Gwenny Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have a 13 year old and a 10 year old and am expecting a new baby. After talking to another mother today at the park with kids a similar age, and hearing how terrible it was to have a new baby, I need to hear some good things about starting back over with another baby at this point. When I was expecting my first two kids, I heard mostly positive comments. Now that I'm old (38) and have much older kids, I hear so much negative! Everyone feels the need to share the horrible things that happened to their friends and relatives when they had kids at my age. You'd think I was nearly in the grave. Here I was thinking it would be great to have a little one again, and everyone keeps trying to burst my bubble. Surely it can't be all bad? Quote
Jaybee Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 It's amazing--nothing like the first child (which is also amazing, of course). You can actually get a complete shower without having to rush through it, because the older kids are so happy to hold the baby. In our case, they read to him, entertained him, played with him--and I fed him. I didn't pass him off onto them, but they just loved him so much that I got a lot more breaks than with the kids who were more clumped together. I was a lot more relaxed and comfortable as a mom, as well. Enjoy your little one! Oh, and I was almost 3 years older than you. 8 Quote
Guest Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Congratulations!! I have almost 9 years between #1 and 2 and wow did it make my life easier. While she wasn't one to dote she would still help me out and watch him so I could run to the bathroom or shower as mentioned above. Her friends absolutely ADORED him. My friends with kids the age of my oldest were enthralled because no one else had a baby so I had many helpful fawning people who weren't bogged down trying to survive with their own babies. I thought it was so great I immediately got pregnant again. Dd is really a blessing. I cannot imagine having Irish twins without her. I think the gap is a blessing. And being older I enjoyed baby hood more instead of being so excited to move to the next thing. Seriously- hugs and happiness. This will be great. :) Quote
redsquirrel Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 my kids are 5 years apart and I know people with a 10 year age gap between kids. My experience has been the same as that of people with a bigger age gap. The biggest benefit I have seen is a lack of sibling rivalry. The older kids adore the baby right away and are very understanding when your time is divided. It is perfect? No, of course not. It does take some adjusting for everyone, but there is sooooo much less drama around the new baby. And I am so, so happy that we homeschooled. My two boys have such a close relationship because they had all those years at home together. I can see that had my older boy been enrolled in public school they would have been strangers. They would have had very separate lives due to the age spread. I am just now coming to terms with the fact that in 2 years my eldest is off to college and younger will be finishing 7th grade. The younger boy will be heartbroken. Quote
HomeAgain Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 It's not all bad. Most of it's pretty good. :) My kids are nearly 11 years apart. We call them 'two only children' because in essence that's what they are. They are so far apart they don't share toys or a room, they don't fight over friends, and they're at completely different stages. The oldest is a pretty good babysitter as well. ;) Other advantages we've found are-only one in diapers at a time. -a nice break to recover from potty training -only paying for one's college tuition per decade -getting to go on all the good rides and still having an excuse to ride the train for an hour around the park -getting to buy all new baby stuff (and knowing what you really need this time around) -less car seats. Whew! -not having to make that wrenching decision to get rid of outgrown, but very loved toys. By the time the oldest is done, the youngest is ready, by the time the youngest will be done, well, we have to keep for the grandkids, right? It will be good. There will be ups and downs, but goodness..just think of how much fun it'll be again to get to do the little kid stuff and snuggles! 2 Quote
amy g. Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I'm 13 years older than my brother. We have always been close. My sister is 15 years older than him. Both of them are very close to my kids. They don't have children of their own. My oldest is 15 years older than my youngest. They play SIMS together and sleep in the same bed. Yes, my older girls do some care taking, but not parenting of the younger kids just like I did care taking for my younger brother. But now, he is the one who wants to take care of us. He always wants to know what he can do. Can he drive the kids somewhere? Take them to the movies or go bowling? Clean my kitchen? My hope is that when my older kids have their own children, my younger children will be just the right age to help them and pay back some of the extra love that they have received from their sisters. And when my younger girls have children, maybe my older kids' children will help them. There is one very sad part of the age gap though. And that is the loss when an older child grows up and moves away. It can feel like almost like a divorce to the younger child watching her family shrinking. That was a big reason why I wanted to have TWO caboose babies. I didn't want that last one to feel alone. My son has his own apartment. My oldest is going away for school. My middle daughter is looking at out of state colleges right now. Before we know it, we will have gone from a family of 7 to a family of 4. But it is worth it. I would not change anything about the spread in age of my kids. Congratulations! 4 Quote
