Moms & bikinis (slight rant, and a LITTLE tmi)

[Ginevra]

Bikinis are not akin to underwear, as they are in keeping with the appropriate atire for pools and beaches. Now, if someone were to wear their bikini to the grocery store or to church, that would obviously be quite another matter, just as wearing your underwear somewhere besides under would be strange.

[Tammy]

Well said! I agree!

[PinkInTheBlue]

You know every year when this topic comes up (like it does every year) I always have to remind myself to not be insulted. I appreciate your ability to have your own opinion and I'm aware that to come to your own opinion you need to feel it's the "right thing". However, can you keep in mind that I feel my opinion is the "right thing" as well? Just because I am small and my body did handle pregnancy well, doesn't mean I'm immoral or damaging my children for life because I wear a bikini?

 

I'm not wearing a bikini for attention. I'm not wearing a bikini because I want everyone to look at my body. If you're wearing a swimsuit of any kind, the same thing could be said for you. If it's remotely skintight, your body is being seen. Whether it's the outline or the reality, it's there for all to see.

 

This is almost all about the country most of us on here live in. If you live in North America, then your ideals of modesty are skewed from much of the rest of the world. It's only immodest because we don't see it much here. If you lived in much of Europe or much else of the world seeing the human body wouldn't mean what it does. Something is only as taboo as the culture you put it in. A topless, bikini, speedo, or even nude body just isn't that big of a deal elsewhere. Your perspective is swayed by your atmosphere.

 

However, I would appreciate that you think on how you say things. You calling me immodest or a bad mother because I wear bikinis is beyond rude. It's offensive and assumptive.

 

P.S. looking at the OP's post count, I realize she probably woudn't have been here for last year's version of this post. :)

 

P.P.S. I have playing with the toddler bikinis and lounging with only my hubby bikinis. I'm not falling out while splashing and playing.

[LibraryLover]

I guess I would be the gal who makes the majority of you lose your lunch. I'm a big woman who loves to swim when I have the time. Oh, and those varicose veins-bring 'em on baby.

 

I go to the pool, shove my bookends and all into a size 16 polyester swimsuit (no bikini, or little skirty thing), put on cap and the goggles whose marks won't leave my face for four hours (I'm over 40, are you all green yet?) and I get in the water and lap swim. Now I do have to "parade" past the 16-21 year-old male lifeguards, most of whom I know from swim team and as friends of my older kids. They must have terrible mothers because instead of averting their eyes, I usually hear, "Hey Mrs. B., good to see (he doesn't really mean that, right?) you, you missed the last two days." Rats.

 

Those old men in Speedos? Every summer, my dh and I make sure we are available to run electronic timing for the Masters meets. I love, positivly love watching those "old" men and women in Speedos race. I'm not looking at their suits thinking "suitable" Christian thoughts like, "How obscene and immoral." I'm thinking that for that 65-year-old man to have a 6-pack it takes incredible self-discipline and hard work. The 50-year-old woman with the suit up her backside who just broke a world record- I am in tears at her beauty and strength. These "old", "ugly", "less-than-perfect" people are amazing. They come in all shapes and sizes and they wear swimsuits in public.

 

I'm sorry if I offend you morally and asthetically. I am still going to the pool today. Only instead of making a quick, embarrassed, entrance and exit into the pool I am going to hold my head high. I am going to swim as I always do, for my health, for my family, for my sense of connection and peace, and because today, I'm really pi**ed off.

 

 

Woot woot! :party::cheers2::cool::thumbup1: Smilies for you! :iagree:

[elizabeth]

Swimmer Mom ,Absolutely wonderful post!!! Thank you.

Edited July 6, 2009 by elizabeth
unclear to whom I was responding

[lionfamily1999]

Shew, I saw this earlier and wondered if I was the only one that is so sick and tired of people dictating what others should wear. Hey, big girls in bikinis, NICE TAN.

 

That is all.

[Kathy in MD]

[quote name=Highereducation;1053653......40 year old woman in a bikini - why? And this has nothing to do with Europe. In Europe' date=' women age gracefully. They're secure in themselves. It's a different culture. In America, women are dragged kicking and screaming away from being 20. Being called old is the worst insult ever. Instead of embracing their wisdom and accepting a new phase in their life, they try to hang onto every remaining shred of youth.

 

......[/quote]

 

And in Europe, older women appear topless and even nude on the beach. But here women more modestly dressed are criticised for being immodest. How can women develop that confidence with their bodies and their age if everyone is so willing tear them down?

 

And this concern with modesty can even affect health adversely. We alway think of eating disorders but modisty has also adversely affected women with "female troubles", to quote my grandmother. When I had breast cancer almost 20 years ago, it was amazing the way women came out of the woodwork to *whisper* about their dirty secrete. They too had had breast cancer. Doctors not long before that would advise their patients not to speak of it. In our country, br**sts were so s*xuallized that this type of cancer was to something to be ashamed of. And that lack of confidence can adversely affect marriages and the offsprings' health.

