what age do you let your kids......

[poodlemama]

My nearly 9 year old is starting to want more freedom. While I'd love to give her more freedom and more responsibility I'm not sure.... And I can't remember what age my parents let me have certain freedoms.

 

So, what age do you let your kids...

 

go in the front yard without you?

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)?

Babysit younger sibs?

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?

 

I know it depend a lot on the individual child, I'm just trying to get an idea. Also what would indicate to you they might be ready for such responsibility?

 

Lindsey

DD 8 (almost 9)

DS 6

DD 3

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dd8 has been going into the front yard without me for over a year. I will keep the window open and will check on her now and then.

 

Dd8 just stayed home for the first time the other day. She was very sick and I had to run to the store for some medicine for her (a 5 min. drive). I took ds13 with me because I needed a couple of other things and it made it a much shorter trip to have him run to other parts of the store for the other items. She had a cell phone and talked to me when I got to the store. She then talked to her brother while we were driving back. She wasn't scared, just a bit lonely!

 

Dd8 "babysits" younger neighborhood kids - ie. she plays with a 6 year old and a 4 year old in their front yard while the mom is inside. I wouldn't want her to have more responsibility than that until she takes a babysitting course at age 12 - even if they were our kids.

 

Dd8 has been able to ride her bike down the street and back for the last year.

 

Note - we live on a cul-de-sac where we know all of our neighbors by name.

[Frontier Mom]

I think it really depends heavily upon where you live. We used to live on a busy street and I was very hesitant about letting my dcs go in the front yard alone. Now we live on a cul-de-sac with a policeman who lives across the street. I let them go out in the front yard by themselves all the time.

 

I think 9 is a little young to leave them home alone though. I usually won't do that until the oldest one at home is at least 11. One of my neighbors left their 9 year old at home for about 15 minutes. During that time, a storm came and he ran to our house. The parents were mortified to find out I knew he was home alone, though I didn't judge them at all. I was just glad we are such good neighbors.

 

I start small with responsibility and move from there. I think you have to follow your instinct and so much depends upon the child's personality and where you live. Err on the side of caution.

[zaichiki]

go in the front yard without you?

in *my* neighborhood -- 4 (but with the dog and siblings nearby)

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)?

for oldest it was 9, for second child it was 7 (different individuals with different maturity levels)

Babysit younger sibs?

hmmm....

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?

not yet, but *I* was 7

 

I know it depend a lot on the individual child, I'm just trying to get an idea. Also what would indicate to you they might be ready for such responsibility?

 

You're right: it depends on the child.

[Mandamom]

So, what age do you let your kids...

 

go in the front yard without you? around 3 or 4 with siblings. We have a big yard and they don't go near the road of our slow residential area. They usually want to start playing outside by themselves around close to 6 which is fine with me.

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)? -- 8 for some of my kids and 12 for others.

 

 

Babysit younger sibs? -- due to personality conflicts only one has and he was 16.

 

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there? When my kids are 8 they can ride in our residential neighborhood which is a mile around.

 

This is what we choose to do and it works well.

[simka2]

I don't let them stay home alone yet, because they are group and would get into trouble ;)

 

But I do let them 9,8,8,5 ride around the neighborhood block.

 

I let them play in the front yard alone, but not with all there toys because I have a very grouchy neighbor!

 

We live in a relatively quiet neighborhood.

[mom4him]

My nearly 9 year old is starting to want more freedom. While I'd love to give her more freedom and more responsibility I'm not sure.... And I can't remember what age my parents let me have certain freedoms.

 

So, what age do you let your kids...

 

go in the front yard without you?

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)?

Babysit younger sibs?

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?

 

I know it depend a lot on the individual child, I'm just trying to get an idea. Also what would indicate to you they might be ready for such responsibility?

 

Lindsey

DD 8 (almost 9)

DS 6

DD 3

My two youngest have been allowed to play in the front yard alone for several years. They are 9 & 10. It is fenced and I am always close by. They have also been allowed to ride their bike by them selves within a specified area(2 blocks up, 2 blocks down, and around our block away from the busy street.)

