Does your spouse support hsing?

[rose_king]

My DH was not at all keen about the idea of hsing. :glare: I did it anyway. :sneaky2:

He is much better about it now, but not very involved. How do you get him more involved? I try to tell him about our day, show him their work, shame him about acting like he doesn't care. :glare: He changed jobs and works out of state all week. We would have had to take them out anyway. I love telling him I told you so...:lol: He' s a great Dad. I just would like more input from him on how things are progressing. He told me it would be my fault if we raised a bunch of dummies :001_tt2:. He said he was joking, the stinker.

[WiseOwlKnits]

My DH is totally supportive of hs'ing. I was a ps teacher before and he heard enough stories when I came home before we had kids, that it didn't take a lot of convincing when I decided I wanted to homeschool. We discuss school at dinner every night, just like we would if DD was in public school. DD is responsible for telling him what she did in each subject and he asks her questions about each one - how'd you build that, what was the hardest part, etc.

 

He also does all the science experiments with DD. Not because I don't want to do them or don't feel competent to do them, but because we both wanted him to be more involved and that was something easy he could take over since there's 1 experiment/week.

 

Now, he knows NOTHING about curricula. He can't tell you the name of the science program he and DD do experiments from. I doubt he could tell you the name of any textbook we're using for anything. And that's OK with me. He trusts me to pick what's best for our kids and sifting through it all for him would be like me trying to read the programming language he codes in without a background in it. But he can tell you what DD is learning at any given moment.

 

DH tells me all the time how thankful he is that I'm homeschooling. To get your DH to do that...I'd get him around a bunch of ps kids. ;)

[hornblower]

I cannot imagine doing this without the full support of my dh.

 

But dh is the first to say that I do all the work & he comes home and plays (or renovates the house!). Luckily his ideas of play include building backyard mortars, electricity circuits, robotics, doing algebra, playing badminton, watching art history dvd's...... so we do a lot of fun things together & we are a 'learning all the time' type of family.

 

But I do the core things, I research curricula etc & just use him as a sounding board. He trusts me to over-analyze and "nerd up" on any important topic, including homeschooling.

 

We don't really discuss our daily school work with him though - not in the way of having their work looked over or anything like that. It's more that if there was something interesting that comes up they'll tell him about it, in the same way that he'll share interesting ideas he came across during his work day.

Edited February 23, 2010 by hornblower

[snickelfritz]

But I do the core things, I research curricula etc & just use him as a sounding board. He trusts me to over-analyze and "nerd up" on any important topic, including homeschooling.

 

Um...yeah....what she said.

 

He is COMPLETELY supportive of our homeschooling, as far as, not having any doubts that we should be doing it and that they are doing well. He likes to listen to them read or do flashcards or look at a project they made. But, really, it's the kind of stuff he would do if they were in a brick-and-mortar school. He doesn't teach any of the subjects.

 

And when I go into discussion mode about how much history to do next year and whether I should start with American or ancient and the cost/benefit analysis of Sonlight vs. My Fathers World.....well....his eyes glaze over.:lol:

[rockermom]

We have not "officially" started yet, but he was completely for it even before we were married. There is never talk of any other alternative, he just knows that it will happen and that's what he wants.

[vettechmomof2]

yes, he always has.

[Parrothead]

Dh is supportive of our homeschooling, but he could care less about what we do. It does not bother me. I look at it as a sign that he trusts my judgment.

[Sahamamama]

He was completely for it even before we were married. There is never talk of any other alternative, he just knows that it will happen and that's what he wants.

 

This is us. I never have to talk my husband into anything, we are always on the same page when it comes to homeschooling. :001_wub: Now, how to properly parallel park? That's another story.....:auto:

 

He is proud of me, he trusts me, he knows I study/research/learn what I need to know to do a great job, he knows I'm organized and disciplined and "gritty" (his word), he knows I don't just see him as The Wallet who's supposed to bankroll my little school project, he knows I try to build a healthy & happy home, and he sees the results in our children. He patiently listens to me ramble on and on and on about ___________, but he does sometimes snore.... It's okay. He's tired, and then I know it's time to shut up and go to bed.

[beachrose]

Nope not at first. It all turned around to the point where last year when I was all for quitting,he kept pushing me to keep at it. Which in turn led to him helping with my teens. He doesn't always follow through and I have to nag which I HATE!!!!! He does fits and starts of things with the little one but mostly it's all me.

