I can't get off this gerbil wheel of worrying & bad thoughts. I don't know what to do

[unsinkable]

What do you do when you can't sleep from worrying and the thoughts keep going over & over in your head all day?!

 

I do try to pray.

 

I try to do other things (during the day) but the thoughts just keep going around and around.

 

I need advice about what to do to get over this.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

:grouphug: That is one of the worst feelings in the world.

 

When this happens to me, I've decided to stop trying to fight the thoughts, and just start thinking about them. It seems like the harder I try to get them out of my mind so I can sleep, the more the go around. So now, I just concentrate really hard on each problem at a time for a while, and eventually I will fall asleep. It seems to work better for me than trying to distract my mind.

[Chris in VA]

There are certain verses (which I can't list right now, but I'll bet this thread will contain some...;)) that bear repeating when I can't sleep or am anxious.

 

I also check my breathing--deep breaths help the body to get rid of adrenaline.

 

Sometimes I write things down and physically pray over them, laying my hands on them. I actually have a "prayer pocket," a little fabric pocket with a verse on it that I can tuck concerns into on little slips of paper.

 

Another technique I use is to "follow the trail." I'm not sure what this is really called, but it involves deep thought about what I'm truly anxious about. I say, Ok, if that happens, then what would happen, then what, then what? What am I truly afraid/fearful/anxious about? Am I making everything a disaster? I am only looking at the worst possible outcome? Would I still be ok if X happened?

 

It helps to acknowledge my fears, and then take an action to feel better, but it also can help to acknowledge the deeper fear, and then ask God to be who he says he is--totally trustworthy.

[Momma H]

I have had that problem before too. I read an article that said, everyone has those thoughts through out the day. We all have thousands of thoughts a day. Sometimes, we become focused on certain ones. It is not that having those thoughts are not normal, it is just that we grab a hold of some and really examine them. It helped me to realize that everyone thinks wierd things sometimes. Just remember that and let it go. Don't grab hold of it and think you are wierd for having it, everyone does. For me, just having THAT realization really helped. It is almost impossible to focus on NOT having a thought! Try really hard not to think of pink elephants!!!!! I know, you just thought of pink elephants. Just normalize the behavior (because it is) and move on.

I hope that helps.

[jenL]

I did a wonderful women's study at my church with the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. It is chock full of advice to deal with this type of behavior, and there are tons of verses in it on which to meditate. You could read it without needing to be in an actual group study. It has changed the way I view my "worries" and I've been a calmer person as a result. I really think it could help you from your op description.

 

:grouphug:

[Kathleen in VA]

I did a wonderful women's study at my church with the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. It is chock full of advice to deal with this type of behavior, and there are tons of verses in it on which to meditate. You could read it without needing to be in an actual group study. It has changed the way I view my "worries" and I've been a calmer person as a result. I really think it could help you from your op description.

 

:grouphug:

 

I was going to recommend this book as well.

 

This is one of my worst problems too. I am a huge worrier. Some things that have helped me are:

 

1. Reaffirming the goodness of God in my mind. Satan wants us to believe that God is not good - that's one of his major ploys in this life. It causes people to become bitter towards God or just conclude there is no God. But the fact is, the Bible states many times that God is good. God's Word never changes and He never changes so He is good. That means that no matter what happens to me or my loved ones (even if I imagine the worst), God allowed it through His hand of love and even if I do not understand why, I know He will give me the grace to handle it.

 

2. Realizing that being afraid is actually quite dishonoring to God - I'd even go so far as to call it sin. By my worry I am communicating to the world that I do not trust God to have my best interests at heart and that I fear He is arbitrary and capricious. My purpose in being on this earth is not to have a "cushy" life where everything suits me and goes my way. My purpose is to glorify God. God gets the most glory when I trust in His goodness during my most difficult trials.

 

3. Usually I worry about getting killed in an accident or one of my children getting hurt or killed in an accident. I really do not like to drive and avoid driving a lot. But life requires that I get out sometimes and I have to push myself past comfortable and out the door when that happens. I still think there is the definite possibility that I might be in an accident, but I calm myself by remembering that the worst thing that could happen is that I could die (or a loved one could die). The thing is, we are all going to die sooner or later - there is no getting around that. Life on this earth is short no matter how long you live. The main thing is to be ready to die. To trust God with my eternal state knowing that my hope lies in Christ's finished work on the cross and not my own goodness. If today is my day, then I am ready because my sins have been paid for by my Savior. I will spend eternity in heaven. If today is one of my loved one's days, I trust that God will carry me through and that someday I will see them in heaven.

