opinions re: nut allergy and homeschool groups

[sbgrace]

If a child is anaphylactic to nuts, is it pointless and/or off-putting to mention it to homeschooling groups when there will be food? Specifically, is it in bad form to ask people not to serve or eat nuts or peanuts at events with my child?

 

I don't mind bringing my own things for my son to eat. In fact given the circumstances I prefer it. However, I did get worried at the last event when kids were eating peanut butter and then playing on the equipment (they did not know of my son's ana. reaction which was very new). I don't know people well yet and I worry about how it is going to go over to mention this issue?

[Caitilin]

I wouldn't be and am not offended when the parents of the peanut-allergic child in our HS group mention it and request not to have peanut-containing foods served. And I don't think anyone else in the co-op is either. HTH!:grouphug:

[gardening momma]

I would like to hear if a child in a group we're in has a nut allergy. I heard once about a child who held hands with another child who had eaten peanut butter, and child #1 had a bad reaction. Keeping that in mind, I try not to let my kids eat peanut butter or nuts at home before we go somewhere, but it would be nice if I knew for sure if I really need to do that. If no one in our group has a nut allergy, I'd like to know it's ok for my kids to have nut products before an event or at the event.

 

ETA: I say try because sometimes I do let them, since I do not know of any children within our circle of acquaintances who has a nut allergy. They may, but I haven't heard of it. I'd rather know.

[Pink Fairy]

Please do mention it! At our last meeting we had a mom accidently put Honey Nut Cheerios (usually it's regular Cheerios) in the community snack dispenser, and when I found out I had no idea if there were kids eating from it that have nut allergies (there weren't). I ran around trying to find out, and I realized that it's the sort of information we really need to have IN ADVANCE.

 

Anyone that's annoyed needs a reality check, and shouldn't be taken into consideration.

[christielee7278]

I think it's important to let them know, and I really think most groups are very supportive. My nephews can't even be touched by a hand that held nuts. Very important that people in the group know. At the very least, they'll know to wash their hands well before playing.

[LauraGB]

Don't fret about it one bit - and make it very clear to everyone your son will have contact with!

 

We belong to one hs group that makes it abundantly clear (nut allergies are a very big deal!), so everyone knows not to even eat peanut butter before an event not change thier clothes first. Ds used to participate in state wide chess tournaments...the same thing was made clear in the tournament form. It was a good thing, because I would have sent pea soup with him in a thermos for lunch on more than one occasion, since it is a fav of ds's. The child for whom this letter was sent out couldn't even handle the peas in the soup, much less peanut butter (ds's other fav). And that kid was AWESOME at chess! To deprive him of the opportunity to play because other kids liked peanut butter would have been awful.

 

Please let everyone know so you child can participate in things!

[caitlinsmom]

I cant speak for a homeschool group specifically but here are my thoughts. I just started a girl scout troop, right on the very first page in bold letters I asked if any of the girls have an allergy. I dont care if it peanuts, milk, or sugar. If a parent lets me know then I will not be serving anything of the sort to that child or anyone else at those meetings! If you dont let them know they cant be prepared in case anything ever happened.

 

Clue them in and make sure they understand that it isnt you just being "weird" about your kids diet.

[Harriet Vane]

IMO anaphylactic reactions get special consideration. Yes, please mention it, and feel free to repeat it. No one wants a child to suffer and no one wants to be responsible for another person's death. They'd much rather be reminded of the danger so they can exercise appropriate caution.

[Corraleno]

Please do mention it! ...

Anyone that's annoyed needs a reality check, and shouldn't be taken into consideration.

:iagree:

 

Jackie

[QueenCat]

IMO anaphylactic reactions get special consideration. Yes, please mention it, and feel free to repeat it. No one wants a child to suffer and no one wants to be responsible for another person's death. They'd much rather be reminded of the danger so they can exercise appropriate caution.

:iagree: You can't keep everything away that someone has a sensitivity to but anaphlyactic reactions are way different! Death can be the result. Our tutorial does not allow nut products of any kind for this reason.