I wouldn't let either of them baby sit until they are at least 13-14 and I would have to know the people well even then.

For a short time I would leave them at that same age but not now. Neither of them would be comfortable being left at this point.

These are for my kids, neighborhood and family situations. Each situation is different.

[Scarlett]

My nearly 9 year old is starting to want more freedom. While I'd love to give her more freedom and more responsibility I'm not sure.... And I can't remember what age my parents let me have certain freedoms.

 

Ds is 10

So, what age do you let your kids Depends so much on where you live.....I just moved from a nice small neighborhood on a cul-de-sac street..so most of my answer are with that backdrop

go in the front yard without you? From the time he was about 6 or 7

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)? Left him sleep while I walked up and down the street early am....as young as 7.

Babysit younger sibs? No younger sibs. I did leave him in charge of a 2 year old while I took a shower the other night. That made me nervous.

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there? Going through this right now with the new move...old house he's been doing that for a year or so. New house is in a small town and he is riding 2 or 3 blocks from home---up to a nearby school. He wants to ride his bike further but when I walked with him while he rode the other day I realized he is not cautious enough about the traffic. I worry much more about traffic than I do kidnappings.

 

In our old neighborhood where we had lived for 8 years I had began leaving him alone for a couple of hours at a time. New neighborhood....not at all yet. It is just a different deal here, although I do think it is safe. But gotta feel more comfortable

 

I know it depend a lot on the individual child, I'm just trying to get an idea. Also what would indicate to you they might be ready for such responsibility?

 

Lindsey

DD 8 (almost 9)

DS 6

DD 3

 

Ds is 10.

[Scarlett]

I don't let them stay home alone yet, because they are group and would get into trouble ;)

 

But I do let them 9,8,8,5 ride around the neighborhood block.

 

I let them play in the front yard alone, but not with all there toys because I have a very grouchy neighbor!

 

We live in a relatively quiet neighborhood.

 

I agree that I wouldn't leave more than one child home together....

[myfunnybunch]

So, what age do you let your kids...

 

go in the front yard without you? 6-7 if I can watch through the window, 9 if I can't.

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)? 8

Babysit younger sibs? 12

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there? 8 for around the block if I am able to see the child ride by as he makes the loop or to walk to a friend's house the next street over.

 

Cat

[KarenNC]

We live in a quiet suburban development which I feel is pretty safe overall.

 

I haven't let my almost 10 yo stay home alone yet. That will probably come over the next year. Starting this spring, I have allowed her to ride her bike alone in the short cul de sac two houses down from us. She can go down to the neighbor's house on the cul de sac alone to play with her friend. We had one incident where she didn't come home when she should, so I bought her a watch and it hasn't been an issue since.

 

When we are at our homeschool park days, she is allowed a fair amount of freedom to roam as long as she is in a group. She is allowed pretty free run of the church property when we are there as long as she is in a group.

 

In May, I allowed her to walk the quarter mile down our neighborhood street to the neighborhood pool to meet her coaches for swim team practice (pool was only open for the practice) then walk straight home. This worked well until we tried it once when the pool was open to others as well. She took advantage of the freedom and stayed 20 extra minutes to play with a friend (this ended up in grounding and other consequences). I figure this is a fairly normal pushing of the boundaries/not really thinking. You let the reins out a bit, then pull them back in when they try to go a bit too far.

 

I just started this spring allowing her to occasionally wait in the car for very short periods basically right outside the door of a couple of small stores we go to that have small individual parking lots. These stores are the size of a large living room, and she knows to come in if she gets too hot. With the really hot weather now, I haven't been letting her wait outside.

[rfoster]

Thank you for posting this! I have no ideas myself because we have the same EXACT situation with my ds who just turned 9 a few days ago, so I'm subscribing and :bigear:!

