Could we discuss snoring?

[Doran]

I'll start by saying that I'm a very light sleeper, and therein lies the biggest problem. Some days of the month (think cycle), I sleep quite well, but fully 1/3 of the days, or more, I sleep poorly. Add to this the fact that my darling dh most prefers to sleep on his back, which makes him snore. So, over the years, I've learned to just nudge him gently, or otherwise disrupt his sleep (LOL!), so that he'll roll over onto his side. Occasionally (if I'm having a particularly restless night, for example), I feel guilty about poking him so often. So, I try covering my head with another pillow to drown out the noise. Or, I just get up and move to the couch. It's not the best, but it works okay.

 

Unfortunately, when dh has a cold, as he does now, he snores no matter which position he's in. Thus, at 5:30 this morning, I was tossing and turning, trying to get back to sleep (we didn't turn in until nearly midnight last night). Nothing helped. We have a friend staying over (a young boy who slept on the foldout couch last night), so there were few options for me to retreat to.

 

The whole situation, especially days like today, represents a big source of frustration for me, but I can't figure my way toward any solutions. I've tried earplugs, but the construction of my ear seems to make those very uncomfortable for me.

 

I've never tried melatonin. Do you think that could be my solution, and is it safe to take often? Ugh. I could really use more sleep most nights.

 

So, what ideas have you to share? I'm listening....a little too much apparently. :bigear:

[Plaid Dad]

My dw swears by earplugs. Maybe that would help? On behalf of all snoring DHs, I'm sorry!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Snoring? Hate it! Dh gets going sometimes and drives me batty. I have pinched the poor man's nose together in a fit of desperation!

 

I have no answers to help, just commiseration. He willing goes elsewhere if I need. He knows I have to deal with the kids the next day and wants them alive when he gets home;).

 

So sorry! Come to my place. I'll make you a nice bed in a room by yourself and you may sleep to your heart's content!

[readwithem]

We sleep with a sound machine - I've found my dh snores when things are troubling him at work.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Speed-Sleepmate-Screen-Machine/dp/B000MZZPQM/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1208002484&sr=8-1

 

As for earplugs, I use Flents Quiet Please, you squish them and then put them in your ear and they expand to fill your ear opening.

 

you have my sympathy!! I don't do good on broken or short sleep.

[Plaid Dad]

As for earplugs, I use Flents Quiet Please

 

These are the same kind my dw uses. She tried several brands, but these work best for her. I use them, too, because our cats get rowdy at night. ;)

[Jenstet]

I have been married for 10 years and my hubby is a horrible snorer. He actually went to have a sleep study to see if he had apnea and needed one of those masks. We have tried most everything but here is our solution. He sleeps in his own room. I know not very conventional but it works for us.

[Doran]

I'm willing to try another brand. The ones I tried before were squishable foam, but maybe there are other more flexible types available. Are the Flents brand available any ol' place?

 

BTW, we already sleep with a small fan on in our room all the time. Not something I ever thought I'd have to use (I have long loved the quiet, natural sounds of both morning and night), but it doesn't even really help when the man next to you is raising the roof.

 

Plaid Dad...thanks for your "blanket apology" (pun not intended). Too cute! ;)

[Brigitte]

When I am having a particularly restless night, I resort to Tylenol PM. It doesn't help with the snoring, but it makes me so sleepy, I can finally fall asleep despite the noise.

[Holly in FL]

I've never tried melatonin. Do you think that could be my solution, and is it safe to take often? Ugh. I could really use more sleep most nights.

 

My DH is a very light sleeper. He did a bunch of research on melatonin and takes only 1/2mg if he thinks he will need it. He actually started by taking just 1/4 of a pill. The brand he chose is called Source Naturals, 1mg pills. He uses a pill cutter to cut them in half. He says he may still wake up from a noise, but the meds make you more relaxed and it's easier to fall back asleep.

