what is with pediatricians these days?

[Denisemomof4]

When dd11 went for her annual check-up the dr. questioned her about many things, but I hated it when she was asking if she was happy, was anything making her sad, is she stressed out, is anything going on in the home that is upsetting her, etc. Dd7 didn't get those questions so I guess it's for the older kids. But when dd7, my RAD dd, gets those questions, honestly it will FREAK ME OUT! I have no idea if she will tell the truth or a tall tale. Honestly, it just will depend on which way the wind is blowing that day. She LOVES to say and do things to push buttons with ANYONE in this house. It freaks me out knowing that this is coming with her!

 

Then today with dd11 we went into Boston Childrens again because dd was complaining of eye pressure and focus issues. I started with the optometrist and he said readers could help her to focus but that she really doesn't need much of a prescription. He did suggest we follow up with her ped. neurologist since she has a pineal cyst in her brain.

 

Well this dr today just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm going to have to look for another ped. neurologist but he's supposedly one of the best in the area. I hate it that he totally downplays her cyst and makes me feel like I'm a lunatic when I ever think anything is related to it. Well if the cyst had grown, it would be pressing on her optic nerves I've read. he tries to skirt around the issue because he must think I sit at home and obsess about it. I only do when she's having issues, and obsess wouldnt' be the right word, concerned would be.

 

Anyway I'm rambling. Today he asked her so many personal questions that it really bothered me. Is she happy. Last time he saw her there was a lot of sadness in her life, her nana and papa had died within 11 months of each other. Is she ok now, is she sad. Is anything making her sad. Is anything stressing her out. Is she seeing friends because socialization is SO important. DOes she have many friends. Does she do activities. I mean really, she's homeschooled but she's NOT a prisoner held in a cage! Sheesh!!! But he just kept asking her if she had anything going on to upset her. I think she was kind of shocked herself and gave half answers with a lot of pauses. Really, if he could see her, she's got such a great life and is one of the happiest kids I've ever seen!

 

What is UP with all these personal questions? BACK OFF!!! If my dd was sad and needed help with it, I'd bring her to a dr. If there was something she was struggling with, perhaps a therapist she could talking things through with and work them out. But really, what's up with this for a neurologist appt and an annual physical? I think it's just SO ridiculous. Do your drs do this after your kids reached 10 years of age? This never happened with my boys.

 

BTW, the doctor said she's getting a migraine in her eye. I don't believe it.

[MissKNG]

What is UP with all these personal questions?.

 

They are looking for reasons to medicate children.

[Denisemomof4]

They are looking for reasons to medicate children.

 

do you really think that's what it is? Do they get some sort of financial kickback for putting kids on meds? He wanted to medicate her for migraines and I said no, we'll see how she does. She hasn't had a migraine in a YEAR so why the heck would I medicate her?

[SonshineLearner]

Awww.... I'm sad for you!! I think they think it's their business... to know all of yours. Hopefully he was trying to be helpful and not just nosy..... Hopefully you can find someone you feel more comfortable with.... And I don't think it's obsession to want to know how a cyst is possibly causing something like vision issues... I think I'd try to have that checked out right away with someone else.

Again... Sorry!!

[Snickerdoodle]

You're only the mother. What do you know?

 

:001_rolleyes:

[Stacie]

It's likely nothing personal against you or her schooling. So many times we see something terrible happen to a teenager and everyone and his brother wonder if there was any sign. This is the doctor's way of screening for any possible negative behavior. Smile, and preplan for your younger daughter's questioning by talking with her doctor about her unpredictability based on her RAD diagnosis. No need to be blindsided or blindside someone else in the next few years.

[Dawn in OH]

They are looking for reasons to medicate children.

 

 

I agree. They want all of us one some kind of medication. If we don't have an actual problem, they will make one up for us.

[Carrie12345]

Pre-teen depression and suicide aren't as rare as anyone would like. To say "I know my kid" is, imo, the same as saying "Those kids' parents were either dumb or didn't care enough."

Better a 3rd party than no party.