Hilltopmom Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Best thing ever! The teens adore the littles & vice versa:). and they help! It was so much fun to have babies again after a long break. The one difficult thing is getting teens to later evening teen activities (when I want the toddlers in bed already- dh mostly stays home & I run the big kids to stuff & get groceries before picking them back up). (I'm 41, our littles are adopted from Foster care) 4 Quote
AnnE-girl Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 My first two were nine and almost seven when Baby Boy was born last fall. I was nervous about the big age difference, but so far, the big kids have been great and our family has adjusted well. I feel like I am enjoying his babyhood so much more because I have the perspective of just how quickly it goes by. I was six weeks shy of 35 when he was born, and I will say that pregnancy, birth, and recovery were a bit easier in my twenties, but it wasn't terrible. 1 Quote
ktgrok Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Best thing ever! The teens adore the littles & vice versa:). and they help! It was so much fun to have babies again after a long break. The one difficult thing is getting teens to later evening teen activities (when I want the toddlers in bed already- dh mostly stays home & I run the big kids to stuff & get groceries before picking them back up). (I'm 41, our littles are adopted from Foster care) yup, best thing EVER!! Seriously, EVERYONE who has a baby should also have at least a 10 year old in the house. For sure. They can bring you a sandwich, let the dog out, watch the baby while you take a shower, etc etc etc. Absolute best thing ever. Only hard part was things like the oldest having sleep overs....I didn't want the older ones waking the baby, so we didn't do many of those. But otherwise, it is awesome. Now my oldest babysits all the time for me, it's just great. Really. 5 Quote
TracyP Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 My last baby was born in January, right before my 36th birthday. There is a 5 year gap to my next youngest and my oldest is 12. It has been fabulous. I can see the big picture with this little guy and I am treasuring every moment. The older kids adore the baby, so I have tons of help. I can enjoy the baby AND get stuff done. He hasn't slowed us down in any way - we went camping this weekend. I feel great and I already lost the baby weight. (Although I still have 20 pounds to lose from the other kids...) I had moments during my pregnancy when I was nervous, but I have only positives to report since he's been born. 1 Quote
Catalytic Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have a 13 year old and a 10 year old and am expecting a new baby. After talking to another mother today at the park with kids a similar age, and hearing how terrible it was to have a new baby, I need to hear some good things about starting back over with another baby at this point. When I was expecting my first two kids, I heard mostly positive comments. Now that I'm old (38) and have much older kids, I hear so much negative! Everyone feels the need to share the horrible things that happened to their friends and relatives when they had kids at my age. You'd think I was nearly in the grave. Here I was thinking it would be great to have a little one again, and everyone keeps trying to burst my bubble. Surely it can't be all bad? I was 38 six and a half years ago, pregnant with my 5th, with 10, 11, 16, and 17 year olds. My 17 turned 18 3 weeks before he was born, my 10 turned 11 exactly a week before. Here's the bad: You're 38. You might be in great shape, you might be feeling your age. I'm feeling my age, I bought my first changing table because changing this baby on the floor wasn't going to happen. That's it, that's all, there is no other bad. (Oh, my 50 year old husband is usually the oldest daddy at school functions :lol: ) The good: Oh, I can't begin to tell you all the good. That baby got/gets SO MUCH LOVE. He is everyone's favorite toy, the brothers and sister get down on the floor when mom and dad can't. (By the same token, he and the 17/18 still fight like cats and dogs, too!) I appreciate every little thing so much more. I cry after every stage is done (yep, I was the one dripping tears in the cafeteria yesterday while he and his classmates sang their "goodbye kindergarten" songs. There isn't/wasn't another little to distract me from catching every little moment. You probably have more money to spoil him/her (boy do we hear it from the older kids about this! And then they go buy him MORE stuff lol) May I just say those people telling you that stuff are jerks? You will be FINE, you're going to love having this baby at this age! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 3 Quote