 

And more modist cultures have even more trouble with women going for medical help. We think that's absurd, but we still have our own version of those hang ups.

 

Yet at that time I was undergoing treatment, I read of an American seeing a European woman strolling down the beach topless, with only one br**st. There br**st cancer was not something to be ashamed of. Modesty is often taken too far, to the point that it can actually harm people.

[Corraleno]

In our culture, bikini = sex.

To some people maybe "bikini = sex" but to many others it just equals "cute bathing suit." While some men may feel that their wives' bodies "belong" to them, others may be perfectly happy (even proud) that their wives wear bikinis at the beach or pool. Topless sunbathing, and even nudity, are very common on European beaches, and (amazingly!!!) men are able to walk around acting perfectly normal without having nonstop stiffies. There is nothing inherently "dirty" about a naked human body -- the "dirty" part is in the mind of the beholder, not the body of the beholdee (is that a word? LOL).

 

And if they want to parade around like that in public - yes, public - then they're fair game for those of us who would rather not have to look at them.

Hmmm, let's look at this in a different context: "If those Amish people want to parade around like that in public, in those weird clothes, then they're fair game for those of us who would rather not look at them." Or how about "If those handicapped people want to parade around like that in public then they're fair game for those who would rather not look at them." If you don't want to look to something, you can always look away.

 

It's not snark. It's opinion. Does anyone here honestly think that the majority of these women look good? Because the truth is, they don't.

Why should it matter to women whether people they've never met think they look good or not??? How would you feel if your daughter was at the pool in a very conservative outfit, and you heard others mocking her and saying she looked ridiculous? Would that be "just opinion" or would you consider it snark if it was directed at you or your loved ones?

 

I truly don't understand why some people care so much about what OTHER people wear, or how many tattoos they have, or how many fat rolls or wrinkles. :confused:

 

Jackie

[elegantlion]

You know every year when this topic comes up (like it does every year) I always have to remind myself to not be insulted. I appreciate your ability to have your own opinion and I'm aware that to come to your own opinion you need to feel it's the "right thing". However, can you keep in mind that I feel my opinion is the "right thing" as well? Just because I am small and my body did handle pregnancy well, doesn't mean I'm immoral or damaging my children for life because I wear a bikini?

 

I'm not wearing a bikini for attention. I'm not wearing a bikini because I want everyone to look at my body. If you're wearing a swimsuit of any kind, the same thing could be said for you. If it's remotely skintight, your body is being seen. Whether it's the outline or the reality, it's there for all to see.

 

This is almost all about the country most of us on here live in. If you live in North America, then your ideals of modesty are skewed from much of the rest of the world. It's only immodest because we don't see it much here. If you lived in much of Europe or much else of the world seeing the human body wouldn't mean what it does. Something is only as taboo as the culture you put it in. A topless, bikini, speedo, or even nude body just isn't that big of a deal elsewhere. Your perspective is swayed by your atmosphere.

 

However, I would appreciate that you think on how you say things. You calling me immodest or a bad mother because I wear bikinis is beyond rude. It's offensive and assumptive.

 

P.S. looking at the OP's post count, I realize she probably woudn't have been here for last year's version of this post. :)

 

P.P.S. I have playing with the toddler bikinis and lounging with only my hubby bikinis. I'm not falling out while splashing and playing.

 

:iagree: Jessica, please wear your bikini with pride for those of us that would if they could.

[elegantlion]

To some people maybe "bikini = sex" but to many others it just equals "cute bathing suit." While some men may feel that their wives' bodies "belong" to them, others may be perfectly happy (even proud) that their wives wear bikinis at the beach or pool. Topless sunbathing, and even nudity, are very common on European beaches, and (amazingly!!!) men are able to walk around acting perfectly normal without having nonstop stiffies. There is nothing inherently "dirty" about a naked human body -- the "dirty" part is in the mind of the beholder, not the body of the beholdee (is that a word? LOL).

 

 

Hmmm, let's look at this in a different context: "If those Amish people want to parade around like that in public, in those weird clothes, then they're fair game for those of us who would rather not look at them." Or how about "If those handicapped people want to parade around like that in public then they're fair game for those who would rather not look at them." If you don't want to look to something, you can always look away.

 

 

Why should it matter to women whether people they've never met think they look good or not??? How would you feel if your daughter was at the pool in a very conservative outfit, and you heard others mocking her and saying she looked ridiculous? Would that be "just opinion" or would you consider it snark if it was directed at you or your loved ones?

 

I truly don't understand why some people care so much about what OTHER people wear, or how many tattoos they have, or how many fat rolls or wrinkles. :confused:

 

Jackie

 

Excellent post, thank you.

[PinkInTheBlue]

:iagree: Jessica, please wear your bikini with pride for those of us that would if they could.

