Sue G in PA Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This is a vent. This is only a vent. This is not a debate or a controvery or whatever. :D In researching what exactly is wrong with my ds9 who was recently hospitalized for severe, violent, rageful temper tantrums and diagnosed with severe mood dysregulation, I have obviously had quite a few people tell me to eliminate this or that from his diet. It just got me thinking about food in general in this day and age and all the warnings about harmful thisses or thats in it. Am I making sense? I mean first we have the obvious non-food stuff like food dyes, preservatives, additives, trans-fats, etc. which cuts out most, if not all, of the processed foods. Then there is sugar, hfcs, cs, etc. which eliminates the rest of the processed garbage as well as ice cream (sugar), chocolate, cookies, muffins, cakes, pies, etc. Then we move to our more natural and supposedly healthy foods like fruits and vegetables. Well, we can't eat those b/c of the pesticides sprayed on them and apples contain salicylates (Feingold diet). And lets not forget all the genetically modified fruits and veges. Let's talk meat. Forget pig products and shell-fish b/c those are "scavengers", not intended to be food for our bodies (from The Makers Diet by Jordan Rubin for those not familiar). And we can't eat beef products b/c the cows don't graze on grass anymore, are fed antibiotics and steroids or whatever or chicken b/c they are caged, don't roam free and are fed antibiotics, etc. Fish is contaminated with mercury, dairy is a no-no, the water is polluted unless you filter it or buy bottled (and that is questionable). And then we have our infamous HUGE no-no...GLUTEN! And I am not mocking gluten intolerance or Celiacs here...I realize it is a huge problem but I am frustrated! So, tell me, please, what then CAN we eat? :001_huh: OK. Vent over. Going to bed. Head is swimming after researching gluten intolerance, dairy intolerance, the damages of artificial dyes, preservatives, etc. in an attempt to help my poor litte boy who is STILL in the mental facility after a week and we still don't know much more what is wrong than we did a week ago. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Sue, I have no advice, which you don't need at the moment anyway. I'm so sorry for this difficult trial. Praying that you get the exact answers you need. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: I think that would leave mostly bugs. Wait, it also leaves the few things I'm not allergic to--taro, quail, millet, etc. (I may be able to eat bugs, but I haven't gotten that desperate yet. By the time I'm hungry enough to eat bugs, I don't think I'll have enough energy to catch one.) /Done joking. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:and prayers for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) :grouphug: I think that would leave mostly bugs. Wait, it also leaves the few things I'm not allergic to--taro, quail, millet, etc. (I may be able to eat bugs, but I haven't gotten that desperate yet. By the time I'm hungry enough to eat bugs, I don't think I'll have enough energy to catch one.) /Done joking. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:and prayers for you. Maybe you can visit China and eat some interesting bugs there. Maybe you already have. :lol: Oooops. Sorry, I hope that this isn't a hurtful issue for you. It just occurred to me that even though I thought I was expressing humor, if this is a hurtful spot in your life it may not sound funny at all. Edited January 14, 2011 by Miss Sherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bird Girl Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I find that sometimes it's easier to blame someone for health problems than to just accept that sometimes, poor health happens to people for no good reason other than bad luck. I think it's a kind of magical thinking, ("If I never feed my kids food dye/wheat/apples, then I'll never have to go through what she's going through.") It's painful to be faced with that kind of response when you are going through bad health in your family. :grouphug: I hope your son finds a peaceful rhythm to his emotions quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) I find that sometimes it's easier to blame someone for health problems than to just accept that sometimes, poor health happens to people for no good reason other than bad luck. I think it's a kind of magical thinking, ("If I never feed my kids food dye/wheat/apples, then I'll never have to go through what she's going through.") It's painful to be faced with that kind of response when you are going through bad health in your family. :grouphug: I hope your son finds a peaceful rhythm to his emotions quickly. Well, I certainly hope that Sue is not feeling blamed, or that anyone else here feels blamed for bad health problems in their family. But I don't think that looking for causes to a health condition is about blame. It is just about trying to find help. But yes, I agree. Sometimes health problems just happen and we never know why. But that doesn't mean that there are not often times