Which would you be ok giving up?

[DawnM]

Just now, Lecka said:

The contractor sounds great!!!!!!!

 

I hope you can find something you like — it sounds limited in your area right now.  That is too bad! 

The good news is that my current neighborhood is selling within days.   I looked at sold properties in my neighborhood and they sold in between 0-3 days.   And for way more than I would have imagined, so we may make out pretty good.

[BusyMom5]

I would compromise on 5 bedrooms as long as I had 2 living spaces.   We have s large family and just one living room would be hard!  

[Scarlett]

23 minutes ago, DawnM said:

Well, we could take out a small mortgage if we had to, or we could tap into some other resources (like my inheritance from my parents).   It would still be a huge savings.

I think that makes it even harder to wrap your mind around downsizing. Because in the back of your mind, you know that you don’t really have to downsize. But the same time I know you guys want to make a really good financial decision. Youhave lots of options and I know something will work out good for you.. 

[Lecka]

My honest thought is — your husband is an accountant, see if he can give a price range and then stick to that unless you really cannot be happy for that price range.  And then that is fair if that is the situation.  

[Corraleno]

I would (and did) compromise on ceiling height. After my divorce, I downsized from a custom built home with large rooms and high ceilings (9' to 14') to a 1970s split level with small rooms and low ceilings. My #1 priority was location — it had to be within 10 minutes of the activities my kids would be involved in, and properties within that range were selling for over asking price the minute they hit the market. I only had a week to look at houses, so when I found one in an absolutely perfect location, on a quiet side street with a large sunny yard (super rare in this area), I jumped on it. I did miss the high ceilings at first, but after a few months I got used to it and now it doesn't bother me at all.

[Carol in Cal.]

If I were you I would list out the functions I want in each room and then think about whether two rooms’ functions could be combined.  For instance, I have an old house with a big dining room.  We use it as a family room but we have it set up so that it can easily be transformed into a big dining room for those few occasions when we have a lot of company over.  Also, we have a living room that has only one door (actually a pair of adjacent French doors) that is off the main hall from the main house entrance.  It’s a lovely living room, but it’s also very easy to push the furniture closer to the walls and put in an inflatable king sized luxury air mattress for company, and just throw it behind the couch during the day.  Voila, an extra guest room.  These are workable because although we want those functions, we don’t use them very often.  

Would I love to have a much bigger house with a separate guest room, and with a dining room AND a family room?  Sure.  Is this a workable compromise?  Again sure.  Specifically because of the infrequency of using those functions and the care I have taken to preserve a relatively easy way to do so.

Regarding the ceilings, I would never compromise on ceiling height.  Around here that means usually older homes.  For me it’s not about just the ceiling height, but rather about the proportions.  I can’t put an exact number on it, but if I walk into a room and the proportions feel ‘off’ to me, I hate being in it, and that feeling gets worse rather than better over time.  Sometimes it’s too low of a ceiling but once it was a ceiling that was too high for the footprint of the room.  Clerestory windows do that to me as well.  I hate the feeling of seeing that there is a window but not being able to see out of it, in the manner of a kid who is still too short to see like a grown up.  Absolutely hate it.  So I would totally hang tough on that.It’s not something that could easily be changed.

[catz]

I can see why you are having a hard time with this list.  I'd have no problem giving up a pool and acreage.  Especially if you are both working full time.  I'd look at number of bedrooms.  You need 5 bedrooms PLUS a den?  If you need that many bedrooms, maybe it isn't time to downsize?

If I really was thinking in terms of flexibility, instead of thinking things like "I need a den" and "I need a dining room", I might be thinking "Do we have a place to feed the whole family together" and "I need a quiet work space for X with a desk, etc" for whatever your purpose is.  Do you mean you hope to have a living room AND a family room?  Does that mean a room with a TV vs. not?  These are all rhetorical of course?  I'd just be asking how and why we need all these things and what configurations might work for your needs.

I have a 1915 house with 9 foot ceilings on the main level FWIW.  That wasn't a big deal to me when we bought but I do like it.  Maybe you're looking at mid century ranches, those generally won't have high ceilings.  Also, like our house has a living room and a sun room.  The sun room is small but that is our movie/TV room and it's also doubling as my DH's work from home office.