 

Please Google it and do read up on it...that's what he suggests. Your body can become accustomed to it which would cause you to take more than is good for you. I think there are a few side effects if you take too much too often.

 

HTH!

~Holly

[Kelli in TN]

. Your body can become accustomed to it which would cause you to take more than is good for you. I think there are a few side effects if you take too much too often.

 

 

 

I did not research it, but I did find through trial and error that this can be true. I take melatonin but not every night, not even every week. I take it when I feel like I am going to have trouble settling down because of stress or cycle or whatever. I also went through the vivid dreams that some have mentioned in past threads, though I know longer have a problem with that.

[Punkinelly]

Have you talked to your dh about maybe *trying* to learn to sleep on his side so you can sleep, too? We do those things for each other since we love each other, right? So maybe he'll try if you ask him? Or maybe you have. You need your sleep, honey girl!

 

I mention this because my dh has to sleep on his right side or he snores, so he has learned to sleep on his right side. It has helped tremendously. It helped that I was so grouchy from being tired that I told him that if he did not do something, I would not be any fun to live with anymore! LOL

 

He really is a dear, though, so we help each other with those things.

I have also learned to sleep with a little noise--not too much, though. :)

 

HTH

[JFSinIL]

http://earplugstore.stores.yahoo.net/superhearos.html

 

My hubby snores - and in summer, when the windows are open and the neighbors have their frequent LOUD late-night conversations on their front porch- these little babies work GREAT! Thanks for reminding me to order more of them! :bigear:

[Antonia]

Are you trying to fix *him* or *yourself*? :) A couple of the things that have helped my dh snore less were nose strips and snore relief throat spray both by Breathe Right. He did go to a sleep clinic, and found he had apnea. He has a mask, but doesn't wear it often. Frankly, I don't know which bothers me more - the whooshing sound the mask makes or the snoring!

[KidsHappen]

Snoring is often a symptom of sleep apnea which can be deadly. It basically means that they stop breathing frenquently during the night and are therefore not getting enough oxygen. A CPAP is a machine that gently force air continuosly through the airway so that it can not close during the night. My dh has not snored since getting one. They are usually covered by medical insurance. He said it took a little while to get used to but now he can not sleep without it. Your regulat dr can refer your to a sleep center who can handle this.:sleep:

[Ellie]

if your insurance will cover it, you should encourage your dh to have a sleep study.

 

Melatonin has zero effect on me. So does over-the-counter sleep meds. Bummer.

[Phred]

I'm an awful snorer at times. My wife tells me that a Breathe-right strip along with a little Vicks vapor rub on my upper lip stops my snoring.

[Doran]

Are you trying to fix *him* or *yourself*? :) A couple of the things that have helped my dh snore less were nose strips and snore relief throat spray both by Breathe Right. He did go to a sleep clinic, and found he had apnea. He has a mask, but doesn't wear it often. Frankly, I don't know which bothers me more - the whooshing sound the mask makes or the snoring!

 

 

Fixing him or me...well, I guess I'm willing to come at it from both angles. Here's the thing -- I can sleep through the snoring sometimes. And, he doesn't snore all the time. So, that combination seems to merit a little input from both sides, don't you think? Dh is one who *needs* his sleep. In fact, he is still asleep right now, at 10:00 am. His father is the same way, as is his sister. That family can sleep more than just about any family I've ever known! Me? I can get along with less. Always have been able to do that. So, I try to just work with that, kwim?

 

I'm not sure whether our insurance would cover the testing for apnea or not. We just changed over to BCBS(CareFirst) which I know from some of you isn't much to write home about. But, "wellness" visits are covered w/ a co-pay, which is more than I can say for our previous provider. Worth looking into, I guess.

 

Dh has a severely deviated septum -- resultant from a high school football injury (or maybe injuries). We know from looking, and from how he describes his nasal breathing, that he basically only has half of a functioning nose (Ha!). I've said for years that he should get his nose reset, but time and money have always prevented us from actually doing anything. In fact, we've often joked about him going under the knife for a simultaneous nose-job and the Big V...but that's another topic altogether! :D

[*anj*]

Another vote for the sleep study.

