Does your high schooler work?

[Sherri in MI]

My 17 yo son (rising 12th grader) has a part time job since last September.  I have such mixed feelings about it and wondered how other families handle it.  How do college bound students keep up with their school work, get good grades and do extra-curriculars and prep for ACT/SAT and take dual enrollment courses, and pursue music, sports, etc and stay active at church and spend time with friends and have some fun.

 

So, what about your teen & family.  Do they/did they have a job?  How did it impact your family?  How did you make it work?  What things did you or your teen give up?

 

We've been giving up family time together on weeknights and Saturdays.

 

This leads me to another question - do all college students work p/t and how do they pull it off and still keep up with school, extra-curriculars, and personal life?  (I never went to college the traditional route).

 

 

[J-rap]

All of my kids worked throughout their high school years.  That said, they all had employers who were very understanding of busy teens, and were very flexible with scheduling.  So during swim season, for example, my kids would sometimes take off work for 3-4 months, or just work special events.  During the rest of the school year we were careful to make sure they could handle everything.  They didn't work a lot of hours, just enough for spending money, really.  (10 hours or so/week)  They really didn't need much spending money.  Then in the summer they'd work longer hours.

 

In college, they work/worked part-time hours that fit into their schedule, and full-time in the summers.  (Except one ds who worked full time while going to school full time.)

[Mom22ns]

I had one that did and one that didn't.

 

My dd had a great job at a pharmacy (she plans to be a nurse so this was very relevant experience). The was able to set a maximum number of hours that she was willing to work per week (usually around 20) and she loved the independence and money that having a job provided.

 

Ds has multiple LDs. When he is in school, school is all he can handle. School takes a great deal more time for him than for most kids and he needs mental recuperation time as well. He could never have successfully worked and gone to school. However, now, he has found some online work (tutoring, transcription, search engine evaluation) that can be done with a flexible schedule. He doesn't work much or make much money, but it does give him that same feeling of independence. 

[LisaKinVA]

I worked nearly FT as a teen (both in high school and in college).  Essentially, I didn't do much else.  Social life and "fun" was squeezed in where I could get it.  So -- I'm trying to keep things a bit lighter for my kids.  I was so burned out with school and work after 5 years, I just wanted to be done and start enjoying life.

 

My oldest is 16.  He is a lifeguard and teaches swim lessons.  Right now, he's just doing swim lessons (about 2 hours a week, with one kid).  That's also due more to my schedule.  However, this fall, it is possible he'll work one or two shifts each week at the pool (about 10-15 hours).  Basically, enough to have some spending money, but not enough to truly interfere with anything else in his life (school, swimming & scouts).  It means he can't goof off during school time.  It means he really has to stay focused on the tasks that must get done and learn how to prioritize.  

 

In college, I'm hoping he doesn't have to work more than about 15 hours a week, either (again, mostly for spending money -- not for actual school costs).  Beginning summer 2017, I expect he'll work close to full time as a Lifeguard, and again the summer after his senior year (unless he goes to USNA, in which case...he won't have much free time after he graduates).

 

That said, school comes first.  If he can't find work/life/school balance, something will have to give until he can.  This is a life skill that has to be learned -- if he can't balance 15 hours of work, school, and social life/gaming/LEGO/whatever as a 16/17/18 year old, I'm not sure he'll be able to handle it his freshman year away from home, either.  

[Mosaicmind]

Yep! We have 7 and we just graduated the 5th kid. All 5 started working before they could drive, their choice not ours, but we were fine with it. Four of them went to public high school in addition to working 20hrs a week and all of their extracurricular activities; they all played high school soccer.

 

We encouraged them to get jobs because we don't pay for car insurance, cell phones, or other extras that they might want. They are also in charge of getting their own HBA stuff, clothes, and shoes once they start working. We do pay for these things during soccer season when they aren't able to work as much.

 

This has worked for us and we just explain to them up front our expectations, so nothing is a surprise.

[wendyroo]

When I was in high school, my parents always figured that I should be spending about 40 hours of my week on required physical and mental labor...ie. school + my job.  So, when I was putting very little time or effort into school (and still acing my classes), I was working 20ish hours a week.  When I started dual enrollment classes I dropped down to 10-15 hours a week.  During one busy semester when I was taking a full load of college classes and three hours daily of machine shop at the high school, I was only managing 5-10 hours of work a week.

 

Everything else...music, sports, volunteering, friends, family commitments, sleep, etc...had to be fit into my free time.

