Breastfeeding in public question

[MercyA]

Starting to feel slightly dog piled here. 😉 I'm not going to try to quote everyone, but suffice to say:

When I think of situations that might make someone uncomfortable, I have in mind things like Momto6inIN mentioned. She wrote: "I do find somewhere else to nurse around, for example, my 78yo FIL who is a wonderful godly man whose wife nursed 7 children but who is very conservative and while he would never ever say anything to me about it he would be very internally embarrassed. Or at church where we have a very convenient nursing room with several other mothers who use it and where I feel nursing might be disruptive to some people's concentration and enjoyment of the service. Or when I hosted a gaggle of tween/teen boys in our home."

I know that some--not all--people in my church would be uncomfortable if I nursed in the service itself--so I would find somewhere else to do it. Would I miss out on part of the service? Sure. Motherhood involves sacrifice sometimes. I don't think it's all that shocking to occasionally inconvenience one's self to avoid making others uncomfortable. 

[Lady Florida.]

I agree that she probably meant well but I wouldn't have moved either. 

[MercyA]

1 hour ago, Aura said:

Jesus called the disciples out when they wanted to keep the kids away from him. Maybe having the kids around was culturally unacceptable. Maybe it made the disciples uncomfortable to let little kids around while they're talking grown-up religious stuff. I bet it was certainly a distraction. But Jesus did the compassionate thing: he made them face their assumptions and reminded them what was really important.

This is a good and interesting point.

[JustEm]

4 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Starting to feel slightly dog piled here. 😉 I'm not going to try to quote everyone, but suffice to say:

When I think of situations that might make someone uncomfortable, I have in mind things like Momto6inIN mentioned. She wrote: "I do find somewhere else to nurse around, for example, my 78yo FIL who is a wonderful godly man whose wife nursed 7 children but who is very conservative and while he would never ever say anything to me about it he would be very internally embarrassed. Or at church where we have a very convenient nursing room with several other mothers who use it and where I feel nursing might be disruptive to some people's concentration and enjoyment of the service. Or when I hosted a gaggle of tween/teen boys in our home."

I know that some--not all--people in my church would be uncomfortable if I nursed in the service itself--so I would find somewhere else to do it. Would I miss out on part of the service? Sure. Motherhood involves sacrifice sometimes. I don't think it's all that shocking to occasionally inconvenience one's self to avoid making others uncomfortable. 

 

I don't mean to dog pile on you. Using a church service as the example, I can't imagine Christ wanting anyone to exclude themselves and their child from worship because other people at that service are uncomfortable with the act of feeding a child naturally. The Christ I know would follow you to that nursing room and continue teaching or he would speak up and tell all those uncomfortable people that they are wrong to expect you to excuse yourself.

[Lady Florida.]

On 10/19/2019 at 11:02 AM, Quill said:

Well, that’s the means God gave mammals to nourish babies. I mean, I haven’t ever seen a person embarrassed at seeing a calf suckle or a mama cat suckling a litter. I *am* in favor of covering the equipment as well as possible, and I do agree there are some places it would be best to find a discreet location - I never felt comfortable sitting with my BILs and nephews at a family dinner and just nursing right there. I found a bedroom for nursing a baby in those situations. Or like, in the church sanctuary or something, I wouldn’t personally, though I have seen it done by bolder woman and I feel like, meh, not for me, but you do you! 

I think it is a net positive for society for us to normalize bfing babies. 

I only nursed one (my only bio child) and I did it in the late 90s when NIP was just starting to gain traction. I almost always nursed in public but when I was at my IL's and there were a bunch of teenage nephews there, I usually went into a bedroom. It didn't bother me but I knew it would embarrass them.

One time dh's 87 yo grandmother was visiting from Tennessee. I could hear her from where I was in the bedroom asking about the baby and me. Someone must have told her, and then I heard her say, "Maybe I'm just an old country girl but I always fed my babies where ever we were. They gotta eat." I loved dh's Mamaw. 🙂❤️ 

[MercyA]

8 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

As for stumbling blocks - I mean, some people are really into all sorts of odd things. If some dude came up to you and said that he got really turned on by the sight of earlobes and would you please help him out by hiding your ears, would you even give him the time of day? Go down that path and pretty soon you'll never leave your house, but wouldn't you know, there's somebody out there who's turned on by the thought of that. Walks by the window, mmm, all those ladies inside. You can't win.

