they have lost all tv & computer privelages for the rest of the day! However if they have 2 marks and they have good behavior during an entire lesson they can get the marked erased. Once they hit 3 marks there is no turning back...if they got the 3 marks and lost their tv & computer privelages for the rest of the day and continue to be rude and cranky..ect...they get sent to the wall for a minute per their age...if that doesn't work...they are sent to their bed!

 

I use to get really really frustrated and send them to their room and they would take advantage of being on their bed alone and not doing school.....my dd7 would spend an hour on her bed completely CONTENT!! And my dd6 would rev up and get really ugly with screaming and her words...

 

The marker board and markings works EVERYTIME!! My dd7 has only gotten 3 marks ONCE and when she realized I stood my ground and she indeed lost ALL tv & computer privelages she said she didn't want to do that again. (Of course I made it a really big deal to make that night game night on the Wii and she wasn't able to join in or even watch...) Sounds mean but it worked and for her sister to see that I followed through she makes certain to not get a mark that stays on the board.

 

My dh does back me up with his own set of standards. If there are any marks left on the board when daddy gets home they get punishment from him for each mark left. However since the big ordeal from my dd7 ONCE not once have they had a mark left on the board because they do good behavioral things (additional chores, helping with baby brother..ect) to earn the eraser to erase the mark!

 

Believe you me...I tried ALOT of things over the 4 years we've been homeschooling and nothing has worked like this does!

[Pretty in Pink]

My 7yo usually works best when I sit next to him while he works. This morning he finished all of his work in under an hour and was so proud of himself...if only all days could be like that! LOL

 

I usually say to him, "You may go lay down on your bed until you are ready to work nicely."

[fairfarmhand]

I always made dd sit on the couch, doing absolutely nothing until she would do it. No playing, eating, tv, nadda, nothing. I'd tell her that we all have a job to do and hers was for her to do her schoolwork and until that was completed, she would do nothing. :001_smile: It doesn't need to be creative, it just needs to work. And this for us, worked.

:iagree:

[Pink Fairy]

On our marker board I have the first letter of each of my children's name. They know that if they are whiney, fussy or the likes, rude, mean, cranky or refuse to do their school they get 1 mark. If it continues they get another mark...after 3 marks they have lost all tv & computer privelages for the rest of the day! However if they have 2 marks and they have good behavior during an entire lesson they can get the marked erased. Once they hit 3 marks there is no turning back...if they got the 3 marks and lost their tv & computer privelages for the rest of the day and continue to be rude and cranky..ect...they get sent to the wall for a minute per their age...if that doesn't work...they are sent to their bed!

 

 

 

I am LOVING this idea!

[Miss Marple]

I usually gave them another option: dust the furniture, clean the bathrooms, clean out the chicken coop, etc. I tried to stress to them that everyone has their work for the day. Daddy goes to work, mommy works at home, and the kids' work was to do school. But if they didn't want to do school (at that age), there was plenty of other work that they could do.

 

Now that mine are older, they understand that if they don't get the school done, it just means going longer into the summer, or perhaps even into the next year meaning that they won't graduate when their friends graduate :-)

 

I have met few home schooled kids who "want" to do their school. Mine went through phases of enjoying it to despising it. I discovered it was mostly their attitude towards it. Just like I don't wake up wanting to cook breakfast (but I do it because it's my job), they need to do their school even when they don't want to.

 

At those young ages, though, it is fun to mix things up a bit, try to give them incentives (we'll go to the zoo when you finish X and Y), and I tried to be creative to make things a bit more "fun". My boys despised busy work (coloring sheets, etc.). They loved to get messy (which means the house gets messy, too).

[blessedmom3]

Excellent ideas that I am going to apply . Thanks so much !

 

Keep'em coming :)

[Truscifi]

He can either do his work or lie on his bed and 'rest' since he clearly MUST be exhausted, or he would be able to do his work. :glare:

 

Also, he has to complete all his work before I leave for my part-time job in the afternoon to earn his daily electronics time. So if it isn't done when I leave, no tv, no computer, no wii, no dsi, etc.

[ElizabethB]

"It is time to do your school work or it is time to go sit on your bed."

:iagree:

 

Except, that is my bed. There is nothing fun to look at in my room, there are fun things to look at in their rooms.

[KrissiK]

Well, it took 7 year old DS about 2 hours on Monday to do 2 extremely easy worksheets. Actually, one was just copying his short memory verse. He just gets into these.... snits when he just doesn't want to do his work. So, he goes into his room and is not allowed out until it's complete (and this includes meals, which is more of an incentive than anything else because he is always hungry!). It's pretty amazing sometimes. He'll dilly-dally for 2 hours, I'll go in there, no work is done, then he comes out about 10 minutes later and it's all complete. It works a lot better than me standing over him screaming. Which I've tried and found to be extremely ineffective.