 

Wendy

[EKS]

My son worked part time during his senior year at a place that was *very* flexible with his hours.  He had enough time because he was taking all of his courses at the CC, so the in-class time was much less that it would have been at a high school.

[Kassia]

Two of my sons worked part-time in high school.  My third did not because he participated in sports and didn't have time for a job.  Two worked part-time worked in college.  The other didn't - he has ASD and I think it would be too much for him.  He is fortunate to have a job at home that takes him back during breaks.  

 

I do expect my youngest to work part-time when she's old enough.  She's 13 now and volunteers at the library.

 

ETA - my kids all did very well academically even with working and taking challenging courseloads.  As far as family time, only one job really impacted that because it was a retail job in high school and the employer was open on holidays.  

 

 

Edited July 8, 2016 by ebh87

[SparklyUnicorn]

Mine is 14, but that is all he talks about.  Getting a job.  I would be fine with it so long as he keeps up with school work.  It's pretty sucky to not have money.

 

 

[regentrude]

My DS started working in summer after 9th grade and has been working for the same company for two years. During the school year he works from 2-5pm on two or three afternoons per week.

He is also an athlete and trains four evenings/week and on Saturday mornings. He is very busy, but has time to see friends and girlfriend.

We have adjusted school work to accommodate job and sports, because I see how much he has matured and grown through his job. I see it as a valuable learning experience and am happy to make room for it in our school schedule.

 

ETA: Family time in the evening and on weekends is a thing of the past. His athletic career has top priority for DS, and training is in the evenings. We still spend time together, we eat a family meal every day at lunch time, and have family time when we travel. I see this as one of the natural changes when young people grow up; their need to hang out with the parents diminishes, and other things become more important.

Edited July 9, 2016 by regentrude

[Susie in CA]

ETA: Family time in the evening and on weekends is a thing of the past. His athletic career has top priority for DS, and training is in the evenings. We still spend time together, we eat a family meal every day at lunch time, and have family time when we travel. I see this as one of the natural changes when young people grow up; their need to hang out with the parets diminishes, and other things become more important.

 

 

I totally agree with Regentrude. I just wanted to say that I sure miss those family times!

[elegantlion]

ds did not work through high school, mainly because we live in a small town where you have to know the right people for teens to get jobs. We didn't know those people as most connections are made through school or church and we did not participate in either. 

 

He also did not work his first year of college because we have to commute to school (I'm also a student). Another factor was that I wanted him to focus solely on college for his first year. 

 

We are moving closer to school this summer and I am encouraging him to at least get an on campus job. They don't pay as well, but they are flexible and close. He does not drive yet, so transportation is an issue. He also has a busy schedule for fall which will give him odd breaks on certain days. 

[klmama]

Having a job has been a great thing for my high school students.  The experience has helped them mature, and the skills learned there have transferred well to other endeavors.  I'm not preparing my dc to live at home the rest of their lives, so giving up some family time so they can work and be involved in extracurricular activities in the evenings is not a problem.  We just spend time together when we can, which often means late at night.  It's fine. 

[Pawz4me]

No, not really.

 

While in high school oldest DS always participated in sports that had required practices throughout the summer, and he also did volunteer activities that took up a good chunk of time. Last year (between his freshman and sophomore years in college) he had two part-time paid internships that between them amounted to a full 40 hour work week. We are adamant about him NOT working during his school year.

 

Youngest DS is dealing with some significant anxiety issues since last year and is waiting on an ASD evaluation. Sometimes I think having a part-time summer job (again, NOT during his school year) would be good for him, but around here it's really hard for teens to find flexible jobs. Most want them to be able to commit to being available to work at any time (i.e., anytime from 5:00 a.m. until 2:00 a.m., seven days a week). And DH and I don't think that would be in DS's best interests at the moment.

[Garga]

This is encouraging. DS can get a job at a local business when he turns 14. He's counting down the time until he's old enough so he can go try out for the job. Two people who have worked there will sort of give him a reference. It's hard to give a reference for someone who has never had a job, but at least they can vouch that he's not a troublemaker. We'll all have to wait and see what kind of employee he'll be. :)

 

I think it will be good for him but I wasn't sure until reading this. I'll be working very closely with him this year on how to schedule his time and how handle more responsibilities. I'm hopeful things will work out well.

[rlestina]

That's lucky!  Mine have had major problems finding employers who will hire 14 year olds.  Most want at least 15 if not 16.

