My dss16

[katilac]

Returning to the idea of micromanaging, I just don't see how this works with a teenager. If he gets up for a third plate, do you stop him? If he keeps going for fast food with friends, do you give a consequence? I would have been humiliated and furious if my parents had done this to me. Heck, that would still be true for me today, lol. Yes, I am trying to lose weight. No, I don't want you to remind me of that when I eat some cookies. 

 

The comparison was made to medicine, but, ime, it is no easier to force teens to take medicine or follow their health protocols. I know several teens who have refused medications and/or health protocols. One involving ADD meds where there were truly negative effects for not taking it, and a couple of diabetics who were inconsistent with food and medicine. What are the parents supposed to do? Teens are naturally going to be out on their own a good bit, you have zero control then. When they are with the parents, are they supposed to hold the kids down to take medicine, or physically grab offending foods away from them? What is the balance between parental responsibility and personal autonomy? 

 

You can teach and guide and create a helpful environment (healthy foods, med schedule), but I don't think you can actually force a 16-yr-old to do much of anything. And attempting to force actions related to their body seems particularly squicky to me. 

[Scarlett]

I have perhaps missed the advice among Squirrel Talk ("Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead. "/Dug)

 

But something important for DSS to learn in when he starts sliding into making not so good choices is how to start over.

 

I know for myself, a middle aged woman, having a script to tell myself. "OK, I ate way too much at the party. I'm still a healthy eater. I'm still on track." Etc. I

 

Teen boys might not be comfortable with that but I think he needs a plan for when bad choices happen, so he doesn't fall into the all-or-nothing trap.

 

 

Oh I just talked to him about that a few days ago.  I asked him if the plan the doctor gave him (which I have not looked at closely) has a plan for treats, etc.  This is what he told me....'well, it says to just do treats sparingly....like pizza night...where I used to have 4 pieces have 2 instead.'  I said 'sounds like a plan.'

[Scarlett]

Returning to the idea of micromanaging, I just don't see how this works with a teenager. If he gets up for a third plate, do you stop him? If he keeps going for fast food with friends, do you give a consequence? I would have been humiliated and furious if my parents had done this to me. Heck, that would still be true for me today, lol. Yes, I am trying to lose weight. No, I don't want you to remind me of that when I eat some cookies. 

 

The comparison was made to medicine, but, ime, it is no easier to force teens to take medicine or follow their health protocols. I know several teens who have refused medications and/or health protocols. One involving ADD meds where there were truly negative effects for not taking it, and a couple of diabetics who were inconsistent with food and medicine. What are the parents supposed to do? Teens are naturally going to be out on their own a good bit, you have zero control then. When they are with the parents, are they supposed to hold the kids down to take medicine, or physically grab offending foods away from them? What is the balance between parental responsibility and personal autonomy? 

 

You can teach and guide and create a helpful environment (healthy foods, med schedule), but I don't think you can actually force a 16-yr-old to do much of anything. And attempting to force actions related to their body seems particularly squicky to me. 

 

 

I was thinking about this for dss's meds.  He takes 3 meds now.  We don't quiz him constantly on if he is taking them or not.  I usually ask him if he has his meds before he takes off for his moms....

 

Same with my ds...he just had to do about 3 rounds of steroids because of a rash/poison ivy something that wont' go away.  He saw to taking it on schedule himself.

[katilac]

Scarlett, one thing he might try is a limited eating window (intermittent fasting). There are various ways of doing it, but the simplest one is to restrict yourself to an 8- or 10-hour window. The theory is that, after 12 hours, the body will begin to burn stored fat, because the last meal has been completely processed. Any time you go past 12 hours is good. And, of course, you are not randomly snacking for at least 12+ hours! 

 

This definitely gives my weight loss a boost. It also massively improves my heartburn, which I think he has also? The nice thing is that it fits any schedule. I usually try to stop eating in between 6 and 7, but if I do eat later, then I just start eating later the next day. Very adaptable. 

 

He would do this alongside the doctor's eating plan.

 

Edited to add that it is also supposed to be good for reducing insulin resistance. Lots of info on the internet. It's also a very "guy" thing, lots of talk about building muscle, etc, so he may prefer that to something like Weight Watchers, which strikes me as more of a "mom" thing. 