[Julie in Austin]

Depression can be fatal for teens and this is one chance to catch it before something terrible happens.

 

If you have a child with RAD or other issues, it might be appropriate to talk to the ped first and ask to skip those questions as they might be upsetting to the child; you can assure her/him that her mental health issues are addressed in another setting.

[MissKNG]

do you really think that's what it is? ?

 

 

Just by the repeated line the questioning (are you upset/stress/sad) made me think that they are fishing for something.

 

Or they are looking to refer a child to a therapist and may get some sort of referral kickback. Then of course, the therapist will recommend medication.

 

I don't know what RAD means.

Edited January 25, 2011 by MissKNG

[Dmmetler]

When I was on neurological meds, my neuro would ask me some of this sort of question, because apparently changes in neurological chemistry can change how the medication works and, if it's a short-term situation (like going in during the middle of college exams because that's when the appointment happened), you don't want to change dosages for that reason.

 

If your child ISN'T on medication, I don't know what the reasoning would be.

[OH_Homeschooler]

A repeated line of questioning is pretty common in questionnaires and interviews to make sure answers are consistent. I have yet to meet any doctor that is pushing meds. I would not be suspicious, and I would be honest, or at least NOT be DISHONEST. I'd rather refuse to answer a question than just lie, because that can lead to real problems.

 

I'm not saying to blindly trust the doctor as an authority figure. I think it is appropriate to inquire about why any question is being asked. But I also think it doesn't make sense to assume a doctor is out to get you or has a secret agenda.

[chiguirre]

Then today with dd11 we went into Boston Childrens again because dd was complaining of eye pressure and focus issues. I started with the optometrist and he said readers could help her to focus but that she really doesn't need much of a prescription. He did suggest we follow up with her ped. neurologist since she has a pineal cyst in her brain.

 

Well this dr today just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm going to have to look for another ped. neurologist but he's supposedly one of the best in the area. I hate it that he totally downplays her cyst and makes me feel like I'm a lunatic when I ever think anything is related to it. Well if the cyst had grown, it would be pressing on her optic nerves I've read. he tries to skirt around the issue because he must think I sit at home and obsess about it. I only do when she's having issues, and obsess wouldnt' be the right word, concerned would be.

 

BTW, the doctor said she's getting a migraine in her eye. I don't believe it.

 

Uncomfortable personal questions aside, I'd get a second opinion. Given that you were referred by the optometrist, your pediatric neurologist should be taking your concerns and your dd's symptoms more seriously. He certainly shouldn't blow off the reason for your visit.

[Pretty in Pink]

I don't think it's anything personal. At my son's last check-up his physician asked him the same sorts of questions and he was (at that point) unaware that we homeschool. I think it is a standard line of questioning in some practices, and it is becoming more common.

 

When I realized the questions were getting personal I just asked my ds if he would like some privacy to speak with the doctor. He said no. His doctor asked him several questions regarding his friends, his hobbies, his progress in school, and he even briefly touched on sexual activity, drugs, and alcohol. He said something like, "You are growing up now. Some of your friends may be talking about these things or trying these things in the next few years. Do you feel comfortable talking to your parents about those things?"

[Laurie4b]

Depression can be fatal for teens and this is one chance to catch it before something terrible happens.

 

If you have a child with RAD or other issues, it might be appropriate to talk to the ped first and ask to skip those questions as they might be upsetting to the child; you can assure her/him that her mental health issues are addressed in another setting.

 

:iagree: Yes, this. They are looking for depression because it is treatable and can be fatal. I doubt it has a thing to do with homeschooling or anything suspicious.

 

I don't know a single doctor who is looking to put a kid on medication. Getting kickbacks from drug reps is illegal--correct? You could report it to the state board of medicine if they were getting kickbacks.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If he thinks she's getting a migraine in her eye, he's going to want to know if there are some stressful triggers in her life. Of course, his preliminary diagnosis might be wrong, but his questioning would be in line with that.

[msjones]

Why not ask the doctor the reasoning behind his questions? I would have been irked, too, but I wouldn't assume he was out to drug my child.