that there are things we can do to improve our health. Sue, good for you for trying to find the best answers for your sons and families health and well being. It's exhausting,sorting through all of the information. You are a good Mom. It seems that parenthood is full of potential reasons to feel guilty. So many things pop into my head. What if I didn't fall on the ice when I was pg with oldest dd? Would she have so much trouble with math ? and so on. Edited January 14, 2011 by Miss Sherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bird Girl Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 No, the opposite! I'm sorry if it came out that way--I was just thinking of some unhelpful "advice" that a friend of mine was given when her daughter was born at only 26 weeks gestation, and suffered from severe cerebral palsy. My friend was told, "Too bad you didn't eat enough protein while you were pregnant--it would have prevented your preeclampsia." It was just so thoughtless and uncaring--my friend's liver nearly failed, and her daughter nearly died. And the diet/preeclampsia connection has never been solidly established. I could just see someone hearing about Sue's son and saying, "Well, if he were my child, I would take him off food dyes!" As though Sue hasn't been thinking of every possibility for improving his health. It's that unhelpful tone of "Well, I would never have YOUR problem" that smacks of magical thinking to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracesteacher Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 With all of my dd food allergies that is a question I ask myself every flipping day. What I love is the hidden ingrediants they dont tell you about. Like having a corn allergic child who is reacting to potatoes. Come to find out that the bags are lined with corn and that it gets in to potatoes so even scrubbing them and cooking them the protien is there and she reacts Forumla work for some kids however finding one thatworks for my child has tested even the dr patience. I understand your rant.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 The thing with food is, the same diet isn't going to be ideal for everyone. Humans are omnivores. Unless it is poisonous in some fashion that cannot be neutralized, someone somewhere probably eats it. In much of the world (and everywhere before the last century or so), what to eat is a pretty simple proposition because there are only so many foods available. They can be divided into staples, luxury/delicacy foods, and desperation foods, and are determined by a complex interaction of culture and environment. A person who cannot thrive and be healthy on the local staples is probably not going to live to adulthood. At the same time, genetic quirks such as lactase persistence (the mutations that let people of European and some African descent groups digest lactose into adulthood) that make it easier to rely on certain foods may spread, and others may arise because the culture's diet allows them--a taro-staple diet doesn't require digesting much gluten, an Inuit diet can permit sucrose intolerance because they ate almost no sugar, etc. Then, we have modern developed-world availability of all sorts of food with almost anything available as a luxury, recent invention of new food-like edible substances, an intermixed gene pool of people whose ancestors had quite a few different kinds of traditional diets while keeping the overall cultural assumptions of food staples of only part of that ancestral population, combined with a shift of formerly luxury foods into the range of staples (sugar!) and an expectation that if one isn't thriving on one's culturally defaulted diet, one should (and can) choose to eat something else, intermixed with the cultural tendency to expect everyone to still eat the same thing being translated into this and that diet or food agenda trying to be sold as the solution for everyone (ex: someone mentioned the Maker's Diet). In conclusion, we suffer from an overabundance of variety, of quantity, etc., and thanks to the diversity of the population and the lack of continuity of the diet, more and more people are developing food quirks of one kind or another. We have food issues. But not all our issues stem from food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Do the best you can, where you're at, with what you have. Our DD Rebecca is the reason we've spent so much time, effort, and energy learning about food. It's overwhelming, I'm sorry. She's seven and I still get frustrated and overwhelmed. We recently found out she is intolerant to some degree or other of eggs, nuts, and wheat. :001_huh: Sigh. You CAN eat produce - fruit & veggies and meat. Yes, he's right, corn fed beef - not so great, and probably to blame for all the e coli outbreaks. Better than nothing though if your budget doesn't allow. And, we still eat fish. We've found which are best for us, which aren't, and go from there. Fish is pretty vital to the diet & health. Chicken, Turkey, Goat, Lamb, etc. Breakfast - assuming eggs aren't your problem, we were SHOCKED, are a good source of healthy food. Gluten free oatmeal. If