Edited September 5, 2017 by katilac

[Scarlett]

Scarlett, one thing he might try is a limited eating window (intermittent fasting). There are various ways of doing it, but the simplest one is to restrict yourself to an 8- or 10-hour window. The theory is that, after 12 hours, the body will begin to burn stored fat, because the last meal has been completely processed. Any time you go past 12 hours is good. And, of course, you are not randomly snacking for at least 12+ hours! 

 

This definitely gives my weight loss a boost. It also massively improves my heartburn, which I think he has also? The nice thing is that it fits any schedule. I usually try to stop eating in between 6 and 7, but if I do eat later, then I just start eating later the next day. Very adaptable. 

 

He would do this alongside the doctor's eating plan.

 

Edited to add that it is also supposed to be good for reducing insulin resistance. Lots of info on the internet. It's also a very "guy" thing, lots of talk about building muscle, etc, so he may prefer that to something like Weight Watchers, which strikes me as more of a "mom" thing. 

 

 

I think he has not been eating breakfast lately.  Since he started having to leave for vo-tech at 7:20.  Before that he would eat as soon as he got up (closer to 8) and sometimes eat waaaay too much.  

 

I am not sure if skipping breakfast is a good idea.

 

Yesterday he made us a fabulous breakfast.  Some sort of poached eggs on top of grilled, onions peppers and tomatoes.  Oh my word.  He only made one egg for each of us.....I wanted more!  Anyway, right after breakfast he got a call to go do some weedeating and I told him he probably needed more food than that one egg to hold him..so he scrambled up a couple more real quick.

[Pen]

Returning to the idea of micromanaging, I just don't see how this works with a teenager. If he gets up for a third plate, do you stop him? If he keeps going for fast food with friends, do you give a consequence? I would have been humiliated and furious if my parents had done this to me. Heck, that would still be true for me today, lol. Yes, I am trying to lose weight. No, I don't want you to remind me of that when I eat some cookies. 

 

The comparison was made to medicine, but, ime, it is no easier to force teens to take medicine or follow their health protocols. I know several teens who have refused medications and/or health protocols. One involving ADD meds where there were truly negative effects for not taking it, and a couple of diabetics who were inconsistent with food and medicine. What are the parents supposed to do? Teens are naturally going to be out on their own a good bit, you have zero control then. When they are with the parents, are they supposed to hold the kids down to take medicine, or physically grab offending foods away from them? What is the balance between parental responsibility and personal autonomy? 

 

You can teach and guide and create a helpful environment (healthy foods, med schedule), but I don't think you can actually force a 16-yr-old to do much of anything. And attempting to force actions related to their body seems particularly squicky to me. 

 

 

That's true. It is hard with teens. Sometimes it involves talking, even if they don't want to listen. Sometimes it might mean having a clue signal set up, especially as seems to be in a case like this where the teen is himself motivated to want to have some improvement.

 

It kind of depends also though on how dangerous or life or health threatening the problem is. 

 

Certainly some kids get hospitalized for anorexia as the only way to make them eat -- I've known some -- though sometimes it is only done too late.  And I suppose some kids get sent to a camp or other program for overweight issues...

 

And there often is Some control, rather than total or No control.  Car keys, for example.

 

They are big and strong, and often headstrong.  They also do not have well developed EF, and may not even understand things that we think they do understand. Like a diabetic kid may not really understand what a diabetic coma is just from being told the words.

[Pen]

I think he has not been eating breakfast lately.  Since he started having to leave for vo-tech at 7:20.  Before that he would eat as soon as he got up (closer to 8) and sometimes eat waaaay too much.  

 

I am not sure if skipping breakfast is a good idea.

 

Yesterday he made us a fabulous breakfast.  Some sort of poached eggs on top of grilled, onions peppers and tomatoes.  Oh my word.  He only made one egg for each of us.....I wanted more!  Anyway, right after breakfast he got a call to go do some weedeating and I told him he probably needed more food than that one egg to hold him..so he scrambled up a couple more real quick.

 

 

Sounds delicious!

 

Maybe he could have a quick, easy, and not too much, thing for breakfast before vo-tch -- like a hardboiled egg that was premade and thus easy to grab and leave with.

 

I'd probably have not suggested that more than one egg would be needed to hold him.

[Scarlett]

Sounds delicious!

 

Maybe he could have a quick, easy, and not too much, thing for breakfast before vo-tch -- like a hardboiled egg that was premade and thus easy to grab and leave with.

