"How to Homeschool" spam---or how do you define "veteran"??

[8filltheheart]

In the past few hrs I have received 2 emails from this group. I have absolutely no idea where they got my email address from, but this one cracked me up bc it goes back to one of @texasmom33's posts.  Gotta love it when someone whose oldest child is 11 sends out an email proclaiming "veteran" status and wants to be my village.

Quote

My name is Jessica and I'm a homeschool mom of 4 (ages 5, 7, 9 & 11). A few homeschooling moms and I started this site because we found it nearly impossible to find good content and helpful information about homeschooling (hello, link farms!). We thought it was hard enough making the decision to homeschool, nevermind trying to figure out everything we needed to do to get started. Now that we are all veteran homeschoolers ourselves, we want to help other moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles and anyone else who is interested in homeschooling the kids in their lives. It truly takes a village and we hope that you find the content we write about to be helpful and refreshing. If there is every anything we can do for you, please don't hesitate to reach out. We are in this together.

Love, your friendly fellow homeschool moms

Is anyone else randomly getting these? I would like to know where they are originating from.

Edited November 15, 2018 by 8FillTheHeart

[8filltheheart]

7 minutes ago, texasmom33 said:

Ha! Off to check my spam folder! 

I don't subscribe to anything homeschool oriented.  I cannot fathom how they got my email address.  

3 minutes ago, texasmom33 said:

I must not have made the veteran cut. ? My only homeschool spam so far today was Pam Barnhill.  

Yes.  I mean everyone knows that with a 16 yr old you have far less parenting experience than someone with an 11 yr old. ?

Want my place in their village?????

Edited November 14, 2018 by 8FillTheHeart

[8filltheheart]

9 minutes ago, texasmom33 said:

I wonder if they can pull it from your blog somehow? Like is it under a homeschool category and maybe WP sold you out? 

I get so much spam everyday- it's growing exponentially by the week it seems. I hate my inbox lately. 

It can't be my blog b/c it is under my business email address.  This is spamming my personal email address that is not really associated with much of anything homeschool related. 

Edited November 14, 2018 by 8FillTheHeart

[8filltheheart]

Obviously they aren't veteran enough to realize that the WTM forums offer these answers with personal feedback, no spam, and without trying to profiteer through their blogging advertisements.

Quote

A few homeschooling moms and I started this site because we found it nearly impossible to find good content and helpful information about homeschooling (hello, link farms!). We thought it was hard enough making the decision to homeschool, nevermind trying to figure out everything we needed to do to get started.

 

Edited November 14, 2018 by 8FillTheHeart

[Jean in Newcastle]

In defense of Jessica, she is a veteran of homeschooling primary school. 

[73349]

From a (b&m) school-teaching POV, you're a veteran after ~4 years teaching approximately the same level/subject. By then, nearly half the cohort (more in worse schools) has left.

But it's a mystery to me how Jessica has found 8's email address but has never stumbled across these boards.

[8filltheheart]

6 minutes ago, whitehawk said:

From a (b&m) school-teaching POV, you're a veteran after ~4 years teaching approximately the same level/subject.

So, then technically speaking you are not a veteran homeschooler until you graduate 4 kids, right?????

[GailV]

Now I'm hurt that I didn't get one.  It's like they want me to fail!

Also, I rarely offer advice to the under-11 set because that all seems so very long ago; I can sort of see the point of having someone closer to working with that age group be the one to tell what life in the trenches is like.  Except who knows if their theories are correct since they haven't slogged all the way through.

 

5 minutes ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

So, then technically speaking you are not a veteran homeschooler until you graduate 4 kids, right?????

I'm considering using "Not a veteran homeschooler" as my new signature.  Oh wait -- if we did the 4 year history cycle multiple times with 2 kids, can we count that?

[happypamama]

I’d consider myself a veteran homeschooler for elementary and almost for middle, and by veteran I mean “I have a better idea, after four first graders and two seventh graders, how much I really don’t know because all of my first graders have been different.”

 

 

[forty-two]

With a 7th, 4th, and 1st grader, I feel like I'm solidly past newbie now, but nowhere near veteran. 

IDK, what's the next level beyond newbie?  Disillusioned, maybe - when the reality of my actual children had well and truly overthrown my lovely hs air castles ;).  But I'm past that, too.  So what's next?  Optimistic realism?  Or realistic optimism?  Where you've settled into teaching the kids you have, but haven't had any major crises or burnouts past the initial newbie disillusionment.