you do grains, Gluten Free Goddess has alternative recipes. But, truthfully, you'd be better off not making your life THAT complicated. Instead of trying to replace what he can't eat or shouldn't eat, just don't eat them. All of the replacing and trying and making up for - you'll spend your life in the kitchen. Lunch - meat, beans, lentils, soup. Supper - Salad (not iceberg lettuce) Mix, Meat, Veggies If you simplify this way your grocery shopping won't be nearly as expensive, your cooking not nearly as complicated, your life not as overwhelming, as when you try to replace all the things you'd otherwise miss out on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 It's that unhelpful tone of "Well, I would never have YOUR problem" that smacks of magical thinking to me. It just means they haven't been there, done that, and gotten the t-shirt. :auto: Yet. But they will. It's only a matter of time. I think I was awfully full of my healthy little self.... Back in my twenties when I was wonderful & the picture of good health and only had a couple of very healthy little children. Time, more children, imperfection, and life in general has a way of humbling a person. :glare: Probably for the better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 No, the opposite! I'm sorry if it came out that way--I was just thinking of some unhelpful "advice" that a friend of mine was given when her daughter was born at only 26 weeks gestation, and suffered from severe cerebral palsy. My friend was told, "Too bad you didn't eat enough protein while you were pregnant--it would have prevented your preeclampsia." It was just so thoughtless and uncaring--my friend's liver nearly failed, and her daughter nearly died. And the diet/preeclampsia connection has never been solidly established. I could just see someone hearing about Sue's son and saying, "Well, if he were my child, I would take him off food dyes!" As though Sue hasn't been thinking of every possibility for improving his health. It's that unhelpful tone of "Well, I would never have YOUR problem" that smacks of magical thinking to me. Oh, I"m sorry that happened to your friend. I have not had the experience of losing a child like that so I can only compare to other loses.I have lost several relatives and it is so easy to take on false guilt for any and every reason. I felt a little guilty when my uncle died because I had a sinus infection but was thinking maybe it was really the flu and he could have caught it and it could have been something that made him weaker. Well, when I think about it, I felt a strange guilt when my Dad died and when an elderly friend died. But in my mind I know it was not "real" guilt. No one needs false guilt suggested to them over the health or loss of a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Sue - I feel exactly the same. My son is gluten free, but he is also severely allergic to all nuts and fish and is dairy intolerant. Then, when I try to look at feeding my children healthy, I absolutely hate hearing that I should be doing free range and organic. We simply can't afford it and I've heard too much about organic products being scams in that they do contain pesticides to invest all our extra money in them. So, I hear your frustration, but all you can do is try to do what you feel you can do. One baby step at a time. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 UGH! I hear you! And I have friends who ascribe to each of the "food religions" you have mentioned. I have a dear friend who preached the Feingold diet every time we get together. I admit I haven't read much about it, but as of right now, I am NOT buying it. I will continue to eat fruits and feed my children fruits. As for the processed foods.....I don't think anyone can argue that they have health benefits.....we are TRYING to eliminate them and find healthier alternatives. Alternatives often are far cheaper (making them vs. buying pre-made) but that means more TIME for mama in the kitchen. UGH! We do eat wheat and so far I don't think any of us has any wheat intollerances, although we do grind our own and make bread (ok, well, that said, I have just gotten back to it after not doing it for a LONG time and just buying bread.) We are able to buy a 1/4 cow or 1/8 cow that is grass fed for the same price as the stores corn fed, but I haven't done it yet because we aren't big beef eaters, we much prefer chicken and turkey and fish. I still may do it though. I haven't quite decided. I think you have to figure out what works for you and your family and stick with that......for us, I am just trying to move towards buying mostly ingredients, nothing pre-made. I am learning how to make my own sauces and mixes for cost and health. We dont' have nut allergies either though and that does help. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hugs, Sue. We've eliminated a lot of that stuff over the years, but doing it over time by choice is a very different experience than having to do it as a crash course all at once. I know I'd find it very intimidating. The gluten-free and ancestral diet stuff still freaks me right out. The simplified meal tips you got upthread are good ideas, and I'm also a big fan of soup and other one-pot meals if you're having to change your eating habits and regular meal plans. I don't know where in PA you are, but if you check on localharvest.org, you should be able to find local farms and farmer's markets, which would be a good source of unsprayed produce and pastured meats. I hope things settle down for you all soon. You and your son have been in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 Thanks all for the advice and the humor...esp. the humor!:D I needed a good laugh this morning. Really. I went to bed overwhelmed and am still overwhelmed. But, I put a call in to ds dr. to do a gluten intolerance test...realizing full well it might come back neg. when in fact he DOES have some sort of intolerance. But, one step at a time as somebody said. The thought of going gluten-free scares the living h*ll out of me b/c my son is carb-crazy and is already a super-picky eater. Hardly any veges, only a few fruits, mostly cereals, bread and no meat unless it is McDs chicken nuggets. :glare: which he hardly ever gets b/c I loathe McDs! Anyway, the thing that scares me about the gluten thing, if he is intolerant, isn't so much the behavior issues it is the physical stuff...the failure to thrive...b/c of the inability to absorb nutrients. He is a stick already! So skinny and prob underweight. Ugh. Anyway, thanks for all the replies. I love you guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Thanks all for the advice and the humor...esp. the humor!:D I needed a good laugh this morning. Really. I went to bed overwhelmed and am still overwhelmed. But, I put a call in to ds dr. to do a gluten intolerance test...realizing full well it might come back neg. when in fact he DOES have some sort of intolerance. But, one step at a time as somebody said. The thought of going gluten-free scares the living h*ll out of me b/c my son is carb-crazy and is already a super-picky eater. Hardly any veges, only a few fruits, mostly cereals, bread and no meat unless it is McDs chicken nuggets. :glare: which he hardly ever gets b/c I loathe McDs! Anyway, the thing that scares me about the gluten thing, if he is intolerant, isn't so much the behavior issues it is the physical stuff...the failure to thrive...b/c of the inability to absorb nutrients. He is a stick already! So skinny and prob underweight. Ugh. Anyway, thanks for all the replies. I love you guys! A lot of people with gluten issues actually are this way- they crave the things that are bad for them and eat them to the exclusion of other things until it's eliminated. It may really help his weight issues if he does have Celiac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imeverywoman Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 We went through something vaguely similar a few years ago, and at some point in the midst of it all, I realized that I was getting to the point that I was afraid to eat anything. What an awful feeling. You have my sympathetic heart and a :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: Oh Sue, I feel your pain. No advice here other than to pray for guidance and take one day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: One thing that was helpful to me was to join a local CSA. Basically, it's a farm which grows a wide variety of vegetables, berries, herbs, etc. organically. You pay a lump sum at the beginning of the season, in exchange for a share of the harvest each week during the growing season. You share in the farm's ups and downs - if it's a bad year for tomatoes, you get few of them, if it's a bumper crop, you get tons. You eat locally grown, seasonal produce. You know where it comes from, it's minimally processed, and you can chat with the farmer as often as you like. You can freeze a portion of the harvest for use in the winter. Now there are cons - perhaps you don't like tomatoes, for example, and you get a ton of them one week. (Some CSAs have various ways of managing this to help you out - for example, an exchange box.) And of course it's a lot of work to cook from scratch. And you may need to learn how to use veggies you aren't used to - it's a good thing, but can be intense at the beginning. Some CSAs have arrangements with local farmers to provide meat, eggs, tree fruit, cheese, and so on as optional extras. And of course, it doesn't take care of the need for rice or bread or what-have-you to supplement the produce. It's a whole 'nother way of eating, with a lot less reliance on the supermarket and a lot more involvement in your community. Check it out! This web site has a directory, so you can find a CSA near you: http://www.localharvest.org/ (I am NOT saying that your child has diet issues AT ALL. Just sharing a way that worked for us to deal with many food issues in one fell swoop.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Sue, I can only begin to imagine what you are feeling. I just want to say that I can see you are making heroic efforts to help your little guy. He is blessed to have you on his team. May the answers soon come to light! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Sue, I understand. I feel like I need a chemistry degree to decipher what I'm buying at the store!!! After developing some food intolerances and GERD, I've opted to live on coffee. Wishing all the best for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 After developing some food intolerances and GERD, I've opted to live on coffee. Well, *yeah*. It IS the finest organic suspension ever devised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: I feel your pain, too. I have an out-of-control 7 year old, who, if he avoided everything he is allergic to or isn't 'supposed' to have, could only eat oranges. Literally...just oranges. Praying it gets better and you find many safe foods so he eats and thrives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers for finding out what's wrong with him. -crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I imagine the hardest part would be trying to juggle the extra work of cooking/shopping w/ a child who's got these behavioral difficulties. Dh went gfcf a couple of yrs ago, & he's able to feed himself & is cheerful about his situation--I can't tell you how grateful I was that the kids could still eat normal food. Partly because of the expense--if one dc had to go gf, I think it would be easiest if they all did. All that to say, Sue, it can be done, & imo, learning a little at a time is easiest. There are so many people who talk about perfect blends of 10 different flours, & that gets overwhelming. I started out buying one or two things, experimenting, & then expanding a little. Right now, I'm down to just rice flour for dh. We keep almond milk in the fridge & powdered rice milk in the pantry. The recipes we've tried replacing rice flour w/ wheat flour at equal ratios have worked. We probably got lucky, but there ya go. There are a couple of kid-friendly cookbooks that I love: Special Diets for Special Kids 1 & 2. (Shoot! Now they're combined in 1 vol--I wish that opt had been avail when I bought mine!) The thing about these books compared to other ones I've seen is that they're readable, kid-friendly, & seem to come from a perspective of knowing this is hard instead of high-brow weirdness. :tongue_smilie: My library had them, & it was wonderful to work through & see how much normal food was in there. I also realized that Central Market, once you learn how to shop it, isn't always more expensive than Kroger. Since we've moved, it's far, though. :glare: :grouphug: I am so glad for all of your sakes that your ds is being diagnosed & treated. I'm so sorry he needs it, but I hope things get much better from here & very quickly, too. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: I am so sorry, people can be so difficult sometimes with the food religions. It is a terrible feeling when you are dealing with a real illness and someone is "you should feed them 'bone broth' (they mean stock)" and cut out all carbs and eat fermented rutabegas all day! or "cut out all meat and all non-organics!!" or "cut out all processed foods, dyes and fruit!!" It just makes you dizzy. I think doing a gluten tolerance test is a good idea, you might also see about getting a simple allergy test like a RAST or something that might give some ideas, obviously you don't want your child going through prick testing right now. I will keep you in my prayers. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: It is hard. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have. One step at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I will the second the special kids and I think it talks about healing the gut, too. I think it is worth it even I the test is negative. Amazon, Bob's Red Mill, and Azure Standard all have good prices on GF stuff. When we tried GF we used Mixes from Amazon. It just made my life easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 One more thing--there are gf products in places you don't expect them. Rice noodles for spaghetti are w/ the Asian foods, Corn & Rice Chex are gf, & Kroger just came out w/ a nut cracker in the last couple of years--I think they're called Nut Thins. Not all of them are gf, & they're made in a place that processes wheat, so they're not good for the super-sensitive, but they're easy & only about $2/box if you can. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Sue, :grouphug: We had a crazy naturopath tell us that our dd was autistic (NOT!) and that I needed to get her off dairy ASAP. I flipped out, couldn't breathe, shock, fear...OVERWHELMED! Then I talked with my mil who is a homeopath and she calmed me down with these words. "She isn't going to die if she eats dairy tomorrow." That calmed me down right away and gave me the space to think. Take it one step at a time. Cut out one thing at a time. Do what you have to do to keep your sanity. If you decide to cut something out, don't try to replace it. Just run out of it. That philosophy helped us greatly because every time I tried replacing something, dd wouldn't eat it. Wasted money and tons of frustration. :glare: Again, :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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