 

I'd probably have not suggested that more than one egg would be needed to hold him.

 

 

Really?  It was barely enough to hold me and I wasn't about to go do a bunch of physical work.  

[Pen]

What about food prep as exercise?  For bread, start by, if not planting and / or grinding the wheat, at least making the bread from the flour stage onward. Hand mixing, kneading, etc.    It's not a lot of exercise, but some.

[Catwoman]

Really? It was barely enough to hold me and I wasn't about to go do a bunch of physical work.

Yes, and if he got too hungry while he was out, he might have picked up something junky as a snack to hold him over until his next meal.

[Scarlett]

Yes, and if he got too hungry while he was out, he might have picked up something junky as a snack to hold him over until his next meal.

 

 

That was what I was thinking and trying to help him avoid.  

[Pen]

Really?  It was barely enough to hold me and I wasn't about to go do a bunch of physical work.  

 

 

My ds15 eats less than that before a 3 mile morning run.

[Scarlett]

My ds15 eats less than that before a 3 mile morning run.

 

 

Good to know.  But is he 100 pounds over weight? Or maybe that doesn't matter?  I mean if you are overweight don't you need more fuel just to get normal stuff done?  I don't know I am sincerely asking.

[Pen]

Yes, and if he got too hungry while he was out, he might have picked up something junky as a snack to hold him over until his next meal.

 

 

Take along a healthy snack for just in case?  Drink water?

 

Isn't part of the goal to try to use some stored fat to meet energy needs?

[Scarlett]

Sounds delicious!

 

Maybe he could have a quick, easy, and not too much, thing for breakfast before vo-tch -- like a hardboiled egg that was premade and thus easy to grab and leave with.

 

I'd probably have not suggested that more than one egg would be needed to hold him.

 

 

I need to make up some  hardboiled eggs to eat in the morning.  That would be good for me and dh too.  

[Catwoman]

My ds15 eats less than that before a 3 mile morning run.

My ds17 would be starving shortly after having eaten only one egg for breakfast. That's why I was thinking it was smart of Scarlett to have suggested he have a bit more to eat, and unless he scrambled the extra eggs in a lot of butter, he still didn't eat many additional calories.

[Bootsie]

Well, it was a practical issue as much as anything.  I told him, 'part of this meal is for tomorrow here is your portion.'  

Although it might have been a practical issue to you, it would have been an emotional issue for me if I had to sit down to a family meal (that I had cooked) with obviously less on my plate than the others at the table.  It would seem to be punishment for having tasted too much while I was cooking.  

 

I agree that he needs to be aware of how much he is tasting (and consuming) while he cooks.  If it were my child, it would work better however, to separate that out from portion control at the family meal.  

[Scarlett]

My ds17 would be starving shortly after having eaten only one egg for breakfast. That's why I was thinking it was smart of Scarlett to have suggested he have a bit more to eat, and unless he scrambled the extra eggs in a lot of butter, he still didn't eat many additional calories.

 

 

My 17 year old would have also been starving after only one egg.  We didn't even have toast....there was a lot going on. 

[kiana]

Good to know.  But is he 100 pounds over weight? Or maybe that doesn't matter?  I mean if you are overweight don't you need more fuel just to get normal stuff done?  I don't know I am sincerely asking.

 

You use more fuel, yes. But that fuel doesn't need to come from energy taken in by mouth. It can come from stored fat reserves as well.

 

But it is probably good for him to have healthy snacks available to take with him.

 

For me, at least, having healthy snacks that I was rather "meh" about but didn't hate was good. For example, I wasn't a huge fan of hardboiled eggs but was willing to eat them -- but that was how I told if I was actually hungry or not. If I was willing to eat hardboiled eggs, it was probably hunger. If I wasn't, but I wanted peanuts, well, it probably wasn't physical hunger. Learning how to tell the difference was huge for me. 

[Catwoman]

Take along a healthy snack for just in case? Drink water?

 

Isn't part of the goal to try to use some stored fat to meet energy needs?

If he'd thought to bring along a healthy snack, that could have worked. I was just thinking that one egg and a few vegetables might not have been enough to fill him. I'm not even sure it would be enough to fill me and I'm a small woman. I think Scarlett's dss is over 6 feet tall and will have a husky build even when he loses weight, so I'm sure his body requires quite a few calories just to be healthy.