[Corraleno]

I think whether lower ceilings make a room feel "closed in" has a lot to do with the number/size of windows and how much light they get. A north-facing room with one or two small windows shaded by tall evergreens is going to feel much more closed in than a room with large windows that get tons of direct light.

Both the kitchen and family room in my current house have large windows plus 8' sliders that open onto a large sunny deck and a big open back yard, and the upstairs bedrooms have big windows overlooking the backyard and the trees and green space beyond the fence. Plus the bedrooms face east, so they get direct light in the mornings, diffused light most of the day, and are only dark in the late afternoon or evenings, when that's preferred anyway. The amount of light and the expansive views keep the rooms from feeling closed in even though they are smaller, with lower ceilings, than my previous house. 

[easypeasy]

7 hours ago, DawnM said:

We have to lower our expectations a bit for a house, or compromise at least.

Here is our criteria:

9 ft. ceilings

5 bedrooms (or 5 rooms that could be used as a bedroom)

dining room, den, living room (not all homes have all that we have viewed so far)

pool (we will put one in if there isn't one, so maybe this shouldn't be on the list?)

2 acres min.

No HOA

Updated OR priced low enough to update

What we are finding:

Since we are looking for no HOA and land, we are looking at older homes.   All the available land has now been bought and made into tract homes, so it is hard to find a newer home on land.   

Older homes have 8' ceilings and it feels cramped to me.   Our current home has 10' on the main floor and 9' on the upper floors.   I don't need 10' but 9' seems to be the nice spot.   I am trying to decide if I am ok with that.

I guess looking at the list,  we can add everything but the acreage and the ceiling height.

 

I'd give up the acreage minimum and look instead for a well-designed yard layout.

I could give up the ceilings. I think that is one of those things that you are used to being high bc your current home has high ceilings, but I bet you would adjust to quickly once 8' ceilings became your everyday/normal - especially if the home has well-positioned windows and you have good natural lighting.

I'd keep the living room and den - we also use both of those spaces as well and can't imagine giving one up.

The bedrooms are probably non-negotiable, unless the home has the capacity for an add-on at some point - but then you'll have major construction to live through...

I love having a pool, but since you say you'd add one if it doesn't have one, then I'd refocus on the well-designed yard layout and make sure you CAN add a pool in that space -  find out where the backyard lines are and such to see if there would be major unexpected expenses.

[DawnM]

6 hours ago, SKL said:

I wouldn't want a pool, could do with 1 acre or less, and I think 8' ceilings are fine (though tbh I never measured mine).

I am not sure why you need 5 bedrooms and 3 "living area" rooms, but I understand wanting lots of space and privacy options.

I don't need 3 living areas, but two would be nice.   A living room and a bonus room would work.   It would be nice to have a formal LR but if not, that's ok.

6 hours ago, Bambam said:

I too want higher ceilings. I feel cramped/claustrophobic in the shorter ceiling homes. I know I grew up in homes with shorter ceilings, but now I am used to my 10' ceilings.  I might adjust, I might not, but I'm not buying a home on the premise I might adjust. 

Dining room - We've never used ours as a dining room (school room, study, library, yes - but not dining room!), but we have had breakfast areas that were large enough for our table + all the leaves (seats 8, you may need more room). When we needed more table space for guests, we used one of those conference tables from Sam's + folding chairs. It was serviceable, but it was not fancy. No one complained. The food and companionship were still good. 

I don't see many here with 5 bedrooms regularly. Do you have four kids still at home? If they all were not living their currently, I'd probably scale down the number of bedrooms? Unless you need one for a work-from-home office? I think I'd be looking at 4+ bedrooms and see if there are any that I could make work. 

They are not all living here 100% of the time but they have always had their own rooms and I really don't want to change that.   4 bedroom homes are what we are looking at mostly as that is what is available, but typically there is an additional space for another make shift bedroom......one house had two offices for example.   

5 hours ago, Lecka said:

I would also inquire about code enforcement too, because if there is no code enforcement — here people can have as many loose dogs as they want and pile up trash.  And it’s expensive to haul away big trash, so people will put trash in an out-of-the-way corner of the property, but it could be more visible to a neighbor.  
 

