Moms & bikinis (slight rant, and a LITTLE tmi)

[Mrs Mungo]

But yet other cultures have don't problems with bare body parts that would get people thrown in jail here. The men don't seem to have hang-ups about it. They are taught from an early age that that's just a normal body and normal dress (or undress :D) These cultures also usually have a better acceptance of nursing as a natural function.

 

Maybe it's not so much a visual attraction as a forbidden attraction for men.

 

I think it's also (as someone else said) that they see a whole range of normal bodies. Where we lived in Germany it was quite common to see old ladies (with old lady breasts, not old ladies who had undergone surgery) laying out topless at the pool. It's not like a bunch of Angelina Jolies laying around the pool, they are normal women. I think this is part of the reason so many women in the US have undergone some sort of surgical enhancement. In our social circle I would estimate *at least* 1 out of 4 women have had some sort of cosmetic surgery. It's not always obvious, either.

[Elaine]

She's not kidding. I've seen the pictures, and Elaine looks amazing in a bikini.

My son might be embarrassed, but I'm just plain envious.

 

:D

 

Awww thanks, Crissy.:001_smile:

 

 

The truth is, I only wear my suit fully uncovered when I am attempting to get a tan. (I say attempting because I turn a lovely shade of red and then white again.:glare:) When I am going to and from the car or walking on the beach collecting shells or playing volleyball with the kids, I usually wear a little dress or shorts over my suit. I am really not about "if you got it flaunt it" I just like to look tan and healthy. So I doubt your boys would be embarrassed if we ran into them at the pool.:001_smile:

[Elaine]

Thanks guys! Seriously - I'm going in!!! I'm so used to sitting on the side of the pool with a book while dh swims with the kids. But, I WILL do it!! (And, I have a two-piece! It's a tankini, but it's two pieces!! LOL)

 

Jennifer, I am sure that you will look lovely. Just hope that you don't run into Higher Education.:tongue_smilie:

[stephanie]

I don't want to turn this into a spiritual debate, but I consider myself a happy follower of Christ who absolutely believes that there are balances to every part of life. I am 5' tall and 105# and I AM a mom of 4 who wears a bikini. Is my body exactly like I want it? No, it never was. Do I have marks of childbirth? Yes, but I do have children. I don't walk around, strutting in my bikini, but I will lay out in it at the beach or a resort. I don't think there's any shame in being in a bathing suit that's appropriately worn at the appropriate place. I too have girls who I am trying my best to raise to be Godly women, but that's not just in my bathing suit that I choose. There are so many other aspects that involve raising girls to be virtuous that I can't solely nit-pick one thing. When I choose my suit I involve my entire family. We are usually all together anyway, but I try it on and let dh and my girls see me in it before I buy it. I want their opinion on it. If my girls think it's too revealing then I don't get it, but they usually don't because you can be appropriate in a bikini. I workout at least 5 days per week, I watch what I eat (with the exception of some cereals), and I always have. Just because I'm 36, a mother, and a Christian, doesn't mean that I can't wear a bikini appropriately. I just felt like I had to put a shout out for the moms who do wear bikinis, but still have morals!:D

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

What I have struggled with on this thread isn't the "bikini factor". It's the implication in some of the posts that no woman over a certain age should appear in a swimsuit (of any kind) anywhere public if they have children or less than perfect bodies. To do so, would be morally or more importantly it seems, aesthetically offensive to the posters. They have a right to be at the pool, others don't.

 

Yah, I guess Highereducation is right. Some of the posts have hit a nerve with me. Unkindness, cattiness, along with heavy dose of judgement-passing in the same sentence as "morality" usually do puzzle me.

 

I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being "unkind," "catty," or "judgemental." This was just my opinion because I have seen this bikini-trend become more and more prevalant the last few years. And if it sounds judgemental for me to say that I don't like it, well....too bad.

 

Why is it wrong for me to say that I find something "aesthetically offensive?" Do I have to like everything I see? Well, I'm sorry, I don't. And, in my opinion, if it were me who others thought was being aesthetically offensive, I would hope someone would tell me.

 

I never said certain people didn't have a right to be at the pool. They have the right to wear whatever they want (obviously) and I have the right to say I don't like what their wearing.

 

I just feel like this is another example where some people have an "anything goes" attitude and then they insult or accuse others of being old fashioned if they don't agree with them. Why is it ok for you to make fun of my values but I'm not allowed to say anything that goes against yours? I have conservative values, and this is how I raise my children. It's hard for me when others with (obvious) opposing values are flaunting it in my face at a place (like a family pool) where I should expect my children to play freely without having to avert their eyes.

