Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

Dress Code for Dances in the US

Lillyfee

By Lillyfee,
in The Chat Board

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 104
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

QueenCat

QueenCat

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, mmasc said:

Do you like something like this?

or this

or this

or this

These are examples of what I would wear to a military ball. (I can’t speak to these exact dresses as I haven’t bought them)These are just examples of what *I* like and feel good in, but I do think a PP nailed it when she said to go in and try some on in a store, even if you end up ordering online. I think it helps a TON to know what silhouette you look/feel good in.

ETA: for example, I know I do not look good in mermaid style dresses. I’ve tried them a million times but they just don’t work. I also don’t look good in smooth satin. I try to have some rouching, or layers of fabric. I also prefer halter or bare shoulders bc it is more flattering on me than other styles. A little bit of back showing works for me as well, but not big leg slits, etc etc etc. 

These are all great options, all at reasonable prices too. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lillyfee

Lillyfee

Posted
  • Author
Posted
9 minutes ago, mmasc said:

Do you like something like this?

or this

or this

or this

These are examples of what I would wear to a military ball. (I can’t speak to these exact dresses as I haven’t bought them)These are just examples of what *I* like and feel good in, but I do think a PP nailed it when she said to go in and try some on in a store, even if you end up ordering online. I think it helps a TON to know what silhouette you look/feel good in.

ETA: for example, I know I do not look good in mermaid style dresses. I’ve tried them a million times but they just don’t work. I also don’t look good in smooth satin. I try to have some rouching, or layers of fabric. I also prefer halter or bare shoulders bc it is more flattering on me than other styles. A little bit of back showing works for me as well, but not big leg slits, etc etc etc. 

I do like them especially the first and the third one :wub:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
QueenCat

QueenCat

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, mmasc said:

Do you like something like this?

or this

or this

or this

These are examples of what I would wear to a military ball. (I can’t speak to these exact dresses as I haven’t bought them)These are just examples of what *I* like and feel good in, but I do think a PP nailed it when she said to go in and try some on in a store, even if you end up ordering online. I think it helps a TON to know what silhouette you look/feel good in.

ETA: for example, I know I do not look good in mermaid style dresses. I’ve tried them a million times but they just don’t work. I also don’t look good in smooth satin. I try to have some rouching, or layers of fabric. I also prefer halter or bare shoulders bc it is more flattering on me than other styles. A little bit of back showing works for me as well, but not big leg slits, etc etc etc. 

These are all great options, all at reasonable prices too. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SoCal_Bear

SoCal_Bear

Posted
Posted (edited)

FWIW, I would invest the time and money in buying something timeless and classic that you would not mind wearing over and over again to keep in your closet for events like this. I would imagine that there will at some point be other events in the the future that you may need to wear something formal. So solve for the long term and get something you feel confident and good in that stands the test of time and will be your wardrobe staple. I have pieces like this that I honestly have been wearing for over 20 years because they are solid, classic and high quality.

Edited by calbear
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mmasc

mmasc

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It was, too!! I had a point to make that night to a certainly overly friendly coworker of DHs. I don’t dress up often but when I do… 🤣🎉

I bet the point was made in that dress! 👍🏼😂

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lillyfee

Lillyfee

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I am going dress and shoe shopping this weekend as I would really prefer to try it on before I buy but if I can't find anything I will look online. 

Are there any colors you would avoid? I like red but I don't know if it will draw too much attention. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Lillyfee said:

I am going dress and shoe shopping this weekend as I would really prefer to try it on before I buy but if I can't find anything I will look online. 

Are there any colors you would avoid? I like red but I don't know if it will draw too much attention. 

This event was black tie vs white but sharing so you can see what red looks like at these gatherings, lol.  The only color I’d avoid is bright white. It always comes off looking bridal. Cream/gold is nice tho.

3357B731-123F-43C9-B7EE-3281FED09914.jpeg

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
wintermom

wintermom

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Lillyfee said:

I am going dress and shoe shopping this weekend as I would really prefer to try it on before I buy but if I can't find anything I will look online. 

