We're thinking of changing dd's grade level...

[twoplustrips]

I started hsing when dd should have been in preschool, at age 4. However, she was bored with the program, so we moved on to kindergarten for the second semester. The next year, when she should have been a k-er (if she was in ps), she moved on to all 1st grade material. I hadn't planned for her to officially be 1st grade, but she told her Sunday School teacher that she needed to move on because she was a 1st grader, not a k-er. Soooooo, she has officially been a year ahead in school for 2 years now. However, as a spring birthday, this makes her much younger than other 3rd graders this year. My husband and I have talked about changing her grade back to 2nd this year...it has nothing to do with intelligence (she is very smart and 3rd grade is the right grade level for her). However, in extra-curricular activities (church, sports, etc.), we would like her to be with other kids her age, not struggling to keep up with kids who are 1-2 years older than her...

 

My question is, do you think it is smart to place her in grade based on age, even though academically she will be doing curriculum 1-2 grades ahead of that? And any advice on how to explain it to her?

 

Thanks!

Kathy

dd7

ds4

dtriplets1

 

PS My son is starting on the same path. He is only 4 but is doing kindergarten (with some 1st grade reading and phonics) this year. We talked about just keeping him in "kindergarten" again next year...

[Ellie]

My very strong recommendation: When it's necessary to specify a grade level, it should be the one according the child's age and the cut-off date in your state, BUT teach the child according to his academic ability.

 

At this point it's tricky for your dd because you've allowed her to be in a higher grade level at church.

 

Can you leave her where she is at church but otherwise keep her with her age peers?

 

FTR, both of my dds have May birthdays; it would never have ocurred to me to think of them as "young" for their grade-level groups.

[NanceXToo]

I understand. I have a son who I'm going to start in OMK tomorrow. But if he were going to public school, he wouldn't be starting K until NEXT year.

 

I'm only doing it because OMK is more laid back, hands on, slow-paced etc (not overly academic) and I think it would be a good fit for him now.

 

But I don't necessarily want to keep him a year ahead, because I know (from experience with my daughter) that once we get to the higher elementary levels like third and fourth grade, that he'd get more out of the material and probably do better with the writing assignments etc if he has that extra year to mature and 'catch up' some.

 

So I've decided to do OMK with him this year, and then next year start OM1 but to stretch it out over a two year period instead of finishing it in one year.

 

So by the time he starts OM2, he'll be at the grade level he'd have been at if I'd waited that extra year, and he'll be where his peers are.

 

Maybe you could do something similar with third grade for your daughter this year if you'd rather her be with her peers, but not necessarily have her repeat a grade? (And it could work for your son, too). Just an idea!

[mombygrace]

I think it would be fine to keep her at her academic grade at home but official school grade for everything else. We do the same for my 2 youngest 11 and 4 and it has worked well.

[MaMa2005]

We were in a similar situation. Advice I got from The Hive was this: DS is 5 and thus, in kindergarten. He is working on 4th through 7th grade curriculum, but he is still in kindergarten.

 

He takes enrichment classes at three different venues during week.

Venue 1 - in classes with first and second graders - my choice and he is doing fine.

Venue 2 - co-op - in a K-1 class and doing fine. He needs to learn to interact with age appropriate peers and he sees these children at social events as well.

Venue 3 - in a K-2 class and doing fine.

 

I have talked to all his teachers at length. While he is far advanced in the academic area among the children he is in class with, he is still 5 and does not have the emotional maturity to advance any further. He is holding his own, but his teachers have said that he is really working hard to be mature and not act like the baby of the class.

 

When asked by others (not in the homeschool community) what grade he is in, he replies with this answer, "I am 5 years old and homeschooled." If someone wants to know more, he defers to me.

 

It was very hard for him to understand that he is only in kindergarten because all his books say a much higher grade level. He is the one comfortable with the above statement and that is what matters the most.

[Hedgehogs4]

i don't care hoot what "grade" my kids are anymore. i'm just teaching them what they need to know when they're ready.