 

And I'm sorry if (as a newbie) I've inadvertantly resurrected a thread that obviously been discussed before. Next time just link me to the old thread and we can avoid rehashing all of this over again.

[Crissy]

Next time just link me to the old thread and we can avoid rehashing all of this over again.

 

 

Heh.

Agree or disagree, that's just not going to happen. We're rehashing sort of group.

 

It's just one of those things, Mrs. F. We still love you even if you don't wear a bikini. :D

 

(BTW, I haven't worn a bikini since I was 15. Nobody needs to see *this* ;))

Edited July 7, 2009 by Crissy

[Crissy]

Awww thanks, Crissy.:001_smile:

 

 

I doubt your boys would be embarrassed if we ran into them at the pool.:001_smile:

 

 

I doubt they would, too, but me and my long sleeves and pants would still be envious.:lol:

[OnTheBrink]

I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being "unkind," "catty," or "judgemental." This was just my opinion because I have seen this bikini-trend become more and more prevalant the last few years. And if it sounds judgemental for me to say that I don't like it, well....too bad.

 

Why is it wrong for me to say that I find something "aesthetically offensive?" Do I have to like everything I see? Well, I'm sorry, I don't. And, in my opinion, if it were me who others thought was being aesthetically offensive, I would hope someone would tell me.

 

I never said certain people didn't have a right to be at the pool. They have the right to wear whatever they want (obviously) and I have the right to say I don't like what their wearing.

 

I just feel like this is another example where some people have an "anything goes" attitude and then they insult or accuse others of being old fashioned if they don't agree with them. Why is it ok for you to make fun of my values but I'm not allowed to say anything that goes against yours? I have conservative values, and this is how I raise my children. It's hard for me when others with (obvious) opposing values are flaunting it in my face at a place (like a family pool) where I should expect my children to play freely without having to avert their eyes.

 

And I'm sorry if (as a newbie) I've inadvertantly resurrected a thread that obviously been discussed before. Next time just link me to the old thread and we can avoid rehashing all of this over again.

 

I completely agree with you.

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

Heh.

Agree or disagree, that's just not going to happen. We're rehashing sort of group.

 

It's just one of those things, Mrs. F. We still love you even if you don't wear a bikini. :D

 

(BTW, I haven't worn a bikini since I was 15. Nobody needs to see *this* ;))

 

 

 

Awww, thanks. I guess I'll see you at the pool. You'll recognize me as the crazy lady passing out x-x large t-shirts to all those "inappropriate" people. ;)

[Bess]

I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being "unkind," "catty," or "judgemental." This was just my opinion because I have seen this bikini-trend become more and more prevalant the last few years. And if it sounds judgemental for me to say that I don't like it, well....too bad.

 

Why is it wrong for me to say that I find something "aesthetically offensive?" Do I have to like everything I see? Well, I'm sorry, I don't. And, in my opinion, if it were me who others thought was being aesthetically offensive, I would hope someone would tell me.

 

I never said certain people didn't have a right to be at the pool. They have the right to wear whatever they want (obviously) and I have the right to say I don't like what their wearing.

 

I just feel like this is another example where some people have an "anything goes" attitude and then they insult or accuse others of being old fashioned if they don't agree with them. Why is it ok for you to make fun of my values but I'm not allowed to say anything that goes against yours? I have conservative values, and this is how I raise my children. It's hard for me when others with (obvious) opposing values are flaunting it in my face at a place (like a family pool) where I should expect my children to play freely without having to avert their eyes.

 

And I'm sorry if (as a newbie) I've inadvertantly resurrected a thread that obviously been discussed before. Next time just link me to the old thread and we can avoid rehashing all of this over again.

 

Well, I agree with you if that helps. ;) There is another thread going on now making fun of old men in speedos. Why is it okay to vent one's disgust over *that*, but one can't vent their disgust over the other??? They are the same thing.

[Miss Marple]

I agree! I often wonder if the moms who wear bikinis in front of their teenage sons and friends would feel comfortable wearing their undergarments in front of the same kiddos. In reality, many women's undergarments cover more than bikinis. Although I'm sure there are those who would be comfortable doing that ...