 

For you Paula; just for you. ;) LOL

[Veritaserum]

I do agree with this, but I would go a step further and encourage us to quit judging everyone else and being of the mind that we get to decide who is worthy of certain beach attire.

 

I believe that modesty is SO much more beautiful and attractive, but it seems to me that women are so hostile to each other and pushing one another towards that look of perfection that is unrealistic for most women and girls. (Truly, I believe that most men are more accepting of female flaws than other women are!!) There are two different issues here - dressing modestly out of self-respect and consideration of others, and those that feel that less than fit bodies should be as completely covered up as possible. Just relax and enjoy the water :chillpill::D

 

Kim

 

:iagree:

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

Ok, Bikini moms.....

 

Is there something that you WOULD consider untasteful or inappropriate? My OP alluded to the fact that I feel like I live in a cave and seem to miss the latest trends.

 

What is considered inappropriate to wear to the family pool these days?

I was sure too-small bikinis fell in that category.

 

Do you have older children? Do you have sons? How do they feel about your wearing a bikini? Would you ever stop wearing a bikini around them if they didn't like it?

 

Just wondering.....

[drama_mama]

I am a size 16 and wear a bikini. It fits well and offers full coverage of everything except my stomach. I look at things differently I suppose. I am comfortable and swimming, not walking around the mall or grabbing dinner at a restaurant.

 

The way I look at it is our children are bombarded by bodies that are "perfect" everywhere, the mall, tv, movies, billboards so I am showing my children that my body with its imperfections is still beautiful and not anything to be ashamed of. I get a lot of comments, in all reality they have all been positive, mostly "I wish I had the confidence to wear a bikini". I just don't care. I live in GA, it is hot here in the Summer and I know women who will not even wear shorts because of what there legs look like, that in my opinion is sadder than the 250 pound woman wearing a bikini.

 

I also love my tattoo and so do my kids.

[swimmermom3]

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Well said! I was approaching this from an age perspective, not a body image perspective.

 

40 year old woman in a bikini - why? And this has nothing to do with Europe. In Europe, women age gracefully. They're secure in themselves. It's a different culture. In America, women are dragged kicking and screaming away from being 20. Being called old is the worst insult ever. Instead of embracing their wisdom and accepting a new phase in their life, they try to hang onto every remaining shred of youth.

 

In our culture, bikini = sex. Wearing a bikini is asking to be looked at. So for all of the posters that are calling foul for *gossip* and *criticism* -hey, if women who wear bikinis don't like the attention they're getting, whether it be positive or negative, then they shouldn't hang the goods out for inspection.

 

And if they want to parade around like that in public - yes, public - then they're fair game for those of us who would rather not have to look at them.

 

It's not snark. It's opinion. Does anyone here honestly think that the majority of these women look good? Because the truth is, they don't. Sure, there are exceptions. And this is not a weight issue, either. After a certain age, when things go south and sag and wrinkle, it's just not a good look at all, even for a woman who's skinny.

 

So, when I next see 89-year-old "E" at a swim meet, I should walk up to her and let her know how it "really" is. "E-honey, since most of your peers are in nursing homes and unable to get around much, you need to go home and stay home. After all, you're scaring the kids." "Never mind, that you are 89 and still racing a 400 IM. It's not about the healthy lifestyle, it's about how you look." "Now go home you brazen hussy and sit in your recliner where you belong." "Have you no dignity or pride?"

 

"E"'s 4' of blue-hair, sags,wrinkles,and spunk galore. And yes, I think she is positively gorgeous. I also think she is an outstanding role model for myself and my children.

[elegantlion]

I am a size 16 and wear a bikini. It fits well and offers full coverage of everything except my stomach. I look at things differently I suppose. I am comfortable and swimming, not walking around the mall or grabbing dinner at a restaurant.

 

The way I look at it is our children are bombarded by bodies that are "perfect" everywhere, the mall, tv, movies, billboards so I am showing my children that my body with its imperfections is still beautiful and not anything to be ashamed of. I get a lot of comments, in all reality they have all been positive, mostly "I wish I had the confidence to wear a bikini". I just don't care. I live in GA, it is hot here in the Summer and I know women who will not even wear shorts because of what there legs look like, that in my opinion is sadder than the 250 pound woman wearing a bikini.

 

I also love my tattoo and so do my kids.

 

Okay, where did you get your bikini? I'm a 14/16 and wouldn't mind one if I felt it fit correctly.

[drama_mama]

Ok, Bikini moms.....

 

Is there something that you WOULD consider untasteful or inappropriate? My OP alluded to the fact that I feel like I live in a cave and seem to miss the latest trends.

 

What is considered inappropriate to wear to the family pool these days?

I was sure too-small bikinis fell in that category.

 

Do you have older children? Do you have sons? How do they feel about your wearing a bikini? Would you ever stop wearing a bikini around them if they didn't like it?

 

Just wondering.....

