Moms & bikinis (slight rant, and a LITTLE tmi)

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Frankweiler

Awww, thanks. I guess I'll see you at the pool. You'll recognize me as the crazy lady passing out x-x large t-shirts to all those "inappropriate" people. ;)

 

 

 

You don't strike me as the type who would do such a thing to my face. It's easy to be this way wrapped in a cloak of anonymity on the internet.

 

 

Um....I was kidding. Just trying to lighten the mood. I've resigned myself to the fact that those on the "bikini side" will always think they are right and my family and I will just have to live with their freedoms.

 

If you look at the original post, I started off saying my opinion will be in the minority. And I wrote it with a little humor and sarcasm because I knew there was nothing I would ever be able to do about it--I either keep my family locked away at home or laugh about this topic and hope nothing "pops" out while my 9yr old son is playing "Marco Polo." This issue of too tight/inappropriate clothing isn't limited to the pool, but that's just the most obvious place. I was never advocating a swimsuit law for mothers, or evil punishments dolled out by the fashion police for swimmers wearing suits (one piece or two) about 3 sizes too small. I stated my opinion, several of you stated yours' (which I knew was coming) and that's the end of that. I'm still not changing my mind, just like you're not changing yours. I think my mistake was attaching the word moral to the whole thing. If I had said "conservative" I don't think everyone would have been so upset.

 

And I think if we weren't "wrapped in a cloak of anonymity" you and I might actually be friends. You see....we're also a Christian, military, homeschooling family.

 

I have to go now....my kids have (gulp) swimming lessons this morning. Please know I'll be thinking of you all!:001_smile:

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

I admire moms who stay fit -- in fact, if I saw a mom in a bikini looking all toned and fit, I would go up to her and compliment her and ask her what her workout/diet regimen looks like! Honey, I'd be taking notes not griping!

 

I have actually done this before. I can appreciate the work that goes into looking and staying healthy, especially when it's a mom. But don't you think she'd look just at toned and fit in a one piece or tankini? I'm just sayin'......

 

It might sound like I'm splitting hairs, but for every toned/fit bikini wearer out there, I have personally seen countless others who aren't toned and fit but who are falling out of their swimming clothes.

[Miss Marple]

When they are led by MEN who are actively training them in how to respond morally in a situation, THAT kind of talk does NOT come up.

In an ideal world (or troop), perhaps. But often these boys are in the troop because they are not in an "ideal" environment. Often these troops are led by less than "ideal" men (and women). At least that's the reality around here (but that's a whole 'nuther thread)

 

Sorry, but when boys get together, the pack mentality tends to rule. I'm not making across the board judgments, but rather noticing that those boys who tend to be the nice, upstanding, honorable ones, will often do things that they might not otherwise do. Peer pressure, herd mentality....call it what you like.

 

Sure, there are those who don't participate in that kind of conversation. And, we would, of course, have to define what we mean by "nice" because that term will mean different things to different people. But, based on my observations, boys, even nice ones (by my definition), can participate in that type of conversation.

 

I think, too, that many of these boys don't understand the implication or connotation that the term "hot" implies. Many of these boys grow up with moms who are still trying to maintain their 20-something image and who would be pleased to be considered "hot" by their sons' friends.

Edited July 7, 2009 by CynthiaOK

[Tami]

 

Do you find the belly to be an especially sinful area to show? And yes, for some of us it IS! :lol: I really don't see an effective difference between a tankini and a bikini, sorry. I may be totally missing something!

[mommaduck]

Alas? Are we the United States of America? How does segregation make a country a better place to be?

 

 

 

Actually, my entire family doesn't have a problem with seeing each other naked. And I have a 15 yo boy. He has a wonderful sense of self and is not judgmental towards other's physiques. I believe this is in large part because we raised him that the human body is a wonderful creation that one should not be ashamed of.

 

I don't believe this entire thread is about bikinis at all; I think it is about how people treat one another. And it's sad.

 

 

asta

 

Making fun of my English now?

 

Segregation? These women were being segregated by not being able to go swim at the pool due to their own personal convictions. THEY took initiative and arranged for a time, once a week, on a low attendance day, with the pool administrators to have a WOMEN and small children (boys allowed only up to age 6) PRIVATE swim time. This permits them to hold to both their conviction and enjoy the same privileges as everyone else. NOWHERE are they impressing THEIR convictions on another.

 

 

And just because you are comfortable with a certain amount of nudity within certain contexts does not mean everyone else is. I would be considered quite liberal by many (I love art museums, my children have all seen birthing videos, I'm the only person in my house that has no problem coming out in my slip and bra to iron a shirt...I'm the least modest person in the home next to my 3 and 1yr old. Not much privacy when your a mama that has rarely gone potty alone in 13yrs and has breastfed most of those years). But still, I don't knock someone for THEIR view of modesty and if they think I'm liberal, that's on them. I may think they are somewhat unrealistic. On the other side, I've been accused of being Mennonite (I'm sooooo NOT!), being a legalist (also NOT!), and unrealistic (okay, there have been times where I've been an idealist...but that wears off with time ;) ).

