catz Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Maybe it's me, but I'd be more likely to be mad than worried. Unless it were a major dire emergency, I would probably not be excited about planning things with them anymore. Especially if you haven't heard anything at this point. I just want to say, this was my original response to this "crises". :lol: I am so sorry for your dd though. I don't have the time or energy for people who don't respect my time and doubly that for those who don't respect the feelings of my children. :grouphug: From my original response, maybe you can detect I've been burned this way before. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 and how sad for her daughter; I bet this is not the first time she was let down as well Hope your daughter bounces back quickly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Dd has a couple of friends with flaky parents. We just acknowledge it (privately in our family) when making plans. It takes the stress off of the friendship for dd. It does get better once they are teens and aren't as dependent on the parents. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I figured there would be a lame excuse. I bet a Reese's peanut butter egg there's more to it than that, but at least now you know the woman is unreliable--and rude. She wouldn't even explain and apologize in person? I'm glad the girls were able to talk this evening. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 No offense, but I liked the woman a lot better when she was missing. Now she just sounds irresponsible and irritating. :glare: I totally agree! Now I'm wondering, was the mom totally on board with a sleepover to begin with? Or was the planning and communication run through the girls? I know sometimes my daughter and her friends will make plans and *then* ask for permission. Still, flaky of them just to pull a no-show. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 The poor little girl who belongs to this mother. Not only did she also miss out on the sleepover, but she knows she looks like the bad guy. I'll bet her life is full of embarrassment and broken promises. Poor kid. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RioSamba Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well, it's good that no harm befell them, but poor DD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well, I'm glad they're OK, but I'm so sad for your DD :( Thanks for checking back in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 sad...very sad. I would say something to the parent when I saw them...but that's just my mama bear coming out. When it involves children I'm more inclined to speak up than if it were just me... She really should know that this is rude and hurtful. This article came up on my FB feed today... it's not exactly a mirror of what happened, but definitely close: http://mic.com/articles/113138/there-s-a-modern-problem-afflicting-our-friendships-and-it-s-time-to-talk-about-it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Maybe I am the only one who isn't happy that they are ok. What horrible people. Hoping your dd finds a truly quality friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm throwing virtual rotten tomatoes at the mom for you! :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Lame. She couldn't get in touch with you for four days? Sounds like they blew it off and didn't look back. I read that linked article. It made me realize I know someone like that (not me). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Seriously, lost their phone charger? What a flake. So sorry for your daughter (and hers). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 sad...very sad. I would say something to the parent when I saw them...but that's just my mama bear coming out. When it involves children I'm more inclined to speak up than if it were just me... She really should know that this is rude and hurtful. This article came up on my FB feed today... it's not exactly a mirror of what happened, but definitely close: http://mic.com/articles/113138/there-s-a-modern-problem-afflicting-our-friendships-and-it-s-time-to-talk-about-it I agree with the linked article. I was just talking about this with DH recently. I find that it is getting more and more difficult to get together with a friend, or especially with a few friends at once. I have been trying to make a lunch date with a long-time friend, but trying to get a mutual time is seemingly impossible. After having seen some of the posts here, I have begun to wonder if all the texts go thru, because our most recent attempt stopped abruptly with her sending, "This Saturday?" And my reply, "sorrry, can't because about to go on vacation and need to finish some things." That was the end. So now I wonder if she either didn't get my response, or she wonders if I never responded to "This Saturday?" Makes me wonder. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Openhearted Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I guess she lost her manners along with the phone charger. :huh: I suppose as well no one within a 500 foot radius had a phone she could use. :glare: If you want to cancel then cancel. If you want to reschedule then reschedule. But really call, text, email or something and let me know because I will worry. Just my opinion though. I am sorry for your dd. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Seems like a pretty lame excuse to me. I do wonder if there's more to it the kid doesn't know or if this is just as frustrating to the kid because her mom is a flake and rude often. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 You know, not only has She-Who-Was-Not-Abducted-By-Aliens let down the OP and her daughter... but she has let down all of US! She could of at least had the decency to have had a flat tire in the middle of a desert or something. Maybe appendicitis... Seriously, though: OP, I'd definitely be rethinking that relationship. Find ways to preserve the children's friendship that does not rely on the mother. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well, in fairness I have no idea WHY it was canceled, because DD didn't ask and friend didn't volunteer the info. I just know that Mom didn't call/email to let us know and that's what's frustrating. She could have had a family emergency. She could have sensitive family issues (spouse with substance abuse, etc.) that caused last minute drama, there may have been car trouble, sick family member, etc. I just wish she would have gone to Target, picked up a new charger, called me and TOLD me. Canceling plans is disappointing, but just not showing at all was SO hurtful to DD. I'm going to give the Mom the benefit of the doubt that there are issues going on that I have NO idea about, and I'll remember that "firm" plans are really "I hope we can do this, but we won't know for sure until the day of..." plans. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Anti-climactic, indeed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristi26 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Anti-climactic and sad. :( Sorry this all turned out so badly. I hope your DD can heal from the hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Not surprising. I am sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well, in fairness I have no idea WHY it was canceled, because DD didn't ask and friend didn't volunteer the info. I just know that Mom didn't call/email to let us know and that's what's frustrating. She could have had a family emergency. She could have sensitive family issues (spouse with substance abuse, etc.) that caused last minute drama, there may have been car trouble, sick family member, etc. I just wish she would have gone to Target, picked up a new charger, called me and TOLD me. Canceling plans is disappointing, but just not showing at all was SO hurtful to DD. I'm going to give the Mom the benefit of the doubt that there are issues going on that I have NO idea about, and I'll remember that "firm" plans are really "I hope we can do this, but we won't know for sure until the day of..." plans. You're a better person than I am. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Wow. So, my calendar is on my phone. If my phone broke, this could happen to me. I'd lose all contacts as well. If I couldn't call people from the school, I'd be screwed. Even addresses are saved on it. I'm also forgetful and lose things. I would be neither mad nor worried. I would assume it was a mix-up or lost phone and when seeing them on Tuesday ask if anything had happened, forgive, and move on. My internal dialogue with stuff like this is, "I hope they're okay--it was probably a mix-up. If that's the case they'll feel awful when they remember, but I don't want to lose their company, so I'll let them know it's forgiven and plan a make-up date." But then, I'm forgetful myself so I tend to be forgiving. There is so much awful stuff in this world, I just do not have time to be pissed off about people forgetting stuff or being late or losing their phones and whatnot. How totally exhausting and hard to find friends! I don't know super-organized people so taking offense at stuff like that would really cut down on my list of friends... Well, you know how to use the internet. Almost anyone can be located by googling name. I've been ditched a few times, or the kids have, at the last second. I always confirmed the day of any event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 OK, here's the update: I am sad to report that Friend and Mom weren't abducted by aliens or in witness protection. I didn't talk to Mom today. However, DD did see Friend. Friend says that they had to cancel and lost their phone charger. Snarky me wonders if they lost their internet, too (Mom has my email address). But, anyway... that's the VERY anti-climatic end to a morbidly entertaining thread. :) I have learned that, although Friend is a great kid, this family is not reliable so ALL "definite" plans should be taken with a large grain of salt. My gut tells me there's more to the story but I'm just going to chill on this whole issue. I'm annoyed (did the Mom even THINK what it would feel like for my DD to be stood up by a friend??). My DH and I were left to pick up the pieces of the mess she (Mom) made and so, yeah, I'm very annoyed. I'll get over it, but until then I'm glad I don't see Mom very much. I'm sorry. Some parents are just flakes. I'm so hyper-responsible that it is hard to process it, but some just are flaky, and think nothing of inconveniencing you, or removing your ability to make other plans to substitute for the ones they are about to ditch. Not nice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I can understand a no show for a play date better than a no show for a sleepover. I think that's a bigger commitment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm sorry. Some parents are just flakes. I'm so hyper-responsible that it is hard to process it, but some just are flaky, and think nothing of inconveniencing you, or removing your ability to make other plans to substitute for the ones they are about to ditch. Not nice. Agreed, particularly with the bolded! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm so sorry for your DD. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhanaBee Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I actually had assumed it would be impossible, but maybe nowadays with the internet it wouldn't be. The letter did not have a return address, just a postmark. I'm sorry to go off topic but.... Eagle, I had a best best friend disappear under similar circumstances when we were both in 3rd grade. My mom knew more about the situation than she let on at the time. Years later she told me what was going on in the family and why my friend and her mom suddenly left. About two years ago I got a Facebook message from a name I didn't know.......but it was Best Friend! She remembered enough about me to track me down. So, there's always hope. You may not know her current name, but I'll bet she remembers you as much as you remember her. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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