 

if you are falling out of your suit or not sitting appropriately that would be a no no in my book but that is just as easily done in a one piece than in a two piece.

 

I do have a son and also take other teenage boys to the pool and honestly they are too busy playing and swimming to notice what anyone is wearing.

[OH_Homeschooler]

Shew, I saw this earlier and wondered if I was the only one that is so sick and tired of people dictating what others should wear. Hey, big girls in bikinis, NICE TAN.

 

That is all.

 

Yes. I am a big girl and unfortunately, far too self-conscious. I WISH I could have the self-confidence to wear whatever I felt like. I wish I didn't wear a tankini with a skirt on my honeymoon, back before I had kids and had the best body I've ever had, because even then I didn't feel comfortable.

 

I wish I could be a better mom now and go to the pool more often than I do, and I probably would if I felt better about myself. But I suppose I never will because there will always be threads like this on what I consider friendly message boards.

 

So big girls in bikinis, as long as you keep it up maybe I'll get over myself.

[drama_mama]

Okay, where did you get your bikini? I'm a 14/16 and wouldn't mind one if I felt it fit correctly.

 

I have to try them on. I got two this year at target that I love. I also have to buy separates usually as my top and bottom are two different sizes.

[Maria/ME]

Lands' End has tankini's (not a bikini, I know...) in 14/16, as I know from experience. And I have it on good authority they are coming out with leopard print next spring...MEEOW! And you can get these in separate sizing, too!

[elegantlion]

I have to try them on. I got two this year at target that I love. I also have to buy separates usually as my top and bottom are two different sizes.

 

Thanks! Mine would be the same way too.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Ok, Bikini moms.....

 

Is there something that you WOULD consider untasteful or inappropriate? My OP alluded to the fact that I feel like I live in a cave and seem to miss the latest trends.

 

What is considered inappropriate to wear to the family pool these days?

I was sure too-small bikinis fell in that category.

 

Do you have older children? Do you have sons? How do they feel about your wearing a bikini? Would you ever stop wearing a bikini around them if they didn't like it?

 

Just wondering.....

 

I am absolutely against children and teenagers dressing like little sexy women. I'm interested in seeing if there is someone who thinks it's a great idea and would be interested in sharing their point of view. I can't imagine having a little girl and putting her in teeny bikinis myself.

 

Also, again modesty is in the eye of the beholder (or eye of the conviction). What I would say is modest or immodest, you might not. That doesn't make either of us "right" beyond our own opinion.

 

I'd rather not see someone in a thong or speedo. But I'm aware that is because of what I'm accustomed to. I don't like it but that's because I'm extremely unaccustomed to seeing someone's bare behind and it would be just too weird! It's considered a very private part in our part of the world and my kids would be freaked out. :) I guess it's measured by viewing what we consider "private parts".

 

For instance I wear a bikini but my 'books' are at least 2/3 covered by all of them. It's not like I wear an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny string bikini. I just don't wear a one piece or tankini. I also don't want my pieces and parts slipping around to be seen. I don't want to see anyone else's either. However, I do want to see the Riviera though. A different world there! LOL

[Ginevra]

1. My personal position is that I don't think mothers need to be in bikinis when they are with their children. This has less to do with the actual appearance of her body and more to do with the fact that moms should be kept on a pedestal (for lack of a better word.) I'm not explaining this right....but something along the lines of moms should be more wholesome than that just because they're moms. When we talk about kids these days and they don't have any values or moral grounding...well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. How do you teach a daughter to respect her body and not use it to get attention and love when her mother is doing exactly that? How do we get a son to respect a woman's mind when his mother is flaunting her body around for all the world to see? My point is, how is this being a good role model?

 

Well, as you'll see in the rest of my post, I don't think wearing a bikini is immoral or attention-seeking. It's just an article of clothing to wear. It is within the cultural norm to wear a bikini. My children see me exercising every day and they see a lot of my body in a bikini, so they know this is the way to have a strong, lean, healthy body. I happen to think that makes for a great role model. :001_smile:

 

3. I think that it's fair to say that some things are "appropriate" and "inappropriate" to wear to a family pool or beach. If the sign on the pool said, "Adults Only" that might be different. But children (especially prepubescent boys) shouldn't be bombarded with this sexuality when they still believe in Santa Clause. I know their innocence will be shattered soon enough (unfortunately) but it shouldn't be shattered by their best friend's mother.

 

I do agree that there are varying levels of appropriateness depending on the atmosphere and activities that will be happening, as I said in an earlier post. However, what one considers appropriate another would not. It's quite possible that you would not approve of any bathing suit I wear, while others would not be bothered by my bikinis because they still cover all the intended parts. So, who is to determine that a particular bathing suit is too revealing? I know "modesty" people who won't wear a sleeve except full. That is a point of view. I mean, my arms are pretty good-looking, but I don't think a man will fall off his chair because my arms are exposed, KWIM? So, I choose suits that fit the occassion, but I'm not going to the beach in a prarie dress because there is some person on earth who might not appreciate seeing my belly button or *gasp!* someone's teenage son might think I look pretty good for a mom.