 

BTW, we also go to the shore. We see some things there. My children have taught themselves to look a different direction if something is disturbing to them. We have fun as a family (we are fully clothed...no suits). We are there for ourselves, and though we would like things to be different, we are not responsible for other peoples' choices, only our own.

 

private, voluntary segregation is fine [black Miss America pageant, BSA, racial/religious criteria for private scholarships, etc]. If women [or men] choose to avail themselves of an opportunity designed explicitly for them, then that's fine.

 

It is gvt mandated and/or forced segregation that is immoral and wrong [minority set asides and racial quotas/private coercion]. If women were only allowed [ever] to swim with other women, then that ability to choose has been removed. many religious services only allow men on one side, women on the other, but worshipers are not forced by the gvt to attend those churches, and I'd bet most are there willingly. There's always some wacko who's being a fanatic spouse beater or manipulator.....:glare:

 

The ability to choose without using force on another is foundational for these United States of America.

 

but like i mentioned earlier, i do agree that this thread isn't about bikinis.

 

THANK YOU!!!

Edited July 7, 2009 by mommaduck

[elegantlion]

Do you find the belly to be an especially sinful area to show? And yes, for some of us it IS! :lol: I really don't see an effective difference between a tankini and a bikini, sorry. I may be totally missing something!

 

:iagree:

[Melinda in VT]

Do you find the belly to be an especially sinful area to show? And yes, for some of us it IS! :lol: I really don't see an effective difference between a tankini and a bikini, sorry. I may be totally missing something!

 

I suppose it depends on the tankini. The ones I have seen completely cover the belly, so there is no more skin exposed than in a one-piece.

 

(Not that I think there is anything wrong with wearing a bikini, although I have never done it. It was forbidden in the religious culture in which I was raised, and by the time I left that culture, I was the mother of twins. I don't think bikinis are the most flattering look for me. :tongue_smilie:)

[Riverfront Headmistress]

Here is a picture of a local at a Finnish beach. Look at your own risk.

 

[Osmosis Mom]

Wow, I am shocked at the hostility in this thread. Whatever happened to respectful exchange of opinions??

 

I was at the local town beach yesterday (fully clothed, supervising my kids). I was at a more "flashy" beach a few weeks back, again, so my kids could play. We rarely go to beaches when there are town of people because we beleive in modesty, but that doesn't mean others can't do/wear what they please. My kids are taught to avert their eyes. Ds is almost 14 and needs to learn as well....

 

It is sort of amusing (not) how some of the posters in this thread judge fellow moms. I mean everyone does what they have to do...

[jplain]

I really don't see an effective difference between a tankini and a bikini, sorry. I may be totally missing something!

 

:001_huh:

 

I think they're pretty different. My tankini doesn't show any belly skin. The tank portion overlaps the bottom very slightly. I wear it instead of a one piece because I find it more comfortable.

[Tami]

A tankini covers the belly, but the bottom leaves more of the leg/hip/buttocks exposed, doesn't it? Is this a matter of the belly being sinful (to your old church culture) or is it a matter of minimizing bared skin? An argument could be made that if I wear swim shorts to mid thigh and a bikini top, I am baring no more skin than a tankini top and the smaller bottoms. In fact, I'd wager that a higher percentage of my body is covered.

 

So is it a matter of "how much" skin is showing, the specific area of skin showing, or just a general idea that bikinis are implicitly immodest?

[jplain]

A tankini covers the belly, but the bottom leaves more of the leg/hip/buttocks exposed, doesn't it?

 

No more than a regular one piece suit exposes.

 

I wear a skirted bottom, but that has more to do with not wanting to shave than modesty. ;)

In fact, that's one of the things that makes tankinis so great. You can mix and match tops and bottoms!

[Melinda in VT]

A tankini covers the belly, but the bottom leaves more of the leg/hip/buttocks exposed, doesn't it? Is this a matter of the belly being sinful (to your old church culture) or is it a matter of minimizing bared skin? An argument could be made that if I wear swim shorts to mid thigh and a bikini top, I am baring no more skin than a tankini top and the smaller bottoms. In fact, I'd wager that a higher percentage of my body is covered.

 

So is it a matter of "how much" skin is showing, the specific area of skin showing, or just a general idea that bikinis are implicitly immodest?

 

Tankinis come with a variety of bottom halves. Mine is a swim skirt.

