At what age will you get your child a phone?

[EMS83]

What age?  On our dime, 16 for emergencies and updates while out

What kind of phone?  something basic

You pay or they pay?  I imagine we'll do something mean; limited minutes and they pay overages, and/or are prevented from going out (since that's the purpose of the phone).

Rules/restrictions?  Not sure yet...sort of depends on how trustworthy they generally are

 

Strong feelings about it one way or another?  Not really, just that I *know* phones can be used for ill, so I'm (probably hyper-) sensitive about that.

[MEmama]

Just out of curiosity, what's your plan?

 

What age?

What kind of phone?

Smartphone or dummy phone?

You pay or they pay?

Rules/restrictions?

 

Strong feelings about it one way or another?

For a couple years, DS used our home cell when he needed to take one with him. He didn't need it frequently until he started high school, and now it's just evolved into being his phone. We didn't have a "plan", but we did figure eventually it would make sense for him to have his own.

 

Smartphone

 

We pay

 

No restrictions

 

No strong feelings. He uses it to get in touch with us, for schoolwork (Latin app, texting classmates to coordinate projects, etc), and for entertainment on long bus rides to sports meets. It's been super convenient. And I loooove getting texts from him during the day (a rare treat).

 

I will add it's always been family policy/habit that electronics don't go upstairs. We've just never done it, so it's a non issue in our home.

[Megbo]

We got my stepson an iPhone when he was 10. At that point, he was spending every other weekend at his mom's house and she didn't have a landline. Giving him a phone made it easier for him to contact us while at his mom's house or traveling with her, and allowed his friends to reach him no matter where he was. Over the next year or two, he started staying home alone, getting dropped off at extracurriculars, and going more places without a parent, so we found him having a phone very convenient and reassuring. We pay for his phone, and didn't even really consider getting a "dumb phone" or a phone designed for children. He has a small amount of data, for "emergencies", but we expect him to use Wifi whenever possible. No real rules/restrictions. 

 

I thought our other boys would be older before getting phones, but we're considering buying one for Ds9. Several of his extracurriculars have flexible start/end times, he spends a lot of time with my FIL (who refuses to carry a cell phone), and will likely start skiing with friends (rather than always with a parent or instructor) this year. He will probably not have any data starting out. 

[happypamama]

I got a dumb phone that I pay for for my daughter when she was about 12. It has 100 minutes a month, which is perfect for an emergency phone or for me to contact her when she was waiting at her martial arts studio while I ran errands.

 

I only got a smartphone a year and a half ago myself, but since StraightTalk now has a $30 per month plan, if I ever upgrade my iPhone 5s, I’ll pass it along to DD and will pay for it. Unlike her current phone, it would not be allowed in her room after bedtime, and it’ll have the same screen time restrictions as our other electronics.

Edited November 8, 2017 by happypamama

[Bluegoat]

It's interesting how many are without landlines.  It isn't really worth it to go without here, you don't save any money.  There are still pay phones around too - the major phone company here was thinking about removing them all a few years ago, and there was a pretty huge blowback.  I think they may even have been prevented from doing so in a more formal way.

[SeaConquest]

My 8 year old has a smartphone. It is one of our old phones, and we have a TMobile family unlimited plan (that we pay for -- unlimited minutes, texts, data). We use it for safety, for entertainment, and for education (a lot of audiobooks). He is unusually mature for his age, and uses it like any teenager would. He texts and calls me, lets me know where he is, etc. He has had access to tablets and computers for several years, and has proven himself to be trustworthy, so we do not put any restrictions on its use. Again, I think he is likely an unusual case, but there it is.

 

ETA: We have not had a landline in over a decade, and my kid would have no clue how to use a pay phone if he ever stumbled across such a fossil. He could PayPal or Venmo money before he could figure out a payphone.

Edited November 9, 2017 by SeaConquest

[2squared]

My two oldest received smart phones at 12yo, and I assume the others will wait that long as well. The phones are on our family plan, and we share data. I have limitations on each person's individual data use, and we rarely need extra data since wifi is so prevalent.

 

My younger three have iPods with wifi access.

 

We don't have any restrictions on use other than "don't do dumb things" and some age restrictions for the younger kids. For instance, my 7yo has Snapchat, but he is only allowed to friend/snap our immediate family. My 9yo and 11yos love musical.ly, but they have private accounts. My younger three spend most of their online time interacting together. All five of them watch out for each other and let me know whenever a sib needs guidance.

