AuntPol Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/8963407/ Summary In two days, A 10 year boy charged $447 with his parents paypal for facebook applications. The parents filed a report with the police and the child is being charged with financial transaction card fraud in juvenile court. The thing I am wondering is did they press charges in order to try and retrieve the money? If it were my child, I would have took away computer privilages and he would have to repay the money. I don't see the point in using taxpayer dollars and use up resources to discipline my child. The money would be lost but should have been better secured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 That child now has a permanent record for a short term discipline issue. No, I wouldn't. I'd have him pay me back half of the money he spent. Only half because I consider myself partially responsible for the situation by not keeping control of my credit/debit/banking tools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I can't help but think there is more to the story. Maybe the parents were at the very end of their resources with this child. Perhaps they hoped that by pressing charges they'd be able to get their child more help? If it was a one time event and the child is otherwise a perfectly well-behaved child then, yes, it seems like an extreme reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/8963407/ Summary In two days, A 10 year boy charged $447 with his parents paypal for facebook applications. The parents filed a report with the police and the child is being charged with financial transaction card fraud in juvenile court. The thing I am wondering is did they press charges in order to try and retrieve the money? If it were my child, I would have took away computer privilages and he would have to repay the money. I don't see the point in using taxpayer dollars and use up resources to discipline my child. The money would be lost but should have been better secured. Not for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Since I have absolutely no idea what the back story is on this - I will side with the parents. Perhaps this kid is Trouble - you know - "with a capital T". Maybe (and I am just thinking out loud here) that this little juvenile offense that his parents brought on will get him back on the right track. That maybe it's an example of tough love - that is really needed and will really help this kid. Sure, it hurts now, but it would hurt a lot more later if I am right with my guesses. So, to get back to the original question, would I do this? I pray that I have the courage to do whatever God needs from me in raising my children to love, honor and serve Him and others. I know that some parents have to make decisions, that when put on the front page of the paper make us all shudder, question and arm-chair quarterback. Tough love is really, really tough. I pray that I have the strength, when and if it's needed, to ignore the looks and the questioning and do what's right for my kids. What's in their best interest - whether my kids or others think it's right. [ETA - Maybe he's a GREAT kid and his parents are NUTS. Maybe. Who knows? If they are - he can grow up and move out at 18. And if he's a great kid, this record will likely never affect him and his character will speak for who his is.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 If it were a wit's end type thing as Daisy described, possibly. If not, no, I would not turn in my child for that particular crime at that age. I'd feel partially to blame for not having my card numbers secure. To answer the thread title honestly, yes, if it were a capital crime I would not harbor my child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I'm betting there's more to the story...that this isn't a one-time or first-time event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I can't help but think there is more to the story. :iagree: So, to get back to the original question, would I do this? I pray that I have the courage to do whatever God needs from me in raising my children to love, honor and serve Him and others. I know that some parents have to make decisions, that when put on the front page of the paper make us all shudder, question and arm-chair quarterback. Tough love is really, really tough. I pray that I have the strength, when and if it's needed, to ignore the looks and the questioning and do what's right for my kids. What's in their best interest - whether my kids or others think it's right. Well said! I've known parents who have made the decision to press charges, as well as those who have decided not to. It's never an easy decision. It is heartbreaking to watch a mom and dad struggle with this, and I can't imagine the struggle it must be to actually be the one to make that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I would have to have exhausted every other option available to me. For that particular offense, the child would pay me back ALL the money (just because I didn't do a good enough job protecting myself doesn't mean it's suddenly ok to victimize me), and the child would be lucky to sit in front of a computer screen for a very very long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I would have to have exhausted every other option available to me. For that particular offense, the child would pay me back ALL the money (just because I didn't do a good enough job protecting myself doesn't mean it's suddenly ok to victimize me), and the child would be lucky to sit in front of a computer screen for a very very long time. :iagree: And even if it wasn't a first time thing- not for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 A 10yo? No. Not exactly sure what they were trying to accomplish, but even if the child *were* trouble with a capital T, the juvenile court system is not a place for a 10yo who didn't commit a violent crime. I just don't think that the courts have the resources to deal with what is essentially a parenting issue. Last night my neighbor called the police on her 12yo because he stole something from the neighbor's house. The neighbor had *no* intentions of pressing charges, but the mother called the police because she was tired of dealing with him. It wasn't a police issue and she should've called a therapist, not the police. She really just wanted them to take him so she didn't have to deal with him anymore and told the police as much. They suggested sports or scouts rather than jail, but she didn't like that idea.:glare: Getting a child involved with the juvenile system does more harm than good, in my opinion, especially when you are talking about young children (not even teens) who are doing stupid things. A better response would be "lock down" where the child isn't allowed to do anything without direct supervision while the family seeks appropriate counseling (if it wasn't a one time thing.