[MerryAtHope]

You should reply to her with your WTM signature. Or bombard her with questions about high school!

[sweet2ndchance]

I find it interesting that she uses the "it takes a village to raise a child..." angle. When I started homeschooling, almost 10 years before her oldest was born, one of the biggest homeschooling mantras I heard was "I've seen the village and I don't want them raising my child." 

 

[Doodlebug]

Just the run-of-the-mill “singles waiting and ready to mingle” messages in my spam folder.  

To get a “veteran homeschoolers waiting and ready to mingle” message?!?!?!  

I can dream.  

?

[Garga]

To be fair, I think they mean “veteran” in comparison to the preschool set; in comparison to people whose kids are just becoming school aged and those parents are thinking, “Hmm....I wonder how homeschooling works?”  

But even then, I can’t imagine calling myself a veteran.  In a few years, they’ll realize they were a tad...premature in calling themselves veterans. 

However, I like what a PP said: I would have trouble telling a preschool or kindy mom how to get started homeschooling.  It seems like a lifetime ago since then, and I would wonder if there was something new and amazing out there that I didn’t know about.  

Edited November 15, 2018 by Garga

[EKS]

In my view a seasoned homeschooler has been at it for 5-10 years but a veteran homeschooler has done all of K-12 and has survived the college application (or other launching) process.  Seriously, the college application thing was the hardest thing I ever did as a homeschooler, and that includes learning math through calculus!

[cintinative]

3 hours ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

Want my place in their village?????

 

I originally read this as "Want a place in my village?" and I was thinking "Why yes, I do! Sign me up!"  Bummer.

Edited November 15, 2018 by cintinative
typo

[8filltheheart]

1 hour ago, sweet2ndchance said:

I find it interesting that she uses the "it takes a village to raise a child..." angle. When I started homeschooling, almost 10 years before her oldest was born, one of the biggest homeschooling mantras I heard was "I've seen the village and I don't want them raising my child." 

 

I told my Dh about this thread. He admonished me bc he said it wasn't being positive. I do agree with him but I told him it wasn't as if I went to their blog. They invited themselves into my inbox and told me it took a village. He burst out laughing at that point and said, "Well, that is totally offensive. Of all the things that is the one that would bother me." :)

[freesia]

The village thing bothered me bc I have been soundly chastised by a homeschool group leader twice and admonished that "it takes a village."  My fault? Not being willing to do what she wants and calling her on rude behavior.  I actually wanted to laugh at her bc that phrase was flying around when I was teaching in the 90s, when, I believe, she could have been one of my first grade students.  I felt like saying, "Honey, let me tell you about the village. . . ."  So, now that does feel a bit like a manipulative technique to me--it takes a village and you had better be part of my village or you aren't "doing it right."

Anyway, no opinion on the veteran part of your question really.

[freesia]

And to add to the above, I guess it wouldn't really bother me to have someone whose oldest was 11 call themselves a veteran.  They don't know what's yet to come.

But it sure does bother me when someone whose oldest is 6 tells a group of parents who've homeschooled through 12th grade that the way that they have run the highly successful Christmas party is all wrong and too "school-like" and not in the spirit of homeschooling. Uh huh

[8filltheheart]

20 minutes ago, freesia said:

And to add to the above, I guess it wouldn't really bother me to have someone whose oldest was 11 call themselves a veteran.  They don't know what's yet to come.

But it sure does bother me when someone whose oldest is 6 tells a group of parents who've homeschooled through 12th grade that the way that they have run the highly successful Christmas party is all wrong and too "school-like" and not in the spirit of homeschooling. Uh huh

Or state that they found it next to impossible to find good information on homeschooling (sometime after 2007). I think poor parents today are in information overload and that that overload is overwhelming.

[happypamama]

3 hours ago, Garga said:

To be fair, I think they mean “veteran” in comparison to the preschool set; in comparison to people whose kids are just becoming school aged and those parents are thinking, “Hmm....I wonder how homeschooling works?”  

But even then, I can’t imagine calling myself a veteran.  In a few years, they’ll realize they were a tad...premature in calling themselves veterans. 

However, I like what a PP said: I would have trouble telling a preschool or kindy mom how to get started homeschooling.  It seems like a lifetime ago since then, and I would wonder if there was something new and amazing out there that I didn’t know about.  

