Everyone has PTSD, vent

[Janeway]

Sounds like people are just throwing the term around like they do OCD. I have to have my things in the right place, I am so OCD.. things like that are often said, especially among the younger generation I have noticed. The mental health language is very casually thrown around I think. People also call themselves bit-polar when they have a mood swing, or or manic when they have extra energy.

 

It is interesting how all these mental health phrases are emerging into the general lexicon. On the one hand, it can seem insulting to those really struggling with those issues. On the other hand, I wonder if it signifies a shift towards a greater acceptance of the fact that people have mental health issues. I mean, it was just a generation or two ago that a lot of people wouldn't even speak about mental health issues due to stigma. It seems like the stigma is lessening.

 I think it reduces tolerance. People don't seem to get that mental health issues are real. People will throw around these terms as insults. "I hate her, she is so nasty. She is obviously bipolar." After hearing that, why would anyone get help for bipolar disorder or accept that they have it? After all, the main symptoms is that you are just nasty. OCD is not really seen as a real thing..it just means someone wants things organized. No..it does not just mean that, it is a real thing that can be completely disabling. Of course, historically, there was no tolerance so I guess things are getting better.

[Catwoman]

I think it reduces tolerance. People don't seem to get that mental health issues are real. People will throw around these terms as insults. "I hate her, she is so nasty. She is obviously bipolar." After hearing that, why would anyone get help for bipolar disorder or accept that they have it? After all, the main symptoms is that you are just nasty. OCD is not really seen as a real thing..it just means someone wants things organized. No..it does not just mean that, it is a real thing that can be completely disabling. Of course, historically, there was no tolerance so I guess things are getting better.

I could be wrong, but I think there is more tolerance, and that more people than ever before are becoming aware that these mental health issues are real, and that it is becoming far more accepted to seek professional help for these problems.

[Lawana]

Again, trauma happens to everyone. For some, (most?), the trauma is processed, integrated, and life goes on. For various reasons related to the level of trauma and an individual's ability to cope or process, some are not able to process the trauma and the after effects disrupt their everyday lives. Hence the term PostTraumatic Stress Disorder.

 

Why do we feel the need to judge whether someone else's trauma is or is not worthy of disrupting their lives?

 

Lawana

(Survivor of childhood abuse, married to combat veteran, who is perfectly fine with acknowledging that trauma comes in many forms, and not just capital T ones.)

[Janeway]

Actually, I do think it is harmless. There are people with real disabling mental health issues. And then the snow flakes toss the term around for attention. It gets old. Like the person who sues a fast food place for forgetting his napkins. It gets old and it is offensive. AND, it does have a cost to society. It is just hypochondria, attention seeking, fake, "look at me, my life is just the worst, you have no clue what I have been through", attention seeking hypochondria. And I think it is ugly, over the top self centered,  and rude.

 

Edited to add: I think I have PTSD from dealing with snow flakes now. <whine>

Edited February 28, 2017 by Janeway

[Lawana]

Actually, I do think it is harmless. There are people with real disabling mental health issues. And then the snow flakes toss the term around for attention. It gets old. Like the person who sues a fast food place for forgetting his napkins. It gets old and it is offensive. AND, it does have a cost to society. It is just hypochondria, attention seeking, fake, "look at me, my life is just the worst, you have no clue what I have been through", attention seeking hypochondria. And I think it is ugly, over the top self centered, and rude.

And I think you are over the top rude for judging what another human being is experiencing. You do not have the facts to determine whether this person is attention seeking, or is attempting to process a real to them trauma. Heaven forbid you ever need compassion for something that may be judged unworthy by a fellow human being.

[TechWife]

And I go the other way - I had major trauma and after effects from the issues surrounding my little guy and the NICU, but I'm careful to say that while it was depressing and traumatic and ten kinds of awful, I don't have PTSD. Some of the mamas who have had the same things happen to them have in fact been diagnosed with ICU induced PTSD, which I didn't even know was a thing.

 

Hugs to you! I'm sorry your birth trauma was made unnecessarily more awful than it already was just by virtue of not bringing a baby home. I can't even imagine :(

 

I was a bit scattered and disoriented for a while (along with anxiety and insomnia) after my son was discharged from the hospital following a trauma. One of my friends told me one day "You need to eat something. Here,  you can't think straight because you've been through a trauma." Until that point, I hadn't thought that I had been through a trauma, but I had.  However, I did not and do not have PTSD. I had a typical reaction to a traumatic experience. Those who have PTSD fall outside of the realm of typical reactions. 

