Mental health effects of social distancing

[JenneinCA]

This social distancing is causing me problems.  Unlike almost everyone I know, I am having issues with the total lack of alone time.  All of a sudden instead of just me and the 15 year old (who comes out of his room only for food and bathroom breaks) at home for most of the day, I have a husband and two more college age kids in the house ALL THE TIME.  I am going to go insane if I don’t get some time with no one around, but it doesn’t look likely any time soon.  And it is currently raining...  so going back out for another two hour walk is not a good idea.

Anyone else out there with issues? 

[MysteryJen]

I hear you. Small house-extroverted dh and dd2.

I am browsing Amazon for more comfortable headphones.

[JustEm]

Well I stay home with my 6 kids under 12, so that is my daily life! Ha. And we still haven't gotten used to it. One thing I do to get my time in a filled house is lock my bedroom door for an hour to get me time. Dh isn't allowed in

[Terabith]

I'm really worried about this.  I mean, we don't go out a TON as it is, but I have two teens with anxiety/ depression, one of whose was recently REALLY bad, and is just coming out of it.  There are no cases within a couple hours of here, and I'm trying to figure out the line of how much to allow between isolation and mental health.  I'm really conscious of the need to flatten the curve, but with an epidemic that could go on for six months, I'm really concerned about the balance.  

[regentrude]

31 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I'm really worried about this.  I mean, we don't go out a TON as it is, but I have two teens with anxiety/ depression, one of whose was recently REALLY bad, and is just coming out of it.  There are no cases within a couple hours of here, and I'm trying to figure out the line of how much to allow between isolation and mental health.  I'm really conscious of the need to flatten the curve, but with an epidemic that could go on for six months, I'm really concerned about the balance.  

This, very much, as I mentioned in the other thread. Depression causes the brain not to recognize distorted thinking, and what seems obvious to a healthy person (this will end, it is temporary, there is hope, good things will happen again) seems unfathomable to somebody with mental illness. 

To keep numbers in perspective: every day, 129 Americans die, not of the corona virus, but by suicide. 47,000 people last year. That's a crisis nobody seems to care about. And for many at risk folks, social isolation will make the things much, much worse.

Edited March 15, 2020 by regentrude

[EKS]

I totally get it!  That is all.

[SKL]

Yeah, I normally work from home and I can't describe the relief I feel every time the last "other person" leaves the house.  It's bad enough when one other person is also working at home in another part of the house.  My alone time is like therapy.  Also it is very hard for me to focus on my work when other people are in the house.  The feeling that someone might interrupt me is almost as disruptive as actual interruptions.

Before kids, I used to do a lot of my work overnight and then sleep in.  Maybe I should switch back to that schedule for now.  Though it may be difficult to switch back when school opens again.  The other thing is that if I sleep in, the kids do too, and then they mirror my hours anyway.

I'm also concerned about the other side of things, as mentioned by regentrude.  We all need human contact - some more than others.  I feel for those who really can't risk it.  My kids' friend who is super social, asthmatic, ADHD, and lives with her granny.  It's gonna be hard.  Well, at least she has other kids at home to interact with, and text / phone / facetime ability.  My kids' other friend has multiple diagnoses including depression.  Her mom did say she would welcome an outdoor get-together.  People need people.

[BakersDozen]

My issue is a bit different...I have zero issues being home with any or all of the kids and can even have dh home, but when things close (businesses, etc.) I start to feel on edge and then panicky. Thanksgiving...I always hated that day. I'm not an "errand runner" and normally don't enjoy being out and about more than at home, but when I know I can't go out then I feel like the walls are closing in on me. We were stuck in the house due to bad weather and threatened illness this last week; what a relief to be able to hit the Y even at 10pm with the kiddos. Tonight we were told to expect it to close, and I felt the anxiety building. It's not people I want to be around but the ability to go out should I want to. Take that away from me...not good.

[wintermom]

Yes, I think the complete and sudden disruption in so many people's normal routine is going to be very challenging - for all ages of people. Having a reason to get up and about in the morning is what keeps many people going, and this is especially important when going through difficult times. 

Maybe regularly timed morning phone calls can become new routines to help each other in the next few weeks. I remember when I had 4 littles and was more or less house-bound in the winters; my home school friend and I used to call each other in the morning, and it really helped me feel supported and motivated to get on with the day. 

[Guest]

I am concerned for one of my friends. I've been teaching her kids piano and helping them homeschool regularly since her husband left and she had to go to work. Now, her job has been abruptly closed, and I really shouldn't see students because I'm at higher risk from this thing due to preexisting conditions. But I'm really worried about her and her kids, especially her 13 yr old, for whom music is a major release. Maybe I can work something out via FaceTime?