The animal boarding situation I heard about nearby…. We heard about it from the rescue where we got our puppy.  They said a woman had 80 dogs and cats, and she was feeding them and giving them water, but it was not a good situation.  But it wasn’t animal abuse.  People knew about the situation deteriorating for 3 years and then the woman was taken by some kind of elder services because she was too sick and living in a dilapidated house and things like that.  But they had to wait until it crossed a far line.  The people from the animal rescue said she was a nice woman and people would go talk to her but she didn’t see a problem.  But the animals were really poorly socialized and had a lot of problems.  
 

Edit:  it might be that there is already going to be code enforcement at a basic level where you are looking anyway, then it would be a non-issue.

 

Oh, there’s also things like bringing in trailers.  This is one where a lot of people don’t care and some people do.  
 

There’s also things like construction equipment where a lot of people don’t care and some people do.

 

But these are things that would just be code enforcement in town.  

 

 

No, all the areas we are looking at are pretty nice, no trailers other than that one we saw.   No trash piles.   We are looking at nicer end areas.

5 hours ago, MeaganS said:

We have almost all of that in our current home. It's only 1.5 acre though, but still, pretty close. I could easily downsize our house but I wouldn't want to give up our location/lot. In our area we are super blessed because we are surrounded by HOAs and small lots. We are in an older neighborhood kinda hidden in the middle of a bunch of new, so we lucked out. We can (and do) do mostly whatever we want.

On your list, I would give up a dining room first. I just don't like formal dining rooms. If there is a place for a table by the kitchen, I'd prefer that. In fact, I do that. We have a dining room but I refuse to buy a table just to fill the space when I know we'd never use it or barely use it. We've turned it into a sitting area but I'd easily just not have the space.

Next I'd give up the living room. I've tried really hard to change my mindset about what my home is for. I've come to the conclusion that my home is for living and not for the very occasional guest. Having a whole space just in case someone shows up seems unimportant and honestly, I'd rather not have it. It's just another place to clean and buy furniture for. 

Our house has 8 foot ceilings except in one room that is slightly vaulted and my bedroom. I will say when I first was considering the house this bothered me. The first thing I did when we bought it was to go through and paint it bright/light colors. This made a HUGE difference. I've also been really careful with my furniture choices and made sure that it all has a low profile. When we redid our kitchen, I made sure that our pendant lights had clear shades. Basically I did everything I could to make it not seem closed in. The next thing I want to do is change the blinds to roller shades since I feel like that opens up the windows so much. All that to say, it hasn't been that bad at all. We just have to be mindful when decorating. I'd still prefer higher ceilings but its not as big a deal as I thought it would be.

The pool would not be a deal breaker either way. Our pool is nice, but it is also a huge pain. I can see both sides of the argument there. I'm happy to have it since we moved in when my youngest was old enough to swim and we'll have it all the way through the teen years. Once the kids are gone, though, I definitely don't want one. It costs a lot of money to run and fix and is a slight stressor for me the whole summer. But it's really nice to have and be able to invite friends and family to use.

 

Agreed and a that is a good way to look at it.

3 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I think that makes it even harder to wrap your mind around downsizing. Because in the back of your mind, you know that you don’t really have to downsize. But the same time I know you guys want to make a really good financial decision. Youhave lots of options and I know something will work out good for you.. 

Yes, downsizing stinks.

3 hours ago, Lecka said:

My honest thought is — your husband is an accountant, see if he can give a price range and then stick to that unless you really cannot be happy for that price range.  And then that is fair if that is the situation.  

We have run all the numbers already.  But I can do the math on this one, it isn't that hard.   We make X, we want to spend Y, we should make Z on this current house.   What is the difference?   Got it.

[Tap]

Honestly if I had to give something up, I would consider where I spend the most time and what causes me the most stress.  If a den is used daily, it has more value. If one bedroom is for guests, who come a week or two a year….. then the den would win. Same for dining room….used daily? Or for holidays? csn this be added next year? Or do we need it immediately?

Can a bedroom have a double purpose? Two kids in one? Or den/guest room with a murphy bed? 
 

is there a second area that can be used for a kid hangout until an additional room can be built on? Garage? Screened porch? 