Stepping completely aside from the issue of breastfeeding for a moment--modesty for me is avoiding dressing in a way that a *reasonable* man in *our culture* might find to be a temptation to lust. This is a religious conviction for me based on my understanding of Scripture. I don't expect everyone to share it, and as I said earlier, I don't have the time or inclination for a long discussion on modesty right now. 

I believe uncovered breasts in general to be a temptation to lust for most normal men in our culture. The context does matter--for example, a woman uncovered at the doctor's office is not immodest. And I have come to believe that there are certainly times and places (in history and now) when uncovered breasts while nursing are also not immodest. I still believe not using a nursing cover in public in our culture at this time is immodest. This could change.

I think I've pretty well summed up my position, and I need to get ready for two events tomorrow! So carry on ladies, but I need to step aside from this thread for a bit. Thanks for all the food for thought. Pun intended. 😉 

[Scarlett]

37 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Starting to feel slightly dog piled here. 😉 I'm not going to try to quote everyone, but suffice to say:

When I think of situations that might make someone uncomfortable, I have in mind things like Momto6inIN mentioned. She wrote: "I do find somewhere else to nurse around, for example, my 78yo FIL who is a wonderful godly man whose wife nursed 7 children but who is very conservative and while he would never ever say anything to me about it he would be very internally embarrassed. Or at church where we have a very convenient nursing room with several other mothers who use it and where I feel nursing might be disruptive to some people's concentration and enjoyment of the service. Or when I hosted a gaggle of tween/teen boys in our home."

I know that some--not all--people in my church would be uncomfortable if I nursed in the service itself--so I would find somewhere else to do it. Would I miss out on part of the service? Sure. Motherhood involves sacrifice sometimes. I don't think it's all that shocking to occasionally inconvenience one's self to avoid making others uncomfortable. 

Well, as a person who is often dog piled on I do feel your pain.  LOL  I don't actually think you are so far off from the way most of us think.  

[Lady Florida.]

I'm only halfway through the second page and already quoted 5 posts, so I'm going to post, continue reading, and possibly quote more

 

On 10/19/2019 at 11:13 PM, maize said:

I think the discomfort stems from the fact that we as a society have forgotten that the primary purpose of female breasts is to feed babies and instead view them as primarily sexual objects.

The way to undo that misconception is to normalize breastfeeding, not hide it away.

Lips may also be seen as sexual/sensual but we don't think of that as their primary purpose so no one is embarrassed by people walking around with their mouths exposed.

In societies where public breastfeeding is the norm men and boys are not uncomfortable around women breastfeeding.

 

On 10/20/2019 at 12:04 AM, DesertBlossom said:

I think the issue for me is that it shouldn't make people uncomfortable.  We need to change that about our culture. We need to get to a point where women nursing discreetly don't raise any eyebrows. I think we are where we are because breastfeeding rates dropped so low for such a long time that people aren't used to seeing it. My SIL said that before having her own babies she did not know anyone who breastfed. In other countries where breastfeeding rates are much higher, nobody cares because they see it all. the. time.

 

Yes to both of these. As long as people, including nursing mothers, keep treating breastfeeding as something to be hidden, Americans will continue to believe it's something to be hidden. Sometimes people do need to be made uncomfortable in order to get over an irrational discomfort.

 

On 10/20/2019 at 8:09 AM, Quill said:

I could hardly make better points than @EmseB and @maize made in their posts; it’s pretty much exactly my thoughts on this subject. 

IMO, men feeling that the actual function of breasts is dirty or indecent very definitely harkens to patriarchal notions that a woman’s breasts are primarily for sexual pleasure and for him to look at. Many notions of beauty and sexiness are built on women’s body parts NOT being maternal. I think some men do think it’s a buzz kill to be “forced” to acknowledge breasts as maternal, not sexual. 