It's fine for you to find a way to sleep more deeply, but that won't help your husband with a potentially tragic situation.

My snoring had gotten so bad that dh was sleeping down on the couch more often than not.

I finally went for a sleep study and found out that I do indeed have apnea. I've had my cpap for about 2 months now, and we are both sleeping a lot better. I am still not 100% used to the mask. It takes me a few minutes to get comfortable before I fall asleep. And as a woman, I wish I wasn't laying there like Darth Vader every night, you know? But it's worth it. It's a joke with us now. We've been married long enough that he really doesn't care what I look like as long as he's getting a good night's sleep! :)

 

The machine makes a soft whirring sound which is probably not different from the fan you've been sleeping with already.

 

Please do encourage him to have a sleep study done. It could save his life and will certainly allow you both to get the rest you need.

[Parabola]

My dh is pretty loud too. Its a wonder he can sleep himself with all that ruckus. And I have insomnia problems fairly frequently...so what a mix we are.

Especially since he falls asleep sometimes before he's all the way inclined ;) wherease I have to move around to at least 12 different positions (while still not violating the 1st law of stomach dynamics which is: the time prior to the advent of sleep must be spent in a prone position, at no point while in this prone position will sleep be allowed to come. Its tricky), re-think every thought I had during the day, analyse every possible outcome of all current situations, review all information I studied that day to aid retention, do my best to keep from bashing myself for any showing anything less than perfect parenting (very hard), and just generally reminding my almost ADD brain of certain obvious things. Its like a marathon some nights.

He's tried the breathe right, no luck.

There's no way I'm using earplugs, I've got to hear the house and kids at night. I sleep good when I sleep, but its light and I wake up if anything out of the ordinary goes on. And I like that.

Sometimes I resort to Tylenol Pm too, but I hate doing that.

All I can generally do once he gets going are all the old nudge em poke em tricks. Sometimes I do it repeatedly until finally he quiets long enough that I can fall asleep. Once I'm asleep, he can snore all he wants, he rarely wakes me up.

Its just the getting to sleep while he's snoring thats hard, but then getting to sleep in general is hard.

The sleep apnea, though, this may be true for him, that bothers me. I'm going to have to think about that one. Tonight when I should be falling asleep.

[Mama Lynx]

I so could have written your post.

 

For years, I've begged him to go for a sleep study. I think that, since he doesn't hear himself snoring, he doesn't really *realize* that there's a problem. He knows I complain, but it's not *really* a problem for *him*, you know?

 

I swear, though, that if anything on earth could break up our very solid marriage, it could be the snoring ;-) Seriously. He is a wonderful, thoughtful, caring husband who listens to me and takes excellent care of me ... which is why *this* issue makes me angry. On *this* subject, he won't listen. If I"ve BEGGED him to get help ... he SHOULD.

 

I use earplugs when it's bad. I fully intend to have my own room, when circumstances permit. If he will be stubborn enough to refuse a sleep study, then I will have my own, quiet room to sleep in.

 

FYI, the earplugs I like best are the little silicon balls that you mold to the outside of your ears.

[camibami]

MY Dh snores terribly, and I am sure he has sleep apnea- his father does and wears a machine. However, getting him treated for it is NOT in the cards, since we know a guy who was medically retired from the Army for sleep apnea! This guy was a pilot, so that may have had something to do with it, but...DH isn't willing to risk it by going to the Dr about his snoring.

 

To tell you the truth, most nights we sleep in seperate rooms. That way we get enough sleep- DH was waking with bruises (and he doesn't bruise easily!) fro mme kicking him in desperation to make him stop snoring! I know sleeping apart in marraige has bad connotations, but for us, it works great. I crawl in to my youngests bed, because she is always in her big sisters bed with her.