 

Maybe it's a new screening procedure for all girls over a certain age who visit their office? You may not like the procedure, but at least you'd know it wasn't something personal.

 

Or maybe he does have a specific concern about your daughter and he wanted to pursue that concern? I'm sure you'd want to know that.

 

Maybe he's anti-homeschooling (sounds like he could be...)-- in which case you probably would prefer a new doctor.

 

But I wouldn't assume he's pushing meds just for a financial bonus of some sort.

[Denisemomof4]

When I was on neurological meds, my neuro would ask me some of this sort of question, because apparently changes in neurological chemistry can change how the medication works and, if it's a short-term situation (like going in during the middle of college exams because that's when the appointment happened), you don't want to change dosages for that reason.

 

If your child ISN'T on medication, I don't know what the reasoning would be.

 

no meds! I do think he thinks that emotional issues can cause more migraines, but she hasn't had any in a year...... only this eye issue. He gets more and more intrusive each time we see him and I'm not sure why.

 

Even the pediatrician asked similar questions of dd11 but not of dd7. So I think it starts at a certain age.

[missesd]

I am due to take all of the kids in for well checks. I just realized in reading this, I will have to go through all that crap again... Honestly, your not the only one put on edge. I HATED the line of questioning. Really, I am there for their physical well being... you know eyes, ears, nose, throat, etc... My other kids never had that before. It has to be a change within the last 2 years or so. I am honestly thinking of taking all my kids to this new pediatrician here, I like the way she handled it better. Even worse is when they let a med student that we've never seen before ask these personal questions.... Ugh!!

[v-girl]

They are looking for reasons to medicate children.

 

No, they aren't. They don't get jack from putting kids on meds. The doc was likely trying to find out if there were any symptoms or anything going on that may be causing the problem. Often, kids will not offer info unless asked. That's why pediatricians ask all those questions.

[Mejane]

If my dd was sad and needed help with it, I'd bring her to a dr. If there was something she was struggling with, perhaps a therapist she could talking things through with and work them out. But really, what's up with this for a neurologist appt and an annual physical?

 

There were notes about previous sadness in her chart and he followed up on it. I'd say he was being thorough. I've had peds ask my kids questions from are they happy, to do they wear seat belts, to are they doing drugs. I don't mind because it's another eye. If one of my kids showed signs of depression or dangerous behavior that I missed, I'd be happy and thankful if someone else caught it.

[In The Great White North]

Then today with dd11 we went into Boston Childrens again because dd was complaining of eye pressure and focus issues. I started with the optometrist and he said readers could help her to focus but that she really doesn't need much of a prescription. He did suggest we follow up with her ped. neurologist since she has a pineal cyst in her brain.

 

Well this dr today just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm going to have to look for another ped. neurologist but he's supposedly one of the best in the area. I hate it that he totally downplays her cyst and makes me feel like I'm a lunatic when I ever think anything is related to it. Well if the cyst had grown, it would be pressing on her optic nerves I've read. he tries to skirt around the issue because he must think I sit at home and obsess about it. I only do when she's having issues, and obsess wouldnt' be the right word, concerned would be.

 

Uncomfortable personal questions aside, I'd get a second opinion. Given that you were referred by the optometrist, your pediatric neurologist should be taking your concerns and your dd's symptoms more seriously. He certainly shouldn't blow off the reason for your visit.

 

:iagree: A cyst isn't a migraine.

 

It doesn't matter how "good" he is, if he insists on focusing on something that isn't the issue.

 

Today he asked her so many personal questions that it really bothered me. Is she happy. Last time he saw her there was a lot of sadness in her life, her nana and papa had died within 11 months of each other. Is she ok now, is she sad. Is anything making her sad. Is anything stressing her out. Is she seeing friends because socialization is SO important. DOes she have many friends. Does she do activities. I mean really, she's homeschooled but she's NOT a prisoner held in a cage! Sheesh!!! But he just kept asking her if she had anything going on to upset her. I think she was kind of shocked herself and gave half answers with a lot of pauses. Really, if he could see her, she's got such a great life and is one of the happiest kids I've ever seen!