[Scarlett]

Although it might have been a practical issue to you, it would have been an emotional issue for me if I had to sit down to a family meal (that I had cooked) with obviously less on my plate than the others at the table.  It would seem to be punishment for having tasted too much while I was cooking.  

 

I agree that he needs to be aware of how much he is tasting (and consuming) while he cooks.  If it were my child, it would work better however, to separate that out from portion control at the family meal.  

 

 

Right.  You are right, I probably should not have done that.  But if I had not then either someone else was shorted at dinner or there were no leftovers for the next day as planned.

[Catwoman]

You use more fuel, yes. But that fuel doesn't need to come from energy taken in by mouth. It can come from stored fat reserves as well.

 

But it is probably good for him to have healthy snacks available to take with him.

 

For me, at least, having healthy snacks that I was rather "meh" about but didn't hate was good. For example, I wasn't a huge fan of hardboiled eggs but was willing to eat them -- but that was how I told if I was actually hungry or not. If I was willing to eat hardboiled eggs, it was probably hunger. If I wasn't, but I wanted peanuts, well, it probably wasn't physical hunger. Learning how to tell the difference was huge for me.

That's such a smart idea -- I wouldn't have thought of that!

[Scarlett]

You use more fuel, yes. But that fuel doesn't need to come from energy taken in by mouth. It can come from stored fat reserves as well.

 

But it is probably good for him to have healthy snacks available to take with him.

 

For me, at least, having healthy snacks that I was rather "meh" about but didn't hate was good. For example, I wasn't a huge fan of hardboiled eggs but was willing to eat them -- but that was how I told if I was actually hungry or not. If I was willing to eat hardboiled eggs, it was probably hunger. If I wasn't, but I wanted peanuts, well, it probably wasn't physical hunger. Learning how to tell the difference was huge for me. 

 

 

Good suggestion....hard to know how to convey that to him....

[Guinevere]

Good suggestion....hard to know how to convey that to him....

For me, it's easier to think about what I am going to eat, as opposed to all the things I'm not. Also, it is a position that assumes a person will be eating and that eating is a good thing. Just a little emotional boost, and eating disorder prevention. So, instead of reminding him to watch what he eats, you are encouraging him to remember to eat his baby carrots at 10, or whatever. We all negotiate best from a position of strength.

[ktgrok]

In fairness to Scarlett, though, it sounds like she's trying to understand. She is going to the doctor's appointments with her dss. She's spending a lot of time talking with her dss to try to figure out the best ways to help and support him. She is taking him on special shopping trips so he can choose healthy foods. She's encouraging him to cook healthy meals for the family because he loves to cook.

 

I feel like she is doing the best she can and is listening to both her dss and his doctor to make the weight loss as easy as possible for him, so I think she deserves credit for that.

 

I agree. I just am replying to her comments that her never being overweight means she knows about weight loss. Different things. And an open mind to that concept is important. 

[kitten18]

Fortunately he lives in a home where he walks by a big bowl of fruit all the time. And tomatoes from our friends garden. A huge bowl of grape tomatoes we have been snacking on like candy all week end.

I know that those are healthy foods for most people but it won't be at all helpful to someone on a low carb diet.

Eating fruit and snacking on cherry tomatoes will only drive his desire for carbs/sweets.

[Scarlett]

I know that those are healthy foods for most people but it won't be at all helpful to someone on a low carb diet.

Eating fruit and snacking on cherry tomatoes will only drive his desire for carbs/sweets.

 

 

Really?  

 

Seriously. There seems to be no answer.

[Scarlett]

For me, it's easier to think about what I am going to eat, as opposed to all the things I'm not. Also, it is a position that assumes a person will be eating and that eating is a good thing. Just a little emotional boost, and eating disorder prevention. So, instead of reminding him to watch what he eats, you are encouraging him to remember to eat his baby carrots at 10, or whatever. We all negotiate best from a position of strength.

 

 

This is exactly how *I* eat.  I know the night  before what all I will be eating the next day.  

 

And several times I have asked dss to go make a big salad for us....and several other times I have said, 'dss, dont' forget we have that big salad in there...we don't want that to go to waste.'  Each time he gets up and eats a bowl of salad.  LOL

[Pen]

Good to know.  But is he 100 pounds over weight? Or maybe that doesn't matter?  I mean if you are overweight don't you need more fuel just to get normal stuff done?  I don't know I am sincerely asking.