 

As for my old church culture, I think it was both about total amount of skin covered and covering belly skin. Of course, this was before tankinis, so the rule was usually phrased as "no two-piece swimming suits." At least for some people, the rule hasn't changed, and they ban tankinis too, because they have two pieces, even though they cover more than a one-piece.:lol:

[Tami]

Tankinis come with a variety of bottom halves. Mine is a swim skirt.

 

As for my old church culture, I think it was both about total amount of skin covered and covering belly skin. Of course, this was before tankinis, so the rule was usually phrased as "no two-piece swimming suits." At least for some people, the rule hasn't changed, and they ban tankinis too, because they have two pieces, even though they cover more than a one-piece.:lol:

 

Thanks for answering. Hmmm. I don't "get" legalism, but am trying. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the logic. Oh well, I guess it keeps the church committees busy, anyway! :lol:

[Tami]

:001_huh:

 

I think they're pretty different. My tankini doesn't show any belly skin. The tank portion overlaps the bottom very slightly. I wear it instead of a one piece because I find it more comfortable.

 

Sorry, I meant an effective difference in modesty. The legs, arms, chest and back are showing in both a tankini and a bikini, which is a majority of the body, percentage-wise. Why is the belly the standard of modesty? I mean most men like legs, or name-your-body-part. I've never heard of a "belly man," but maybe they exist, I don't know! It just seems like covering the belly is an odd and arbitrary litmus test for modesty, when so many other 'yummy' parts are revealed in a one-piece and in a tankini. Interesting thread; I did not realize that so many had such an issue with the belly in particular. I need to get out more, apparently.:D

[Karen sn]

BTW, Modesty is not always about sexuality, covering up sexuality, considering sexuality as a shameful or disgraceful thing, etc. Sexuality has it's place and it's variances based on circumstance. I don't need to bare my sexuality to make it a good and positive thing.

 

No. I agree.

I actually feel sexier in my knee length or longer skirts.

Less clothing is actually not sexy to me.

[Karen sn]

I'm glad you posted what this Protestant never knew.

 

Me too.

I never knew that.

Was Mary Protestant or Jewish?

[jplain]

Sorry, I meant an effective difference in modesty. The legs, arms, chest and back are showing in both a tankini and a bikini, which is a majority of the body, percentage-wise.

As compared to a one piece? Or as compared to being fully clothed? :confused:

 

Why is the belly the standard of modesty?

For me it has little to do with modesty, and everything to do with not caring to expose my post-baby loose skin and stretch marks! :D

[Karen sn]

I'm always curious why Mary's perpetual virginity (or not) is an issue. Does it matter, really? It has nothing to do with Christ or salvation. If she did have other children, does it take away from who Christ is?

 

I think it's one of those issues that people fight over for no real good reason.

 

It does not matter.

It just affects the way some people view sexuality.

The perfect holy Virgin Mary because she was God's mother or because she never had sex?

 

I love Mary because she raised an amazing Jewish boy.

Her sexuality matters not to me.

But it has influenced deeply mankind and the views that spring forth from the virgin birth.

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

I really don't see an effective difference between a tankini and a bikini, sorry. I may be totally missing something!

 

The biggest difference in a bikini and a tankini is that, in my opinion, a bikini is just glorified underwear--that you can (hopefully) swim in. Some people might say that about all bathingsuits made after 1940...but you have to wear something to the beach! A one piece or tankini seems to be a good middle ground. I wear a tankini that covers just as much as a one piece. I prefer it because...well....it makes going to the bathroom easier.

 

I'm not advocating a total ban on bikinis. I used to wear one many, many years ago. This is the heart of my opposition to them for moms:

 

I'm not explaining this right....but something along the lines of moms should be more wholesome than that just because they're moms.

 

 

I'm not calling people jezabels if they wear a bikini. They're probably not trying to ask for trouble or call more attention to themselves, although I think they probably are calling more attention to themselves whether they want to or not. Especially if the suit it ill-fitting.

[Tami]

Heh, heh! I don't see an effective difference in modesty between a bikini and a tankini/one-piece. One covers the belly and the other doesn't, but both show lots of skin, percentage-wise. Perhaps it is a perception thing?

[Tami]

They're probably not trying to ask for trouble or call more attention to themselves, although I think they probably are calling more attention to themselves whether they want to or not. Especially if the suit it ill-fitting.

 

I don't know whose attention you are talking about. I am not paying attention to what you are wearing at the beach. Now, if you have nice deltoids or sculpted calves, I may notice you and come up and give you a compliment, regardless of what suit you are wearing. I may ask you for your workout routine! I think that if you have a hot body, whether in a one piece, a tankini, or a bikini men are going to take notice. Covering the belly in a tankini is not going to thwart lustful eyes, and to believe that seems a little naive to me.