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Edited February 28, 2017 by TechWife

[Catwoman]

Actually, I do think it is harmless. There are people with real disabling mental health issues. And then the snow flakes toss the term around for attention. It gets old. Like the person who sues a fast food place for forgetting his napkins. It gets old and it is offensive. AND, it does have a cost to society. It is just hypochondria, attention seeking, fake, "look at me, my life is just the worst, you have no clue what I have been through", attention seeking hypochondria. And I think it is ugly, over the top self centered,  and rude.

 

Edited to add: I think I have PTSD from dealing with snow flakes now. <whine>

I don't understand why you are calling a woman whom you described in your OP as having mental health issues as a "snow flake."

 

That's so mean. You seem so angry.

[zoobie]

Actually, I do think it is harmless. There are people with real disabling mental health issues. And then the snow flakes toss the term around for attention. It gets old. Like the person who sues a fast food place for forgetting his napkins. It gets old and it is offensive. AND, it does have a cost to society. It is just hypochondria, attention seeking, fake, "look at me, my life is just the worst, you have no clue what I have been through", attention seeking hypochondria. And I think it is ugly, over the top self centered, and rude.

 

Edited to add: I think I have PTSD from dealing with snow flakes now. <whine>

People who don't know you from Adam have shown you compassion here on the boards. The cashier is a real person. Her pain is real. Whether it rises to a level that would be diagnosed by a doctor is perhaps unlikely, but she's not in a doctor's office demanding drugs or treatment. She was reaching out to another human being for some type of connection. Being kind is always easier than being cruel. Her life has zero bearing on yours. Why expend so much venom on someone who checked out your groceries at the store?

 

I'm not religious, but I keep thinking "WWJD?"

 

This thread makes me very sad and makes me realize why I don't like talking to people. Chances are, they're going to turn around and tear you to shreds.

[Mergath]

When people tell me stories like in the OP, I just listen and make a polite comment, because that person may not have anyone else in her life who will listen to her worries, and if it makes her feel better to vent to a stranger like me about her cat that died (or whatever,) it's not a big deal. It's only a moment out of my day and if I spend a few minutes in the checkout line listening to a lonely person instead of ignoring her, maybe I've made her day a little bit better. I certainly haven't lost anything by chatting with her.

 

:iagree:  Regardless of whether she has diagnosed PTSD or not, obviously the event caused her a great deal of pain if she's still hurting from it several years later. She deserves sympathy, not scorn and snide comments.

 

I have real, severe OCD. When someone says they have OCD because they like their pens a certain way, I inwardly roll my eyes a little but I can't imagine flying into a rage and viciously insulting them on a homeschooling forum. That doesn't seem like a normal reaction to me. At all.

 

[Mergath]

Actually, I do think it is harmless. There are people with real disabling mental health issues. And then the snow flakes toss the term around for attention. It gets old. Like the person who sues a fast food place for forgetting his napkins. It gets old and it is offensive. AND, it does have a cost to society. It is just hypochondria, attention seeking, fake, "look at me, my life is just the worst, you have no clue what I have been through", attention seeking hypochondria. And I think it is ugly, over the top self centered,  and rude.

 

Edited to add: I think I have PTSD from dealing with snow flakes now. <whine>

 

Before you judge other people, you really ought to examine your own attitudes. People constantly spewing vitriolic crap like this on the internet every time someone annoys them is a lot more harmful to society than a woman broken-hearted over a cat saying she has PTSD.

[MercyA]

People who don't know you from Adam have shown you compassion here on the boards. The cashier is a real person. Her pain is real. Whether it rises to a level that would be diagnosed by a doctor is perhaps unlikely, but she's not in a doctor's office demanding drugs or treatment. She was reaching out to another human being for some type of connection. Being kind is always easier than being cruel. Her life has zero bearing on yours. Why expend so much venom on someone who checked out your groceries at the store?

 

I'm not religious, but I keep thinking "WWJD?"

 

Well said, zoobie.

[gardenmom5]

Actually, I do think it is harmless. There are people with real disabling mental health issues. And then the snow flakes toss the term around for attention. It gets old. Like the person who sues a fast food place for forgetting his napkins. It gets old and it is offensive. AND, it does have a cost to society. It is just hypochondria, attention seeking, fake, "look at me, my life is just the worst, you have no clue what I have been through", attention seeking hypochondria. And I think it is ugly, over the top self centered,  and rude.