 

 

I think how big a breakfast should be eaten by dss should come from dss's doctor's protocol.

 

And I guess there would be a question of whether it would be best to be maintaining a daily food intake that is the same as what would be desired for permanent consumption after reaching ideal weight, or less than that to get down to ideal weight.  Also issues of whether ketogenic is excellent or unsafe or whatever, and given that your dss could be at risk of anything even heart attack, I'm sure a qualified physician should answer that.

 

Over long history of humans and mammals, I think fat storage was meant to get through lean times when fat could be burned to make up for lack of daily food. But in modern times in developed nations few of us have a food calorie shortage. Though many of us have nutrition shortages, I think, even when we have enough or more than enough calories.

 

Our vet thinks that animals sometimes will overeat like for humans to store fat for lean times, but also that it can represent a lack of some needed nutritional thing that will cause, say, a dog to keep eating anything it can because it is lacking something it needs.

 

Speaking for myself, I would not have suggested eating more at the outset, but would have suggested having a healthy -- but not overly tempting ---snack along. And water.

 

My ds is only 110lbs total, so I'm sure it takes less fuel for him to move himself than it would take your dss to move himself just as a matter of physics. Otoh, my ds probably moves himself a great deal more than your dss.  I'm not sure in terms of physics what  expenditure of energy in kilocalories a 3 mile run for a 110lber would equate to for your dss in terms of kilocalories for weed-eating at his size for however long.

 

Yet another issue may be stomach size and feelings of fullness. If one eats larger meals, IME, stomach can hold more and thus feels unfull more easily. 

 

 

I'd like to recommend to your dss the book Food and Behavior by Barbara Reed Stitt.  I think he may find it interesting considering the field he wants to go into, and maybe helpful for himself as well.

[kitten18]

Really?

 

Seriously. There seems to be no answer.

Yes, there is. It's a low carb diet.

 

The fruit with a meal and tomatoes on a salad with a meal are probably ok for him. As a snack they simply create insulin spikes that drive hunger and having insulin that's frequently high doesn't allow fat to be released.

[clementine]

Along with the changes you've already implemented, I would also suggest no eating past 6pm.

My dh and I needed to lose weight - a year & a half ago we went on a diet. Kept it off since. I lost 33 lbs. our rule was no eating after 6pm. Nothing. It's hard, but so helpful. Yes, we often go to bed hungry, but once you're asleep, who cares. :)

[catz]

It really does help to pair protein-fat-fiber every time you eat while avoiding white sugar and white cars.  It is much more fulfilling and much less likely to lead to mindless carb addicting grazing. 

[Pen]

Really?  

 

Seriously. There seems to be no answer.

 

 

If he has been given a number of grams of carbohydrate to try to stay under or in some range of, then you (or he) could calculate how much fruit per day he can eat within those guidelines.  

 

Very low carb (keto) plan might allow for only a very little fruit, but his plan might allow for more.  

 

And if he does or does not turn out to have diabetes type issues fruit sugars would need to be considered in that too--or at least that is so for people I know dealing with that issue.

 

Personally, as carbs go, I'd much rather see it coming from raw fruits, especially ones with high nutrients, than refined bread or sugar.

[kiana]

Really?  

 

Seriously. There seems to be no answer.

 

Yeah, unfortunately. Good filling lower-carb snacks would be things like string cheese, boiled eggs, jerky, non-starchy veggies.

[Kassia]

Along with the changes you've already implemented, I would also suggest no eating past 6pm.

My dh and I needed to lose weight - a year & a half ago we went on a diet. Kept it off since. I lost 33 lbs. our rule was no eating after 6pm. Nothing. It's hard, but so helpful. Yes, we often go to bed hungry, but once you're asleep, who cares. :)

 

That doesn't work for everyone.  I wake up hungry in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep.  Maybe it's a blood sugar thing?  I need to eat a snack before bed and would be miserable if I didn't eat after 6pm.  

[TeenagerMom]

If he has been given a number of grams of carbohydrate to try to stay under or in some range of, then you (or he) could calculate how much fruit per day he can eat within those guidelines.  

 

Very low carb (keto) plan might allow for only a very little fruit, but his plan might allow for more.  