[eclipse]

My oldest is officially a grade level ahead (he actually skipped 2nd grade when he moved from a brick and mortar charter school to a k-12 virtual school), and he tends to do much better with his grade level peers than his age level peers, so that's where we usually put him. He has a January birthday, though, and the age cut off here is in December, so he's really only 6 weeks or so younger than the youngest kids in his grade. Had there been any flexibility in cut off dates when starting him in public school, I probably would have sent him a year early. People are surprised to find out he's the "baby" of the group, and most assume he's one of the older kids. My youngest, however, while technically a k-er, is very young for grade (if we weren't homeschooling, we would be waiting another year, even though he makes the cutoff date) and I plan to keep him with pre-school groups for extra curricular activities for this year. So, that's my long way of saying "depends on the kid." My question is - is she actually struggling to keep up in the groups she's currently in, or is that just a worry? If she's actually struggling, I'd put her back for future classes (but leave her for the things she's already in unless it's causing real problems). If she's not actually struggling, then she's probably placed correctly already.

[Matryoshka]

My youngest dd has an early winter birthday and is working ahead, enough so that I reported her as 1st when she would've been K. But for all extra-curricular activities, I always report her grade as her age.

 

She was a grade ahead for church K-2, but one year they combined two grades, and the next year she asked to stay at the lower grade when they separated, because that's where the kids she felt the most connected to were (even though she'd been with the other group a couple of years already). That really clinched it for me. So, she now says she's going in to 5th for homeschool but knows she's in 4th for everything else. A bit confusing... I probably should have just reported her as her age way back and let her keep working ahead, but it's kind of hard to go back on now...

[Mosaicmind]

I teach them according to their ability in each subject. This means that they maybe a grade level ahead in one subject but right on track for another. In regards to outside activities and church, it doesn't matter where they are grade wise because most things look at birthdays.

 

I would consider spring birthdays young for kids. My ds with May birthday didn't start k until he was almost six; mainly because the cutoff date was July for our state.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

My very strong recommendation: When it's necessary to specify a grade level, it should be the one according the child's age and the cut-off date in your state, BUT teach the child according to his academic ability.

 

I agree. This is what we do.

[EKS]

I keep my kids at their grade-by-age levels for things like sports and camps but teach them wherever they happen to be.

[bbrandonsmom]

That can be tough. Our ds is one level up at the moment, but we're not part of any groups. Emotionally though, he is at at a 5/6yr old level. I think most group type things I've looked at like sports, or art classes etc, all have an age range-5-7, or 8-10 etc. If we were putting him in K this year, he would be in the middle age group I guess, since he's 5.5. I would keep her around her age grouping for any activities.

[Mama2two]

I agree. This is what we do.

 

I also agree, that is what we plan to do with our 4.5 year old (doing 1st grade work)

[Amber in AUS]

I always enrol my DD and DS in 'extras' based on their age. We school where they are at.

[debbielong]

We also faced similar issues, but what I told our children is this:

 

There are actually two kinds of grades... age "grades" and book "grades." Age Grade is the answer you give people when they ask you what grade you are in (because what folks are interested in is how old you are). Age grade is also what we use to determine placement in sports, Sunday School, and other peer-related activities.

 

Book grade is private. We don't talk about Book Grade with other folks because it isn't necessary or important information to share. Then, I have a gentle conversation about how talking about Book Grade might be perceived as bragging.

 

I finish it off with a selling point about homeschooling (which offers the advantage of keeping Age Grade and Book Grade separate - a primary reason we homeschool:)).

[TheCoffeeChick]

We also faced similar issues, but what I told our children is this:

 

There are actually two kinds of grades... age "grades" and book "grades." Age Grade is the answer you give people when they ask you what grade you are in (because what folks are interested in is how old you are). Age grade is also what we use to determine placement in sports, Sunday School, and other peer-related activities.

 

Book grade is private. We don't talk about Book Grade with other folks because it isn't necessary or important information to share. Then, I have a gentle conversation about how talking about Book Grade might be perceived as bragging.