 

 

 

Yep. Unfortunately men have convinced  women that breasts are for male sexual pleasure. The change has to start with the people who own those body parts. Men aren't going to suddenly say "Breasts are for feeding babies, not for our pleasure!"

 

21 hours ago, MercyA said:

 

I don't know anyone like this and have never heard anyone express anything like this. For me and for those in my church and family, it really just is as simple as this: breasts are private parts of a woman's body that should be kept covered for modesty. It's not complicated, and it doesn't have anything to do with patriarchy or perversion. Men--especially the men I know--don't want to see a friend or family member's uncovered breasts or know they might accidentally see them if they're not averting their eyes. I don't think that's prudishness. I think it's righteousness and I think it's honoring to the women they know. I don't expect everyone to agree with my view.

But the whole reason breasts are seen as private parts of a woman's body that should be kept covered is because men have sexualized breasts. 

 

21 hours ago, Quill said:

But, Mercy, is it not true that people can be uncomfortable about things when they truly ARE the one who needs to change? It wasn’t long ago in our country’s history that it was extremely easy to find someone who found it offensive for a black or dark-skinned person to be in a relationship with a white person. When that movie with Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston came out (was it called The Bodyguard?) it was in the 90s IIRC, and it was considered ground breaking because a black woman and a white man kissed in that movie. Whitney Houston! A beautiful black woman! *KISSING* Kevin Costner, a white man! 

Now? That is so pedestrian. Which it should be! Love who you love...

 

Captain Kirk kissed Lt. Uhura in 1968. Just sayin' 😄 

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/tvs-first-interracial-kiss-star-896843

[Lady Florida.]

17 hours ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

High heels are attractive because of what they do to the calf muscle. 

 

They exaggerate the way women walk, which makes it appear sexy.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201508/why-high-heels-make-women-more-attractive

[SKL]

I think it is fine for them to let you know there is a private place if you want to use it.  Some people do prefer to breastfeed in private.

As for her seeming a little flustered, it could mean she has sensitivities herself, or it could mean she was worrying that maybe you took offense.  Don't worry about it either way.  It isn't your problem, unless of course you "shot her a look" that she didn't actually deserve.  🙂

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Paige said:

I don't think a preference for vulnerability would be a good evolutionary preference. Men prefer signs of fertility and health, but the evolutionary best choice would include strength. They should prefer a woman who looks like she's able to protect the children or at least live long enough to nurse them and not be eaten by the bear. 

I believe heels accentuate the legs and the muscles of the legs and the accent on the musculature and length is what many people find more attractive. 

I’m not referring to an evolutionary signal; I’m talking more recently in history than that, say, Biblical times and then also modern times. So, in Biblical times, women had to get a man to marry her or, if not, then be kept for sex work. Or, in modern times, I would say the emphasis on sex without the consequences of children - or any reminders that children might be a product of sex - influences what is considered sexy and beautiful in clothing and shoes. The vulnerability aspect harkens to a woman who is young and helpless. Being in painful shoes that impede mobility highlights vulnerability, which I believe some or many men find sexy. Otherwise, what reason could men possibly give if they actually prefer their date/gf or wife wear high heels that hurt her feet and impede movement? 

I actually really wish I had a test group of a range of hetero men to ask a bunch of questions about sexy shoes right now. I think it would be fascinating to study...

[SKL]

I dunno, I think really high heels are usually chosen by the woman for her own reasons.  I have never ever bought or worn shoes with more than a 1" heel and I am pretty sure nobody cared.  My dad and 3 brothers have never said a word around me about their opinions re women's shoes.  On the other hand, I have a daughter who's been obsessed with heels since she was little.

I have known women who told me they prefer high heels.  It surprised me, but, whatever floats your boat.  I think our generation is too well conditioned to blame everything we don't like on men.

[Scarlett]

19 minutes ago, Lady Florida. said:

They exaggerate the way women walk, which makes it appear sexy.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201508/why-high-heels-make-women-more-attractive

This is what dh says too.

 

[SereneHome]

Totally off topic but @Scarlett - did I read it right - you have a DIL?  did you son got married??

 

[Lady Florida.]

