Mrs. Frankweiler Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Ok, what's going on with all these moms wearing bikinis? The first time the kids and I went to the pool this year I was feeling rather brave in my tankini, only to find most of the other females at the pool wearing bikinis (whether they should have been or not!) I'm certainly not overweight (4'11', 104 lbs) but momhood x 4 has done certain things to my midsection that I just don't want to share with the general public. Apparently this has happened to most of the other moms too. Don't these people have a mirror? If not, where are their husbands? I think dh would find a (very tactful) way to say it's time for a little more fabric rather than let me walk around town with all my "parts" hanging out. And, IMHO, even if they've dodged gravity, cellulite, & stretchmarks (or had them surgically removed), I don't think moms should be wearing bikinis in the first place. I have very good friends who do this--even my sister. And up until kid #3 I probably could have pulled it off without scaring small children. But I have a moral oppposition to showing my children that much of my skin. Apparently I'm very much in this minority in this opinion. Furthermore, why would a married woman want to show that much of themselves to others? Don't get me wrong--I'm not walking around in a burka (no offense to any burka-wearers who are reading this.) I don't mind looking good for my husband. I wear makeup, have my ears pierced (once), wear nice, fashionable clothes (I think.) I even wear shorts! (gasp!) I shave my legs and routinely wax other parts that need regular maintenance. (is that tmi?) I'm even considering "updating my BooKs" since the original once seem to have simultaneously lost several volumes and moved to a much lower shelf. I would do this to draw DH's attention (even though he constantly says he loves me the way I am.) But I would prefer not to draw anyone else's attention. (well, maybe the guy who broke my heart in high school....but that's another story!) ;) As for the tattoos....I really don't know what happened there. One day I and everyone else I know had pristine skin and the next day they're all showing off their "artwork." The only artwork I have is caused by a 2 year old run amuck with a marker, and that's not considered "cool." Have I really become that old? I'm only 35! I didn't think this would happen so soon. Am I the only one who feels like they've been living in a cave and missing all the memos on the latest trends? Please tell me I'm not the only one (and that maybe we can form a club.) Thanks for letting me vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 :lurk5: Never, ever visit the beaches of the Mediterranean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 You're right on!! :tongue_smilie: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Frankweiler Posted July 6, 2009 Author Share Posted July 6, 2009 :lurk5: Never, ever visit the beaches of the Mediterranean. Thanks for the warning. I'll keep that in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkpan Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Um, I guess that I would say that since when does a bikini require a shapely figure to wear one? I would not wear one because I think that modesty is beautiful, and because I would be self-conscious, BUT, I certainly dont believe that it is up to me what other women wear to swim in. (I am assuming that we are talking within the realm of common decency, here) In fact, I have to admit to having admiration for those women with enough self-confidence to wear whatever they wish. I wish I had their chutzpah :D Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I'm with you too. Who wants to take their sons there? My DS is still remembering a certain "scene" wear the wearer must have had huge thighs. Not to mention the skimpy bikini's caught in the crack? He mentions it in amazement. I for one don't want those scenes forever etched in my DC's memories and we don't go to public swimming places anymore. Where is the shame or dignity, or pride? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highereducation Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 IMO, a lot of the women I know are dressing/acting like they're on a reality show. Except that they're not. Maybe they figure that once they acknowledge being too old for a bikini, they actually are too old for one. In this society (where youth is king), that's the kiss of death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Modesty is highly undervalued. My hub is the only one who's earned the right to "see the goods." (OK, not that I've got anything special, LOL!) But I'm with you--where's the modesty? I understand some want to get nice tans, but still. Public pools are hard for us when I'm trying to teach my kids that their bodies are valuable, and that all their parts are personal. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 You are not alone! I also feel that the women at our church wear clothes that are too tight, and show too much leg, cleavage, form, etc. If I was a teen boy in our youth group, I'd never make it through a service without having to repent because of all the cleavage on our girls. Maybe I'm an "old foagie", but why has modesty left the planet? We want dd to wear one piece bathing suits and have really struggled finding cute ones. She 5'6" now and still growing. I think next year we will look more at the tankinis, but I know the top part will have to be very long because she is very long-waisted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I totally agree with you. I HATE going to the beach. Some people have no decency. It is especially disgusting to me to see a mom in a skimpy bikini (regardless of how her body looks, she is someone's mother) and their daughter also in one that is super skimpy. Modesty, unfortunately is gone with the wind. But, yeah, I do wonder what has happened to some people's mirrors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I'm right with you. I would also like to add that no men should be wearing Speedo's, especially the old pale, hairy,wrinkly guy who likes to lay spread eagle at the pool which is right at the entrance to my park!!! I don't want to see it, I don't want to imagine it, I don't want it within 100 yards of me!