Gwenny Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 Thank you all!! That's just the kind of thing I needed to hear! I'm so glad to hear not everyone has a terrible time adjusting. 1 Quote
heartlikealion Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) I told myself I didn't want my kids to have a big age gap, but then life happens :) Ds is 8 and dd is 18 months. They love each other and play with each other and mostly enjoy each other's company. Ds always offers to carry the diaper bag and keeps an eye on her in the car while I'm driving. They look so much alike in many photos that we joke they were twins separated by years. It's not all bad, really. My oldest sibling is 8 years older and that wasn't fun for me growing up (felt we had more of a mom/daughter relationship than sister/sister and we didn't get to go to school together), but now that we are older we talk more. Edited June 16, 2016 by heartlikealion Quote
hollyhock Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 My oldest was 11 when youngest was born and the age gap between the last two is 5 years. The two best things about it have already been mentioned but I will say them again: 1) You have tons of help! Everyone wants to hold and entertain the baby and you have lots of people to start a load of laundry, run get a diaper or even cook a simple meal if you need it. And 2) The relationships the olders have with the littlest are so precious. In our family, DD treats each of her big brothers in a different way and it's so interesting to see how they interact. DS14 is like substitute mommy if I'm not around for whatever reason, DS12 is her friend, DS10 is the one she always goes to for help and DS8 is more like a brother - the ones she giggles and fights with. It's fun. Don't worry about it. :) 1 Quote
Catalytic Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 OK, ok, I thought of two negatives. 1. The baby is gonna be spoiled rotten. Just accept that now. 2. You have to share the baby. (Instead of just having to share baby with your partner, now you have to share him/her with the siblings, too. I had moments where I thought I would go crazy until he was back in MY arms.) 2 Quote
BrookValley. Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 My kids are 6 years apart. I can't imagine them being any closer in age (meaning, I think dealing with each baby/toddler stage has been easier than it would have been if eldest wasn't older/as self-sufficient as he is). I did worry that, because of the age gap, they wouldn't have much of a relationship, but they're pretty much inseparable. They play and do everything together. Even when eldest is done playing and retreats to the couch with a book, the toddler grabs a book and snuggles in with him. This sometimes results in eldest abandoning his book to read the picture book to the baby, which, as you can imagine, is really just the best and sweetest thing ever. :001_wub: Oh, and I was about your age with my youngest, too. Anyway, no. It's not all bad. :) Congrats! Quote
TammyS Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Every childbearing situation has it's challenges. But big gap is no worse, just different. And there are advantages, many of which have been pointed out. But let me tell you my favorite: the baby can make you remember why you like your older kid. My baby was born when big brother was 12. Just in time to enter the snotty pre/early teen stage. I didn't really particularly like him for a couple of years. Except, he was so sweet and patient with the baby. This baby just screamed, constantly. I mean, he was a horrible baby. I would get so exhausted and frustrated and just want to sit and cry. But my older son would just take him and walk him up and down the hall. He never got impatient or frustrated. He was always happy to change a diaper. I could see, through all of his snotty middle school age nonsense, that there was still a good and kind person in there. 5 Quote
Tita Gidge Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I had several close in age, then a five year gap. There are pros and cons, as is true of anything. The "baby" is 10 now. The gap really worried me at first. I way overthought it. It's been pretty awesome. One challenge I had was her trying to keep up with the older kids, and getting ticked by her limitations (size, strength, age) - but that's her personality more than any gap. We joke that she's like a Chihuahua who thinks it's a Great Dane. She has also been a great motivator for the older kids. They're very aware that she has them very high on a pedestal and it doesn't take much for them to reconsider their behavior -- they know she's always watching and picking up their habits, good AND poor. This has been the biggest blessing for me! Congratulations on your growing family! :hurray: Quote
teachermom2834 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Mine are now 18, 16, 13, and 8. Eighteen year old is going off to college. Ds 16 is driving, working, dual enrolling, dating, etc. I have thought many times lately how grateful I am for the younger 2. I would be losing it right now if the first two were it. It really struck me all at once that the oldest two are about done and while I am not sentimental at all it has been hard. So, so grateful my nest is not empty yet!! It is different but good. Oldest kid takes youngest out for ice cream or to shop for a present for me. I have had babysitters so it has been so much easier to go to the dentist, doctor, grocery shopping, etc. I actually realized dh and I are losing a babysitter when oldest ds goes to college. We have appreciated having that in house. We extended the magic of Christmas and holidays, etc. a bit longer. My dh has learned over the years and his doing his very best parenting with the youngest. Perspective is great. There are things I am doing differently because I have learned and had time to soften. The youngest is absolutely hysterical. Smart as can be because she was always around older conversation and activities. Also way overexposed from watching TV/movies, listening to popular music that my older ones wouldn't have been allowed to :) 3 Quote
