mlktwins Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 (edited) So...I have posted a few times in the past year about having to clean out my dad's house of 50+ years. I moved my dad to an apartment in December and then it was on me (and some my DH - work permitting) getting all the stuff taken care of. So...I took a few more things to his place, I packed a few boxes of special things for me, I packed and am delivering about 10 boxes to my sister in NC on Wednesday. The rest went in an estate sale and/or was hauled away by a company we had to pay to remove stuff. I am so done with stuff!!! I am now on a mission to finally go through my house to really de-clutter. I wanted to get this done last year, before my boys started high school, but that didn't happen with needing to help my dad. I really want this done this year!!! I witnessed first hand my dad not being able to physically or mentally take care of this on his own. I saw how things that were lovely collected, and he thought would be worth something, had decreased A LOT in value over the past 10-15 years. I experienced going through all the "crap" that should never have been kept in the first place. Between taking care of him and his health, and dealing with his house, I am still a bit traumatized by it all and am just not starting to recover a little bit. That experience with his stuff made me really want to deal with mine. I have found that so much of the "stuff" really isn't that important to me as I have it hanging over my head to deal with every day. I also want to be the one to go through stuff and make the decision on what happens to it (I don't want someone else to have that much control over this down the road). And...I do not want my boys to have to deal with this later. I know they will have to do some things, but I don't want them to go through what I just went through. I also want to get my stuff done because my in-laws are 93 in September and both in their house of 50+ years. The thought of doing this all over again makes me want to cry. All that being said, I am ready to tackle my stuff! I seem to make some progress and then get stuck. For example, I just participated in my LAST multiples group yard sale (they have them twice a year). I am done with that as they are not longer worth my time to tag, set-up, take down, and work the sale. But...I got it down to a stack of clothes and some toys to sell on FB (nice stuff - jeans/pants worn once for Christmas pictures type of things). I had a stack of DVDs, LeapFrog Leapster games, puzzles, that I took to a used bookstore. I only got back $11 in cash and $6 in trade-in and they gave me back most of my stuff. So...here is my dilemma. I asked what they would do with the stuff they didn't take if I left it with them. They said it would all go in the trash :-(. I'm sure this is the case at other places too - Good Will, Salvation Army, local thrift stores. I feel so bad just trashing stuff, but it was not worth that $17 to box it up, load my car, take it into the place, come back an hour later to see what they took, and have to bring it back home. What do ya'll do with this stuff? Just drop it at Salvation Army or something and let them deal with it? I don't care that I don't get any money for it. I just feel bad if maybe someone could use it or maybe find a treasure when they are shopping. Also, I have this "little" stuff from my boys early years. Plastic rings from cupcakes, little tidbits from here and there, plastic snakes, reusable curly straws that were never used, etc. I probably should just trash them as I go, but I keep thinking maybe if I just accumulate a bag of this stuff, maybe a teacher or someone could use it. The problem is, this stuff is tucked away in various boxes, ect. around my house and it will take me awhile to go through an accumulate enough to do anything with (if anyone would even want it). I just called a local thrift shop that is popular here to see what they will take. They said NO books. among other things! She said people won't take the books for free. Is this because of Kindles, etc. taking over? I have been good about getting rid of books as my boys read them because most of the time they are read once and done. But...I have some recent ones that not even homeschoolers will buy at our local curriculum sale. So...that is my dilemma and I feel like I am never going to get done if I worry about all this little stuff. I am being very, very careful what I bring into my house now, but I need to get rid of the stuff I accumulated before. Do I just box everything up I'm unsure of and take it to the Salvation Army for them to go through and toss or keep?!?! Or just start tossing myself? Sorry this got long! It was VERY eye opening going through my dad's house. After having to deal with it ALL, I really just want to purge so I can enjoy my house and not having this hanging over my head anymore. I'm not getting any younger !!! ETA: This was noted on the local thrift shop's website (the one that I called) and I guess where some of my trouble is coming from, "Items that are unsellable end up in the trash and too frequent trash pickups takes away money for the food pantry. If you wouldn't buy it, help us help others by throwing it away in your home trash pickup." Edited August 19, 2019 by mlktwins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Books: library used book sale. I benefited from it over the homeschool years, now those books can help others. Stuff with enough emotional value that you want it to find a "good home": we have a local FB gifting group. Everything posted has to be free. Most stuff posted finds someone who wants it. I usually arrange to deliver the stuff to them when I'm driving around town anyway. This does take more time than a trip to Goodwill but it can be a good way to re-home stuff. We do Goodwill trips several times a year. Once I dropped the idea that I needed to sell stuff--get some money for it--it was easier to get it out the door. We also take the slow and steady approach--more clean-out projects each summer. Doesn't all have to happen now. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 (edited) I cleaned out a closet this weekend to make room to put my camping cot because I didn't want it out in the garage... I found room for a box of bags I'm not ready to get rid of and have another bag of things to get rid of (Linen for a fundraiser our Trail Life group might be doing and some bags I am going to put on Buy Nothing or send to Goodwill) A few to the trash directly. (And some AG stuff I want to try to sell but realistically probably will end up on Buy Nothing) At this point I want stuff OUT of the house. I don't care if the next person decides to trash it. Don't give it back. There are still plenty of things I can't get rid of so I just declutter where I can as I can. Edited August 19, 2019 by vonfirmath 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 I'm pretty ruthless when it comes to trashing stuff. All those little things you mention, the cupcake rings, straws, etc. would be trashed. Furniture that is in ok condition but might need new paint, reupholstered, reenforced etc, gets put on the curb and posted for free on craigslist. Books go to either the library or Goodwill. Everything else that is working, has all the pieces, and in good condition goes to Goodwill or on the curb for free pick up. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 If your financial situation is comfortable enough that you aren't struggling to buy groceries, I would just donate stuff. Anything worth >$150 (at garage sale prices) is worth the effort to list and sell. Let go of the notion that your stuff is worth $. Seriously. The goal for you here is to get rid of your excess stuff. So get rid of it. You don't need to get rid of it AND derive maximum financial return on a sunk cost on it, right? All of the cheap plastic-y things that aren't going to resell (plastic cupcake rings, straws, etc...) = trash. Our Salvation Army will do a pickup of items. When we relocated two moves ago and still had all kinds of usable stuff that wouldn't fit into our house, we scheduled a pickup, and they took away a ton of really lovely stuff. It was great because I didn't have to haul it. We are currently getting rid of our early reader books. As my youngest reads them, they go into a paper bag, and when we go to the park, we empty the bag into the Little Free Library there. We visit at least weekly, and every book is gone every time. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 FWIW, one of the most valuable things that comes from the process of having to actively manage your stuff is the realization that you want no more crap coming into your home. We have drastically reduced what we bring in, and what we must we cope with. As we were cleaning out the girls' closets last week, everything went immediately into a bag for donation. That bag was dropped off the next time I left the house. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Just now, happysmileylady said: I suspect they put this there because people really do use thrift stores as dumping grounds. They donate things like badly stained and ripped clothing, journals with most of the pages torn out, coffee makers that are clearly broken, stuffed animals covered in gunk, etc etc. I think if you are being genuine about thinking which things are really sellable, then drop it off there without a worry. Really... People really "Donate" that?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Does your area have a Facebook page for selling/giving away stuff? When we were remodeling we posted some stuff to give away- lights we replaced, a door, etc. The couple who came told us they sell at a flea market and would take anything we couldn’t use. We’ve since had them come get more things that fit your category- stuff nobody else seems to want- and they are thrilled. Maybe you can find someone like that- though I think flea markets are probably hot in some areas and nonexistent in others. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted August 19, 2019 Author Share Posted August 19, 2019 6 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: If your financial situation is comfortable enough that you aren't struggling to buy groceries, I would just donate stuff. Anything worth >$150 (at garage sale prices) is worth the effort to list and sell. Let go of the notion that your stuff is worth $. Seriously. The goal for you here is to get rid of your excess stuff. So get rid of it. You don't need to get rid of it AND derive maximum financial return on a sunk cost on it, right? All of the cheap plastic-y things that aren't going to resell (plastic cupcake rings, straws, etc...) = trash. We are fortunate that I don't need to sell the stuff for groceries. It really isn't about the money anymore, although I am struggling a little bit with donating like new stuff that I paid a bit for -- LOL. I am working on that! And...I am being VERY careful now what I buy and bring in my house. My problem is mostly with trying to find the best place for it. The guilt I feel just trashing it and wishing I hadn't bought it (or brought it home if free) in the first place -- LOL. Taking pics and posting takes time, looking to see if someone responds, getting it to the person (usually porch pick-up). This is whether free or not. I wish I had all this time and energy to do that, but realistically, I have twins starting 9th grade, swim 6 days a week, and they volunteer, etc. I have my dad to worry about as he no longer drives. I also need to start taking care of me so hopefully I am here to get the boys grown! I do have sentimental stuff that is only worth something to me. I am putting that stuff together to hopefully work through, when I can enjoy it a bit more, after all the crap is gone! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Would it help to frame the somewhat/possibly valuable stuff (like the once-worn items) differently? Instead of "I should get something monetary for this, or it should help someone, at least," maybe think of it as, "This item has helped me learn lessons and see my life and future differently. I don't need anything else from it. I can let it go." Practically speaking, about decent clothing: A lot of church clothing drives these days are not about the concept of someone wearing your particular castoff garment. The way it works, instead, is that churches will collect clean, decent clothing in white kitchen trash bags. These are taken to Goodwill, where they are traded for $5 vouchers to give to "the poor." It's one $5 voucher per full bag. This way, the people in need can actually go into a Goodwill and choose what appeals to them, personally, instead of wearing clothing that they hate just because they got it for free. It is also a commentary on the unusable glut caused by the disposable fashion industry, but AGAIN, we are learning. You are learning. Bale up the clothing that nobody in your home needs, and donate it somewhere, anywhere, without categorizing or marketing. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 35 minutes ago, mlktwins said: My problem is mostly with trying to find the best place for it. The guilt I feel just trashing it and wishing I hadn't bought it (or brought it home if free) in the first place -- LOL. Taking pics and posting takes time, looking to see if someone responds, getting it to the person (usually porch pick-up). This is whether free or not. I wish I had all this time and energy to do that, but realistically, I have twins starting 9th grade, swim 6 days a week, and they volunteer, etc. I have my dad to worry about as he no longer drives. I also need to start taking care of me so hopefully I am here to get the boys grown! We often just put things curbside with a "free" sign on it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 We've gotten rid of probably 5/6 of our possessions in the last 6 months. We donated a ton of stuff to our church's rummage sale, rented two GIANT dumpsters in our yard, and donated boxes and boxes of stuff to Goodwill. We also put stuff out in front of our house and it has been taken within a few hours. I am over clutter. I really am. So done with it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 1 hour ago, vonfirmath said: Really... People really "Donate" that?! Gosh, yes. I used to work in a thrift store. The things people donated bordered on disgusting. For a lot, we were last chance dumping ground before they moved. I have a box I keep in my closet for thrift store items. Anything that is in re-sellable condition goes there. My kid's halloween costume from 2 years ago is a yes, his one from last year is a no. The older one has all the parts, the bag, and is in great shape. Last year's has pilling and pulled threads and is good only for around the house play. If it's not in good enough condition to donate it gets tossed. I live on a quiet road so putting things out for free doesn't work here. And I started really putting my foot down on what comes in the house. No party favors, no kids meal toys. Well, almost none. If you tell me Wendy's has the little building toys that look like rectangles, circles, and have cardboard shapes and heads, I may have to make a trip. We've been collecting those for 5 years or so because they're a great car toy. Just manage it all in bites. Do a corner of a room, then stop. When you fill a bag, throw it in the car for the thrift store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 3 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said: the Little Free Library This was also my thought for getting gently used books out of the house. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 I just saw a local jail asking for book donations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Radically donate and ruthlessly throw away stuff that you are done with. Do what Marie Kondo does if you have trouble parting with it: Thank it. Then, put it in the pile to go out the door. I try to imagine that I am dead and my kids are going through my stuff. What would they want to box up and move into their homes and keep forever? (I'm talking about old things I will never use and means little to me or them, even though it was once important enough to purchase.) If you forgot you had it, and if you haven't used it in a very long time, let it go. I try to take a couple of boxes to Goodwill or our big donation centers every month. Recently we put some bigger stuff on the sidewalk with a Free sign, and it disappeared in a few hours. Most big donation centers do enough volume to be able to do dump runs and still make a profit. They have people to sort through it, but make sure you give them decent stuff. Throw away the rest. Shred old documents. Good luck. My story is very similar to yours. I dealt with Dad's stuff, and now I'm inspired to clean out my home. Step by step... We can do this! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Buy one more thing. Dana K White's book, Decluttering at the Speed of Life. I highly recommend the Audible version, because you can declutter while you are listening to it. She'll help you get over the guilt or the need to find a good home and just get rid of stuff without the guilt. And she'll free you of the need to keep plastic snakes. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I'm pretty sure Goodwill sells junk clothes etc for rags but probably better to have it sorted out and marked. There are also places to drop off junk clothes etc for recycling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted August 20, 2019 Author Share Posted August 20, 2019 39 minutes ago, Katy said: Buy one more thing. Dana K White's book, Decluttering at the Speed of Life. I highly recommend the Audible version, because you can declutter while you are listening to it. She'll help you get over the guilt or the need to find a good home and just get rid of stuff without the guilt. And she'll free you of the need to keep plastic snakes. My library has this on ebook. I am going to listen to it. Thank you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I don't have the time or patience to sell stuff unless the price is signficant AND we need the money. Right now, we don't need the money. So I would rather give away a nice bed frame or box of art supplies and make someone happy than deal with selling it. About a year and a half ago, things were tight money wise for us and I helped a friend move. She had a bunch of stuff she wanted to sell and so we agreed I would deal with selling it and then we'd split the money 50-50. That was the last time I was selling a lot online and OMG, I EARNED that 50% cut with all the back and forth emails and no-shows and people who tried to harass me into lowball offers. One guy didn't like that I said no to his lowball offer on an IKEA desk and hutch and so...he stalked me on social media and tried to contact my husband and accuse me of having an affair (!?!) Not worth the hassle to sell something. I am ALL about my local Buy Nothing group these days. This weekend I gave away kids soccer gear, a rainsuit, a bedframe, a camp stove, a rug, a TV stand and a bunch of clothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I’ve had some luck listing free stuff on nextdoor and Facebook marketplace, but selling is spotty. We do a dump run with anything we can’t give away. Not my favorite but it also makes me choosy about what we bring into the house Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Sometimes senior homes will accept jigsaw puzzles (containing all the pieces) &/or large-print novels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I made (near) peace with throwing things in the trash. The recycling bin when possible. In my area, it’s just really hard to unload random old bits and pieces. My sister lives in a more populated area where things fly right off FB Marketplace. That’s just not the case for me unless it’s something of real value. I try to cope with the trash guilt by being more aware and responsible for things I bring into the house moving forward so I’m less likely to continue making trash heaps. Less random stuff in, taking better care of things, not letting them sit around for five years before trying to rehome them.... The guilt about trash was keeping me from successfully decluttering and from doing the above. I needed to get over it in order to move forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 (edited) Remember, an item only has monetary value if someone is willing to pay money for it. If no one is willing to pay money for it, it doesn't have any monetary value. Even if it's useful. Even if it cost money to make. Even if someone spent money to buy it in the past. There are different kinds of value, don't confuse them: monetary value, sentimental value, utility value, etc. Not all of those values translate into money. Not all of those values is transferable. My mother-in-law struggles with this concept. She cannot seem to grasp that the pipe her great grand uncle owned has no sentimental value for anyone but her. No one wants it. Both generations of her descendants say so every time she asks, but she's still hanging onto it in case any future generations want it. They didn't know him. They don't have feelings associated with him tied to it. It's some stranger's pipe. None of them needs or wanst a pipe, and if they did, they may not want that particular pipe. Edited August 20, 2019 by Homeschool Mom in AZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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