 

My oldest has had a part time job at a local restaurant since she turned 15, about a year and half now.  It has been very good for her - she only works about 10 hours a week, like many others said, but she likes the spending money, and the responsibilities that go with a "real job" have definitely helped her mature.

 

My twins just turned 14, got their work permits, and have been job hunting, but almost everywhere says they must be 15 or 16 before they will even be considered.  Frustrating, because they both really want to work.

[Kassia]

 

 

My twins just turned 14, got their work permits, and have been job hunting, but almost everywhere says they must be 15 or 16 before they will even be considered.  Frustrating, because they both really want to work.

 

 

My daughter will be 14 in August and really wants a job, but there is nothing available because she's too young.  So frustrating.  She does volunteer.

[Mosaicmind]

That's lucky!  Mine have had major problems finding employers who will hire 14 year olds.  Most want at least 15 if not 16.

 

My oldest has had a part time job at a local restaurant since she turned 15, about a year and half now.  It has been very good for her - she only works about 10 hours a week, like many others said, but she likes the spending money, and the responsibilities that go with a "real job" have definitely helped her mature.

 

My twins just turned 14, got their work permits, and have been job hunting, but almost everywhere says they must be 15 or 16 before they will even be considered.  Frustrating, because they both really want to work.

Here, if you are 14 you can work bussing tables, bagging groceries, delivering papers, and Sonic will hire 14 year olds. We don't live in a large city either but we are in a southern state and it's easier to get a job at 14 in southern states, from our personal experience with living in different states and having working teens.

[Mosaicmind]

My daughter will be 14 in August and really wants a job, but there is nothing available because she's too young. So frustrating. She does volunteer.

My kids started delivering papers at 13 and made almost $500/month with tips. We did that for 3 years until I just couldn't get up at 4am every morning and drive around for an hour and a half.

 

Now, my 14 year old can bus tables, bag groceries, and work at Sonic. There's also summer farm work, mowing lawns, house and dog sitting for people during vacations, leaf raking in the fall, snow removal in the winter, delivering flyers and phonebooks, and other odd jobs for neighbors.

 

This next week, my son's who still homeschool age 14 and 16, we are going to make a simple flyer to pass out to neighbors in our subdivision and the one behind us about the boys doing dog sitting/housesitting, mowing, and dog walking. My oldest daughter still dog/house sits and makes anywhere from $7-10 per day. She is so good and has made a name for herself that before the summer had even begun she was booked up. She put herself thru college doing this and now she's doing it on top of her full time job to save for a car so she won't have a car payment.

[Mosaicmind]

Just curious. How did they get past the online part? My 19yo has applied to several fast food chains and nothing. We live int he south as well.

IF they did an online application, they called right after they finished and talked to the person hiring to let them know they just finished the online application. Then two days later they went in person and introduced themselves and let them know they wanted a job. A week later they would call just to let them know they were still looking for a job.

 

If at all possible don't do an online application. Go into the place of business first to see if they have a physical application to fill out. All of my kids who worked at CFA and Pizza Hut never did an online app. One of my son's just got a job at PH yesterday because he physically went in and filled out an application and got an on the spot interview and the job. The manager says that kids these days fill out the online app and don't follow up or even come in to show they are interested, and he said that they will not get the job.

 

Now, my two kids working at Kroger could only fill out an online app but they both called right after and then went into the store to talk personally to the person hiring so that they could put a face with a name.

 

Go that extra step and show the potential employer that you want the job.

[SparklyUnicorn]

My kids started delivering papers at 13 and made almost $500/month with tips. We did that for 3 years until I just couldn't get up at 4am every morning and drive around for an hour and a half.

 

Now, my 14 year old can bus tables, bag groceries, and work at Sonic. There's also summer farm work, mowing lawns, house and dog sitting for people during vacations, leaf raking in the fall, snow removal in the winter, delivering flyers and phonebooks, and other odd jobs for neighbors.

 

This next week, my son's who still homeschool age 14 and 16, we are going to make a simple flyer to pass out to neighbors in our subdivision and the one behind us about the boys doing dog sitting/housesitting, mowing, and dog walking. My oldest daughter still dog/house sits and makes anywhere from $7-10 per day. She is so good and has made a name for herself that before the summer had even begun she was booked up. She put herself thru college doing this and now she's doing it on top of her full time job to save for a car so she won't have a car payment.