[Pamela H in Texas]

At what age do you let kiddo:

 

go in the front yard without you? This REALLY depends. It is based on SO many things like location. In a regular subdivision, 6 and me looking through the window or door every several minutes? You have to know they won't go into the street for any reason, they'll come to you if anyone pulls up to the curb or comes by on the sidewalk, etc. If you're rural enough, it's just not an issue with any child who won't run off. And if you're urban enough, you probably shouldn't (grown people don't hang outside alone).

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)? 6-8 as long as there was a way of communication and they knew what things TO do and what NOT to do while you're out.

 

Babysit younger sibs? NEVER with the ages of your children. You leave the younger ones when you are confident they can follow the rules and take care of their basic needs without someone. I believe "everybody needs backup" (~Buzz Lightyear), but that leaving a child who is 2 or 4 years senior in charge is a BAD idea. I left my kids alone together the first time when they were quite young (a little older than your first two), but they were ALONE TOGETHER, both to help one another, not one in charge.

 

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there? I'd just start with a close boundary and then slowly move it out. You might want to consider communication devices at some point. The kids love them, but you'll know if they are two blocks over and have a bad fall too. So if you don't allow them in the yard without you yet, you might need to start there, but quickly let the older two, start going a few houses in either direction (and when it was my kids, each house had a couple acres so it was pretty far), then make it to the end of the street either way then around the block (which is easier than crossing roads). Walk/ride it with them the first time to be CLEAR on boundaries. By the time your daughter is 10-12, it'll probably be pretty much wherever she wants to go as long as she gives you an idea what direction she's going and how long she'll be :) Boundaries are usually a bit further when there is a buddy.

Edited July 1, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[linders]

The right answer for you depends on the child and the location. We are on a quiet residential street now, used to be on a much busier residential "cut through." Both of my DS (7 and 9) have been allowed to play up and down the street (including a small field nearby) and ride bikes alone for the last year. (Still wouldn't do it at old location.) I let them walk through the small woods across the street to the pond, now that they are more snake-savvy. I leave DS9 alone for short times while I walk or if I need to take ds7 somewhere and DH will be home within 10-15 minutes. Won't leave them alone together - they are as much in danger from each other as from an outside force.

 

I still feel like I am over-protective - at 6 I rode my bike to school a mile away, part of that on a main road (I road on the sidewalk.) I played outside for hours with no one knowing where I was. We neighborhood kids were constantly climbing the barbed-wire fence to sneak into the navy base field behind our development.

[nd293]

My dd is 9yrs old. I think a lot depends on where you live. In South Africa, probably when she's about 29yrs :glare:. In the Middle East, she was staying alone for short periods at 7yrs. In Australia, as below.

 

go in the front yard without you? Still not allowed, except run to the postbox etc.

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)? I have been leaving her since she was about 9yrs for a 30 minute walk, which never leaves me more than 10 minutes from home. No cooking, stay inside, call me if anyone comes to the door. I left her for 10 minute shopping trips before then.

Babysit younger sibs? Depends how many, what age. She looks after ds3 when I go for a walk. I set him up with a dvd before I leave.

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there? Going to be years before I am happy with that one.

 

 

I think it's worth thinking through some "what if" scenarios. We were once staying in an apartment hotel (just prior to moving). It was a frantic time, and I left her with her sleeping 2yr old brother while I took 20 minutes to go to the shop. Less than 5 minutes after I got back and out the elevator the power went out. What would she have done with a crying toddler in a dark apartment and no neighbours she knew if I was stuck in the elevator? I was irresponsible.

 

On the other hand, now I leave her with telephone numbers for dh and a friend, and my number on speed-dial, and we have "safe" neighbours. We have also run through some worst-case scenarios. Much better preparation on my part.

[Farrar]

I let my 5 yos in the front yard without me. They also have limited privileges to ride scooters up and down the block, if they come ask and I'm in the front of the house. By next summer, I anticipate I'll let them go up and down the block by themselves, but no street crossing - our street isn't that busy and speed humps keep the traffic slow, but a couple of busy-ish streets border us. But they're also really responsible kids, who I am sure won't run off and will come get me if anything happens. They're not old enough for staying home alone and there's no younger sibs to babysit.