14 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

This is what dh says too.

 

I posted before I finished reading the thread, then saw your post about it.

[Paige]

I was also raised to put others first and to avoid unnecessarily upsetting or offending others when it is in my power. The older I get, however, I see there is an unequal privilege for who gets to be offended and uncomfortable, and an unequal burden on who is taught not to be offended by and to be comfortable with the daily normal activities of life and bodies of the opposite sex. It’s women who are submitting and accommodating more because we are conditioned to accept more and to be comfortable with more. 

I don’t think it’s a conscious thought of any man, even extremely conscientious and supportive men, to put that burden on us. I think the world would benefit, however, if men were conditioned to be more comfortable with the different activities and types of bodies of women.

 

[Momto6inIN]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I think it is fine for them to let you know there is a private place if you want to use it.  Some people do prefer to breastfeed in private.

As for her seeming a little flustered, it could mean she has sensitivities herself, or it could mean she was worrying that maybe you took offense.  Don't worry about it either way.  It isn't your problem, unless of course you "shot her a look" that she didn't actually deserve.  🙂

Lol! I did not give her any dirty looks, I promise 🙂

it wasn't until she was walking away that it even occurred to me.

[ktgrok]

2 hours ago, MercyA said:

 

I know that some--not all--people in my church would be uncomfortable if I nursed in the service itself--so I would find somewhere else to do it. Would I miss out on part of the service? Sure. Motherhood involves sacrifice sometimes. I don't think it's all that shocking to occasionally inconvenience one's self to avoid making others uncomfortable. 

Would this same idea, that it is better to miss out on the service than make others uncomfortable, apply if say, you were a person of color at an all white church, and you being there was making some racist people feel uncomfortable? Would Jesus think you should make the racist people more comfortable by leaving, or would he think you should stay?

Again, "comfort" is not something Christianity really promotes. Most of Christianity is hard work, at least for me! I mean, pray for my enemies? That's not comfortable AT ALL! But Jesus didn't say 'oh, well, if it is uncomfortable I'll stop teaching that". 

[ktgrok]

Also, as for nursing without a cover, I wear a loose blouse or t-shirt and just pull it up, with the baby covering anything the shirt does not. I've nursed that way in mixed company many times where no one even knew what I was doing. (I know because they wondered why I wasn't eating - it was because I was supporting the baby's head with my dominant hand and didn't want to eat salad with my left, lol)

[Momto6inIN]

2 hours ago, MercyA said:

Starting to feel slightly dog piled here. 😉 I'm not going to try to quote everyone, but suffice to say:

When I think of situations that might make someone uncomfortable, I have in mind things like Momto6inIN mentioned. She wrote: "I do find somewhere else to nurse around, for example, my 78yo FIL who is a wonderful godly man whose wife nursed 7 children but who is very conservative and while he would never ever say anything to me about it he would be very internally embarrassed. Or at church where we have a very convenient nursing room with several other mothers who use it and where I feel nursing might be disruptive to some people's concentration and enjoyment of the service. Or when I hosted a gaggle of tween/teen boys in our home."

I know that some--not all--people in my church would be uncomfortable if I nursed in the service itself--so I would find somewhere else to do it. Would I miss out on part of the service? Sure. Motherhood involves sacrifice sometimes. I don't think it's all that shocking to occasionally inconvenience one's self to avoid making others uncomfortable. 

I'm sorry you feel dog piled on - that was not my intent!!!!

We actually agree on a lot more than we disagree on ... I just think teasing out the more nuanced points where we disagree is interesting 🙂

[EmseB]

2 minutes ago, Momto6inIN said:

I'm sorry you feel dog piled on - that was not my intent!!!!

We actually agree on a lot more than we disagree on ... I just think teasing out the more nuanced points where we disagree is interesting 🙂

This could be my motto for why I hang out on discussion boards, lol.

[scholastica]

1 hour ago, Lady Florida. said:

 

 

Yep. Unfortunately men have convinced  women that breasts are for male sexual pleasure. The change has to start with the people who own those body parts. Men aren't going to suddenly say "Breasts are for feeding babies, not for our pleasure!"