 

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, I say. Only 7 more years until retirement!

[Michelle T]

My dw swears by earplugs. Maybe that would help? On behalf of all snoring DHs, I'm sorry!

 

 

My DH very rarely snores, but apparently I do quite frequently. It drives him insane. He usually handles it by jiggling the bed like crazy until I wake up just enough to stop snoring, but not enough to realize that he woke me up. Needless to say, I'm pretty tired in the mornings!

 

We also have a fancy-pants sound machine from Brookstone, and DH also insists on running an air purifier in our bedroom every night, which also makes a lot of noise.

Michelle T

[*anj*]

I have to say something.

If you snore...a lot...if your spouse snores...a lot...

You have to do something about this.

It isn't just an inconvenience that keeps you both awake at night.

It is a real medical condition. It can result in death.

If you have sleep apnea you literally stop breathing when you snore. You can stop breathing for several seconds and then adrenaline kicks in and you start breathing again, which is the snorting thing that you do.

At some point one of two things can happen:

--you can just not start breathing again, which means you die

--your heart can become weakened by continually receiving bursts of adrenaline all through the night.

 

Before I went for my sleep study I thought that I just had an above average snoring problem. But I found out through the study that I had several episodes per hour. I wasn't entering into sufficient rem sleep and I was doing damage to my heart.

 

I don't want to just sound alarmist, or to be over reacting, but honey your husband may not get to retire if he doesn't do something about this. It's that real.

 

I hope that I'm conveying loving concern and not judgment. I really am totally sincere here, and I can say this to you because I have lived it. I was in denial for a long time, but now I really do feel better (and so does my husband!):001_smile:

[Storm Bay]

I have been married for 10 years and my hubby is a horrible snorer. He actually went to have a sleep study to see if he had apnea and needed one of those masks. We have tried most everything but here is our solution. He sleeps in his own room. I know not very conventional but it works for us.

 

Actually, my mother told me that most of their happily married friends now do this, mostly because of snoring. In our old church I knew a woman who had to start this at a fairly young age because her dh was such a loud snorer. When I was in university I lived off campus. One year I rented a basement suite and once in a while my landlord snored so loudly I could hear him all the way in the basement. My dad had a friend who snored so loudly on their hunting trips my dad would end up sleeping in the back of the vehicle they drove up in wearing ear plugs. I don't know if my dad snores or not, but my parents are still sleeping in the same bed last I knew (not that I ask!)

[Surfside Academy]

My husband is a big guy...big barrel chest, broad shoulders and honestly a bit of a gut. He had a serious snoring problem and it was driving me insane! Men didn't even want to share a room with him if he went to a men's retreat. I'm also a light sleeper so I went to bed first, put the earplugs in and hoped I'd go to sleep before he came in.

 

My husband finally made a serious commitment to get in shape so he's been working out pretty regularly for the past 2 years. He really focused on strengthening his core abdominal muscles and I swear...the snoring has gone away! :party: He hasn't actually lost that much weight (about 15 lbs) and he's still a big guy but honestly, the snoring has stopped. It's a Christmas miracle!!!

[kortney in AL]

Has your husband ever tried the Breathe Right strips? That sometimes can help with snoring.

[Lady Katherine]

Ear plugs. Get the good ones. Put them in your monthly budget. The best I've found are the purple ones from Flent, rated at (I think) 32 decibels. (And yes, I have tried them ALL.) Dh and I both have to use them, and even so, occasionally I end up out in the living room on the La-Z-Boy.

[Barb_]

Hey Doran, I feel your pain. Dh lost 25 pounds recently and that has helped considerably to reduce his snoring, but he still snorts and rumbles at times. Now that I'm pregnant and not sleeping well anyway, he's taken to sleeping in the guestroom during the week, and I put up with sleep deprivation on the weekends. Here's a link: http://www.helpguide.org/life/snoring.htm Honestly don't know if you'll find anything helpful but there were a couple of things on there I didn't know.