[ScoutTN]

Ceilings and # of bedrooms. YA kids who do not live at home most of the time can totally share. Good decorating can compensate for the lack of height. Lower ceilings are so much more energy efficient too. 
 

[DawnM]

4 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I think that makes it even harder to wrap your mind around downsizing. Because in the back of your mind, you know that you don’t really have to downsize. But the same time I know you guys want to make a really good financial decision. Youhave lots of options and I know something will work out good for you.. 

Yeah, it is a conundrum for sure.   We looked at 2 houses today.   The one I thought might actually be THE one is still small and didn't wow me at all.   DH hated it.   I was meh about it.   It had some good points.

Then we tagged along for a house that isn't even in our price range and DH can't stop talking about it and wants me to run some numbers to see if we could buy it.   We will have to carry a small mortgage as it is above our "cash" amount, but honestly, the thing I am trying to figure out is that the houses are less $$ but they need quite a bit added.  By the time we add all we need, we may as well buy the higher priced home.

So we will be having conversations tonight.

[Ottakee]

I could give a bit on the lot size, ceiling height and pool, and likely the 5 bedrooms unless there are 6 of you living at home full time.

I would want to look at any house I was buying for “age in place” features like easy to add a ramp for wheelchairs, wider hallways and doorways, main floor laundry, etc.

[DawnM]

12 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

I could give a bit on the lot size, ceiling height and pool, and likely the 5 bedrooms unless there are 6 of you living at home full time.

I would want to look at any house I was buying for “age in place” features like easy to add a ramp for wheelchairs, wider hallways and doorways, main floor laundry, etc.

There are literally no such homes on the market with the ability to age in place.   The only ones around here that have anything like that are the 55 and older communities.   

[Ottakee]

3 minutes ago, DawnM said:

There are literally no such homes on the market with the ability to age in place.   The only ones around here that have anything like that are the 55 and older communities.   

But some homes are easier to muddy later….main floor laundry, fewer steps to the main floor, wider hallways, etc.   

[Lecka]

I have seen houses priced that way where the sellers are like — well, we will let them pick out their own stuff.  And make it the same price.  
 

It seems like that could work well with already having a good contractor.  
 

Maybe you could sell your house with a later closing date and stay while a new house is getting some work done to it.  
 

Why not get something you want and like, it sounds like it is actually affordable.  

[KungFuPanda]

I'm going to rank your list from easiest to give up to hardest and write why I could give up that thing.  

 

pool (we will put one in if there isn't one, so maybe this shouldn't be on the list? - easy to give up and with land you can put in what you really want and not what the last owner chose.  Seems safer than buying an older pool with a slow leak or faulty pump you'll discover the first summer you use it.

9 foot ceilings - you're downsizing.  High ceilings waste energy and money.  This might be easier than giving up a pool.  

5 bedrooms (or 5 rooms that could be used as a bedroom) - you are downsizing.  5 bedrooms is not downsizing.  I'd buy with an eye towards what you'll need in five years when kids are launched.  Have rooms for the people who will still be there in five years plus a guest room; maybe an office if anyone works from home full time.  Giving up rooms is giving up work.

dining room, den, living room (not all homes have all that we have viewed so far) You can easily eliminate one of these rooms when you downsize. You won't need a living room AND a family room.  As long as you can fit a dining table that holds your typical family gathering, it doesn't matter if it's in a dining room or a great room situation.  As you age,  you'll have less energy for cleaning anyway so eliminating whole rooms is a plus as you near retirement.

2 acres min. I'd ask if that much space would help you truly enjoy life more.  It's hours and hours of regular work to take care of that much property even if you're just mowing it.  I can see it getting overwhelming quickly and your dh not being amenable to another quick move. Giving up land is giving up work.  Is 2 acres something you want to maintain yourself if your older kids are launched and your Dh throws out is back or goes on a business trip?

No HOA - Every HOA is different.  A lot of them really do keep your property values up.  I'd list what you want to do on the property and find a place, HOA or not, where you can do those things.  Zero restrictions can mean you have no recourse with neighbors from hell. Complete property freedom means they can have a junkyard next door, loud summer parties, and paint their house Barney purple.  I'm not making this up.  My mom HAS this neighbor.  Luckily they're down the road a bit from her but that property really devalues the nice ones on either side of them (even though the lots are a couple acres) because Freedom.