 

An obese person in any swimsuit will cause many to avert their eyes.:eek: Maybe all the hard bodies should stay home or wear sweat suits so as not to call attention to themselves. Alternately, we could all go on an ice cream diet for the summer and gain 30 pounds of unsightly fat so as not to incite lust in those prying eyes. :drool::lol: Just trying to lighten it up a little, but the ice cream DOES sound fantastic!

Edited July 7, 2009 by Tami

[swimmermom3]

Alas? Are we the United States of America? How does segregation make a country a better place to be?

 

 

 

Actually, my entire family doesn't have a problem with seeing each other naked. And I have a 15 yo boy. He has a wonderful sense of self and is not judgmental towards other's physiques. I believe this is in large part because we raised him that the human body is a wonderful creation that one should not be ashamed of.

 

I don't believe this entire thread is about bikinis at all; I think it is about how people treat one another. And it's sad.

 

 

asta

 

My dh and I recently read an article about a country (Iran?) where there is a separate train for the women. At first I was appalled, but as we read further, it turns out the women do have a choice: the regular train or the women's train. Most women voluntarily chose the women's train because it's more fun.

 

My dh grew up Japan (missionary brat) and still travels in Asia. Given the behavior of many of the Japanese businessmen on the trains, my dh thought the Japanese women might like their own train too. Before I could smack him with my pillow, he explained that on a separate train, the women wouldn't have the very drunk businessmen vomiting on the women's shoes.

 

Yuck! In that case, even I could go for a separate train. I just want to able to choose where I go. Like the pool.

[OH_Homeschooler]

An obese person in any swimsuit will cause many to avert their eyes.:eek:

 

 

Yes, we are freaks of nature and love to be reminded of it constantly.

[OnTheBrink]

Me too.

I never knew that.

Was Mary Protestant or Jewish?

 

Mary was Jewish.

 

Protestants "protested" the Catholic church, which didn't exist at the time of Jesus's birth. So, she couldn't be protestant.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Given the behavior of many of the Japanese businessmen on the trains, my dh thought the Japanese women might like their own train too. Before I could smack him with my pillow, he explained that on a separate train, the women wouldn't have the very drunk businessmen vomiting on the women's shoes.

 

Yuck! In that case, even I could go for a separate train. I just want to able to choose where I go. Like the pool.

 

They don't just vomit on the women's shoes - they also grope in very crowded trains and buses (and yes, it is deliberate). I had a habit of grabbing the groping hand and squeezing and pinching and twisting until they cried out.

[runamuk]

I guess I would be the gal who makes the majority of you lose your lunch. I'm a big woman who loves to swim when I have the time. Oh, and those varicose veins-bring 'em on baby.

 

I go to the pool, shove my bookends and all into a size 16 polyester swimsuit (no bikini, or little skirty thing), put on cap and the goggles whose marks won't leave my face for four hours (I'm over 40, are you all green yet?) and I get in the water and lap swim. Now I do have to "parade" past the 16-21 year-old male lifeguards, most of whom I know from swim team and as friends of my older kids. They must have terrible mothers because instead of averting their eyes, I usually hear, "Hey Mrs. B., good to see (he doesn't really mean that, right?) you, you missed the last two days." Rats.

 

Those old men in Speedos? Every summer, my dh and I make sure we are available to run electronic timing for the Masters meets. I love, positivly love watching those "old" men and women in Speedos race. I'm not looking at their suits thinking "suitable" Christian thoughts like, "How obscene and immoral." I'm thinking that for that 65-year-old man to have a 6-pack it takes incredible self-discipline and hard work. The 50-year-old woman with the suit up her backside who just broke a world record- I am in tears at her beauty and strength. These "old", "ugly", "less-than-perfect" people are amazing. They come in all shapes and sizes and they wear swimsuits in public.

 

I'm sorry if I offend you morally and asthetically. I am still going to the pool today. Only instead of making a quick, embarrassed, entrance and exit into the pool I am going to hold my head high. I am going to swim as I always do, for my health, for my family, for my sense of connection and peace, and because today, I'm really pi**ed off.

 

:iagree: and :001_wub:

[swimmermom3]

Making fun of my English now?

 

Segregation? These women were being segregated by not being able to go swim at the pool due to their own personal convictions. THEY took initiative and arranged for a time, once a week, on a low attendance day, with the pool administrators to have a WOMEN and small children (boys allowed only up to age 6) PRIVATE swim time. This permits them to hold to both their conviction and enjoy the same privileges as everyone else. NOWHERE are they impressing THEIR convictions on another.

 

 

And just because you are comfortable with a certain amount of nudity within certain contexts does not mean everyone else is. I would be considered quite liberal by many (I love art museums, my children have all seen birthing videos, I'm the only person in my house that has no problem coming out in my slip and bra to iron a shirt...I'm the least modest person in the home next to my 3 and 1yr old. Not much privacy when your a mama that has rarely gone potty alone in 13yrs and has breastfed most of those years). But still, I don't knock someone for THEIR view of modesty and if they think I'm liberal, that's on them. I may think they are somewhat unrealistic. On the other side, I've been accused of being Mennonite (I'm sooooo NOT!), being a legalist (also NOT!), and unrealistic (okay, there have been times where I've been an idealist...but that wears off with time ;) ).