 

I finish it off with a selling point about homeschooling (which offers the advantage of keeping Age Grade and Book Grade separate - a primary reason we homeschool:)).

 

:iagree: This is a great way to explain it!

[Hedgehog]

I think I've finally come to the point where I am happy to teach my kids according to their ability/aptitude, rather than what grade they'd be in at school. After all, isn't this just another freedom we homeschoolers have?!

[MelanieM]

I tell my kids that grades are mostly about how to group age ranges in a public school and in a homeshcool, it's different and so you can be doing many grades or levels of work at one time. Then I let them know what grade they would be according to their public schooled peers. So my daughter will say she's going into grade 3, but we don't really make that super relevant in terms of our education.

[Ester Maria]

I refuse to officially accelerate my children for this reason precisely - academic and emotional intelligence often don't go together at the same level. While academics are something that you can speed up or loose up on, emotionally, children are a lot more similar and the process of maturing is something that's not a good idea to artificially speed up by placing the child with older children in a lot of activities. If there are activities which group children based on age, children should go with their "age grade" unless there is a very, very strong reason against it (say in sports if you have a child that's obviously taller and better than his peers, and if placing him with kids that are a year older wouldn't matter that much; or academic activities where differences in intellectual maturity would matter a lot, etc.), and even then, if putting them into a higher level, we should take care about how much higher. Also keep in mind that kids develop quite rapidly - putting a 7 y.o. with 8-9 y.o. kid in many cases makes much more of a difference than putting a 15 y.o. with 16-17 y.o. kids.

 

For official purposes, I have my kids grouped with their age levels, and they take official exams on that level too, even though we all know that that's not what we're actually doing at home. Very few homeschoolers are working on a unique grade level anyway, most are mixing grade levels in various subjects, and it's often the best, for the purposes of bureaucracy and grouping in outside activities, to just go with your child's chronological age rather than something as vague as grade.

[Karenciavo]

We stick with age level when we need to pick a grade.

[twoplustrips]

We also faced similar issues, but what I told our children is this:

 

There are actually two kinds of grades... age "grades" and book "grades." Age Grade is the answer you give people when they ask you what grade you are in (because what folks are interested in is how old you are). Age grade is also what we use to determine placement in sports, Sunday School, and other peer-related activities.

 

Book grade is private. We don't talk about Book Grade with other folks because it isn't necessary or important information to share. Then, I have a gentle conversation about how talking about Book Grade might be perceived as bragging.

 

I finish it off with a selling point about homeschooling (which offers the advantage of keeping Age Grade and Book Grade separate - a primary reason we homeschool:)).

 

This is very helpful! Thank you!

 

I think it will also help that I have started teaching her where she is instead of going straight grade level. So, we are doing mostly 3rd grade this year, but spelling we are at 5th grade, grammar and vocabulary at 4th grade. So, I will emphasize that "grade level" doesn't limit us in homeschooling...

 

Now, I just need to decide if we want to make the change in Sunday School NOW (3 weeks into school) or wait until next year... They split the group as 1st & 2nd, then 3rd & 4th. Do we pull her back, or let her stay in the 3rd & 4th class for 3 years?? Uugh, hard decisions...

 

Thanks for all the advice everyone!

 

Kathy

dd7

ds4

dtriplets1

[Tess in the Burbs]

Activity wise we keep them in the school age level they would be if they went to school. It keeps them with kids of the same age/maturity and their friends aren't too young or too old you know? Academically they are working ahead but we don't advertise that fact. Yes, my kids can read. Sorry the others can't, lol. We haven't ever needed to move a kid up for activities.....my son just did awesome in Awana :) He could read and memorize on his own. So that was an advantage but he wouldn't have been accepted in the older kid part. Keep them with their age peers for activities.

[Dmmetler]

Except for church, just put her where she belongs. My DD is officially in 1st according to the cover school, since her parochial school moved her to K early last year, is doing 2nd and 3rd grade material pretty much across the board at home, but is in the Kindergarten group for extracurriculars and for co-op, and is as happy as a clam. As long as a class isn't academic (and one reason for leaving her in K in Co-op is because the K'ers do the cooking, crafts, hands on, fun stuff), she's just as well off with her age group.