 

Edited to add: I think I have PTSD from dealing with snow flakes now. <whine>

 

if you do think it is harmless - why. are. you. going. on. and. on. about it?

 

or is that a typo and you do not think it is harmless?

 

you're the one who described her as

 

 

The chatty clerk  . . . . . .  I am not saying that woman did not have some sort of mental health issue, she clearly did.

 

but honestly, she was a stranger in a grocery store with whom you had one encounter that lasted less than five minutes.    you're never going to see her again.

and you are being quite judgmental.

[scoutingmom]

Is it possible that she actually has PTSD from a horrific event, but can't talk about the event and uses the death of her cat as a socially acceptable stand-in for said event? Just spitballing.

 

 

Eh, I have OCD, but I find jokes about OCD funny. Especially if it's a joke about being fussy or a neatnik, since I'm a complete slob. [emoji23]

I have CDO.... It is like OCD, but alphabetical, like it should be. (Just had to....). :)

 

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[LucyStoner]

:iagree: Regardless of whether she has diagnosed PTSD or not, obviously the event caused her a great deal of pain if she's still hurting from it several years later. She deserves sympathy, not scorn and snide comments.

 

I have real, severe OCD. When someone says they have OCD because they like their pens a certain way, I inwardly roll my eyes a little but I can't imagine flying into a rage and viciously insulting them on a homeschooling forum. That doesn't seem like a normal reaction to me. At all.

 

I agree wholeheartedly. I understand groaning inwardly when people lightly say they have something which profoundly impairs one's own life. I don't joke about OCD for example because I know how paralyzing it was for me untreated/unaddressed. Same with PTSD.

 

I'd even take it a step further and say that there is some truth to the idea that people are trivializing things like OCD, PTSD and NPD when they joke about it or seem to flippantly self dx it.

 

That said, the reaction of the OP is totally outsized. Give it a rest. Let it go. Crikey! Breathe. It will do you some good. Further, it's not for us to know why someone said something or if that is the whole story. Sometimes people only reveal part of themselves. Someone who mentions having PTSD for something that seems minor may actually have it or something else and have a history of more severe trauma that they just don't share.

Edited February 28, 2017 by LucyStoner

[G5052]

We're separated now, but I've lived with a spouse battling personality disorders, mood disorders, PTSD, and dementia. I've been in counselling for over a decade trying to cope.

 

But frankly in a situation like that, I'd just sympathize. Every day I pray that God will give me an opportunity to help and encourage the people who come across my path. Life is so very difficult, and I want to be someone that makes a difference.

[Catwoman]

We're separated now, but I've lived with a spouse battling personality disorders, mood disorders, PTSD, and dementia. I've been in counselling for over a decade trying to cope.

 

But frankly in a situation like that, I'd just sympathize. Every day I pray that God will give me an opportunity to help and encourage the people who come across my path. Life is so very difficult, and I want to be someone that makes a difference.

This means so much coming from you, because although you are suffering so much right now, you would still take the time to be kind to someone else in need of a sympathetic ear. You are such a sweet person.

 

Still praying for you and your family. :grouphug:

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I've been thinking about this thread all morning. Everything about this bothers me. 

 

The basic premises of this thread are astonishing. We do not know, we can't possibly know, that this woman has a mental illness (including PTSD) based on the observations of the OP. The OP had one interaction with this woman and it wasn't a positive experience. The clerk may have been having a bad day. Maybe it was the anniversary of the death of the cat. Or maybe she's stressed out about something else and that stress made her think about the cat. Either way, her feelings about her loss and her belief that she has PTSD were on her mind. Maybe the OP was having a bad moment and that made her less than sympathetic toward the clerk.

 

With all due respect to the OP, how can one determine the mental status of an individual with one short interaction? Many people have days when they overshare or expose their innermost thoughts and feelings. I've done it, especially at times of great stress. If this person were doing something so overtly abnormal as to allow a layperson to determine the presence of mental illness, I seriously doubt she would have been employed and working as a clerk at a store where she had to deal with customers all day while being chatty (which implies a happy attitude). I would really like to know the lead in to the conversation about PTSD and what other behaviors the clerk was engaging in to make someone think she was mentally ill.