Are there any colors you would avoid? I like red but I don't know if it will draw too much attention. 

Well, if you want to be the 'lady in red' for your dh, it's probably a good choice. 😉 

If you want something less eye-catching, tone it down to a burgandy or red wine shade, or find a fabric with black/red combination.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Lillyfee said:

I feel red fits me but I don't know how to see which color compliments me. I am one size bigger now but still the same skin color :laugh:

 

 

 

Screenshot_20220506-113259_Samsung Internet.jpg

I’d go a smudge darker, second or third from the LEFT depending on how conservative you want to be. I am, ahem, decidedly not conservative with color. My last ball gown was a gorgeous jewel-toned teal.

FC64E50D-56CB-4450-981D-5A25E6CE32AD.png

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Lillyfee said:

I feel red fits me but I don't know how to see which color compliments me. I am one size bigger now but still the same skin color :laugh:

 

 

 

Screenshot_20220506-113259_Samsung Internet.jpg

On another note, if you got it, work it (tastefully, of course). Boring black and blue dresses (or suits b/c I’ve seen some PHENOMENAL women in suits of late) look awful next to their uniforms when *you* should be the gem that night.

I may be bigger than I was 5 years ago (b/c my new friend Peri is a cruel jerk) but if I have to accompany DH to another ball I can guarantee I will slay the hell out of my outfit. BE YOU.

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Chelli

Chelli

Posted
Posted

My daughter just attended her first military ball (army) with her boyfriend. He told her to wear neutral colors. What he forgot to tell her was no patterns, so we found this beautiful black dress with a light gold tapestry pattern. He had to get official approval from his higher ups for her dress, which he did, but she was the only woman there with a print. She wore the sheer cape for the greeting line part since the dress was strapless. She did get tons of compliments on it, but she definitely didn't blend in.

 

Military Ball2.jpg

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, Chelli said:

My daughter just attended her first military ball (army) with her boyfriend. He told her to wear neutral colors. What he forgot to tell her was no patterns, so we found this beautiful black dress with a light gold tapestry pattern. He had to get official approval from his higher ups for her dress, which he did, but she was the only woman there with a print. She wore the sheer cape for the greeting line part since the dress was strapless. She did get tons of compliments on it, but she definitely didn't blend in.

 

Military Ball2.jpg

Wow!! Cute dress. I’ve never heard of needing approval for a dress, let alone a pattern. Maybe that’s an army thing? Joint command? I’m confuzzled. I’d never pass muster.

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Soror

Soror

Posted
Posted (edited)

@Chelli she looks gorgeous

@Sneezyone I'm with you re: dressing up. I'd love to have an occasion. I tried on this dress a few months ago when I went shopping with DD. I like black personally but probably not appropriate. It was all strappy in the back. Lol 

 

Edited by Soror
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Soror said:

@Chelli she looks gorgeous

@Sneezyone I'm with you re: dressing up. I'd love to have an occasion. I tried on this dress a few months ago when I went shopping with DD. I like black personally but probably not appropriate. It was all strappy in the back. Lol 

IMG_20220506_201601.jpg

That’s gorgeous! Black is nice. It’s just that DHs dress uniform is black. I don’t want to match. If I saw a glammed up suit ala Solange Knowles’ wedding, I’d make a beeline for the wearer to make their acquaintance. These are my peeps! ☺️

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Soror said:

@Sneezyone bet the red looked stunning next to his black uniform. It looks great on you. Love the fit, very similar to what I tried on with the fit and flare. I don't ever wear red but jewel tones sometimes. 

I can’t wear empire waist or a-line dresses. I’m busty so they inevitably make me look frumpy or pregnant, like poor Penelope in Bridgerton. Jewel tones are my jam!!

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Soror

Soror

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I can’t wear empire waist or a-line dresses. I’m busty so they inevitably make me look frumpy or pregnant, like poor Penelope in Bridgerton. Jewel tones are my jam!!