 

something along the lines of moms should be more wholesome than that just because they're moms

I think I know what you are saying here. I don't want my boys to worry that their friends are oogling their mother (whether they are or aren't isn't the point) even though I would look better in a bikini than 80% of the women who do wear them . Somehow a conversation with the words "mom" and "hot" in the same sentence just doesn't seem appropriate. And, after spending a week at a Boy Scout Camp,I know that boys *do* talk that way - even the "nice" ones.

Edited July 7, 2009 by CynthiaOK

[Crissy]

I guess I'll see you at the pool.

 

Nope. I'll see you at the park or the museum, where nobody will think twice about me wearing jeans and a t-shirt. :)

Edited July 7, 2009 by Crissy

[Mrs Mungo]

I

I never said certain people didn't have a right to be at the pool. They have the right to wear whatever they want (obviously) and I have the right to say I don't like what their wearing.

 

You are certainly welcome to your opinion. However, as I said, other people have the right to *their* opinion as well. This right to an opinion is a two-way street. If you state a strong opinion, don't be surprised if you face strong opposition.

 

I just feel like this is another example where some people have an "anything goes" attitude and then they insult or accuse others of being old fashioned if they don't agree with them. Why is it ok for you to make fun of my values but I'm not allowed to say anything that goes against yours?

You are allowed to say whatever you want (within reason). Other people are *also* allowed to state their opinion and say that you come across as catty, judgmental and/or old fashioned.

 

I have conservative values, and this is how I raise my children. It's hard for me when others with (obvious) opposing values are flaunting it in my face at a place (like a family pool) where I should expect my children to play freely without having to avert their eyes.

This "conservative" word can mean so many things. Labels are tricky. We're a Christian, military, homeschooling family. I think we have fairly "conservative" values. One of those is to not worry about the motes in everyone's eyes, I have plenty of my own fleshy, sin-nature problems to worry about.

 

Women aren't "flaunting" their opposing values in your face by wearing a swimsuit to the pool. That is ridiculous! They are wearing what they are comfortable in. If it bothers you so much then maybe you need a backyard pool where you can control the environment. I have a friend who does this. When she has a pool party she puts out guidelines on swimwear. Some people will not attend her pool parties because they get offended. I don't get offended at what she wants to happen at her house, I own several swimsuits and wear something with more coverage. Her house-her choice. At a public pool? You don't get to control what I wear. You can complain about it but you cross the line when you make accusations about my intentions.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Mrs Mungo
tiny typo

[Karen in CO]

:iagree:I agree, especially if they have stringy unmentionables showing. Just say no to crack.

Stringy unmentionables are bad, but my white cotton ones showing are okay -right?

[Mrs Mungo]

I agree! I often wonder if the moms who wear bikinis in front of their teenage sons and friends would feel comfortable wearing their undergarments in front of the same kiddos. In reality, many women's undergarments cover more than bikinis.

 

Speak for yourself. ;) My undergarments don't cover more than my bikini. Perhaps we're lacking some of the context necessary to make these judgments?

[runninmommy]

I was wondering about this the other day when I went to the pool.

 

I am a conservative.

 

I am modest.

 

I am a christian.

 

I don't wear shorts or dresses shorter than my knees. Don't wear spaghetti straps or thin tank tops.

 

My daughter is not allowed to wear spaghetti straps or tank tops or shorts shorter than her knees. (She does wear tank tops to work outside but we live in the middle of nowhere and no one sees her)

 

But..I wore a bikini to the pool because, well, it is the pool and that is what I am comfortable in. I never thought other women would think those things you posted about me just because I am a mom.

 

I weigh 105, am 5'4 and I have a lot of muscles and am pretty toned up. I work hard to stay in shape and I am not ashamed of my body. (and, I have had 3 kids)

 

But, I noticed that every time I go to the pool, I get dirty looks from other moms. I want to think that they are not judging me based on what I am wearing but now, based on your post, I have a whole new idea of what they are thinking. They are judgmental and one-sided and have pre-conceived notions on what is a good role model or what a good mom should look like.

No wonder I can not make friends there. They are too busy judging me and hating me and shooting dirty looks.

 

I don't hang out all over and do not look like a tramp but I guess that would be beside the point. I guess all bikinis are immoral.

Edited July 7, 2009 by runninmommy

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

 

I think I know what you are saying here. I don't want my boys to worry that their friends are oogling their mother (whether they are or aren't isn't the point) even though I would look better in a bikini than 80% of the women who do wear them . Somehow a conversation with the words "mom" and "hot" in the same sentence just doesn't seem appropriate. And, after spending a week at a Boy Scout Camp,I know that boys *do* talk that way - even the "nice" ones.