[Tarreymere]

I can always find some really unpleasant chores that need to be done (cat box, anyone?). I also tell the kids that everyone works and their job is school, so if they don't want to do school they have to do some other work.

 

Or if I feel particularly Machiavellian that day I will bake cookies and inform the kids that no one will get any cookies until all their school work is done.

[TammyinTN]

I always say you can work with your mind or you can work with your hands.

Manual labor..cleaning bathrooms, scrubbing tile, hauling in wood or shoveling extra snow.;)

[Catwoman]

I can't believe that not even one person has mentioned the tried-and-true solution of, "Hit him with a bat." ;)

 

I never actually tried it, because my kid is a pretty fast runner and I could never catch him, but maybe you're quicker than I am...

 

Cat

 

PS. You know I'm kidding, right? :D

Edited January 27, 2011 by Catwoman

[Tabrett]

Just curious what type of curriculum you dc is doing? Are you giving your 7yo work and then leaving to do chores or are you sitting beside and/or constantly watching your dc and they refuse to work?

 

Academic capability and emotional maturity are two different things. If you are expecting you dc to work by themselves just because they are academically capable of doing the work, doesn't mean they are emotionally capable of doing work without mom constantly monitoring and redirecting attention.

 

I have to sit beside my 7yo while she works. If I don't, she will daydream. I have to direct her attention back to her work repetitively. It is almost like I pull her out of a fantasy. She is not being defiant, she just can't self monitor yet. Eventually she will be able to work on her own, but I expect it will be gradual and she will not be fully independent until middle school aged.

 

When I worked in a public middle school, I saw many bright capable students fall behind because they were not emotionally ready to leave a single teacher classroom situation. They still needed the motherly like teacher who stood over them and monitored their work. If I didn't constantly walk around and monitor my class, they would not work. I don't expect my dc at home to be any different.

 

This may not be the case in you situation. You may be constantly monitoring and redirecting your dc and they are refusing to work in direct defiance. If that is the case, I would try some of the thing the other posters have suggested.

[ELaurie]

he loses Legos, screen time, and other privileges for the evening. He also has to make up the work the next day or on the weekend.

 

That being said, he needs frequent breaks, lots of physical activity (he recites math facts while jumping on our mini tramp :), plenty of variety, short assignments, frequent snacks, plenty of water to drink . . . sometimes I let him chew gum or listen to soft classical music while he works.

 

I make a various accommodations to meet his learning needs, while also maintaining clear boundaries regarding completion of his work within a reasonable period of time.

[Peela]

I used to bribe my son at that age. He had to do his work (very short lessons and minimal work- very reluctant writer) then I would take him up and buy him something at the shops- a treat. ANother common bribe was to go and kick a soccer ball with him in the park.

It was hard for him. He was traumatised by school already (he started homeschooling at 7). He hated doing schoolwork. I kept it minimal and I also did a lot through read alouds, which he liked.

Didn't even SWB talk about giving jellybeans or smarties for work finished? I am not even into sugar but I appreciated her approach- to keep it light and fun, to reward. Kids that age do not have the ability to think long term- they are very much in the moment.

I also had him do things like recite his times tables while jumping on a trampoline.

I think boys need extra tenderness, along with the firmness.

[myfunnybunch]

Before my children can play video fames/watch tv at the end of the day, they must...

 

Do their chores.

 

Finish schoolwork.

 

Free reading (time depends on age).

 

Music practice (for lesson-takers).

 

I say, "It's your choice whether or not to do school today. Remember, you cannot play your games until all of your tasks are finished, and they must be finished by 5:30."

 

Then I walk away.

 

I've never had a child choose not to do school, and the longest it took for a kiddo to decide to join us after all was 15 minutes.

 

Cat

[FO4UR]

I let him take a nap until he's ready to work.

 

It helps to keep lessons short, and mix up read alouds and seatwork and active things. My 7yo does an hour in the morning and an hour after lunch so he doesn't get drained in one big session of school.

[LAS in LA]

It's reassuring to hear that this is a common issue for 7-yr-old boys!

 

I think Charlotte Mason wrote something about the reward for work being extra free time. It's nice even for adults to have something to look forward to, so the prospect of an interesting activity, outing, or time to do his own projects is sometimes a good motivator.

[blessedmom3]

Just curious what type of curriculum you dc is doing? Are you giving your 7yo work and then leaving to do chores or are you sitting beside and/or constantly watching your dc and they refuse to work?