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Oo oo oo, you know what else bugs me? (Look, I'm on a roll!) WOMEN WITH PLUMBER'S CRACK! Ugh--does anyone really think we want to know them that well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I'm right with you. I would also like to add that no men should be wearing Speedo's, especially the old pale, hairy,wrinkly guy who likes to lay spread eagle at the pool which is right at the entrance to my park!!! I don't want to see it, I don't want to imagine it, I don't want it within 100 yards of me!! :iagree: A cold chill just ran down my spine.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Frankweiler Posted July 6, 2009 Author Share Posted July 6, 2009 I'm right with you. I would also like to add that no men should be wearing Speedo's, especially the old pale, hairy,wrinkly guy who likes to lay spread eagle at the pool which is right at the entrance to my park!!! I don't want to see it, I don't want to imagine it, I don't want it within 100 yards of me!! :iagree: Although I should add that my husband went to college on a diving scholarship. Sometimes he digs up old diving videos and even that hurts my eyes. It's just not a good look for men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Frankweiler Posted July 6, 2009 Author Share Posted July 6, 2009 Oo oo oo, you know what else bugs me? (Look, I'm on a roll!) WOMEN WITH PLUMBER'S CRACK! Ugh--does anyone really think we want to know them that well? :iagree:I agree, especially if they have stringy unmentionables showing. Just say no to crack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highereducation Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Older women (I'm talking 40+) who wear those low-rise, tight jeans with a thong that shows over the waistline of the jeans. I can't help wondering what that's really like on a comfort scale of 1 to 10 - a negative five? I don't see how some of them manage to sit down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria/ME Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 To the OP: Maybe they are comfortable with their bodies, warts and all and don't really care what other people think about them?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 (edited) I do think tatoos are mostly ugly and trashy, though at one point, for a long time, I thought they were cool. I even got a largish one myself. I mean, I've never seen one on a woman that enhanced her appeal, kwim? Other people's lack of modesty isn't that big a deal for me. The human body is the human body. Although an overweight, hairy man in a speedo is never OK. My problem with bikinis is the overabundance of tackiness. I like looking a nice bodies. I don't like looking at my neighbors' bodies but it doesn't annoy me. It's hard to look good in a bikini. A person would have to have to train like an elite athlete to look that good. An athlete trains 4-6 hours a day. Who can do that? So I cut people some slack if they don't look perfect. (Gently said) I wouldn't want to relegate people to Duggar swim costumes because their bodies aren't how I wish them to be. Edited July 6, 2009 by LG Gone Wild Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 At the beginning of every summer I go on and on about women (mom's or otherwise) wearing bikinis at the pool. I'm all for it if you are bikini skinny. And I would say that 99.9% of the women in a itsy bitsy bikini in my pool are not. But when you have your boobs popping out of the top and sides, your stomach jiggles and your butt is hanging out of your bottom. Seriously unattractive. I point it out to my daughter and tell her this is not the way you want to present yourself. What about children who wear bathing suits that are too tiny? I live in an affluent area and a large portion of the population drives $50,000+ cars and live in homes for well over $500,000. Can they not afford a new $10 bathing suit at Target? Children with bathing suits that give them wedgies is so unattractive. Off to the pool I go! I'm going to bury my head in a good book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I don't have an issue with a mom in a bikini. I do have issues with large women who wear them - mostly because I don't want to see all that! But, if you are a hot momma, then by all means, show it off. That said, I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini, or swimsuit of any sort. I am 5'6" and about 140 pounds which is just too much to shove in a bikini or bathing suit and feel comfortable. However, if I was a size 5 and sexy, heck yeah I would wear one! My kids will survive. I wouldn't be wearing one of the slutty ones (that are basically just a crack and nipple cover)...but a bikini like this one (if I looked like her!)