There is!  Or at least, I keep finding new things to use with my little boys. Maybe it’s because *I* get bored. Or maybe it’s because I found this board. Or maybe there really IS just plain more out there now that I’m on my fifth kindergartener. I probably wouldn’t have a clue what was new if my little ones weren’t different learners from my older ones, but there seem to be SO many more resources than even a decade ago.

 

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

13 hours ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

So, then technically speaking you are not a veteran homeschooler until you graduate 4 kids, right?????

 

What if I've taught the same concept to the same kid at least 4 times???  I'm a total veteran of talking kids into capitalizing the first letters of sentences...  

 

12 hours ago, forty-two said:

With a 7th, 4th, and 1st grader, I feel like I'm solidly past newbie now, but nowhere near veteran. 

IDK, what's the next level beyond newbie?  Disillusioned, maybe - when the reality of my actual children had well and truly overthrown my lovely hs air castles ;).  But I'm past that, too.  So what's next?  Optimistic realism?  Or realistic optimism?  Where you've settled into teaching the kids you have, but haven't had any major crises or burnouts past the initial newbie disillusionment.

11 hours ago, EKS said:

In my view a seasoned homeschooler has been at it for 5-10 years but a veteran homeschooler has done all of K-12 and has survived the college application (or other launching) process.  Seriously, the college application thing was the hardest thing I ever did as a homeschooler, and that includes learning math through calculus!

 

I do like "seasoned."  My oldest is in his 8th year of legally-required schooling, which certainly puts me past newbie.   But I agree that "veteran" indicates someone who has graduated at least one child, or even someone who is approaching the empty nest phase.  Obviously, with a larger family, you can get to veteran while you still have kids in the house.  ?  

 

11 hours ago, sweet2ndchance said:

I find it interesting that she uses the "it takes a village to raise a child..." angle. When I started homeschooling, almost 10 years before her oldest was born, one of the biggest homeschooling mantras I heard was "I've seen the village and I don't want them raising my child." 

 

 

Yes.  So much this.  At a dinner party two weekends ago, a friend's mom asked, "Aren't you afraid your children are going to suddenly realize how different they are from normal children and be angry with you?"  I actually just started laughing.  Lady, I WANT my kids to be different.

 

Having said all that, I think there are some really great benefits to chatting with HSers of varied experience levels:

- The veterans for "Is this normal?" and "Now what do I do?"

- The peers, to whine, cry, and hang out in the trenches together

- The noobs, because of the enthusiasm and idealism which really help me reconnect with my original reasons for making this choice, and help pull me out of the doldrums of the daily grind.

 

 

[LMD]

12 hours ago, EKS said:

In my view a seasoned homeschooler has been at it for 5-10 years but a veteran homeschooler has done all of K-12 and has survived the college application (or other launching) process.  Seriously, the college application thing was the hardest thing I ever did as a homeschooler, and that includes learning math through calculus!

 

I like that. Seasoned. With all those salty salty tears (mine and my kids')

[Soror]

1 hour ago, LMD said:

 

I like that. Seasoned. With all those salty salty tears (mine and my kids')

I like seasoned as well.

I don't know when I'll feel like a veteran. I think this is my 10th year?! As posted above the longer you are at it the more you realize you don't know and I'm much less likely to give advice these days.

But this is not a homeschool specific phenomenon, we are in the age of self-appointed experts looking for various ways to profit off of everyone else. 

Edited November 15, 2018 by soror

[Penelope]

That kind of stuff doesn’t bother me anymore. I just know where to look for advice and help and where not to. This is just someone looking to make extra money while staying at home, and I don’t begrudge anyone that, though I certainly would not call her a veteran.  The spamming is annoying though. 

I feel like people who have homeschooled many years and are finished are better at the big picture advice, but sometimes those that are “seasoned” and still in the trenches and trying out new things are great at helping each other with the detail stuff: curriculum reviews, schedules, all the nitty gritty. The host of this site was not a veteran for many of the years she was writing books and giving talks, but she helped many of us (me!) with her plans and advice. And the big picture laid out in TWTM was one of the things that convinced me I wanted to and could homeschool. 

[Hobbes]

I definitely would not consider that person a veteran. A veteran has reached the end stages, in my opinion. 