 

I wish he would help more. I too have the feeling, doesn't he care? It was annoying when he said he was too busy with work etc... I mean single parents have to check their child's work. That was about all I was asking for him to do ,check the teens work. I'm homeschooling 5 one with learning disabilities,I could use a little bit of help.

 

Other then homeschooling he's a great dad,seriously love that about him. He enjoys his children and they adore him. He's a great friend and love to me,so for the most part I just accept that homeschooling is mine. It's tough for me knowing I can't change it but when I dwell on it I just get bitter which is never a good thing.

[Alison in KY]

Just so you don't feel alone I'll let you know my husband wasn't for homeschooling. Five years later he does feel better about it, if done correctly. If we're having a bad day and he hears the kids haven't been working like they should he quickly reminds them that there is public school. I've now learned to keep my mouth shut :tongue_smilie:. While he isn't 100% sold on homeschooling, I look at it like a great blessing that I've been able to homeschool for 5 years now. Every new year I'm really thankful that he doesn't say anything about public school:001_smile:. His public school experience was obviously a good one and he thinks homeschooling is a good idea if done correctly, but he thinks the structure of the school setting benefits a lot of kids (not the bad stuff that goes along with it).

 

And he isn't that involved, but he'll look at papers and such when the kids show them to him...other than that he just comes home from work and hangs out with the kids...he's a very involved father and if we used public schools he'd probably be helping out with homework...but we don't have homework here.

 

Alison

[Renee in NC]

Dh is supportive of our homeschooling, but he could care less about what we do. It does not bother me. I look at it as a sign that he trusts my judgment.

 

:iagree:

 

I will say, though, that he is more relaxed than I am about it. He isn't worried about them getting a great academic experience - he just doesn't like how most kids act and wants ours to be different.

[Lizzie in Ma]

The job is hard enough just for starters.

Secondly, I would not go against his will in anything.

 

I would have begged for a provisional trial period if I had to, I was utterly convicted about homeschooling. And I know he would have granted it. It is just my belief system, I wasn't being snarky.

[ProudGrandma]

Homschooling was actually my husband's idea and when he first brought it up (when our first born was of preschool age) I totally shut him down...I had a 3 year old and a baby...and there was NO WAY I was going to homeschool...so we sent Hannah to preschool...then to Kinder...then to 1st and even to 2nd...her brother followed and went to school through part of 1st grade...then all of a sudden the homeschooling idea came back to my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it...so we pulled our kids at Christmas last year. like many of the gals here, my DH us supportive, but not overly involved. I am a teacher by trade, so when it comes to the "teacher decisions" they are all mine...he has NO CLUE!!! If I need him to help me with something, he is willing to. He has been known to quiz the kids with flashcards, spelling words...listen to them read and other similar things...he loves to visit over supper about their History or Science lesson too. So, he is "hand's off", but supportive.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Dh is supportive of our homeschooling, but he could care less about what we do. It does not bother me. I look at it as a sign that he trusts my judgment.

 

:iagree: This is my hubby, too. He will listen if I try to bounce things off of him, but I really can't rely on him to be an active participant. He shows his support by bringing home the bacon at a dissatisfying job, by attending homeschooling functions in the evening like history fairs, 4-H nights, and by taking a day off work so we, as a family, can go to a homeschooling conference.

 

The only time he has questioned the decision to homeschool was when my oldest was struggling with depression, social issues, apathy and time-management issues. He (very erroneously) thought that putting ds in high-school would help with the social, academic and organization issues. I disagreed. What came out of that decision was the realization that ds did need some other teachers than me so he could be accountable to someone else, that he needed the intellectual stimulation of other kids with similar interests. I convinced him that high school was not the answer, but that we would meet those needs in other ways ... online courses, co-ops with other families, more social interraction with friends and college classes. I also pointed out that he needed his dad more. Conflict resolved.

[Hockey Mom]

This was my Dh's idea. I was the one who didn't want to do it. But he convinced me that it was the right choice, and I'm glad he did. :)

[Melinda in VT]

My DH was not at all keen about the idea of hsing. :glare: I did it anyway. :sneaky2:

He is much better about it now, but not very involved. How do you get him more involved? I try to tell him about our day, show him their work, shame him about acting like he doesn't care. :glare: He changed jobs and works out of state all week. We would have had to take them out anyway. I love telling him I told you so...:lol: He' s a great Dad. I just would like more input from him on how things are progressing. He told me it would be my fault if we raised a bunch of dummies :001_tt2:. He said he was joking, the stinker.

 

Uhm . . .