 

Mainly, I trust in God's sovereignty and in His goodness. It is not always easy to get to a place in my thinking where I am actually calm. But I know that I must push myself to do this - to step out in faith, trusting that He is the almighty God, no one can stay His hand. He will accomplish His will no matter what and I need to submit to that even if it is something I wouldn't have chosen for myself. He will uphold me and support me and surround me with His love no matter what happens to me here on this earth.

 

God is good all the time; all the time God is good. No matter what happens here in this temporal existence, I will have all of eternity to live with Him in perfect peace and safety.

 

Psalm 34 is one of my favorite passages to read when I am afraid. I read it every day for weeks before I went in for my back surgery because I was afraid I would die during the operation. The main gist is that the only valid fear is a healthy fear of God. I don't mean a "shaking in my boots" fear - but the recognition that God is the person I will ultimately be accountable to and that I need to focus on my relationship with Him and submit to His will, trusting in His wisdom, goodness, mercy, love and justice.

[AuntieM]

Many years ago I bought a copy of Foxes' Book of Martyrs. When I would feel overwhelmed or worried I would pull it off the shelf and read. My troubles paled in comparison. Not only that, when I considered what these heroes of the faith chose to endure for the glory of God.... well, it rightened my perspective.

 

Just an idea. If you choose to read this, you might enjoy looking for an updated copy.

[Laurie4b]

For the specific thoughts: write them down. The act of writing them down gets them literally out of your head and someplace else. Fold a sheet of paper in half vertically and write them on the left hand side, one at a time. On the right hand side, write rational or spiritual responses/refutations to the thought to the left. Then the next time you think a particular thought, counter it with what you wrote on the right side. (You may need another adult to help you with the right side because our irrational thoughts seem rational to us unless you air them out. Others can see what's wrong with them) . This is very difficult at first, but it's a common form of spiritual warfare--takiing all your thoughts captive to Christ (if you're a Christian)

 

For the general anxiety, make sure that you are exercisign 1/2 hour per day.

[AuntieM]

Oh, don't forget about music. You know how easy it is to get a song stuck in your head. Select a few wonderful ones - hymns, praise and worship to redirect your focus - and let a CD or iPod playlist help get you off that fruitless wheel.

[OnTheBrink]

I'm prone to get anxious, too. When I find myself unable to sleep over worrying, I remind my self of God's sovereignty and read Phillipians 4:8--Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

 

And, I recently heard Martha Peace speak and she made a comment about worrying over things that haven't happened, and how we can work ourselves into a dither over the "what-ifs". Don't do that! Focus on what IS and focus on God's control over your life. It takes conscious effort, but with practice, it becomes easier and easier.

[KLynnTX]

You've gotten some great advice here....I wanted to mention that when I was getting my thyroid adjusted, I had many times of feelings like these. It's actually my first clue that I need to get it checked. Since being on the right dosage of Armour thyroid, I haven't experienced this.

 

It could be related to other hormone issues as well. Please do not suffer with this very long. Talk to your doctor. It can so often be something chemical.

 

Praying you have peace.

 

K.

 

One of the most helpful things for me, when I was sort of freaking out with feelings of panic or anxiety, was something I read online. Instead of pacing around, or begging God to take away these thoughts/fears, just take a deep breath, and acknowledge that you are worried, and realize it will pass. They said instead of fighting it, sort of accept it. Realize you've been here before, and gotten through it. And you will be ok. You might google best ways to deal with panic attack. There was a lot of great advice.