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amydavis Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I can't help but think there is more to the story. Maybe the parents were at the very end of their resources with this child. Perhaps they hoped that by pressing charges they'd be able to get their child more help? If it was a one time event and the child is otherwise a perfectly well-behaved child then, yes, it seems like an extreme reaction. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in FL Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I thought that seemed odd! That should be a discipline issue handled at home!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 No I would not and I have to wonder about the supervision of this kid:001_huh: How on earth did he have unsupervised internet access? Where were the parents? IMHO it seems like they were not doing their job at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I can't help but think there is more to the story. Maybe the parents were at the very end of their resources with this child. Perhaps they hoped that by pressing charges they'd be able to get their child more help? If it was a one time event and the child is otherwise a perfectly well-behaved child then, yes, it seems like an extreme reaction. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Getting a child involved with the juvenile system does more harm than good, in my opinion, especially when you are talking about young children (not even teens) who are doing stupid things. A better response would be "lock down" where the child isn't allowed to do anything without direct supervision while the family seeks appropriate counseling (if it wasn't a one time thing.) :iagree: What good is going to come from getting a 10 yo involved with the juvenile justice system? It seems like an excellent way to get your child exposed to all sorts of really bad influences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'm not a lawyer, but is there any possibility that there were legal reasons for having the child charged? Hypothetical: The parents have to pay back the $ unless they claim theft; to claim theft, they have to file a police report; they have some assurance (or arrangement?) that, with a child this age, they can have charges filed and have to bring him to juvenile court, but he won't have to be taken into custody; and his whole record disappears when he's an adult. There would be no trauma for the child and they don't have to pay $500. Just a hypothetical. Feel free to poke holes in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) Most likely this case is nothing like my household, but just to give an idea of what *could* be the other side of the story. We have an 11 year old daughter. She was only with her birthmom for 11 months but apparently that was all it took. She steals constantly (you can be watching her, she is very good at it), lies about everything, climbs out her window at night, stays up until everyone is asleep to wreck havoc on the house, pees on things when she is mad, hurts the other kids, refuses to get dressed for days, doesn't shower for weeks unless we physically make her and I could go on. We now have security cameras, alarms on doors, alarms on the outside of windows (thieves probably think we are nuts LOL), locks on everyone else's door, etc We have seen multiple therapists and have been told by everyone that we have already done everything they would recommend. She is the "most disturbed child" they have ever seen. Nothing has worked. We can't afford long-term hospitalization, it is VERY expensive, even with our insurance. All the help we can procure has done nothing. Most people look at our situation and think we our horrible, no little tiny 60 pound girl could possibly be that bad (until they spend a few hours at our house anyway, then they are horrified). If she did something like that, I would press charges in a heartbeat, if for no other reason then a juvenile record opens up other types of help for us. But also because because children like her just don't *get it* until there are very serious consequences, they never believe it will happen to them. That all being said, most likely the parents are nuts, but just in case, i won't pass judgement :tongue_smilie: Edited January 21, 2011 by ds4159 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 No I would not and I have to wonder about the supervision of this kid:001_huh: How on earth did he have unsupervised internet access? Where were the parents? IMHO it seems like they were not doing their job at all. :001_huh: Not everyone parents like you and judging everyone under one rule is wrong, IMHO. My children have unsupervised internet access and wouldn't do something like that. I have reasons I raise my children the way I do and I'm a good parent, thank you very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 A 10 year old child should not be on facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'm not a lawyer, but is there any possibility that there were legal reasons for having the child charged? Hypothetical: The parents have to pay back the $ unless they claim theft; to claim theft, they have to file a police report; they have some assurance (or arrangement?) that, with a child this age, they can have charges filed and have to bring him to juvenile court, but he won't have to be taken into custody; and his whole record disappears when he's an adult. There would be no trauma for the child and they don't have to pay $500. Just a hypothetical. Feel free to poke holes in it. Congratulations. You got it. This is exactly what has to happen in order for the account holders to avoid paying unauthorized charges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 nt -- wrong thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/8963407/ Summary In two days, A 10 year boy charged $447 with his parents paypal for facebook applications. The parents filed a report with the police and