 

We've also found, several times, that age cutoffs correspond to grades. For example, there's a nice class at a local art museum, but the kids have to be 6 to go on the tour. It's listed as 1st grade, but if you read deeper, they do not allow children under age 6 to participate. 3rd grade and 6th grade seem to be similarly treated.

[chai]

We have gone through a very similar situation with dd. Initially, I moved her up in SS, because being with non-reading peers, when she was reading, made a huge difference. By 7-8 years old, though, we moved her back with her age peers and, at age 11, she is still with them. I want her to have a childhood as long as possible and so many kids now are growing up too quickly.

 

I've also found that I can "accelerate" dd's grade a bit if I need to get into certain classes or programs. Last year, to get into certain classes, I called her a 6th grader, but she's repeating 6th grade this year!

[DarlaS]

This is very helpful! Thank you!

 

I think it will also help that I have started teaching her where she is instead of going straight grade level. So, we are doing mostly 3rd grade this year, but spelling we are at 5th grade, grammar and vocabulary at 4th grade. So, I will emphasize that "grade level" doesn't limit us in homeschooling...

 

Now, I just need to decide if we want to make the change in Sunday School NOW (3 weeks into school) or wait until next year... They split the group as 1st & 2nd, then 3rd & 4th. Do we pull her back, or let her stay in the 3rd & 4th class for 3 years?? Uugh, hard decisions...

 

Thanks for all the advice everyone!

 

Kathy

dd7

ds4

dtriplets1

 

That would depend. If most of the kids in the group are at least 2 years older than her, I might be tempted to pull her back now. It was a mistake to let her tell her Sunday school teacher (She was 5?) that she needed to move up in the first place. That should have been your decision and it kind of sounded like they just moved her up at her request--and that was not in your plans for her at all.

 

Do they more or less repeat the Sunday school program year after year? If she goes with the 2nd graders now, is she going to be doing the same thing she was last year? That would be the only compelling reason (in my mind) for keeping her with the 3/4 grade group. At some point though, being with kids 2-4 years older will very likely cause some uncomfortable situations (Yes, even in Sunday school).

[Amy loves Bud]

My older children have August birthdays, with our cut off for grades in the local schools being September 1, so I understand about not wanting them to be the youngest in the crowd. We ended up keeping our oldest back for social reasons and he was fine with it- relieved even. He went to PS this year, and stayed in 6th grade when he could technically go to 7th. The schoolwork is pretty easy for him - even the PreAP part of it, but socially it is absolutely the right place and we are all very happy about it.

 

But, his sister is very disturbed by the thought of it. It would hurt her a lot to keep her back at this point, so we're not, even though I'd really prefer her to be the oldest in her class as opposed to the youngest. It puts her in youth group at church a year sooner than I would like, for example.

 

Soooo, my recommendations are that if you are going to hold her back, do it NOW. Don't wait another second. But continue to work at her level for school - just don't name it an advanced grade.

 

And, second, hold your younger one back to his age appropriate classes in church and the like from the beginning. Keep working at his pace as well, and avoid naming his grade as much as you can. When you must name it, go with his age-appropriate grade, not his academic ability.

 

It's much easier on the child to get bumped up later than to be held back.

 

Good luck!

[PeterPan]

Spring bd dd too, so I know what you mean. I would only pull the grade ahead thing if it is necessary/useful. Otherwise she just says her age grade. When people ask grade, they are asking a social question, not what level of math she's in. The real question is whether you want her planning to leave a year early. I figure we can sort that out at the end and don't have to predetermine it now. If I enrolled her in a school, yes she'd be a grade ahead. But for something like summer camp it worked out just as well to keep her with her agemates. My dd is tall for her age, so she could have blended in just as well with the older kids. We didn't and it worked out. I'd call her by her age grade and use the school grade thing only when it's useful for a particular situation (getting into a class, whatever).

 

I don't make a big deal of grade levels. I tell my dd books have numbers. We work with books with lots of different numbers.