Yes!!!!!! Me too. I can't do empire waist at all. I was an hour glass but since birth my hips are even more "ample" (my hips just fit into that dress in the pic lol). I like clothes that are fitted on the top half. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, Soror said:

Yes!!!!!! Me too. I can't do empire waist at all. I was an hour glass but since birth my hips are even more "ample" (my hips just fit into that dress in the pic lol). I like clothes that are fitted on the top half. 

IKR!! I’ve a classic hourglass shape (though broader in the chest since Peri arrived). Anything that hangs off the bust is a hard NO. If it had been just DD and I for dress shopping, my preference, I’d have tried on a few, but we had a group of girls/moms (one set of whom was decidedly pageant-y). It killed our vibe. DD and I found this one in 30 min/one store. 🤣

D9529E22-FAE5-4A29-93AB-B7D0B9A4622D.jpeg

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lillyfee

Lillyfee

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I don't mind bright colors as long as I feel that I look good. I would really like to find a dress that I put on and love it. Then I don't mind if it's a little different and if people look.

I just keep so much away from that whole military life. We live on base and I am good with all my neighbors but otherwise I mainly stay with European or other immigrant wives (not on purpose, I have no idea why it always turns out like that) and I am never involved with that FRG stuff and things like that.

I just hope they don't think that I am awkward and that I fit in. I really don't want to act or dress weird.

The last time my husband got an award or whatever that was they gave me something too for some weird reason and I felt so overwhelmed that I stumbled "Thank you but I am not even American and I really don't know that much about all that army stuff." I wanted to be humble as I didn't think I deserve anything but it sounded so stupid like I don't like America or the army or something. 

The man only smiled and my husband just said later "The next time just only say thank you and nothing else." But he was not mad at me and thought it was kind of funny but I wanted to disappear in a hole.

I just hope I don't get in any awkward situations again.

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Lillyfee said:

I don't mind bright colors as long as I feel that I look good. I would really like to find a dress that I put on and love it. Then I don't mind if it's a little different and if people look.

I just keep so much away from that whole military life. We live on base and I am good with all my neighbors but otherwise I mainly stay with European or other immigrant wives (not on purpose, I have no idea why it always turns out like that) and I am never involved with that FRG stuff and things like that.

I just hope they don't think that I am awkward and that I fit in. I really don't want to act or dress weird.

The last time my husband got an award or whatever that was they gave me something too for some weird reason and I felt so overwhelmed that I stumbled "Thank you but I am not even American and I really don't know that much about all that army stuff." I wanted to be humble as I didn't think I deserve anything but it sounded so stupid like I don't like America or the army or something. 

The man only smiled and my husband just said later "The next time just only say thank you and nothing else." But he was not mad at me and thought it was kind of funny but I wanted to disappear in a hole.

I just hope I don't get in any awkward situations again.

 

Oh, honey, you are ENOUGH just the way you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. All the trappings are BS. ‘Spouse’ volunteerism and appearances aren’t anywhere on their evaluations anymore. Even if you’re out of place or say the wrong thing, it’s ONE day/night and people will get over it. They don’t have a choice. Your attire/speechifying isn’t mission-critical. Always keep it in perspective. PS. You can always say no to giving ‘remarks’.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TravelingChris

TravelingChris

Posted
Posted
On 5/5/2022 at 6:37 AM, HomeAgain said:

Since it's a military ball, I will tell you that yes, the dress code will be.......you'll see a range.

How you look will also reflect on your husband, sad to say.  You will see what I mean when you get there.  I would definitely encourage you to find something classic and floor length.

 

FWIW, I kept exactly 3 dresses in my closet for events: a simple dark blue knee length, an origami dress that was a little longer, and a floor length light colored dress.  All three could be dressed up or down, but they were my go-tos for any events necessary.  (My dh worked in protocol for a while so it was not unusual for him to be tasked with several events throughout the year).

Yep.  And how you act outside of functions- like do you help with the project to send care packages to military out on the field?  I can't say for sure it helped but I do know that dh got promoted and the military person whose wife didn't help and they didn't go to a function, didn't get promoted.