... Absolutely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I get where you're coming from but it seems to be the thing to do at the YMCA pool these days. I personally like the one-pieces that suck everything back where it sorta used to be. There are lots of...ahem...larger women...that wear very revealing suits. I figure 'more power to them'. I don't think the little kids are too worried either-they're having too much fun splashing around to notice all the cellulite and saggy flesh. Hey..I'm all for a revolution...lets all go to the pool and be proud of our mass and contribution to gravity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I so do not have the self-esteem to wear a bikini any more, and I'm only 27! I almost admire all the women out there who will put one on regardless of what they look like. They've obviously gotten past a lot of my personal hang-ups. I'm trying to lose my last 10 pounds now so I can fit into this new thing they have now called a 'monokini.' Target.com has a bunch, and they look SO cute but cover up the tummy area!! Huzzah! As for tattoos, I have my two for personal reasons and will never, ever regret them, even when I'm 95 and you can no longer identify what they originally were. I get a lot of stares, but most comments are positive, especially when they find out that the ink is symbolic for me and my kids. Now... men in Speedos is still wrong unless you've got Olympic swimming ability... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I use to wear a bikini around my kids on the beach until about 4 years ago. We lived a block from the beach and my boys were raised around people with less clothes on than me. We moved inland and my oldest hit puberty. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I still wear my bikini when I am swimming without my kids. I live on a lake, so I can go lay out on the peer and swim along. I stay covered up with shirt and short when my boys are around. (ages 12 and 15) They don't wont to see their mother in a bikini (aka basically under wear) Now my DH absolutely can't stand me to wear a one piece. He wants me in a bikini.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leaird Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 This is hilarious! I have not worn a bikini in ages because of the effects of motherhood. I am small enough to wear one, but the bottoms would have to come up to my belly button to cover the stretch marks my kids blessed me with. I am way past being shocked by skimpy bikinis after our numerous vacations to Florida beaches. As soon as we walked out on the PUBLIC beach in Fort Lauderdale, my family was greeted by the site of a topless woman standing and stretching right in front of us! When I informed the lifeguard of the indecent woman, he knew and informed me that his lieutenant said it was allowed! Since when is it allowed to go topless in public? I think they just enjoyed the show too much to make her put her top back on. That is one vacation spot we will never go back to, and I encourage you all to skip as well. I still crack up when I think about the 70+ year-old man we saw jogging on the beach in a speedo thong!!! Yes, you heard me right - a THONG! My kids still remember that one too and it has been years. We bring it up every so often and all get a good laugh. :rofl: I wonder what we will see this year on vacation??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 :001_huh: If I had a moral opposition to bare skin, the last places I'd go are the beach or the pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtroad Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 How about 250 # and in a bikini with a cigarette & 12 tattoos. Sorry, but it is all over the top. I am shocked by people at pools and water parks. No modesty, no shame, and no decency. Some of it is just plain NASTY! I am a big gal... not being cruel... .but you aren't going to see me in a bikini. Where do you buy a bikini if you are a size 24? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I really admire the moms who clearly have great figures and yet choose to wear a tankini or a one piece or a skirt. I'm 5'7 and usually at 138 lbs. and I don't walk around in a two piece. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Duggar swim costumes[/b] because their bodies aren't how I wish them to be. Is it just me though or do you sometimes feel like the "homeschool community" wants us all to be this covered up? I have struggled and struggled to find my dd "appropriate" swimwear' date=' and she's only 8!!! Moms have commented to me that regular bottoms are too small and the girls should be in swim shorts and a rash guard shirt. Huh?:001_huh: My dd is terribly uncomfortable in that kind of garb and I don't think there's a reason she should have to be that covered up. If you think your teen boy can't keep his eyes to himself, then maybe he shouldn't go to the pool. I may have to cross that road when we get to it. That said, I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini, or swimsuit of any sort. I am 5'6" and about 140 pounds which is just too much to shove in a bikini or bathing suit and feel comfortable. Please tell me at that weight and height you aren't seriously saying you are too fat for a bathing suit? Seriously? I'd kill to be that small!! I am a big gal... not being cruel... .but you aren't going to see me in a bikini. Where do you buy a bikini if you are a size 24? I'm a big gal too, and wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini, but us big girls are allowed to go to the pool too, no? I can't tell you the $$$$ I've spent trying to find a suit that is reasonably comfortable, covers and holds in as much as it can, and hold the books in place. Those books are a BIG problem area. Because if they are handsomely supported, then there's cleavage and *gasp* I had better put on a shirt! I love to sun and swim, but wish I had my own