 

I don't think melatonin is going to be your saving grace. Melatonin will help you to fall asleep, but not really to stay asleep. If you do wake in the night, melatonin can make it tougher to fall back to sleep. You might try some white noise to drown him out. I have an air purifier that helps me sleep when I remember to turn it on. I also throw an extra down pillow over my head which helps with the noise, but alas, not the vibration.

 

Barb

[Barb_]

Yeah, Anj is totally right. The louder the snoring, the greater the struggle to breathe and the harder it is on the heart.

 

Barb

 

I have to say something.

If you snore...a lot...if your spouse snores...a lot...

You have to do something about this.

It isn't just an inconvenience that keeps you both awake at night.

It is a real medical condition. It can result in death.

If you have sleep apnea you literally stop breathing when you snore. You can stop breathing for several seconds and then adrenaline kicks in and you start breathing again, which is the snorting thing that you do.

At some point one of two things can happen:

--you can just not start breathing again, which means you die

--your heart can become weakened by continually receiving bursts of adrenaline all through the night.

 

Before I went for my sleep study I thought that I just had an above average snoring problem. But I found out through the study that I had several episodes per hour. I wasn't entering into sufficient rem sleep and I was doing damage to my heart.

 

I don't want to just sound alarmist, or to be over reacting, but honey your husband may not get to retire if he doesn't do something about this. It's that real.

 

I hope that I'm conveying loving concern and not judgment. I really am totally sincere here, and I can say this to you because I have lived it. I was in denial for a long time, but now I really do feel better (and so does my husband!):001_smile:

[Chris in CA]

I do too! my dh snores sometimes, well maybe more than sometimes : )

[Liz CA]

I have been married for 10 years and my hubby is a horrible snorer. He actually went to have a sleep study to see if he had apnea and needed one of those masks. We have tried most everything but here is our solution. He sleeps in his own room. I know not very conventional but it works for us.

 

If you are anywhere near the dreaded hormonal swing, it could help to supplement with natural progesterone. I had developed a pattern of falling asleep and waking constantly all night (not related to anyone snoring) and taking prog has helped.

 

For the dh's snoring problem, I have to defer to other poster's advice.

[Doran]

If you are anywhere near the dreaded hormonal swing, it could help to supplement with natural progesterone. I had developed a pattern of falling asleep and waking constantly all night (not related to anyone snoring) and taking prog has helped.

 

For the dh's snoring problem, I have to defer to other poster's advice.

 

 

This is part of the reason I was coming at this from two angles, my part and his. I am not near the dreaded hormonal swing...I smack IN IT!! Sadly, I've been "in it" for some years now. And, yes, the wakefulness is all too familiar. The lightness of sleep to which I referred is exactly that. So, it's not precisely that it's dh's snoring that is the issue. But, because my body is already in a pattern of wakefulness, the snoring just compounds the issue. If/when I do awaken and he's snoring, it's just too much.

 

I was using natural progesterone cream for a time, but I did not notice any significant change. I suspect an ingested version requires a prescription, no?

[camibami]

I *do* worry about the stress to his body from sleep apnea, but there is no talking to him about it. He is firm that the Army will not know he snores ever since the guy we knew got medically retired.

 

We've gone round and round about it. I've given up, really.

 

Think of the most stubborn man you know, and multiply that by 10, and thats DH with this issue. He's not often stubborn or irrational, but when he is- no power on earth can change him. He's your stereotypical "man who won't go to the Dr".

[*anj*]

I *do* worry about the stress to his body from sleep apnea, but there is no talking to him about it. He is firm that the Army will not know he snores ever since the guy we knew got medically retired.

 

We've gone round and round about it. I've given up, really.

 

Think of the most stubborn man you know, and multiply that by 10, and thats DH with this issue. He's not often stubborn or irrational, but when he is- no power on earth can change him. He's your stereotypical "man who won't go to the Dr".

 

I understand.