Guest Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Another bonus of being your age and having older kids is you are way past the comparison game so many parents get caught up in with first babies or when you're in your 20's. I couldn't give two figs about playing the "my baby can already do this, what can your baby do" game that was so prevalent with my first. It was very freeing just to smile and nod and not feel a need to respond or rush home and page frantically through the baby's first year book to see if something was wrong. Quote
Guest Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Mine are sixteen years apart and it is wonderful. Congratulations! Quote
Anne in CA Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 My three kids are so far apart they are practically only children. The oldest was twelve when the youngest was born. They love each other more than life itself. Quote
klmama Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 My oldest and youngest are very close, despite the age gap. I was also 38 when youngest was born, and having older dc to help was a major blessing. Everyone doted on the baby. From what I've seen in other families with age gaps, that's very common. Congratulations on adding another little one to your family! 1 Quote
gardenmom5 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have a 13 year old and a 10 year old and am expecting a new baby. After talking to another mother today at the park with kids a similar age, and hearing how terrible it was to have a new baby, I need to hear some good things about starting back over with another baby at this point. When I was expecting my first two kids, I heard mostly positive comments. Now that I'm old (38) and have much older kids, I hear so much negative! Everyone feels the need to share the horrible things that happened to their friends and relatives when they had kids at my age. You'd think I was nearly in the grave. Here I was thinking it would be great to have a little one again, and everyone keeps trying to burst my bubble. Surely it can't be all bad? congratulations 1. that's not a big gap. dudeling was born the year 1dd graduated from college (2dd was a freshman). 2ds was 12 1/2. 2. 38 isn't old, even for a pg mom., I was in my 40s - and dh was in his LATE 50s. he ws often mistaken for grandpa - and thinks it hilarious. I get mistaken for grandma if 1dd is with us. like last halloween . . . . when we were at a pumpkin farm . . . . 'oh, how nice to have three generations'. I wasn't paying attention so it registered late or I would have corrected that. he likes going and having sleepovers at his sisters' houses. can't go to 2dd anymore because she moved to texas. (hmm, gives new meaning to the old expression "gone to texas".) 1ds will come and read to him/put him to bed. (he was a very doting big brother. now lives elsewhere.) there are pros and cons. we have more money and time - but less energy. we did have to occasionally get a babysitter for him while doing things with the older kids that were inappropriate for him. but, built-in babysitters and he is surrounded by adults. he has a very good relationship with his older siblings. they hardest thing was pregnancy hormones and exhaustion during the tween/teen years. (highly likely I was hypothyroid at the time too. which increases risks to the pg.) dfil's oldest sibling was 18 when he was born. (I think the youngest living sibling was 9.) she refused to see him for three days because she was supposed to get a sister. she became a 2nd mother and they were very close. Quote
kitten18 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 When I was born my siblings were 21, 19 (brothers) 16, and 12 (sisters). I was an awesome addition to the family. 😂 Seriously, they all doted on me. I'm not as close to my brothers because they were grown and out of the house a few years after I was born. But I'm super close to my sisters and they loved taking care of me and taking me everywhere with them. 5 Quote