I'm quite indebted to many veterans for their homeschooling advice (I'm the daughter of a veteran).  That said, the advice from "seasoned" homeschoolers sometimes is more helpful. Veterans tend to say, "Relax, enjoy, etc," but not always remember how they handled the nitty gritty, which doesn't ways help with decision making. Seasoned people who are still in the game sometimes have helpful specifics to offer. If I can then compare the two (Does this specific advice fit with the overall perspective I've gotten from he veterans?), that's often when I am helped the most. 

Overall, I feel the homeschool network online is flooded with people who are newly-ish in the thick of things and proclaiming their expertise. This generally annoys me because I want more seasoned advice.

[8filltheheart]

I have been thinking about the entire use of the word veteran.  It is not a word I opt to use to describe myself.   I guess that relates to the core of my homeschooling philosophy.  I am good at teaching our kids bc our homeschool is not just "school."  It is our way of life.  It is how our family functions.  My kids are born into this rhythm and it flows through everything we do.   I can share what we do, but in no way do I think that what we do is directly translatable to any other family bc it isn't.  Every family has to find their own rhythm, their own way of functioning, their own way of meeting their kids' unique strengths and weaknesses.....inside their home, not out in the village.

So, I am a veteran of what?  Making our family's daily life offer our kids the best possible educational opportunities by encouraging their pursuit of their interests and exposure to what I want them to master.  

There are plenty of homeschooling families out there who have been homeschooling successfully for yrs that if I attempted to replicate their homeschools in our home, the outcome would be utter and complete failure. Homeschooling outcomes cannot be translated across families simply b/c of using curriculum x,y, or z.

I guess it is the nature of homeschooling where (my prejudice here) from my perspective every homeschool should be a reflection of the uniqueness of the family engaging in the endeavor.  Fundamentally, that there should be as many different "homeschools" as their are homeschooling families.  We can know lists of resources.  We can have experience with coping with kids with certain issues, etc, but at some pt, we are nothing more than a sounding board b/c the kids in that home are unique individuals with unique teachers with unique living circumstances that only that homeschool teacher can figure out how to deal with on their own.

My ds's family is homeschooling.  I have taught my grandkids.  I know that they have their own unique struggles and ways of learning things that are very different from anything I ever encountered teaching my own 8.  The only advantage I have over my dil is experience of seeing the really big picture and being able to pull different experiences out of my toolbox to see if this or that might encourage greater learning.  If I had not sat with my grandkids every single day for weeks at a time, I would not have the insight into how they are processing and learning.  That has only come from being intimately engaged day in and day out with them while they were learning.  It is the "knowing how they are engaging" that enables me to offer her helpful suggestions, not simply b/c I have been teaching a long time.  

That is the strength of the homeschooling parent, knowing how our kids learn.  It cannot just be packaged in "I have been doing this for x amt of time and therefore know y."  The strength comes from being present with your child and being able to respond to how they individually learn and process things.  It takes a lot more than offering a list of resources and having taught multiple kids b/c every child is different. 

[freesia]

It is interesting to contemplate that the more veteran among us are better for the overall perspective.  I can see that.  Part of it, I think, is that fact that by that time we have been through several children and know that there are few absolutes and none that fit every circumstance.  I taught first and second grade for 10 years and taught over 100 kids to read, then I taught each of my children to read in very different ways,using very different curriculum.  I know that as long as you  are doing something and responding to what your child knows/doesn't know that it will be fine.  I loved using Sonlight with my oldest, but switched to Tapestry bc it fit the family/our community better.  I then kind of use Sonlight/TOG/my own selections for the Grammar years for my next 3.  None of my children ever used exactly the same things for the same period.  So, what do I tell a family who is looking for curriculum?  Many want to know "what is the best."  There isn't an answer to that question.  In fact, I tried to use "the best" for my oldest for math. We gave that up around Alg 2 and switched to Teaching Textbooks and he did just fine.  I kind of reget the years of "the best."  I actually feel my younger children are getting a better math education with a different curriculum.  I think a lot of veteran home educators have seen this type of thing so many time that it makes us less interested and less confident about the specifics.

However, the principals--teach the child on the couch, prioritize the relationship, make time for fun, make sure that you don't cut out what you enjoy, just keep going--those things we've seen hold up year after year after year.