pool to do it. I am so self-consious of my hideous thighs and butt and arms and all of it that it makes a trip to the pool really hard for me. But it's my kids absolute favorite activity. All that to say though, we HAVE to go to the pool. What else is there to do in the summer in this oppressive heat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I have to admit that it's not just large women in bikinis that bugs me. Well, it doesn't really bug me, I just can't figure it out when a large woman wears very little clothes. It just doesn't look good. Now, when I lived in Florida, it didn't phase me at all because it gets so darned hot that you pretty much want to not be wearing anything. But here in England it's cold pretty much all the time. It rarely gets into the 70's. And large women wear strappy tops with bellies showing and all sorts hanging out. I'm not even hugely overweight, but I don't want to show anyone that roll around my middle. It's just not a pretty sight. So why on earth do these people want to show all that? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I am happy for women who feel comfortable in their skin and whatever they want to wear to our neighborhood pool is their business. However, if you know that you are going to be in the water holding onto a skirmy toddler, you may want to consider wearing something that will stay in place- both on the bottom and the top if you know what I mean. I have teenage boys and a 20 something with a toddler whose bikini worthy breasts keep popping out of her suit due to a grabby toddler hanging on her or whose butt crack keeps showing, because the same wiggly toddler's foot keeps pushing on her pants is not something that they or I am comfortable viewing. The body and the bikini may be cute; however, exposing yourself to my 18yo is not. Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom In Missouri Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Because most people, regardless of the reality of their body **think** that they look like this gal in a bikini. But in reality they resembly my Uncle Howard that is 160 lbs overweight, smoking a Marlboro Light, painted with body art, and their midsection looks like a road map from the stretch marks. Most women have 'this' (see above) self image of their body regardless of the actual size and shape of it when flaunting this sort of attire. I'm the modesty camp. DH is the only one that has the right to see or witness the goods, therefore the skin isn't offensive but the fact that their body isn't regarded as something special for themselves and their husband amazes me. I also recognize that not everyone has that opinion or relationship--which drives home the point: We swim very little and when we do it's in a private pool or lake. The beach bunnies that hang out at the cement ponds in northwest Missouri are rarely at the pool to catch rays, but some fella's eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HFClassicalAcademy Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 If I felt like I had the same body I did before kids...I would wear a bikini (although not a skimpy one!). I think people should be more modest in their beach-ware, but totally think that it's up to them to decide what they are comfortable in. I just look away! I'm completely comfortable in my skin around my kids and family. I've always been that way and think that the bigger deal I make about nakedness and bare skin, the worse it is for my kids. I want them to accept people for who they are and how they look. I also agree that people in this country are A LOT more conservative about their bodies than they are in Europe. Liz in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I say if they have the body for it, and they enjoy showing it off, they should. I don't often see women in bikinis who make me cringe, but really overweight men going topless sure hurts my eyes. Don't *they* have a mirror? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Frankweiler Posted July 6, 2009 Author Share Posted July 6, 2009 :001_huh: If I had a moral opposition to bare skin, the last places I'd go are the beach or the pool. Oh, don't say that! I LOVE the beach and pool. I'm morally opposed to children seeing too much of their mother's skin. IMO, there are some things I don't want to know or see. You know mom has those parts....I just don't want to have them right in my face. It's the same way I feel when I think of mom and dad....um.... being affectionate. Yuck! In my (probably very prude) mind that kind of thing never happened and my sisters and I were virgin births. It doesn't bother me when I see younger, childless women at the beach if they are wearing a bathingsuit (bikini or otherwise) that is tasteful. The picture that was posted before is a great example. That woman looks terrific...but I wouldn't want to see her like that if she were my mother! This may not be a popular opinion, I just think things change when you're a mom, and walking around half-naked in public is just something that should be off limits--for the sake of the kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOM24WONDERS Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 :iagree::iagree::iagree: We don't visit public pools for this very reason. I have a 14 year old son whose mind I'd like to keep pure...not fill it with half-dressed women. We have never allowed our girls (nor would I) to wear bikinis. They wear a one piece with swim shorts over it. They are too special and precious to share their bodies with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that slinks along. My husband would have a stroke if I dressed like that. Not only