 

Academic capability and emotional maturity are two different things. If you are expecting you dc to work by themselves just because they are academically capable of doing the work, doesn't mean they are emotionally capable of doing work without mom constantly monitoring and redirecting attention.

 

I have to sit beside my 7yo while she works. If I don't, she will daydream. I have to direct her attention back to her work repetitively. It is almost like I pull her out of a fantasy. She is not being defiant, she just can't self monitor yet. Eventually she will be able to work on her own, but I expect it will be gradual and she will not be fully independent until middle school aged.

 

When I worked in a public middle school, I saw many bright capable students fall behind because they were not emotionally ready to leave a single teacher classroom situation. They still needed the motherly like teacher who stood over them and monitored their work. If I didn't constantly walk around and monitor my class, they would not work. I don't expect my dc at home to be any different.

 

This may not be the case in you situation. You may be constantly monitoring and redirecting your dc and they are refusing to work in direct defiance. If that is the case, I would try some of the thing the other posters have suggested.

 

:iagree:

The curriculum is not the issue . He likes everything we are doing (except WWE) , is challenged but nothing too hard and I do sit at the table but he works mostly independently because he is a "Competent Carl" (if you read Cathy's Duffy's 100 curriculum picks , you know what I mean). I also have a 1st gr and a K so I help them mostly , while my oldest does what he can independently.

 

The biggest problem is to start the work. Once he starts it ,usually he doesn't complain . Actually most of the time he enjoys it. But he prefers online games or tv .

[kalanamak]

Looking for creative ideas that work for this age :) .

 

Every few months we have a showdown, usually when I'm tired. I explain to him I'm not doing this for fun, that it is my job to teach and his job to try to learn, and that if he doesn't sit up and fly right his Papa won't take him to the gym until he does.

 

This, for us, works every time. Kiddo is at the gym/park 4+ hours a day. It would be a real deprivation and he knows it.

 

He also knows dessert is waiting in the wings if he tries his best.

[myfunnybunch]

It's nice even for adults to have something to look forward to, so the prospect of an interesting activity, outing, or time to do his own projects is sometimes a good motivator.

 

He also knows dessert is waiting in the wings if he tries his best.

 

You know, I think this idea is just as important as what to do when he refuses. If my ds is having a particularly tough day getting started, I make sure to double-reinforce positive behavior over the next few days to help him get back on track.

 

Cat

[rwilliams]

The biggest problem is to start the work. Once he starts it ,usually he doesn't complain . Actually most of the time he enjoys it. But he prefers online games or tv .

 

 

If getting started is the main problem can you start school with something really enticing? A great read-aloud geared just for him? Can he do math while he eats a crunchy snack? Make getting to the table rewarding and once he is there and working slide in the less pleasant things. Also, reward his coming to the table everytime! My son really likes undivided attention and praise. Could you give him eye contact, praise and your attention for the first few minutes his starts his work?

[5wolfcubs]

I say, "It's your choice whether or not to do school today. Remember, you cannot play your games until all of your tasks are finished, and they must be finished by 5:30."

 

Then I walk away.

 

I've never had a child choose not to do school, and the longest it took for a kiddo to decide to join us after all was 15 minutes.

 

Cat

 

My philosophy is similar, except my 8yo ds will choose not to do school on occasion (once a month or so). I'm okay with that. He fills his time with playing outside, reading, interacting with siblings...usually in that order. If he misses an hour of online video gaming because he'd rather be doing one of the above...so be it. He does have to get all of the previous day's work done before he can play on the computer.

 

I'm not sure what I'll do as he gets older though, so I need to re-read this thread! :)

[Alice]

My 7 yr old likes having a list of what he needs to do that day and having the choice of what needs to be done first. I'm a list maker so I guess he comes by it naturally. :) We don't do it every day but often I will put up on the wall all the things he needs to do and then let him pick the order and check it off. It helps with getting started. I also give a fair amount of breaks and if he needs to use lot of mental energy, snacks.

[Kirch]

I always made dd sit on the couch, doing absolutely nothing until she would do it. No playing, eating, tv, nadda, nothing. I'd tell her that we all have a job to do and hers was for her to do her schoolwork and until that was completed, she would do nothing. :001_smile: It doesn't need to be creative, it just needs to work. And this for us, worked.

 

This, except on his bed instead of the couch. He'll get a plain PB sandwich rather than what the rest of us are having if he sticks it out over a meal time (although that hasn't happened). And I've also started letting him know that anything we don't get done due to his attitude problems will be added to tomorrow's work. Haven't had to follow through on that yet, though.