Catalytic Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 2. 38 isn't old, even for a pg mom., I was in my 40s - and dh was in his LATE 50s. he ws often mistaken for grandpa - and thinks it hilarious. I get mistaken for grandma if 1dd is with us. like last halloween . . . . when we were at a pumpkin farm . . . . 'oh, how nice to have three generations'. I wasn't paying attention so it registered late or I would have corrected that. dfil's oldest sibling was 18 when he was born. (I think the youngest living sibling was 9.) she refused to see him for three days because she was supposed to get a sister. she became a 2nd mother and they were very close. My DD22...people "accuse" her of being DS6's mom...even her boss thinks he's hers and that we're raising him for her. (Seriously, lol, he can't figure out why a sister would come home on the weekends to see a baby brother, wth) When I have my daughter with me, it does get assumed she's his mom and I'm grandma. All the guys DH works with call him grandpa...a few years back while attending a school, no one in his position had young kids, so there was lots of joshing about the "old man"....except when the school was out, some of them had pregnant wives...we got the last laugh :hurray: Our only real problem when he was born...my 11yr old had been "the baby", and was spoiled, and he wouldn't even LOOK at the baby for a few weeks after we brought him home. SIL came to visit, and jokingly said she was taking the baby home with her...11 year old FREAKED out, "That's OUR baby," and that was that, they've been best friends ever since. Even now, if I offer to swat DS6 on the butt, DS17 will swoop in and rescue DS6. (Remember I said this one will be spoiled LOL, thankfully he's just naturally a good kiddo, because I must admit discipline is hard sometimes!) 1 Quote
gardenmom5 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 my kids are 5 years apart and I know people with a 10 year age gap between kids. My experience has been the same as that of people with a bigger age gap. The biggest benefit I have seen is a lack of sibling rivalry. The older kids adore the baby right away and are very understanding when your time is divided. It is perfect? No, of course not. It does take some adjusting for everyone, but there is sooooo much less drama around the new baby. And I am so, so happy that we homeschooled. My two boys have such a close relationship because they had all those years at home together. I can see that had my older boy been enrolled in public school they would have been strangers. They would have had very separate lives due to the age spread. I am just now coming to terms with the fact that in 2 years my eldest is off to college and younger will be finishing 7th grade. The younger boy will be heartbroken. I will disagree, and I'm speaking from firsthand experience. 1dd and 2dd were both in college on the other side of the country - he's close to both (probably closer to 1dd, but that is her personality). 1ds and 2ds were in public middle school and high school. 1ds (15 1/2 when he was born) is his favorite - even more than me. even now. the olders do make an effort to spend time with him - but they all enjoy him and spend one-on-one time with him. My hair stylist was in her 20s when her brother was born - she spent a lot of time with him and was like a 2nd mom. he just got married, and they are still close. Quote
AK_Mom4 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Older kids were 10,8, and 6 when youngest DD was born. Oldest and youngest have always had a close relationship. Youngest DD always had someone to hold her and entertain her when she was little. She is their biggest fan. I don't think a ten year gap is a bad thing at all. Congratulations!!!!! Quote
heartlikealion Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I will disagree, and I'm speaking from firsthand experience. 1dd and 2dd were both in college on the other side of the country - he's close to both (probably closer to 1dd, but that is her personality). 1ds and 2ds were in public middle school and high school. 1ds (15 1/2 when he was born) is his favorite - even more than me. even now. the olders do make an effort to spend time with him - but they all enjoy him and spend one-on-one time with him. My hair stylist was in her 20s when her brother was born - she spent a lot of time with him and was like a 2nd mom. he just got married, and they are still close. I don't understand. How is it they managed to be so close if they were so far away geographically? Phone calls? Frequent visits? I'm not disagreeing that it happened/is possible. But I will admit that in my own personal experience I was a bit of a stranger with my oldest for many years. When she was in college I was living at home with Mom and Dad. When she got married she moved out of state. We've spent the greater part of our lives living in separate states or countries. We do call and text each other these days, though. My other sister (middle child) has lived in Europe many years. She was a senior in high school when I was a freshman. You can bet we didn't pal around at school LOL. Quote
JessReplanted Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 My older kids have been so great with their baby sister! It's going to be ok. 👠1 Quote
gardenmom5 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I don't understand. How is it they managed to be so close if they were so far away geographically? Phone calls? Frequent visits? I'm not disagreeing that it happened/is possible. But I will admit that in my own personal experience I was a bit of a stranger with my oldest for many years. When she was in college I was living at home with Mom and Dad. When she got married she moved out of state. We've spent the greater part of our lives living in separate states or countries. We do call and text each other these days, though. My other sister (middle child) has lived in Europe many years. She was a senior in high school when I was a freshman. You can bet we didn't pal around at school LOL. they spend time - they talk, they do. there is something about quality vs quantity. people can live in the same house and not want to be with each other. we can be apart - and when together it's as if there has been no time separating. attitude is everything. Quote