So, yeah, peers in the trenches plus a dose of overall perspective is good.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don’t see what is wrong with someone wanting to help other homeschoolers. Even if she is also trying to make money off of it (though I couldn’t tell from the OP if the advice is free or for a fee).   So she used the term “veteran “ when she should have said “seasoned”. Yes, she might very well homeschool differently from me- a lot of newer homeschoolers do. (Actually a lot of older homeschoolers do too).   I guess that I will be called out for not going along with all this but it just seems mean to be ridiculing people when we really should be supporting each other. That’s what the young woman meant with “it takes a village “ - not some political or even sociological message. 

[Hobbes]

53 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I don’t see what is wrong with someone wanting to help other homeschoolers. Even if she is also trying to make money off of it (though I couldn’t tell from the OP if the advice is free or for a fee).   So she used the term “veteran “ when she should have said “seasoned”. Yes, she might very well homeschool differently from me- a lot of newer homeschoolers do. (Actually a lot of older homeschoolers do too).   I guess that I will be called out for not going along with all this but it just seems mean to be ridiculing people when we really should be supporting each other. That’s what the young woman meant with “it takes a village “ - not some political or even sociological message. 

Maybe she is just trying to be nice and that is nice. Or maybe she's starting a business. I personally dislike business spam of all kinds. 

My own internal response to an email like that would probably just be born out of irritation with the seemingly-constant monetizing of homeschool advice by people who are just getting going themselves (and who use words like "veteran" to add weight to their product, whether it's really tried-and-true or not). I've felt like I've run into that a lot lately and so am maybe a bit sensitive to it... 

[knitgrl]

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I don’t see what is wrong with someone wanting to help other homeschoolers. Even if she is also trying to make money off of it (though I couldn’t tell from the OP if the advice is free or for a fee).   So she used the term “veteran “ when she should have said “seasoned”. Yes, she might very well homeschool differently from me- a lot of newer homeschoolers do. (Actually a lot of older homeschoolers do too).   I guess that I will be called out for not going along with all this but it just seems mean to be ridiculing people when we really should be supporting each other. That’s what the young woman meant with “it takes a village “ - not some political or even sociological message. 

There's nothing wrong with wanting to help other homeschoolers or make money off of it. That being said, there are A LOT of homeschool bloggers out there trying to make money off the whole thing and their message is 95% "Look at ME! BUY my stuff! Here's ME again!" Sending an unsolicited email to 8 as a "fellow veteran" when her oldest is 11 could certainly qualify as one definition of chutzpah, if she knew who she was sending it to.

[8filltheheart]

1 hour ago, Hobbes said:

Maybe she is just trying to be nice and that is nice. Or maybe she's starting a business. I personally dislike business spam of all kinds. 

My own internal response to an email like that would probably just be born out of irritation with the seemingly-constant monetizing of homeschool advice by people who are just getting going themselves (and who use words like "veteran" to add weight to their product, whether it's really tried-and-true or not). I've felt like I've run into that a lot lately and so am maybe a bit sensitive to it... 

This is exactly where I am.  I am soured on the commercialization of homeschooling.  I visited the "blog" when I was trying to figure out where the emails were coming from and how they got my email address.  "Link farm" with sponsors is an apt descriptor.  It definitely comes across as commercialized.

If they want people to find it via google search, great.  Don't spam me with marketing under the guise of friendly homeschool support.

[Ausmumof3]

I think all those build your bundle emails got me rolling my eyes about stuff like that.  Though I still scour the sale for what’s good.

that said I do agree with whoever said upthread that for specific situational advice those who are in the game a couple of years ahead seem to be more helpful than the long term homeschoolers who tend to be all relax and it will all work out.

[8filltheheart]

1 hour ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I think all those build your bundle emails got me rolling my eyes about stuff like that.  Though I still scour the sale for what’s good.

that said I do agree with whoever said upthread that for specific situational advice those who are in the game a couple of years ahead seem to be more helpful than the long term homeschoolers who tend to be all relax and it will all work out.

LOL!! Or they could still be in the thick of things ( my youngest is only 8) and the honest response is still relax and enjoy the process bc they don't need to learn everything now and gaps are real life.

[Ausmumof3]

1 hour ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

LOL!! Or they could still be in the thick of things ( my youngest is only ? and the honest response is still relax and enjoy the process bc they don't need to learn everything now and gaps are real life.

Well true!  Relax and it will all work out is always good advice for any stage I guess. Maybe there’s another category of veteran but still fighting the warnhomeschoolers versus the retired veteran homeschoolers...

most of the real life people I know have only got high schoolers so I guess that’s where I’m coming from.