 

Maybe I'm misreading this, but it sounds like you made a unilateral decision about your kids that goes against his wishes and now you are shaming him because he's not as enthusiastic about your decision as you think he should be? :001_huh:

 

And you "love telling him I told you so"?

 

Gee, I can't imagine why he's not a homeschooling fan . . . :tongue_smilie:

[WTMindy]

Very supportive. I wouldn't do it unless we were on the same page. He is involved on several levels. He is the Spanish teacher and he also does a little math (we were both math majors.) He also is constantly reading to the kids biographies and he is very much involved with big picture learning. He is also very involved in character development. He reads the Bible with them and helps problem solve with me how to help the kids in their weaknesses. He helps provide accountability to me. If I were to start taking random days off just because (which I don't do) he would call me on it. He pretty much lets me do my thing with the daily lessons and I choose the curriculum and do all the research and planning. I do the scope and sequence, but we have both read The Well Trained Mind and adhere to the philosophies of the book. There are a few things we don't agree on. He thinks Latin is a waste of time, and that more time spent on Spanish would be more valuable. But, we have decided to keep plugging away with both. I think we make a good team and he will often thank me for homeschooling the kids.

[Dmmetler]

DH was one of the kids for whom ps was a blessing-it was a stable situation when home wasn't stable, so it isn't easy for him to accept that maybe, just maybe, ps isn't right for DD. It has taken DD's K teacher outright saying that 1st grade isn't going to be a good fit for DD at this point because there simply isn't enough support for her academic level and she's not ready to work independently yet to make him consider it. Not because he doesn't think I can do it, but simply because of his experiences with ps being so positive.

 

One thing I've done, which reassures him (and I admit, it's comforting to me, too) is to print out the state standards, and we've gone through them. Seeing that DD already has mastered a vast percentage of the 1st grade ps curriculum was an eye opener for him, and as we've found curricula that seem like a good fit for DD, being able to go through the scope and sequence and track that, yes, this book does indeed meet those standards that, for whatever reason she doesn't know yet, is reassuring as well. So is seeing the number of home school activities and group classes available in the area and that DD will have chances to be around other children.

 

 

He also can see the benefit of being able to offset DD's schedule to match his, because right now, he's often getting home about the time she has to go to bed in order to get up for school in the morning. And he loves the idea of some of the hands on activities and getting to share them with her.

 

 

This coming year is going to be a period of growth and adjustment for all of us. I wish he were more confident, because right now I don't feel like I can express any doubt at all since he's so unsure.

[Mom-ninja.]

Um...yeah....what she said.

 

He is COMPLETELY supportive of our homeschooling, as far as, not having any doubts that we should be doing it and that they are doing well. He likes to listen to them read or do flashcards or look at a project they made. But, really, it's the kind of stuff he would do if they were in a brick-and-mortar school. He doesn't teach any of the subjects.

 

And when I go into discussion mode about how much history to do next year and whether I should start with American or ancient and the cost/benefit analysis of Sonlight vs. My Fathers World.....well....his eyes glaze over.:lol:

 

Exactly. He'll listen when the kids talk about what they've done or if they want to show him something, but that's the extent of it.

[nono]

Dh is supportive of our homeschooling, but he could care less about what we do. It does not bother me. I look at it as a sign that he trusts my judgment.

 

Yes, this is so for our home too. My job is to do the schooling.

 

We do sit, have drinks or tea and discuss curriculum choices -- I guess like we used to do when we worked together. LOL

 

And, sometimes, he'll even pinch hit teach for me. He works at home and sometimes, a conference call will unexpectedly cancel while I'm teaching. He'll pop out of his office and offer to teach so that I can go run errands. I really appreciate this, and I think it is nice for the kids too.

 

One of the things I do after each trimester (don't ask -- my brain just works that way) is write up a summary of what happened. We don't have to report to the state, so I write up my summary and email it to my MIL and my husband. It give my MIL something to talk about relative to her grandchildrens' schooling, and my husband likes to see that I'm accountable to the goals I set.

[Impish]

Uhm . . .

 

Maybe I'm misreading this, but it sounds like you made a unilateral decision about your kids that goes against his wishes and now you are shaming him because he's not as enthusiastic about your decision as you think he should be? :001_huh:

 

And you "love telling him I told you so"?

 

Gee, I can't imagine why he's not a homeschooling fan . . . :tongue_smilie:

:iagree:

Sorry, I can't imagine 'shaming' my husband about anything. He's not a child, and I don't use shaming as a discipline tool for my kids either.