[newlifemom]

I would want to know how serious it is. Our co-op eats lunch after the morning session as a group. Everyone brings their own. I know girl has a peanut allergy and thus, even though others do, I will not bring pb&j. However, and correct me if I am wrong Carrie if my kids ate a brownie that may contain nuts b/c it was processed in a plant with nuts that would be ok. She couldn't eat it, but we are not putting her at risk. KWIM? There is such a vast level of reactions and such that I would want to know if the slightest hint of a nut would cause an epi needed reaction or if it is just that they cannot eat them themselves.

 

Wow, that was wordy and long and quite frankly convoluted. I hope someone out there understands it. :D

[Daisy]

They mention it in our group. No one wants a child to be harmed. Some of the children in our group have such horrible allergies they can't even be around another child is who eating a PB&J sandwich.

 

Oh, and our church also has signs up in every room stating that no peanut products are allowed in the church so there much be several families with severe peanut allergies.

[MariannNOVA]

My ds' best friend has an anaphylactic peanut allergy -- I have learned how to use an EPI-pen when he has been in my vehicle for field trips, and at our house for playdates, etc. In fact, he rode in my Hummer b/c his mom was able to be positive that I had cleaned the inside of it meticulously as my son is a huge fan of peanut butter.

 

When we have birthday parties (and typically they are not at my house), beforehand I clean off every inch of the tables and chairs in the 'party room' so there is no problem for this little boy. I order pizza and cake only from where his mom says to - I have no difficulty accomodating him or his mom.

 

When my kids were in private school (last year), I vounteered on Monday mornings to wipe down the cafeteria table tops and table legs and chairs with this little boy's mom as they were used on Sunday's for Sunday School and we didn't know if anyone would have been eating peanuts or peanut products.

 

In my experience, folks will be more than happy to help. Use this opportunity to educate those who want to know more and to give yourself peace of mind that your little boy is in a safe environment.

[mirth]

Yes, please discuss it w/ the group. You also might ask about any projects/lessons that involve food items such as nuts, nut butters, beans, seeds, oils, spices, or extracts.

[Blessedfamily]

I..... However, and correct me if I am wrong Carrie if my kids ate a brownie that may contain nuts b/c it was processed in a plant with nuts that would be ok. She couldn't eat it, but we are not putting her at risk. KWIM? There is such a vast level of reactions and such that I would want to know if the slightest hint of a nut would cause an epi needed reaction or if it is just that they cannot eat them themselves.

 

Wow, that was wordy and long and quite frankly convoluted. I hope someone out there understands it. :D

 

This is just what I don't understand. People who are severely allergic have to go to levels other people don't know. So, if your child is that allergic to peanut butter, would you let him/her eat other people's homemade snacks anyway? What if some of the ingredients were cross-contaminated, or processed in a plant or on equipment use for nuts?

 

My dd had a soy allergy as a toddler. Soy has so many forms that other people just wouldn't know. I always brought snacks from home for her.

 

I'm just thinking I'd have to cross my fingers everytime there was food to share, even if the parents were trying.

[Tidbits of Learning]

Definitely say something. My ds is allergic to corn and milk which thankfully isn't contact allergy, but I let them all know ahead of time and ds will tell you right off the bat that he is allergic and knows how to read labels at 6.

I would recommend teaching this first and foremost to your child. Teach them to speak up and say they are allergic and get a medical id bracelet. I didn't have an opportunity before our first co-op meeting to speak with everyone he would come into contact with about his allergies. By the time I ran around telling the mom's they were already saying he had told them when snack time occured. He had his own snack box and knew to tell them he could only eat from it.

I would really recommend telling everyone and sending out a written note as well. I am glad that I taught my ds at 4 how to read milk and corn on labels(he couldn't read anything else) and to speak up right away and tell any adult that he is allergic to corn and milk if I am not there for any reason. It really helps the child to be proactive in their allergy as well.

