I am feeling really sorry for myself

[Nakia]

I don't know if I need some empathy or a kick in the pants. I am in a slump. I am overwhelmed. We live in a tiny 1100 square foot home. It is laid out well, with no wasted space, but it is little. We have no basement, but we do have a nice outside storage building that is pretty much Patrick's domain. As the girls get older, the house seems to get smaller. One big problem is that all the bedrooms are in the same area of the house, and I am thinking that as they get older, they might overhear things they would rather not overhear, KWIM?

 

I am great about throwing out stuff and not keeping any extra so that helps. We do live in a beautiful area with an awesome acre of land. We are able to have our dogs, cats, and goats. And our mortgage is very affordable. That is a blessing!

 

For many reasons, there is absolutely no way we will be moving anytime in the near future. As a matter of fact, this is probably our forever home. I am trying to do a little redecorating in an effort to feel better about it. Any advice, suggestions, tough love? :D

[Halcyon]

I don't know if I need some empathy or a kick in the pants. I am in a slump. I am overwhelmed. We live in a tiny 1100 square foot home. It is laid out well, with no wasted space, but it is little. We have no basement, but we do have a nice outside storage building that is pretty much Patrick's domain. As the girls get older, the house seems to get smaller. One big problem is that all the bedrooms are in the same area of the house, and I am thinking that as they get older, they might overhear things they would rather not overhear, KWIM?

 

I am great about throwing out stuff and not keeping any extra so that helps. We do live in a beautiful area with an awesome acre of land. We are able to have our dogs, cats, and goats. And our mortgage is very affordable. That is a blessing!

 

For many reasons, there is absolutely no way we will be moving anytime in the near future. As a matter of fact, this is probably our forever home. I am trying to do a little redecorating in an effort to feel better about it. Any advice, suggestions, tough love? :D

 

Hehe. We just moved from NYC where we lived in what is considered, by NYC standards, to be a HUGE apartment.

 

It was 1000 sf. :) No basement LOL. No storage. No garage. We felt blessed. Almost all of our friends were in smaller spaces. My closest friend lived in a rent-controlled apartment in the East Village with her 2 boys, her husband and a cat. The apartment was 450 sf. Yes, really. She's never going to move, I don't think.

 

Just keep purging. More stuff=more headache=more attachment=less peace. Really.

 

:grouphug:

[MelanieM]

Here's my advice... get a pad of paper and a pencil and write a list of 10 things you absolutely love about your house. Small things, big things, doesn't matter -- anything at all that you appreciate. (From your post I can see several, so this should be easy!) Repeat this process every day this week, adding 10 new things each time. Then any time you feel a bit down about the space, read through your list to shift your focus.

 

When we look at things from a place of appreciation, we are better able to find solutions to the things that aren't working for us, sometimes in ways that feel truly magical. :D

 

Have fun finding the love for your forever home! :001_wub:

[Mejane]

I've had a little house and a big house. Yes, the space is nice, but it's also more to clean and maintain. Honestly, sometimes I really miss my little house!

[LauraGB]

Can you plan an addition for some time in the future? It is fun to think about, plan, and something for the whole family to look forward to and work toward.

 

I grew up in a 900 sq ft house, no basement, lots of land. It does feel claustrophobic sometimes. :grouphug: My mom changed the furniture around every other week or so, just to have a change of scenery. And believe it or not, it helped.

[Snickerdoodle]

Not nice when you don't feel happy in your home. BTDT. :grouphug:

[Julie in CA]

As the girls get older, the house seems to get smaller. One big problem is that all the bedrooms are in the same area of the house, and I am thinking that as they get older, they might overhear things they would rather not overhear, KWIM?

 

I can so sympathize with your situation. We had 5 kids in 1100 sq.ft. for 12 years. It was pretty miserable, but a few things helped. Definitely continue with minimalism. We kept the minimum of clothing, blankets, etc, that we could get by with. I also became a master of organization and squeezing storage wherever it would fit. We had a futon-style couch, for instance, because I could fit huge rolling under-bed storage bins underneath. We also put a very nice shed in the back yard, and that was very helpful.