[Mimm]

I would get up, make an extensive to do list. But what usually keeps me up is knowing I have a lot to do and worrying that I'll forget something. If it's something that don't have any solution that I can take action on in the next day, like money issues or whatever, (this is going to sound silly), I picture putting the problem in a wooden box, closing it and locking it and shoving it to a corner of my mind and then deliberately thinking of something else, usually something silly like trying to remember in detail the plot of a book I read recently or something. Something enjoyable that won't keep me awake and something that I won't mind dreaming about (no horror books!) when I do fall asleep. This doesn't always work, but I keep working on it because I want it to work and I'm convinced it's a matter of practice. :)

Edited July 16, 2010 by Mimm
Edited for clarity

[KrissiK]

One thing I've done, especially when I'm trying to sleep is I'll imagine I'm in a room and I'll visualize everyone and everything that is bothering me. THen, I imagine a door and myself with a broom and I'll sweep everything out the door one by one, and imagine it falling out into outer space. THen, I shut the door and imagine myself on a tropical island or someplace that I'd like to go, or I'll daydream about things I'd like to do. It sounds kind of hokey, but it really works for me. I refuse to dwell on things when I'm trying to go to sleep.

[Critter]

The thing that has helped my dd the most with this issue is taking a good B Complex vitamin with magnesium. A friend that's into homeopathy suggested it, and it really has made a marked difference.

[PollyOR]

Maybe someone has already mentioned this...

 

I find that things pop up over and over because my brain is afraid it will forget. It is like a child constantly reminding you of something he wants because he is afraid you will forget. If you write down the thoughts that keep running through your head, your brain will no longer feel the need to remind you since they can't be forgotten now that they are recorded. It's worth a try. :grouphug:

[Joanne]

How comfortable with, open to or accepting are you of "new age" or "metaphysical" ideas?

[simka2]

Personally, those types of racing thoughts start a landslide of issues for me. When I can't sleep, I get grouchy, when I'm grouchy at the kids I feel guilty, then I ashamed that quoteing scriptures and prayer didn't help. So, there I am feeling ashamed, guilty, and grouchy..which leads to deppression, that in turn leads back to anxiety and the whole cycle starts again :glare:

 

I have had to go on anti-anxiety med and I have xanax for panic attacks. My dr. calls them my fire extinguishers...when the anxiety gets really bad I can use one and it breaks the cycle described above.

 

Hope it helps!

[wbtx]

a little "talk" with myself. I will ask myself "How are you doing RIGHT now ,RIGHT in this moment?" Then I will say "Right in this moment everything is ok." Then I say "Focus on this moment" I repeat that everytime the worry thoughts start. Can't remember where I saw this idea. Hope something helps-I know it is a miserable feeling.:grouphug:

[ma23peas]

Exercise, exercise, exercise...not 20 minute walk but a full on hour aerobics/swimming/biking you name it, do this an hour a day, it produces natural endorphins and you'd be amazed how it turns your outlook around!!

 

Tara

[holdoll]

My dad used to ask me, "What are your fears, and how real are they?" Sounds simple but most of us don't examine them. Also, I've read that 95% of all our fears never come true. I try to remind myself that 9.5 times out of 10 whatever I'm concerned about will never happen.

 

I have been an insomniac for 34 years. Mostly because my "worrying" wakes me up. I can fall asleep just fine. When that happens, I do the long, slow breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth. A count of 6 for each inhale and exhale. I know it sounds very corny, but before I know it I'm yawning and then out like a light.

 

I think someone on here mentioned thyroid. I couldn't agree more. Get your physical self checked out too while you're working on the spiritual. I did and my levels were low. Sometimes that's enough to bring on irritability, panic attacks and depression. I really thought I was losing my mind. I couldn't understand how everyone else was so calm and I was such a basket-case (on the inside). Now I'm on Levoxyl and seem to handle stress much better. Also, get a good multi-vitamin for women!

[Denisemomof4]

I did the Bondage Breaker bible study to rid myself of worrying. For the most part I do pretty well. I used to worry obsessively. Now, if I start to worry about something, I usually can turn it off and shut out the worry by focusing on something else. Sometimes, while laying in bed, I "visualize" myself looking down at myself and watching me sleeping soundly. I know it sounds stupid but it's something that has worked for me. Or I will also concentrate on my breathing.

 

I started out by turning every worry into a prayer. Now this is what I do.

 

Of course there are certain things I worry about, like ds driving in the snow. I don't think I'll ever learn how to not worry about that. I'm already worried about this winter. He'll be driving 20 miles each way to college in a sports car, over a small mtn.:ohmy:

[juelle]

Oh, don't forget about music. You know how easy it is to get a song stuck in your head. Select a few wonderful ones - hymns, praise and worship to redirect your focus - and let a CD or iPod playlist help get you off that fruitless wheel.