Also, do you have an epi-pen on him at all times in the group? My son keeps one in the front zipper of his backpack at all times. A good thing to do with expired epi-pens is to teach relatives and other adult caregivers how to properly use an epi-pen on an orange. It will help them feel more comfortable with the allergy and not afraid if there is a reaction and they need to use the epi-pen.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

My ds is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, shellfish, and mango. I would mention it to the group.

For my ds I always bring food for him where ever we go. I check all labels and do not allow him to eat food home-made by someone else becuase of the severity of the allergy. We always have 2 epi-pens with us along with melt-a-way benadryl strips on our person. If your child is asthmatic, you should also carry any prescribed inhalers as well. Also, just for the record for any WTM readers, all peanut and tree nut allergies are serious. I am an RN who had to learn a lot about this topic. A wonderful web site to check out is:

 

http://www.foodallergy.org/

 

Unfortunately, you will find in general that some may react negatively to food allergies and any precautions for them. For the most part we have been very fortunate:)

 

PM me if you have any questions.

[lionfamily1999]

By all means mention it! There might be a few hard headed individuals that choose to ignore the life threatening nature of it, goodness knows there's one in every crowd, but for the most part I am sure that they will be glad to accomodate you.

 

Alternately, imagine the grief and anger should something happen, because they were kept ignorant of the allergy. Rather than being unable to forgive themselves, they'd probably have a very difficult time forgiving you for exposing their children and themselves unwittingly to such a situation. It's selfish, but I imagine, true.

[SonshineLearner]

Hi There,

 

Many people are resentful about it. I'd offer to bring sun butter, which is something that tastes like peanut butter... but unless sunflowers are a problem... won't make your son sick. (People are always like... my kids only eat peanut butter. If their parents don't tell them the SunButter is different... they usually don't realize it:-)

I always say "Peanut Butter to my child is like Raid to yours; it's a poison to her." Hope that's a basically fair analogy. When they about it being something that's a poison... something that could kill them...

Since she's 11, I've been able to be looser about it... but when she was little... it was just SO scary!

For us, she knows not to eat things without asking me... I do explain to people the thing about looking at packages... You have to be vigilant. Pepperidge fish are ok for her... this other kind of cheese cracker that is shaped like a whale... is not...

 

Good Luck!!

Carrie:-)

[Audrey]

If a child is anaphylactic to nuts, is it pointless and/or off-putting to mention it to homeschooling groups when there will be food? Specifically, is it in bad form to ask people not to serve or eat nuts or peanuts at events with my child?

 

I don't mind bringing my own things for my son to eat. In fact given the circumstances I prefer it. However, I did get worried at the last event when kids were eating peanut butter and then playing on the equipment (they did not know of my son's ana. reaction which was very new). I don't know people well yet and I worry about how it is going to go over to mention this issue?

 

 

lots of kids seem to have this allergy these days. If it were me, I would probably ask the leader of the group if they already had any nut-free guidelines they followed. They probably do have something already. If not, or if their guidelines aren't enough for your child, then would be a good time to ask about amending the guidelines (or creating some if there aren't any).

[SonshineLearner]

I would want to know how serious it is. Our co-op eats lunch after the morning session as a group. Everyone brings their own. I know girl has a peanut allergy and thus, even though others do, I will not bring pb&j. However, and correct me if I am wrong Carrie if my kids ate a brownie that may contain nuts b/c it was processed in a plant with nuts that would be ok. She couldn't eat it, but we are not putting her at risk. KWIM? There is such a vast level of reactions and such that I would want to know if the slightest hint of a nut would cause an epi needed reaction or if it is just that they cannot eat them themselves.

 

Wow, that was wordy and long and quite frankly convoluted. I hope someone out there understands it. :D

 

Straight peanut butter is what I'm most worried about... and I do ask that kids wash their hands after lunch, if I think of it..

 

Carrie:-)

[mirth]

So, if your child is that allergic to peanut butter, would you let him/her eat other people's homemade snacks anyway?

 

No.

 

We regard homemade baked goods from a kitchen where PB or peanuts are present in any sense as especially high-risk. This is one reason the "Everyone bring snacks that accommodate my preferences" philosophy cannot be promoted by or within many peanut-allergic families, though some may long for it. Consumption of snacks of questionable origin is simply too unimportant for the risk involved.

