gardenmom5 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) I started dudeling with a tutor in dec. I honestly don't know what else to do if this doens't help. (he'd be happy if he could check out and do nothing but play computer games all day. he refused to talk to the counselor - and it was a waste of time.) I know he gets to a point where he thinks he can just dig in his heels and refuse to move. I have told him this will not end, and I will pay for this as long as it takes and *I* think it's working. (we have our first meeting with the tutoring center for them to share how they think he's doing - coincidentally - today) so - I said 'get ready to go' (I heard him laughing not five minutes beforehand). . .he went to bed. when I found him, he refused to acknowledge me. I ripped off his covers and turned on the light and let him know if he didn't get moving he would be signed out of his computer until monday after tutoring (his next session). and yeah, it made him angry, but I'm fed up with it. this kid has an uncanny ability to make me feel like a complete failure without even trying. doesn't matter I've successfully raised four kids. . . . some of whom had their own challenges . . . I'm hoping this is just his contest of wills stage . . . .I flat out told him he was having a tantrum, and that's why I wasn't sympathetic. eta: we've had these contest of wills before - and I can pick him up and he's been cooperative, even if it took him a bit to get there. Edited January 4, 2019 by gardenmom5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (((((Gardenmom))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (((((Hugs))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) Good job. You will outlast him! Sometimes that's truly what it comes down to. ETA: Adding a hug of course Edited January 4, 2019 by Liz CA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (((((hugs)))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (((gardenmom5))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Hugs. I found a writing tutor that DS14 is not afraid to seek help from and get feedback for his work. Slow and steady for DS14 but it is better than his blank sheets from writing phobia. DS14 isn't into screens but was into “junk food” like potato chips and skittles last year. He had a small pack of skittles daily during the two weeks of AP exams. Now he rarely ask for junk food. I had a coca-cola, coffee craving at around that age so I was sympathetic. DS13 is my screen kid and getting him the Samsung watch last month so that he can compete on step counts with DS14 was worth the money. DS14 likes to walk so DS13 has to do more walking to keep up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Hugs... Sometimes kids stink. Sometimes it's fun to fantasize about military school. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Hugs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (Hug) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Sending you many hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 (((hugs))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 they found a private room for him, and he calmed down and started working with the tutor.. he was in a really good mood when I picked him up. (this is what I thought would happen - it's still hard to be the 'bad guy'.) the one who is currently most effective with him (without being stressed by him when he's having a hard time) - is a med student who wants to do developmental pediatrics, working with spectrum kids. we now have an "incentive" plan for him, which includes bringing his school laptop (which he's refused to do this week). good work at least 3/4 of the days he's there ('cause right now, they're not expecting him to be perfect), - he can have a grinder or teriyaki (two of his favorite foods, and doesn't get nearly as much as he'd like). and if he does 4/4 - he can throw in a mint oreo blizzard, or his favorite soda. but I think the piece de la resistance . . . is if he successfully completes this course (I'm not ruling out he will need more tutoring at that point. I'm very grateful we have the resources). - I will take him to see grandbaby (it's a four hour flight). He has repeatedly asked to go see him - so this should be incentive. I expect it would be in June. I don't think he'll be ready by april break, which is fine, I don't want to buy tickets at the last minute. and I will be more conscientious to make sure he get's protein before we go - not a peanut butter sandwich as we rush out the door. for him - it's a big deal. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Hugs. I hope the new tutor meshes well! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Sending you many big ((hugs)) gardenmom. It's a rough week here, too. Bah! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Sending you many hugs. Stick with it, momma, you're doing a good job. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Ita hard but you can do it. Hugs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Hugs, hugs, hugs! Hang in there... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 ((hugs)) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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