Edited September 6, 2010 by OhElizabeth

[FriedClams]

I would call them the same grade that they would be at the local PS.

 

Here's why:

 

Basically in grades K-2 the diving line is reading. If your kid can read well, they suddenly jump grades really quickly. My 4 year old read like a 2nd grader/3rd grader so it was easy to say he was "advanced" and needed to move up a grade. The delineations between grades are really clear at that point - Book A is an easy reader, Book B is a chapter book with small print. It's so easy to think that the progress they have made will continue to be linear. It likely won't be.

 

At kids move into grades 2-4 the diving lines and requirements of what makes "grade level work" get much harder. Can they write? Can they handle more writing - and not just doing lots of work orally? Can they do math well - multiplication, division, etc. Or, were they just early readers who really could use the extra time to solidify math, handwriting, narration, etc. I expect a great deal more from a 3rd grader than a 2nd grader, and I would hate for a kid to feel "behind" or inadequate because I assumed that an early reader meant they would master multiplication early too. That's a big assumption.

 

Also, kids who really need to jump grades will do so at every level and there is plenty of time to move them up later. I also work to where the kids are - but call them the grade that's their age.

 

I would also not "advance" a 4 year old because it's easy for them to get proud and braggy about their "grade" with their friends and others. It gives the impression that homeschoolers are a proud bunch when a four year old announces they are "in 1st grade". Of course we are, but I've seen it interpreted badly by others and used as a reason to really critique an education.

 

As my kids get older, I see a HUGE difference between academic ability and other facets of their lives - like social ability, physical readiness or spiritual preparedness. Just because my kids can read well or do math - do I really want them with an older group socially? Do I want their inner circle to be that much older? Are they ready to be discussing what the older kids are discussing in Sunday School - or are they just not ready? Are they physically ready to be competing with older kids in sports? Likely they are not and it's a recipe for failure and defeat.

 

 

So, I am not a big fan of moving young kids ahead in what "grade" we call them. Give them room to grow. Don't put pressure on them. Teach to what they need. Keep them humble. Let them be kids.

[KinderSafari]

Love the age grade/book grade description someone used earlier! :)

 

For us, almost all community sports have birthdate cutoffs.

For academic extras we only speak up if necessary - if there is a HUGE difference and it would be relevant.

 

For our homeschool group we tell the kids the groups are by AGE - UNLESS a parent approves to move a child up or down to a different group. We don't want kids moving around at whim because they don't want to do an activity or want to be with a friend. But we understand sometimes a child is really ahead or fits better with a different age group, etc. - that's a parent call.

[meet me in paris]

We did this two years ago with my younger daughter, who has a late Sept. birthday. She started public school K at 4... we decided 2 years later that she was better off being with kids of her own age or younger than always being the youngest in the class (that was my experience growing up, and I absolutely hated it).

 

I simply explained to her that we wanted to put her in the "grade" that was closer to her age... she wasn't being punished, she hadn't done anything wrong, etc. She cried for a minute, then asked if we could go to Friday's for lunch and that was the end of it. :) It's never come up again.

[Angel]

My very strong recommendation: When it's necessary to specify a grade level, it should be the one according the child's age and the cut-off date in your state, BUT teach the child according to his academic ability.

 

At this point it's tricky for your dd because you've allowed her to be in a higher grade level at church.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

And what we did when we ran into this situation with our younger dd, we kept her in her current Sunday School class a year longer. So she moved up when we thought she was going to be 1st grade, and instead of moving her back when we changed our minds, we left her there for an extra year, allowing the age group to catch up. So she spent three years in one S.S. class instead of two. By that time, she kind of forgot all about it. If they haven't moved her up yet, then keep her where she is.

[Marla]

Now, I just need to decide if we want to make the change in Sunday School NOW (3 weeks into school) or wait until next year... They split the group as 1st & 2nd, then 3rd & 4th. Do we pull her back, or let her stay in the 3rd & 4th class for 3 years?? Uugh, hard decisions...