Updated OR priced low enough to update - I'd probably give this up last because even though you have a project list you want to actually be able to live on less and like your surroundings.  If it's too expensive you'll wish you stayed in your nicer, bigger house.  You'll probably spend most of your time at home IN the house (unless the yard chores get out of hand) and you want to like it.  Location might actually matter more, but there isn't much point in moving right now if you don't like the house and didn't save enough to turn it into what you want.

[DawnM]

9 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

I'm going to rank your list from easiest to give up to hardest and write why I could give up that thing.  

 

pool (we will put one in if there isn't one, so maybe this shouldn't be on the list? - easy to give up and with land you can put in what you really want and not what the last owner chose.  Seems safer than buying an older pool with a slow leak or faulty pump you'll discover the first summer you use it.

Yeah, we can just look for room for it.  

9 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

9 foot ceilings - you're downsizing.  High ceilings waste energy and money.  This might be easier than giving up a pool.  

True, provided the house had other things.

9 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

5 bedrooms (or 5 rooms that could be used as a bedroom) - you are downsizing.  5 bedrooms is not downsizing.  I'd buy with an eye towards what you'll need in five years when kids are launched.  Have rooms for the people who will still be there in five years plus a guest room; maybe an office if anyone works from home full time.  Giving up rooms is giving up work.

Well, we need a min of 4 bedrooms.   The 5th can be my son getting his own place.

9 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

dining room, den, living room (not all homes have all that we have viewed so far) You can easily eliminate one of these rooms when you downsize. You won't need a living room AND a family room.  As long as you can fit a dining table that holds your typical family gathering, it doesn't matter if it's in a dining room or a great room situation.  As you age,  you'll have less energy for cleaning anyway so eliminating whole rooms is a plus as you near retirement.

2 acres min. I'd ask if that much space would help you truly enjoy life more.  It's hours and hours of regular work to take care of that much property even if you're just mowing it.  I can see it getting overwhelming quickly and your dh not being amenable to another quick move. Giving up land is giving up work.  Is 2 acres something you want to maintain yourself if your older kids are launched and your Dh throws out is back or goes on a business trip?

There are not any homes around here that don't have an HOA and are under 2 acres.   Period.   Our current house is on .75 of an acre and yeah, that might be enough IF there weren't so many restrictions.   But we can't find one that doesn't have the restrictions.

9 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

No HOA - Every HOA is different.  A lot of them really do keep your property values up.  I'd list what you want to do on the property and find a place, HOA or not, where you can do those things.  Zero restrictions can mean you have no recourse with neighbors from hell. Complete property freedom means they can have a junkyard next door, loud summer parties, and paint their house Barney purple.  I'm not making this up.  My mom HAS this neighbor.  Luckily they're down the road a bit from her but that property really devalues the nice ones on either side of them (even though the lots are a couple acres) because Freedom.

True about all HOAs being different, but most around here are pretty restrictive.   And there aren't many junky places around here as this is a nicer area and people who would junk up their stuff can't really afford to live in this area.   

9 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

Updated OR priced low enough to update - I'd probably give this up last because even though you have a project list you want to actually be able to live on less and like your surroundings.  If it's too expensive you'll wish you stayed in your nicer, bigger house.  You'll probably spend most of your time at home IN the house (unless the yard chores get out of hand) and you want to like it.  Location might actually matter more, but there isn't much point in moving right now if you don't like the house and didn't save enough to turn it into what you want.

Yeah, we are discussing what to do right now.

[BusyMom5]

Who do the bedrooms belong to and how often will they be there?  That might help you think it through. 

We just finally switched the 20 year Olds room to a play room- it still has her bed but everything else was put in the closet.  She's here 2 weeks at the beginning of the summer, 1 at the end, and probably 2 weeks at Christmas.   It just didn't make sense to never use that space.  We put toys in there that we usually rotate.  We do still have 2 kids that share a room, but neither wanted her room, so they can keep sharing until the next room-switch.  They were offered their own space ;)

If necessary you can always rent an Air BnB or a hotel room for grown kids.  