 

I think there's really two questions. First, do you trust your kid? Second, do you trust the world? I am pretty solidly free-range, so I admit I do trust the world. Our neighborhood is a very diverse, inner city neighborhood but I trust that no one is out to hurt my kids. There are a million other kids running around out there anyway. The first question is individual to each family.

[2squared]

At what age do you let kiddo:

 

go in the front yard without you? This REALLY depends. It is based on SO many things like location. In a regular subdivision, 6 and me looking through the window or door every several minutes? You have to know they won't go into the street for any reason, they'll come to you if anyone pulls up to the curb or comes by on the sidewalk, etc. If you're rural enough, it's just not an issue with any child who won't run off. And if you're urban enough, you probably shouldn't (grown people don't hang outside alone).

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)? 6-8 as long as there was a way of communication and they knew what things TO do and what NOT to do while you're out.

 

Babysit younger sibs? NEVER with the ages of your children. You leave the younger ones when you are confident they can follow the rules and take care of their basic needs without someone. I believe "everybody needs backup" (~Buzz Lightyear), but that leaving a child who is 2 or 4 years senior in charge is a BAD idea. I left my kids alone together the first time when they were quite young (a little older than your first two), but they were ALONE TOGETHER, both to help one another, not one in charge.

 

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there? I'd just start with a close boundary and then slowly move it out. You might want to consider communication devices at some point. The kids love them, but you'll know if they are two blocks over and have a bad fall too. So if you don't allow them in the yard without you yet, you might need to start there, but quickly let the older two, start going a few houses in either direction (and when it was my kids, each house had a couple acres so it was pretty far), then make it to the end of the street either way then around the block (which is easier than crossing roads). Walk/ride it with them the first time to be CLEAR on boundaries. By the time your daughter is 10-12, it'll probably be pretty much wherever she wants to go as long as she gives you an idea what direction she's going and how long she'll be :) Boundaries are usually a bit further when there is a buddy.

 

:iagree:

[TN Mama]

Definitely depends on where you live and what your neighborhood is like. In our last home I preferred the girls to play in the backyard. This was mostly due to the speed in which people drove up our street. We were in a neighborhood, not a busy road, but because we were on a hill people seemed to just fly up/down. Our backyard wasn't fenced and I did keep the sliding door open so I could hear and I would also check on them often. Now the girls play out front and I still check on them often. We are in a new place and don't know neighbors yet.

When we are at our family farm for vacation, the girls roam freely. They know not to go near the lake (alone) without lifejackets even though they can both swim.

 

I haven't left them home yet, aside from going to the end of the n'hood street.

 

Unfortunately our neighborhood isn't good for bike riding. Lots of new construction, so the roads aren't finished and there are lots of big trucks driving around. We go to the park for bike riding.

 

I don't see the babysitting younger sibs ever happening in this house. The girls are just 19 months apart.

[NanceXToo]

My daughter is 9 1/2. She is allowed to play/ride bikes out front under the following conditions:

 

She can't go/play in the street, only on the sidewalks in front of the house (we don't have front yards, only sidewalks... and backyards).

 

She can't go off our block. I want to be able to go out on the front porch and look for her or call for her, and see her or get a response.

 

She can't be out front all alone. Only if she's out there playing with other kids from the neighborhood. If they go inside, she comes inside (or goes out into the backyard instead).

 

I think last year was the first year I started letting her do those things- so 8 when she was allowed out front under those conditions.

 

My 4 1/2 year old is not allowed out front at all without me or his dad. He is allowed to play in the backyard if his sister/older cousins or someone is out there playing with him, or if I'm out there with him. If he's with a sibling/cousin, I just keep checking on them out the window and reminding them not to leave the backyard. But he's not allowed to be out front under supervision of other children because he's just not old enough to be trusted to NOT go further than I'd want him to, or to NOT ever step into the street, and I wouldn't want people driving by to see a child that young outside without an adult etc.

 

Starting probably this year I have very rarely/occasionally left my 9 y/o home for up to like five minutes at most while I ran out to grab a pizza I'd ordered from two blocks away or something like that. So if you have a 9 y/o I'd say it's fine to leave her while you walk the dog around the block, if she feels secure with that.

