Mentioning kids in blog posts

[mom of 2 boys]

Hi there, I am wondering about something. To what extent do you think it is appropriate to mention children on a blog? I have a blog that I do not write in because my life basically revolves around my kids and I do not want to disrespect their privacy. I have thought about changing their names, or keeping it at "my older/younger son", but I'm never quite sure what is appropriate. I have also considered just writing about surface level topics, like curriculum reviews, but then I know what is going to happen - I'm going to sit there debating whether or not the topic I want to write about is surface level enough, and get stuck again. What is your opinion on this matter? Thanks!

[Schadenfreude]

I think it depends on you and your children. Social media is outlawed in my house until they are 18 and have graduated high school. I only post things with their permission and try to stay vague. They approve of every post about them BEFORE I post it. They have all thanked me for it. My children learn by making mistakes. Having all their mistakes follow them through life even when they have grown passed them would be unbearable to them. Your children may be different.

[maize]

I used to have a homeschool blog, I used made-up names for the kids

Edited December 18, 2016 by maize

[HomeAgain]

I use nicknames, and I only post things they would enjoy reading.  If it hurts them, or embarrasses them, then it's not worth it. 

[MyLife]

My five and seven year old do NOT like for me to post pics of them on FB. I respect their wishes. I would see how your kids feel about it.

[38carrots]

I used to blog, but I don't anymore, for the same reason--my life revolves around them, and I won't write about them on the Internet. Even if I don't mention their names, I feel it will still be violating their privacy. It will be on-line potentially forever. Many won't agree, but this absolutely doesn't feel right to me. Psychological effects are still unknown and could be far reaching. I've met children who are very aware they are blogged about. I'm not sure that's healthy. On the other hand, some children don't know they are being blogged about, but they will invariably find out. Even if the blogging is exclusively positive, in the parent's eyes, we still don't know how this is going to affect those children in the present and in the future.

 

I recently googled the name of a mom I used to know when our kids were babies. Her long defunct blog came up, with the firs entry being, " M. is still constipated." Followed by all the details of their months long strugles with constipation. This girl is now 15. Her name and mom's full name is associated witht his blog.

 

 

 

[catz]

I don't have a functional blog at the moment, but when I did, I kept the whole thing anonymous and vague and didn't intentionally share it with the world.  I used made up nicknames to refer to individual kids.

 

On social media I only post generally positive stuff about my kids.  Like photos at recitals, activities, holidays, vacations etc with information.  It's more like a living photo album for me.  If my kids asked me to stop sharing entirely, I would.  I think some of my relatives might cry though - lol.

[mom of 2 boys]

My five and seven year old do NOT like for me to post pics of them on FB. I respect their wishes. I would see how your kids feel about it.

 

My kids are only 2 and 5. Of course my 2 year old doesn't know what the internet is, but I don't think that my 5 year old really understands it well enough yet either. So, I think it's more a question of how they would feel in the future. 

[Garga]

I used to blog and called them BoyAge: Boy7, Boy11.

 

Now that they're older I don't write about them very much at all. I don't do the blog anymore and I ask them for permission before writing about them on FB. Sometimes they say no and I don't post.

 

When I blogged, I tried my best to put them in a good light. They like to go back and reread my blog posts and they've never been upset with anything I've written about them. My blog was a humorous blog and I was careful not to poke fun, but simply to tell funny stories.

Edited December 18, 2016 by Garga

[The Girls' Mom]

Former blogger here too.  As my kids have become young adults, they value their privacy more and more.  They also value colleges and prospective employers not being able to learn more about them than they need to know.  I've never blogged anything negative, but I have shut down anything personal. 

 

To do over again, I wouldn't have anything about them in any blog.  They didn't choose it, and I don't feel that it is right for me to choose it for them.  If I wrote, it would be anonymously...my name would be a pen name as well.

[Scarlett]

My ds is 16 and he doesn't want me to post any pic of him on social media.  Really I think he goes overboard but I do try to honor his request.  

[Bluegoat]

As far as social media, I pretty much only post family pics, accomplishments, things I figure family members will be interested in.  Even in places I know are closed to a certain group of people - I feel like its just wrong to talk to people about my kids personal stuff much, or my dh, for that matter.

 

I might write about things like curricula and how it worked for us, in a fairly impersonal way.  Like a review.

 

I don't think this is just an internet thing - I've read lots of print media in magazines that I felt was probably pretty embarrassing for the kids.

[Hen]

I used to blog, my world also revolved around the kids, so I couldn't imagine not talking about them on the blog.  I made fake names for them and didn't have the blog associated with our last name or the city where we live.  I tried to not post embarrassing things, and as they got into teen years, it was more common to post photos of them walking away from me.  They liked my blogging, but I have gotten too busy to keep it up.  I did not want the blog tied to their names in any way, that would be unfair of me, in my opinion. 

[Butter]

I blog and I use the kids' real names.  I've been blogging almost 11 years now.  The kids sometimes ask me to post things I wasn't planning on posting.  They've never asked me not to post something, but if it would be embarrassing or weird for a friend, significant other, or boss to read in the future, it wouldn't go on the blog.  They love it.  Of course my kids are also tossing around the idea of starting a YouTube channel...

[Rebecca]

I also blog. I only post content that they would want to remember. I post with their permission (older ones). My blog has been very important for our family. I also post on Instagram.

 

I have thought about this often/ a lot. I still blog.

 

We have a large family and blogs written by mom's with large families are hard to find. I want to be a voice.

[LMD]

I blog, but I don't use photos of them, or their names, or my real name.

I blog about school stuff we've done but nothing personal about them.

My blog is more of a connection spot for homeschoolers in our area, so there's general homeschool philosophy/community stuff and what we've been up to stuff...