[wintermom]

10 hours ago, DawnM said:

Older homes have 8' ceilings and it feels cramped to me.   Our current home has 10' on the main floor and 9' on the upper floors.   I don't need 10' but 9' seems to be the nice spot.   I am trying to decide if I am ok with that.

I guess looking at the list,  we can add everything but the acreage and the ceiling height.

 

Are you and your family especially tall? My ds is 6'5" and our 8 ft ceilings seem perfectly fine. It's more about the windows and allowing lots of light into rooms that creates a spacious feel, IME.  And heating/cooling smaller rooms is WAY cheaper. 🙂 

[DawnM]

10 minutes ago, BusyMom5 said:

Who do the bedrooms belong to and how often will they be there?  That might help you think it through. 

We just finally switched the 20 year Olds room to a play room- it still has her bed but everything else was put in the closet.  She's here 2 weeks at the beginning of the summer, 1 at the end, and probably 2 weeks at Christmas.   It just didn't make sense to never use that space.  We put toys in there that we usually rotate.  We do still have 2 kids that share a room, but neither wanted her room, so they can keep sharing until the next room-switch.  They were offered their own space 😉

If necessary you can always rent an Air BnB or a hotel room for grown kids.  

So, after posting I realized that oldest will most likely have the tiny house or something, so a 4 bedroom will work.   Even though two of my boys are off at college, I really want a room that is just theirs, I have actually told them that we encourage them to start their careers at home if they can find a job locally, and save for a down on a house or condo at some point.

Some homes have spaces to use as bedrooms, like the house we saw with 2 offices.   Both of them closed off to be private.

[DawnM]

3 minutes ago, wintermom said:

Are you and your family especially tall? My ds is 6'5" and our 8 ft ceilings seem perfectly fine. It's more about the windows and allowing lots of light into rooms that creates a spacious feel, IME.  And heating/cooling smaller rooms is WAY cheaper. 🙂 

Oh yes!   Quite tall.  I am 4'11 on a good day! 🤣

DH is 6'

 

[wintermom]

1 minute ago, DawnM said:

Oh yes!   Quite tall.  I am 4'11 on a good day! 🤣

DH is 6'

 

My ds loves showing off by placing his flat hand on the ceiling. No one else can in the familly. He wouldn't be able to do this with 9 or 10 ft ceilings. 

[easypeasy]

54 minutes ago, DawnM said:

True about all HOAs being different, but most around here are pretty restrictive.   And there aren't many junky places around here as this is a nicer area and people who would junk up their stuff can't really afford to live in this area.   

 

** Just a cautionary alert toward this way of thinking (if you do find a non-HOA area to live in...). Wealth is not a determining factor for tackiness or hoarding or unmowed lawns or parking on the yard or collecting concrete fountains or for collecting old cars in the front driveway they are "going to fix some day" or who don't paint their houses or repair their shutters.

If you believe your statement above, I'm imagining you've probably lived mostly in areas with HOAs, or in areas where most neighborhoods have HOAs that rein this in.

I am related to people with gobs of $$ who "junk up their stuff" a-plenty. 😅 Shoot, my parents live in a very nice home on acreage and are sandwiched between two neighbors (with more property and much larger houses) that keep on building buildings to house all the junk they collect. It's obscene!!

They all purposefully pick out homes without HOAs.

[wintermom]

3 minutes ago, easypeasy said:

They all purposefully pick out homes without HOAs.

There is one redeming quality of HOA (condo corporations from my experience), and that is reigning in the "weirdness" of "free hold" dwellers. 😉 

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, easypeasy said:

** Just a cautionary alert toward this way of thinking (if you do find a non-HOA area to live in...). Wealth is not a determining factor for tackiness or hoarding or unmowed lawns or parking on the yard or collecting concrete fountains or for collecting old cars in the front driveway they are "going to fix some day" or who don't paint their houses or repair their shutters.

If you believe your statement above, I'm imagining you've probably lived mostly in areas with HOAs, or in areas where most neighborhoods have HOAs that rein this in.