 

 

Hasn't he heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Let's just convince the child that she is sad!

 

I suspect that he is just so inept with children he has only one thing to talk about: school. Since he figured he couldn't talk about that, he went on like a broken record with his questions. Time for you to take over the conversation! If you babble on enthusiastically enough, I've found most doctors drop the whole line.

 

But I still agree that a new neurologist is in order. It doesn't sound like he communicates well with either you or your dd.

[Gratia271]

When dd11 went for her annual check-up the dr. questioned her about many things, but I hated it when she was asking if she was happy, was anything making her sad, is she stressed out, is anything going on in the home that is upsetting her, etc.

 

 

When we took my daughter to the ER recently for a concussion she sustained while sledding, they asked her whether she felt safe at home as well as whether she had ever thought about hurting herself. ???? :001_huh:

[Remudamom]

This makes me thankful for our family doctor and the ER doc. They both homeschool and have more children than we do.

[amey311]

When we took my daughter to the ER recently for a concussion she sustained while sledding, they asked her whether she felt safe at home as well as whether she had ever thought about hurting herself. ???? :001_huh:

 

I think this is all part of a wider goal of trying to reduce domestic abuse. Plus hospitals are often safe havens and have access to social workers, etc. I've seen signs about those things in hospital bathrooms, in some of the exam rooms and other places. A trip to a hospital might be a chance when an abused child or adult can get away from her abuser. It's not a judgment of your family, it's something EVERYONE is asked.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I think this is all part of a wider goal of trying to reduce domestic abuse. Plus hospitals are often safe havens and have access to social workers, etc. I've seen signs about those things in hospital bathrooms, in some of the exam rooms and other places. A trip to a hospital might be a chance when an abused child or adult can get away from her abuser. It's not a judgment of your family, it's something EVERYONE is asked.

 

 

This.

 

 

I have often advised victims of domestic violence and child abuse (yes, sometimes kids call hotlines) to go to an ER FOR ANY REASON, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO MAKE SOMETHING UP just to (hopefully) get a moment away from their abuser.

 

Sometimes the only chance they get is when they are with a Dr/nurse,etc. Those questions asked in the ER after the sledding accident were entirely appropriate screening questions and they would have been remiss if they DIDN'T ask them.

[Denisemomof4]

There were notes about previous sadness in her chart and he followed up on it. I'd say he was being thorough. I've had peds ask my kids questions from are they happy, to do they wear seat belts, to are they doing drugs. I don't mind because it's another eye. If one of my kids showed signs of depression or dangerous behavior that I missed, I'd be happy and thankful if someone else caught it.

 

you're right - I didn't think of it. She did see him two months after my mother had died, and when he asked about my dad, I cried. But this guy really does rub me the wrong way. He plays down her brain cyst and drills on spelling and multiplication.

 

After talking to dh, we've decided not to bring her back there again.

[Gratia271]

I can somewhat understand the "do you feel safe at home" routine when a child comes to the ER with a concussion but asking a young girl if she has contemplated hurting herself is a little odd in my opinion. My daughter is the matter of fact type and basically gave them the "you are asking ridiculous questions" look along with her reply, but it opened a whole can of worms when she asked me why people would want to hurt themselves. Maybe my children live in a sheltered world, but she had no cognizance that people did these things.

[Leanna Tomlinson]

Denise :grouphug:,

I totally agree that pediatricians are too nosy and should mind their own business! I hate it that the Dr. dismissed your concerns, and I agree with others that I would want to make sure the cyst had not grown before I believed the migraine conclusion.

 

However,

In case it helps, I just wanted to share my personal experience with migraines in the eye. I have migraine headaches, and I also have migraines in my eye. They almost never happen at the same time. Sometimes I'll have regular migraines off and on for months and never feel the eye pressure. Other times I'll have the eye pressure and not the headaches. I don't know why they don't come together, but they almost never do. Both types of my migraines do seem to have the same triggers, and one huge trigger this month is blinding sunlight reflecting off of the snow. I just thought I'd mention it in case you see a connection.