[wintermom]

1 hour ago, dmmetler said:

I am concerned for one of my friends. I've been teaching her kids piano and helping them homeschool regularly since her husband left and she had to go to work. Now, her job has been abruptly closed, and I really shouldn't see students because I'm at higher risk from this thing due to preexisting conditions. But I'm really worried about her and her kids, especially her 13 yr old, for whom music is a major release. Maybe I can work something out via FaceTime?

That is a great idea. My friend owns a music school in a small town, and they're doing on-line lessons for the next 3 weeks (perhaps beyond). 

[Guest]

I'm not going online for most of my students because I mostly teach beginners under the age of 10, and many of my students are under the age of 6. We do a lot of moving, dancing around, and playing games. I'm sending links to activities and extra fun music and stuff like that to parents via google Classroom, and I've paid for a one Month Prodigies music subscription for my youngest students, but I just don't think I can do online with them effectively. But with a 13 yr old, I think it might work well-and I'm very worried about her emotional state if she loses piano on top of everything else. And I can probably still do math, etc over FaceTime.

[HSmomof2]

13 hours ago, BakersDozen said:

My issue is a bit different...I have zero issues being home with any or all of the kids and can even have dh home, but when things close (businesses, etc.) I start to feel on edge and then panicky. Thanksgiving...I always hated that day. I'm not an "errand runner" and normally don't enjoy being out and about more than at home, but when I know I can't go out then I feel like the walls are closing in on me. We were stuck in the house due to bad weather and threatened illness this last week; what a relief to be able to hit the Y even at 10pm with the kiddos. Tonight we were told to expect it to close, and I felt the anxiety building. It's not people I want to be around but the ability to go out should I want to. Take that away from me...not good.

I get this......I’m also not out and about constantly and am an introvert, but the feeling of not being able to go out or not being able to get things is raising my anxiety. Yesterday I had to go out to pick up a couple prescriptions and a few grocery items. The store wasn’t crowded at all but obviously had been. When I saw the empty shelves with no bread, no cereal, canned goods, paper products, or even flour and sugar, I almost started to cry. I’ve been watching the news and have been preparing but seeing this really upset me. I’m hoping once the panic buying is over, grocery stores will be able to restock. 
I’m also concerned for my very extroverted teen ds, who also deals with anxiety. He’s very unhappy his classes will all be online for spring quarter, and his need for a lot of interaction and talking does wear down myself and dd, who are both introverts. Dh will be working from home and is very much an extrovert like ds, so hopefully they can keep each other company while dd and I take a break in our rooms each day. 😊

[Junie]

When I need some time by myself, I like to go for a drive.  Gas prices are low (at least where I live).

When I was in college, I sometimes needed some time away from roommates and I would get in my car, drive out of the city to a small town 30 minutes away, get a milkshake, and drive home.  That hour or so by myself every so often with a small treat was truly helpful.

[Raymond876]

On 3/15/2020 at 1:42 AM, JenneinCA said:

This social distancing is causing me problems.  Unlike almost everyone I know, I am having issues with the total lack of alone time.  All of a sudden instead of just me and the 15 year old (who comes out of his room only for food and bathroom breaks) at home for most of the day, I have a husband and two more college age kids in the house ALL THE TIME.  I am going to go insane if I don’t get some time with no one around, but it doesn’t look likely any time soon.  And it is currently raining...  so going back out for another two hour walk is not a good idea.

Anyone else out there with issues? 

 

I understand you, before, it used to be a necessity for me to be alone and social disruption caused me problems.

Now it’s much better, but sometimes I’m afraid to go back to the time. Now I understand that mental health is the most important, and I try to work on myself all the time, walk a lot in the fresh air, for me it is the best way to feel good and happy.

Of course, there're difficult times, when I withdraw into myself and don't contact with others, I read a lot about mental health, I like articles on this resource https://studydriver.com/drug-abuse/ Sometimes I find a little depressive material to understand what happens much harder and worse and people cope with it, and that my problems are not so global. It always reminds me that we need to be grateful for everything and appreciate what we have.

Take care yourself

Raymond.

 

Edited May 26, 2020 by Raymond876

[Pen]

I don’t know if it would help anyone, but today’s Doctor John video is on mental / emotional health during CV19 

[Pen]

https://youtu.be/5U4Fa5EyNzE

https://youtu.be/5U4Fa5EyNzE

[Arcadia]

My new exercise bike is at my patio so I could bike and watch YouTube for at least an hour there even when the weather isn’t great (I just bike with my down jacket on). 
 

My husband and I would go on regular car joyrides on Saturday or Sunday. We just came back from a 5hr car ride. Went to Home Depot for insecticide. 

I stay in a condo. To see “civilization” we can sit at the patio and look out for UPS truck, FedEx truck, DHL truck, Amazon Prime van, USPS can as they come by almost daily. 
 

My husband would retreat to the bedroom. He does his conference calls in the bedroom anyway as kids have online classes in the living room. 
 