 

My 14 year old wants a job too, but really none of these things are available here.  No paper routes (although I would not allow that).  No farms.  Nobody has yards.   Zero experience with dogs.  No leaf raking.  Snow removal...back to the nobody has yards and nobody wants to pay someone to shovel the tiny strip of sidewalk in front (if there even is that).  Phone book routes are massive so you need a vehicle.  I wouldn't know my neighbors if I hit them with my car. 

 

No stores and no restaurants around here will hire anyone under 16.  When he turns 16, which isn't not so far away, he'll have WAY more options.  There are tons and tons of stores and they are all on the bus line.  It's just now, forget it.  There is nothing. 

 

I suggested he knuckles down and gets better at Andriod programming and tries his hand at making apps. 

[Mosaicmind]

He went into all of the places first. Then he filled in the online app because they said he had to. Then he went back again...some places 3 different times.

I don't have any other suggestions. I would be happy to pray for him, if you don't mind. Our family has been blessed to have our kids get jobs fairly easily. One thing I've always told my kids is that when you first start working for someone, you don't limit your days or times because then you are less likely to get a job. Also, be open to work in any position. When our kids have been working 3 months or 90 days, then if they want to ask for Wednesday's off or every other Sunday this would be a good time to ask about that. My son, who just graduated, was looking for a new job after graduation and he was having a hard time finding anything. Come to find out, he had put all of these limits on days and hours, which meant that no employer was even willing to interview him.

[Mosaicmind]

We have something in common. My son who graduated wants to be a youth minister and has been leading small groups, giving the sermon, and doing other leadership things this last year. He's not going to college just yet because he's going to Africa for 6 months to be the youth pastor at a church there that's run by missionaries. This job plus another one is how he's saving up to go in January.

[Mosaicmind]

Cool. Btw, he wants to be a pastor not a youth pastor. How cool for your son!

Yes. My son will probably get his MDiv anyway so that if he feels like he'd like to be a lead minister he can without going back to school. My father-in-law got his MDiv from Wheaton and was a Navy Chaplain and then was an E-Free minister for over 20 years.

[Pawz4me]

Wow. My mind is boggled that there are jobs anywhere in the U.S. for kids to deliver papers or bag groceries. I thought both of those things had gone the way of the dinosaurs. They have here. I don't know a single person who still gets a paper, and I can't think of a single store that hires baggers.

[Mosaicmind]

I'm glad I still live somewhere that delivers papers and hires courtesy clerks. I don't live in the boondocks either, so it's not that. Where we used to live, in a major college community, we delivered papers and had courtesy clerks. If you have a Kroger, Pay Less, or the like then you have baggers. If you live anywhere that gets the Wall Street Journal or New York Times, like us, then you still have people who deliver and get the paper. They haven't gone away, thank God!

[Pawz4me]

I'm glad I still live somewhere that delivers papers and hires courtesy clerks. I don't live in the boondocks either, so it's not that. Where we used to live, in a major college community, we delivered papers and had courtesy clerks. If you have a Kroger, Pay Less, or the like then you have baggers. If you live anywhere that gets the Wall Street Journal or New York Times, like us, then you still have people who deliver and get the paper. They haven't gone away, thank God!

 

Oh I know quite a few people who get those (including us). But online.

[Carrie12345]

I worked through much of high school, did a lot of volunteer work, and still had plenty of time with friends and family.

BUT, my course load was mostly 90s college prep, not AP, and only a rare honors class here and there.  I didn't study,  I rarely did homework outside of class, and I pulled a B average.  It wasn't super competitive, and school let out at 2:00. (ETA: and I lived down the street.  No long commute.)

Edited July 11, 2016 by Carrie12345

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm glad I still live somewhere that delivers papers and hires courtesy clerks. I don't live in the boondocks either, so it's not that. Where we used to live, in a major college community, we delivered papers and had courtesy clerks. If you have a Kroger, Pay Less, or the like then you have baggers. If you live anywhere that gets the Wall Street Journal or New York Times, like us, then you still have people who deliver and get the paper. They haven't gone away, thank God!

 

Right, but these subscriptions tend to be very spread out since fewer people get the paper anymore.  A lot of routes have been turned huge and can now only be done by someone with a car.

 

Growing up I had routes, but it was the opposite.  Few people didn't get the paper so I could have a route of 40-50 all in a condensed walkable distance. 

 

I said I wouldn't allow it because on Sunday the routes aren't doable without help and I do not want to help.  But the bigger issue for me is safety.  I had issues as a kid with the routes including some guy naked in his car harassing me.  I just don't want to have to worry about that. 