 

 

Thanks for the backup. That's exactly my point. The phrase "MILF" comes to mind. In my opinion, just the fact that there is such a phrase is a sad state of society.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Mrs. Frankweiler

[Mrs Mungo]

But, I noticed that every time I go to the pool, I get dirty looks from other moms.

 

For the record, I'm not giving you dirty looks, I'm squinting because I don't see very well. Maybe we need "I support moms wearing bikinis if they want...or one pieces...hey, it's your body" buttons to wear to the pool and make our stance clear? We could make "put on some clothes, Jezebel" buttons for you all on the other side. ;)

[runninmommy]

For the record, I'm not giving you dirty looks, I'm squinting because I don't see very well. Maybe we need "I support moms wearing bikinis if they want...or one pieces...hey, it's your body" buttons to wear to the pool and make our stance clear? We could make "put on some clothes, Jezebel" buttons for you all on the other side. ;)

 

Oh Mrs. Mungo.

 

I have missed you.

 

Thanks for the laugh.

[swimmermom3]

Okay - I gotta' say - my kids love to swim and I'm too embarassed by my body to get into a suit and go. It's stupid and I know it. I am a reasonable weight for my height, yet, I feel fat. I don't care what type of suit I'm in - I'm uncomfortable. I'm sick of it!!

 

I'm so impressed with those of you who are brave enough to show up and swim even though you don't have the "perfect" body. I don't care what you're wearing - you are much braver than I.

 

Tomorrow, I vow to take my kids to the pool and I will put on my suit and I will swim with them.

 

So, thank you. I will always remember this conversation!

 

Come on in, Jennifer, the water's warm and inviting. Have fun. Enjoy really being with your kids. :grouphug:

Edited July 7, 2009 by swimmermom3
typist malfunction as usual

[PineFarmMom]

Yes, there are those who automatically condemn those who spank. Perhaps it's because they've seen cases where it's gotten out of hand. Perhaps it's for other reasons.

 

But many others on that thread, myself included, question it's *automatic* application. Spanking, despite what another mother has told me, doesn't always work, but some think that all that means is that you need to spank more. I've learned the hard way, that's not true.

 

Yes, see, I understand that all of you "question its automatic application" or application at all, for that matter. My point is that there was just EXTREME unkindness and EXTREME rudeness in that long thread, the likes of which blew me away. Spanking is not the hill I choose to die on. It's just that I just see the hypocrisy that that was okay for some of those women to rail against spanking and anyone who chooses it but people feeling a certain way about modesty is just taboo and wrong and setting people up for horrid elderly years. Again: It's just weird stuff how it all pans out!!

 

As for modesty, my grandmother was a very dear and modest woman who shared it all when the time came that it was necessary and had breast cancer as well as some other problems that required our assistance!! She knew the limits of modesty, as does my own mother who has encouraged modesty (even when I chose against it as a teen) and knew how to deal with her own ovarian cancer.

 

I do encourage modesty and I do speak truth to my children. I suppose there are extremes on both ends of this because I've seen mothers take no more care for the modesty of their girls when they walked out of the house than they would the family pet. I think with teenage girls that is asking for trouble. We value the safety of our children. We value modesty. We also value wisdom. Those are a few factors we use in our parenting and they balance nicely! :) I think that people probably need to be cautioned of the extremes of both ends of that spectrum.

[Crystal in VA]

Oo oo oo, you know what else bugs me? (Look, I'm on a roll!)

 

WOMEN WITH PLUMBER'S CRACK!

 

Ugh--does anyone really think we want to know them that well?

 

:iagree: a friend of mine use to be really bad for this. Not only did her crack show...she wore thongs which made it look worse.

[mommaduck]

Oo oo oo, you know what else bugs me? (Look, I'm on a roll!)

 

WOMEN WITH PLUMBER'S CRACK!

 

Ugh--does anyone really think we want to know them that well?

 

:iagree:Especially when that young lady bares such by coming late and sitting in front of you at church several Sundays in a row. :glare:

 

 

 

BTW, my grandmothers were all very modest women, but they and I had no problem discussing the facts of life when needed or at appropriate times. I also breastfeed in public (hmm, know very modest muslim and jewish mamas that do also). So please don't assume that just because one is modest, wears certain swimwear, etc, takes everything to the extreme. We believe in context. There are many of us that are modest for religious reasons and that also does not always have to do with sexuality (in the fear of it sense).