There is or was a program for spouses whose spouses reached a certain rank so they knew what to expect.  My dh had a pretty strange career being that he was a scientist so even though he reached that rank, I never went to school since his office had three people- an SES equivalent of a flag officer, my dh who just made full colonel, and a secretary.  There was no need for the school for me since he was not a commander of anything.  Then when we moved here and he was a commander of a unit, the main service here is different from the one my dh served in and he had already had that rank for almost 3 years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TravelingChris

TravelingChris

Posted
Posted

Oh and when we were in Europe, where all the different US services had a function at some time-it was obvious that Army was much more into looks than the Air Force. In the AF, no one ever told me I can't wear this or that.  But then, I never went with something wild like clashing colors or a hippie inspired look.  But I know I went solid colors that did have some patterns and there were lots of ladies wearing normal patterns.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Carrie12345

Carrie12345

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

IKR!! I’ve a classic hourglass shape (though broader in the chest since Peri arrived). Anything that hangs off the bust is a hard NO. If it had been just DD and I for dress shopping, my preference, I’d have tried on a few, but we had a group of girls/moms (one set of whom was decidedly pageant-y). It killed our vibe. DD and I found this one in 30 min/one store. 🤣

D9529E22-FAE5-4A29-93AB-B7D0B9A4622D.jpeg

I don’t want to sound creepy, but it is what it is. I’d wear gowns everyday of my life shaped like that! Homeschooling, cooking dinner, picking up dog poop… I don’t care.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
51 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

Yep.  And how you act outside of functions- like do you help with the project to send care packages to military out on the field?  I can't say for sure it helped but I do know that dh got promoted and the military person whose wife didn't help and they didn't go to a function, didn't get promoted.

There is or was a program for spouses whose spouses reached a certain rank so they knew what to expect.

Yeah, that’s literally not a thing anymore. There are TONS of senior officers who geobach and/or have working spouses that don’t participate in work parties, lead FRGs, etc. Many are single/divorced too. It has no bearing on the member’s advancement. Way back when, spouse engagement/participation was a line on their FITREPs/evals. Not anymore and not for a long time now. They still have command spouse school/trainings but participation isn’t required.

Edited by Sneezyone
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sneezyone

Sneezyone

Posted
Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, Lillyfee said:

I got this one now. The color is lavender (it looks kind of white in the pic). They also still need to make it smaller on the top.

IMG-20220507-WA0003.thumb.jpg.4d4ff97c3fa4791c7de0d3d19583334e.jpg

 

Looks great! I hope you have a wonderful time! I am secretly tickled pink that you picked an actual color. 🙂

Edited by Sneezyone
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lillyfee

Lillyfee

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you all so much.

My husband was so sweet today. I told him that I look online or some stores that are cheap and he said "Let's go to a dress store. Don't worry about the price, we can definitely afford a dress for you. I want you to feel pretty and be happy. The only thing you need to look for is that you like the dress and nothing else."

I grew up in a family that didn't care for anything considered luxury and I feel a evening dress is luxury and it's really weird for me to just buy one. So silly :laugh: 

  • Like 20
Link to comment
Share on other sites
elegantlion

elegantlion

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, Lillyfee said:

Thank you all so much.

My husband was so sweet today. I told him that I look online or some stores that are cheap and he said "Let's go to a dress store. Don't worry about the price, we can definitely afford a dress for you. I want you to feel pretty and be happy. The only thing you need to look for is that you like the dress and nothing else."

I grew up in a family that didn't care for anything considered luxury and I feel a evening dress is luxury and it's really weird for me to just buy one. So silly :laugh: 

The dress is lovely and your dh is even more lovely. :wub::wub::wub: 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Catwoman

Catwoman

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Lillyfee said:

Thank you all so much.

My husband was so sweet today. I told him that I look online or some stores that are cheap and he said "Let's go to a dress store. Don't worry about the price, we can definitely afford a dress for you. I want you to feel pretty and be happy. The only thing you need to look for is that you like the dress and nothing else."

I grew up in a family that didn't care for anything considered luxury and I feel a evening dress is luxury and it's really weird for me to just buy one. So silly :laugh: 

Your dh sounds like a keeper!!!

And you look gorgeous in the dress!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...