would I die of embarrassment myself to be seen like that, but as he says, "That's mine!" I don't want to share my body with others and I want my daughters to only share with their husbands (and my son to be the only one who has looked on his wife). As for dressing skimpy at church, we have had a couple of young ladies come in some pretty low-cut tops. My sister and her husband are the youth leaders and they've got a pretty fail-proof plan for this. While the boys and girls are seperated and don't have class together, they do have a worship service together on Wednesday nights before going to their seperate studies. Every girl that comes is given a modesty check-list and if she shows up with a shirt that is too low, my sister has an over-sized t-shirt that she simply gives them to slip on over their top. We haven't had anyone to show up in a skirt or shorts that were too short, but she has over-sized scrub pants to handle that scenario! Let's just say, it only takes once for the girls to get the message - and she's only had to do it twice. The other girls learned pretty fast by example what is and isn't acceptable ;) Some people think that women who dress like that have more respect for themselves - that they somehow have more confidence in themselves. I see it exactly the opposite. Women who dress like that generally lack self-confidnece and they have little to no respect for themselves. If they did, they wouldn't have to dress like that to get attention. I want people to see my heart, who *I* am, not have their eyes stuck to my cleavage. I really don't believe that you can be any sort of example for Christ while dressing like that either. The Bible commands us to be modest. Again, what are they teaching their children? They are teaching their daughters that they only time they are worth something is when they are a sex object. They are teaching their sons that women aren't to be respected and are to be treated like trash. I want more for my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I really don't care what others wear at the beach. If I don't like it I look away. I'm not terribly concerned about what my kids see at the beach/pool either. I figure exposure of skin is appropriate in these settings. In the mall however, I see all sorts of clothing (on girls/women) that bothers me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 (edited) DISCLAIMER/WARNING: If you are into the adverting eyes and modesty mindset, you can pass on this post. You may find my attitude offensive. Bathing suites should not be relegated to anorexic teens, super models and Olympic swimmers. If a woman feels confident enough to walk around in a two-pieces I say "good for her." I am flabby, have stretch marks, cellulite and spider veins. And guess what? So do most women. I think a it's time to "get real" and stop hiding under the cover ups. We set a bad example for our daughters when we let society shame us into covering up because we don't look like an air-brushed model (I was one shamed and covered up teen). Stretch marks on ones belly should be badges of honor on the magnificence of the human body. Not many women look like Christy Brinkley and yet they are beautiful. Do you see men wearing cover ups on the beach or at the pool? Heck no! Why do we (women) perpetuate this misery? What can we do to change our mindset? http://www.more.com/2049/2464-jamie-lee-curtis--true-thighs Edited July 6, 2009 by NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Warning issued Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Is it just me though or do you sometimes feel like the "homeschool community" wants us all to be this covered up? I don't know. It's just not a moral issue with me. I consider myself a conservative but maybe I am really not.:tongue_smilie: Yes, there is a lot out there that is undignified and stupid but that's aesthetics and personal taste, isn't it? My dad, who is VERY conservative, VERY Catholic, is a fan of the speedo. It's just his culture. It's unfortunate but not immoral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Ok, what's going on with all these moms wearing bikinis? The first time the kids and I went to the pool this year I was feeling rather brave in my tankini, only to find most of the other females at the pool wearing bikinis (whether they should have been or not!) I'm certainly not overweight (4'11', 104 lbs) but momhood x 4 has done certain things to my midsection that I just don't want to share with the general public. Apparently this has happened to most of the other moms too. Don't these people have a mirror? If not, where are their husbands? I think dh would find a (very tactful) way to say it's time for a little more fabric rather than let me walk around town with all my "parts" hanging out. And, IMHO, even if they've dodged gravity, cellulite, & stretchmarks (or had them surgically removed), I don't think moms should be wearing bikinis in the first place. I have very good friends who do this--even my sister. And up until kid #3 I probably could have pulled it off without scaring small children. But I have a moral oppposition to showing my children that much of my skin. Apparently I'm very much in this minority in this opinion. Furthermore, why would a married woman want to show that much of themselves to others? Don't get me wrong--I'm not walking around in a burka (no offense to any burka-wearers who are reading this.) I don't mind looking good for my husband. I wear makeup, have my ears pierced (once), wear nice, fashionable clothes (I think.) I even wear shorts! (gasp!) I shave my legs and routinely wax other parts that need regular maintenance. (is that tmi?) I'm even