 

The one woman in my life that was warped about sexuality was my mother and she wore pants (refused to wear skirts)...she couldn't talk about cycles, had to be begged into a pool no matter how modest she was, etc. Much of her issues is due to being tormented about her scarred legs growing up in a time when imperfect looks meant you were "damaged".

 

 

 

Please also note that in a previous post, I did not say that women shouldn't be allowed to xyz or whatever. I stated a personal preference (for not swimming with men other than my husband and sons) and wished more pools offered the once a week women and small children only swim. Heavens, if it was women only, I just might shoot for a tankini ;)

Edited July 7, 2009 by mommaduck

[PineFarmMom]

:iagree: my grandmothers were all very modest women, but they and I had no problem discussing the facts of life when needed or at appropriate times. I also breastfeed in public (hmm, know very modest muslim and jewish mamas that do also). So please don't assume that just because one is modest, wears certain swimwear, etc, takes everything to the extreme. We believe in context. There are many of us that are modest for religious reasons and that also does not always have to do with sexuality (in the fear of it sense).

 

.

 

Yes, exactly. There's not a broad brush to sweep across for all those who choose modesty. There's way more logic and wisdom used in this process than people are acknowledging.

[swimmermom3]

I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being "unkind," "catty," or "judgemental." This was just my opinion because I have seen this bikini-trend become more and more prevalant the last few years. And if it sounds judgemental for me to say that I don't like it, well....too bad.

 

Why is it wrong for me to say that I find something "aesthetically offensive?" Do I have to like everything I see? Well, I'm sorry, I don't. And, in my opinion, if it were me who others thought was being aesthetically offensive, I would hope someone would tell me.

 

I never said certain people didn't have a right to be at the pool. They have the right to wear whatever they want (obviously) and I have the right to say I don't like what their wearing.

 

I just feel like this is another example where some people have an "anything goes" attitude and then they insult or accuse others of being old fashioned if they don't agree with them. Why is it ok for you to make fun of my values but I'm not allowed to say anything that goes against yours? I have conservative values, and this is how I raise my children. It's hard for me when others with (obvious) opposing values are flaunting it in my face at a place (like a family pool) where I should expect my children to play freely without having to avert their eyes.

 

Mrs. F., I didn't say you were old-fashioned and I didn't make fun of your values or the way you are raising you children. Please re-read this part of my post:

 

 

I can understand being uncomfortable in the presence of someone exposing more than you, your dh, or your children are comfortable with if that is in accordance to your values.

 

 

I meant this very respectfully. I have a great deal of respect for a statement that goes something like,

 

"Tiny bikinis make me very uncomfortable. They go against our family's values of modesty."

 

However, "I have a perfect size 4, bikini-ready body that I would never expose in a bikini because I have strong sense of morality. And hey, did you see that past 40, overweight, woman on the way to lap swim. Gross! She is totally offending my very Christian and highly aesthetic sensibilities."

 

Now that statement might be suspect.

[Joanne]

I am still saddened at the words, ideas, assumptions and descriptions in this thread.

 

I didn't leave my sexuality in the labor room. I see no need to bifurcate my sexual side and my "mom" side. It's all me.

 

The continued emphasis on "family" pools or "pure" children baffle me.

 

I have sex. I wash clothes. I have a few paid for jobs and many paid in hugs, kisses and love notes. I sleep, participate on message boards (dowb to 2 after all these years). I write. I dream of publishing a book on parenting and cashing in the Main Event.

 

I am not responsible for keeping glimpses of my mommy body from your son or as a role model to YOUR liking for your daughter. I am not less Godly, less of a mother.

 

I am currently at one of my jobs in a polo shirt and pants; several men think I am "all that" in spite of my size, frizzy curls and age. I feel good and fine about that and my husband loves it.

 

You know, I immersed myself in motherhood and wifedom for 10 years. I might have shared some of the less extreme but modest sentiments in this thread back then.

 

Today? No thanks. I'll take my fun, flirty, happy whole woman self and be a terrific sister, mother, daughter, wife and Christian.

 

And you can keep your arbitrary standards; they are meaningless to me.

[Leah]

Okay - I gotta' say - my kids love to swim and I'm too embarrassed by my body to get into a suit and go. It's stupid and I know it. I am a reasonable weight for my height, yet, I feel fat. I don't care what type of suit I'm in - I'm uncomfortable. I'm sick of it!!