 

Eta- I'm not on fb or anything else and have a blanket no photos on the internet rule so the internet footprint is pretty light.

Edited December 18, 2016 by LMD

[SereneHome]

Well, I am weird and paranoid.  I do not post pics of my kids anywhere, I don't mention their names anywhere.  I probably shouldn't even mention their age, but it helps to have it on here.  I don't post ANYTHING about my or my family's life anywhere on the internet.  I just don't.  I would like to pretend that we still have a little bit of privacy left

[Guest]

I'm another used-to-blog-er that quit for this reason. I initially moved to JUST talking about myself, but then I started thinking about how even that reflects on them. If life were sunshine, I'd probably feel OK chatting into the void, as it were, about myself. But it's not, so.

 

I do communicate deeply and honestly online, but in hidden little alcoves of the internet. Not on a blog which by its nature can take on a life/audience of its own. And certainly not on FB.

[FaithManor]

I do not blog. If I did, I would not talk about the kids much. Maybe a brief mention of so and so left for college today (no identfying info) or our family vacation to the Badlands was amazing and then talk about the Badlands. That kind of thing.

 

I don't use names here or our home town or enough descriptors to pin down our location. As for social media, I have a facebook account but my friends list is 8 out of town relatives and four WTM hivers I trust. Security is set so no one can see my wall except friends, and I do not use my real middle or last name or location. My profile pic is artwork.

 

I do have to administrate the rocket team facebook page. But I have media releases from the parents, do not use last names, and all the talk is of their work/project/accomplishments...nothing to be upset about as this information is also often highlighted in local newspaper articles.

 

I am not a fan of parentd who sacrifice their children's privacy for online notoriety or attention.

[kewb]

I used to blog about homeschooling for my mom. As the kids reached high school age I blogged less as it felt like a violation of their privacy.

[Jaz]

I blogged for 2 years with just first names/no location information, but stopped after hearing about young adults who wished their parents hadn't put information about them online. We now keep off all social media. Our dc can use it when they're 18.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Most bloggers I know don't really put their kids names out there, but either go with made up names or code names. Since my blog niche is moms rather than kids, I don't run into the problem too often. But because my blog is called SpunkyMoms, I just call my kids Spunky Kid #1, etc.

 

My kids are at the ages where privacy is kind of important, so I only really post pictures on my public Instagram that's attached to my blog with their permission, and I don't refer by name.

 

It really comes down to your comfort level. Never violate your comfort level.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I blog and I use the kids' real names.  I've been blogging almost 11 years now.  The kids sometimes ask me to post things I wasn't planning on posting.  They've never asked me not to post something, but if it would be embarrassing or weird for a friend, significant other, or boss to read in the future, it wouldn't go on the blog.  They love it.  Of course my kids are also tossing around the idea of starting a YouTube channel...

 

My youngest wants a YouTube channel someday so she can do sewing tutorials and rake in advertising money  :lol:

[Farrar]

I don't put my kids' real names on my blog, mostly because I don't want kindergarten projects to one day be the first thing that turns up if a college admissions person or HR person did a search once they're adults. It's like semi-anonymity, though you could figure out their real names and so forth with some small time sleuthing and I'm not too paranoid about it.

 

I figure things when they were really little isn't such a big deal. I do ask them to be sure now that they're in middle school. They're generally okay with it all though. I have cut back on the cute but embarrassing stories a LOT, both on blogs and on Facebook, though my FB settings are such that they're not viewable, still.

 

I really appreciate that some bloggers keep doing some honest blogging about the middle school and high school years. It's just useful to me to read. I don't think it has to be airing your dirty laundry, but this forum is public too. Saying, my kid struggled with this so we moved to that. My kid is driving me crazy, he did this, he's wonderful at that but I don't know if he'll ever love math, etc. etc. I know some people aren't comfortable with it, but I think hearing about other parent and homeschool journeys is nice.

[SKL]

I think that as I get older, I like the idea less and less.  Anything funny / noteworthy enough to put on a blog has the potential to embarrass or annoy the kid someday.  Even if they give permission, they may not realize the future implications.  Anonymity is not guaranteed.

 

An exception may be for special needs kids whose stories could help other parents.  Even then, I would keep it respectful of the child.

 

ETA:  I realize this might seem a bit hypocritical as I talk about my kids' issues on here sometimes.  I will say I'm not totally comfortable with that all the time either.

Edited December 18, 2016 by SKL

[Alice]

I blog but fairlly infrequently. From the beginning I've used fake names for the kids. I know someone could figure out who they are but it's not like if they google my kids' name my blog will come up. I just tried googling my own name and my blog doesn't come up on a search. I post about them, but like others I've gotten so I post less specifics as they've gotten older. From the beginning I've tried to avoid anything negative or embarrassing. If on occasion I write about homeschooling being less than perfect, I write about it from my own struggles and not anything kid specific. So I might say that homeschooling works better when I'm consistent as a teacher. But I won't say that Kid X is struggling with Y. 

 

Some general guidelines for me:

*Remember it's public and treat is like it's not anonymous. So if I am posting a story I think about if I would be comfortable telling this story in a group setting where people in the group knew my kids. If I wouldn't tell it because I think it might embarrass them I won't tell it on the blog. 

 

*Be general and not specific. 

 

*Don't be negative. I wrote a post once about that. I talked about how I think the modern tendency to be "real" often equates to being negative. "I'm going to show how real we are so here is a photo of my messy house. Or a story about how I yelled at my kids. Or about my kid's struggles with x or y. Etc." I'm honest about the fact that I'm not going to be completely honest. I think about everything I write if I would mind them reading it in 10 years or 20 years. I don't mind if they know that parenting isn't always easy but I don't want them to read it and feel like I was unhappy.