 

I also have strong feelings with how psych terms and language regarding mental illness are bandied about by people with only a modicum of understanding about what those terms really mean. Jokes about things like Bipolar disorder, OCD, and any other disorder just aren't funny, except for maybe when they're made by someone suffering from that illness or someone with intimate knowledge about that illness (mother, spouse, child, etc). 

 

The DSM is fluid and mental illness criteria and diagnoses are changing at a dramatic pace. Some of these changes are based on scientific research and years of observation; others as a result of a fast changing society (cell phone addiction and its affect on anxiety, for example). I have no doubt that PTSD will have multiple sub-categories before too long. We must all remember, however, that when it comes to mental illness, there isn't a one-size-fits-all check list. Causative stimuli and the subsequent reactions, whether overt or covert, are as individual as the person experiencing them. Brains are different, personal histories are different.

 

Another issue I have is this...when I go to a store and am checking out the last thing I want is to have an emotional conversation with the checkout clerk. There should be a basic expectation of some decorum between checker and customer. Yes, I understand that people are lonely and need attention and a sympathetic ear. Not everyone has a group of friends with whom to disclose and vent but a public place, esp when one of the people in the dialogue cannot opt out as in the clerk-customer relationship, is not appropriate for this sort of open communication and sharing. Please, just ring up my toilet paper and Cheerios so I can get on with life. (I also have issues with clerks having conversations with each other and talking over their customers, but that's another thread.)

 

Edited March 1, 2017 by Scoutermom

[Ausmumof3]

I think it looks like the PTSD that soldiers deal with is something different and some research shows its related to blast. There appears to be a specific pattern of brain scarring related to it. Hopefully in time there might be a physical test or something.

 

In general the apllication of labels for a disorder someone doesn't have isn't great OCD etc etc. I'd cut her some slack though as she just lost her cat and she's only doing what a lot of other people do in a kind of thoughtless way. Losing pets is a big deal.

[TravelingChris]

I think some people mistake normal stress reactions as PTSD too.  I remember after my first experience with an earthquake and every bigger one after that, I became hyper alert and more jumpy and very stressed out when traffic put me under bridges, etc.  When I had very stressful experiences with my children and three of them were in one year, I was very stressed out.  I had trouble sleeping, was very sad and anxious, and generally not in such a good place mentally.  I adjusted to the new situation with one child and the other situation went away and I didn't have problems anymore.  I never called those situations nor the frightening situations I have had with my own health, PTSD, and I never had it.  I had normal situational depression and anxiety because of very stressful situations.  But when the situations abated, the symptoms went away.  

[Greta]

Actually, I do think it is harmless. There are people with real disabling mental health issues. And then the snow flakes toss the term around for attention. It gets old. Like the person who sues a fast food place for forgetting his napkins. It gets old and it is offensive. AND, it does have a cost to society. It is just hypochondria, attention seeking, fake, "look at me, my life is just the worst, you have no clue what I have been through", attention seeking hypochondria. And I think it is ugly, over the top self centered,  and rude.

 

Edited to add: I think I have PTSD from dealing with snow flakes now. <whine>

 

 

Actually, I think she just sounds very, very lonely.   :(

[Jean in Newcastle]

Some people with issues are not good with social skills. This includes communication. Some times people are offensive by accident and can understand an explanation of what the offense is and can change accordingly. But someone with issues isn't going to get the distinctions.

 

 

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[Vida Winter]

I have Severe PTSD.  I am sorry that her pet died, I always hope to outlive my pets. She is a joke.

 

Lanny, I am sorry to hear this. I can tell you are a kind person and wish you the best of health always.

[Popsicle]

Some background...my 10yo ds was in our hallway 20 minutes ago banging his head repeatedly on the wall. He has OCD (and Tourette's and ASD) and he needed the sensation to feel exactly even on the left and right side of his head before he could relax. During school today we were giving examples of synonyms. We had to give exactly 4 synonyms for each word, no more or less. Poor guy. I know what real OCD looks like.

 

That said, I can tolerate and even joke about OCD. I know that the vast majority of the time, it's used improperly. I choose to give sympathy and caring to my fellow humans. It's what I would want for my son, acceptance and kindness even when his multiple conditions aren't fully understood. It's the only way I can live with myself. There is enough hate in the world. It honestly doesn't take much effort to be kind to people, despite all the idiosyncrasies.