the child is being charged with financial transaction card fraud in juvenile court. The thing I am wondering is did they press charges in order to try and retrieve the money? If it were my child, I would have took away computer privilages and he would have to repay the money. I don't see the point in using taxpayer dollars and use up resources to discipline my child. The money would be lost but should have been better secured. No, if this were my son I wouldn't have him arrested, but I would make him repay every dime of the money. I can also guarantee you that boy wouldn't see, touch or even hear a computer again until he turned 18 and he'd have plenty of chores to keep him occupied during what would have otherwise been his computer time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 No, I would not have my child arrested for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'm not a lawyer, but is there any possibility that there were legal reasons for having the child charged? Hypothetical: The parents have to pay back the $ unless they claim theft; to claim theft, they have to file a police report; they have some assurance (or arrangement?) that, with a child this age, they can have charges filed and have to bring him to juvenile court, but he won't have to be taken into custody; and his whole record disappears when he's an adult. There would be no trauma for the child and they don't have to pay $500. Just a hypothetical. Feel free to poke holes in it. My theory is: I hate to judge the parents without hearing more of the story. I'm particularly soft-hearted, and I can't imagine ever turning my children over to the police. Seriously, I would be the one helping them cross the border. :tongue_smilie: However, I know there are children who seem to be trouble from the time they arrive, and perhaps this is something they felt necessary for that reason. I wouldn't put a blotch on my child's record *just* to save my family a few hundred dollars. If the credit card company or bank or whomever said "you have to press charges or pay up" then we would pay up and the child would be disciplined another way. Furthermore, since the child won't realize the effects of it until later, I don't see how it could be effective discipline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renmew Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I had my 8 year old stepson arrested when he molested my 3 year old son. He had tried the same move on 2 other kids during the prior few months and neither of them would call the police. I told him that if he ever touched my son, and we kept them apart as best we could, I would call the police. When he did, I called. It scared the crap out of him, brought Child Services into my home, and the boy got real help. He is now 11 and much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 A 10yo? No. Not exactly sure what they were trying to accomplish, but even if the child *were* trouble with a capital T, the juvenile court system is not a place for a 10yo who didn't commit a violent crime. I just don't think that the courts have the resources to deal with what is essentially a parenting issue. Last night my neighbor called the police on her 12yo because he stole something from the neighbor's house. The neighbor had *no* intentions of pressing charges, but the mother called the police because she was tired of dealing with him. It wasn't a police issue and she should've called a therapist, not the police. She really just wanted them to take him so she didn't have to deal with him anymore and told the police as much. They suggested sports or scouts rather than jail, but she didn't like that idea.:glare: Getting a child involved with the juvenile system does more harm than good, in my opinion, especially when you are talking about young children (not even teens) who are doing stupid things. A better response would be "lock down" where the child isn't allowed to do anything without direct supervision while the family seeks appropriate counseling (if it wasn't a one time thing.) :iagree: The legal system does not make a good parent. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 No, if this were my son I wouldn't have him arrested, but I would make him repay every dime of the money. I can also guarantee you that boy wouldn't see, touch or even hear a computer again until he turned 18 and he'd have plenty of chores to keep him occupied during what would have otherwise been his computer time. :iagree: I would think of letting him back on a computer, after a long period of time of good behavior, but only under supervision, and he would otherwise be locked off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) Yep, I bet they filed charges in order for the bank to reverse the debits to their account. I had a relative whose adult son repeatedly stole from her accounts via identity theft/fraud. (many tens of thousands of dollars over several incidents spanning many years). Each time, she would face the choice of eating the losses or reporting the crime. Sensibly enough, the banks/cc/etc wouldn't reverse the debits/charges unless she reported it as a crime. There was once when she couldn't protect him b/c he stole from a bunch of her EMPLOYEE's accounts (he stole their info from her office). . . but the rest of the times she just ate the losses, even though they were *very* significant to her. She did eventually learn to prevent him from accessing her accounts. . . but it took a lot of errors. FWIW, it seems insane to me to do that to a 10 yo. Stupid people using the court to solve a behavior problem with a young kid. Stupid. ETA: We were embezzled once at our business. We faced the same quandary: eat 10k in stolen funds or report the theft. . . Our insurance company would cover the losses IF we reported the theft. Only If. Makes sense, but can be a bitter pill if you've been robbed by someone you care for. At the time, we were so shocked and saddenned by the actions of a trusted & beloved employee that we weren't angry. (We got very angry later.) It killed us to throw him to the wolves. But, that was what we did. (I kept telling myself that if I wanted to give 10k to someone, it wouldn't have been someone who'd choose to steal from me!) Edited January 21, 2011 by StephanieZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'm not a lawyer, but is there any possibility that there were legal reasons for having the child charged? Hypothetical: The parents have to pay back the $ unless they claim theft; to claim theft, they have to file a police report; they have some assurance (or arrangement?) that, with a child this age, they can have charges filed and have to bring him to juvenile court, but he won't have to be taken into custody; and his whole record disappears when he's an adult. There would be no trauma for the child and they don't have to pay $500. Just a hypothetical. Feel free to poke holes in it. That is very possible, but I still consider it extremely stupid and short-sided if this is true. I'd let the $500 go into collections before I'd have a 10yo arrested for it.