OHGrandma Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? If it matters, these 2 are sisters. What books would you recommend to a parent to give guidelines on typical development skills? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olan719 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Well, my dds are only 5, so they don't take a bath unsupervised or fold laundry (well they make halfhearted attempts :D) and put it away. But they do clean their playroom and make their beds with little supervision. I just recently got them to the point I don't have to stand over them, which is nice. :001_smile: After I "trained" them to do it correctly, they can now sort and organize their playroom by themselves. I find it funny when they ask to "organize". :lol: I sure hope that stays that way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 taking a bath - yes if they have been taught how to wash from top to toe and then last, the bottom. But I would personally be inclined to give them 10 min. playtime together with toys and then come in to supervise the washing part. laundry - no. My dd7 can't always manage the weight of a full laundry basket. If they were working together they could probably handle taking it to their room. Dd7 can handle folding things like small towels, wash clothes, and pants. She can't handle folding shirts - those darn sleeves still stump her. Things she folds are not as neat as things I fold. Yes, she can handle putting them away. I doubt she could do all 3 of those jobs at once. I would be inclined to view them as separate jobs, having them come to you for inspection between each job. cleaning room - no. If it is a mess, then she gets overwhelmed by the mess and just shuts down. If it were tidy to begin with, she could do it IF she had a check-list. She could not do it with just a verbal list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in WI Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Well, in our house of all boys: Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? Not in our house. There would be more water outside of the bath than in it! Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? Yes. My boys put all of their own clothes away, which includes hanging up church clothes. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 My 6, 2x 7 put away their own clothes, the 6/7s take showers themselves and I occasionally drop in to make sure they got their hair good. They put their clothes in the dirty clothes, they are responsible for taking care of the pets (tho I remind them, they do the actual feeding and that includes the chickens). They make their beds, clean their rooms and the 6 yo has taken a liking to vacuuming. The 7 yos will switcharoo the laundry for me, but I'm the one that sets the mahines and puts the soaps in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lighthouseacademy Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 bath- no... too easy to play laundry- yes... my 7 yr old son has been doing that since he was 5 on occasion (I usually fold though and make him put away)- My 3 yr old puts her clothes away with a little help to carry her basket up the stairs. clean room- yes. My 5 yr old is easily distracted and she can handle it... if it is really messy she needs tasks though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? Not without being followed up on and reminded. They can, eventually, do it. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? No. What books would you recommend to a parent to give guidelines on typical development skills? The "Your 1 Year Old" "Your 2 Year Old", etc series by Ilg and Ames. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I think an 8 yr old can definitely do these things. For a 6yr old, I would say NO to the unsupervised bath!!!!!! That is a safety issue. But other than that, for other tasks, it would totally depend on the child. I have an almost 10 yr old and almost 7yr old-the 7 yr old started keeping his room as neat as a pin two yrs ago w/out ever being asked, including bed made. I walk in when he's done and there is nothing to correct. But it was totally self-driven and it's part of his personality to be that way. So I think it depends on the child. I would personally think that most 6yr olds would need to be given specific tasks-that was how my older dd was at 6. I also think it depends a lot on the amount of training/teaching the parent is willing to do. I have a Waldorf friend who lets her ds5 use a paring knife (closely supervised, and he's been given the task in a broken down way to do it safely, and it's been practiced many many times together first.) I would think that a Montessori type book would give ideas to a parent on how to break down even difficult tasks into doable steps for a youngster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? Yes. I think that's reasonable. If they have huge hair - make sure they rinse well. Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? Not a chance in my house. I fold and then hand them piles. My 8 year old can take the whole pile and put it away. The 6 year old (newly minted 7 year old) gets piles - shirts - then pants - then whatever. He puts a pile up and then returns for the next item. Much easier on us all. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? Not unless you have a published checklist. Our rule is "toys in the toy box, books on the bookshelf, laundry in the hall and straighten up the bed." I think "clean your room" is very vague. If it matters, these 2 are sisters. I don't think it matters. I would make sure that you've trained the kids in each item. Really trained. A pilot doesn't solo on the first flight - so don't expect the same of your kids. :) They'll get it!! :) What books would you recommend to a parent to give guidelines on typical development skills? I think they developmentally can do most of what you want - just don't expect them to do it perfectly the first time without supervision. Just train alongside them. Do it together 15 times. Then watch them 15 times. Then slowly let them have the reigns. In a month you'll be much closer to what you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? By 'without supervision, do you mean 'without half killing each other and/or splashing water all over the floor?" Answer is, it depends. A bathtub is a rather tight space for sibs who don't play together extremely well; if they tend to bicker, separate baths will be much easier (and safer - a tub is not a good place for a squabble). Not splashing water on the floor is apparently difficult for most children. Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? Wellll, yes, if you mean 'without dressing Polly Pocket rather than folding clothes.' No, if you mean, 'without putting dad's boxers on their head or having a sock fight.' My kids fold clothes in the living room, so I can wander past and point out that it's not a two-hour job. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? This depends a little bit on training, and a whole lot on how the room is set up. Is it very obvious where things go? Do they have to open and close a lot of lids? The easiest thing is open bins on shelves - - and yes, my bins say "Barbie" and "Kapla Blocks" and so on. This also makes it much easier when friends come over. If it matters, these 2 are sisters. It matters in the sense that most 6 & 8 yr old girls are in hyper talking and giggling mode 20 hours a day, and lose focus easily. What books would you recommend to a parent to give guidelines on typical development skills? Hmmm, I don't have a good suggestion. I think it varies a LOT at these ages. I think that most kids (and mine are 9 & 11) need a fair amount of supervision and reminders for chores and daily life in general. If my kids have a good attitude and are compliant, I don't get fussed about having to keep them on task a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom23Boys Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 My 7 and 5 year olds (both boys) take a shower with their almost 3 year old brother. I sit right outside. They both do their own laundry from starting it to putting it away. They right size out their clothes in the washer, add soap, start it, then switch it to the dryer. When done, they take it to their room and fold/hang their clothes and put them up. Clean room - I have to tell them specific steps in order to meet my expectation/level of clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I have 9 and 7 year old sisters. >>>>Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision?>>>> Just barely :). They tend to make a bigger mess if together so I don't let them very often. Plus dd9 is almost too big for our tub anyway so that makes it worse. I refuse to let my 7 and 3 year old in tub together. That's an even bigger mess. :) >>>>Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing?>>>> Not here. 9 year old is just getting to the point where she is starting the washer and dryer, carrying it up the stairs. Both daughters can put away folded clothes but to ask them to fold it means that I might as well do it myself because it certainly isn't folded very well. >>>>>Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks?>>>> Part of this depends on how messy the room is. If it is moderately messy to pretty bad, they can't be told to "clean your room" because that becomes overwhelming to them. So, I will tell one to do one job and the other to do another job and then I keep adding to the list until the room is done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I have boys, 8, 6, 4. The older boys can take a bath together unsupervised. They typically don't because the 8 y.o. prefers a shower, so 6 y.o. bathes with the 4 y.o. They can put away their laundry if given a sorted stack. The 8 y.o. can fold clothes with minimal help; 6 y.o. struggles but can fold towels and dishcloths. They cannot make it through a multi-step task like laundry independently. Folding several items, sorting them, and putting them away without supervision is a challenge and they get distracted. They can clean their room and the play room pretty well. In our house this means very basic cleaning--toys off the floor into toy box, books returned to shelf, clothing to hamper or washer, shoes put away, etc. Just not together. If they work together they start giggling and roughhousing. The 8 y.o. picks up the bedroom, the 6 y.o. the play room. At 8 and 6, I still help quite a bit. It's more fun for them, I am able to offer pointers and supervision naturally, and by my example they learn to pitch in to help others. (I hope.) Plus work usually goes by more quickly and enjoyably when we work together. I don't know about a book. Hmmm....I think the general advice I'd offer is to try to make the process as natural as possible. Request and offer help with daily chores. Take the skills you would like the children to develop and break them down into small chunks of responsibility. Start with independently putting away clothes, then sorting and putting away, then helping to fold and sort before putting away and so on. Expect lots of patient parental teaching and supervision before children are able to do tasks well independently. :) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herbalgirl Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? In our house, we have the 5yr. old, almost 4 yr. old and 2 yr. old in the bath at the same time, but we're within earshot/sight of them, check in very occasionally (otherwise, water water everywhere!), AND we do the washing of them. Our 7yr. old takes a shower, but has a tendency to be in there for about 10 seconds, which doesn't exactly get the job done. :glare: So, we remind him each time to wash ALL over and take his time! Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? No. What I do here is I usually fold most of the clothes, but I put them in separate piles for each kid and have each of them (except the 2yr. old) take them to their room and put them away. We've had to have talks with the 2yr. old about "putting his clothes away", which meant to him hiding them in the closet. Now, he does better. :) Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? No way. They'd be hanging from the ceiling fan. This is definitely something that needs supervision! If it matters, these 2 are sisters. I don't think it does matter. I think it matters more about the maturity of the child, but the ages of your children are still too young to expect much without guidance or supervision. QUOTE] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? My kids aged 6, 4 and 1 can have a bath together. If the 1yo is in there I listen and check them visually very often, or I'll stay in the bathroom. If it's only the older 2, I just listen from whatever room I'm in. Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? Mine need hands on close supervision to do any laundry related tasks. The 4yo can't fold things yet, the 6yo physically can but he'd take 10 minutes to fold one thing to perfection, then get sidetracked when he gets to his room and sees something else he'd rather be doing. I do think that it's a matter of training though, and that most children can do this from a young age if the parents prioritize teaching them. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? As above, I think it's a matter of how much effort are you prepared to put into training them to do this. My kids I will ask them to make a start, and when I think they've put in some real effort I'll help them finish off. However if your daughters being able to clean a room unsupervised it important to you, no doubt you can get them to do it. Start by doing it with them and explaining each step involved (eg "First we pick up the clothes. Dirty clothes need to go in the hamper, clean ones go in your drawers. The books go into your bookcase. All your stuffed toys go in their basket" etc etc) Then you do less and less, until they can remember and do it all on their own. Once you are confident that they understand what is required (eg does the bed have to have 'hospital corners' or is it fine as long as the duvet is somewhere on the bed?) then you can require them to take responsibility for it. Also, you can set them up for success: make sure the bedroom isn't too cluttered, clear out clothing or toys they no longer use, ensure everything fits into easily accessible storage, tidy up frequently (minimum once a day) so the mess doesn't get too daunting, and don't do all of the tidying right before bed when they are tired. What books would you recommend to a parent to give guidelines on typical development skills? I would suggest that you implement your rules based on what you know your children can manage. Just because a book says that a 6yo can do xyz doesn't mean that this is appropriate for your girls. I think that a good starting point would be to explain your expectations to them and invite them to tell you how you can help them meet your expectations. They will let you know if there is something they don't know how to do. Edited October 28, 2009 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petepie2 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Concerning baths, I help my DD5 put shampoo in her hair and she rinses it out. I also soap up a washcloth for her and she will then bathe herself and rinse. Both my DS3 and DD5 have 3 things that I require that they do every morning: get dressed, brush their teeth, and make their beds. I pick out their clothes and put toothpaste on their toothbrushes (although DD5 can do that). DD5 does a decent job of making her bed. Sometimes when she rushes, her comforter is badly crooked and I'll make her fix it. Making the bed for DS3 consists of him pulling the comforter to the head of the bed, putting his pillow and sham in place, and putting any stuffed animals in front of the sham. It's hard for him to stay focused on those 3 things and he usually has to be reminded about what he's supposed to be doing. They can clean their room fairly well. I have no trouble with DD5 staying focused. DS3 always gets distracted with playing regardless of what he's supposed to be doing. I think the key to small children cleaning their room is making sure they understand where everything is supposed to go. And, of course, it helps to not let the messes get too crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OHGrandma Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thank you ALL for your input! The girls are my granddaughters, our daughter's girls. I think the girls are pretty typical, and just need more supervision, and the tasks broken into smaller pieces. But, I have to be careful what I say and I thought a book would be good. Our daughter expects more from the girls, so she's quite often upset when they don't do as she expects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? Hmm. Depends on the kids. If they know how to wash properly, and you've reminded them to wash their hair, maybe. Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? No. I have my kids fold the laundry in the living where I am present and then once it's all folded I have them take it to their rooms and put it away. I've recently discovered it's wise to check after the job is completed to see that it was done correctly. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? Not my kids. They will get sidetracked with playing. I need to pop my head in several times and remind them to clean up. A timer helps too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? Yes, if you've given instructions and pop in to give them the nod that it's time to get out, get dressed, hang up towels, etc. Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? I'd say no. Put away folded laundry, yes, but folding, hanging and putting away *without getting sidetracked* probably no. Especially for the 6-yo. Fold clothes with you and march to rooms to put away? Sure. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? No. "Clean your room" means one thing to you and probably something else to them. It might mean different things among 5 different women. I'd give specifics -- "make your beds, pick up toys, throw clothes in hamper, throw trash away. Here's a timer; I'll check on you in 10 minutes." EXPECT to find some things that aren't to your adult standards, that need additional instruction. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 In our home the kids can do all of these things at 6 and 8 if they are doing them alone. Introduce a sibling (do it together???) and all bets are off. Ha! It's not 1+1=2 kids. It's exponential for some reason. Some days they get along very well... others not so much. Some days they'll play together and get distracted from the task at hand... some days they'll argue... there are days when they can focus and work well together... BUT *I* can't predict it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Perhaps you could introduce your dd to this forum and she could ask us herself! It's always easier to take advice if you've specifically asked for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I just wanted to add to be wary of any one book. Expecting my children to live up to standards I've seen in books or friends' children has been a major source of angst for me. Study your children; determine what's reasonable for them and you. Don't expect perfection (not that you are, but I have in the past); don't expect adult standards of attention and detail and initiative. I'm all for high standards and help in the house. My own kids each have an area for which they are responsible and I still need to instruct them from time to time on details or time management. Just my .02, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 This thread has been helpful! :lurk5: I keep telling DH that he's expecting too much to ask the girls to "pick up" without specific, focused direction. Becca can wash herself, but I always come and make sure she's rinsed well. She can fold undies and simple things but is frequently distracted (and having little sis around makes it 10x worse!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? Mine could bathe without supervision, for the most part, but would have to be told when to get out. Several times. Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? Mine are 8 and 9 now and still don't do much without getting sidetracked. Setting a timer helps - if they have a time limit, they are more likely to do it without dinking around. They could probably fold their own clothes; I haven't asked them to do that yet. I would probably have them fold the clothes with me and then go put them away. Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? If you have taight them to do this, then they should be able to. If no one has ever taught them what it means to clean their room, i.e. the specific tasks this entails and what you expect the results to be, then no. If it matters, these 2 are sisters. I don't know if it matters that they are sisters, other than they are probably always together. Often if I want my girls to do things in a timely fashion, I will send them one at a time. What books would you recommend to a parent to give guidelines on typical development skills? I have a book called Mrs. Clean Jeans Housekeeping With Kids. It's been very helpful in showing me what I can expect of my kids at certain ages. The author also has a website, although I haven't looked at it much. Really, though, parents just have to be willing to spend time with their kids and teach them things, and most who have issues with what their kids won't do haven't done that (myself included). :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 My girls are 5 1/2 and 7 1/2. They bathe alone because they'd be too splashy otherwise. I help a bit with hair and make sure they've done the important bits... They don't do a great job of putting away laundry (the older one gets too distracted by looking at the 'made in' label and then finding places on the map or decides she needs to try on different outfits). They need supervision on the picking up of messy rooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thank you ALL for your input! The girls are my granddaughters, our daughter's girls. I think the girls are pretty typical, and just need more supervision, and the tasks broken into smaller pieces. But, I have to be careful what I say and I thought a book would be good. Our daughter expects more from the girls, so she's quite often upset when they don't do as she expects. I find that my 6 and 7yos can do just about anything. When they realize I'm confident in their ability, they just assume they must be able! Now, that doesn't mean they do things perfectly or without some assistance or supervision. I have to make sure the shampoo is rinsed out of their hair. I put clothes on hangers and *then tell them to put them away. I've also labeled their drawers. And I have them take shifts when cleaning their room or they'll just make a bigger mess (and more noise!) together. I honestly worry more about setting expectations that are too low, rather than too high. Probably because I have an 11yo ds who complains about having to do any little thing and insists that everything is too hard. I do believe I started him off with low expectations and now it's biting me in the butt. Now I have to work harder to build ds's confidence. My girls are much easier because they know they've successfully fed the pets even when they've spilled a little water, they've successfully dried dishes even when they've dropped a plate, and they've successfully made breakfast even when they've made some crumbs. And they almost never say "I can't"! High expectations are good. Perfection is not! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I think they can do all those things with a lot of training and reiterated supervision. Sidetracking is normal; gentle redirection is needed for years. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I think a 6 and 8yo can do those things IF they have been given the appropriate tools to do so. My 6 and 8yo's have been showering together alone since they were 3 and 5. We don't do baths after they can stand up. The cleaning the room thing is good as long as you follow up. Sometimes I have to go behind them and say, "This needs to be done" but I don't have to tell them individual steps unless it is particularly overwhelming. Yes to the laundry. It may not be perfect, but they get better with practice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StartingOver Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thank you ALL for your input! The girls are my granddaughters, our daughter's girls. I think the girls are pretty typical, and just need more supervision, and the tasks broken into smaller pieces. But, I have to be careful what I say and I thought a book would be good. Our daughter expects more from the girls, so she's quite often upset when they don't do as she expects. I am finding it very hard to be a Grandma, when issues like this crop up. I want to make life easier for my children. But I also understand that they have to learn on their own. I really try not to give unsolited advice, and expect even my solicited advice to be written off. ;-) I know I didn't agree with most of what my mother thought, for many, many years. I sympathize !