kroe1 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Twenty year spread between mine. It is all good. Congratulations! Quote
ErinE Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have four, ages 13, 10, 3, and 2. We always get questions on whether it was planned or my DH is asked if they're all with the same woman. The good part: * As others have said, you will be able to take shower. I rush through getting ready, but at least I'm able to get clean. * Your toddler has someone to play with. The kids play hide and seek and rough house. DD10 likes to dress the baby. DS13 will carry one on his back. * The love in our family has increased. It is a joy to see the love my older two have for the youngest. The difficult part: * I forgot how exhausting babies were and I missed my uninterrupted sleep. Rest as much as you can. * Don't rely on your older two to babysit all the time. That first year with all four was very difficult as DH was traveling every week, we lived in a rural area, and I had no family or friends nearby. My oldest finally pulled me aside and shared his feelings with me: he thought he was constantly watching the babies. He wasn't, but it was often enough that his feelings were valid. To ward off fatigue, my kids are on a schedule (quiet time from 1-3) and I make sure to lay down. Sometimes I read, sometimes I nap, but I don't do chores and try to stay off the computer. * Sources of conflict will increase. I purchased "monkey locks" for many doors in the house so that the toddlers can't go into a room and destroy it, but items special to the oldest two still must be kept up high, out of reach of little hands. Coping methods * Visit with your oldest two, one on one. Car trips are great for this. I ask about their day, their interests. DH and I also try to do special things with them, like go to the movies individually. * Get on a schedule as soon as you can and stick to it. All my kids adopted a regular sleep schedule around six months (wake at 6 or 7 am, morning nap, afternoon nap, bedtime by 7 or 8 pm, awake 2 or 3 times at night). I limited day trips to once a week and tried to be home for quiet time. * Ask for help and keep up your self care. We had someone clean the house a few times with the younger two. Visiting family watched the older kids overnight. 1 Quote
ktgrok Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Can I just say how happy this thread makes me? One of those few threads where we all seem to agree, and so much joy and love and happiness is being expressed. It makes me want to cry some happy tears :) Seriously, OP, look how happy all these women are! It's a great club to be in , and it kind of makes me sad that society doesn't get it, that women are scared into thinking this large spread of ages is a bad thing. It's a wonderful thing! As for age, I was 38 with my youngest as well, and it was no harder or easier than when I was 36 with the one before that. I'm 40 now and hoping desperately to get pregnant again, because it is just so much fun now. And yes, the youngest gets spoiled. I say all the time that the little guy will probably end up a serial killer because he's spoiled rotten. (in truth though, he's the best behaved probably...I think because he has the good role models of his older siblings) 2 Quote
Suzanne115 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have a fourteen year old and a six year old. I was concerned about the age gap, but it has been great. My fourteen year old is the best big sister and it is fun to have kids who are at totally different developmental levels. I am almost 48 so I am an older mom too. I would not change a thing. People can be so negative. Enjoy your pregnancy and your beautiful family! Suzanne Quote
vonfirmath Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have a 13 year old and a 10 year old and am expecting a new baby. After talking to another mother today at the park with kids a similar age, and hearing how terrible it was to have a new baby, I need to hear some good things about starting back over with another baby at this point. When I was expecting my first two kids, I heard mostly positive comments. Now that I'm old (38) and have much older kids, I hear so much negative! Everyone feels the need to share the horrible things that happened to their friends and relatives when they had kids at my age. You'd think I was nearly in the grave. Here I was thinking it would be great to have a little one again, and everyone keeps trying to burst my bubble. Surely it can't be all bad? My kids are only 4 years apart, but I was 38 when I had my daughter. I am NOT nearly in my grave. YEs, I was more tired with the second pregnancy than the first. But it is such a joy to have my 4 year old run in to snuggle with me in the morning and we still go out and play and do many fun things. I also still play frisbee with my kids. I am going to try to relearn to ride a bike once my daughter is riding as well (Its been ~20 years since I last really rode) Quote
madteaparty Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 7 years here and it's great. No rivalry and they truly adore each other. I don't know why this came as a surprise to me, how much they love each other, but I delight in this daily. 1 Quote
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