 

 

4. I also think just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean that you should do it, especially in a family environment. If I was at the pool and heard another poolgoer using the f-word loud enough for my kids to hear it, I would certainly ask them to tone it down since there are kids around. I don't let my kids see PG13 movies, and lots of the bathingsuits are certainly PG13 or worse. (Ironically, walking around with big garbage bags and asking people to cover up probably would be considered inappropriate!) If a mother is wearing one of these suits, well....it kind of makes me feel like she's making my job that much harder. I shouldn't have to stop going to a family pool just because someone else wants to do whatever they want without consideration of the other patrons.

 

I don't put bikini-wearing in the category as dropping f-bombs. I don't let my kids watch PG13 movies, either, but not because I fear someone will wear a bikini in them. :D To me, showing a belly at the pool is just not dirty, low-class or immoral.

 

6. I have to ask why the mothers are wearing those bikinis in the first place? I agree with others that it is hard to do all your "mom jobs" (especially with toddlers) if you're constantly having to worry about keeping your parts covered. It's just not practical. Not do I think we need to wear 1880's style swim clothes. But a good one-piece or tankini usually does the job nicely.

 

This may blow your mind, so hang on, but I wear them because I like them. And because my dh likes them. He is proud that I look good. He doesn't mind if another man spots me and thinks, "Wow, she looks good." because I'm going home with him. My dh looks pretty good, too, but I don't live in fear and dread that another female will look at him and think, "Mmm. Hunky hubby." :D

 

7. I don't think modesty and having a healthy body image are exclusive of eachother. I don't buy the "healthy body image" argument, or maybe I'm misunderstanding it. Does a healthy body image mean you can wear whatever you want, even if it doesn't look good? Even in Europe (where apparently large, buxom women are proudly parading topless throughout the streets!) I'm sure it's hard to find a man who prefers that to young, taut, and perky. They are always seeking the ideal, even if it's impossible to reach. Just because young, European boys see stretch marks and saggy BooKs at the beach doesn't mean that they aren't surprised as adults by the effects motherhood has on their wives. Any mom can have a healthy body image and still concede that there are some things she shouldn't wear because it just doesn't look good on her.

 

To me, a healthy body image means that it just isn't any big deal what you wear. You wear what you like and what works for you. On the one hand, you seem to be saying even if a woman looks good, she shouldn't wear a bikini, because everyone will be staring at her great body and on the other hand, she shouldn't wear a bikini if she shows some signs of motherhood because everyone will be staring at her stretch marks. :confused: I guess that ties in with your view that bikinis are pre-mom only. Incidentally, I do concede that there are some things that just don't look good on me. That's why I buy things that do. But then, we're back to now people might look at me because it looks good on me?

 

7. I do think there is a time for everything. I stand firm in my (unpopular) opinion that (tasteful) bikinis should be a pre-mom accessory. I grew up in Florida and wore a bikini myself before the kids, and I looked good and had a great time in it. I was also much younger and maybe didn't mind the kind of attention it brought. Nowadays, I only need or want those looks or attention from my husband, so I find no need to walk around half naked in public.

 

Certainly, you are entitled to your opinion. My opinion is different. And just as an aside, and maybe this is a funny thing to say, but I don't really notice anybody looking at me. I'm just a mom at the pool playing with her kids. Maybe some are looking and maybe none are, but I'm not paying attention to it because it matters to me not at all. If they look, I don't care and if they don't notice me at all, that's fine too. My husband has told me women are always checking out other women. He says at a public pool, he always notices the women sizing up the other women's bodies.

 

So, that was long, but I hope it answers the "other" point-of-view.

[Nakia]

I.just.do.not.get.it!!

 

Why, oh why, does anyone care what other people wear???? I don't wear bikinis and neither do my little girls, but I could not care less what anyone else wears! Can't we women be supportive of each other instead of tearing each other down? Can't we be respectful and teach our children that it's the inside that really matters? Can't we let these judgmental attitudes go?

 

And really, is a one piece any more modest than a bikini? The material leaves nothing to the imagination!

[TxMama]

My only problem is the too small bathing suit that doesn't cover the basics and inappropriate tattoos. We recently had a couple of incidents at an obviously family.....little kid.....pool.

 

First was a string bikini that the "booKs" popped out and my 7 yo asked her if it was time to feed her baby. The person was offended that he looked but in reality EVERYBODY was looking but he was the only one that asked a question about the situation. A very innocent question since he is accustomed to seeing "booKs" used in the feeding of babies.

 

Second was a woman wearing a very small bikini and she hadn't trimmed the bushes and my 7 yo asked "why is that all over her thigh?"