 

:iagree:

 

There are Bach Flower Remedies which apply specifically to repetitive or unwanted thoughts. Sometimes you need a little help to break the cycle.:001_smile:

[Lovedtodeath]

This works best in the shower and if you do the whole process more than once. It also helps if you mentally picture tapping as you are trying to get to sleep.

 

www.tapping.com :grouphug:

 

[Mejane]

Exercise, exercise, exercise...not 20 minute walk but a full on hour aerobics/swimming/biking you name it, do this an hour a day, it produces natural endorphins and you'd be amazed how it turns your outlook around!!

 

Tara

 

Not to mention it will physically exhaust you so you'll sleep better. I also do what I call "pulling a Scarlett" - I tell myself I'll think about it tomorrow. Then I'm usually too busy during the day to let it bother me.

[unsinkable]

Thanks, everyone.

 

I can't respond now but maybe soon. I'd like to "talk" about this more.

 

:grouphug:

[EJCMom]

I remind myself that worry is prepaid interest on a debt that may never come.

[kalanamak]

I cut back on coffee and read a favorite book. Often a funny one.

[KathyBC]

Can you do anything about any of these worries? Even something small? Feeling powerless can really exacerbate things.

 

I had a friend with another way of looking at sleeplessness - maybe there is a situation that needs your prayer. Try to pray for people outside the hamster wheel of worry, see if that helps any. I've tried it and it does help somewhat.

 

I find reading before bed, rather than surfing the internet, seems to help. Daily physical exercise, reducing caffeine - check.

[tex-mex]

Haven't read any replies -- first impression is you are having classic ruminations. Hallmark symptom of OCD. (I have this. :grouphug:) Have you had a full health check to verify or rule this out? Luvox is common in treating OCD and CBT therapy helps overcome the ruminations. HTH.

 

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php

 

http://www.ocdrecoverycenters.com/ocd/art_comptreatment.html

Edited July 18, 2010 by tex-mex

[Night Elf]

What do you do when you can't sleep from worrying and the thoughts keep going over & over in your head all day?!

 

I haven't read the other responses but I suffer from this, among some other things. I was diagnosed with OCD just a few months ago. The medication I'm taking is helping to cut down the intensity allowing me to use a coping mechanism for when it happens. I have to force myself to do something to distract myself whether it's computer, tv, or reading. I don't have any other hobbies or those might work as well. I always thought OCD was only the kind of repetitive events like counting or touching objects, but I've learned that thoughts can be obsessive too. Just sharing.

 

Oh, and I used to take a sleeping aid every night but since I started college, I'm so tired by 11:00pm that I fall asleep on my own. It's been rather nice.

[Impish]

I have had to open my Bible and read this more times than I can count, but it really does bring me peace of mind:

 

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

 

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 

Worrying will NOT change the outcome. What happens is going to happen and worry is just you using up energy that could be used on more positive things. Will pray for your peace of mind.

Thank you. I don't know if unsinkable is helped by this, but it certainly hit home for me. :grouphug:

[Alyce]

It's not uncommon for bipolars to try to go to bed and not stop thinking about random things so that can't ever relax enough. I take sleeping pills as it's the only way I can get to sleep. If I don't I stay awake all night thinking and it makes it all the worse the next day. REally there are a lot of explanations for this problem. My best advice for you is to go to your Dr and talk to her about it. and see what she recommends

[gaillardia]

Exercise, exercise, exercise...not 20 minute walk but a full on hour aerobics/swimming/biking you name it, do this an hour a day, it produces natural endorphins and you'd be amazed how it turns your outlook around!!

 

Tara

Yep, I agree. Or working really hard, hard physically demanding chores or yard work does it for me!

Swimming, taking a hard walk or hike. And a private chat with someone you can trust. I download on Heavenly Father all the time.

I also try to find someone who needs help and help them.

Reading scriptures works for me too, don't know if you're into that. Keeping a scripture journal is helpful too.:grouphug:

[KathyBC]

Ruminations, OCD, Bipolar... geez, you've all given me new things to worry about anyway. :)

[cbollin]

I did the Bondage Breaker bible study to rid myself of worrying. For the most part I do pretty well.