 

BTW, we also go to the shore. We see some things there. My children have taught themselves to look a different direction if something is disturbing to them. We have fun as a family (we are fully clothed...no suits). We are there for ourselves, and though we would like things to be different, we are not responsible for other peoples' choices, only our own.

 

 

 

THANK YOU!!!

 

I think your English is perfect.:D This post commands my respect. You've stated your beliefs while taking into consideration the beliefs of others. No judgments passed. From a post like this, I can learn a great deal because the tone leaves me open to what the poster has to say. It feels safe to ask genuine questions, to probe a little further, and to try and expand my understanding.

 

If a thread starts with sarcasm and judgments, I'm often too busy trying to get my Speedo out of its knot to hear what is being said. This forum offers a wide variety of life experiences, beliefs, and opinions and I shamelessly try to take advantage of that when I can. I want to learn and I'm itching to ask questions. A harsh post (not you, Mrs. F, in general) shuts down the questioning process, for me anyway.

 

I would have liked to ask questions of the more conservative and modest moms but that doesn't seem possible now, given the direction this thread went.

 

Mommaduck, you are one cool lady.

[swimmermom3]

They don't just vomit on the women's shoes - they also grope in very crowded trains and buses (and yes, it is deliberate). I had a habit of grabbing the groping hand and squeezing and pinching and twisting until they cried out.

 

:lol::lol::lol:Jean, my dh will get a chuckle out of that. He plans on taking the family to Japan to see the places he grew up in. Poor guy is just a tad concerned with how his dw will react (oky-overreact) on those crowded trains and buses.

[Hazelt"nut"]

I have enjoyed reading most of the replies to this thread. I do wear a two piece, I feel I look my best in it. Interestingly, my two piece has a skirt on the bottom and therefore I show less leg than a woman wearing a one piece. My stomach shows ( I got lucky that two kids didn't do too much damage there) but my upper legs (the area I don't like) is covered. so I go for the two piece with skirt over the one piece. Also , I have found that trashy-ness is more in the personality and how one holds themselves. I have seen women and teenage girls that look very trashy in a one piece and others that look less trashy in a two piece. Does that make sense? Just my thoughts on the issue. I do hope that whatever we wear, we act modestly and feel good about ourselves, just the way we are.

[mommaduck]

No. I agree.

I actually feel sexier in my knee length or longer skirts.

Less clothing is actually not sexy to me.

 

Same here. I know some men, in certain cultures, that won't let their wives wear skirts...it makes them an easier target or seen as more "easily accessible".

[mommaduck]

I think your English is perfect.:D This post commands my respect. You've stated your beliefs while taking into consideration the beliefs of others. No judgments passed. From a post like this, I can learn a great deal because the tone leaves me open to what the poster has to say. It feels safe to ask genuine questions, to probe a little further, and to try and expand my understanding.

 

If a thread starts with sarcasm and judgments, I'm often too busy trying to get my Speedo out of its knot to hear what is being said. This forum offers a wide variety of life experiences, beliefs, and opinions and I shamelessly try to take advantage of that when I can. I want to learn and I'm itching to ask questions. A harsh post (not you, Mrs. F, in general) shuts down the questioning process, for me anyway.

 

I would have liked to ask questions of the more conservative and modest moms but that doesn't seem possible now, given the direction this thread went.

 

Mommaduck, you are one cool lady.

 

And I think the same of you :D Bravo to you for standing for your convictions as well.

Edited July 7, 2009 by mommaduck

[Murphy101]

didn't read all 14 pages of replies...

 

but I'd rather see a married unattractive (to you I suppose - as if the women should care what you think of their figure?) woman sitting at the pool in a bikini with dh and dc than an unmarried teenager in a bikini flirting with all the boys.:001_huh:

 

personally I view my body too negatively (I'd love, love to lose about 30 pounds and I could probably reflect light I'm so white and a size 16) to want to look in the mirrior at myself, much less make anyone else do it in public.

 

however, my dh hates my perception and would be thrilled to see me in a bikini (or any swimsuit at all for that matter) and he absolutely would not discourage it. He says I look awesome. :001_wub:

 

that said, the age is not relavent to me. If it's not appropriate for a woman to wear a bikini then it's not - age and size is not an issue if this is a question of modesty/morals.

 

Personally I'm going out to buy a bikini this afternoon.

I'll likely wear a light colored tshirt over it (which pending perspective is MORE alluring than without it).

 

bikini's are awesome easy to breastfeed in without having to constantly adjust or get out of the water.