 

I'm so impressed with those of you who are brave enough to show up and swim even though you don't have the "perfect" body. I don't care what you're wearing - you are much braver than I.

 

Tomorrow, I vow to take my kids to the pool and I will put on my suit and I will swim with them.

 

So, thank you. I will always remember this conversation!

 

Isn't this true!?! I won't wear a bikini, but I love hearing from all of you who just put that suit on and get in the pool! I need to be able to do that and all of you who express that you really, truly don't look down on all of us who are less than stunning in a suit are appreciated. :)

[Mrs Mungo]

OK, I feel the need to add that when I'm swimming laps I wear a one-piece speedo suit. I used to be a lifeguard, I have a strong stroke. My booKs *would* pop out of my bikini if I was swimming laps. I have laps-swimsuits and sunning-on-the-beach swimsuits. :D ETA: I've never had a booK pop out, just to clarify, lol. However, I *have* seen a lady lose her tankini top due to not knowing how to stand in a strong wave combined with a suit that was too loose.

[mamato4girls]

Can I hijack for a minute- what about Men and speedo's? We have a neighbor who wears them, and he does NOT have the body for it. I do NOT want my girls seeing that. Uh yuck!

But yes, I agree some people have lost their mirrors, and others think they "got it" and flaunt it. It is hard to teach your girls modesty with that around.

[mommaduck]

Can I hijack for a minute- what about Men and speedo's? We have a neighbor who wears them, and he does NOT have the body for it. I do NOT want my girls seeing that. Uh yuck!

But yes, I agree some people have lost their mirrors, and others think they "got it" and flaunt it. It is hard to teach your girls modesty with that around.

 

There is a thread on that.

[Crissy]

I am not responsible for keeping glimpses of my mommy body from your son or as a role model to YOUR liking for your daughter. I am not less Godly, less of a mother.

 

 

 

Because I am the poster who brought a teenage son into the conversation, I feel the need to reiterate that I do not feel that is it your responsibility to adjust your lifestyle for my son. If he feels uncomfortable *I* will make sure he is removed to a place that is more appropriate for him.

[sagira]

But yet other cultures have don't problems with bare body parts that would get people thrown in jail here. The men don't seem to have hang-ups about it. They are taught from an early age that that's just a normal body and normal dress (or undress :D) These cultures also usually have a better acceptance of nursing as a natural function.

 

:iagree: My ds (5 going on 6) doesn't think anything of seeing women in states of undress, as he's nursed until he was almost 4, sees me nurse his sister and has been to multiple La Leche League meetings ;) Add to that the fact that his Dad is an artist whose subjects include nudes, and our dc will be one of those kids who don't bat an eye at older women wearing bikinis :D

 

I myself have sadly graduated to tankinis because my once-flat belly actually adapts now to whether I've eaten or not (hehe) since my second child and although most people wouldn't notice, I do. However, if I thought I still looked like before dd, I would have worn bikinis. I look pretty good and dh likes to show me off :)

[LG Gone Wild]

I weigh 105

 

That alone is enough is enough to make me hate you. ;)

[happygrrl]

 

The Church, however, always has taught that St. Joseph the Foster Father was an elderly widower when the Theotokos (aka "Virgin Mary") was given into his protective care. He had children from his first marriage. The Church also rejects categorically and nonnegotiably any claim that the Ever-Virgin Mary, as she also is referenced, ever had marital relations or subsequent children.

 

 

 

Thanks, Orthodox 6. You said what I was thinking, but in a much more coherent way. :)

[swimmermom3]

Stringy unmentionables are bad, but my white cotton ones showing are okay -right?

 

"Neckwarmers" are okay - I think.:001_huh:

[Kathy in MD]

.....I suppose there are extremes on both ends of this because I've seen mothers take no more care for the modesty of their girls when they walked out of the house than they would the family pet.

 

:D Now there are some cases where that would be pretty modest. One child wrote to Ann Landers years ago because her dgm insisted that the dc's male bulldog wear pants because he was immodest. :D

 

And the there was the publicist who started a "foundation"for decency in animals after waiting at a railroad crossing next to a cattle field where the bull was working. He started it as a farce, but he was amazed at the number of people who took him seriously. Can you imagine putting pants on all your cattle, including the bulls and nursing cows. How would you cover a cow, so her calf could still nurse and nothing would ever show? Or better yet, how would you cover a hog and keep it's clothes clean :lol::lol::lol:

 

...... I think that people probably need to be cautioned of the extremes of both ends of that spectrum.