Oh well, what can you do but hope for the best, right? ;)

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I *do* worry about the stress to his body from sleep apnea, but there is no talking to him about it. He is firm that the Army will not know he snores ever since the guy we knew got medically retired.

 

We've gone round and round about it. I've given up, really.

 

Think of the most stubborn man you know, and multiply that by 10, and thats DH with this issue. He's not often stubborn or irrational, but when he is- no power on earth can change him. He's your stereotypical "man who won't go to the Dr".

 

 

That's too bad. Dh was in the process of getting a C-pap at Walter Reed when he retired via the usual processes. I know a good number of soldiers who have apnea and who are treated and still IN the military.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Another vote for the sleep study.

It's fine for you to find a way to sleep more deeply, but that won't help your husband with a potentially tragic situation.

My snoring had gotten so bad that dh was sleeping down on the couch more often than not.

I finally went for a sleep study and found out that I do indeed have apnea. I've had my cpap for about 2 months now, and we are both sleeping a lot better. I am still not 100% used to the mask. It takes me a few minutes to get comfortable before I fall asleep. And as a woman, I wish I wasn't laying there like Darth Vader every night, you know? But it's worth it. It's a joke with us now. We've been married long enough that he really doesn't care what I look like as long as he's getting a good night's sleep! :)

 

The machine makes a soft whirring sound which is probably not different from the fan you've been sleeping with already.

 

Please do encourage him to have a sleep study done. It could save his life and will certainly allow you both to get the rest you need.

 

Oh my goodness, *anj*. That thing will save your life. Wow. How cool that you've got this!

[Debbi in Texas]

Dh snores and was being treated by an ENY who claimed to be able to stop the snoring. He did some simple surgeries and then did one a little more invasive. Dh was supposed to be able to go to work the next day. Something went wrong with the surgery and dh lost 5 units of blood before the night was over.

 

He still snores.

 

We opted for separate bedrooms. Much more comfortable than the couch.

[mom2hunangirls]

I'm a very light sleeper too. For years and years I went on 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Then I married my snoring husband and that would kill the 3-4 hours of sleep I was getting. His snoring is mostly from allergies and a previous surgery...so I'm not worried about him.

But I cracked when our first daughter came home and I had to keep up with her with no sleep.

Sleeping in separate rooms helped but I still didn't sleep good.

I had to get back on bc to level out my hormones and that helped some but Ambien is the only thing that lets me sleep.

I've joked with my doctor that when I take Ambien my husband doesn't snore.

I'm able to take a very very low dose that allows me to sleep but also allows me to wake up with our 11 month old too. My doctor said at this dosage there was no danger to me. It's not known to cause a chemical dependency, but could cause an emotional one. I'm ok with that. I'd be emotionally dependent on my sleep machine if that had worked too!!!

I never could take any of the otc stuff...always made me jittery.

[homewithtrinity]

My dh started wearing nose stips at my request. They help about half the time. The other half I am poking him as you do your hubby. I have discovered that when he has to sleep on his back if he lays propped up on several pillows he does not snore.

[Liz CA]

This is part of the reason I was coming at this from two angles, my part and his. I am not near the dreaded hormonal swing...I smack IN IT!! Sadly, I've been "in it" for some years now. And, yes, the wakefulness is all too familiar. The lightness of sleep to which I referred is exactly that. So, it's not precisely that it's dh's snoring that is the issue. But, because my body is already in a pattern of wakefulness, the snoring just compounds the issue. If/when I do awaken and he's snoring, it's just too much.

 

I was using natural progesterone cream for a time, but I did not notice any significant change. I suspect an ingested version requires a prescription, no?

 

I heard the "yam" alternatives you can get OTC are not very effective - but I have never tried them. I had a naturopath prescribe bio-identical progesterone in cream form and a compound pharmacy puts it together for me. It's not as expensive as one would think. My little tub lasts me about 4 months and it costs around

$20.00.:)