 

But the whole reason breasts are seen as private parts of a woman's body that should be kept covered is because men have sexualized breasts. 

 

 

The first ties back into Quill's post about sex without consequences making women's bodies purely about pleasure for a lot of men.

The second is not the fault of men, per se. Breasts are part of sexual arousal especially for women, so they have always been sexualized to a certain degree. Dual purpose, so to speak, get those babies made and then feed them.

[ktgrok]

26 minutes ago, scholastica said:

The first ties back into Quill's post about sex without consequences making women's bodies purely about pleasure for a lot of men.

The second is not the fault of men, per se. Breasts are part of sexual arousal especially for women, so they have always been sexualized to a certain degree. Dual purpose, so to speak, get those babies made and then feed them.

But nipples are erogenous zones for men, too, and yet plenty of men have no issue with going around shirtless at the beach. And advertisements show men shirtless, etc. 

And again, kissing is very sensual/sexual but lips are not kidding or private. 

[scholastica]

9 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

But nipples are erogenous zones for men, too, and yet plenty of men have no issue with going around shirtless at the beach. And advertisements show men shirtless, etc. 

And again, kissing is very sensual/sexual but lips are not kidding or private. 

There have been and continue to be cultures where neither sex covers breasts. Both men and women walk around topless and that is the norm. It’s a cultural thing for women to cover breasts and yes it is sexist. I’d prefer if men kept their shirts on too in public. 

[maize]

47 minutes ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

But then why did men wear them for so long? (And here is where I admit I haven't read the linked article yet, lol.)

Edited to add: okay, I've read it now, and my question remains the same. In France, iirc, men often wore heels that were taller than what many women wore. Other cultures over time have also adopted high heels for both genders, and it was always my understanding that the purpose was to show off a particularly well toned calf. I have no links to back this up, just speculation.

 

Men tend to benefit from being or appearing tall; there's a reason the average height of US presidents is above the national male average.

Edited October 21, 2019 by maize

[SKL]

I would also prefer not to see male or female breasts in public.  But since I've been seeing them all my life, male breasts usually don't register with me.  My kids, however, used to declare "that man is naked!" every time they saw a shirtless man.  They still don't like seeing that either.  Wish more people felt that way, LOL.  But ... I don't care enough to make a fuss about it.  On the flip side, you see lots of female skin in certain places where men cover those same body parts - for example, formal wear.  Even summer shorts and sports clothes - you see less of men's legs, and I'm totally fine with that too.  😛

 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, maize said:

Men tend to benefit from being or appearing tall; there's a reason the average height of US presidents is above the national male average.

Yeah, but after I read the article I was thinking, so did heel-wearing men in France sashay about? Did women think it was attractive? Lol! (Hmm, the word sashay seems like it could be derived from French; maybe it originally was applied to fancy men with high boots! Lol!) I would be interested when, precisely, in US history certain clothing or accessories began to be viewed as feminine and, therefore, were spurned by men. Like, say, ruffles on shirts, pantaloons under knickers, and, yes, heels on shoes. I would guess the lower classes didn’t have them because it was expensive, but I wonder when upper classes started disliking being “dandy”? 

[SKL]

19 minutes ago, Quill said:

Yeah, but after I read the article I was thinking, so did heel-wearing men in France sashay about? Did women think it was attractive? Lol! (Hmm, the word sashay seems like it could be derived from French; maybe it originally was applied to fancy men with high boots! Lol!) I would be interested when, precisely, in US history certain clothing or accessories began to be viewed as feminine and, therefore, were spurned by men. Like, say, ruffles on shirts, pantaloons under knickers, and, yes, heels on shoes. I would guess the lower classes didn’t have them because it was expensive, but I wonder when upper classes started disliking being “dandy”? 

I never thought about it before, but I always liked watching Prince dancing in heels (and ruffles too).  😛  I also recall that when we were in middle school, the boys used to wear dress shoes with a fat heel.  I remember my brother liked the style because he was short.  😛

[Rosie_0801]

I reckon people will be more uncomfortable listening to a baby scream than the baby being fed. I might have reminded a few people of that, back in my nursing days, and they remembered they agreed.