 

I'm hoping for a bikini top and the shorts style bottoms.

 

I've tried other styles and this is what is easiest to breastfed in without drawing undo attention or hassle and still be comfortable.

 

I guess anyone offended by the less than perfect or less than youthful should stay at the pool in their backyard.

 

The notion that they are "asking for trouble" is flat-out insulting and hateful. Exactly what kind of trouble do you think a mother going swimming with her kids is asking for?:glare:

 

Honestly, if by some weird notion any man other than my awesome hubby were to be attracted to me, I can assure you that they quickly adjust their opinion at the sight of the 9 children.:lol:

 

I'm a 35 year old Catholic who wishes she had the figure she had when the 4th baby was born. I'm more modest than most and not anywhere near enough by some. But swimming is swimming. You're going to see flesh.

 

And the notion that a tankini is any better than a bikini is pure opinion. A silk teddy covers more than bra and undies, but most wouldn't suggest that it's any more modest.

[Orthodox6]

[see below]

 

 

It does not matter.

It does not matter to you if this is not part of whatever is your particular religious perspective. In the Church, however, there are genuine theological reasons to teach the facts as handed down from the beginning, in the Bible, and in the teachings of the Holy Fathers..

 

 

It just affects the way some people view sexuality.

Not at all. There is absolutely no relationship between the two topics.

 

 

The perfect holy Virgin Mary because she was God's mother or because she never had sex?

If you have a serious interest in learning about the Theotokos, feel free to PM me, and I will offer some links to information. This thread is about swimwear.

 

 

Edited July 7, 2009 by Orthodox6

[Danestress]

I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being "unkind," "catty," or "judgemental." This was just my opinion because I have seen this bikini-trend become more and more prevalant the last few years. And if it sounds judgemental for me to say that I don't like it, well....too bad.

 

Actually, I think there were more women wearing string bikinis in the 70s than there are now. When I was a young woman - like 20 years ago - I honestly could hardly find a skirted swim suit that wasn't meant for old ladies (you know, the super padded kind in really old lady prints). My friends couldn't understand why I would want one, but I did have that modesty streak. I think it's awesome that women can buy so many really modest suits now and have the choice of swim shorts and rash guards and other athletic but modest options. It's great.

 

I think maybe I spend more time with old ladies than the rest of you do. The day is coming for you (I hope), when every inch of your skin shows age and is truly unattractive to someone who likes smooth, supple skin. The day is coming (I hope) when your hands are a wrinkled, spotted mess and people sort of wince to see them. The day is coming (I hope) when your hair will mostly be gone and people will see that your scalp is sort of scaly. And I say "I hope" because it will happen if you grow old, and I hope you do. The people who really love you will say, "She looks beautiful to us" because you will be dear to them. But to everyone else, you will be truly aesthetically horrid. This does happen to everyone who lives long enough, and its hard. My grandmother was a singularly beautiful woman through her 60s, but at 95, she'd lost everything but the bone structure.

 

So in a way, I guess that as a fairly modest woman, I do tend to cut women of all ages a lot of slack. If someone has had a few babies and her body isn't looking great, she may want to cover that up. I know I probably would. But if she doesn't, more power to her. She's learning right now at 40 how to live with people's non-admiring looks, and she better get used to it now because not matter how much she covers up, eventually the world will see that she is a sagging, wrinkling, mole covered mess. I've never ever seen a woman in her 90s who wasn't. And they really ARE still beautiful but in a very different way that doesn't really photograph well at the pool.

[cslbda]

I wear a tankini w/ a skirted bottom to cover everything I don't want the world to see- but if I thought I could get away with it, I would definitely wear a bikini. My husband especially would love to see me in one, but I am sure he is blinded by love:tongue_smilie:

[swimmermom3]

I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being "unkind," "catty," or "judgemental." This was just my opinion because I have seen this bikini-trend become more and more prevalant the last few years. And if it sounds judgemental for me to say that I don't like it, well....too bad.

 

Actually, I think there were more women wearing string bikinis in the 70s than there are now. When I was a young woman - like 20 years ago - I honestly could hardly find a skirted swim suit that wasn't meant for old ladies (you know, the super padded kind in really old lady prints). My friends couldn't understand why I would want one, but I did have that modesty streak. I think it's awesome that women can buy so many really modest suits now and have the choice of swim shorts and rash guards and other athletic but modest options. It's great.

 

I think maybe I spend more time with old ladies than the rest of you do. The day is coming for you (I hope), when every inch of your skin shows age and is truly unattractive to someone who likes smooth, supple skin. The day is coming (I hope) when your hands are a wrinkled, spotted mess and people sort of wince to see them. The day is coming (I hope) when your hair will mostly be gone and people will see that your scalp is sort of scaly. And I say "I hope" because it will happen if you grow old, and I hope you do. The people who really love you will say, "She looks beautiful to us" because you will be dear to them. But to everyone else, you will be truly aesthetically horrid. This does happen to everyone who lives long enough, and its hard. My grandmother was a singularly beautiful woman through her 60s, but at 95, she'd lost everything but the bone structure.