 

I don't know when I'd let her babysit her younger brother without me being home, other than like "play in the backyard with him" with me being right in the house. And I'm sure that depends so much on the individual child's interest and maturity and ability to pay attention to what's going on and to respond appropriately and on how long it would be for and whether there was a trusted relative or neighbor right nearby they could go to just in case and so on. I'd just have to play that one by ear. It definitely wouldn't be now. She gets distracted easily, and sometimes she gets annoyed by him, and he wouldn't listen to her the way he would to me.

Edited July 1, 2010 by NanceXToo

[TravelingChris]

It all depended where we were living at the time. Generally,

 

 

go in the front yard without you? about 4 or 5 but very dependent where we lived

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)? agaon about 4 or 5 but my dogs are small and got very short walks. Probably a little older for somewhat longer walks

Babysit younger sibs? The youngest I let this happen was 11 with a Babysitting course. Each child could be responsible for themselves somewhat earlier than for others. My oldest didn't get to babysit both my daughters until he was 15. He could babysit the youngest earlier since he got along better.

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there? Depends on the neighborhood but most was 5

[Mama Lynx]

I agree that I wouldn't leave more than one child home together....

 

Again, it depends on the children. I cannot leave my younger two children at home together. My older two, however, never caused a moment's trouble or concern.

[poodlemama]

Thank you everyone. This really helps. The point about each child being ready to be home (no sib. babysitting) is really good-- I was wondering about that already. Especially since the 6.5 year old is almost as responsible as the almost 9 year old.

 

I think I will start working on getting the older two ready to be able to stay home for short periods while I go for a quick walk (3 year old can ride in the stroller). I think I'll need to get a phone for them, talk to neighbors, go over rules.

 

The front yard and biking issues are a bit more tricky as we live on a fairly busy road . I think if they had a phone or walkie-talky I'd be OK with sending them across the street to the cul-du-sac to ride together.

 

Thanks, I think I now have some goals and a bit of a plan to get there (for the short term). Sometimes it's overwhelming to think of all the steps involved to go from where they are now to being full-fledged living on their own adults!

 

Lindsey

DD 8

DS 6

DD 3

[Peela]

Depends where you live etc as others have said. Also, I had the sort of kids who jsut didnt do silly things. I dont know why, but they didnt. They didnt drink poison from bottles under teh sink, they didnt climb on the roof or hang from the rafters when I went out of sight. So, combining their temperaments, with the relatively safe areas we have lived in, and the fact they were together a lot...and for us, a lot earlier than many others.

 

Go in the front yard without me?

I remember ds at age 7, when we first pulled him out of school, was wandering around looking for bugs in the front yard on his own.Probably well before then- age 4 or 5. Once I knew they wouldnt run on the road for anything (even a ball etc) I was ok with them in the front yard.

 

Stay home for a short period of time?

I have 2 kids close in age. Dh and I would go for a walk around the neighbourhood once they were around 4 and 5 years old, leaving them in front of a video.

 

Babysit younger sibs?

Mine didnt babysit- they are 17 months apart and were considered equal. We never let their half sister, 5 years older than them, babysit them, because she was not sensible- diagnosed ADHD- and they were safer when she wasnt there.

 

Bikes close to home ?

For that one I have been later than many. They were fine when we lived right on a bike path- in that case, by the time they were riding bikes I was happy with them riding out of sight, knowing they were going short distances. By 8 or so they would go off for an hour or two- together or with their older sister (although again, they were probably safer without her).

That was only on the bike path, however, and we have lived along a river most of their lives, right opposite a bike path.

I would not allow my kids to ride on the road until they were 12 years old. Until around age 12, kids dont have proper adult peripheral vision and I do not believe they are as safe on the road as I would like, until that age.

To me, cars are a far bigger threat, and realer one, than possible kidnappings etc, so no bikes on the road until 12.

[Momling]

go in the front yard without you?