 

And if he does or does not turn out to have diabetes type issues fruit sugars would need to be considered in that too--or at least that is so for people I know dealing with that issue.

 

Personally, as carbs go, I'd much rather see it coming from raw fruits, especially ones with high nutrients, than refined bread or sugar.

 

Usually our carbs come from vegetables and dairy since they contain them also and we can eat more of them in comparison to getting our carbs from fruit.

 

Berries are the best fruit for low carb diets.  If I am trying to hit Ketosis, I keep it under 25 g of carbs a day.  1 medium sized apple has 25  g of carbs.  There are 16 g of carbs in a cup of grapes.  There are also around 25 g of carbs in a banana.  A lot of fruit is really not ideal if you are trying to low carb it (and I still can't get this through my husband's head).

[Frances]

Really?

 

Seriously. There seems to be no answer.

At a minimum, he should be having some protein with his fruit snack if doing low carb. Also, some fruits are much better than others. Blueberries are very good.

[TeenagerMom]

Our favorite low carby snacks- Cottage cheese. 

Sliced Cheddar cheese and summer sausage. 

 

And these::::: soooooooo yummy

 

https://ketodietapp.com/Blog/post/2014/08/20/Strawberry-Cheesecake-Fat-Bombs

Edited September 5, 2017 by TeenagerMom

[Catwoman]

Really?

 

Seriously. There seems to be no answer.

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all approach to weight loss. I know when I talk to friends who have lost weight and kept it off, each of them has followed a different path -- and all have tried several different eating plans before finding what worked for them.

 

Your dss might do well on a low-carb diet... or on WW... or by following a Mediterranean diet... or by trying something altogether different that allows him to eat foods he likes while still helping him lose weight.

 

There seems to be a lot of trial and error for many people, and I'm not sure any approach is perfect. My friends all seem to have tweaked the plans they follow to make them work for their lifestyles, and once your dss finds out what works for him, I'm sure he will do the same. The one thing I have noticed about my friends is that they aren't completely depriving themselves of the foods they love -- they all seem to say that as soon as they think they can "never" eat a certain food again, they start craving it, while if they give themselves permission to have it occasionally, they don't care as much about it.

[Scarlett]

Portions were not addressed at all in the hand out the doctor gave him. Does someone have a link to figure out. How many grams of carb he should keep it to for his weight!

[Pen]

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all approach to weight loss. I know when I talk to friends who have lost weight and kept it off, each of them has followed a different path -- and all have tried several different eating plans before finding what worked for them.

 

Your dss might do well on a low-carb diet... or on WW... or by following a Mediterranean diet... or by trying something altogether different that allows him to eat foods he likes while still helping him lose weight.

 

There seems to be a lot of trial and error for many people, and I'm not sure any approach is perfect. My friends all seem to have tweaked the plans they follow to make them work for their lifestyles, and once your dss finds out what works for him, I'm sure he will do the same. The one thing I have noticed about my friends is that they aren't completely depriving themselves of the foods they love -- they all seem to say that as soon as they think they can "never" eat a certain food again, they start craving it, while if they give themselves permission to have it occasionally, they don't care as much about it.

 

 

I generally agree, and I think that permission to have something on occasion is true for me--at least as long as it is not something that triggers illness reactions.  

 

Some people tell me that after they've made a change to another diet and stuck with it long enough to feel great on it that craving foods from the past ends...  I know that is true for some people I know on all raw foods, and for some on ketogenic...both of which may eliminate some things from the past, but can allow a lot of wonderful food of their own.  And where once the transition is fully made, cooked or carb heavy can sound like "ick" sort of like a confirmed vegan convert thinking ick about a steak.

 

And then there is the Amanda Salisbury-Salis (spelling?) approach where nothing need be given up...

 

And also similarly some  approaches where any food can be eaten, but it is eaten slowly with great mindfulness... 

 

 

 

 

(I wonder if as I followed along with this thread my own weight has gone up, down, or stayed the same.)

[DawnM]

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all approach to weight loss. I know when I talk to friends who have lost weight and kept it off, each of them has followed a different path -- and all have tried several different eating plans before finding what worked for them.

 

Your dss might do well on a low-carb diet... or on WW... or by following a Mediterranean diet... or by trying something altogether different that allows him to eat foods he likes while still helping him lose weight.