 

Missing out on snacks we see but can't have is a part of life. I usually have some sort of substitute. If this is the worst thing my kids ever have to say about childhood, it's fine.

Edited October 24, 2009 by mirth

[SonshineLearner]

No.

 

We regard homemade baked goods from a kitchen where PB or peanuts are present in any sense as especially high-risk. This is one reason the "Everyone bring snacks that accommodate my preferences" philosophy cannot be promoted by or within many peanut-allergic families, though we may long for it. Consumption of snacks of questionable origin is basically too unimportant for the risk involved.

 

I am careful about what she eats. I just am not as concerned with exactly the same things as when we first started the journey. I do try very hard to make sure that I only allow safe foods..

 

Carrie

[Tidbits of Learning]

I've never had any one react badly when I mention my son's allergies. He is in cub scouts this year and co-op. Most are glad to know his allergies and wouldn't want to inadvertantly hurt him.

I have 4 kids and 3 of them have epi-pens. It is a little difficult at first knowing how to broach the topic and what to say, but it gets easier the more you come to live with the allergy.

When we first got the epi-pens, I was awkward and didn't know how to mention it to everyone besides family. I was scared as well. Now it is 2nd nature to double check for an epi-pen in the purse, one in the diaper bag, one in the bookbag, and the dye free benedryl. I don't hesitate to say don't feed him anything without me reading the label first. I do this nicely of course. I was extremely nervous about how others would perceive my son and whether he would be seen as different or whether they would resent accomodating his allergy.

I have never had any bad reactions to my son's allergies or anyone want to exclude him because of the allergies. I do bring food for him in any of these settings.

Having 2 children with insect sting allergies has helped me see that some things are out of my control. I can't avoid all bees, wasps, ants...out there in the world or know when they may come out of nowhere, but I can be prepared. All that you can do is inform your group of the allergy and be prepared.

[RanchGirl]

I would speak to the leadership and find out what the policy is. It may prompt them to start a policy, which they really should for safety and liability reasons. You might want to point out what the policy is at X, Y, and Z groups/schools/etc. to make it very easy for them. If that doesn't work, then I would speak to the other moms directly and request that they do not send peanut butter snacks with their children.

[chaik76]

Currently there is a no-nut policy in our homeschool co-op; but when I first began there wasn't. One mom has a child who can die from peanut dust...so she let everyone know, and she kindly asked anyone who had eaten peanut butter to wash their hands and faces, and brush their teeth (she brought wet wipes and extra toothbrushes, etc.). I think it started everyone at first. At any rate it kept him safe, and there's now a no nut policy.

 

However, I would probably tell the group leader and see how she/he wants to deal with it. While you want to be sensitive...you also don't want to put your child in a dangerous situation.

[chaik76]

No.

 

We regard homemade baked goods from a kitchen where PB or peanuts are present in any sense as especially high-risk. This is one reason the "Everyone bring snacks that accommodate my preferences" philosophy cannot be promoted by or within many peanut-allergic families, though some may long for it. Consumption of snacks of questionable origin is simply too unimportant for the risk involved.

 

Missing out on snacks we see but can't have is a part of life. I usually have some sort of substitute. If this is the worst thing my kids ever have to say about childhood, it's fine.

Just wanted to nod yes here...I do not have a peanut or tree-nut allergic child, but a friend of mine does. She brings food for her son everywhere...even having peanut butter in the house is a danger to him. Just a miniscule amount could cause a severe reaction or death, so they do not eat out anywhere they can't bring his food, and bring all snacks and all meals for him.

[sbgrace]

I so appreciate all the input here. I am feeling more confident now about approaching the group leader/group. I think it is just going to take some getting used to so it doesn't seem so awkward to me.

 

Fortunately, he's almost six and my cautious kid. He knows not to eat anything unless I've approved it. I'm glad for that. I will not let him eat any baked goods at all unless I prepared them myself. Even products not labeled can be processed on shared equipment with nuts. The cross contamination risk that just isn't worth it. However, others eating products that don't actually contain nuts (but might be on shared equipment) don't worry me. We've got epis now. I just really hope to never use them.

