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wedding planning questions


Melissa in Australia
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My Dd is getting married end of May,

 She and I are planning the wedding, and we are very not in the know about many things. I think I will be adding questions over the next few days

Do the groom and groom party have a flower and a hanky thingy in their pocket, or either a flower or hanky thingy?

Does the bride continue to wear her veil at the reception, or remove it and wear some nice hair thing? or does she wear the veil part way through the reception and take it off once it starts to get in the way?

 

 

DD  and I are going to make all the dresses , we are both growing the flowers ( hope that part works) it will be a very simple wedding, old fashioned 

 

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We attended a beautiful garden wedding yesterday.  The men wore chino pants and white shirts, so no flowers or hankies.  The bride did not wear a veil.  She had simple flowers in her hair.  The skirt of her dress was long and flowing at the back though.  

If the bride does want a veil, she will typically wear it throughout the service, but remove it for the reception.

 

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That sounds very sweet.

It’s a long time since I got married but back then it was hankie plus corsage.  And the veil stayed in and decorations would be displayed when the veil was back not over the face.

Do you guys have access to interlibrary loan where you are?  I wonder if they have any of the bridal magazines - they often have tips on the current way things are done.

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Just now, Ausmumof3 said:

That sounds very sweet.

It’s a long time since I got married but back then it was hankie plus corsage.  And the veil stayed in and decorations would be displayed when the veil was back not over the face.

Do you guys have access to interlibrary loan where you are?  I wonder if they have any of the bridal magazines - they often have tips on the current way things are done.

that is a good idea. I think our library has removed all magazines at the moment because of corona

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Just now, Melissa in Australia said:

that is a good idea. I think our library has removed all magazines at the moment because of corona

I had a quick look and the Press Reader app that our library system uses has quite a few digital bridal magazines.  It does tend to be really slow because they are high res so may not be great depending on your interest.  But could be a bit of fun to look through if it works.

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Congratulations! My dd is getting married, too, in September. I was able to get a bunch of books from our public library through our contactless pickup. There is also Pinterest, The Knot, Wedding Wire and all sorts of Facebook or Reddit groups. They are all helpful. 

For dresses, one thing that is in style currently is to have the same color for the bridesmaids but allow them to choose the neckline/hem/sleeve style they prefer.  That way they can all feel comfortable with the cut with whatever body type they have. Flower girls don’t usually have the same color as bridesmaids, but it wouldn’t be wrong. Most often flower girls are in white, ivory or blush - they are the only participants who can wear the same color as the bride. 

None of the weddings I have attended had a veil down over the face. They were veils attached to a hair ornament and stayed in at the reception. In one recent wedding, the veil was sort of inside the bride’s bun and could not have been removed until her hair was let down. 

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As for the veil at the wedding - depends upon the venue.   Very religious/tradition weddings tend to have a veil.  there are a lot that aren't wearing them today.

for the reception - take it off. (it's easier).  You can add crystals (they sell these in sets for brides) to her hair - and you don't need to add anything else.  you can wear them under the veil, and take it off at the reception.  you could even do a medieval flower head piece with ribbons.

 

Best wishes for your daughter, and all the planning ahead of you.

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What I have seen—flower girls usually have a very light colored dress, but not white and not patterned.  If the bridesmaids’ dresses are light in color, they match, but often the bridesmaids’ dresses are a darker color that does not clash with those of the flower girls.  Cost is also a factor.  Often the bride will ask the parents of the flower girl to have her wear a nice dress that she already has.  Sometimes the dress will be a gift from the bride.  For kids, it is crucial that the dress not be itchy.  It often really helps to let the kid’s family use a solid color dress they already have.

Also, the bridesmaids’ dresses can be floor length, tea length, or even shorter, but the flower girls usually can’t manage a floor length.

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8 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

should the bridesmaids and flower girls have similar style dresses? all matching? they area all sisters of the groom, age 4 (niece), 11, 13, 15

To me, it would really depend on the 11, 13, and 15 year olds--how close they are in size, maturity.  Is the 15 year old close to 16 and the 11 year old barely 11? If so, what is appropriate for the 15 year old may be too mature for the 11 year old and what is reasonable for the 11 year old may look childish on the 15 year old.  Unless they are of similar in heights, I would go with similar but not the same.  If the older girls are wearing heavier fabrics that aren't really appropriate for a 4 year old, I would consider a white dress for the flower girl with a sash that matches the older girls' dresses.

 

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I have seen a veil being worn at a reception vary quite a bit by the type of veil--a longer veil being removed and a shorter one worn.  In some cultures it is common to wear the veil at the reception and men pin money to the veil for a turn to dance with the bride. 

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Congratulations! Have a fun wedding! The best thing is that you can't do anything wrong.

My daughter was married last year. She loves looking at all the online articles, pinterest and the rest. Her maid of honor made her veil which she wore for the ceremony and some pictures. She bought some pretty clips for her hair. The bridesmaids had dresses of the same fabric with different necklines. She had three different colors.Most of the bridesmaids however did not come because it was a covid wedding and we had a limited number of folks and rules to follow. The guys were happy to get new suits. A friend made the boutonnieres for the guys and flowers for the women. It was hot, the jackets came off soon after the pictures. Friends made a nice tea for the afternoon reception. It was lovely.