 

Sorry if that sounds too preachy.

[Catwoman]

Some background...my 10yo ds was in our hallway 20 minutes ago banging his head repeatedly on the wall. He has OCD (and Tourette's and ASD) and he needed the sensation to feel exactly even on the left and right side of his head before he could relax. During school today we were giving examples of synonyms. We had to give exactly 4 synonyms for each word, no more or less. Poor guy. I know what real OCD looks like.

 

That said, I can tolerate and even joke about OCD. I know that the vast majority of the time, it's used improperly. I choose to give sympathy and caring to my fellow humans. It's what I would want for my son, acceptance and kindness even when his multiple conditions aren't fully understood. It's the only way I can live with myself. There is enough hate in the world. It honestly doesn't take much effort to be kind to people, despite all the idiosyncrasies.

 

Sorry if that sounds too preachy.

Very well said. Not preachy at all. :)

 

And I hope the people you meet are kind to your son and don't judge him before they get to know what a great kid he is. :grouphug:

[Retired]

well we live in a society that has a syndrome or name for everything and right now normal reaction to just plain  grieve or stress someone will say its pTSd

 

My dad had PTSD after 2 tours in Nam.  He had flashback if you woke him by touch.  He would snap with certain sounds.  I could describe my childhood and now days it would be consider a unsafe home or abusive.

 

WHat it was a young man 19 first tour and 21 second and saw and did unimaginable things then he gets discharge with and suppose to act like it never happen.  HE drank excessively trying to deal.  He check out mentally at times.    My mom had unimaginable  physical and sexual abuse as a child.  She use to space out and be angry a lot. 

 

There is a generation of Vietnam that never got help.  SO many suicide or death by drugs/alcohol

 

We no more we are so connected but guess  what we are still loosing our young men and women to the dang Afgan/Iraq war. 

 

SO I have heard people saying they have PTSD cause Trump won.   Seriously :huh: 

 

 

[Mergath]

well we live in a society that has a syndrome or name for everything and right now normal reaction to just plain  grieve or stress someone will say its pTSd

 

My dad had PTSD after 2 tours in Nam.  He had flashback if you woke him by touch.  He would snap with certain sounds.  I could describe my childhood and now days it would be consider a unsafe home or abusive.

 

WHat it was a young man 19 first tour and 21 second and saw and did unimaginable things then he gets discharge with and suppose to act like it never happen.  HE drank excessively trying to deal.  He check out mentally at times.    My mom had unimaginable  physical and sexual abuse as a child.  She use to space out and be angry a lot. 

 

There is a generation of Vietnam that never got help.  SO many suicide or death by drugs/alcohol

 

We no more we are so connected but guess  what we are still loosing our young men and women to the dang Afgan/Iraq war. 

 

SO I have heard people saying they have PTSD cause Trump won.   Seriously :huh:

 

Something which, if you wish to discuss, should be taken to one of the political social groups.

 

[Liz CA]

I can't say anything about the woman OP described but I do wonder sometimes if this "Be happy" and "Smile" attitude is backfiring because none of us are happy and smiling all the time. Sometimes we are sad, a little down or hurting. These are normal emotions but many seem to think it represents a condition requiring a name...

[foxbridgeacademy]

Sounds like people are just throwing the term around like they do OCD. I have to have my things in the right place, I am so OCD.. things like that are often said, especially among the younger generation I have noticed. The mental health language is very casually thrown around I think. People also call themselves bit-polar when they have a mood swing, or or manic when they have extra energy.

 

It is interesting how all these mental health phrases are emerging into the general lexicon. On the one hand, it can seem insulting to those really struggling with those issues. On the other hand, I wonder if it signifies a shift towards a greater acceptance of the fact that people have mental health issues. I mean, it was just a generation or two ago that a lot of people wouldn't even speak about mental health issues due to stigma. It seems like the stigma is lessening.

:iagree: This is exactly what I was thinking.  She has gone through a sad and somewhat traumatic experience but doesn't have the language to express it (plus she may have other issues?).  I actually think that it is a move in the right direction, one of acceptance of those who do have mental illness/disorders.  One side effect of that is the trivialization of those truly affected.  

[AimeeM]

This post is disgusting. 

Unless you are a mental health professional and have personally evaluated this woman, you have no right to mock her. And that's all this thread is -- mocking and gossiping and attempting to compare traumas and tragedies.