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rootsnwings Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 A 10 year old child should not be on facebook. Exactly!!!! These parents did this to themselves, IMHO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'm not a lawyer, but is there any possibility that there were legal reasons for having the child charged? Hypothetical: The parents have to pay back the $ unless they claim theft; to claim theft, they have to file a police report; they have some assurance (or arrangement?) that, with a child this age, they can have charges filed and have to bring him to juvenile court, but he won't have to be taken into custody; and his whole record disappears when he's an adult. There would be no trauma for the child and they don't have to pay $500. Just a hypothetical. Feel free to poke holes in it. :iagree:This is what I thought. When I read it to my dh, that was the first thing he said as well. I would never do that - I would just be out the money and figure it was my own fault for allowing a child that young access to my paypal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) :001_huh: Not everyone parents like you and judging everyone under one rule is wrong, IMHO. My children have unsupervised internet access and wouldn't do something like that. I have reasons I raise my children the way I do and I'm a good parent, thank you very much. I am sure you are a good parent:) Your kids are older too. IMHO I think children should not have unsupervised access on the internet for their protection since there have been many instances of children being victimized by predators over the internet. Plus there is a lot of objectionable stuff on the internet that kids can stumble across. IMHO I just think it is better to have computers only in the family room:) We plan on keeping our computer there for the next decade at least;) I also hope to foster trust in our son but at the same time safeguard him the best I can. Not everyone is going to agree with me that is for sure:). My 2 cents:) Edited January 21, 2011 by priscilla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieH Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 For a first time offense like that? No, of course not. But if it were a repeated problem with the kid, then I would consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieH Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 :001_huh: Not everyone parents like you and judging everyone under one rule is wrong, IMHO. My children have unsupervised internet access and wouldn't do something like that. I have reasons I raise my children the way I do and I'm a good parent, thank you very much. :iagree: My 9yo has her own facebook (GASP!!!) It's totally locked down, I have access, only family members and friends I know who are also on my fb are allowed on. She uses it to play games, and I suggested it for her after I was sick of her messing with all my games! The only issue I had was when she made a quiz and used some family pictures, but I deleted it and told her she is not allowed to use any of our pictures for that stuff, and it never happened again. I would say her internet access is totally unsupervised, but I don't hover over her the whole time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) Last night my neighbor called the police on her 12yo because he stole something from the neighbor's house. The neighbor had *no* intentions of pressing charges, but the mother called the police because she was tired of dealing with him. It wasn't a police issue and she should've called a therapist, not the police. She really just wanted them to take him so she didn't have to deal with him anymore and told the police as much. Sorry but theft IS a police issue. I care not a whit if the neighbour wanted to press charges, stealing is a crime. I am not saying that the child should be incarcerated or even have a permanent record but many a police officer will show up and scare the "you know what" out of a child and stop such behavior. Were my child a thief the LAST person I would call would be a therapist. A thief does not need his "feelings" massaged, he needs, at very least a good scare and in my opinion much more. Edited January 21, 2011 by pqr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Sorry but theft IS a police issue. I care not a whit if the neighbour wanted to press charges, stealing is a crime. I am not saying that the child should be incarcerated or even have a permanent record but many a police officer will show up and scare the "you know what" out of a child and stop such behavior. Were my child a thief the LAST person I would call would be a therapist. A thief does not need his "feelings" massaged, he needs, at very least a good scare and in my opinion much more. No, what he needs is a mother who does more than scream and cuss at him and throw things. No, he doesn't need his "feelings massaged" but a therapist could get to the bottom of the underlying problem. AND (the biggest part) it could make his mother get the help she needs so that she can parent her children the way they deserve. The police officer was right - she should spend some time and effort raising him instead of ignoring him until he does something bad. I wouldn't be surprised if he does it because it is the only way she pays any attention to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I can't help but think there is more to the story. Maybe the parents were at the very end of their resources with this child. Perhaps they hoped that by pressing charges they'd be able to get their child more help? If it was a one time event and the child is otherwise a perfectly well-behaved child then, yes, it seems like an extreme reaction. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.