considering "updating my BooKs" since the original once seem to have simultaneously lost several volumes and moved to a much lower shelf. I would do this to draw DH's attention (even though he constantly says he loves me the way I am.) But I would prefer not to draw anyone else's attention. (well, maybe the guy who broke my heart in high school....but that's another story!) ;) Well, I'm a mom (4 times over) and I wear bikinis. (And tankinis and one-peices, depending on the audience and the activities involved.) I have managed to dodge most gravity-related issues, most cellulite and I guess I'm just lucky I didn't get stretch marks. I work out every day and have a handle on my food choices. At 38, I know there are probably not a lot more years in my life when I can wear a bikini. I figure I am happy enough with how I look to wear one and so I do. :001_smile: My sister-in-law was wearing a great bikini this past weekend. She is 38, too, and just announced her 4th pregnancy. She works out hard and she looks fantastic (no surgery, either). IMO, if she wants to show off her hard work and can look that great doing it, more power to her. I don't see why the teenagers should hog all the fun. If you can and you are comfortable with it, then I see nothing wrong. P.S. Loved the "updating the BooKs". That had me :lol: And I can promise my books are not bestsellers like they were 4 kids ago, but with adequate upper bikini coverage, I can go with the "streamlined" look pretty well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria/ME Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Bathing suites should not be relegated to anorexic teens' date=' super models and Olympic swimmers. If a woman feels confident enough to walk around in a two-pieces I say "good for her." I am flabby, have stretch marks, cellulite and spider veins. And guess what? So do most women. I think a it's time to "get real" and stop hiding under the cover ups. We set a bad example for our daughters when we let society shame us into covering up (I was one shamed and covered up teen). Stretch marks on ones belly should be badges of honor on the magnificence of the human body. Not many women look like Christy Brinkley and yet they are beautiful. Do you see men wearing cover ups on the beach or at the pool? Heck no! Why do we (women) perpetuate this misery? What can we do to change our mindset? http://www.more.com/2049/2464-jamie-lee-curtis--true-thighs[/quote'] I could not agree more with this statement and these questions. Something needs to change, and it starts with US. While the baring of too much flesh can seemingly be inappropriate for young people, if it's in the context of a beach/pool doesn't that make sense? (As opposed to a mall as someone pointed out) While not everyone wants to see everyone else hang out all over, shouldn't we view this as natural in the human body instead of cowering away from it and finding it impure or shameful? Not the prettiest picture maybe, but a natural one. And yes, some people do take it too far. Obviously. But perhaps we can take it too far the other way, too? Cover up excessively and deny that our parents/youth/neighbors actually have normal bodies full of cellulite, fat, flab, spider veins and dare I say? BREASTS! Not breasts that are flattened and covered in a bathing suit, but breasts that actually behave as breasts. Just like flab behaves as flab. You can only cover and scrunch so much of it. Or you can look like your trying hard to cover it and look mighty strange and uncomfortable. While I don't want myself or my daughter to over sexualize our bodies, I certainly wouldn't want us to try to cover them up NEEDLESSLY lest someone see a protrusion of flesh that is normal. And will I gross someone out? Probably. But maybe they need to change what they think of as gross. Kinda like shaving my legs....or not...but that is another story.... This could go 'round and 'round forever....each to his own...culture and upbringing play a part. One may need to find a new beach/pool if one is so outraged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I wear a bikini. I just like the look of them and, since I am well-endowed on top and tiny waisted, I have a terrible time finding one-pieces that fit me. DH thinks I look great in a bikini, and since I feel comfortable in them too, I couldn't care less what others think of me. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria/ME Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 depending on the audience and the activities involved. :iagree: I think this is a good point. It depends on various factors as to what you wear to the beach/pool and YOU have the sense to regulate that. However, others don't have the sense to regulate and it's probably those people that the OP finds so difficult! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Understand your drift, but it doesn't fit reality. An inclination toward modesty should not translate into "therefore stay home, guys." We can avoid nudist colonies, but there are no "modest swimming pools" available. All we can do is to wear modest swimwear ourselves and educate our sons and daughters to internalize our family-chosen outlooks. What other people do is their own business; we just have to be as careful as we can as inhabitants of the world. :001_huh: If I had a moral opposition to bare skin, the last places I'd go are the beach or the pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Well, I'm a mom (4 times over) and I wear bikinis. (And tankinis and one-peices, depending on the audience and the activities involved.) I have managed to dodge most gravity-related issues, most cellulite and I guess