 

As for the privacy issue, we did learn to be quiet, lol! One thing that (I think) helped on that front was that we kept a small tv in our room. The tv noise disguised other...ahem...noises that might have been going on. :leaving:

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

Sigh. I feel for you. We have 3 BOYS (really loud, active ones) in a 1300 sq. ft. house. We plan on being here forever. We live in the country and love the location. We don't have a basement or a garage, but there is a large shop which is my dh's domain (I am soooooo thankful to have it as my husband has a ridiculous amount of computers, etc. for his work/consulting and is a crazy, unorganized person). All three boys share a room...right next to the "master bedroom." Oh, and one bathroom. I hate having one bathroom.

 

And now we have baby #4 on the way. I have no. idea. where we are going to put him/her. There isn't even room for a basinet in our bedroom.

 

The house is a disaster right now (I've been sooooooooo tired), and both my husband and I are savers/stuff people. Dh is extremely unorganized. I am in the mood to throw *everything* away. I have got to figure out a way to embrace minimalism......

 

I hope to add on to the house someday, but that won't happen anytime soon, and we may not be able to afford it or get permits. I'm certainly not counting on it.

[kalanamak]

Can you push out the master bedroom, so that you have a little sleeping area, and make the old bedroom the sitting/dressing area? I love sleeping in teeny blankwalled rooms. I also love sleeping in the cold, and love a crossbreeze when I sleep. Just a thought.

[Nestof3]

I'm with you -- our house is also 1,100 sq ft, and we have three boys. Our oldest is 20, and he has his own room, while the other two (8 and 10) share a room. The rooms are VERY small. We have a great layout as well, but small is small. We do have a detached garage, but it is full of mowers and tools and such.

 

I console myself by the fact that it is paid for. The frustrating thing is that I do believe the boys get on my nerves more because we are all so close to each other. They have no place to play in the house that doesn't end up being loud to me. Their room is so small that their Legos and Playmobil are in the family room.

 

I get frustrated quite often, but I remind myself that I really do have a lot to be thankful for, but that doesn't dismiss the fact that others have a whole lot more (LOL).

[gingersmom]

Be happy you do not have a basement.

 

If you like I will invite you over to help suck the rainwater out of my flooded basement. 3 hours so far and the end is not in sight.

 

I have actually thought of locking the basement door and pretending it does not exist.

[Nakia]

This is exactly what I needed! Some empathy and some tough love!!

 

We have considered doing on addition, but man, building is soooooo expensive!! We just cannot afford it as long as I only work 3-4 shifts per month. And that's really all I can work and continue to homeschool.

 

We have all three girls sleeping in one room (twin and a set of bunkbeds), and we use the 3rd room for the playroom. That has worked out to be the best arrangement for now.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

We have all three girls sleeping in one room (twin and a set of bunkbeds), and we use the 3rd room for the playroom. That has worked out to be the best arrangement for now.

 

This is what we've done. All 3 boys in one room with a twin bed and bunkbeds, and we're using the upstairs 'attic' room as a playroom. The walls are at an angle, making it difficult to put bunkbeds and storage furniture up there, plus it is really cold in the winter and hot in the summer.

[sarawatsonim]

I get the down in the house dumps too and have been visiting it recently. We live in a 550 sq ft apartment, no backyard no basement or storage and hardly any closets. There is only three of us plus a cat right now, so it's not necessarily the size that gets me down but the location at the moment. We live in the suburb area and I am more of a city/central person. I like being able to walk to the library or get a coffee from the shop downstairs and I miss it. We are currently on the lookout for a more central apt, but finances are our worst enemy. We also have too much stuff and need to purge. I usually go through the ikea catalogue and dream about the storage and organizational units I would love to have if we had more money. I don't really have any advice, I'm just letting you know your not alone;)

[LisaKinVA]

I feel this way all the time. There are 7 of us in our 1000 sq. ft. space, and one bathroom. There is nothing "sacred" in our house. We moved in 8 years ago for, what we thought was going to be, 2 years. HA!