 

All of it is taking some getting used to.

[Mom0012]

My son is severely allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish and he used to be just as allergic to eggs and wheat. He is also gluten free.

 

I tell people about his allergies so that they are aware, but I do not expect anyone else to follow his food restrictions. Unless I had a child that was going to have a severe reaction from touching a tiny amount of the food (which is actually pretty rare http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12847496?dopt=Abstract), I would never consider asking others to make special accommodations for us.

 

In as many group activities that we've been in from preschool on up to coop and sunday school, we've never had a problem. I would never let my son eat something someone else has baked anyway unless they had a very thorough understanding of his allergies and I knew them well, so there would be no point in asking people to bring special food he could eat. I have always just been very clear that he cannot eat the food.

 

Lisa

 

ETA: I will say that when he was a toddler, it was more stressful for me to be around other people eating food he was allergic to because he didn't know not to eat the food and he was a kid who put everything in his mouth. Also, I didn't understand that he would only get a hive or two if someone touched him with something he was allergic to (which happened all the time). I would see the hives and freak out thinking he was going to go into anaphylactic shock. Once I had a better understanding of his allergies and he was old enough to understand not to eat things without asking, things became much easier.

Edited October 24, 2009 by LisaTheresa

[rafiki]

.

[Blessedfamily]

Just wanted to nod yes here...I do not have a peanut or tree-nut allergic child, but a friend of mine does. She brings food for her son everywhere...even having peanut butter in the house is a danger to him. Just a miniscule amount could cause a severe reaction or death, so they do not eat out anywhere they can't bring his food, and bring all snacks and all meals for him.

 

No.

 

We regard homemade baked goods from a kitchen where PB or peanuts are present in any sense as especially high-risk. This is one reason the "Everyone bring snacks that accommodate my preferences" philosophy cannot be promoted by or within many peanut-allergic families, though some may long for it. Consumption of snacks of questionable origin is simply too unimportant for the risk involved.

 

Missing out on snacks we see but can't have is a part of life. I usually have some sort of substitute. If this is the worst thing my kids ever have to say about childhood, it's fine.

 

That's what I was thinking. What made me realize how serious cross contamination is, was speaking with a manager at Panera. They sell PBJ sandwhiches for kids.

 

He told me at their store someone is seriously trained to be charge of PBJ. Something is laid down before it's made in only one area, the knife that touched it is immediately removed from use to be cleaned, and the area is immeditely cleaned (I don't know what they use).

 

They take peanut butter seriously, but still provide it because so many parents see it as a good protein.

[ConnieB]

Considering that your child's life is in danger if those PB playing children share toys with him, as a fellow mom, I would most definitely want to know! I can't imagine how I would feel if my sticky finger child caused harm to yours simply because I wasn't made aware to not bring the PB&J.

 

I think it's important that you approach it correctly. I've seen parents get very pushy about it and I'm sure that would be what turns people off. I think in your case I would approach the leaders of the group first and ask for their advice (people LOVE to be asked for help rather than told what to do, lol). Tell them of your child's life threatening allergy and ask if there is an easy way to make people aware and request that peanut items not come to park day? "I hate to impose, but it's so dangerous for my son, you understand don't you?" Approach them humbly and with it as a request not a requirement...you know, the catch more flies with honey approach, lol.

 

Now...if that approach garners negative reactions then you'll have to decide if it's worth staying in that group. I realize I may be very fortunate, but my area has quite a few groups nearby so if I got a negative reaction to something so important, I'd probably move on to another group.

 

Even with that request, I would still be on the lookout and not let my guard down. New members, or those that didn't hear or remember the request may still bring offending foods. But, awareness is the first step! Obviously you'll not want to be eating items of unknown origin, and will bring your own food for your child, but not having nuts and PB on their hands while they play can go a long way towards being safer for your child.