 

If you want her to stay with agemates in Sunday School and other activities, I'd switch her NOW as it'll only get harder the older she gets because she'll want to move ahead with her Sunday School class. If you keep her on the same track she is on now (1-2 years younger than other kids in SS), fast forward to her middle school years. In Junior High youth group, kids will be 12-13 and she'll be much younger. My dd repeated K class in Sunday school because I wanted her to stay with her age mates rather than being the youngest. It was hard at the time because she wanted to move up with the 1st graders, but in retrospect it was the right decision. Now that she is in 6th grade some of her friends are moving into the youth group (7th-8th graders) and because of my dd's maturity level, I'm really glad that she's not moving into the group just yet as she is still "young" and IMHO, there is no need to have them grow up faster than they need to. You can always bump her up a grade in SS if you find that she matures early. Hope this helps!

[JenC3]

My dd's PS friends are a year behind her since the PS cut off would have had her in 1st grade this year. Some of her HS friends with similar b-days are in 2nd grade which is the majority of our work and what I base things on-2nd grade so that's what we say. But like other posters mentioned there are gray areas of advancement, she has 3rd grade spelling and 5th grade reading, etc.

[Storm Bay]

I don't use my dc's academic grade level for extracurricular activities. I did switch my eldest's down for high school sports, though, and because she won't be ready for college early.

 

The only time it's important to list your dd's actual level as a grade is if you plan to graduate them early.

[Mommamia]

i don't care hoot what "grade" my kids are anymore. i'm just teaching them what they need to know when they're ready.

:iagree:

[Sahamamama]

My K'er (5.5 years old) is this year doing 1st grade level work or beyond. In reading, she is far beyond K level. But we still call her grade "Kindergarten."

 

Next year (January 2011) she will be just 6 years old and will begin "First Grade." We are considered odd enough when we explain to outsiders that we homeschool AND that our year begins in January. I can't imagine ALSO trying to explain, "Well, yes, she's 5 years old, but she's reading at a 5th grade level, spelling at a 2nd, writing at a 1st, and all the rest is K." :001_huh: Most people who don't homeschool just wouldn't understand.

 

So, we do what we do at home (work on her level), tell our daughter her grade level based on her age (which is still a bit "off" from the public school, because of the January start-date), and tell everyone else that she is in Kindergarten, next year First. She is with her age-group for all outside activities, but this has never been a problem up to this point. She hasn't been bored, but she does tend to show off her skills and/or dominate the group. ;) We are working on toning that down a bit. HTH.

[Penelope]

I would call them the same grade that they would be at the local PS.

 

Here's why:

 

Basically in grades K-2 the diving line is reading. If your kid can read well, they suddenly jump grades really quickly. My 4 year old read like a 2nd grader/3rd grader so it was easy to say he was "advanced" and needed to move up a grade. The delineations between grades are really clear at that point - Book A is an easy reader, Book B is a chapter book with small print. It's so easy to think that the progress they have made will continue to be linear. It likely won't be.

 

At kids move into grades 2-4 the diving lines and requirements of what makes "grade level work" get much harder. Can they write? Can they handle more writing - and not just doing lots of work orally? Can they do math well - multiplication, division, etc. Or, were they just early readers who really could use the extra time to solidify math, handwriting, narration, etc. I expect a great deal more from a 3rd grader than a 2nd grader, and I would hate for a kid to feel "behind" or inadequate because I assumed that an early reader meant they would master multiplication early too. That's a big assumption.

 

Also, kids who really need to jump grades will do so at every level and there is plenty of time to move them up later. I also work to where the kids are - but call them the grade that's their age.

 

I would also not "advance" a 4 year old because it's easy for them to get proud and braggy about their "grade" with their friends and others. It gives the impression that homeschoolers are a proud bunch when a four year old announces they are "in 1st grade". Of course we are, but I've seen it interpreted badly by others and used as a reason to really critique an education.