 

To me, it reads as more of a marital issue than a homeschooling one.

 

My husband was and is completely supportive of our homeschooling, bragging to all his friends and co-workers about it. I can't imagine doing this without his support. Like other posters, he doesn't know the curricula we use, couldn't name the science if he was asked...but I'm the mother of his children. He knows that I love them and want the best for them that's possible, so he trusts me to find the right fit for them. He sees the results just by being with his kids, so he doesn't need anything more.

[fairfarmhand]

My dh was humoring me when we started. Now he is a huge fan. He hates schedules and loves the fact that if he wants to go in late, I' don't have to roll out and run the kids out of bed. Also, he gets home at different times each day so on days he doesn't get home till late, he still gets to spend some time with our kids, instead of kissing them on the head as they sleep. I didn't realize how much he loved our lifestyle till I considered putting all the kids in school last fall. He hated the thought!

 

As for day by day involvement, that is my department. He will help if I specifically ask him to do something, but otherwise, he leaves it up to me.

[The Girls' Mom]

Mine wasn't sure about it when I first brought it up. Then he learned a little about it, and prayed about it.

 

Now he's gone from 'we'll think about it for a while before deciding to pull them' to 'they will never attend a public school again, if we can help it'. It has become a conviction that our children should be raised and educated at home.

 

I can imagine it would be VERY hard with an unsupportive husband.

[rose_king]

The job is hard enough just for starters.

Secondly, I would not go against his will in anything.

 

I would have begged for a provisional trial period if I had to, I was utterly convicted about homeschooling. And I know he would have granted it. It is just my belief system, I wasn't being snarky.

I'm not that easily offended. ;) I actually agree with you. Normally I wouldn't go against his wishes either. I told him I was tired of being the one to deal with the school. If he wanted to deal he would be taking lots of time off work. :glare: When he said, "Just do what you want!" (Now that was snarky) I took him at his word. He didn't think I'd do it.:D

[Kissy]

Mine was not completely convinced at first. After the first year we tested and he was still iffy..the second year we tested again and when he saw the improvement over public school he was convinced. He doesn't want our younger child to ever go to public school. The first one went up to 3rd grade.

[Guest]

I'm so happy to read that so many husbands are supportive. Mine doesn't get it. He was raised in the British model that had him sent halfway across the world from colonial Kenya to boarding school in The Mother Country (England) at age eight, and from then on saw his family once twice a year, sometimes once. Homeschooling is so radically the opposite of what his cultural upbringing was all about that he can't quite get his mind around it, even after nine years. When our daughter was briefly in private school, he suddenly knew how to be that kind of dad: sharing the commute, helping with homework. He doesn't get how he can do this sort of thing with homeschooling. Since he has Asperger's Syndrome (as does my daughter), I understand this lack of comprehension and his inability to adapt. He does not question what I do; he sees our daughter's abilities and projects and sees her reading avidly. He just doesn't get it.

[rose_king]

Uhm . . .

 

Maybe I'm misreading this, but it sounds like you made a unilateral decision about your kids that goes against his wishes and now you are shaming him because he's not as enthusiastic about your decision as you think he should be? :001_huh:

 

And you "love telling him I told you so"?

 

Gee, I can't imagine why he's not a homeschooling fan . . . :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol::lol::lol:

That really does sound terrible with just written words and no inflection. My husband and I have been together since I was 16 yrs old. He is the love of my life. By shaming I mean I tell him he will hurt the kids feelings if he doesn not sound more interested in their day.

 

Now, I do enjoy telling him, "I told you so." He is now moving around with his job and we would have had to take them out anyway. :D He also tells me the same thing when he comes in from work and I'm in a bad mood because the kids fought all day. :glare: Tit for tat, I guess. :tongue_smilie:

[jenL]

When I started researching it and tossing it around as an option, Dh was hesitant; however, he was willing to learn more and give it a chance. He knows I over-research everything, so he trusted I had my facts straight. I was also a ps teacher before, and he knew from stories exactly how bad it was. He initially wasn't sure if hsing was THE answer to our concerns though.

 

We began with the notion of taking it year to year. We're in year 2, and just last night we had a conversation about how our boys aren't attending school until maybe (and only a maybe) high school. The words came out of his mouth, so I know he's 100% sold.

 

He also trusts my judgement and allows me to choose the curriculum, field trips, outside classes (art), and any other resources we need as long as I stick to my budget. I am so grateful that he supports me. It may not come in the form of academics, yet he's very generous about making sure my planning time is protected, and that I have time to myself to have a break since I can't leave the work environment.