 

We talk a lot about behaviors and social media risk. They share what they do online and ask for guidance a lot. I prefer to give them access now and guide them through as teens and teens.

 

I love group texting with my kids and snap chatting them. I don't love all the Minecraft talk, but that's only because I'm not into it. It bores me.

Edited November 9, 2017 by 2squared

[skimomma]

It's interesting how many are without landlines.  

 

 

We haven't had a landline in 15 years which is before dd (14) was born.  The first time she heard a "real telephone" ring in a restaurant at around age 8, she was startled.  Our current house does not even have phone lines connected to it.  Aside from airports, I cannot think of when I last saw a working pay phone.  

[Lady Florida.]

It's interesting how many are without landlines.  It isn't really worth it to go without here, you don't save any money.  There are still pay phones around too - the major phone company here was thinking about removing them all a few years ago, and there was a pretty huge blowback.  I think they may even have been prevented from doing so in a more formal way.

 

It's cheaper in our case because we're going to have cell phones anyway, so it doesn't make sense to pay for the cell phones and a landline. 

 

As for phone booths, I can't remember the last time I saw a pay phone. I haven't traveled outside of Florida much in the last few years but traveling around the state I haven't seen any.

[Alice]

Just out of curiosity, what's your plan?

 

What age?

What kind of phone?

Smartphone or dummy phone?

You pay or they pay?

Rules/restrictions?

 

Strong feelings about it one way or another?

 

 

We didn’t have a set plan. We had a “kids phone†for a few years that was an old smart phone. It was for whoever needed it when getting dropped off somewhere. In reality only the oldest used it. This summer, it died and we decided to get dh a new phone. His old phone then became the phone for oldest. Since he (oldest son) was going into high school and the reality was he was the one who needed it we decided to call it his rather than the kids’ phone. 

 

It’s a smart phone, specifically a iPhone. 

 

We pay but we use Tracfone as a service and it’s relatively cheap. We told him that above a certain amount of usage (text or data)  he would have to pay for it. At this point he doesn’t use it much so it isn’t an issue. 

 

I have Parental Restrictions on it so he can’t download apps without permission. The restrictions also means that he can’t erase history on the phone. He knows we will check it sporadically to make sure there isn’t in appropriate stuff on it. We don’t have other specific restrictions about use because he doesn’t really use it much. He takes it when he’s going somewhere where he is being dropped off and primarily uses it to call or text us for a ride. Sometimes when he’s waiting for us he’ll watch Studio C or email or play games. But at home he uses the computer (in the main living room) instead of the phone. We don’t allow it in the bedroom, but he also doesn’t try and use it there anyway. 

 

We wanted him to have it so that he could start learning how to manage a phone when he is younger rather than older. I think a lot of adults can have the tendency to get addicted to phones (me included at times) and I want to help him learn how to use it as a tool rather than something that is causing problems.

 

One thing we’ve been open about with the kids is that the rules might change. Not arbitrarily but as we learn and as situations change. For example, our oldest doesn’t have any close friends with phones. That makes his usage very different than if all his friends had phones. If all his friends got phones and he was spending large portions of the day texting then we might need to restrict it to certain hours. Or if he was running up huge bills, we would need to talk about that. 

[Mergath]

It's interesting how many are without landlines. It isn't really worth it to go without here, you don't save any money. There are still pay phones around too - the major phone company here was thinking about removing them all a few years ago, and there was a pretty huge blowback. I think they may even have been prevented from doing so in a more formal way.

I can't even remember the last time I used a landline or saw a payphone. Dd is nine and she's never made a call on a landline. I don't think she even knows how.

[abacus2]

I recently bought Freedom POP cheap smartphones for my 11 and 13 year olds. They are on the free plan 200min, 500texts, 500mg data. They use What's App to communicate with their international cousins.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Mine had a "minute", not smart, phone to share at around 8 years old (to take to friends or if they were in the woods).  They only used the minutes in an emergency and rarely ever had cause to do that.  I would have gotten them smart phones on a plan at around 12, when they started going places without me, but we couldn't afford it.  We finally broke down and got a plan for all 4 of us this year since DS 16 got a job and could pay for himself... his 1/4 plus our 1/2 makes DD's use free.  