I am related to people with gobs of $$ who "junk up their stuff" a-plenty. 😅 Shoot, my parents live in a very nice home on acreage and are sandwiched between two neighbors (with more property and much larger houses) that keep on building buildings to house all the junk they collect. It's obscene!!

They all purposefully pick out homes without HOAs.

No, our last home was on 2.5 acres and no HOA and no one junked up anything.   Everyone took pride in their property.  Now, did I think Joe across the street should have mowed more often?   Maybe.   But there are not junk piles.

In fact, we have never had an HOA until this house.   We never had any in CA and didn't have one in the last house.   This is the first.

And we have never had junk piles.   But I guess there is a possibility.

[Lecka]

Here pretty “country” homes on acreages can still be in incorporated areas where they do have basic code enforcement, it would be enough for trash piles.

 

But I do agree there are nicer areas where I wouldn’t expect to see it.  
 

But I have also been surprised.  
 

But it sounds like a non-issue if these are places that wouldn’t allow a trailer (if I read that right).  
 

There could already be some kind of zoning or something.  

[matrips]

Pool- loved it when the kids were little. Would be plenty fine without it now. Just uses up money. 

2 acres 

9’ ceilings (we have 8 and it’s fine)

5 bedrooms. That’s a harder number to find than 3 or 4. 

I thought you were downsizing? How much land and how many bedrooms do you currently have?

 

[Ottakee]

When you are looking at houses, don’t be afraid to look at some that might be listed as 3 bedroom or whatever if they seem to have the overall square footage you need.   Sometimes homes only have 3 official bedrooms but have an office or den or craft room which would be great for guest rooms but can’t be considered bedrooms due to lack of closets etc.

my house before this one was listed as a 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath home…..it had 3 official bedrooms with 2 more rooms that weren’t official and actually had 2 1/2 baths.   So glad I looked at it as it totally let our needs even if it was listed incorrectly.

[Reefgazer]

I'd be willing to give up the pool, den, or ceiling height.  I will never live in an HOA; that would be my single non-negotiable.

[Farrar]

Reading through the responses, I would hold fast on the no HOA and the ceiling height because those can't be changed. They just can't and if you're not happy without it, you're not. The acreage also feels like something you should just hold strong on, though maybe 1.5? It's not something I would personally be attached to, but if you are, then you are.

For most of the rest of it... I'd focus on the number of usable spaces more than the specific number of bedrooms and the den and all that. My mother's tiny house uses one of the bedrooms as a den so she has a formal living room in her entryway and then a den to the side which is technically a bedroom, but is like a den/guestroom. I think you can get creative with spaces in general and swap them. If we had not been homeschooling and using the dining room as a homeschool room, I probably would have swapped the dining room and living room and I was just thinking about doing it again now.

As for the aging in place stuff... don't knock it. My mother took a 1920's bungalow and made it into a home she could age in place in. It's now very accessible. She did remodel and completely change the layout of the main bathroom, but otherwise, it didn't require that much in changes. She's ready for any additional changes. So older home can be made more accessible.

[SHP]

So these are the things I would give it in order, including caveats.

1. Pool

2. No HOA. This was a tough one to place. I have had horrible experiences with HOA's and I have had absolutely wonderful experiences.  The best experience came from me requesting the bylaws, covenants, conditions & restrictions (CC&Rs), meeting minutes and treasurer reports and financial information for the past 1-5 years. I read through them multiple times and take notes. I sat in on a meeting to see how things were handled and asked questions. 

 

These are all dependent on what the others are.

I agree that 8ft ceilings can feel claustrophobic and this can feel worse if the space isn't open enough or if there isn't enough space for everyone to be able to retreat to. So if there is enough open living space and personal retreat space I would be willing to consider 8ft ceilings.

If the extra land is usable outdoor living space for most of the year and your lifestyle lends itself to using it as an extension of the house, then I would be more willing to compromise on the dining room/den/living room, but would want 9ft ceilings in main living areas so I wouldn't feel like I was walking into a cave after being outside.

-9 ft. ceilings

-dining room, den, living room

-2 acres min

 

This one depends on all the other factors above and want materials cost where you are.

-Updated OR priced low enough to update

 

I would want to keep 5 bedrooms, even if very small. Space with a door is important to me. 

5 bedrooms