 

Now I'm being serious. My previous comments on this post were strictly for fun.

 

I typically think all extremes need to be cautioned. When extreme views are held, the valid points of others are often ignored.

 

I've learned from a lot of living that usually there are valid concerns and points to form most extreme view points. I think good decisions are often best made by considering the points of both extremes. You may not change your view on modesty, but you may make sure that modesty isn't allowed to get in the way of health. That's good. My dgm didn't have that balancing view. That could have cost my sister and me our lives. As well as an aunt and a male cousin.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Kathy in MD

[gevs4him]

Everyone is of course entitled to their opinion, but My dd of 18 and myself 45 think it is disgusting to see young and old parade around with their fat rolls. We feel that people should understand that wearing swimwear to fit your body type looks much better(ie. tankini vs bikini or swim shorts vs skimpy bottoms). We do think that confidence is important, and feeling comfortable in your swimwear(no matter what type) shows through and makes any swimwear look better on the person.

LIsa

[Kathy in MD]

Originally Posted by runninmommy

I weigh 105

 

That alone is enough is enough to make me hate you. ;)

 

Not me, I was still short when I weighed that tiny amount. :D

[Peela]

Mathew 7:5

 

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

 

That quote came to me after reading a little of this thread, and I am not even Christian.

We are all people, with feelings. The women who wear bikinis even though they have stretch marks are people with deep feelings and as women, we are all so vulnerable to how others perceive us because our culture focuses on our appearance. People handle it differently- some cover up, some work hard to look good and flaunt it,and some kind of let go and try not to care any more - but we just about all respond in some way- all trying to make the best of a difficult aspect of a culture that focuses on appearances rather than inner beauty. The woman at the pool may have a dying mother, an abusive husband, a sick child, a hard life, you just never know. Who cares about her swimming costume?

[Kathy in MD]

Mathew 7:5

 

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

 

 

 

Ouch

[swimmermom3]

OK, I feel the need to add that when I'm swimming laps I wear a one-piece speedo suit. I used to be a lifeguard, I have a strong stroke. My booKs *would* pop out of my bikini if I was swimming laps. I have laps-swimsuits and sunning-on-the-beach swimsuits. :D ETA: I've never had a booK pop out, just to clarify, lol. However, I *have* seen a lady lose her tankini top due to not knowing how to stand in a strong wave combined with a suit that was too loose.

 

I haven't worn a bikini in years, only because as Mrs. Mungo so eloquently put it, they don't work for lap swim. Well, and in Oregon one sunbathes on the beach in a sweatshirt unless one wants to die from exposure. My children are older and excellent swimmers so I haven't been to open swim in awhile.

 

I love to swim. I stayed out of the water a couple of years after acquiring sever asthma and messing up a knee, hence some serious weight -gain. I missed it. I never realized that my return to the water would actually burn someone's eye sockets.:tongue_smilie:

 

In the water, I have greater freedom of movement than on land. When I'm done with a workout, no one can leave it out for me to pick up, I don't have to do it again tomorrow if I don't want to, and it won't get dirty. It belongs to me. Self-centered- perhaps. I do know that my children and husband benefit from it. I also lap swim with all of my kids. I never thought to ask them if they were mortified. We do it as a family. When I'm by myself, I often feel a greater sense of connection with my Creator or whatever each of us connects with.

 

I could never change the minds or hearts of those of you who find my actions or those of women like me, offensive. I don't want to. You are as entitled to your opinion and disgust as I am entitled to my opinion and the right to go to the pool.

 

If I can change the mind of one woman who is reluctant to get in the water and be with her kids, or simply herself because of the scorn of others or her own self-doubt, then I'd be delighted. Life is far too short to just sit on the pool deck and observe. Please don't be the mom who isn't in the family pictures.

[Peek a Boo]

Somehow a conversation with the words "mom" and "hot" in the same sentence just doesn't seem appropriate. And, after spending a week at a Boy Scout Camp,I know that boys *do* talk that way - even the "nice" ones.

 

No, the "nice" ones DON't talk like that. When they are led by MEN who are actively training them in how to respond morally in a situation, THAT kind of talk does NOT come up.

