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Anne in CA
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I have a dear friend who is going to court with a custody case on Monday. She has always been a loving wonderful mother, but her ex is a very controlling abuser and wants the kids for himself. Well, not himself. He spends no time at all with them no and he has 50/50 time. His new wife raises them when they are at his house, she has three kids of her own and she is not a nice person. She is also controlling and devious. The evidence they have against my friend is fake, but the judge is old and has been allowing more and more bad evidence into cases. I don't think she would lose under ordinary circumstances, but her lawyer says the judge is getting less reasonable the older he gets. (he is almost 75) and may very well side with her ex just because the judge is finding for more rich white men as a trend even when they are not the better parent. Uggghhh. 

 

Would you pray for my friend until Monday evening. She has been doing very well but her ex knows he doesn't have much of a case and has been being extra mean trying to get her to snap. It hurts her heart that she had children with this man and he doesn't love them, he just doesn't want her to have them. If he really loved them he wouldn't be acting like this. It is sad. 

 

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Thank you for your continued prayer. Her attorney has convinced her to spend the night in a hotel tonight to avoid a bad confrontation with him. Some good news is that someone he was very abusive to in a commercial setting is going to testify. That was unexpected because usually people don't want to get involved. Especially when someone is as nasty as her ex. It will be much harder to find for him if it is proven that he is just a plain creep. 

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Thank you for the continued prayers. The witness he has left is his expert witness. This particular witness is known as a "gun for hire" who will say anything. This expert witness is going to ask the judge to keep the kids away from my friend with no contact for 18 months. I do not believe the judge would do that, even if he gave her ex custody, but it won't matter. If the ex gets custody he will move and use his money to keep my friend away from her kids. Interestingly his new wife is a super manipulator too and has managed to keep the two fathers of her children away for years. 

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 If the ex gets custody he will move and use his money to keep my friend away from her kids. Interestingly his new wife is a super manipulator too and has managed to keep the two fathers of her children away for years. 

 

That would be a breach of court orders, because there would be visitation clauses he's obliged to keep.

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That would be a breach of court orders, because there would be visitation clauses he's obliged to keep.

Yes, but as my sister has seen over the past year, ex's don't necessarily follow court orders regarding visitation rights. And then it's up to the noncustodial parent to cough up money and lawyers to prove their own rights.

Edited by Kinsa
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Yes, but as my sister has seen over the past year, ex's don't necessarily follow court orders regarding visitation rights. And then it's up to the noncustodial parent to cough up money and lawyers to prove their own rights.

 

Yes. But at least it is an adequate excuse to go back to court, which is better than not having one.

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Yes. But at least it is an adequate excuse to go back to court, which is better than not having one.

True. And ULTIMATELY it does come back to bite them. But in the meantime...

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The issue is that he will probably leave the country, his brother launders money in another country anyway. Then the cost will go up so much my friend might be powerless. 

 

But the trouble is that kids are growing up while one person refuses visitation. Those are years no one can get back.

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I have a dear friend who is going to court with a custody case on Monday. She has always been a loving wonderful mother, but her ex is a very controlling abuser and wants the kids for himself. Well, not himself. He spends no time at all with them no and he has 50/50 time. His new wife raises them when they are at his house, she has three kids of her own and she is not a nice person. She is also controlling and devious. The evidence they have against my friend is fake, but the judge is old and has been allowing more and more bad evidence into cases. I don't think she would lose under ordinary circumstances, but her lawyer says the judge is getting less reasonable the older he gets. (he is almost 75) and may very well side with her ex just because the judge is finding for more rich white men as a trend even when they are not the better parent. Uggghhh.

 

Would you pray for my friend until Monday evening. She has been doing very well but her ex knows he doesn't have much of a case and has been being extra mean trying to get her to snap. It hurts her heart that she had children with this man and he doesn't love them, he just doesn't want her to have them. If he really loved them he wouldn't be acting like this. It is sad.

 

 

Any news yet?

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The issue is that he will probably leave the country, his brother launders money in another country anyway. Then the cost will go up so much my friend might be powerless.

 

But the trouble is that kids are growing up while one person refuses visitation. Those are years no one can get back.

Do the children already have passports? If not he won't be able to get them without both parents present. Your sister can decline to meet him at the passport office.

 

If they already have passports, can she ask that they be surrendered to the court because she has good reason to believe he will leave the country with the children? I don't know how that works, really, but maybe that's an option.

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Actually passports are one of the reasons he feels he is a better parent. He was demanding that he get passports that list him as the guardian and she would not as right now she has custody. He is trying to make her look crazy for not giving him the passports. 

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I'm so sorry.  I have seen people be totally cruel and heartless, using children as nothing but manipulation tools.. and I will never, NEVER understand how a parent can do that.  There must just be emptiness and evil where their heart should be.

 

:grouphug:

Edited by goldberry
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I'm so sorry.  I have seen people be totally cruel and heartless, using children as nothing but manipulation tools.. and I will never, NEVER understand how a parent can do that.  There must just be emptiness and evil where their heart should be.

 

:grouphug:

In the case of this person and their wife I do believe they are pretty empty inside. Control is the most important thing to them.

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