[Guest]

I had a bunch of teen/older tween kids and a few parents (mostly moms, one dad) and siblings at my house today, and one of the moms nursed her 9 month old. The only one who seemed to notice was a 4 yr old who went to his mom and asked if he could nurse-she told him "no, before bed", and found him a snack. I don't think any of the teens noticed. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I reckon people will be more uncomfortable listening to a baby scream than the baby being fed. I might have reminded a few people of that, back in my nursing days, and they remembered they agreed.

😂 Good point, lol! 

[unsinkable]

2 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I reckon people will be more uncomfortable listening to a baby scream than the baby being fed. I might have reminded a few people of that, back in my nursing days, and they remembered they agreed.

If this is directed toward me or inspired by my post and is meant to somehow imply I let my babies scream rather than feed them bc their nursing noises made people uncomfortable, you could not be more wrong.

[EmseB]

7 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

If this is directed toward me or inspired by my post and is meant to somehow imply I let my babies scream rather than feed them bc their nursing noises made people uncomfortable, you could not be more wrong.

I really don't think her post was directed to you at all but rather people who don't want women to nurse in public. 

[unsinkable]

6 minutes ago, EmseB said:

I really don't think her post was directed to you at all but rather people who don't want women to nurse in public. 

I'm pretty sure I am the only (?) poster who mentioned having noisy nursers.

So it's not a leap for me to assume that someone who then mentions listening to a baby being fed might actually be referring to my post.

And I'm not going to put up with *any insinuation* that I let my babies scream with hunger in order to not make people uncomfortable.

[maize]

4 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

I'm pretty sure I am the only (?) poster who mentioned having noisy nursers.

So it's not a leap for me to assume that someone who then mentions listening to a baby being fed might actually be referring to my post.

And I'm not going to put up with *any insinuation* that I let my babies scream with hunger in order to not make people uncomfortable.

There was no such insinuation. Rosie's post was clearly referencing people who disapproved of hearing nursing noises from other people's babies and her response to them. Not in any way directed at the mother of a noisy nurser.

[EmseB]

1 minute ago, unsinkable said:

I'm pretty sure I am the only (?) poster who mentioned having noisy nursers.

So it's not a leap for me to assume that someone who then mentions listening to a baby being fed might actually be referring to my post.

And I'm not going to put up with *any insinuation* that I let my babies scream with hunger in order to not make people uncomfortable.

Right, I'm just saying I don't think think the implication/insinuation you're seeing is actually there. Noisy nursing has nothing to do with screaming from hunger...and that's not really Rosie's posting style anyway. But if you're convinced she was talking about you I guess I can't convince you otherwise, except to say that as someone following the thread it never even occurred to me that the two posts were related. 

[maize]

3 hours ago, SKL said:

I never thought about it before, but I always liked watching Prince dancing in heels (and ruffles too).  😛  I also recall that when we were in middle school, the boys used to wear dress shoes with a fat heel.  I remember my brother liked the style because he was short.  😛

I've never seen a man in stilettos though, I doubt any have ever worn them unless they were in drag.

Not that I've ever worn them either!

Riding boots usually have a decent heel, helps them stay in the stirrup. Men's ballroom dance shoes do have a heel.

So do Irish dance shoes, they definitely make my boys taller 🙂

Edited October 22, 2019 by maize

[mumto2]

3 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I reckon people will be more uncomfortable listening to a baby scream than the baby being fed. I might have reminded a few people of that, back in my nursing days, and they remembered they agreed.

I think she is referring to a baby screaming who is hungry and not being fed because in public etc.

fwiw my ds was a noisy nurser.  Dd was highly distractible so keeping her head where I wanted/needed it was pretty impossible when nursing in public. 

[Melissa in Australia]

I had noisy nursers  as well. My milk came out under high pressure. My babies had to gulp to keep up.   Good thing was they were quick feeders, 5 minutes and they were full. 

 

[unsinkable]

OMG...now people will try to shame me by telling me about how all their babies could both nurse and shriek at 100 decibels and they never felt the need to go nurse in the toilet to avoid making The Man uncomfortable, like I did. (Except that wasn't at all what I said).