 

There are certainly Boy Scouts out there that dishonor the uniform, just as there are soldiers and cops and firefighters and priests that do unspeakable acts to other people, but just because some gilded "nice" ones show their true colors does NOT mean you can assume it across the board.

[Kathy in MD]

...... I don't want my boys to worry that their friends are oogling their mother (whether they are or aren't isn't the point) even though I would look better in a bikini than 80% of the women who do wear them . Somehow a conversation with the words "mom" and "hot" in the same sentence just doesn't seem appropriate. And, after spending a week at a Boy Scout Camp,I know that boys *do* talk that way - even the "nice" ones.

 

Sorry, but I've sat with some college boys who would talk in the same rude manner about whatever girls were coming down the cafeteria line. It didn't matter if they were dressed in jeans and tee shirt, a modest dress or a swimsuit with a tee shirt cover-up. These guys, and one in particular, would make comment. And usually it was derogatory. Being called hot would have been a compliment.

 

Don't worry, though. The girls at the table took care of it. We started talking the same way about the guys. It only took one meal, and we never heard it again.

[Mrs Mungo]

Awww, thanks. I guess I'll see you at the pool. You'll recognize me as the crazy lady passing out x-x large t-shirts to all those "inappropriate" people. ;)

 

You don't strike me as the type who would do such a thing to my face. It's easy to be this way wrapped in a cloak of anonymity on the internet.

[Reya]

For those of us, ah, gifted in certain areas, bikinis usually have more support. My idea bathing suit: bikini top under board shorts and rashguard shirt.

[asta]

Just speaking for myself here. I really, really wish more pools would have a day set aside for those that don't want to mix swim. Several across the country are doing this for Muslim and Jewish mamas...but alas, not here, even in the middle of Lancaster County!

 

Alas? Are we the United States of America? How does segregation make a country a better place to be?

 

I agree! I often wonder if the moms who wear bikinis in front of their teenage sons and friends would feel comfortable wearing their undergarments in front of the same kiddos. In reality, many women's undergarments cover more than bikinis. Although I'm sure there are those who would be comfortable doing that ...

 

Actually, my entire family doesn't have a problem with seeing each other naked. And I have a 15 yo boy. He has a wonderful sense of self and is not judgmental towards other's physiques. I believe this is in large part because we raised him that the human body is a wonderful creation that one should not be ashamed of.

 

I don't believe this entire thread is about bikinis at all; I think it is about how people treat one another. And it's sad.

 

 

asta

[Peek a Boo]

Alas? Are we the United States of America? How does segregation make a country a better place to be?

 

 

private, voluntary segregation is fine [black Miss America pageant, BSA, racial/religious criteria for private scholarships, etc]. If women [or men] choose to avail themselves of an opportunity designed explicitly for them, then that's fine.

 

It is gvt mandated and/or forced segregation that is immoral and wrong [minority set asides and racial quotas/private coercion]. If women were only allowed [ever] to swim with other women, then that ability to choose has been removed. many religious services only allow men on one side, women on the other, but worshipers are not forced by the gvt to attend those churches, and I'd bet most are there willingly. There's always some wacko who's being a fanatic spouse beater or manipulator.....:glare:

 

The ability to choose without using force on another is foundational for these United States of America.

 

but like i mentioned earlier, i do agree that this thread isn't about bikinis.

[Imprimis]

When at the beach or pool with my family, we are busy enjoying each other's company, enjoying the beauty of the day, finding seashells, splashing in the water, digging in the sand------- just having fun together. What others are wearing or how much they weigh is not even on our radar.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Imprimis

[runninmommy]

That alone is enough is enough to make me hate you. ;)

 

That's okay. I am use to it. ;)

[Tami]

For those of us, ah, gifted in certain areas, bikinis usually have more support. My idea bathing suit: bikini top under board shorts and rashguard shirt.

 

LOL! Having lost a lot of weight and having, err, reduced assets, I have found the bikini an ideal fit for my smaller figure. I was "swimming" in those swimsuit tops with the cups, and let me tell you there was way more cup than me. Now, THAT is uncomfortable. :D Frustrated, I tried on a bikini top for the first time, and I was hooked by how well it fit and supported. I'm a recent bikini convert! I'm very comfortable in a bikini top and swim shorts or swim skirt now.

 

I admire moms who stay fit -- in fact, if I saw a mom in a bikini looking all toned and fit, I would go up to her and compliment her and ask her what her workout/diet regimen looks like! Honey, I'd be taking notes not griping!