 

There seems to be a lot of trial and error for many people, and I'm not sure any approach is perfect. My friends all seem to have tweaked the plans they follow to make them work for their lifestyles, and once your dss finds out what works for him, I'm sure he will do the same. The one thing I have noticed about my friends is that they aren't completely depriving themselves of the foods they love -- they all seem to say that as soon as they think they can "never" eat a certain food again, they start craving it, while if they give themselves permission to have it occasionally, they don't care as much about it.

 

And many times there are alternatives to the foods you need to cut out.  Low carb/cauliflower pizza crust for example (I wish it came pre-made!)  Low fat or low carb cheesecake with substitutes to make it more diet friendly for whatever diet you are following.  That sort of thing.

[Callie]

And many times there are alternatives to the foods you need to cut out. Low carb/cauliflower pizza crust for example (I wish it came pre-made!) Low fat or low carb cheesecake with substitutes to make it more diet friendly for whatever diet you are following. That sort of thing.

It does @ Trader Joes.

[teachermom2834]

Scarlett- I think you have gotten more advice here than you can possibly process. So many different approaches and I know you are trying.

 

I gained 30+ lbs one year and 20 the next. I saw a doc and had all the tests. I was convinced I was pre-diabetic or had thyroid issues or something. But no. I just really had a terribly stressful time in my life that led to some really bad habits. I'm losing the weight now with both calorie and carb restriction. Basically the carb restriction is what makes the calorie restriction possible because it stabilizes my blood sugar and I'm not really hungry.

 

I think your dss can lose weight. For a young man of that size I would imagine he is burning a lot of calories in his daily life (even if inactive) so he probably can still eat quite a bit and have a calorie deficit. His diet doesn't need to look like mine to lose weight.

 

For someone who just really enjoys food and cooking, low carb is a great choice. There are many rich foods that can be eaten and interesting recipes that can be made low carb. I would let him eat low carb without restricting calories initially to get used to it. Then once the carbs are mostly gone, work on restricting calories bit by bit.

 

Low carb veggies, meats, cheeses, eggs can make a pretty satisfying diet, especially if he is a good cook. Limited amounts of nuts (personally I portion mine out in ziploc bags of proper serving sizes or they can be trouble). Limited fruits with the idea they can be gradually added back in once his body is running on fat instead of carbs.

 

As a young person he probably will have a more forgiving metabolism than a middle age woman. I have been low carb long enough that I can have a pizza night with a couple pieces of pizza and it doesn't derail me. So, he doesn't have to be perfect by any stretch. He probably can eat quite a bit of the right foods and still lose. Definitely let him eat eggs. To me, at least, eggs are the kind of thing that have a natural stopping point. Delicious and then...enough. Not going to grossly overeat eggs like they are cinnamon rolls. Lol.

 

While things like pork rinds are not the healthiest snack it is something junky he can have as a treat when he is craving something. Same with some of the low carb dessert substitutes. Some have weird ingredients and may not be something to eat frequently but they can help in the beginning stages. I now don't need any of those treats to stay on track but it can help to have something like that while adjusting.

 

Best wishes. Being overweight at any age just plain stinks and especially true for a teen. Living with someone overweight and wanting to help them is pretty painful too.

 

One foot in front of the other.

[kitten18]

Portions were not addressed at all in the hand out the doctor gave him. Does someone have a link to figure out. How many grams of carb he should keep it to for his weight!

I will look. Many low carbers eat as low as 20g of carbs a day but I off the top of my head I would say 50g for him. That is what is advised for pregnant and breastfeeding women.

 

I would start with eliminating grains and increasing fats. For the first few weeks I wouldn't think about portions at all as long as the food is protein, fats, and vegetables that grow above ground.

[Hilltopmom]

I will look. Many low carbers eat as low as 20g of carbs a day but I off the top of my head I would say 50g for him. That is what is advised for pregnant and breastfeeding women.

 

I would start with eliminating grains and increasing fats. For the first few weeks I wouldn't think about portions at all as long as the food is protein, fats, and vegetables that grow above ground.

Along those lines- any recommended books or fav websites about eating low carb for weight loss?

Too many choices to narrow down on Amazon or the library.

Thanks

[Scarlett]

Scarlett- I think you have gotten more advice here than you can possibly process. So many different approaches and I know you are trying.