Got it.

 

[ktgrok]

11 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

OMG...now people will try to shame me by telling me about how all their babies could both nurse and shriek at 100 decibels and they never felt the need to go nurse in the toilet to avoid making The Man uncomfortable, like I did. (Except that wasn't at all what I said).

Got it.

 

Um, no one is doing that. 

If a woman is more comfortable nursing in private, that's fine. But she shouldn't have to do it for the comfort of others, that's all. It should be about her comfort, and her baby's comfort, not anyone else. No one is saying women re not allowed to nurse in private, only that they shouldn't be forced to.

 

Edited October 22, 2019 by Ktgrok

[Lady Florida.]

4 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I reckon people will be more uncomfortable listening to a baby scream than the baby being fed. I might have reminded a few people of that, back in my nursing days, and they remembered they agreed.

This is an example of why so many of us wish we could like your posts. 😊

[unsinkable]

5 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

Um, no one is doing that. 

If a woman is more comfortable nursing in private, that's fine. But she shouldn't have to do it for the comfort of others, that's all. It should be about her comfort, and her baby's comfort, not anyone else. No one is saying women re not allowed to nurse in private, only that they shouldn't be forced to.

 

You just proved my point. 

[ktgrok]

2 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

You just proved my point. 

I did? I said women shouldn't be forced to nurse in private, but if they want to - if they feel more comfortable doing so or their baby nurses better that way, that's of course okay. Are you saying that that comment is shaming you? Because I don't see how. Unless you yourself are trying to force others to nurse in public, which I don't think you are?

[unsinkable]

2 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

I did? I said women shouldn't be forced to nurse in private, but if they want to - if they feel more comfortable doing so or their baby nurses better that way, that's of course okay. Are you saying that that comment is shaming you? Because I don't see how. Unless you yourself are trying to force others to nurse in public, which I don't think you are?

I never told anyone where they should Or shouldn't nurse. 

Nor did I make my comment about my noisy nursers in regard to where to nurse. 

But the responses I'm getting are AS IF that is what I posted. 

It is so predictable it is ridiculous. 

 

[maize]

I've had several who like to hum while they nurse, we call their little tunes "nursing melodies".

[EmseB]

1 hour ago, unsinkable said:

OMG...now people will try to shame me by telling me about how all their babies could both nurse and shriek at 100 decibels and they never felt the need to go nurse in the toilet to avoid making The Man uncomfortable, like I did. (Except that wasn't at all what I said).

Got it.

 

I think you're taking posts too personally. No one is subversively or overtly directing replies to shame you. This is honestly sort of bizarre that you are accusing multiple people of this.

[Melissa in Australia]

2 hours ago, unsinkable said:

OMG...now people will try to shame me by telling me about how all their babies could both nurse and shriek at 100 decibels and they never felt the need to go nurse in the toilet to avoid making The Man uncomfortable, like I did. (Except that wasn't at all what I said).

Got it.

 

On no I was saying I had noisy nursers in support of you , not to make you feel bad

 I am so sorry if I upset you . 😞 

[Junie]

7 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I reckon people will be more uncomfortable listening to a baby scream than the baby being fed. I might have reminded a few people of that, back in my nursing days, and they remembered they agreed.

 

4 hours ago, unsinkable said:

I'm pretty sure I am the only (?) poster who mentioned having noisy nursers.

So it's not a leap for me to assume that someone who then mentions listening to a baby being fed might actually be referring to my post.

And I'm not going to put up with *any insinuation* that I let my babies scream with hunger in order to not make people uncomfortable.

I *think* that Rosie was saying that people will be more uncomfortable with a mother letting a baby scream from hunger compared to feeding the baby.  I understand how you could read it as the noise of a baby screaming vs. the noise of a baby being fed, and how you could take that personally, but I don't think that was what Rosie meant.

 

[Rosie_0801]

Unsinkable, you're so much fun when you drop Occam's razor down the loo, so you can feel accused enough to justify yourself in accusing other people of being monstrous, so you can turn yourself into a victim, I only regret I'm not the type to set you off deliberately.