 

So in a way, I guess that as a fairly modest woman, I do tend to cut women of all ages a lot of slack. If someone has had a few babies and her body isn't looking great, she may want to cover that up. I know I probably would. But if she doesn't, more power to her. She's learning right now at 40 how to live with people's non-admiring looks, and she better get used to it now because not matter how much she covers up, eventually the world will see that she is a sagging, wrinkling, mole covered mess. I've never ever seen a woman in her 90s who wasn't. And they really ARE still beautiful but in a very different way that doesn't really photograph well at the pool.

 

:hurray::hurray::hurray:

[Remudamom]

Okay, as usual I haven't the patience to read all these answers so here's my two cents.

 

Men and/or women shouldn't sit around at family/public pools half naked. It's not good. It's especially not good for young girls to do it and for young boys to see it. By whose standards.....okay, my standards. It's no good for anyone and it's part of what is wrong with everything today. If you want to show off your body do it in private. And btw, when I was a teen I was 5'7" and 117 lbs. I didn't wear a bikini because I thought it was tacky. Who wants that kind of attention?

 

Prance around nekkid at your own pool. BTW again, I'm saddened that some of you are saddened. Be saddened about something else.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Remudamom

[HRAAB]

I personally think there is nothing sexier (in swimwear that is) than a black, one-piece with a low back. I'm think of a Grace Kelly type, you know. Much sexier than a bikini, imo. If you have a good body men are going to look. For me it's more important how a woman acts and speaks rather than the swimsuit she is wearing.

 

Janet

[mommaduck]

 

J(by Karen sn and Orthodox6)

 

The perfect holy Virgin Mary because she was God's mother or because she never had sex?

If you have a serious interest in learning about the Theotokos, feel free to PM me, and I will offer some links to information. This thread is about swimwear.

 

Way off topic. Karen's question shows a non-understanding of the issue. (from reading, both early fathers AND knowing Calvin and Luther's view on the Theotokos, much can be gleaned ;) )

[Tami]

I used to be well into the obese category, and it just carries with it a shock value on the beach. Just like if someone is super skinny, super tall, super short, or whatever. It may not be nice, or kind, but it is reality. People, and especially men (sorry guys!) are, as a whole anyway, shallow, as you well know. I hope I am wrong about this, but I don't think so.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Tami

[Orthodox6]

I fault myself somewhat, to be fair. Somebody earlier posted something way out-of-whack about the Theotokos, and I was impelled to respond. I could, and probably should, have carried it off-board.

 

 

 

[/i][/color][/i]Way off topic. Karen's question shows a non-understanding of the issue. (from reading, both early fathers AND knowing Calvin and Luther's view on the Theotokos, much can be gleaned ;) )

[OH_Homeschooler]

I used to be well into the obese category, and it just carries with it a shock value on the beach. Just like if someone is super skinny, super tall, super short, or whatever. It may not be nice, or kind, but it is reality. People, and especially men (sorry guys!) are, as a whole anyway, shallow, as you well know. I hope I am wrong about this, but I don't think so.

 

So obese people deserve to be gawked at if they dare to go out into public? An obese mother deserves to be ridiculed if she's wearing a bathing suit at the beach, where she took her kids because they begged her, just because that's the way it is?

 

Maybe that "reality" will become less so when people stop making insensitive posts like this.

 

Oh, and by the way, the fact that you used to be obese doesn't make it okay for you to discuss obesity like it's a disgusting illness. I used to be obese, then normal weight, and I'm obese again. I thought I'd never be here again, but geez, at least I remained sensitive to the struggle of obese people when I was normal weight.

[lionfamily1999]

I used to be well into the obese category, and it just carries with it a shock value on the beach. Just like if someone is super skinny, super tall, super short, or whatever. It may not be nice, or kind, but it is reality. People, and especially men (sorry guys!) are, as a whole anyway, shallow, as you well know. I hope I am wrong about this, but I don't think so.

Sweeping generalization. Lots of people aren't shallow, lots of people couldn't care less about what someone is wearing, whether or not they're fat, skinny, tall or short. Lots of people reserve their judgements for the person's character. Most of the men I know dislike super thin women, preferring the figures of those that have a. some meat on their bones, b. something "going on," and c. curves curves curves.

 

It's funny, because I do not think that someone deserves to be ogled just for existing. Now, if you're talking about some overly loud, overly obnoxious person, sure, they WANT to be ogled. Some mom, that wants to have a nice day with her family, not so much.

[cmarango]

I certainly enjoyed a few good laughs reading this thread.