I am a mild extrovert who doesn’t need to chat. I go to the neighborhood parks and green belt for walks to see people. 

[Frances]

On 3/14/2020 at 5:39 PM, regentrude said:

This, very much, as I mentioned in the other thread. Depression causes the brain not to recognize distorted thinking, and what seems obvious to a healthy person (this will end, it is temporary, there is hope, good things will happen again) seems unfathomable to somebody with mental illness. 

To keep numbers in perspective: every day, 129 Americans die, not of the corona virus, but by suicide. 47,000 people last year. That's a crisis nobody seems to care about. And for many at risk folks, social isolation will make the things much, much worse.

I’m not sure it’s fair to say nobody cares. My state leads the country in cases of depression and there are active attempts to address it and lower the rate of suicide. Certainly there is always more that can be done, but I hear about it all of the time here. As one example, students recently advocated for and got permission to take mental health days. Also, we recently enacted a new type of tax with all of the revenue going to education and one of the main things added will be more school counselors and mental health professionals.

[LucyStoner]

So, we have a range of behavioral and mental health dx already.   Everyone in the house has either an ADHD or ASD dx and there are various dx for different anxiety and depression issues.  Everyone here sees a therapist and has a medical doctor that they see for medication management.  While we are extremely fortunate to have access to this level of care, we have also structured our lives very intentionally so that we would have access to it.  I wish we didn't have to play that game and that everyone had decent access to mental health care. 

That's the baseline that we live with and manage on a day to day basis.  

Fortunately, everyone of our mental health related visits just went digital without any big hiccups or interruptions in care.  

This has been hardest on my oldest son (who felt like as soon as he was doing better, feeling more confident to be social, he's now stuck inside and there's uncertainty about school/college options) and then me.  What makes it hard for me is that I am trying to parent, scaffold kids with high support needs for their education and maintain my work.  It's been a reminder that I need to set boundaries about my work time even when people need things+ be frank with my husband about his expectations of what working from home means vs. my reality.  When I get depressed, I tend to procrastinate and that makes everything that much worse. It's not be easy for anyone but for my younger son and husband, the benefits outweigh the negatives. My husband loves working from home and not having to commute, my younger son adores having more time to just do whatever by himself and with his brother.   There's also just a certain layer of anxiety about what is going on politically that all of us, especially my older son, are prone to dwell on.  

We are 4 people in a small space.  My husband works a fulltime IT job from home, I am running my accounting business from home and both boys are school age.  Everyone has noise cancelling headphones, which helps.  

When I need a total break, I stand under the shower in the dark.  Seems a bit odd but it helps me a lot.  I wish I had a tub large enough to soak in.  

Edited May 18, 2020 by LucyStoner

[Guest]

On 3/15/2020 at 11:44 AM, dmmetler said:

I'm not going online for most of my students because I mostly teach beginners under the age of 10, and many of my students are under the age of 6. We do a lot of moving, dancing around, and playing games. I'm sending links to activities and extra fun music and stuff like that to parents via google Classroom, and I've paid for a one Month Prodigies music subscription for my youngest students, but I just don't think I can do online with them effectively. But with a 13 yr old, I think it might work well-and I'm very worried about her emotional state if she loses piano on top of everything else. And I can probably still do math, etc over FaceTime.

FWIW, I did end up taking almost all my students online (three chose to just get materials digitally, and since all three were kindergarten or younger, I can't blame them) and, while the first few weeks were rough, for the most part, I think it ended up being good for all of us. I actually have fewer students taking the summer off than usual, even online. And I started two new just finished kindergartners last week, completely online. 

Now that it's going well, I'm a lot happier. 

[Janeway]

A friend of mine who does not live near me, she is more of a family friend, and she is older and retired, does a lot of volunteer type work with her church and some medical clinic for veterans. Apparently, they have seen a big rise in deaths, not Covid, but stroke and heart attacks. And they seem to be related to the distancing stuff. In some cases, they are too scared to go to the doctor so missed medication, in at least one case, had a surgery cancelled and died as a result, and in the rest, we are guessing just loneliness and such. Way more people seem to be dying from the quarantine than from Covid. Also, the few people I did know in the medical field have all either been furloughed or had their hours cut so much that they are struggling financially. One person was laid off and his family is really struggling. The quarantine is doing more harm than good at this point so I no longer support it. I am out and about. I took my children to the gym today. We have been going to the parks. 

Edited May 18, 2020 by Janeway

[Lecka]

My son is going to see one of his friends soon, who has been having a hard time.  I talked to his mom, and they have been going outdoors as a family, except for him, because he is having allergy issues and I think he might have asthma. 

His mom said that hanging online is just not cutting it and he is not doing well.  

[mathnerd]

I grew up in a small, noisy house with introvert tendencies. So, to adapt, i became an extreme night owl. This has been a life saver for me during the lockdown. I get space and time when everyone else goes to sleep.