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? Probably not. Not my kids anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyinva Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Last year, my 6 and 8 yos cleared the table, unloaded the dishwasher, put the dirty dishes in, and wiped the counters. This year, at 7 and 9 the 9yo washes pans and knives as well. They are perfectly capable of doing the chore, but my presence is helpful for the gentle remonders to stay focused and be kind. They do not do laundry, i am too picky about folding, but they put their own pile away. i have to be present to keep them focused for room cleanup, but they do fine if kept on track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Can a typical 6 & 8 year old take a bath(together) without supervision? I've never put mine together at that age, but to be fair the only same gender pair close enough to do it are 1 and 4 year olds. I'd let those ages bathe without supervision, individually, but together sounds like a recipe for drenched bathroom. Can they take a basket of laundry to their room and be expected to fold or hang and put away, without getting sidetracked with playing? My almost 6yo can do that, but the sidetracked part is negotiable. He'll eventually get the job done. ;) Can they be told, "clean your room", and be expected to clean it without supervision and being told to do specific cleaning tasks? *snort* Uh, no. I can tell the same almost 6yo to put all the cars away, or put all the books back on the shelf, or clean up a particular hot spot, and he'll get it done. The room as a whole? Even his big brother gets overwhelmed at the thought and prefers it to be broken down into steps. What books would you recommend to a parent to give guidelines on typical development skills? The "Your __ Year Old" books are pretty good. :) Our library carries the whole set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Yes, my 6 and 8yo sons bathe on their own, sort, fold, and put away their own laundry, and have two chores a day each. My 4 1/2yo b/g twins also fold and put away their own clothes and my DD showers on her own (no baths alone). My 4 1/2yos also have 2 simple chores per day and are expected to do them well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OHGrandma Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Perhaps you could introduce your dd to this forum and she could ask us herself! It's always easier to take advice if you've specifically asked for it. That's a great idea, but I think I'll direct her to mothering dot com. I would feel bad if she read this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemama2 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Depends on your kids. My 5 and 7 year old ds's do all those things except folding laundry. They will fold things like towels, socks and shorts while I'm folding the rest. And as far as cleaning their room etc., I give them a time limit, "I will be up in 15 min to check" never just say "go clean up"--that just ends up in playing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) I'd say "nope" and "nope" to your two questions. About the laundry issue, if I can't expect my husband to be able to fold laundry well (his "technique" drives me around the bed - clothes look like I took them out of the hamper), I certainly wouldn't expect children that young to do so. and the getting sidetracked issue? I have a 16yo, 13yo and a 9yo and they still get sidetracked. Heck, I get sidetracked at age 46. Now - a basket of clean, folded clothes should be able to be taken to the bedroom and put away with maybe a reminder or two or to keep at it. Or the kids should not do it at the same time because they "sidetrack" each other (that is what happens in my house with my 16yo and 13yo boys.) Clean your room? If they have had extensive training on what to do to clean the room - an 8yo might be expect to do so. However, some kids just get easily overwhelmed. I have checklists for my kids and for myself and we still get overwhelmed. Maybe we are just incompetent;). I don't think books are needed. I think supervision and clear and consistent directions are what is needed. Checklists are also very helpful. ETA: I read your responses and I think it sounds like lazy parenting to me. Some kids will be able to to those things and some won't. But a good parent will know what the kids are capable of, based upon what they have shown thus far and adjust accordingly. My dd is more able to finish instructions as long as she does not end up in her very cluttered room, full of distractions. My oldest can do lots of things, but is such a dreamer, that he can get easily distracted, especially if there is reading material around. Ds13 has finally mastered his sequential processing issues (before, we could not tell him to go upstairs to get his shoes without him forgetting why he went upstairs) and he seems to be more responsible. Edited October 28, 2009 by dirty ethel rackham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caribbean Queen Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thank you ALL for your input! The girls are my granddaughters, our daughter's girls. I think the girls are pretty typical, and just need more supervision, and the tasks broken into smaller pieces. But, I have to be careful what I say and I thought a book would be good. Our daughter expects more from the girls, so she's quite often upset when they don't do as she expects. Children can do those things but they must be taught, and getting mad at them is not the way to teach them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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