 

We pay 3/4 DS pays 1/4 

No rules/restrictions other than to not go over our shared data cap and they MUST answer when I call/text.... also subject to being location tracked, for safety only.  We've not restricted their access to anything since they hit double digits. 

Edited November 9, 2017 by foxbridgeacademy

[Bluegoat]

It's cheaper in our case because we're going to have cell phones anyway, so it doesn't make sense to pay for the cell phones and a landline. 

 

As for phone booths, I can't remember the last time I saw a pay phone. I haven't traveled outside of Florida much in the last few years but traveling around the state I haven't seen any.

 

Yes, but this is what I mean.  In my province, people generally have a communications package to be most economical, that includes phone, internet, maybe cable.  And even if you have cell phones on that, it will not save any money to remove the landline.  So largely people keep it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It's interesting how many are without landlines.  It isn't really worth it to go without here, you don't save any money.  There are still pay phones around too - the major phone company here was thinking about removing them all a few years ago, and there was a pretty huge blowback.  I think they may even have been prevented from doing so in a more formal way.

 

We can't even get a landline if we want one.  They no longer have them!

 

We do have VoiP, but yep, no landlines here.

[Bluegoat]

We can't even get a landline if we want one.  They no longer have them!

 

We do have VoiP, but yep, no landlines here.

 

Interesting!

 

So, does that mean they aren't keeping up the infrastructure?

[SparklyUnicorn]

Interesting!

 

So, does that mean they aren't keeping up the infrastructure?

 

No clue.

 

I would prefer to have a landline over VoiP.  The compromise was that the phone company installs a battery backup in the basement in the event of a power outage.  I hate that thing though.  The battery crapped out (something is wrong with it) and they won't replace it (they expect us to even though we pay a rental fee for the battery backup).  And it's just a battery backup.  Not something that'll last all that long.

[Bluegoat]

No clue.

 

I would prefer to have a landline over VoiP.  The compromise was that the phone company installs a battery backup in the basement in the event of a power outage.  I hate that thing though.  The battery crapped out (something is wrong with it) and they won't replace it (they expect us to even though we pay a rental fee for the battery backup).  And it's just a battery backup.  Not something that'll last all that long.

 

You know though, even a lot of landlines these days are dependant on digital networks, so in an outage they are limited by the way the companies keep the cell towers powered.

 

In fact in many places, emergency services like weather reports are on digital networks.  Totally crazy.

 

And of course individual landline phones now, if they are cordless, need power.  I keep looking in antique shops for a corded phone in good shape for power outages.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You know though, even a lot of landlines these days are dependant on digital networks, so in an outage they are limited by the way the companies keep the cell towers powered.

 

In fact in many places, emergency services like weather reports are on digital networks.  Totally crazy.

 

And of course individual landline phones now, if they are cordless, need power.  I keep looking in antique shops for a corded phone in good shape for power outages.

 

We do have a corded phone in the event that happens. 

 

We actually don't lose power that often and since we are in a densely populated area, the power company tends to work on restoration to our area first verses more rural areas.

[mommyoffive]

I recently bought Freedom POP cheap smartphones for my 11 and 13 year olds. They are on the free plan 200min, 500texts, 500mg data. They use What's App to communicate with their international cousins.

 

Is Freedom Pop really free?  You don't pay any monthly fees? 

[Tanaqui]

No later than high school, because by high school they travel a lot by themselves. Accordingly, when the older kiddo started high school, we got a new-to-them phone for each of them.

[La Condessa]

Dh has met so many teens through his work as a D.A. whose lives have been destroyed, starting out with smart phones. It is just so common and so tragic. The parents usually think they are supervising things closely enough, but are not really able to keep up with all of the ways that things can get through. We will not be allowing our kids to have smart phones before adulthood. We'll probably do some kind of dumb phone for our teens, but frankly I've got some hesitancy about not just internet access and apps, but anything with a camera in it.

[rainbowmama]

My second kid got a gizmo at five, mostly because he and his older sister got them as gifts from grandparents. All they do is call me, my spouse, and grandparents. I've actually really liked them, and when my younger children start getting dropped off places, I'll probably get them ones, too.

[Wabi Sabi]

My son got an  iPhone for his 12th birthday. The phone itself was under $100 and it really didn't raise our monthly bill much. As a homeschooler, having a phone was one way he had of staying in touch socially with friends who live all across town and doesn't get to see but maybe once every 2-3 weeks. 