 

My kids tend to admire tattoos in general and will comment in a positive light with a tattoo that is especially well done. BUT when you are in the little kids area .....AND you don't even have any little kids with you....AND more than 1 child is clearly upset with your body art maybe you could cover it up OR go to the adult area. IS that too much to ask??

[Elaine]

are obviously not in the 'majority'.....and you know what they say about the 'majority'......LOL!

 

I don't care what people wear at the beach....never have. I am a MOM of 4 and YES I wear a BIKINI!

 

I'm with you, Tammy.

 

But you knew it was coming, didn't you? The annual I can't believe all of these women who wear bikinis thread.

[Elaine]

Can't we women be supportive of each other instead of tearing each other down? Can't we be respectful and teach our children that it's the inside that really matters? Can't we let these judgmental attitudes go?

 

 

Apparently not.

[Peek a Boo]

Ok, Bikini moms.....

 

Is there something that you WOULD consider untasteful or inappropriate? My OP alluded to the fact that I feel like I live in a cave and seem to miss the latest trends.

 

What is considered inappropriate to wear to the family pool these days?

I was sure too-small bikinis fell in that category.

 

Do you have older children? Do you have sons? How do they feel about your wearing a bikini? Would you ever stop wearing a bikini around them if they didn't like it?

 

Just wondering.....

 

ok, I'll wade in.....

I'm with most of the moms [starting w/ Nick's mama, et al] saying that the bikini isn't the issue.

 

for the pool/beach I wear some cute little swimshorts to cover my stretchyikes!marks [probably waaaay too short for the modest moms] and a bikini top.

I usually toss a mesh shirt on over it.

sometimes i'll wear a one-piece. depends on my mood.

I wear [kinda...] a bikini at home to lay out and tan.

 

But I consider attitudes and actions when I'm looking for appropriateness and tastefulness. If you are almost falling out of a teensy bikini but are a helpful, sweet person who would save my kid from drowning, I would swim w/ you. If you are a rude gritch of a person I don't care how "tasteful" your suit is.

Even my 15yo son understands this principle. So does my dh and 3 other sons.

 

Modesty and appropriateness are heart attitudes, not determined by what one wears. If you teach that it's about sexuality, then that's what the kids learn. If you teach that there's more to people than just sexuality, THAT's what they will learn. If it became "about the bikini" I would know it's time to address the issue again.

[TwinMominTX]

I.just.do.not.get.it!!

 

Why, oh why, does anyone care what other people wear???? I don't wear bikinis and neither do my little girls, but I could not care less what anyone else wears! Can't we women be supportive of each other instead of tearing each other down? Can't we be respectful and teach our children that it's the inside that really matters? Can't we let these judgmental attitudes go?

 

And really, is a one piece any more modest than a bikini? The material leaves nothing to the imagination!

 

:iagree: You said it much better than I.

[Nakia]

I am trying not to go crazy with all the tattoo bashing posts. I have a beautiful tattoo that I am very proud of. I can't believe that some people are teaching their children to be judgmental of tattoos. BTW, it doesn't take words to teach our children to be judgmental...

[Peek a Boo]

My only problem is the too small bathing suit that doesn't cover the basics and inappropriate tattoos. We recently had a couple of incidents at an obviously family.....little kid.....pool.

 

First was a string bikini that the "booKs" popped out and my 7 yo asked her if it was time to feed her baby. The person was offended that he looked but in reality EVERYBODY was looking but he was the only one that asked a question about the situation. A very innocent question since he is accustomed to seeing "booKs" used in the feeding of babies.

 

Second was a woman wearing a very small bikini and she hadn't trimmed the bushes and my 7 yo asked "why is that all over her thigh?"

 

My kids tend to admire tattoos in general and will comment in a positive light with a tattoo that is especially well done. BUT when you are in the little kids area .....AND you don't even have any little kids with you....AND more than 1 child is clearly upset with your body art maybe you could cover it up OR go to the adult area. IS that too much to ask??

is it specifically a kid area, or just a zero-entry type of thing? I've known adults that don't want to swim, just want to sit in the sun w/ their feet in the water....

 

sometimes it's not that parts are exposed that bothers us as much as it how one handles that: like the kid who lifts up mom's shirt or skirt, etc.

 

tattoos don't bother me unless they are X-rated.

 

and shaving would be nice if you wear a bikini. Or even a one piece!!

... i guess that's the NEXT thread, lol!

[Nakia]

 

and shaving would be nice if you wear a bikini. Or even a one piece!!

... i guess that's the NEXT thread, lol!

 

Now that I can agree with!!!

[TwinMominTX]

are obviously not in the 'majority'.....and you know what they say about the 'majority'......LOL!

 

I don't care what people wear at the beach....never have. I am a MOM of 4 and YES I wear a BIKINI!

 

You know, I'd consider myself one of those modesty people, but I still don't give a flying flip what anyoen wears to the beach (or anywhere else for that matter).