[rose_king]

I'm so happy to read that so many husbands are supportive. Mine doesn't get it. He was raised in the British model that had him sent halfway across the world from colonial Kenya to boarding school in The Mother Country (England) at age eight, and from then on saw his family once twice a year, sometimes once. Homeschooling is so radically the opposite of what his cultural upbringing was all about that he can't quite get his mind around it, even after nine years. When our daughter was briefly in private school, he suddenly knew how to be that kind of dad: sharing the commute, helping with homework. He doesn't get how he can do this sort of thing with homeschooling. Since he has Asperger's Syndrome (as does my daughter), I understand this lack of comprehension and his inability to adapt. He does not question what I do; he sees our daughter's abilities and projects and sees her reading avidly. He just doesn't get it.

I hate that it's so hard for you. Keep plugging along. He may change his mind with more time.:001_smile:

[rose_king]

It's really great to hear so many positive things about so many husbands. :001_smile:

[kmacnchs]

my dh is 100% all in and supportive...however, we are not allowed to tell his dad that we hs :glare:

[rose_king]

:iagree:

Sorry, I can't imagine 'shaming' my husband about anything. He's not a child, and I don't use shaming as a discipline tool for my kids either.

 

To me, it reads as more of a marital issue than a homeschooling one.

 

My husband was and is completely supportive of our homeschooling, bragging to all his friends and co-workers about it. I can't imagine doing this without his support. Like other posters, he doesn't know the curricula we use, couldn't name the science if he was asked...but I'm the mother of his children. He knows that I love them and want the best for them that's possible, so he trusts me to find the right fit for them. He sees the results just by being with his kids, so he doesn't need anything more.

 

Check out my reply to Melinda in VT. It is hard to get your point across in writing. BTW my marriage is fine. We started dating when I was 16, married at 20, and going on 16yrs this month. He is the love of my life. Doesn't mean he's perfect. I thought it was okay to vent a little on here. I was really interested in finding out how many husbands were more involved. Actually, he does a little bragging to his friends now, too. It's been about 2 years. Doesn't mean he's going to admit it to me. :glare: I'm not saying he's a bad parent. Involves himself in every other way. I was just wondering how to help get him more involved with hs.

 

Well bless your heart. Good thing I'm not easily offended or that marital comment would have been considered a little judgemental.

[beezus]

My daughter's dad is an ex-spouse now, but he has supported homeschooling, even though we didn't start until after the divorce. The curriculum decisions are all up to me, because he doesn't want to deal with it, and he isn't very good at organizing and following through. I've tried to show him what we're working on in school, but he just doesn't seem that interested. At least he's not complaining about it. He does field trips and sportsy kinds of things with her, which works out okay, because I work part-time, so it gives them some together time and I don't have so many extra things to do if he covers those.

 

Kathleen

[nono]

It's really great to hear so many positive things about so many husbands. :001_smile:

 

Well, the question only asked about how he is in regards to homeschooling.... :D ;)

[HRAAB]

My dh has always been totally supportive of homeschooling, BUT he is not involved in the day to day homeschooling. He's a great dad and spends much time with his children, but when it comes to the nuts and bolts of homeschooling, I do it. That's not to say that the time he spends with the girls isn't educational, it is. Right now he is outside with two of the girls pruning fruit trees. I'm sure he explaining what to prune, what not to, and everything else they need to know about orchards. Plus having a lot of fun. So I teach from books, he teaches from the land so to speak.

[CatMomof3]

he was not at first. Now he is very supportive. Next year he is going to teach both my oldest dd and I Spanish using Rosetta Stone. I am so excited.

[rose_king]

Well, the question only asked about how he is in regards to homeschooling.... :D ;)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

I love your sense of humor. I have read other posts from you that make me giggle.

[phathui5]

My dh is and has always been completely supportive of us homeschooling. I can't say that he's really involved with the actual "schooling" part, but he's happy that the kids are home.

[rose_king]

my dh is 100% all in and supportive...however, we are not allowed to tell his dad that we hs :glare:

 

:confused: Dad must not live close. My husband's family is not at all supportive either.

[Remudamom]

It was my dh's idea. He's very supportive and helps with math.

[KrissiK]

Yes, he's almost too supportive. There are times where I'd like to be more open to private school, even if it meant we needed to sacrifice a little financially, but he's totally against that. He doesn't help out now, but he's at work when we're doing school. I'm sure he'll help out much more when we get into upper level math.