 

As my kids get older, I see a HUGE difference between academic ability and other facets of their lives - like social ability, physical readiness or spiritual preparedness. Just because my kids can read well or do math - do I really want them with an older group socially? Do I want their inner circle to be that much older? Are they ready to be discussing what the older kids are discussing in Sunday School - or are they just not ready? Are they physically ready to be competing with older kids in sports? Likely they are not and it's a recipe for failure and defeat.

 

 

So, I am not a big fan of moving young kids ahead in what "grade" we call them. Give them room to grow. Don't put pressure on them. Teach to what they need. Keep them humble. Let them be kids.

 

:hurray::thumbup:

 

And I would add, just because they can read and do first grade math when they are 5, doesn't equal "first grade" to me. It depends on what type of school you are comparing to your homeschool. There are plenty of children in the local private schools that can read well in K and are doing at least 1/2 year ahead in math. And there will be a couple of those in the average public school, too. And they are still in kindergarten. Fortunately in hs we can better teach to their level, but that doesn't mean they will be advanced all the way through.

[Mandy in TN]

I'm another that has explained to my son that when people ask your grade they really just want to know your age. IOW- again- the grade level on the curriculum isn't the real question unless you are talking to a group of hs moms specifically about curriculum.

 

Age is the question. For sports or cub scouts or even homeschool get-togethers, I would rather my child be with his age level peers. For sports he just would be very small and less likely to play. Boy scouts has and age as well as a grade requirement. Even at homeschool functions I don't want him moving into high school gatherings being emotional unready to handle the things that go on socially.

 

All the way around it makes more sense to have a mature, accelerated student in grade A instead of an immature, average student in grade B.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[twoplustrips]

Thanks everyone for your help! We had "the talk" tonight. I told her that when people want to know her grade, they really are asking how old she is. I also explained that we do all different levels for her school, but her age was second grade, and we wanted her to be with other kids her age. She was totally fine with it. Her only request was that she stay in her Sunday School class. So, she will do the 3rd & 4th grade class for 3 years. She is really enjoying the academic side of the class, and I am fine with leaving her there. We will simply talk to her teacher about re-listing her as 3rd grade again next year. And her brother will stay in the Kindergarten Sunday School class for 2 years, too. Problem solved. Aah, feels nice!

 

So, thanks for your help everyone! I'm so glad I had you all to ask advice from :)

 

Kathy

dd7

ds4

dtriplets1

[AudreyTN]

We also faced similar issues, but what I told our children is this:

 

There are actually two kinds of grades... age "grades" and book "grades." Age Grade is the answer you give people when they ask you what grade you are in (because what folks are interested in is how old you are). Age grade is also what we use to determine placement in sports, Sunday School, and other peer-related activities.

 

Book grade is private. We don't talk about Book Grade with other folks because it isn't necessary or important information to share. Then, I have a gentle conversation about how talking about Book Grade might be perceived as bragging.

 

I finish it off with a selling point about homeschooling (which offers the advantage of keeping Age Grade and Book Grade separate - a primary reason we homeschool:)).

 

I love it! :)

[angela in ohio]

My very strong recommendation: When it's necessary to specify a grade level, it should be the one according the child's age and the cut-off date in your state, BUT teach the child according to his academic ability.

 

Yep.

 

In public school, there are students of all ability levels in each grade. It is extrememly rare for those students to be advanced a grade, they are just grouped by their ability and taught accordingly. Many homeschoolers call their dc by higher grade levels, but unless you have a compelling reason to do so and fully intend to graduate them early, there is no reason for it.

[Whereneverever]

We also faced similar issues, but what I told our children is this:

 

There are actually two kinds of grades... age "grades" and book "grades." Age Grade is the answer you give people when they ask you what grade you are in (because what folks are interested in is how old you are). Age grade is also what we use to determine placement in sports, Sunday School, and other peer-related activities.

 

Book grade is private. We don't talk about Book Grade with other folks because it isn't necessary or important information to share. Then, I have a gentle conversation about how talking about Book Grade might be perceived as bragging.

 

I finish it off with a selling point about homeschooling (which offers the advantage of keeping Age Grade and Book Grade separate - a primary reason we homeschool:)).

:iagree:Love it.