[Cricket]

My only problem is the too small bathing suit that doesn't cover the basics and inappropriate tattoos. We recently had a couple of incidents at an obviously family.....little kid.....pool.

 

First was a string bikini that the "booKs" popped out and my 7 yo asked her if it was time to feed her baby. The person was offended that he looked but in reality EVERYBODY was looking but he was the only one that asked a question about the situation. A very innocent question since he is accustomed to seeing "booKs" used in the feeding of babies.

 

Second was a woman wearing a very small bikini and she hadn't trimmed the bushes and my 7 yo asked "why is that all over her thigh?"

 

My kids tend to admire tattoos in general and will comment in a positive light with a tattoo that is especially well done. BUT when you are in the little kids area .....AND you don't even have any little kids with you....AND more than 1 child is clearly upset with your body art maybe you could cover it up OR go to the adult area. IS that too much to ask??

 

That is too funny! :lol: That really is the only thing that bothers me. We were at the pool twice over the weekend. Of all the shapes and sizes of bodies and swimming suits, the only one that bothered me was a lady wearing a one-piece and she was still falling out all over up top. It barely covered the pertinent information, if you know what I mean. It was obviously the wrong size for her. It didn't seem to bother her or her dh. :confused: We just averted our eyes.

[Audrey]

I'm with you, Tammy.

 

But you knew it was coming, didn't you? The annual I can't believe all of these women who wear bikinis thread.

 

 

:smilielol5: So true.... so very, very true. Some things are as predictable as the sunrise. Personally, I'm waiting for the return of the "Saxon Sucks Slugfest." I've already got my tickets.

[Dirtroad]

I take my kids less & less to public swimming & water parks b/c people have little to no judgement anymore regarding respectibility.

 

I do not mean spider web veins, cellulite, a little butterfly tattoo, or some stretch marks (maps of life). I do not think most anything I have read on this thread implies that. I am jealous (in a good way) of Moms of 7 who can wear the old Itsy bitsy Teeny Weenie..... they have worked hard for it or been very blessed by the gene pool! Bravo! I hope Moms when arouund kids do restrain a bit as they promote beauty & health to not resort to "all hanging out"... for the daughters and young women are looking for guidance & the green/red lights. However, clean & basically covered are always good - whether bikini, tanks, one pieces, or those beach dresses.

 

But 250# into a mini sized leopard bikini with skulls & crossbones on your back & some other shocking images... topped off with no shaving pits, legs, or other privies... NO WAY. Please, put on a t-shirt.

Edited July 6, 2009 by Dirtroad

[Ginevra]

am absolutely against children and teenagers dressing like little sexy women. I'm interested in seeing if there is someone who thinks it's a great idea and would be interested in sharing their point of view. I can't imagine having a little girl and putting her in teeny bikinis myself.

 

Also, again modesty is in the eye of the beholder (or eye of the conviction). What I would say is modest or immodest, you might not. That doesn't make either of us "right" beyond our own opinion.

 

I'd rather not see someone in a thong or speedo. But I'm aware that is because of what I'm accustomed to. I don't like it but that's because I'm extremely unaccustomed to seeing someone's bare behind and it would be just too weird! It's considered a very private part in our part of the world and my kids would be freaked out. :) I guess it's measured by viewing what we consider "private parts".

 

For instance I wear a bikini but my 'books' are at least 2/3 covered by all of them. It's not like I wear an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny string bikini. I just don't wear a one piece or tankini. I also don't want my pieces and parts slipping around to be seen. I don't want to see anyone else's either. However, I do want to see the Riviera though. A different world there! LOL

 

:iagree: Yup, almost all those same things. Regarding thongs, most public places around here don't allow them. I'm also not a fan of little girls wearing sexy-cut suits. I started seeing a remarkably large number of them by the time my dd was 8 (she is 12 now). My dd wears one-piece suits. I would allow her to wear certain two-piece suits if she wanted to, but not others. Top could not be triangle-style and bottoms could not be hipster-style. If she wanted a two-piece, she would still have to have a one-piece for active swimming. I don't invite wardrobe malfunctions. I have sons (9 and 4). As far as I know, they are not bothered by my bikinis. If they said they were uncomfortable, I would talk to them about what was bothering them. I might consider not wearing them in a given situation, say, if ds was having a pool party and didn't want his friends to say, "Hey, your mom looks hot! ;)", but I would not completely alter my clothing choices because my son(s) said they didn't like it. I would tell them there are bigger problems in the world and to get over it.

[Stacy in NJ]

But you knew it was coming, didn't you? The annual I can't believe all of these women who wear bikinis thread.

 

 

But it's a TRADITION!!!

 

I couldn't care less what people choose to wear to the beach or pool. :tongue_smilie:

[Elaine]

:smilielol5: So true.... so very, very true. Some things are as predictable as the sunrise. Personally, I'm waiting for the return of the "Saxon Sucks Slugfest." I've already got my tickets.