 
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Definitely whatever aesthetic the couple wants!  I've seen hanky or no hanky.   I've seen tons of flowers and just bridal flowers and everything in between.   None of the women in our wedding party matched, they all picked out their own dresses.  They were a variety of ages and body types and that just worked best for us.  Veils I've seen on or off at reception.  I had a train veil (but a simpler dress with a tiny train that bustled), so mine came off.  Really anything goes IMO.  

Edited by FuzzyCatz
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As Dd and I will have to sew all the dresses we will be keeping the pattern simple. We are going pattern and material buying in a few days. The wedding dress pattern she bought from a vintage pattern collector as she couldn't find what she was after new. 

Edited by Melissa in Australia
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1 hour ago, Melissa in Australia said:

As Dd and I will have to sew all the dresses we will be keeping the pattern simple. We are going pattern and material buying in a few days. The wedding dress pattern she bought from a vintage pattern collector as she couldn't find what she was after new. 

Big props to you for doing this. My mom made her own dress and all my bridesmaid dresses and my MIL made her own dress plus my two little nieces, who were not flower girls but looked super adorable. My sister made my flowers (artificial). 

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45 minutes ago, Dreamergal said:

Will it be very nosy to ask for pictures after the wedding of course during different stages of dress construction ? Issues you faced ? I am a pandemic novice sewer and would like to know more about the process as much as you can share.

I am really wanting to know what flowers you will plant.

Also tea party sounds fabulous. This wedding sounds so lovely. 

Do Australians wear hats for a wedding like Brits do ?

Sorry for being nosy.
 

I would love to see pictures, too! This wedding sounds just beautiful.

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no hats, it will be just about winter at the end of May

 

mostly she wants lots of  Gypsophilia flowers , in pink and white 

 

will post a copy of the dress  pattern picture when it arrives. she wants to modify the back of the dress to not be as low, so we will make a mock up of the bodice in some satin that I have at hand. and do any adjustments etc. we haven't ever undertaken a dress with big adjustments before not something important before anyway. We have done simple pattern alterations like change sleeves etc and that is it really.

 

Edited by Melissa in Australia
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19 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

should the bridesmaids and flower girls have similar style dresses? all matching? they area all sisters of the groom, age 4 (niece), 11, 13, 15

Historically, the bridesmaids didn't match each other. That's a thing that's relatively new. There's not a thing wrong with having dresses that are lovely but different from each other.

Both of my dds told their bridesmaids to wear whatever they wanted. Both girls had a necklace that was their grandmother's, and they asked the bridesmaids to choose dresses which had similar colors. One of the bridesmaids was a poor college student and couldn't afford to buy anything, so she just wore a dress that she already had.

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Ddil had all the bridesmaids choose their own dresses, but in jewel colors. So there was a variety of color and style. They did look at them beforehand to make sure they would work together. The flowers were handmade bouquets of a variety, including sunflowers. It looked gorgeous, with rich color. One dd had a very small family wedding with no attendants (didn't want to choose between siblings). I'm afraid I can't remember what the other dd did for bridesmaid dresses (embarrassed face).

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On 2/22/2021 at 4:52 AM, Quill said:

Congratulations! My dd is getting married, too, in September. I was able to get a bunch of books from our public library through our contactless pickup. There is also Pinterest, The Knot, Wedding Wire and all sorts of Facebook or Reddit groups. They are all helpful. 

For dresses, one thing that is in style currently is to have the same color for the bridesmaids but allow them to choose the neckline/hem/sleeve style they prefer.  That way they can all feel comfortable with the cut with whatever body type they have. Flower girls don’t usually have the same color as bridesmaids, but it wouldn’t be wrong. Most often flower girls are in white, ivory or blush - they are the only participants who can wear the same color as the bride. 

None of the weddings I have attended had a veil down over the face. They were veils attached to a hair ornament and stayed in at the reception. In one recent wedding, the veil was sort of inside the bride’s bun and could not have been removed until her hair was let down. 

I like this trend.  My niece objected to the VERY low neckline of a dress she was asked to wear for a wedding she was going to be in.  The bride melted down and the friendship was ruined.  So weird.  

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I love that dress! I wore one very similar to my first wedding. (the issue with that marriage was the groom's mental instability, not the dress, I promise!!!)

In fact, when I picture a wedding dress, that is what i picture in my head, something like that. I also love the bridesmaid dresses and flower girl dress. 

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Oh, and those bridesmaid dresses should be perfectly able to be worn many more times! 

One wedding I was in was very casual - on the beach in south florida - and there were just two bridesmaids. We were told to go shopping together and pick out a dress we both liked - but NOT a bridesmaid dress. Just regular dress - we went to Macy's or somewhere like that and found a nice summer dress we both liked. I love that idea - having bridesmaids wear normal dresses (like what you are making) rather than overgrown prom dresses. 

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6 hours ago, Dreamergal said:

Thanks for the pattern pictures @Melissa in Australia. Everything looks so pretty especially the bride's dress. So wonderful you can make something like this. 

Will you practice on cheap fabric especially the bride's dress before making the actual one ? 

 

We are practising the bodice on some fabric I have at hand. Dd  wants to make sure the back isn't below brastrap level. 

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