 

I hope you find some answers.

[Denisemomof4]

Denise :grouphug:,

I totally agree that pediatricians are too nosy and should mind their own business! I hate it that the Dr. dismissed your concerns, and I agree with others that I would want to make sure the cyst had not grown before I believed the migraine conclusion.

 

However,

In case it helps, I just wanted to share my personal experience with migraines in the eye. I have migraine headaches, and I also have migraines in my eye. They almost never happen at the same time. Sometimes I'll have regular migraines off and on for months and never feel the eye pressure. Other times I'll have the eye pressure and not the headaches. I don't know why they don't come together, but they almost never do. Both types of my migraines do seem to have the same triggers, I just thought I'd mention it in case you see a connection.

 

I hope you find some answers.

 

wow! I wonder if that's what's going on with dd? He said it's very rare for a child to get a migraine in their eye, but I can tell you we're outside admiring the snow a LOT these days. We both think it's so beautiful and are enjoying it while it's here. It never occurred to me it could be causing issues!

 

If you were outside on a sunny, winter day wearing sunglasses, would that help? She has several pair and I'm thinking I need to insist she wear them on sunny days.

 

Thanks!!!

[FaithManor]

My big problem with our now fired pediatrician was his penchant for acting like an amateur psychiatrist and that's EXACTLY what he was. He doesn't have the training, My sister is working on her psychology master's and this really ticks her off because they ask all of these questions, but 99999 out of 100,000 kids will not answer these "in your face" questions from a ped in a way that is actually going to be indicitive of a problem or not. Kids with issues are wonderful at hiding them unless the doc has had specific training that clues him/her in on how to ask, what to ask, watching facial gestures, hand gestures, tilt of the head, speed of response, etc. There is a lot of "reading" the person that must be done and it's quite scientific and can be done with remarkable accuracy if the training is there. However, pediatricians are not given this training. Psychologists and Psychiatrists, behavioral specialists, etc. are.

 

So, my huge problem is the level of nosiness that is really ineffective in actually identifying a child on the edge of the abyss. Plus, most of them don't have enough training to effectively medicate for depression in children/teens...our ped nearly killed our niece with the stream of scrips for antipsychotics that flew from his prescription pad and he couldn't be held accountable for anything...all within the norm...yet once she was taken to the psychiatrist.....holy cow...This man was LIVID! As for neuro psychs, I've never dealt with one before so I don't know if the level of training is such that they could be good at behavioral/psychiatric diagnoses.

 

There are only three pediatricans in our county and no pediatric specialists of any kind. The peds are absolutely, fundamentally, vocally, in your face opposed to homeschooling. DS's pediatric cardiologist, two counties over, is very supportive of homeschooling. I guess there must not be much emotionally or psychologically that can affect ds's condition because he's never questioned ds like that. Mostly he wants ot know if I feel that ds is doing well, have I seen any changes in him, is there anything that has given me cause for concern, etc. He's very mom and dad oriented.

 

Denise, if this guy rubs you wrong in the gut, find another. It doesn't matter what his motivations for all of the questioning is. If something about his personality does not mesh with you and he isn't taking you seriously or as developed some preconceived notion of you that affects his clinical judgment, then you aren't going to get the care you want for your daughter. As a piano teacher, I've more than one passed a student to a different teacher that I thought he/she or the parent would relate better to someone else. No hard feelings towards the student or parent...just looking out for everyone's best interests.

 

Faith

[wormbuy]

If he thinks she's getting a migraine in her eye, he's going to want to know if there are some stressful triggers in her life. Of course, his preliminary diagnosis might be wrong, but his questioning would be in line with that.

:iagree:

 

I have had those myself. More when I was a teen than later, later I just got typical migranes once in a while. I have never been medicated for them. Does an OTC headache remedy help? Or a nap? Dr. could be right, consider his/her opinion, but don't ignore your mama instinct!