 

It's slightly different because it's not quite as life threatening, but we have several children in our group that are gluten intolerant and others have various allergies (though not nuts). Because the mom's have made us aware, we have been able to be clear about the foods that are brought to potlucks and such. We have a policy now to list the recipe so that everyone knows what is in it....and because we often are exchanging recipes after a pot luck anyway, this saves time. I'm not saying that your group needs to do this, just saying that once a group is aware they often will rally around the need. At least the good groups will!

Edited October 24, 2009 by ConnieB

[AuntPol]

I would want to know. Peanut butter is the main source of protein for my daughter and she really needs a lot of protein (and we have yet been able to get her to eat any thing else but yogurt and sometimes cheese). Peanut butter sandwiches is the easist thing for me to fix on those days we are going to be out for a while because it doesn't require a cooler, doesn't need to be kept hot, and is one of few things that everyone in family will eat. While I would not be thrilled at having to work something else out, I would never willingly endanger another child. I always ask before potluck events if anyone with peanut allergies will be attending and what level of tolerance (some can have no peanuts in the room, some are fine if just labeled so person can skip -such as I need for anything made with shellfish or cooked in same oil as shellfish, etc.). I also ask people who come over for dinner, parties, etc at our house if there any allergies or pickiness issues that I need to know about in advance (and with kids, I always ask if there are family rules that I need to enforce. My rule is if you can't at your house, you can't at mine either).

 

So yes I would want to know because unless I know beforehand, you can almost guarantee that we will have some form of peanuts or peanut butter with us.

[Mommyof4ks]

I would certainly mention it to them and carry wipes to clean anything your son touches just in case someone forgets. Many people homeschool because their kids have special needs like this, so most of us understand and try to help or at least that has been my experience. My son is immuno-compromised and only a few parents have blown me off and brought sick kids, so talking about it has probably kept him healthy many times. I would venture to say that will be true for you once everyone knows what is going on with your son.

[Ferdie]

Please mention it.

 

We have a child in our K class with nut allergies. Our co-op sent email to all parents with kids in that program to avoid nut items in their snacks. They also put a "Nut free zone" sign on the K area to remind the parents of his allergy on a weekly basis. They also requested that all teachers ithat go into his classroom wash their hands before they enter the room.

 

 

You leadership needs to know that information so they can ensure a safe environment for your child.

[Supertechmom]

We don't ban food allergy items as we have so many in our group allergic to different foods that it would be hard for anyone to bring anything. What we have initiated are the following rules:

 

1) all food is contained in one area. No one is allowed outside this area with anything.

2) Said area is covered with a plastic cloth - those cheapy $1.00 things that we can then just fold up and toss in the trash. And then we wipe down the table and chairs.

3) everyone must wash their hands/arms and faces after eating and are not allowed to leave the area (bathroom is right outside the zone) until they have done so. When they stand up for the table, we do a visual and try to get any food off of clothes.

 

I know this isn't perfect but it's the best we can do given the fact that our other choice is to not allow any food at all. We also know who had which allergy and make sure they aren't sitting next to someone with food that contains that allergen and don't allow any snack sharing at all. All the moms are there as well so we have plenty of people to watch and help keep it managed. We've done a lot of education to the non allergy people on how easy it is too make a kid sick and how little it takes so they understand. Everyone has cooperated well and has been understanding and vigilant about making sure everyone is cleaned, wiped down, and don't touch stuff until they are. Most people don't bring stuff that causes the worst reactions anymore but there are still so many things that cause milder reactions like hives and stomach issues.

Edited October 24, 2009 by servin

[QueenCat]

Peanut allergies are often airborne, and being in the same room can be an issue. There doesn't have to be contact for there to be a problem. A friend of mine lost her son when he came in contact with pb on a basketball that someone who'd just eaten a pb sandwich played with. He was a teenager when he died. This was at their home but the other kid had eaten right before coming over, and still had residue on his hands. No one should ever take a peanut allergy lightly.

[FO4UR]

Mention it!

 

I also have a nut-allergic ds. It's just not worth risking his life to avoid hurting someone's feelings. period.