 

Here's my perspective:

 

My husband is from South America and I think that he would die if I didn't wear a bikini. Most of the swimsuits we find in the US he thinks that the bottom portion looks like a diaper and finds it rather appalling. So, most of my suits have been bought down south where the fabric is a bit less and the shape is more flattering (something that wasn't super easy for me to get used to). How's that for a different viewpoint? My husband believes that every woman sporting the "diaper look" is rather indecent. :lol:

 

I hope that I don't offend anyone at the beach/pool now that I am 5 months pregnant, but my bikini is certainly more comfortable than all of those maternity suits.

 

Christina

[OnTheBrink]

It does not matter.

It just affects the way some people view sexuality.

The perfect holy Virgin Mary because she was God's mother or because she never had sex?

 

I love Mary because she raised an amazing Jewish boy.

Her sexuality matters not to me.

But it has influenced deeply mankind and the views that spring forth from the virgin birth.

 

I personally believe Mary was a regular person, whom God found favor with (he also found favor with Noah and a few other OT folks). He chose her to bear His child. She herself called God her savior, so to me, that indicates she was not sinless. There is no place in Scripture that indicates she was sinless; that comes from Catholic tradition. I realize some hold tradition as sacred as scripture, but I personally don't (not judging those who do). Therefore, it matters not to me if she had other children. I personally think she did and that she and Joseph had normal marital relations. I don't think that's blasphemous or sinful. Sexual relations are commanded in Scripture in marriage--to say Mary and Joseph shouldn't have or didn't have relations is contrary to other Scriptures that talk about marriage.

 

Personally, the only truth I consider to be Truth is Scripture itself. I while I might agree with many fathers of the faith, I don't hold their convictions or beliefs as infallible truth; just Scripture. Man is imperfect--all men, all women, all children, are imperfect and fallible. Therefore, I formulate my beliefs on Scripture only.

 

But, in the final analysis, God doesn't concern Himself with whether people believe Mary was sinless or a virgin her whole life. It's not a salvation issue--conversely, it seems to be more of a bone of contention and a reason to fuss among believers. I realize Catholics and Orthodox believers believe the opposite of what I do, and that's ok. I don't need to be "right" about this. It's a minor I don't wish to major in.

[KingM]

Most of the men I know dislike super thin women, preferring the figures of those that have a. some meat on their bones, b. something "going on," and c. curves curves curves.

 

 

Yes, that's how I am.

 

But I don't get too worked up about body types. Human bodies are each beautiful in their way. Men, women, young, old.

 

I remember seeing an old man in Mexico who was probably a foot shorter than I am, skin like leather. His face was so interesting and wise-looking I wanted to just look at it for a while, but resisted out of politeness.

[mommaduck]

I fault myself somewhat, to be fair. Somebody earlier posted something way out-of-whack about the Theotokos, and I was impelled to respond. I could, and probably should, have carried it off-board.

eh, it wasn't directed at you...more of, I'm not getting what her being Mother of God or an ever Virgin has to do with swimming. But then, I would have to go reread that part of the thread. I'm tired and need a nap :lol:

[Murphy101]

I personally think there is nothing sexier (in swimwear that is) than a black, one-piece with a low back. I'm think of a Grace Kelly type, you know. Much sexier than a bikini, imo. If you have a good body men are going to look. For me it's more important how a woman acts and speaks rather than the swimsuit she is wearing.

 

Janet

 

:iagree: And for the longest time that's the only kind I'd wear.

 

 

I hope that I don't offend anyone at the beach/pool now that I am 5 months pregnant, but my bikini is certainly more comfortable than all of those maternity suits.

 

Well my dh isn't from south america and he'd agree. he's a bit horrified that because we have kids all the bathing suits look like what his grandma used to wear. He's just not ready to have a wife that wears what his grandma used to where and is very resistant to the idea.

 

And I totally agree about the maternity suimsuits. Heaven help the 9 month mom who needs to pee every 30 minutes because I have no idea how they get those maternity suits off in time!:lol:

 

 

Side note after glancing at a few of the back pages...

 

How the blue blazes did the Virgin Mary and the Roman Catholic Church get dragged into this?!:blink:

[AuntieM]

Just wanted to toss in a book recommendation (one I picked up from another thread here a while back) that some of you may find interesting, given aspects of this conversation.

 

It's titled Why Beauty Matters, by Karen Lee-Thorpe and Cynthia Hicks. I picked it up to investigate the whole frumpy-equals-virtuous pov, and found it rather interesting. It has obvious Christian content, but only after examining the issue with much research from evolutionary psychology.

 

And FWIW, if I felt comfortable in a bikini, I just might wear one. But it would have to be bigger than teeny.... So for now, I'll stick with my one-piece toddler wrangler!!!

Edited July 7, 2009 by AuntieM