[Prairie~Phlox]

My kids have worked from the time they were about 14.  Currently dd 18 is a cashier supervisor at a local greenhouse, she's worked for them for three years seasonally, they love her and she has learned SO much.  They really see the hardworking ethics my kids have.  My 16 year old son works for them as well, last year as a cashier and this year in the greenhouse as a runner and now in maintenance, of the high school kids working, he knows the most, he had learned a lot working with my dh on vehicles and just in general when he used to be a contractor.  Our recently turned 15 year old son has been working on my dad's farm and staying with them (they live an hour away)  None of my kids are in sports and during the summer focus on work.  It's real life lessons that they are learning and that's what I think is most important. 

 

 

[teachermom2834]

My 18 yo never worked during high school. He was a serious athlete and a good student but school does not come easy. Concentrating on his school and good ACT scores netted him far more in scholarships than any part time job would have yielded financially. He did get a full time job immediately upon graduation. While he could not have a job in high school I did feel like it was an experience he needed before college.

 

Next ds just finished 10th grade and got a traditional teen part time job. He expects to continue during the school year as he is not a serious athlete and has fewer extracurricular commitments. His employer will be flexible around dual enrollment schedule and he can work many hours over breaks.

 

I will say that having teens working and contributing financially (even by just taking care of small things for themselves) is awesome! They are gaining confidence and life skills. Whether or not a teen should work during high school depends on the kid but it can be a very good thing for some, particularly those that just respond better to outside expectations/validation. My younger boy is one that always needs to learn things for himself and see how things are out in the world. Working is great for him.

[BlsdMama]

So we're fairly new at the experience.

 

 DD (20) did NOT work through high school nor through the first year of college.  She's very academic and pulled excellent grades that first year.  She detassled (field work) over the summer and made enough to buy a car. Last year she worked (20-30 hours a week) through the school year.  Grades were still solid but not as good as freshman year.  She is working 40-50 hours a week through this summer but not doing any classes.  Her goal is to save as much $$$ as possible and go back to 24ish hours during the school year.

 

I think having a job made her more productive and more capable of juggling.  She was overwhelmed her freshman year (w/o working) and I think if we had had her work her senior year, it would have been beneficial for her.  Her only extracurricular was music and her only outside class was Russian I & II her senior year.

 

DS (17) takes 3-4 classes each semester at the CC and does work.  He also detassled last year and is again this year.  His goal is to work as much as possible this summer so he works as little as possible during mock season.  We pay for school gas but going out to eat with friends and "fun" gas are all his.  During mock season he has practice three days during the week and then scrimmages on Saturday - it leaves VERY little time for work at all with college classes.  So his goal is work hard all summer so he can "survive" off of 5-10 hours of work during the week. ;)   It could be his personality but because he does so much more (mock, Trail Life, the internship, CC) he is a much better "juggler" with his time and better able to handle it.  His grades have been excellent so no complaints here. 

 

Both of our kids work at the same place.  They are closed on Sundays and respect their "availability" hours.  It works well for us.  The closed on Sundays (church for them and family time spent together) has been really important to us as a family.  They are just out of the house SO much, it's nice when they have the same day off and the same as Dad, kwim?

 

Our next child (14) is eager to begin working but that won't happen this year.  She'll detassle when she's 15 & 16 - save up for a car like her sibs did and then work (same place) when she's a junior assuming she is as diligent as they are about school work.  She thrives on busy-ness so I think she'll do well and we'll encourage it as well.  

 

 

I was very adamant about kids NOT working during high school and even the first bit of college.  HOWEVER, I have changed my stance on it.  Assuming they can keep their grades up,  I think starting work earlier (prior to college) is wise.  It just seems to make them better at shuffling and coping with a hectic schedule.

[Tita Gidge]

I have high schoolers in both public high school and at home school. They all work, but it's largely non-traditional or seasonal jobs.

 

They don't work at say, a restaurant or retail place on a regular schedule. They ump baseball and ref soccer during the season, offer private lessons during season, camps off-season, and have odd jobs in between (like garage sales, pet sitting, etc) The flexibility keeps work from interfering too much with school.

 

In my culture, the student's job is to be a student. The parents typically fund everything, mostly things they (parents) want their kids to do. I'm trying to work with my kids in the culture they're being raised around, which is so different.  My compromise is that they can work but it's considered an extra curricular that can't/won't interfere with family time or school. And I don't want them on a regular schedule somewhere like a restaurant or retail during high school; they have to create their own jobs because their primary job is to be a good student.