I'm just lucky I didn't get stretch marks. I work out every day and have a handle on my food choices. At 38, I know there are probably not a lot more years in my life when I can wear a bikini. I figure I am happy enough with how I look to wear one and so I do. :001_smile: My sister-in-law was wearing a great bikini this past weekend. She is 38, too, and just announced her 4th pregnancy. She works out hard and she looks fantastic (no surgery, either). IMO, if she wants to show off her hard work and can look that great doing it, more power to her. I don't see why the teenagers should hog all the fun. If you can and you are comfortable with it, then I see nothing wrong. P.S. Loved the "updating the BooKs". That had me :lol: And I can promise my books are not bestsellers like they were 4 kids ago, but with adequate upper bikini coverage, I can go with the "streamlined" look pretty well. You must be related to my former neighbor, Megan the Magnificent. :tongue_smilie: No kidding. She had three HUGE babies during the five years she was my neighbor. My girlfriends would just marvel at her figure. She would have a baby and be back in (marvelous) shape in a matter of a month!! I would see her outside in shorts and a cute fitted top and I'd call my husband out to see her just to make sure she wasn't a mirage....! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwinMominTX Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Turn in your passport. If you don't like all shapes and sizes in swimsuits, do not ever plan a trip to the French Riviera. Of course, you will miss out on seeing some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, but at least you won't be exposed to someones less than perfect breasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 (edited) :001_huh: If I had a moral opposition to bare skin, the last places I'd go are the beach or the pool. :D I know, right? Maybe mommies should check their sexuality at the door as not to offend anyone. Swimming with in long sleeved dresses and long tops is so 1880s. ;) "Mommy, look, that woman has *breasts!*. Oh, mommy, help! Look at that ugly old man in his bathing suit, and the woman near him! She's fat *and ugly!" "Oh, honey!! Don't look! Old, fat people have no business at the beach! It burns our eyes. Now, lets go get ready for church". Edited July 6, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Turn in your passport. If you don't like all shapes and sizes in swimsuits, do not ever plan a trip to the French Riviera. Of course, you will miss out on seeing some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, but at least you won't be exposed to someones less than perfect breasts. I said that in post #2. :auto: Plus the children! Won't anyone think of the children! They are naked. Or maybe in speedos --both boys and girls! The upside is there is need to worry about outgrown suits and baby butt cracks! You can skip the new toddler bathing suit and get the 50K SUV! Yeah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkpan Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 (edited) Understand your drift, but it doesn't fit reality. An inclination toward modesty should not translate into "therefore stay home, guys." We can avoid nudist colonies, but there are no "modest swimming pools" available. All we can do is to wear modest swimwear ourselves and educate our sons and daughters to internalize our family-chosen outlooks. What other people do is their own business; we just have to be as careful as we can as inhabitants of the world. I do agree with this, but I would go a step further and encourage us to quit judging everyone else and being of the mind that we get to decide who is worthy of certain beach attire. I believe that modesty is SO much more beautiful and attractive, but it seems to me that women are so hostile to each other and pushing one another towards that look of perfection that is unrealistic for most women and girls. (Truly, I believe that most men are more accepting of female flaws than other women are!!) There are two different issues here - dressing modestly out of self-respect and consideration of others, and those that feel that less than fit bodies should be as completely covered up as possible. Just relax and enjoy the water :chillpill::D Kim Edited July 6, 2009 by bkpan typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I don't nor will I ever wear a bikini. We don't allow dd to wear them, nor does her own sense of modesty allow it. However, for us, it's a personal thing. Unless someone is wearing a bikini that is beyond the bounds of social modesty (thong) or the person looks like a half-opened can of biscuits, I don't get overly offended when I see them in a bikini. I figure it's their business. I have discussed with dc before the grotesqueness of some of the choices of people we've seen just because of alllll the extra baggage crammed into the small bikini (blech!), but for the most part it's not something we see regularly, so it doesn't seem to affect us that often. We went to the public pool last week, and I was pleasantly surprised by all of the modest bathing suits we saw. :) At this point, I'm mildly overweight. If I was perfectly toned, I'd still not wear one due to modesty issues and respect for my dh. I belong to him and honor him with the clothing choices that I make. We tend to guide dd in that thinking also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 (edited) I viote burqas for old men and fat women. Make it the law! Then everyone will be safe and pure. Edited July 7, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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