 

ooh.... I did that Neil Anderson book too. Started with Victory over the Darkness (also Neil Anderson) with my counselor. Then, we moved to Bondage Breaker. yet I still felt like I was on the gerbil wheel and that it wasn't me making the wheel start. so......

 

I've also started reading Anderson's Freedom from Fear. I like that it gives me "permission" or "confidence" or something to get medications for it too. I like his quote several times in the book Freedom from Fear (anxiety) "It is very difficult to process biblical truth in extreme cases and fear and anxiety until the physical symptoms have been reduced through medication. The alleviation of human suffering by legitimate medical means is truly an act of mercy."

 

wow. that is what my counselor kept telling me too.

 

So, I have my meds and my prayers from Bondage Breaker, as well as nutrition, chiropractor care, Jazzericse for my exercise and calling out to God.

 

I was really surprised that I needed the meds to help. I guess I never knew. But when my chiropractor did some screening tool that check for hormone levels and levels of neurotransmitters in me, I learned that my body was depleted of some important neurotransmitters that medication could help while the exercise and nutrition methods kick in too.

 

I was very glad when my Christian counselor advised me to get the medical route too. I should have listened sooner! Once that physical element in my body was being dealt with, the Biblical verses were able to be processed and I do feel like the gerbil wheel is not where I am anymore.

 

-crystal

[Kari C in SC]

1. Reaffirming the goodness of God in my mind. Satan wants us to believe that God is not good - that's one of his major ploys in this life. It causes people to become bitter towards God or just conclude there is no God. But the fact is, the Bible states many times that God is good. God's Word never changes and He never changes so He is good. That means that no matter what happens to me or my loved ones (even if I imagine the worst), God allowed it through His hand of love and even if I do not understand why, I know He will give me the grace to handle it.

 

2. Realizing that being afraid is actually quite dishonoring to God - I'd even go so far as to call it sin. By my worry I am communicating to the world that I do not trust God to have my best interests at heart and that I fear He is arbitrary and capricious. My purpose in being on this earth is not to have a "cushy" life where everything suits me and goes my way. My purpose is to glorify God. God gets the most glory when I trust in His goodness during my most difficult trials.

 

3. Usually I worry about getting killed in an accident or one of my children getting hurt or killed in an accident. I really do not like to drive and avoid driving a lot. But life requires that I get out sometimes and I have to push myself past comfortable and out the door when that happens. I still think there is the definite possibility that I might be in an accident, but I calm myself by remembering that the worst thing that could happen is that I could die (or a loved one could die). The thing is, we are all going to die sooner or later - there is no getting around that. Life on this earth is short no matter how long you live. The main thing is to be ready to die. To trust God with my eternal state knowing that my hope lies in Christ's finished work on the cross and not my own goodness. If today is my day, then I am ready because my sins have been paid for by my Savior. I will spend eternity in heaven. If today is one of my loved one's days, I trust that God will carry me through and that someday I will see them in heaven.

 

Mainly, I trust in God's sovereignty and in His goodness. It is not always easy to get to a place in my thinking where I am actually calm. But I know that I must push myself to do this - to step out in faith, trusting that He is the almighty God, no one can stay His hand. He will accomplish His will no matter what and I need to submit to that even if it is something I wouldn't have chosen for myself. He will uphold me and support me and surround me with His love no matter what happens to me here on this earth.

 

God is good all the time; all the time God is good. No matter what happens here in this temporal existence, I will have all of eternity to live with Him in perfect peace and safety.

 

 

This was very helpful to me. As I deal with the loss of my ds, many times I feel like it is too much. I can't take it, etc. I calm myself and realize I can take it. I may not want to, but in truth I can. I cry and I talk and I cry more, but I do make it. At first, I was very afraid to drive. I would see semis and I would freak out inside. I was worried I may not want to drive anymore. That is HUGE for me because I love taking trips, etc. I am feeling much better now. I still have my days where I worry. I worry about where my ds is. He believed in God, but he wasn't sure about everything else. It was really my fault in that I didn't really know what I believed until I was older. I had my ds so young that we sort of grew up together. I keep telling myself no amount of worrying will fix anything, but yet I still worry. Anyway, thank you for your words.