 

Our family room is also our dining room, playroom, school room and office. We're all a bit cramped. The boys are in one room in bunk beds. The girls are in the other room with a full-size bed and a crib (actually, the "bed" is a futon... but it's what we have!). Toys are stored in the bedrooms.

 

This is not our "forever home." But, it's beginnig to feel like we're going to be here forever. We haven't gotten rid of a lot because we keep thinking we're going to move. :glare: Apparently, God has other plans.;)

 

Just keep doing what you're doing.

[purplebrooklyn]

1150 square foot house with 4 girls.

 

Count your blessings.

 

We saw an old TINY shack close to our house and were told that 12 children grew up in it. My oldest always reminds me it could be worse...

 

Pick one closet, cabinet, bookshelf every week and re-organize it.

 

Or you can just do what I do and scream: "Everybody stop what you are doing and get this chaos picked up NOW before I go CRAZY!!"

 

You just have to be really innovative with space.

[justamouse]

I'm currently in 1100 sqft with 8 people, one on their way home in June. My living room is the 'dorm' room. Two boys, two girls in the dorm room and the 4 yo in my bedroom. Sucks doesn't even begin to describe it. We have sold it and are closing soon, but 8 years here was tough. The only way I got through it was to remind myself to be grateful every day. There was a roof over our head, food on our table and we were not in debt. The functionals of living in that space? PURGE. Purge, purge, purge. Garage sales every year. No accumulating it. Giving toys away every fall in prep for Christmas.

 

Hang in there.

[rookie]

You could look at photos of Haiti.

 

(This is not meant in a snarky way. It is the reality check I give myself when I am down on my living conditions).

[ChristusG]

If it is your forever home, I'd definitely start trying to put away some money in order to add on to the house. Even one room or area would help out space-wise.

[alpidarkomama]

That's what we did! Four kids in one room, the other room as a play room. They're 2, 3, 4, and 6, so still small. Two in bunkbeds, one in a twin bed, and one on a "funny bed" - a pile of blankets on the floor.

 

We moved out of our 1677-sq-ft house into a 1300-sq-ft house on the other side of the country. One floor now instead of two, and no garage. We ruthlessly decluttered for a whole year while DH was job searching. I've been working hard and creatively to create space to keep our things out of sight and have everything fit comfortably. I really want to sell our whole (very pretty!) bedroom set because it's a bit too large for our room. I semi-joked with my husband about getting US a loft bed. :)

 

I'm still taking loads to Good Will - anything that is not used all the time or is VERY beloved. I have actually found it a bit liberating. I spend less time cleaning now, and I don't have to lug the vacuum cleaner up the stairs. After dinner I can set the timer for 10 minutes and we all run around like crazy people cleaning our rooms, and it mostly gets DONE. Smaller space (and warmer climate!) means lower utilities too, and fewer house repairs.

 

And, really, looking at photos of Haiti isn't a bad idea. Or really thinking about how even a 1,000-sq-ft house is much, much more than most people have, and about average in Israel, Europe, etc.

 

This is exactly what I needed! Some empathy and some tough love!!

 

We have considered doing on addition, but man, building is soooooo expensive!! We just cannot afford it as long as I only work 3-4 shifts per month. And that's really all I can work and continue to homeschool.

 

We have all three girls sleeping in one room (twin and a set of bunkbeds), and we use the 3rd room for the playroom. That has worked out to be the best arrangement for now.

[eternalknot]

One big problem is that all the bedrooms are in the same area of the house, and I am thinking that as they get older, they might overhear things they would rather not overhear, KWIM?

 

Two of my mom's cousins were conceived and born while their parents were interned in a US prison camp during WWII. Their family of 10 (later 12!) was living in a space the size of a horse stall, with only a curtain to separate the space. Suffice it to say, things were stifled on one end but still overheard on the other :D everyone survived the awkwardness, and even the more embarassing scenario of knowing when the neighbors were 'relating' on the other side of the thin wooden divider!

 

I heard my parents and it only bothered me when I had friends spending the night. Otherwise, it was just what my parents did - you know? What married couples do. I have a lot of brothers and sisters, though, so hearing it or not - we knew they were doing it LOL.

 

I like the idea of turning on some music or the tv ... and accepting where you are for what it is.