 

I gained 30+ lbs one year and 20 the next. I saw a doc and had all the tests. I was convinced I was pre-diabetic or had thyroid issues or something. But no. I just really had a terribly stressful time in my life that led to some really bad habits. I'm losing the weight now with both calorie and carb restriction. Basically the carb restriction is what makes the calorie restriction possible because it stabilizes my blood sugar and I'm not really hungry.

 

I think your dss can lose weight. For a young man of that size I would imagine he is burning a lot of calories in his daily life (even if inactive) so he probably can still eat quite a bit and have a calorie deficit. His diet doesn't need to look like mine to lose weight.

 

For someone who just really enjoys food and cooking, low carb is a great choice. There are many rich foods that can be eaten and interesting recipes that can be made low carb. I would let him eat low carb without restricting calories initially to get used to it. Then once the carbs are mostly gone, work on restricting calories bit by bit.

 

Low carb veggies, meats, cheeses, eggs can make a pretty satisfying diet, especially if he is a good cook. Limited amounts of nuts (personally I portion mine out in ziploc bags of proper serving sizes or they can be trouble). Limited fruits with the idea they can be gradually added back in once his body is running on fat instead of carbs.

 

As a young person he probably will have a more forgiving metabolism than a middle age woman. I have been low carb long enough that I can have a pizza night with a couple pieces of pizza and it doesn't derail me. So, he doesn't have to be perfect by any stretch. He probably can eat quite a bit of the right foods and still lose. Definitely let him eat eggs. To me, at least, eggs are the kind of thing that have a natural stopping point. Delicious and then...enough. Not going to grossly overeat eggs like they are cinnamon rolls. Lol.

 

While things like pork rinds are not the healthiest snack it is something junky he can have as a treat when he is craving something. Same with some of the low carb dessert substitutes. Some have weird ingredients and may not be something to eat frequently but they can help in the beginning stages. I now don't need any of those treats to stay on track but it can help to have something like that while adjusting.

 

Best wishes. Being overweight at any age just plain stinks and especially true for a teen. Living with someone overweight and wanting to help them is pretty painful too.

 

One foot in front of the other.

 

 

Thank you.  I am overwhelmed by this thread.  I talked to dh quite a bit about it last night and this morning and explained a few things he didn't realize....We have decided to see what happens over the course of a month with him going low carb without portion control or counting carbs.  If he doesn't seem to be making some progress after that we are going to discuss with him counting carbs.  In the meantime I am going to find some time to talk to him and see if he has any triggers that we have in our house that is making him miserable.

 

Last night he made dinner for us.  It was delicious.  He made pork chops (grilled), mustard greens with bacon and onions, asparagus and baked potatoes.  He made the baked potatoes at my request because I knew there would not be enough of what he was making to fill ds up.....anyway he skipped the baked potato.  Oh and he made a hollandaise sauce.  It was perfect and delicious.  But he had never tasted it before and didn't know if it was right....LOL......he didn't like it.  Dh told me this morning he felt that was all too fattening and rich of a meal for someone trying to lose weight and I told him since dss skipped the potato I don't think it was too bad for him.  

[Hilltopmom]

I just wanted to say I'm following along here as I have a child in the same position, who is not yet open to making changes, although he ocassionally says he is. (& another teen who beat an eating disorder, so some odd dynamics here too)

 

Thanks for hanging in on this thread this far Scarlett. It's helping others out too.

Good luck to your dss!

Edited September 6, 2017 by Hilltopmom

[Scarlett]

I just wanted to say I'm following along here as I have a child in the same position, who is not yet open to making changes, although he ocassionally says he is. (& another teen who beat an eating disorder, so some odd dynamics here too)

 

Thanks for hanging in on this thread this far Scarlett. It's helping others out too.

Good luck to your dss!

 

 

Thank you!  I know some people think I don't 'hear' anything they are saying I really do learn a lot.

[Valley Girl]

I just wanted to say I'm following along here as I have a child in the same position, who is not yet open to making changes, although he ocassionally says he is.

 

 

Right there with you. We're taking baby steps, but it's doubly hard to make changes when the person involved is extremely limited in what he/she will eat, none of which includes fruits/vegetables/eggs/whole grains/etc.. (Before anyone jumps in, the limitations are NOT because Mom and Dad failed to make healthy foods available or model healthy eating.) Hugs to all who are trying to help their kids make better choices. It's a tough road.