- Current (safe) neighborhood / fenced yard: 3

- Old (unsafe) neighborhood / unfenced yard: 6

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog

- About 5

 

Stay home while I was at a shop or running a quick errand...

- About 7

 

Babysit younger sibs?

- Not really applicable... But hypothetically for a short time with, say, a 3-4 yr old child...

- More mature daughter: 9

- Less mature daughter: 12

 

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?

- Both kids 7

Edited July 1, 2010 by Momling

[Desert Rat]

For riding bikes and playing out front, 7-8, if they are together. Alone, well, I probably would wait until 10. Stay at home for short periods like your example- 9 or 10. My folks live a couple blocks away. I will leave the boys home if I'm just running over their to pick up something or drop something off. I'm home in less than 5-10 minutes.

Babysitting younger siblings I'd wait until the child showed that he/she is capable of being in charge with out being nasty about it and understands how to take care of emergencies or bad behavior.

HTH

[joannqn]

My kids are 10, 8, 3, and 11 months.

 

So, what age do you let your kids...

 

go in the front yard without you?

I started letting the older two play outside alone last year in an effort to give them more freedom. This year, I let the 3 year old go out there with them. He gets cabin fever easily and hates being stuck inside when they can be outside. I can't spend my whole day outside with him so I started letting him go with them. He's done well so far with one exception, but I don't think he'll be doing that again.

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)?

My kids are okay being inside alone while I'm outside talking to a neighbor. DH and I let them go in after a family walk while we continued recently. The three older kids get along well, and DS3 listens to his sister very well.

 

Babysit younger sibs?

Beyond the above, not yet. My kids are not allowed to stay home alone when we go places they can't run and get us. They don't like to use the phone and I'm not comfortable leaving them until they are comfortable with the phone.

 

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?

Last year, my oldest could go around the block alone but my DS8 could only go if DD was with him (ie. part of a group, not only). This year they can both go alone. Occasionally, DD with take DS3 around the block.

 

I know it depend a lot on the individual child, I'm just trying to get an idea. Also what would indicate to you they might be ready for such responsibility?

Maturity...ability to reliably follow rules about the activity. For example, we started letting my DD ride around the block with the rule of no stopping two years ago. We wanted to see her every few minutes. But she stopped to talk to a friend and didn't show up for way too long and we had to go looking for her. She was sent home, to her room, and lost bike riding alone for that summer as she was obviously not ready for the freedom.

 

 

.

[Parrothead]

go in the front yard without you?

5

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)?

6

 

Babysit younger sibs?

Doesn't apply. Dd will be old enough to babysit in about 2 years.

 

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?

7 or so.

[Mejane]

I think son was 10 when he stayed home alone and rode his bike with friends, and 12 when he began babysitting (at the house next door to us.)

[krisperry]

go in the front yard without you?

I'm in the country with no neighbors and a huge yard: 3 with siblings, 4-5 by themselves

In town: 5ish with siblings, 7 alone

 

 

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog

7ish with older siblings, 9ish alone

 

Stay home while I was at a shop or running a quick errand...

-7 with older siblings, 10 alone

 

Babysit younger sibs?

12/13 for quick stuff and watching ages 3+. Wouldn't leave the baby or under 3 until 15/16.

 

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?

Never lived somewhere this is possible

[spradlin02]

I'd answer your question, but I'm defending against a visit from child services.

[Lolly]

My nearly 9 year old is starting to want more freedom. While I'd love to give her more freedom and more responsibility I'm not sure.... And I can't remember what age my parents let me have certain freedoms.

 

So, what age do you let your kids...

 

go in the front yard without you?5

stay home for a short period of time with you near by (like if I took the dog for a walk around the block)?5

Babysit younger sibs?cannot remember...11 probably

Ride bikes close to home but without you right there?girls 5, boy 4 he was with his sisters.

 

I know it depend a lot on the individual child, I'm just trying to get an idea. Also what would indicate to you they might be ready for such responsibility?

 

Lindsey

DD 8 (almost 9)

DS 6

DD 3[/quote:):)