[Carol in Cal.]

Really!

 

See whether you can find a big ol dome tent at Costco that doesn't cost that much. Get a little dome tent, too, while you're at it. Or keep an eye out at garage sales.

 

You can turn the big one into a summer playhouse outside, and let the kids sleep in it as a special treat from time to time.

The little one is for when they go on expeditions to the end of the yard.

 

There is something so compelling to kids about having their own clubhouses and sleeping outside.

 

This helps with the 'noise issue' as well (wink wink). I should not tell you the other trick I have heard for that. Well, maybe just this once. You take $4.00 worth of quarters and hurl them into the yard. Then you tell the kids that they can keep the ones they find, and that you threw $5.00 out there. They would then search and search. I hear. But that would be dishonest, so perhaps it would be wrong. Oh well.

[Rosie_0801]

I'm all for the Japanese idea of having bed rolls that can be kept in the cupboard during the day. At night, they could be pulled out and put wherever is convenient. During the day, they can be stashed and the area used for lego. If I could afford them, that's what I'd do for dh and I!

 

Have a look in your library. There are some great books on how to make the best use of your space. When we get our own place I'm going to put a rack on the ceiling, attached to a pulley so dh can keep his shirts up there. At the moment they are all squashed onto a rack that is too small, and the kids keep knocking that over :glare: I also think I should make a wall hanging with pockets to keep the remote controls in.

 

Rosie

[OnTheBrink]

My best friend from high school lived in a mobile home on her parent's property! Seriously. The father was a ranch foreman, so they had a lot of property to work with. Their house was VERY tiny, so her parents got an older mobile home and put it about 10 feet from the back door of the house and that was their space. He did not connect the gas for the kitchen, but just the electricity for heat and light. IIRC, they had to use the bathroom inside the house. It worked great for them. The girls got their own space, the parents had some privacy. Maybe not the most beautiful or ideal solution, but it might work when your dd's get old enough. OH, and the mobile home was very small, too. It might have even been just a large travel trailer. Anyway, it didn't look as unappealing as it sounds. LOL

[MrsMe]

Make more of your outdoor space when you can! Get some furniture that you can remove cushions on during the seasons, or build a screened in porch!

 

As far as your bedroom, you can add insulation between your bedroom and theirs. It'll cut down the noise...alot. Get one of those garden windows for your kitchen. Those seem to add space as well as bay/bow windows in the main area. Keep heavy drapes and curtains off. Make everything light and bright!

 

Is there a wall that drives you nutty? Take it down, make it more open. Get a tough shed or a local shed company and make it into a little living room out the back.

[Heidi]

Hmm.... try chocolate. ;)

[Garga]

Haven't read the other replies yet.

 

I've been listening to some CDs about communication. Part of the CDs talked about your internal communication (to yourself.) That little voice in your head.

 

The lady on the CDs said she's been studying happy people. Happy people aren't happy because their lives are good. A large number of happy people have had really bad things happen to them.

 

They're happy because their little voice in their head tells them they're happy.

 

The good news is that you can control that little voice in your head.

 

On the CD the lady tells us to wake up in the morning and throughout the day to say, "It's going to be a good day today!" "It IS a good day today!" "I'm feeling happy today." (Even if you're not.)

 

She said you can do this secretly (because no one is hearing your thoughts) so you won't feel embarrassed and it makes a difference.

 

It's worth a shot. It's free and risk free. You could try it. (If you're just looking for ways to cope with your slump.) I've been doing this for a couple of days, and I do feel calmer when I tell myself that it's a good day today. I feel better equipped to deal with whatever is stressing me.

[MrsMe]

A white noise machine??

 

YES! We use this too. Actually, ours is a big hepa room filter.

[Luanne]

I am a single mom with just one daughter. Right now we are living in a small one bedroom apartment. We have the bedroom ... she sleeps on a mattress on the floor since there isn't really room enough for two beds in there and my dresser is in the closet. Then we have a tiny bathroom and a livingroom/dining room space. The kitchen is about 3 feet deep and only one of us fits in there at a time. Honestly, at this point, I am just glad I have a roof over our heads.