 

:lol: I was actually thinking that we might miss this year what with all of the rain and cool weather.

 

Do you want to talk about the Pearls, Audrey?:lol:

[LG Gone Wild]

But it's a TRADITION!!!

 

 

 

 

:iagree: :cheers2: :lol::lol::lol:

[funschooler5]

I am a size 16 and wear a bikini. It fits well and offers full coverage of everything except my stomach. I look at things differently I suppose. I am comfortable and swimming, not walking around the mall or grabbing dinner at a restaurant.

 

The way I look at it is our children are bombarded by bodies that are "perfect" everywhere, the mall, tv, movies, billboards so I am showing my children that my body with its imperfections is still beautiful and not anything to be ashamed of. I get a lot of comments, in all reality they have all been positive, mostly "I wish I had the confidence to wear a bikini". I just don't care. I live in GA, it is hot here in the Summer and I know women who will not even wear shorts because of what there legs look like, that in my opinion is sadder than the 250 pound woman wearing a bikini.

 

I also love my tattoo and so do my kids.

 

 

:hurray::hurray:

Good for you!!! I am one of those people that quit wearing shorts a few years ago. My kids would love it if I went swimming with them, but I'm too self-conscious to get into any bathing suit in public. How sad is that?? When they are taking their swimming lessons, I sit in the bleachers and see bodies of all shapes, sizes, and ages...I don't think I've ever seen anyone look inappropriate. I think everyone looks great!

 

I'm an illustrator. In college I took several life drawing classes where we sketched nude models. These were people of all different shapes, sizes and ages. After awhile you start to appreciate the beauty of the human body....every human body.

 

Maybe someday I'll be able to feel that way about myself...

[Alicia64]

In the spirit of not being judgmental: I will say that I'm stunned how beautiful many of the moms at the pool are in their one and two pieces.

 

I honestly think women are a lot more beautiful than they realize. Which is sad when you think about it.

 

Alley

[Audrey]

:lol: I was actually thinking that we might miss this year what with all of the rain and cool weather.

 

Do you want to talk about the Pearls, Audrey?:lol:

 

 

:lol: Let's get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuummmmble!

[Elaine]

:lol: Let's get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuummmmble!

 

LOL! Literally.:D

[LG Gone Wild]

:lol: I was actually thinking that we might miss this year what with all of the rain and cool weather.

 

Do you want to talk about the Pearls, Audrey?:lol:

 

 

I just now got that joke. :lol:

[Kathy in MD]

......Do you have older children? Do you have sons? How do they feel about your wearing a bikini? Would you ever stop wearing a bikini around them if they didn't like it?

 

Just wondering.....

 

There are times when my ds would rather I wear a brown paper bag over my head. Or else he wants to wear the bag. Parents are such an embaressment! :lol::lol::lol:

 

BTW, I don't wear bikinis, or swimsuits now. If I ever figure out how to go into the water with certain med appliances, I will wear them again, rarely, but I will use the hot tub!

 

Oh, and my ds does know what my unadorned body looks like. Sometimes he has to help me with my medical devices when my dh isn't available. It's only a body.

[Mom-ninja.]

I have three kids. If I want to wear a bikini I'll wear one. You can look at me and judge all you want. I'll be having fun playing with my kids instead of judging what other moms are wearing.

[Maria/ME]

You mean this is an annual thread?! Oh, brother. I fell. Hook, line and sinker. I'm returning to my regularly scheduled program ie real life!

[TxMama]

is it specifically a kid area, or just a zero-entry type of thing? I've known adults that don't want to swim, just want to sit in the sun w/ their feet in the water....

 

tattoos don't bother me unless they are X-rated.

 

 

 

Yes zero entry and yes it was a little kid area.

 

I would say that about 50% of the adults in the area had some sort of body art so the issue wasn't body art.

 

In this particular incident the body art would've been classified as x-rated or at the very least NC-17. It was graphic, bloody, and clearly not appropriate for little kid's viewing. THe oldest child in the little kid pool was 5 and more than one noticed and was clearly upset.

[mommaduck]

Just speaking for myself here. I really, really wish more pools would have a day set aside for those that don't want to mix swim. Several across the country are doing this for Muslim and Jewish mamas...but alas, not here, even in the middle of Lancaster County! The last time I signed my children up for swim lessons and my tot and I for a MOM & ME class (during a low attendance time, none the less), I ended up with most of the Mom & Me class being DADS and a couple with their wives wearing dental floss. I had a decent figure at the time, wore a very modest black one piece with attached overlay. My daughter and I were both embarrassed. Neither of us are used to showing that much of our bodies to MEN as we believe strongly in modesty, something that appears to be a lost concept in much of today's society.

 

And I'm one of those mamas that see nothing wrong with more modest swimwear. Yes, our bodies are beautiful in the variety of shapes, shades, etc. But I don't have to strut it know it.