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Boys and their rooms


Janie Grace
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I'm ready to flip my lid. Is it too much to ask that my sons (14 and 12) keep their clothes either in a drawer or a hamper??? Their room is CONSTANTLY strewn with clothing. Sometimes wet, stinky, etc. I'm OVER it. How do you get your sons to clean up??? (Or dds -- my dd happens to be neat but I'm sure some aren't.) Do I just give up? So discouraged.

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Once a day, hubby just reminds them (9 & 10) to dump all dirty clothes into the dirty laundry basket.  Also if dirty clothes and socks are not in the dirty laundry basket, they don't get washed so my boys will run out of clean clothes and socks to wear.

My boys don't have drawers, their clean clothes are in their wardrobes but in a messy way.  I don't need to open their wardrobes and look :)

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You know, that's all I ask too. Oddly dd is farrrr worse than D's. I've learned to ignore it and then when they can't find something and rush to me in a panic I shrug and say "not my problem". When I finally have a belly full I say " no screen time till rooms are done". This might take a couple days.

 

At one time, when I had more energy to enforce it, the 'no screen till your room is done' was daily. Those were great days lol

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The MOST fun is when a neat 12 year old boy shares a room with a paper-strewing, dirty clothes-leaving 10 year old boy.  Fun and games!  I do a lot of daily room checks but I just can't seem to get it to be a habit, sigh.  But I'm trying to let some of it go--

 

WHY don't you just close a drawer after you get something out?  That's all I want to know--

 

b

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Last Saturday I helped my boys clean their room....we removed 2 13-gallon garbage bags full of trash, broken toys, etc. from their bedroom. They always have clothes strewn, too, but they have a hamper in the bathroom so when they take a shower they just throw the dirty clothes in there right then. I try not to make too big a deal about it, but periodically I do to in and just throw stuff away.

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I don't know if it is boys and their rooms as much the ongoing tension between neat people and not neat people.  I can honestly say that my bedroom is much messier than either of my boys rooms, lol.  And growing up my brother's room was spotless (I think he's more than a little OCD in fact) and my room was NOT spotless.

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As long as there is a door to shut and there are no dirty dishes or open foodstuffs in there, I am happy. Just shut the door and love the kid. I NEVER could get mine to keep it clean. I guess it will be all up to their someday-roommate or spouse. 8-)

 

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DS's is a mess but at least you can walk through it, DD's on the other hand looks like a bomb made of clothes was detonated.  As for keeping them clean? No I don't even try.  The laundry thing is much easier, 1-2X per week I tell them to bring me all of their dirty clothes then I go check and point out all the stuff they missed.

 

We don't use dressers, odd yes but it has helped a lot for DS (DD is a lost cause).  He has a dirty clothes basket and a clean clothes hamper, he's pretty good about making sure the clothes stay where they're supposed to..

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I'm ready to flip my lid. Is it too much to ask that my sons (14 and 12) keep their clothes either in a drawer or a hamper??? Their room is CONSTANTLY strewn with clothing. Sometimes wet, stinky, etc. I'm OVER it. How do you get your sons to clean up??? (Or dds -- my dd happens to be neat but I'm sure some aren't.) Do I just give up? So discouraged.

 

*sigh*  It isn't just boys.  Girls do this, too, at least in my family (nuclear and extended).

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I'm ready to flip my lid. Is it too much to ask that my sons (14 and 12) keep their clothes either in a drawer or a hamper??? Their room is CONSTANTLY strewn with clothing. Sometimes wet, stinky, etc. I'm OVER it. How do you get your sons to clean up??? (Or dds -- my dd happens to be neat but I'm sure some aren't.) Do I just give up? So discouraged.

 

Wet, stinky and potentially moldy clothing could become a health hazard or a risk of permanently damaging clothing. They seem really good at ignoring the problems, though, so you may need to link something they do care about (or can't ignore) to the cleaning. My go-to for the boys is computer time and/or electronic devices.

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When my son was younger, we had a system.  Once he got to be a teen, he just had to keep his door shut so I didn't have to look at it!  He did do his own laundry and change his sheets.  He was very, very busy too during his teen years, so I gave him some slack.   The only hassle was when relatives came to stay, because that's the room they always stayed in.  Then I did require him to pick up.  :)  (I always went back over it a second time though, to make sure it was presentable.)

 

 

 

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Our problems with messy room and closet stopped when I told my 9 years old DS that I will charge him $20.00 per hour to clean up his room. He did not believe me, until one day... when I cleaned his room and he had to pay me for my work. :)

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Do they do their own laundry?

 

Maybe they have too much clothing?

 

I'm close to making mine do their own laundry.  My teen boys leave their clothes all over the floor and then when I ask them to clean up it all gets dumped in the laundry basket - dirty or not.  I'm tired of washing clean clothes.

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Ds's was never moldy clothing. Just stuff. Scout stuff. Camping stuff. Car stuff. Toy stuff. He did pick his college for the free laundry though... He first got interested in Mines because you could see if the washers were busy: http://inside.mines.edu/Laundry-View

 

At our house it's handmade pottery and books from college classes that should have been resold long ago. DS is a hoarder.

 

DD, 18yo, simply stores all her clothes and towels and shoes on the floor between the bed and the door. LOL

 

Shut the door. Keep in the mess.

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We switched to hanging up most of their clothes abd ut is much easier fir them to keep their rooms clean.

 

Still though...dirty clothes often end up two inches away from the laundry basket.

 

My kids now mostly do their own laundry. That helps too!

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When my oldest began having the "tossing clean clothes in the laundry" problem I began making him do his own laundry. He was 7, so I bought those premeasured detergent packs so I didn't have to worry about him spilling detergent everywhere. Now he's 9 and does about half the laundry around here. My 6 year old can't read yet, but he knows what buttons to push, so now he does laundry, too.

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After two weeks of not bringing laundry to the laundry room or putting away clean laundry either when asked or at her convenience resulted in my 11yo. doing her own laundry--a strategy I borrowed from my mother.

 

When she went another week of not picking up or putting away clean laundry, I gave her a one day notice that I was going to put the contents of her bedroom floor and the clean laundry not put away in the garage.

 

The clean laundry she reclaimed and put away after a week. The bags of stuff from the floor are out in the garage waiting for her to get around to it, two weeks later.

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My oldest son does not live with me anymore. You know what's funny? He keeps his (rented) space tidy, cleans his work truck daily.

 

He never did that when he lived here - and he still tends to be a mess when he IS here. Now, sometimes, he does it **just** to irritate me (especially leaving macaroni and cheese makings "out").

 

The overwhelming majority of children won't grow up and keep their homes in the same state they keep ours.

 

And said child is a good *person*. He regularly does things with his younger brother (including buying tickets to the Astros game, and taking him), showing up for work days at his High School Alma Mater (which happens to be my workplace), helping others who struggle with addiction...

 

So sayeth the wise mom who came home from working tonight and melted down because the 2 remaining teens did virtually nothing in terms of chores.

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