This year he is in school and I'm glad he has one. He likes to walk to the public library after school and hang out at their Teen Center, so having a phone lets me keep in touch with him. Even though the phone must stay in his locker during the day he can check it at lunch and also right before dismissal, and that way he can send me a quick text if pick-up arrangements need to be altered for whatever reason. When we pick him up from the library at the end of the day the phone is useful once again: our library is in our downtown area and parking is a real pain, so it's much easier to text him when we are 5-10 minutes away that he can be waiting outside for us. Our schedules vary on a day to day basis, so setting a time in advance isn't always practical, and not having to fight for a parking meter to go inside and track him down is quite nice as well. Also, since he's allowed to walk from school to the library and often stops for an ice cream or a bubble tea with friends downtown along the way, I do like being able to log into iCloud and see where he is located at anytime. He has a lot of freedom and often has as much as 4 hours of time to do as he pleases after school with his pals, and being able to ping his phone at anytime gives me quite a bit of reassurance.

 

We pay as it's bundled into our bill. No real rules or restrictions other than common sense and common courtesy. He's a pretty internet savvy kid, and I don't worry too much. I do reserve the right to read anything on his phone, which I do from time to time, but I don't monitor every single thing he does. 

Edited November 10, 2017 by Wabi Sabi

[2squared]

Dh has met so many teens through his work as a D.A. whose lives have been destroyed, starting out with smart phones. It is just so common and so tragic. The parents usually think they are supervising things closely enough, but are not really able to keep up with all of the ways that things can get through. We will not be allowing our kids to have smart phones before adulthood. We'll probably do some kind of dumb phone for our teens, but frankly I've got some hesitancy about not just internet access and apps, but anything with a camera in it.

Are you sure the cause of these misfortunes are the phones and not other issues in the teens' lives? Are these teens that otherwise wouldn't have any problems?

 

My dh has worked as as county attorney and is currently a public defender. Phones are not the cause of the issues his clients face. His clients do dumb things with social media and phones, but they would be doing similar dumb things without phones. Social media and phones just provide evidence of the dumb choices.

 

My dh likes to say, "What you call Facebook, I call evidence." I don't know why his clients put evidence of their crimes on

facebook and other social media sites, but they do.

[Annie Elle]

My kids get a dumb phone when they can stay at the house by themselves. They get a smart phone when they start driving( so I can track them).

[La Condessa]

Are you sure the cause of these misfortunes are the phones and not other issues in the teens' lives? Are these teens that otherwise wouldn't have any problems?

 

My dh has worked as as county attorney and is currently a public defender. Phones are not the cause of the issues his clients face. His clients do dumb things with social media and phones, but they would be doing similar dumb things without phones. Social media and phones just provide evidence of the dumb choices.

 

My dh likes to say, "What you call Facebook, I call evidence." I don't know why his clients put evidence of their crimes on

facebook and other social media sites, but they do.

 

You're right of course that it's not just the phones.  The phones do not cause kids' poor decisions that lead to bad consequences; they just open their choices for far more wide-reaching and long-lasting consequences, or for others to blackmail and exploit them with their childish indiscretion, or lure them into addictive behavior.

[2squared]

You're right of course that it's not just the phones.  The phones do not cause kids' poor decisions that lead to bad consequences; they just open their choices for far more wide-reaching and long-lasting consequences, or for others to blackmail and exploit them with their childish indiscretion, or lure them into addictive behavior.

 

Yes, social media can have wider-reaching and longer-lasting consequences. From what my dh deals with at work, his clients have the same struggles with phones as adults as the teens do. Their social situations are so different than what my family lives that I can't compare their decision making and choices with the decision making and choices my family makes. I also can't view choices I make for my kids through that lens.

 

If my kids start going down a path that would mirror that of dh's clients, then we will radically alter course, but their phones won't be my primary concern.  We would have some major lifestyle/decision making issues to deal with first.

[SquirrellyMama]

We didn't set an age. They all got phones when they started babysitting. The families didn't have home phones so the kids got cell phones.

 

Kelly

[gardenmom5]

when they are fully independent with a flexible schedule.  It got my girls cells when they went away to college.  I would have gotten 2dd one in high school, but not in the budget.  1 &  2 dss bought their own, as they were living here and responsible for where and when they went.

dudeling - can dream on.